Why should we wear lifestyle jewelry? Is it really necessary?

 

Swingers on beach wearing Partners ID jewelry

Before Partners ID was born, my husband and I had been in the lifestyle for many years.  Some of our favorite lifestyle activities included going to  swing clubs and a local nude beach.  We traveled to Desire and Hedo and had ventured out on a lifestyle cruise.  At times we checked out swinger dating sites for private party information and to meet other swingers online.  

Regardless of the fact that we knew where to go to meet swingers, something was missing. We have always been proud to be in the lifestyle but we also practice discretion.   It is clear to us that there are many benefits to being in the lifestyle but most vanilla couples cannot understand this.  Most people are not open to the concept of swinging.  For this reason, most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves.

At times we would wonder about couples we would spot on the nude beach.  Quite often, we would spot an attractive couple and try to figure out if they were swingers. It occurred to us that other than flat out asking them, there was really no way to know for sure if they were in the lfiestyle. 

Not long after we had started to think about this, we took a trip to Cap D’agde, the naturist resort in France.  This community boasts as many as 50,000 visitors during their busiest times of year.  While the majority of people who visit are nudists, Cap D’agde also attracts many swingers.  During the summer months, Cap D’Agde reports that they can host upwards of 10,000 swingers at certain times.  Although that sounds like a lot, it is only about 1/5 of the population at the resort.

One thing about this is very important to understand.  While swingers can also be nudists, most naturists are not swingers.  More importantly, many naturists are as opposed to swingers as many vanilla couples are.  That creates some difficulty in an environment such as this.  Swingers are all excited to mingle and meet others in the lifestyle, but how can they decipher who the swingers are without asking?

It was at this point that we started to realize that something very important was missing from the lifestyle.  Swingers needed something to identify themselves to each other without alerting everyone around them.  A symbol that was designed only for this purpose.  It had to be too complicated to google yet easy to spot.  

The decision was made to do something about this problem while on the beach in Cap D’Agde.  There were 3 couples involved:  one American couple, one French couple and one Australian couple.  If there was a simple pendant that we could wear, that would identify us to others and others to us, this very vacation would have been so much better!  

This concept made us think about other aspects of our lives.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet other swingers in a local bar, at a grocery store, at a sporting event?  There would no longer be any reason to constantly wonder if other people were swingers.  

Since its inception, customers have written us hundreds of emails.  They relate stories of how they have met others swingers because of the jewelry. Each note always says the same thing:  “We would never have met these people if it wasn’t for the jewelry.”  That is exactly why it was created. 

Now imagine if everyone in the lifestyle wore this pendant….

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  

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An honest blog from a unicorn; you may be surprised by this!

 

We asked unicorns to please help others in the lifestyle to understand (honestly) why they are in the lifestyle and what they are looking for.  Here is one very honest answer.  It might surprise some people to read!

For those of you who are not familiar with the term, a unicorn refers to a single woman who swings.  They are hard to find in the lifestyle but are a curiosity to many people.  People seem to always want to know what brings a single woman into the lifestyle.

Here is her story:

I was married for 6 years and for 3 of those years my husband and I were in the lifestyle. Although we were happily married, we parted ways because he got a job overseas.   I could not bear to move there and leave my family behind.  My parents were not in good health and I am an only child. We are still friendly and perhaps one day we will reunite.

This is how I became a unicorn. As I live fairly close to the swing club my husband and I used to frequent, it was natural for me to return after he left.  I spend at least one or two nights a week in the club. Many people at this club were friends with us as a couple  so it is easy for me to be there alone. I love to dance and for the small price I pay, I have a full buffet dinner and breakfast. Can’t beat that!

There are a few reason why I remained in the lifestyle.  First of all, it is something that has been a part of my life for the past 5 years. Three of them during my marriage, 1 of them as part of a couple and now for this passed year, alone.

What am I looking for? First of all, as I mentioned, I like to dance. If I am being totally honest, sure, I hope to meet a man. Do I want to break up a marriage? No, of course not, but if the marriage is not stable to begin with, I have no control over that. There are married men who ask for my number and express an interest in seeing me outside of the club. It is palpable how many of you are waiting for me to respond absolutely not, I would never do that, but that would not be the truth.

The truth is I sometimes give out my number, it totally depends on the man and his situation. You can see which couples are connected when you are in a swing club. Some are clearly together but they do not really have a relationship. I know some women reading this will accuse me of creating a problem between a couple but the way I see it, it is the husband who is creating the problem. If he wasn’t with me, he would be with someone else. He is the one who is not being faithful.

I have no real interest in being “the other woman”. In the lifestyle, I am so desirable to couples and singles that if I accepted every offer for every party, event, sleepover, you name it, I would be busy 7 nights a week. It is a lot of fun to be the center of attention. I know when I am dancing, all male eyes are on me. Not because I am the most attractive woman, but because I am available and there is no puzzle to solve with matching spouses to each other.

You asked for honesty and I am trying to be completely honest. I am really looking to find someone to be in a relationship with and that is why I am in the lifestyle. Couples sometimes invite me for private weekends and If I am available, I go. Why not? It’s a free vacation and a chance for me to get to know the man more intimately. If his wife knows she can’t trust him, why does she go along with it? If she doesn’t realize what he is really looking for, the question is why doesn’t she know?

Although I do play with both men and women, I am not really bisexual. I go along because as a unicorn this is required. If I were to say I only play with men, I would not be so popular! There are a few other unicorns that frequent this swing club and we all try to be friendly with each other. We establish our territory in terms of who we prefer to end up with at the end of the night. For the most part, unicorns try to respect each other. We often dance together because that too, attracts a lot of attention.

I am not a bad person, just a bit lonely. I am looking for love just like anybody else. Going to a bar or a regular club feels less safe to me. Taking strange men home is always a risk and one that I prefer not to take. The swing club that I go to is on premise, which allows me to play there and go home alone (although, not always alone). I have met single men in the club but for some reason they seem a little bit less safe to me. It seems many of them are married as well.
Hopefully soon, I will meet a man and will no longer be a unicorn!  Although many will deny it, I think most unicorns feel the same way!

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Swingers finding swingers while having a drink at a bar!

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We get a lot of email from our customers, which we appreciate greatly!  We obviously cannot publish every letter we receive but this couple asked us to share their story:

Hello Partners ID!

First of all I want to say that my wife and I have been fans of your company since we first heard about you.  As I am sure many others did when they learned of your company, we wondered why it took this long for someone to actually develop a symbol strictly for swingers.   It seems like a no-brainer yet nobody has ever done it before so, bravo to you!

We purchased a couple of necklaces a few months ago, which we love, and put them on our necks.   About 3 weeks after we started to wear them we were traveling to see my wife’s parents down south.  We do not like to stay with them so we checked into a hotel not far from where they live.  The first night we arrived late so we decided rather than disturbing them we would just grab a bite somewhere near the hotel and wait until morning to see them.   The concierge at the hotel recommended a bar within walking distance of the hotel, so off we went for dinner.

The place had a decent crowd so we figured the food must be good.  My wife and I waited at the bar for a table, and soon the hostess came to get us.  The hostess told us that it would be no problem to just put the bar tab on our food bill.  With that, we followed her to the table.   A few minutes after sitting down, the hostess came back to our table to inform us that a couple at the bar had paid our bar tab.  We were shocked because we did not know anyone there and we don’t live nearby.  She then pointed to an attractive couple sitting across the bar from where we were sitting.   The hostess then handed me a piece of a napkin which was folded in half.  The note was from the couple,  it read, “We love your necklaces.”

We couldn’t believe it!  WOW!  We waved them over to the table and the rest is history!  We had a wonderful night with them and have been in touch ever since.   They are planning to come and stay with us soon and we are really looking forward to that!

So again, Bravo!  Well done!  We really weren’t sure we would ever find someone with the jewelry but we did!  The funny thing is, the other couple did not have the jewelry but they knew what it was.  As you know, we just purchased 2 necklaces and are planning to surprise them with the jewelry when they come to visit.

Thank you again Partners ID!

David and Vicki

North Potomac, MD

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

 

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Dick vs. Brain; Which organ rules when swinging?

                             brain vs. dick

(We should warn you that this article is tongue in cheek.  This blog is written with a sarcastic overtone and should not be taken seriously!)

It makes me laugh when I hear women discuss how their husbands behave in a playroom at a swing club or any other swinging environment. Anything they discuss with their significant other prior to swinging, goes right out the window. No matter how hard they try to drop subtle hints to their significant other , the man seems oblivious. The problem is most notable in the play area of swing clubs or private parties.  It seems men are in total control until they get an erection Why is this?

Quite possibly, this problem can be explained like this:  As a man gets an erection, there is an increase in blood flow to the penis.  This blood must come from somewhere, right?  Perhaps the brain is depraved of the blood due to the redirecting of this needed blood to the penis.  As his respiration rate increases due to heavy bleeding, the brain is now also incurring a lack of sufficient oxygen.  This clouds his ability to think clearly.  How can we hold men accountable when their bodies are under such duress?  Their now throbbing dick has caused their brain to slow down.

Sounds like I have a problem with men, right? Actually, I don’t. I was reading a long forum thread on a website discussing this. Believe it or not, this was a man’s analysis of what occurs. He was begging forgiveness for all men, for the way they sometimes behave when they are excited. He asked his playmates and significant other to forgive:

His lack of overt interest in her because his erection required more attention than she.

He asked forgiveness for spending way more time using his mouth on her (rarely have I heard a woman complaining about this) but he was trying to become erect

Paying too much attention to his wife or girlfriend; it helps him to be more excited.

For never noticing that his wife was not interested in playing with his beautiful playmate’s husband.

For not noticing that the other man could not get an erection. He was too busy with the beautiful playmate he was with.

For allowing his dick to be in charge of both his mind and his body.

He went on to explain that he really cares about both the woman he arrives at the club and the woman he plays with.  His dick, from what he says, is the one in charge. Once they enter the back room, his brain has stopped trying to be in control because he learned early on that it was a useless battle.

I replied to his response and asked him if this only applies to the playroom or does this have something to do with his behavior in the bar area of a club. His honesty is refreshing and quite funny. The man wrote that his brain is in complete control before his clothing is removed. The problem seems to begin when he sees a woman that he is attracted toAt this point, control between his brain and dick .   it can become a tug of war.  He has discovered his dick is usually victorious over his brain.

He told me that when he and his wife started swinging, it was a huge issue. More often than not, they left the club or party in a fight. He felt bad about it but did not think he was the one to blame. It seemed to him that his wife was the one with the problem and he was a victim.

He took to the forum on a swinging site and started asking others for their opinion. After a while he realized that most people were giving him the same advice: communicate with your wife and find out what’s really bothering her. Start the conversation immediately after you leave the party (or club).

After their next evening out swinging, as soon as they got into the car, he turned to his wife.  He asked her if he had done something wrong. The first thing she brought up was their secret code. It is a word that they use to indicate whether or not the person has interest in a potential playmate.  Apparently my wife used the word 3 times that evening to indicate that she was not interested in playing with this particular man. OOPS! Guess who we played with that evening….

Second, we had a no kissing rule which I was very good about when we were having drinks prior to play time. Although she understands that sometimes the other person makes it hard not to kiss them back, he was the one who was initiating the kissing. My wife mentioned that she was tapping my arm to remind me but I did not seem to feel it.

Every conversation or rule that my wife and I had discussed, seemed to evaporate as soon as my clothing came off.   My brain no longer reminded me that we had certain expectations of each other when we swing.

That was when I had a revelation about playing with other women. All of this time I had been blaming my wife for being jealous and picking nonsense fights when she was strictly asking me to be accountable for my behavior. The truth is, she was right! My dick was calling all the shots and I allowed him to be in control!  I could not hear her trying to speak to me or feel her touching me while I was playing with someone else! The attention I had to give to keep my erection was dulling all of my other senses!

His wife, at other times, is the object of his attention. If he cannot get an erection, he often turns to watch his wife hoping that this will excite him. He will, at times, try to involve himself in her play with another man hoping she can help him. Other times, he interrupts his wife’s play to ask for her assistance. The wife is aware of why he does this and is happy to oblige. What bothers her is that if she tries to get his attention while he is busy playing, he is unaware of her.

What is the take away from this? This man said that he felt compelled to make a blanket apology for his dick’s actions. Working on this problem is a bit more difficult than he had anticipated. It seems his dick insists on his full attention but he is making a conscious effort to be more aware of his wife during playtime.

So there you have it, an explanation as to why men behave the way they do when swinging. Their dick is to blame for their erratic behavior. Do I think women are going to buy this? I will let you know what they say…

If you are looking for lifestyle jewelry that is recognized around the world, check our website. When you see our pendant, you have found another swinger!
Check out all of our jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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The lifestyle can be difficult for new swingers to navigate. Where should they start?

 

Couple looking to swingm

The lifestyle can be difficult for new swingers.  Where should they start?

Swinging used to be relatively easy for new couples to navigate.   The internet was not yet born.  Those who were looking to swing had to find ads in magazines or learn by word of mouth.  Naturally, swing clubs were pretty much the only place you could go to find a group of swingers.  Meet and greets and private parties were very difficult to find.  These were not things people were advertising in magazines.  There were no real choices to be made when it came to swinging.  If you wanted to see what it was all about, you would head out to a swing club.

With the popularity of the internet, this has all changed.  It is easy to look up swinger events, clubs and venues online. This, however, does not mean it is easy to figure out how to begin your swinging career!  Every blog you read tells you something different.  Some say online dating sites are the best while others say steer clear of them.  Some writers recommend visiting a swingers resort while others say that is a terrible introduction to swinging.

On your first night it will benefit you to be content to sit back and observe.

Every swinger was at one time new to the lifestyle, or in swingers terms a “newbie”.   The first time we went to a swing club, the manager gave us a tour.  When he was finished, we were left inside to fend for ourselves.  It was the first time I had ever felt like the two of us were one person.  Although we were together, we were actually alone.

We looked around the club and it felt like everyone knew each other.  There were clearly a bunch of different cliques of people.  As we sat and watched, we wondered how we would ever meet people.  It felt like everyone seemed to belong, except for us.  After assessing the situation (and throwing back a few shots), we got up the nerve to dance.  People on the dance floor smiled at us and one couple even came over and asked us if we were new.  Is it that obvious, I wondered?  We said we were and they introduced themselves.  With that, a couple they knew walked over and they turned their attention to the other couple. Since this was our first time at a swing club, we were content to just observe the crowd and go home early.

On your second visit you will have a better idea of how the club works; this will make it more comfortable.

A few weeks later, we decided to try it again.  This time I knew how to dress and what to expect.  That made a big difference in the way we handled ourselves when we walked in.   First of all, we decided to get there early so it was not very busy when we arrived.  We went right to the bar and got our drinks.

We looked around to see if we could find the couple that had introduced themselves to us on the dance floor, but they were not there.  There was a couple sitting on a couch by themselves so we walked over and asked if we could sit.  They were very friendly and seemed happy to meet a new couple.  We were not looking so much to swing with them, as we were looking to meet people to talk to.

Soon, the couch was filled with couples they knew, and they introduced us to them.  Just like that, on our second night in this swing club we had met about ten couples.  This is a very easy way for newbies to be introduced to swingers and the lifestyle.  Most of the couples we met that night were regulars at this club.  This meant that when we decided to return for another night, chances are, at least a few of them would be there so we wouldn’t have to be alone.

A swing club allowed us the opportunity to see what it was all about while taking it at our own pace. We did not feel any pressure to do anything that was out of our comfort zone.  Nobody was counting on us to make the night a success.  The club environment allows you the freedom to arrive and leave on your own schedule (unlike private parties, where people are counting on you). When we did not feel comfortable talking to a couple we simply left to dance or excused ourselves to get another drink.  People were both friendly and respectful.

Don’t rush the process, make sure you are both ready before you take the next step.

Nothing causes a couple to fail at swinging more than when one person is pushing the other to do something that makes them uncomfortable.  It is normal to get caught up in the excitement of the lifestyle but it is important to always consider your partners feelings.  If you would like to continue in the lifestyle with your partner, always keep this in mind.

Eventually, you will both be ready to take it to the next step.

When we felt ready, we took it to the next step all on our own.

What about meet and greets; are they a good place for newbies to start?

Some people feel that meet and greets are full of swingers who all know each other and are not looking to meet new people.  This is where I wholeheartedly disagree. Most swingers I know actually choose to go to meet and greets purely to meet new swingers. If they were not looking to meet new people, they would simply go to a swing club where the regulars are.

Meet and greets are designed to give couples who are new to the lifestyle, or new to the area, a chance to meet other swingers. Some of the couples we have met at meet and greets are swingers who do not like swing clubs and are looking for couples to invite out privately. This can be good or bad. If the couple are seasoned swingers, you might want to let them know you are new and are looking to take swinging step by step. The good thing about couples who are not new to the lifestyle is that they can help you navigate the whole process. The bad thing is, they might want you to move faster than what is comfortable for you. Communication is always very important in any swinging situation.

Lifestyle resorts and expos, would newbies feel comfortable in these environments?

Lifestyle expos and resorts can be a lot of fun, but if you are new to the lifestyle and just looking to see what it is all about, these types of venues can seem a bit hard core. Both are a lot of fun for swingers, but if swinging is new to your couple, these environments can be intimidating. Most people who attend conventions or go on swinging vacations are not new to the lifestyle. They have a limited amount of time and want to make the most of the vacation. At the last expo we attended, by the time we arrived (which was only few hours after it started), the party was in full swing with many couples already naked in the pool enjoying themselves. It was fine with us, but if we were newbies, it would have felt a little intimidating.

What about a swinger cruise?

Swinger cruises are also a wonderful vacation for those in the lifestyle but perhaps not the best place for new swingers to start. The biggest problem with a cruise for your first introduction to the lifestyle, is that you cannot walk away if you do not like it. Of course you do not have to swing, but the majority of people who choose a lifestyle cruise, do so, because they are looking to swing.

We see that we can sign up on a swinger dating site for a private party…

Some people who are new to swinging might think a private party would be an easy way to meet other swingers. After all, there are usually less people at a party than a club, so it is easier to talk to others. While this may be true, most private parties are for real swingers. When you attend a private party, people usually think if you are there, it is to play. Why else would you attend? For that reason, it is probably not the best place to start, unless you think that you want to swing your first night out, which is usually not the best idea.

How about trying to meet couples on swinger dating sites?  This seems easy…

Swinger dating sites are also great for swingers but may not be the best avenue for new swingers to take when trying to meet other couples. It can be difficult to navigate these sites when you are new to the lifestyle. Looking at photos (which frequently are not very current) and reading ages (again, not always honest) and profiles can be misleading. Trying to meet up with couples who cancel at the last minute or don’t respond to your emails can be frustrating. New swingers might take it personally while seasoned swingers have learned it is not personal. Many swingers also know what to look for when checking out online sites, while newbies do not. This can cause them to have a negative first experience.

So what’s the bottom line?  We are new to the lifestyle and would like to test the waters.

For these reasons, I  recommend to new swingers that the best place to start would probably be at a meet and greet. If you are lucky, you might meet another new couple and the four of you can venture out to a swing club together to get a feel for the lifestyle. Swing clubs sometimes also host meet and greets from time to time and this is even better. These events mix new swingers with those already in the lifestyle. This gives those who are new, a chance to see a swing club.   It also allows them the opportunity to meet both new and old swingers. It gives you the freedom to come and go as you please. Nobody expects anything from you. You can choose to sit back and observe or you can jump in and join the party.

The most important thing for new swingers is to communicate.

Whatever you decide for your first swinging experience, make sure to communicate with your partner both before you go and while you are there. Before making the decision to play with another couple, it is crucial that you decide this as a couple. If one person is not ready, it will only lead to disaster and very likely will stop your swinging career before it ever begins. The lifestyle is a wonderful thing if handled properly. Your partner must always be made to feel like your number one priority. You cannot enter a swinger environment and leave your partner to fend for themselves or to follow your every lead. Swinging must be done as a joint venture, especially at the beginning, to ensure success.  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/communicate/

The most important thing to remember is that this is supposed to be fun! If one of you is not having fun, then perhaps you need to back up and figure out why someone is not happy. Swinging is not for everyone and it will not work if one person is doing it for their partner. Again, communication is the key to success in the lifestyle.

Don’t forget to wear our lifestyle jewelry!

Wearing our lifestyle jewelry is another way to meet swingers.  Sold only through lifestyle sites and venues.  The jewelry allows you to be discreet yet will let other swingers know that you, too, are in the lifestyle.  Perfect for nights out in bars and clubs that don’t cater to swingers.  You’ll be surprised how quickly you will meet other swingers!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers

Follow our blog for great stories from other swingers who have met each other simply because they were wearing our jewelry! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/lifestyle-2/

Good luck and have fun!

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Is it cheating if you arrange to meet an old boyfriend in a swing club?

 

Well, we did our research and were able to find our forum poster!  We reached out to her and here is her follow up!  If you recall, on the forum, people were debating whether or not this woman’s friend was technically cheating on her husband.

When Partners ID contacted me about an old forum post that I wrote 2 years ago, I was shocked!  They said that people are curious to hear what happened.  I am not much of a writer but this is an interesting (and true) story.  

This happened 2 years ago.  At the time, my husband and I spent most of our free Saturday nights at a swing club.   We became friendly with a couple that is about the same age as we are (early 40s).  Whenever we were at the club, we always hung out together.  Sometimes we would all play together in the playroom at the end of the night.   It is fair to say that we knew them fairly well.  I would speak to her during the week and sometimes we would meet for dinner and drinks before heading to the club on Saturdays.  

One Saturday evening, the four of us were sitting on a couch by the front door.  We were having drinks and laughing when we noticed the manager walk in with a new couple.  He was getting ready to give them a tour of the club.  I had spotted this couple on our way in as they were signing in as new members.  Anyway, when my friend sees them, she jumps up and tells the manager that she would be happy to give them a tour.  To say that this is out of character would be a huge understatement.  The manager gives tours often when we are in the club, and she has never  paid any attention to him.  

When she finished giving them a tour she invited them to come and sit with us.  I gave my husband a look but he said she was just being friendly.  I don’t think she said two words to me the rest of the time we were sitting with them.  She was completely flirting with him, excluding everyone else who was sitting there.  My husband and I felt weird so we moved on. Later that evening we went into the playroom but did not see them back there.  

The following weekend was the same scenario  only this time this man showed up with a different woman.  He walked into the club and without hesitation turned and sat down right next to my friend.  The woman he was with seemed very uncomfortable, as did my friend’s husband.  Early into the evening they were throwing back shots and dancing together.  Again, we got up and walked away.  At this point in time, we did question if my friend was technically cheating on her husband.

We did not see them for a few weeks.  The husband spoke with my husband and told him that it was an old boyfriend and it’s nothing to be concerned about.  We made plans to see them in the club that next weekend and I wasn’t sure whether or not her old boyfriend would show up again.  I did notice that the few weeks my friend and her husband were out of the club, the boyfriend was not there either.  

My husband said he thought if this guy showed up again I should make a play for him.  I did not think I could do something like this but the seed was planted. 

That evening, the four of us were dancing and enjoying the evening together.  Sure enough, the old boyfriend shows up on the dance floor with yet another new girl.  My friend, again, turns all of her attention to this guy and we walked off the dance floor.  We went back to grab our drinks but my husband did not want to leave her husband alone in this situation.  He begged me to flirt with this man but I tried to explain that it would only kill the friendship.  

When everyone returned to sit down, I emptied my drink and turned to the new guy.  I struck up a conversation with him asking him if he was new in the lifestyle and where he and his date met each other, etc.  He was actually very friendly and warm and I could see what my friend liked about him.  Trying to be playful, I touched his arm while I spoke and he seemed to enjoy it.  When I looked at my friend, she did not really seem concerned, which confused me.  Deep down, I really thought she would be mad.  

Long story short, the 6 of us ended up in the playroom that evening. My friend and I with her old boyfriend, the guys were with his date and it was so much fun!  There was a little bit of extra affection between the two but I suppose having history, it was expected.  

I met her for lunch that same week and we finally talked about it.  She assured me that she loves her husband and that seeing her old boyfriend became like a fantasy in her mind.  Although she did hope he would show up at the club,  no part of her wanted to leave her husband for him.  That weekend that we played with him was awesome and now she got it out of her system and could put it to rest.  

How’s that for a happy ending?  But that isn’t the end…

The boyfriend  continued to show up at the club every Saturday. My friend continued to pursue him when he was there.  We stopped hanging out with them but watched from a distance while she spent more and more time with him.  About 3 months later, our friends stopped coming to the club.  She never called me anymore so my husband reached out to her husband.   Her husband said he was tired of bringing her to the club so she could spend every Saturday with her old boyfriend while pretending it was normal.  He suspected she was meeting him during the week and hired a private detective.  Long story short, they are divorced.  

This was 2 years ago and happily her husband has found a wonderful woman. They are planning to get married in a few months.  I have not heard from her but her husband told us that she and the old boyfriend are no longer together.  A very unfortunate story!

Wishing you all the best!

Jennifer

To read the original forum post read here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/forum/swingers-talk/meeting-up-with-and-playing-with-an-old-flame-in-the-club-on-purpose/

Don’t forget to check out our lifestyle jewelry!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Embarrassing situations swingers find themselves in…

Are you a swinger?  If you are, you can definitely relate to some of these embarrassing (but true) stories!

My husband and I had my parents over for dinner a few nights ago.  We were sitting at the table enjoying our coffee when our dog skirted under the table to enjoy what I thought was something my father had given her from his plate of leftovers.  Before long she was looking for my mother’s attention so my mother was petting her absentmindedly.  Next thing I know, my mother holds out her hand to show us what the dog had deposited.  It was a chewed up condom package with (thankfully) the condom still inside.  My husband and I were literally sweating,  trying desperately to figure out how to explain this.  Since neither of us could think of anything to say we acted like we couldn’t imagine where she had gotten it.  I didn’t feel comfortable admitting we had had a party that weekend and always supply condoms for our guests to use while they play on the very couch you were sitting on before dinner.  Nope, I didn’t think that would go over very well.  The next morning I did phone her and say that it probably had been in my son’s bedroom and the dog had managed to find it.

You might want to pack a trench coat when you don’t know the destination.

A few weeks ago we were heading out on a Saturday night to a private party.  We know the couple who were throwing the party but we had never been to their home.   I usually bring something in the car to put on in case of an emergency (I have already had that problem two times).   We were in a hurry and I forgot until we were already on our way.  Since we were running late, I decided to forget about it for this one time.  We arrive at the address and to my surprise, it is a building.  Naturally, when we walk in there is a doorman, a man at the front desk and a gentleman who takes you upstairs in the elevator.  I feel especially pleased that I am wearing a super slutty outfit that is practically see through.  I imagined all three men watching us by video going up in the elevator taking bets on whether or not my husband had hired me for the night.    When we arrive at their condo, my friend opens the door and gets hysterical laughing.  She knew right away the shame I had to endure to get up to her apartment.  She was then concerned that I would be the first of many dressed like this and now the people downstairs would look at her differently.  Perhaps next time you might want to mention to lifestyle guests that there is a front desk!

Ordering online should be a private way to get what you want, right?

I love to dress up when we go to parties and clubs, and  I especially enjoy  shopping for slutty clothing.  It can be difficult to find stores that carry this type of clothing so most of the time I shop online.  I placed an order with a store a few months ago and waited for the package to arrive.  It did not arrive as schedule and so I checked the tracking.   It showed the package had been delivered.  I went back to see what address they had delivered it to since it was not mine.  When I looked it up, I realized the company sent it to my old address!  I had the phone number for the new owners so I called her and asked if she had the package.  She said she didn’t think so but would get back to me.  She sent me a text message later that day saying it had indeed arrived and since she was on her way out, she would leave it at her front door for me to pick up.  I arrived at her house and  pulled into the driveway.  I was anxious to jump out and to grab the package.  My old neighbor spots me and walks over to say hello.  I told her I was in a hurry but just needed to grab a package that was left at the door.  She says, “Yes, I know, Susan told me about the package.”  With that she says goodbye and walks away.  I thought it was odd and couldn’t  imagine why Susan would have mentioned it.  As soon as I approached the front door I understood why.  The package had been opened and clearly she had seen what I had ordered.  OMG how do I explain this?!  Everything I had ordered looked like something a dancer from a strip club would wear!  After taking some time to figure out how to explain this, I phoned her.    I told her this was not what I had ordered!  She said she was sorry she had opened it but had been expecting a package and just assumed that was her package.  She mumbled something about not really looking at what was inside but I could tell from the package that she had indeed looked at each piece!  We have not spoken since.

People in the lifestyle love to stop and smell the flowers, but what about stopping to smell the lube?

A friend had surgery recently and I went to visit her at home.  They live in the city so finding a place to park was a bit of a challenge.  I finally gave in and parked in a public garage.  When I was leaving, I turned out of the garage and as I drove past her building, I noticed her husband walking toward the entrance.  I honked and he came over to the car to say hello.  He was very excited and held up a bag to show me that he had been shopping.  I pulled over to the curb and he got in the passenger side to show me what he bought.  To cheer up my friend, he had gotten her some sexy lingerie, body powder and some new lube.  He opened the bottle to let me smell it and as I leaned over to smell the bottle of lube someone knocked on my window.  I turn to see a policeman standing there asking me to roll down my window.  Not only was I parked in a fire zone but he wanted to see what we were sniffing.  I imagine he thought it was drugs. Although sniffing lube is legal, it is still pretty embarrassing.    My friend held up the bottle for the policeman to see but he wanted me to hand it over.  I twisted the cap back on and reluctantly  gave him the bottle.  After examining the bottle, he handed it back to me and informed us that public sex was a misdemeanor and suggested we move along!

Sex toys and children don’t mix…

A friend recently returned from a trip to New Orleans where she was visiting a child in college.  She had a wonderful time but since she and her husband spend every weekend at either a lifestyle event or swing club, it was very tame.  After taking her son and his roommate out for dinner, they walked my friend back to the hotel and they were heading out to meet friends.  After waiting a short time to make sure they were gone and she headed out to see Bourbon Street at night.  She stopped at a bar and had a few drinks while mingling with the locals. Soon after, she  decided to take a walk down the street to see what was there.  She passed a shop that sold adult items and she walked in.  Excited to see such interesting toys, she decided to buy a friend an early birthday present:  a giant pink strap on.  They dropped her stuff in a plastic bag and she headed back toward the hotel.  As she was walking though the lobby, her son was talking to the person at the front desk.  She was surprised to see him there and he rushed over to talk to her.  He had left his keys up in her room and needed them to get into his apartment.  They rode back up in the elevator together with his friend and she let them back into her room.  They seemed not to be in a hurry to leave so she sat on the edge of the bed and talked with them for a while.  She had to go to the bathroom so she got up from the bed and when she did, the package slid off the bed and the contents scattered  across the floor.  Needless to say she was mortified as the boys stared down at the pink strap on.  She chuckled and said it was a gag gift for a friend’s birthday.  She still gets upset just thinking about it.

Let’s be honest, sex happens

Although most swingers try very hard to keep the lifestyle a secret, it seems that something always happens to give others a clue that we are not as vanilla as we would like to have them believe.  Every time some embarrassing or revealing situation occurs or someone tells me about something that has happened to them, I wonder if most people don’t have secrets of their own.  I prefer my dog not bring condoms to my parents, but honestly, do they not have anything kinky going on in their life?  My neighbor can’t handle the thought that I would wear such sexy clothing?  Maybe she is using a strap on with her husband.  I don’t know!  For her sake, I hope they are doing something fun in their bedroom!  The policeman thinks lube is risqué?  Really?  With a job like that I’m sure he has seen a whole lot more interesting things than that.  As for my friend’s son, he is in a fraternity.  Need I say more?

At least we are having fun!

One of the reasons I love the lifestyle so much is that we don’t pretend to be so puritanical.  We love sex, we have sex and we talk about sex.  We like to dress sexy and we like to have fun.  It would be impossible to revert to our old ways and I sincerely doubt that anyone in the lifestyle would want to.  Hopefully, in the future, people will loosen up and accept that sex is natural and normal.  I’m not expecting everyone to understand or participate in the lifestyle, I am just hoping that people will be open to the fact that it does exist and the people involved are just having fun with their partners.  It is an open and honest relationship that swingers have and hopefully one day, vanilla people will understand.

Until then, prepare yourself for the next mishap…

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry!  New items arrive often and we are happy to create custom pieces!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

 

 

 

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Swinging can be confusing; if your spouse loves you, why does he want to play with someone else?

Man interested in swinging

 

While at a lifestyle party recently, a woman struck up a conversation with a group of swingers .  She said she was confused by the whole notion of swinging. This couple is very new to the lifestyle and when she asked her husband why he wanted to have sex with someone else, his response was so that he would appreciate being with her.  Her first thought was ‘I guess you don’t appreciate being with me or you would not need to have sex with someone else to appreciate me’.  It upset her because she was concerned about the fact that she was not enough for him and why would he even want to be with someone else if he really loved her.   You could see by the look on several of the women’s faces that this was an age old question for people who were either new to the lifestyle or considering trying it out.

Almost everyone has been raised to believe that we should be monogamous.  We grow up, find a mate, settle down and remain faithful to this one person; till death do us part.  Forever is a long time and for most people, when they take this vow, they truly believe they will never want to be with anyone else.  We can all agree that it is usually with the very best intentions that we enter into these marriages.  Even for couples who are not married, fidelity is expected when you are in an exclusive relationship with someone.

The question is:  how many couples, if they are honest, are happy like this?  This is not to imply that everyone cheats or wants to cheat, rather it is intended to make you question how many people honestly go through life and never think about having sex with someone else? A neighbor, a coworker, the pool boy, a bartender, your doctor, etc.  The truth is, very few people have never thought or fantasized about being with someone else. Even pornography is basically allowing people to engage in fantasies from afar; something to play over in our minds when we have sex with our partner.

How many people are just plain unfaithful in their committed relationships?  Even people who cheat are not always wanting to give up the relationship they have; many are simply looking for something different and exciting in bed.  A happy marriage does not always mean a happy sex life together.  How many times have you heard a woman tell you she was making a mental shopping list while waiting for her partner to finish?  If she was swinging with someone new, chances are she would be concentrating on the man she was with and what they were doing.  Not because she is in love with him, but because it would be new and exciting.

Swinging allows you and your partner to explore your fantasies together.  It permits you the opportunity to have sex with other people without having to cheat  on each other.  When you have sex with different partners, you learn new things.  The most exciting part about this is bringing it back to your spouse to try together.   Swinging allows each partner to partake in things that perhaps their spouse is not open to trying.

For the woman who posed the question above, her husband’s answer was actually more honest than she realizes.  It is not that he loves her any less because he wants to have sex with other women, and it is not that she is not enough for him.  When you have sex for the first time when you swing, you realize that it is purely a physical act; there is no feeling towards the other person.  It is simply something different.  It breaks the routine that you and your partner eventually fall into when having sex.  Sometimes when you play with someone else it is good, and sometimes it is not.  The real treat is when you are back with your spouse!  The routine that was becoming monotonous, is suddenly the best sex you ever have!  When you make love to your partner you feel the difference and appreciate it so much more.  When you swing, you do not make love, you simply have sex.  When you are with your spouse, you make love.  There is a tremendous difference and swinging makes it so much more apparent.  Her spouse will love her more for allowing them to be free from other people’s expectations of what is right and wrong.  When you create your own rules as a couple, it is very liberating.  You become so much closer to each other.  You develop a tremendous amount of love and trust for allowing each other the freedom to explore.

Most importantly for this woman who is new to swinging to remember:  playing with someone else is for the moment.  After that, you are with your husband or partner and that is who you will go home with.  This is the person you will wake up with the next morning, and wait until you see the smile he gives you at breakfast the next morning. This is when you will realize that swinging is not about anyone but the two of you!

Be sure to check out our new pieces of lifestyle jewelry!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

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Is a poor body image keeping you from enjoying ( or entering) the lifestyle?

Body image issues woman wearing Partners ID jewelry

Is a poor body image keeping you from feeling confident in the lifestyle?   Do you worry that having a less than perfect figure will make it hard to find couples who want to swing with you?

The lifestyle poses many challenges to both men and women.    It can be very difficult for someone if they are shy, insecure, become jealous easily and worst of all, if they have a poor self image.  Having a positive self image, especially regarding your body, is crucial if you are planning to swing.  Body image is defined as how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or how you picture yourself in your mind.  Sometimes these perceptions are accurate, but sometimes they are completely distorted and affect how you carry yourself and how you interact with others.  Developing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to a person’s happiness and wellness, and plays a key role to success in the lifestyle.

Swing clubs, parties and hotel takeovers are filled with scantily clad women wearing fishnet dresses, sexy lingerie and exotic mini skirts and dresses which all show a lot of skin.  Many of these women are over the age of 40 and have bodies which indicate as much.  There are women who have beautiful, tight, fit bodies but they are not in the majority.  They are also not always the hottest or the most secure.  It seems that self image plays a much larger role in what makes a woman desirable to both men and other women.  A beautiful, fit woman with poor body image (yes, there are many) seems to be less attractive to others than the overweight woman who is comfortable in her own skin and has an aura of self confidence.  The lifestyle is not about the most attractive person or people, and it is important to remember that everyone is attracted to something different.  A person who is friendly and warm and seems genuinely interested in what you have to say, will be much more attractive to you than someone who is the opposite; regardless of their physical appearance.

Men suffer from the same problem but regarding different aspects of their bodies.  Women tend to be focused on their weight, their breasts and any areas of their bodies they see as imperfect; cellulite on their thighs, a butt that is too large or too small, scars from past surgeries or c sections, etc.  Men tend to be more concerned with their height, their weight, their muscle mass and obviously the size of their penis, as compared with other men.  Interestingly enough, if you were to ask ten men to point out which woman they find most attractive, chances are you would get 6-7 different responses.  For women it would probably be about the same.  Luckily, everyone is attracted to something different.   Imagine if everyone was attracted to the same person!

The lifestyle is supposed to be fun.  When people get too hung up about their bodies and their imperfections it can be a real downer.  Try to remember that swinging is for a short time and if you don’t take advantage of the moment, you will miss it.  Chances are if someone has chosen to swing with you, it is because they think it will be enjoyable.  If you cannot relax and savor the moment, you are not only wasting your night but the night of the person who is trying to have fun with you.  I sincerely doubt that while your partner for the evening is playing with you he is thinking about your thighs.  If, however, you are showing your insecurities regarding your thighs, he probably will look at them to decide if you are right.   When a woman is with a man who is less endowed than most, she will only care if it keeps him from being able to enjoy himself.  If he steps up and shows her he is confident with himself, she knows it will be a fun night regardless of his size.

When everyone in the back room is naked and you appear with something covering you, whether it’s a towel or some garment wrapped around your mid section, chances are everyone will notice you because you are different.   If you step into the play area with nothing but a smile, people will admire your confidence and appreciate that about you.  If you are open to people they will look to join you, it’s that simple.  Big thighs, sagging boobs, cellulite and all, if you show people that you are ok with yourself, they will be ok with you.

Swing clubs, parties and take overs can be fun and exciting.  People come out to party and have a good time.  When you meet people, if they seem friendly and self confident you are drawn to them.  If, on the other hand, you meet people who are shy and withdrawn, chances are you will move on to another couple.  It really is ok if you don’t think you are perfect because guess what?  Pretty much everyone else has the same insecurities that you have, the only difference is that they refuse to let it ruin their night!

 

Remeber to check out our lifestyle jewelry!  New items are offered frequently and we are happy to take custom orders.

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

 

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Are there any swingers in Hong Kong? The answer is yes, just ask this couple.

 

 

Couple living in Hong Kong wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

Dear Partners ID,

Nǐmén hǎo! This is hello in Cantonese. We are Lidia and Sam and we live in Hong Kong. We had to move for business a few years ago. We moved from California almost 2 years ago when my husband was offered a job he couldn’t turn down.

We have been in the lifestyle for the past 10 years and one of the hardest things about this move was leaving our friends. As you know, lifestyle friends are very special and we couldn’t wrap our minds around having to say good bye.

One of the first things we did after getting settled into our new home was to try to discover if swinging was popular in our area. Although we did see quite a few listings for swing clubs, we were nervous to take this route. My husband was new to the company and the last thing he wanted, was to run into someone he worked with.

We did take a chance online to try to meet others for an evening of play but that was not working out so well. After a few months we were getting antsy and very much wanted to play!

I had heard about your jewelry when we were still living in California and decided to order a few pieces for us to try. I purchased a necklace for my husband and a bracelet for myself and waited for them to arrive. I wasn’t really sure that anyone in Hong Kong would actually know what it meant but figured it couldn’t hurt!

I wear my bracelet most of the time but my husband prefers to wear his only when we go out socially. We went for dinner at a trendy restaurant one evening and when we were walking to our table, a woman grabbed my arm as we passed by. I looked down and she was holding a purse with your pendant on it! I was shocked! I never thought it would be this easy! They were with another couple and said they would stop at our table before they left.

Although this particular couple is not our style to play with, they are nice people who have helped us to navigate the lifestyle! They gave us all the information that we needed to meet other swingers and told us which clubs were the best in the area.

This was a few weeks ago and we have been invited to a party (through this couple) that we will attend this weekend. We just wanted to let you know that people in Hong Kong know the jewelry and it is pretty popular here!

Thank you! You really helped us!

Hugs and kisses,

Lidia and Sam

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