Lifestyle friends are the best friends you can have!

 

3 lifetsyle friends wearing Partners ID jewelry, smiling
3 lifetsyle friends wearing Partners ID jewelry, smiling

Lifestyle friends are the best friends you can have.  It occurred to me this morning when I got a call from a friend in the lifestyle.  This friend and her husband were away for the week and she wanted to catch up.  The  conversation opened with her telling me that she had finally tried double penetration during their stay at a lifestyle resort.  She then filled me in on all the sexy details of their trip.  She gave me blow by blow details of the parties, the playrooms even what she wore to the different events.  Luckily her husband had packed some viagra because towards the end of their stay he was in need!

When I hung up the phone I was smiling just thinking about all the fun they had.  Just then, my phone rang again and it was a very good friend who is not in the lifestyle.  When I asked how her weekend was, she told me it was great.  They had dinner with her husband’s law partners on Friday and went to a wine tasting on Saturday.  On Sunday she took a yoga class and that was all she had to report.

Hmm.  I wonder if they had sex.  I was tempted to ask but decided not to as it is not something we generally talk about.  She asked me how my weekend was and I said it was nice.  We went to a swing club on Friday and rolled home around 3:30 in the morning.    Saturday we hosted a party at our home and within an hour of our guests arriving, we were all naked in the hot tub having sex.  Some guests slept over and the party continued until late Sunday night.  Of course, I told her none of that but instead said we did the usual, nothing special, which in essence, is true.

When I was done on the phone it occurred to me that there is such a huge difference in my relationship with these two women.  One woman I have known for the past 25 years and the other for about two years.  I have had sex with one of their husbands, the other I have not.  I have played with one of the women, the other I have not even kissed.  We have shared everything from husbands, to underwear to sex toys.   My lifestyle friend knows the true me.  When I have a real issue, it is she to whom I turn, not the friend that I have known for 25 years.  That says a lot.

The depth of the relationship between lifestyle friends and vanilla friends cannot compare.  It was the first time I realized how well my vanilla friend would say she knows me when in fact, she does not really know very much about me at all.   When you must keep a secret that is such a huge part of who you are from someone, is that friendship not slightly tainted?

I think everyone in the lifestyle at some point, considers telling either friends or family about swinging.  Most people never reveal this to anyone in their outside life because they do not think people would find this acceptable.  They prefer to keep that part of their lives a secret, which is totally understandable.  There is no doubt that there are people who would not be okay with what swingers do.  Is that a reason to break a friendship?  Swingers are not looking to lose their vanilla friends because they swing but are their vanilla friends going to drift away if they find out?  Do men and women differ on this?  Are men more curious and less judgmental than women?

When we were new to the lifestyle we did confide in a couple that were close friends at the time.  We were not as available as we had been in the past and they were concerned.  Obviously they were shocked when we told them that we were spending time at a swing club.  It was awkward to get through dinner with them because after we confided in them,  the woman became very quiet.  The man waited until the next day and phoned my husband at work to ask him all about it.  He wanted to know if we would invite them to come with us to the club one night.  Clearly, this couple was not on the same page.  The woman basically disappeared from my life after that night and her husband remained friendly with my husband.

When you think about a “good friend” walking away because of your lifestyle choices, it makes you question the integrity of the friendship.  What does the fact that we swing have to do with our vanilla friends?   We haven’t actually changed as people.  We do enjoy activities which might not seem right to them but should they be judging us?  They were friendly with us for many years not having a clue that we went to strip clubs very often.  Having weekly lap dances by girls did not seem to make me lesser of a friend, but I suppose it’s because they did not know about it.

Lifestyle friends are more honest.  They are honest with their spouses and they are honest with themselves.  They are not afraid to be open and it makes for an incredibly enriching relationship.  Even if double penetration is not my thing, I would never judge her for participating in it.  It’s her body and her decision.  The best part is she knows I would never judge her for anything she chooses to do as long as it isn’t hurting anyone.    There are women who love to be a part of a gang bang.  They want upwards of 5, 10 maybe 15 men to have sex with in one night.  Never have I heard anyone in a swing club judge these women for what turns them on.  Who are we to judge?

Most couples would agree that over time the lifestyle creeps up on us and before we realize it, the majority of our friends are swingers.  Dinner parties for us do not include food and it doesn’t really matter what you are wearing to a party because it won’t stay on for long.  Sleepovers are common occurrences and we think nothing of sharing lube and sex toys.

My friend and her husband spent a weekend at our home not too long ago.  We naturally played with each other’s husband and after she asked me if I enjoyed it.  I said I did and she said, “I just wanted to make sure he took care of you or I would be mad at him.”  Of course, she was joking but is that not a good friend?    When I told her how I felt she said, “That’s what friends are for, no?”

Lifestyle friends are the kind of friends that you can count on for just about anything.  Although we share the sexual side of our lives with each other, that is not all it’s about.  It’s a community of close knit friends who can sit on each others laps on a nude beach and drink from each others glasses without anyone giving you a funny look.

With these friends you can say what’s on your mind and nobody will judge you for it.   If you give your friend’s husband a back massage (or blow job) there is no jealousy or concern.  You can speak openly about something of concern and you will notice ten people trying to help you sort things out.  Lifestyle friends are old enough to be our parents and young enough to be our children, yet age is not a factor in our friendship.

It’s a wonderful thing to know that there is a whole community out there that has your back.  Sure, vanilla friends can be wonderful, supportive and warm, but if they can’t know your true essence, they can only be so close.  I don’t keep secrets from my lifestyle friends but I cannot say the same about my vanilla friends.  That says it all.

Lifestyle jewelry makes the perfect gift for both your lifestyle friends and lovers!  Check out the jewelry here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

We are getting  new pieces in almost every day for the holidays so be sure to check back often.  Don’t see what you are looking for?  We custom design jewelry to meet your every need.  Simply send us an email and we will work with you to get what you want.

 

 

 

 

 

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Your lifestyle jewelry made Thanksgiving into a night to remember!

Lifestyle woman wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

Dear Partners ID,

All I can say is you were not kidding!  We read often where you tell people to wear the jewelry and others will spot you!

This happened on Thursday at Thanksgiving dinner!  This would be the last place I would have ever imagined meeting another person in the lifestyle.

I have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years.  My boyfriend and I were experimenting with swinging and I loved it.  He did not and this actually caused us to break up.  Please, no tears, it was for the best.  

It has been a wonderful experience for me both as a part of a  couple and now as a single woman.  The people I meet are friendly and warm and my intention is to find a man (or woman) to be my partner in the lifestyle and possibly more.

My parents are divorced and my dad remarried many years ago.  We do not live in the same state and so I do not see him often.  This Thanksgiving I was invited to join him and his “other” family for the week.  Thanksgiving dinner was at his wife’s daughter’s home.  (I suppose I could call her my step sister but I do not.)  

Anyway, we arrived at her apartment and there were about 15 people invited for dinner.  Of those 15, I knew only 3 people.  I knew I was in for a very long and boring night.  My dad poured himself a glass of scotch and I asked for the same.  The only safe place to sit without having anyone on top of me was a lazy boy chair in the corner of the room.  I settled into the chair with my drink and observed the people moving around making small talk.  

A couple walked in and they were making their way around the room greeting all of the other guests.  When she leaned over to kiss my dad hello I spotted the charms on her necklace as they dangled from her open collared shirt.  It was hard to see at first because she had 2 other charms on the necklace, but I was pretty sure she was wearing your pendant. 

Finally ater greeting the other guests, she was alone pouring a drink so I made my way over to where she was standing.  She turned and smiled, introducing herself.  As I shook her hand I looked closely at the necklace and then I knew for sure.  The necklace had the lifestyle pendant and a heart on either side of the pendant.  Pointing to her necklace I told her I also have the pendant but mine is on an anklet which I never thought to wear for Thanksgiving!  

Long story short, we giggled through dinner and made an early exit.  My father was thrilled to see me hitting it off with some of his wife’s relatives and we laughed about this in the elevator ride down after dinner.   It was an awesome night!  I ended up staying at their home for the night (I didn’t say sleeping because we did not sleep until early morning).  

Moral of the story:  Wear the jewelry!  It is true that you never know where you will find someone in the lifestyle!

Thanks and happy holidays!

xo

Jasmine

Phoenix, Arizona

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This Thanksgiving , don’t forget to be thankful for the lifestyle!

 

I think it is safe to say that these days, people have learned not to take things for granted. For those of us who have been fortunate and are in good health, Thanksgiving seems like the right time to take notice.  It seems every time you turn on your television or computer there is news of yet another tragic event.  Between school shootings, random killings, political discourse, natural disasters, etc. it is becoming very difficult to ignore the fact that so many people are suffering.

Thanksgiving is the perfect time to sit back and count your blessings. First of all, it is important to be grateful for all of the positive things in your life.  It helps to diminish the things we worry about that really are not all that important.  

When considering all of the thing in your life that you are thankful for, don’t forget to include the lifestyle.  For those of us who are fortunate enough to be in the lifestyle, do we tend to take it for granted?  Imagine how many of your friends and colleagues would like to spend just one evening in your shoes!  Swing clubs, private parties, cruises, take overs, resorts, you name it!   For most people, once you have experienced the lifestyle, you do not want to be out.  Why is that?  What is so special about the lifestyle?

What comes to mind for most people would probably be the sex.  The sex is what makes the lifestyle so special.  Being able to have an open marriage and sleep with others has got to be the best thing ever!  Right?  Sure, sex plays a big part in the lifestyle, but that is not what makes it the most special.

Besides the sex, what is so great about the lifestyle?  Most importantly, it would have to be the people.  The lifestyle is the only place where you will always be surrounded by people who just want to have a good time.  There is a time and a place for serious conversations and complaining about all of the world’s problems, but not here.  Swinger events are about joy.  People do not want to spend their day or night thinking about the latest school shooting or the political problems of the world.  The lifestyle is a place to put that aside and enjoy yourself.  

People who are in the lifestyle tend to be very open minded.  That extends far beyond their mentality towards sex.  Most people are not racist, homophobic, prejudiced or judgmental.  Swing clubs are home to every race, religion and gender.  People are welcoming and warm. 

The bottom line?  As you sit around the table and gives thanks for everything in your life that you are grateful for, don’t forget to include the lifestyle.  Perhaps you do not want to say that out loud. Simply give your partner that look and they will know what you’re thinking!

Happy Thanksgiving from Partners ID!!  Enjoy your turkey!

Remember to order your holiday jewelry early for the best selection!  Many pieces are one of a kind and will not be duplicated.  Lifestyle jewelry is the perfect gift for all of your lifestyle friends, lovers and hosts!  See the jewelry here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Partners ID lifestyle jewelry made our vacation much more special!

Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

Hello Partners ID!

We wanted to drop you a line to thank you for helping us to have a most exciting vacation!  Without your lifestyle jewelry, it would not have been the same!

My wife and I have wanted to travel to Europe for many years but between young children and then aging parents, it was hard to get away.

About 6 months ago we finally decided that we were going to travel this fall and nothing was going to stop us! This trip has been planned  since May and we just returned a few days ago.

We have been in the lifestyle for about 18 years and have a very active lifestyle life. Each weekend consists of a house party, meet and greet or hotel takeover. When we can, we travel over to the nearest swing club but it is a distance away.

In preparation for our trip, we went online looking to contact swingers via SDC who might either live near where we were traveling to, or were visiting at the same time. The list of people to connect with included about 7 couples. Each couple was in the area of different places we were planning to stay. The next thing we did was purchase some of your lifestyle jewelry.

Finally October arrived and we were ready to go! The trip itself was incredible. Europe was vastly different from what I had imagined, but wonderful all the same.

Connecting with these other couples proved difficult at best. Some simply ignored our attempts to reach them and others were too busy. Had it not been for the jewelry, the trip would have been a completely vanilla sight seeing few weeks.

It happened in Berlin, Germany. After a long day, we went back to the hotel to crash for the night. Generally we try to keep a bottle of wine in the room but we had finished it the prior evening. After changing into comfortable shoes, we decided to head downstairs to the bar for a night cap. When we entered the elevator there were already a few people inside. The doors closed and the elevator headed down towards the lobby. A moment later, the elevator stopped and when the door opened I glanced up at the man standing in the doorway. Guess what he was wearing around his neck?

I waited until we reached the lobby and as he stepped out of  the elevator, I tapped his shoulder.  When he turned around I pointed to my necklace, holding the pendant in my hand.

Long story short, his wife was waiting for him upstairs in the hotel jacuzzi. He ordered drinks for us all and we ran back upstairs to change and meet them. What a night it was! His wife was very attractive and it was honestly the most erotic night we have ever experienced with another couple. They are from Norway and were staying in Berlin for the week. That meant we were staying in the same hotel for 2 more nights! We did go our separate ways during the day, but for the next 2 nights we had dinner together and spent the evenings in their hotel room. It was the best part of the entire trip!

Please believe me when I say you never know! Had he not been wearing that necklace, those three nights would never have taken place. My wife and I did not even know there was a jacuzzi in the hotel!

Hopefully we will be able to travel through more of Europe next summer. One thing is for sure, we will be wearing our lifestyle jewelry!

Best to you and yours for a wonderful holiday season!

Adam & Lauren
Holly Hills, Colorado

Be sure the check out the lifestyle jewelry here:  The jewelry makes an awesome holiday gift for friends and lovers!

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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The Bliss lifestyle cruise is getting ready to set sail. Are you ready?

Woman on a lifestyle cruise wearing Partners ID jewelry
Woman on a lifestyle cruise wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

Bliss Cruise is getting ready to set sail in less than 2 weeks!  Are you ready?!

Many couples have signed up for and have spent months getting ready for what should prove to be a very memorable cruise.  What could be more exciting than planning for a fun filled week on a beautiful ship with so many like minded adults?  Thoughts of days spent lounging around a spectacular pool with other sexy couples, delicious food and drinks galore are enough to get anyone in party mode indeed.

Lifestyle cruises have become extremely popular both with swingers and naturists.  The swingers love it because it allows them to be both nude and enjoy swinging with other couples.  The naturists love it because of the clothing free option these ship allow.

What could be missing from this very sexy image?

The ability to know at first glance who the swingers are.  That brings us back to the same old question swingers have been asking for years:  how can we know which people to approach?  As people in the lifestyle know, naturists are not swingers and do not appreciate being hit on.

So how can we distinguish swingers from naturists?

What could be easier than wearing a necklace, bracelet, anklet, earrings or even a temporary tattoo, to let others know that you are there to party?  If you already own a piece of Partners ID jewelry, don’t forget to pack it!  If not, you might want to order yours now so you will have it in time for the cruise!  Planning to visit Trapeze before sailing?  Our jewelry is for sale there as well.

All of our jewelry is high quality and designed with an active lifestyle in mind.  The pedant (and most of the jewelry) is constructed of stainless steel so it is ok to get it wet!  The idea is to have fun and know who else is on the same page without having to ask!

Bon Voyage!

You still have time to order!  Visit our online store here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

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Halloween in the lifestyle; why wearing a costume could help make your night the best ever!

Sexy swinger dressed for Halloween with Partners ID necklace
Sexy swinger dressed for Halloween with Partners ID necklace

Boo!

Today is Halloween!  What are you planning to dress up as this year?  A policeman, Little Red Ridinghood maybe a schoolgirl?

People frequently ask us what we will be dressed as for Halloween.  Naturally our answer is always the same; swingers of course!  No, we are not party poopers and we have come up with some pretty clever costume ideas over the years.  What we have noticed, is that there are many people who take this opportunity to dress up in a way that makes them unrecognizable to others.  We believe that there is a reason they do this.
Some people in the lifestyle are extremely outgoing and have no problem approaching other couples.  Every chance they get, they mingle and flirt and generally know most of the people at any  party by the end of the evening.  Then there are others who are too shy or insecure to approach other couples.  This holiday is the perfect opportunity for them to come out of their shells by hiding behind a costume.
Think about it, if you are wearing a mask and people cannot identify you, do you not feel bolder?   If you approach a couple and you are wearing a mask, chances are they will be very friendly because they are not sure whether or not they know you.  This is exactly what we have observed occurring every Halloween.  There are always a few couples wearing the kind of costume that makes it impossible to guess who they are.  It is very possible that some of these masked guests are new to the lifestyle. They are taking the opportunity to visit a swing club and remain anonymous.

Whatever the case, if you are one of those “shy” people, perhaps this is the perfect time for you to take advantage and go after what you want!  There are women in the lifestyle who always wear a wig when they are at a lifestyle event.  They claim they have more confidence because people do not recognize them and they like it that way.  Costumes are also a good conversation starter.  Complimenting others on how clever they are or how perfect their costume is makes it easy to open the dialogue.  Once you have begun a conversation it is easy to introduce yourselves and ask the other couple questions about themselves.

 The other interesting part of dressing up for Halloween is noticing costume choices.  I cannot help but observe that some of the quieter more shy couples take advantage of this holiday by wearing outrageous costumes.  Some choose the very provocative, sexy costumes.  Many of the timid girls tend to go for the slutty look and the men frequently focus on calling attention to their genitals in one way or another.  It always makes me wonder if they wish they could be more sexually open on regular lifestyle nights.
Even the play areas during Halloween seem busier than usual.  Many couples keep their masks on, and again, seem more determined than usual, to go after what they what.  Somehow, the use of masks in the play area is reminiscent of the movie Eyes Wide Shut ( a 1999 erotic drama film) starring Tom Cruise.
Whatever the case may be, whatever your costume of choice, tonight is the night to be bold and go for what you want.  Costumes allow us all the freedom to be someone else for an evening.  What could be more liberating than that?www.s
Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry so even though others might not recognize you, they will recognize your jewelry!  Find it here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net
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Sex and aging; did I just meet a bunch of swingers in an assisted living facility?

Seniors laughing about sex wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

Is sex something only enjoyed by the young? Every swinger I know would say this is completely untrue.  Here I discovered how wrong this statement actually is. 

I recently went to visit a relative of mine who lives in an assisted living facility.  I’m sure you have seen one.  It houses mostly elderly people who live in their own apartments.  They generally eat their meals and spend their days downstairs in a common area.  Many people use walkers and many have oxygen tanks, which they push in front of them.  The concept is wonderful as it offers people a variety of daily activities to keep them busy and entertained.  

It was my first visit to this place and she gave me the grand tour.  She showed me the card room, the bowling alley, the shuffle board area, the movie theater, etc.  The place was quite impressive and I remarked how she must love all it has to offer.  Although she said she enjoys some activities, she mentioned that she really loves to swim more than anything else.  This place has a pool so it seemed logical that she would spend her time there.  When I asked if she swam often, she told me she does not.  Apparently there is an issue with the pool…

What she told me next I found a bit shocking.  Swimming would be wonderful if “Dave” were not always hanging around the pool.  It seems she and “Dave” had a brief fling in the past.  “For me it was just sex, but he was hoping for more.”  It is important to note that this woman is 92 and “Dave” is in his late 80s.  The conversation at this point turned to what really happens here at this facility. 

We generally do not think in terms of elderly people in sexual terms, but it seems that we are all mistaken.  At first I thought perhaps my great aunt was different.  I considered that maybe my high sex drive is genetically linked to this woman.  Evidently, sex amongst the residents of this complex is rampant.  As we walked into the dining room, my great aunt pointed to different people and gave me a brief synopsis of each person’s sexual past.  If what she was telling me was accurate, swinger’s should look forward to their futures!  They will no longer have to drive to a swing club at night!  This place was a 24 hour party!

Of course there was no hint of any gang bangs or threesomes, but she did point out one man who liked to fondle women without their permission.  When I asked if the administration has tolerance for this type of behavior she was quick to tell me no.  This man is on probation and will be asked to move if there are any more complaints against him.  

It seems there is quite a bit of activity that goes on at night behind closed apartment doors.  There are many established “couples” but there are also residents with a reputation for availability for an evening of fun.  Mind you, some of these people are in their mid nineties.  I did ask at one point if sex is still enjoyable and my aunt was quick to tell me yes.  It seems these gentlemen have access to Viagra (compliments of Medicare) and they are not shy to pop them into their mouths in full view during dinner time.  Night life here begins around 7:00, most like to be in bed by 10:00 pm.  

The second glass of wine they served with lunch gave me the nerve to ask about the act itself.  My aunt explained that sex changes simply because many people are not able to physically accomplish what they could do in the past.  Sex was more stimulating each other, intercourse was rare.  The younger men were very popular with the more sexually active older women simply because they could still have intercourse.  

I asked if she thought most of the residents were actually still having sex and my aunt could not answer.  She believes that this dining room was somewhat like high school all over again.  There were groups of friends, some more popular than others.  Some people always sat alone and the same groups always congregated to the same tables.  Her group was outgoing, flirtatious and drinking a lot of wine.  Some other tables acted similarly, but most seemed quiet and reserved.  Once you were a part of a “group,” you did not get to know the other residents very well.  If they were all doing what those in her group were doing, then yes, everyone was having sex.  

After lunch I said my goodbyes and left.  Who knew that a trip to this assisted living facility would uncover a twenty-first century Peyton’s Place?  Behind the doors of this seemingly innocent home for the elderly, is a community of residents craving the same physical attention as their younger counterparts.  What most of us see when we visit a place such as this are their walkers and oxygen tanks.  Most people don’t stop to consider that although their bodies have aged, their needs have not. 

What I wondered most when I left was whether the sex was a physical need or an emotional one.  Are elderly people craving the physical closeness of another or did they truly retain their sex drives?  From what I was told, it was simply a sexual desire.  It explained why my aunt does not want to swim any more.  She was not interested in a relationship, just still enjoyed the sex.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think my visit would turn into a lesson on sex and the elderly!

To be honest, when I thought about her group of friends at lunch, there was something familiar about their camaraderie.   Obviously, she does not know I am in the lifestyle but something told me that maybe she is too…

It left me wondering if perhaps I should be selling lifestyle jewelry to them.

The holidays are fast approaching!  Lifestyle jewelry makes a great gift for your lovers and friends!  It is a very popular host/hostess gift for private parties.  Click here to see the jewelry:

www.swingerjewelry.net

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Swinging is not cheating; understanding the difference.

Couple who swings, doesn't cheat. Wearing Parners ID jewelry
Couple who swings, doesn’t cheat. Wearing Parners ID jewelry

 

 

 

Swingers have a clear understanding of what swinging means and they definitely do not consider themselves cheaters.  The percentage of people in the lifestyle who cheat on their spouses is significantly lower than the percentage in the population at large.  Before we can talk about cheating, let’s discuss what the word really means.   According to dictionary.com a cheater is  a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds.    I do not see how swingers are guilty of this in any way as real swingers bring their partners with them when they actively swing.   In any group  of people, regardless of their sexual orientation, preferences, religions, politics, etc, you will find some ‘bad apples’, but as we know, we cannot judge an entire group of people based on a few misguided souls.

It is important to consider why someone in a committed relationship  might cheat on their spouse.   One reason someone might cheat is because they are not satisfied with the sex they are having with their partner.  It could be that the actual act itself is not what one person needs to feel fulfilled or perhaps it is not frequent enough.  Perhaps the cheater has met someone and is physically attracted to them.  Some people who have been married for a while feel the need to be attractive to someone else. Another scenario could be that the couple is not connecting and having problems; be it money, kids, whatever, and the result is lack of interest in having sex with each other.  Maybe the spouse has stopped taking care of themselves and is unappealing to their partner.  Whatever the case may be, the end result is that this person looks to have sex with someone else and keeps it a secret from their spouse or significant other.  This is cheating and ultimately will lead to a problem between the couple if it is discovered.

Let us now look at swinging.  Swinging is done with your partner.  The couple enters the lifestyle and chooses to seek out a sexual relationship with another couple or a single swinger.  It does not really matter why the couple has decided to do this, but rather the fact that it is done in plain view of each other.  There are no secrets or deceptions here.  If you watch a couple playing with another couple, you will usually see the spouses interacting with each other while they are playing with someone else.  A hand on their shoulder, a kiss, a helpful hand down there, whatever it is, you will see that this is something they are doing together.  That is very different from sneaking into a hotel room while your spouse is at work or with the kids to have sex with someone else.  Even when swingers decide to play separately, they do it with permission from their partner.

If you have a relationship like swingers do, why would you cheat?  It is very liberating to be so open and honest with your partner about everything you are doing, why would you bother doing this behind their back?  For most couples who swing, they have formed a very strong bond.  They are even more connected because they share a secret lifestyle that most choose not to expose to others in their lives.  This “secret” can be a strong glue for couples.

Let’s be honest, sex is exciting but often put on a back burner for married couples.  They have busy lives and are often too tired for sex.  They imagine it is mutual and so it can become as much of a routine to not have sex as it once was to have sex.  This can be a slippery slope in marriage as intimacy is a critical component to long lasting successful marriages.  Swingers have very active sex lives, but not every night out to a swing club results in playing with someone else.  Frequently, married swingers will play alone together if nothing else presents itself during that night, and both are usually perfect happy.

One of the big differences between couples in the lifestyle and those who are not is how open couples in the lifestyle are with each other.  When you take jealousy off the table, love can be limitless.  When someone has doubts or fears about their partner’s fidelity, it puts space between a couple.  If every time you see their sexy coworker or watch them come alive when an attractive waiter or waitress flirts with them and secretly wonder what they are thinking, it does not help your relationship.  This wondering casts a shadow on your relationship as it creates doubt and insecurity.   It is common, however,  for couples in the lifestyle to turn a blind eye to sexy coworkers and others because they know they can have what they want in the lifestyle.  They do not look for validation in everyday situations with attractive people because they do not need it.  Vanilla couples, rely on these interactions to gauge if people still find them attractive.

It is said that humans are not monogamous by nature and perhaps this is why it can be such a struggle for couples in long term relationships to remain faithful to one another.  It would seem that for this reason, the lifestyle can offer couples a way to remain together for the long haul.  Many couples are very happily married to their partner, except when it comes to sex.  Why break up a happy marriage when there are alternatives?  Obviously, swinging is not for everyone and people in the lifestyle know that.  Why then do people not accept the fact that monogamy is not for everyone?

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Why should we wear lifestyle jewelry? Is it really necessary?

 

Swingers on beach wearing Partners ID jewelry

Before Partners ID was born, my husband and I had been in the lifestyle for many years.  Some of our favorite lifestyle activities included going to  swing clubs and a local nude beach.  We traveled to Desire and Hedo and had ventured out on a lifestyle cruise.  At times we checked out swinger dating sites for private party information and to meet other swingers online.  

Regardless of the fact that we knew where to go to meet swingers, something was missing. We have always been proud to be in the lifestyle but we also practice discretion.   It is clear to us that there are many benefits to being in the lifestyle but most vanilla couples cannot understand this.  Most people are not open to the concept of swinging.  For this reason, most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves.

At times we would wonder about couples we would spot on the nude beach.  Quite often, we would spot an attractive couple and try to figure out if they were swingers. It occurred to us that other than flat out asking them, there was really no way to know for sure if they were in the lfiestyle. 

Not long after we had started to think about this, we took a trip to Cap D’agde, the naturist resort in France.  This community boasts as many as 50,000 visitors during their busiest times of year.  While the majority of people who visit are nudists, Cap D’agde also attracts many swingers.  During the summer months, Cap D’Agde reports that they can host upwards of 10,000 swingers at certain times.  Although that sounds like a lot, it is only about 1/5 of the population at the resort.

One thing about this is very important to understand.  While swingers can also be nudists, most naturists are not swingers.  More importantly, many naturists are as opposed to swingers as many vanilla couples are.  That creates some difficulty in an environment such as this.  Swingers are all excited to mingle and meet others in the lifestyle, but how can they decipher who the swingers are without asking?

It was at this point that we started to realize that something very important was missing from the lifestyle.  Swingers needed something to identify themselves to each other without alerting everyone around them.  A symbol that was designed only for this purpose.  It had to be too complicated to google yet easy to spot.  

The decision was made to do something about this problem while on the beach in Cap D’Agde.  There were 3 couples involved:  one American couple, one French couple and one Australian couple.  If there was a simple pendant that we could wear, that would identify us to others and others to us, this very vacation would have been so much better!  

This concept made us think about other aspects of our lives.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet other swingers in a local bar, at a grocery store, at a sporting event?  There would no longer be any reason to constantly wonder if other people were swingers.  

Since its inception, customers have written us hundreds of emails.  They relate stories of how they have met others swingers because of the jewelry. Each note always says the same thing:  “We would never have met these people if it wasn’t for the jewelry.”  That is exactly why it was created. 

Now imagine if everyone in the lifestyle wore this pendant….

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  

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An honest blog from a unicorn; you may be surprised by this!

 

We asked unicorns to please help others in the lifestyle to understand (honestly) why they are in the lifestyle and what they are looking for.  Here is one very honest answer.  It might surprise some people to read!

For those of you who are not familiar with the term, a unicorn refers to a single woman who swings.  They are hard to find in the lifestyle but are a curiosity to many people.  People seem to always want to know what brings a single woman into the lifestyle.

Here is her story:

I was married for 6 years and for 3 of those years my husband and I were in the lifestyle. Although we were happily married, we parted ways because he got a job overseas.   I could not bear to move there and leave my family behind.  My parents were not in good health and I am an only child. We are still friendly and perhaps one day we will reunite.

This is how I became a unicorn. As I live fairly close to the swing club my husband and I used to frequent, it was natural for me to return after he left.  I spend at least one or two nights a week in the club. Many people at this club were friends with us as a couple  so it is easy for me to be there alone. I love to dance and for the small price I pay, I have a full buffet dinner and breakfast. Can’t beat that!

There are a few reason why I remained in the lifestyle.  First of all, it is something that has been a part of my life for the past 5 years. Three of them during my marriage, 1 of them as part of a couple and now for this passed year, alone.

What am I looking for? First of all, as I mentioned, I like to dance. If I am being totally honest, sure, I hope to meet a man. Do I want to break up a marriage? No, of course not, but if the marriage is not stable to begin with, I have no control over that. There are married men who ask for my number and express an interest in seeing me outside of the club. It is palpable how many of you are waiting for me to respond absolutely not, I would never do that, but that would not be the truth.

The truth is I sometimes give out my number, it totally depends on the man and his situation. You can see which couples are connected when you are in a swing club. Some are clearly together but they do not really have a relationship. I know some women reading this will accuse me of creating a problem between a couple but the way I see it, it is the husband who is creating the problem. If he wasn’t with me, he would be with someone else. He is the one who is not being faithful.

I have no real interest in being “the other woman”. In the lifestyle, I am so desirable to couples and singles that if I accepted every offer for every party, event, sleepover, you name it, I would be busy 7 nights a week. It is a lot of fun to be the center of attention. I know when I am dancing, all male eyes are on me. Not because I am the most attractive woman, but because I am available and there is no puzzle to solve with matching spouses to each other.

You asked for honesty and I am trying to be completely honest. I am really looking to find someone to be in a relationship with and that is why I am in the lifestyle. Couples sometimes invite me for private weekends and If I am available, I go. Why not? It’s a free vacation and a chance for me to get to know the man more intimately. If his wife knows she can’t trust him, why does she go along with it? If she doesn’t realize what he is really looking for, the question is why doesn’t she know?

Although I do play with both men and women, I am not really bisexual. I go along because as a unicorn this is required. If I were to say I only play with men, I would not be so popular! There are a few other unicorns that frequent this swing club and we all try to be friendly with each other. We establish our territory in terms of who we prefer to end up with at the end of the night. For the most part, unicorns try to respect each other. We often dance together because that too, attracts a lot of attention.

I am not a bad person, just a bit lonely. I am looking for love just like anybody else. Going to a bar or a regular club feels less safe to me. Taking strange men home is always a risk and one that I prefer not to take. The swing club that I go to is on premise, which allows me to play there and go home alone (although, not always alone). I have met single men in the club but for some reason they seem a little bit less safe to me. It seems many of them are married as well.
Hopefully soon, I will meet a man and will no longer be a unicorn!  Although many will deny it, I think most unicorns feel the same way!

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