Whatever the case, if you are one of those “shy” people, perhaps this is the perfect time for you to take advantage and go after what you want! There are women in the lifestyle who always wear a wig when they are at a lifestyle event. They claim they have more confidence because people do not recognize them and they like it that way. Costumes are also a good conversation starter. Complimenting others on how clever they are or how perfect their costume, makes it easy to open the dialogue. Once you have begun a conversation it is easy to introduce yourselves and ask the other couple questions about themselves.
Swingers have a reputation for being degenerates. People don’t have a very high opinion of swingers. Perhaps people are afraid of what they don’t understand.
It would surprise many vanilla people to realize that they already know people who swing. In fact, it would shock them, to know which ones they are. Chances are, the real swingers would not even make the list of suspects.
Prior to entering the lifestyle, I tried to imagine who I might bump into if we went to a swing club. I was certain that there would be people I know simply because of the proximity of the club to our home. Finally, we did work up the courage to go. Although we knew a handful of people at the club, not one was someone I would have suspected! In fact, there were a few couples I never imagined I would see at a swing club.
I had heard rumors about a certain neighborhood close to my own where swingers were rampant. Supposedly, there was a key club that existed and new members had to be approved in order to join. The group met at a popular restaurant-bar on Thursday evenings to choose new members. Having gone to that restaurant on many Thursday nights to observe, I was certain that these were the people I would see at the club.
Thankfully, I was wrong. The couples at the bar were not the type of people I wanted to spend time with. They were all loud, obnoxious, and very sure of themselves. Were they actually there to join a key club? I’m not so sure. It’s very possible that people came to this conclusion because they were all very drunk and dressed provocatively.
The interesting thing about “real” swingers, is that they are often the last people you would suspect. Many are sexy, full of life, and confident in the lifestyle but reserved and quite ordinary in their daily lives. Swingers frequently laugh about how others think of them as leading boring, conservative lives. Even when others ask what they did that weekend, and they say outrageous things. “Oh, I watched my wife screw 2 guys while I had 2 girls for myself at our home.” Friends laugh at them and say things like, “Yeah right,” or “You wish!”
Swingers are frequently forced to endure nasty and uneducated comments regarding swingers and the lifestyle. At times, vanilla couples throw out comments about how disgusting swinging is and how people who swing are pathetic. They are certain that swingers are in bad marriages and looking to have sex with anyone but their own spouses. It can be very difficult to bite your tongue when people are talking about you. You know the truth about swinging, but most of us choose to remain silent or nod in agreement while feeling angry inside.
Even when swingers attempt to defend the lifestyle while feigning innocence, vanilla couples can be difficult to convince. It often leaves me wondering if they are angry. Perhaps they would like to be brave enough to try swinging and their spouse is against it. Maybe they are interested but not sure if they could handle it. Why else would vanilla people bring up the subject?
These kinds of situations often reinforce the need for swingers to distance themselves from the vanilla community. Discrimination is difficult for anyone to handle, especially when you are hiding the truth to protect yourself. It is hard to not want to educate every person who makes degrading remarks regarding swingers.
Often times, vanilla couples bring up the subject of swinging. Perhaps they are actually interested in swinging but don’t know how to approach the subject. Although they act like it is something that repulses them, it is in fact done defensively. Many couples have discussed it but want to see how others feel about it. The fear is that if they speak of it in a positive or curious light, others will suspect they are swingers. My suggestion for these couples would be to investigate swinging on your own. Chances are your vanilla friends are not on the same page.
Until swinging becomes more mainstream, we will have to continue with our sarcastic comments and innuendos. When packed for a lifestyle cruise with a small carry on for one week at sea and someone asks, we will continue to say it’s a lifestyle cruise and we don’t need clothing. When coworkers ask what we did over the weekend we will keep on describing the orgies we participated in while listening to them snicker. We will keep on listening to friends tell us we need to get out more that our lives are so boring that if we were a tv show it would be canceled. When friends inform us that sex was meant to be fun when we were younger, we will remember to tell them that we had sex outside the front door last night because we couldn’t wait to get inside.
Although it can be difficult to keep such a large part of our lives a secret, for most swingers, it must be done. Until society understands the lifestyle and accepts swinging, people run the risk of discrimination. Best to keep a sense of humor about it and feel sorry for those who are missing out. It stands to reason that it is just a matter of time before swinging becomes mainstream.
We get a lot of emails from our customers, which we truly appreciate! We obviously cannot publish every letter we receive but this couple asked us to share their story:
Hello Partners ID!
First of all I want to say that my wife and I have been fans of your company since we first heard about you. As I am sure many others did when they learned of your company, we wondered why it took this long for someone to actually develop a symbol strictly for swingers. It seems like a no-brainer yet nobody has ever done it before so, bravo to you!
We purchased a couple of necklaces a few months ago, which we love, and put them on our necks. About 3 weeks after we started to wear them we were traveling to see my wife’s parents down south. We do not like to stay with them so we checked into a hotel not far from where they live. The first night we arrived late so we decided rather than disturbing them we would just grab a bite somewhere near the hotel and wait until morning to see them. The concierge at the hotel recommended a bar within walking distance of the hotel, so off we went for dinner.
The place had a decent crowd so we figured the food must be good. My wife and I waited at the bar for a table, and soon the hostess came to get us. The hostess told us that it would be no problem to just put the bar tab on our food bill. With that, we followed her to the table. A few minutes after sitting down, the hostess came back to our table to inform us that a couple at the bar had paid our bar tab. We were shocked because we did not know anyone there and we don’t live nearby. She then pointed to an attractive couple sitting across the bar from where we were sitting. The hostess then handed me a piece of a napkin which was folded in half. The note was from the couple, it read, “We love your necklaces.”
We couldn’t believe it! WOW! We waved them over to the table and the rest is history! We had a wonderful night with them and have been in touch ever since. They are planning to come and stay with us soon and we are really looking forward to that!
So again, Bravo! Well done! We really weren’t sure we would ever find someone with the jewelry but we did! The funny thing is, the other couple did not have the jewelry but they knew what it was. As you know, we just purchased 2 necklaces and are planning to surprise them with the jewelry when they come to visit.
Thank you again Partners ID!
David and Vicki
North Potomac, MD
Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. As a rule, when it comes to swinging, it is no different.
Swinging is something people do for enjoyment. Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun. If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenage children.
The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night. You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time. Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.
A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks, and heading into a play area. Next, you try to find another couple (or single). Ideally, everybody plays, everybody is happy, and you leave. That’s not so hard, right?
For many couples it is simple. They have conversations about what works for the both of them. Usually, the problems begin when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.
So what causes drama in the lifestyle? Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong? Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:
1. Someone is too drunk to play.
2. One member of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3. The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4. One member of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5. The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6. One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7. They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8. One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9. One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10. One gets upset and leaves during play.
Not surprisingly, when couples find themselves in situations such as these, it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.
With this in mind, how can you avoid ending up with couples who create drama? Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance. Couples are not always upfront and honest regarding what they will and will not participate in. Not to mention the couples who say they are full swap and ready to play, and they are not.
To begin with, couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with. If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront. Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well. Besides, couples who cause drama eventually develop a reputation as such.
Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun. Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment. If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.
The bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…
If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
It seems that while we are in the thick of the pandemic, many swingers are still looking to play. With swing clubs and lifestyle resorts closed (for the most part), some swingers are opting to find fun on their own. This story reminds us of the danger of trusting strangers.*
Swingers like to have a good time but sometimes in their quest for the next great adventure, they might forget to think about their own safety. This is an email we received from a woman who wanted to share her story about having sex with a total stranger. (We struggled with whether or not to post this but decided it is a story worth reading). Although some people might argue that swingers in swing clubs and at lifestyle events are strangers, they really are not. Every club requires a membership which means everyone must register with their driver’s license, among other things. Even private parties do not usually include complete strangers. Most form a guestlist through swinger dating sites, which also have memberships.
No matter where or with whom you choose to swing, it is always important to use common sense. It is no different if you are single and dating, you must make sure to think about your safety at all times. Although the fantasy of sex with strangers turns some people on, the reality is not always what you might expect.
This is the email we received from a woman; we are glad to hear she is ok:
Rob and I were out of town and having drinks at a local bar. We met this really hot guy and decided I should flirt with him to see if maybe he would come back to our room and have sex with me while Rob watched. He was so big and muscular, exactly my type. I approached him and he was flirting back. I pointed to my husband and told him we are swingers and my husband would only want to watch. He seemed a little apprehensive at first but he soon agreed and followed us to the hotel.
We went upstairs and had a drink to help make him feel more comfortable. My husband sat in a chair across the room and gave us the sign to go ahead and forget he was there. The guy was really hot and things moved really fast. He tried to enter me without a condom but Rob was very vocal about that not happening and handed the guy a condom. He slipped it on and was really turned on. I glanced across the room to Rob, and he was sitting with his pants around his ankles.
I was having a great time when the guy flipped me over. At first, I thought he was just going to do me from behind but he was trying for anal. Although I tried to stop him, he was becoming very aggressive. Before I knew it, he was totally inside and it was very painful. I was telling him to stop and Rob got up from the chair to approach us. The guy turned around and told Rob to “sit the fuck down”. At this point, I realized we were in a bad spot. It was like being raped while my husband was trying to talk him down. He was no physical match for this guy and we both knew it. Long story short, he finished, got dressed, and left. To make matters worse, his condom was not on when he pulled out. First I thought it slipped off inside me but I saw it on the floor and it was not used.
I know there are many couples out there who like to pick up strangers for a night of wild sex but after this experience, I realize how incredibly stupid it is. The truth is, I feel lucky that nothing worse had happened. He could have robbed us or killed us, we were so vulnerable. I have been tested for STDs and thankfully I am clean.
From now on, we will stick with swinging at our local club where there is security to prevent this type of situation. It is not safe to put yourself in a situation like this with a total stranger. I have nightmares almost every night, reliving this terrifying evening.
Sorry to bring such a terrible thing to swingers but I want people to realize that although picking up strangers sounds like fun, it is not worth the possible consequences.
Thanks for listening!
J.R and R.R
*We at Partners ID do not condone playing at this time. This was sent to us several years ago. Please stay safe!
Let’s talk about vaginas, shall we? It is something people rarely mention…
Vaginas are an integral part of our sex lives yet just saying the word seems to make people uncomfortable. To test out this theory it seemed natural to talk with a group of swingers. Swingers are such a great resource when sex is the topic. They are not afraid to be open and candid. If you want to know something that you have never been comfortable asking regarding sex, ask a swinger. They might not have all the answers, but they will certainly give you any information they can! Why then, when they hear the word vagina, do even swingers giggle?
So what’s the deal with vaginas?
Just the word vagina makes people shy away. A Michigan lawmaker was banned from speaking in her state’s House of Representatives because she said the word “vagina.” Really?! Is the vagina not simply a female body part? Should she have called it a va jay jay? How about pussy or snatch? Better?
How about the tampon commercials? They are obviously dealing directly with vaginas yet they never once use the word. How is this possible? If you watch carefully, they don’t even make mention of the female genitalia; not even a “down there” reference. What’s up with that?
It makes people giggle and look at you like you are drunk when you say the word vagina.
There are so many nicknames for the vagina that this should be a red flag right there! I have heard everything from penis snuggie to tuna taco to honey pot, and those are some of the nicer ones. There are actually lists of names on the internet. Here are a few sites I found:
Not even swingers are comfortable using the word?
I asked a group of female swingers if they ever use the word in general. Whether while talking about sex or even with their gynecologist. Ready for this? They all answered no, it’s not a word they feel comfortable using. Really? Even for swingers? I asked if they were having a problem with their vagina, how they would refer to it while speaking with their doctor? The most common answer: “down there.” One said she had actually said va jay jay to her doctor. I asked if he laughed and she said no.
Why do we need to use other words to describe it?
Is there a problem with the word vagina? Maybe we should consider simply changing the name to something that doesn’t make people so uncomfortable. Even after reading through some pretty ridiculous, yet hilarious names, I’m not sure what would be better: Cooch? Hooha? Snatch?
Is it the actual name of the organ that causes so much discomfort or is it the organ itself?
Men seem to take great pride in the fact that they have a penis. We see that from an early age and it seems to stay with them for their entire lives. Even as little boys, we see them touching it and playing with it as soon as they become aware of it. It’s rare that men shy away from an opportunity to take it out and show it off.
Why is it different for women? Is it the way we are brought up? Almost as if we are taught that it is something to be ashamed of? Why should something that is part of our sexual makeup, something that can make us feel so good, make us feel so ashamed?
Maybe it is time we give vaginas a break. They do an awful lot for us! It’s time we stopped being embarrassed by them and started giving them the respect they deserve! I am even willing to bet that after reading the word vagina this many times, you are feeling slightest more comfortable with it. Right?
Are people still afraid to let others know that they are in the lifestyle?
Why do swingers feel the need to keep their lifestyle a secret? I frequently hear swingers say that nobody knows that they are in the lifestyle. They would die if someone found out. Why is that? What do people think when they hear someone they know is a swinger? It reminds me of the time before I had ever had sex. I couldn’t imagine how you could face the person you had sex with afterward. What would they think after they had seen you in such a compromising way? How would others see you? Obviously I discovered that these fears were unfounded. Nobody seemed to look at me any differently, and facing the guy who I was with was no problem. So what is it that makes us fear discovery?
What is it that swingers fear about exposure?
Curiosity got the best of me and so I started to ask swingers. I asked a group of swingers if they are very religious, but they are not. I wondered if their children were at an age that it would create confusion and uncertainty, but they are not. Do they think they are doing something criminal or unethical? They do not. Hmm. Would exposure embarrass them? This question got a nod. Embarrassed? Why? In truth, swingers are doing something that most people wish they could do. They have sex with others and it doesn’t destroy their marriage. Why? Because two consenting adults have agreed to enter into this together. There are no lies or secrets.
Would friends and family alienate you if they found out you were having an affair?
Admitting that you are a swinger should be a lot less traumatic than admitting you are having an affair, no? After all, one is cheating and lying to someone you say you are in love with, the other is not. Cheaters sneak around, worrying that they will be caught. Getting caught would disrupt their lives and the lives of those around them. Swingers, on the other hand, are out having a great time together. They are out enjoying parties and events with their significant other. This is something that others only dream of.
I wonder how many swingers are truly living this lifestyle unbeknownst to their friends and family. Probably not nearly as many as believe they are. Often times I watch swingers arrive at a club clad in an oversized trench coat in the middle of the summer. When I ask these women if their family or neighbors don’t find this strange they say they don’t think so. Really? It’s 90 degrees outside and you leave your house or condo wearing a trench coat cinched at the waist with stiletto heels and nobody thinks that’s odd?
What happens to couples who come clean about the lifestyle?
Many swingers have said that when they finally decided to disclose to friends and family that they were swingers, many were not surprised. Many said they had known about it for years but understood the swinger couple wanted to keep it to themselves. (If these were the trench coat women, it’s no wonder people knew.)
What about the family and friends who did not suspect this person or couple was in the lifestyle? What was their reaction? Were they shocked and appalled? Not according to the people I have spoken with. Most said that more than anything, they were curious about swinging. They asked a lot of questions but did not seem to have a negative reaction. Many couples said that both friends and many family members (mostly siblings), eventually asked if they could tag along one night to see what it was all about.
Stop apologizing for your lifestyle choices; it’s your life and your decision to make.
Like any other group, in order to gain acceptance, we must learn to stand up for what we believe in. Swingers should not be ashamed of their lifestyle. Obviously it is not necessary to divulge what you do when you are at a swing club, or party, or another event. Most people do not give blow by blow (pun intended) details to others about what they do in their bedrooms. No need to reveal that you participated in a gang bang with 15+ men last Saturday. Nobody needs to know that you tried double penetration for the first time and loved it. Many swingers don’t swap, and many people in the lifestyle are not swingers. Enjoying the warm atmosphere that accompanies the lifestyle is a wonderful thing and people should not have to hide from it.
Why do people find it acceptable to learn that many famous couples are swingers? Why are they held to a different standard than the rest of us. Because they are famous? Some are highly influential people and they do not deny that they are swingers. Famous people frequently answer questions about their lifestyle and seem quite comfortable doing so.
What does wearing lifestyle jewelry actually say about you?
Wearing our jewelry means that you are open-minded. If you think about it, being a part of the lifestyle really doesn’t mean more than that. If your children or parents told you the same thing, would it concern you? Although it might surprise you, you would be happy to see them happy.
When we initially came up with the concept for the jewelry, we had just this vision in mind. Wear the jewelry with pride. First of all, others do not know what it means. Secondly, even if they did, what does it really say about you? It says that you are an open-minded person.
Let’s continue the movement to unite the lifestyle. People in the lifestyle could really teach others a lot about relationships. Honesty, respect and fun are the three hallmarks of the lifestyle. What could be better than that?
To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/page/2/
Hi Partners ID!
This coronavirus has really made everything lifestyle related very difficult. We were planning to be on a lifestyle cruise in March but that was canceled. April was filled with plans for private hotel parties and get-togethers with friends but obviously these plans were all canceled.
While my boyfriend and I are enjoying the time at home, we do miss our lifestyle friends. We have enjoyed a few zoom parties and virtual sex with friends but let’s face it, it’s not the same. It is impossible to duplicate the feeling of meeting up with our friends, both old and new, for lifestyle-related fun.
Out of boredom the other day, I took a face mask and applied a tattoo that we received as a gift when we purchased jewelry from you. My boyfriend loved it and so I made one for him as well. We took pictures of ourselves and decided we had to wear them when we went out food shopping.
It became obvious at the grocery store that nobody was paying any attention to me. They would not see the symbol on my mask because people were mainly concerned with keeping their distance from each other. We both wore our masks with the symbol each time we went out but it always seemed that people were more interested in avoiding other people than connecting.
Somehow, it always seems when you least expect it, someone seems to notice! My dog wasn’t feeling well so I ran her over to see our vet. Their office is very large so they simply ask the customers to social distance in the waiting room. I was watching tv when a woman sitting across from me waved to get my attention. As I looked up she pointed to my mask and told me she loved it and wanted to buy one. Unsure if she really knew the meaning or liked the decoration I laughed. She told me she was serious that she had a necklace with that pendant and then I knew.
Honestly, I never expected anyone to know what the symbol meant but clearly I was wrong! She gave me her phone number and I promised to make one for her. How fun that we met this other couple from the mask! Maybe you should consider selling masks!
I thought you would enjoy this!
Cathy and Keith
To see our lifestyle jewelry and tattoos, visit us here: www.swingerjewelry.net/shop
An email we received from a customer:
Dear Partners ID,
My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have children who are now living on their own and we both have careers that keep us busy. One evening after dinner, we settled into our typical nightly routine of watching tv on the couch. We talked about the upcoming weekend and who we wanted to go out with. I was shocked when my husband told me he couldn’t stand how routine our lives had become. We work all week, have dinner at home and on weekends go out to dinner or a movie with basically the same couples. He was afraid that our lives, now that our children were grown, would remain like this forever. The thought of it made him sad.
Honestly, it was the first time I had ever thought about it, but I realized he was right. There was nothing to look forward to anymore; every week was the same.
That night I couldn’t sleep so I went on the computer to try to research what else couples at our stage of life were doing for fun. I came across a blog written by Penny which directed me to your website. At first, I was chuckling to myself about the prospect of Joe and myself as swingers, but as I read more blogs I started to realize that it really was about so much more than sex.
I started to research what exactly the swinging lifestyle entailed and thought it was worth mentioning to Joe. Never in a million years could I have imagined something like this, but I must admit, I was very curious.
When I initially mentioned it to Joe over coffee in the morning he thought I was insane. He, too, laughed at the thought.
For the first time in I don’t know how many years, he sent me a text and asked if we could meet for lunch. He told me he couldn’t get the thought out of this out of his mind and was excited that it was something I had an interest in. We had no idea how to go about the whole thing so I came back to your website to see what I could find.
It didn’t take long to find articles I needed to get started. We did some research online regarding local swing clubs and also spent some time looking at swinger dating sites. I will tell you that our sex life changed that very first night that we started to think about it! It was like something sparked inside both of us and we were alive and excited about what was to come!
Fast forward one year and our lives have changed dramatically. It has been years since my husband and I have been this happy and connected. We look forward to our weekends with our new lifestyle friends and all the adventures! Each weekend we now go to parties and swing clubs and have booked a lifestyle cruise for the fall! Of course, we both wear your jewelry (proudly) and wanted to thank you for helping us find what we never knew we were looking for!
The friends that we used to spend every weekend with have noticed the difference in us but we don’t dare tell them what we are up to! We both work out several days a week and look younger and more fit than we have in years. Even our children see the change!
One of the biggest benefits of this lifestyle is the friends we have made. We are closer to them than any of the friends we have had in the past. We travel with them, meet them at clubs and even have sleepovers! What fun!
Thank you for opening our eyes to a wonderful new world! Your blogs are wonderfully honest and informative and your jewelry is beautiful! We wish you all the happiness that we have found!
Debbie and Joe
Looking for our lifestyle jewelry? Simply click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/