Taking one for the team; when it comes to swinging, is it ever ok?

Woman thumbs up, man thumbs down
 Swingers are couples who engage in sexual activity with other people.  There are single people in the lifestyle, but for this article we are talking about couples, after all, if you are single, you are not taking one for the team!
Taking one for the team is something that will come up eventually if you and your partner swing;  how you handle this could determine your future in the lifestyle.
For those of you who are not in the lifestyle, what is taking one for the team?  We all know that the likelihood of two couples finding each other completely equal and appealing is unlikely and unusual.  More often than not, at least one person in the foursome is not attracted to their prospective partner for the evening.  Taking one for the team is when the person who is not attracted, goes along to make their spouse happy and plays with someone they would rather not play with.
Is this really a good idea?  Some people know that they are extremely particular and if they wait to find the “perfect” person for them to play with, they will probably never play.  It’s especially challenging when someone who is very picky is married to someone who is not.  These people can find themselves in situations where they are constantly saying no to potential foursomes and this can create an issue between a couple.  In this case, if the picky person does not lower their standards, they will either never play or will have to take one for the team to make their partner happy.  The question remains, is this a good idea?
Sometimes when confronted with a potential foursome, one of the couple knows that their spouse is very attracted to their potential playmate.  The problem is, even though their spouse is attracted, the other part of this couple is not.   If tthis person backs up, their spouse will not have the opportunity to play with this person, and they do not want to deny them an evening of fun.  They go along to make their spouse happy, and they expect, their spouse would do the same for them if the situation was reversed.  Again, is this a good idea?
I wonder in the above circumstances, if the spouse is aware that their partner is taking one for the team?   Taking one for the team can work if you keep it to yourself and go along without making your spouse feel bad about it.  Perhaps your partner for the evening is not your “model” but he seems nice enough and although he’s not your type, you don’t find him repulsive.  Although some people would not agree, it seems impossible that every couple does not make concessions from time to time to make things work.  The problems arise when this is either an ongoing scenario, or only one of you is ever willing to go along to make your partner happy.
If your spouse knows that you are not really onboard, but insists on moving ahead, this is entering dangerous territory.   When you have expressed to your partner ahead of time that someone grosses you out and they press ahead for you to “deal with it,” that’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship to begin with.   Nobody should ever “expect” you to play with someone you are not interested in.  Should you choose to do it, it must be because you have decided for your own reasons to do it.  It is never a good idea to throw it in your spouse’s face.  If you  decide to move forward, and have a bad result, just remember, they did not push you into it.

In order to have a positive experience in the lifestyle, communication is once again the only way to go.  Talk about these situations before and after they happen.  Try to make light of it, as swinging is for the moment.  “Taking one for the team” generally gets a very negative response and people immediately get defensive claiming they will never do it and neither will their spouse.  Again, if someone repulses you,

then of course, back up and make sure your spouse knows how you feel.  If, however, upon closer examination you discover that nobody ever meets your standards, perhaps you should consider a few things:

 1.  Maybe you really do not want to swing and by finding fault with every potential swing partner, you avoid playing with people altogether.
2.  You have ridiculously high standards.  Do you meet the criteria you set for others?
3.  You are not looking to marry the person, just spend a short time with them.  Does it really matter that they don’t meet all your requirements for a potential mate?
4.  You really cannot stand the thought of seeing your partner with someone else.  By finding fault in every potential swing partner you keep them to yourself.
Don’t misunderstand, I am not advocating taking one for the team.  I am simply attempting to help couples take an honest look at whether or not they should or should not ever lower their standards to make their partner happy.  I do know that my partner has implored me never to take one for the team and I feel the same way.  However, if we are honest and think about those couples we have played with, from time to time, we both have done exactly that.  The reason it has not been an issue is that we either laugh about it after or keep that info to ourselves knowing that we did it for the sake of our partner and it was our choice.