Jealousy; why do some people suffer with this while others seem immune?

Jealous woman
Jealous woman sitting at bar with her husband flirting in the background

 

What is jealousy?

According to dictionary.com, jealousy is defined as the following:

1.jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself.
2.mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.
3.vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
4.a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.

 

Are some people more prone to feeling jealous?

It certainly seems that some people really struggle with jealousy issues, while others seem immune. The lifestyle is absolutely an environment where jealousy can really come into play. Perhaps the ability to control or avoid jealousy stems from our upbringing. When parents teach their children not to compare themselves with others, this is a healthy way to teach self confidence.

Teaching children to treat others in a way they would like to be treated can also go a long way in helping. If children are taught to understand that their kindness and empathy for others is important, they will learn to practice this. When people grow up with the understanding that they should follow the “Golden Rule”: ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you,’ it goes a long way to understanding how to treat others.

 

Why do some people have such issues with this? Is it because they don’t feel good about themselves?

Why is it that some people have no problem with jealousy, while others really suffer with this? Although we tend to think jealousy stems from a lack of self confidence, in fact, it really has little to do with this. Jealousy usually occurs when you do not have confidence in the other person. If your partner thinks about his or herself first, this can become a problem. If your partner, on the other hand, always seems to consider how you are feeling, it goes a long way to making you feel relaxed and secure. Even for those who struggle with low self esteem, if your partner is always complimenting you and making you feel good about yourself, you will eventually come to trust that your partner feels attracted to you. Swinging can bring up serious issues about insecurity. If your partner gives you the confidence to feel good about yourself, this will go a long way in helping to curb any jealous feelings.

 

Communication between a couple will go along way to helping to avoid any jealous feelings.

The lifestyle is obviously not for everyone. Couples who choose to swing must have a very solid relationship. Couples who have this strong bond are very open with each other about what works for them and what does not. Communication is key to success in the lifestyle. If one partner has any doubts about why their partner wants to swing, this could lead to disaster. Before attempting to swing, couples should discuss what they are comfortable with. If one person is afraid they might feel jealous, the couple should address this ahead of time to try to understand why. They should then figure out how to eliminate any doubts from the person’s mind about the reasons their partner wants to swing. The jealous partner will never be the one to seek out the lifestyle; they will be the one who goes along.

 

Does it mean that you love a person more if seeing them with someone else makes you jealous?

Actually, it has nothing to do with that. Jealousy can become a problem for anyone if they do not trust their partner. It does not matter if you are a swinger or not. If your partner does not make you feel secure, jealousy is the result. You begin to question their motives, especially in the lifestyle.

 

How can we learn to either avoid it or eliminate jealous feelings?

When you are a swinger, if your partner always consults with you regarding what you would like or who you would like to play with, there would be no reason to feel jealous. If your partner keeps checking in to make sure you are happy and comfortable, you feel they care about you. How could you feel jealous when someone makes you a priority?

When you take the attitude that what is good for you, is good for your partner, it helps keep you balanced. If you want your partner to treat you a certain way, you should first treat your partner that way. It starts at the very beginning of any evening. When you take time to get dressed and look your best, if your partner says nothing, you wonder if maybe you don’t look great. You start to second guess your hair, what you are wearing, etc. If, on the other hand, your partner takes notice and tells you how nice you look, the night will start off on a better note.

If your partner grabs your hand while you are talking to other couples, it makes you feel united. When they pay you a compliment in front of others, it also makes you feel special. Going that little extra distance will make any partner feel special and important. Imagine if everyone took a moment out of their night to tune in to the person they are with to let them know how special they are. Maybe an unexpected kiss or touch; it goes a long way to making your partner feel loved. When you feel loved and secure, there is never a reason to feel jealous.

Communicating the reason you swing to your partner will also help to avoid jealous feelings. When you remind them that they are your priority, it helps them to accept seeing you play with someone else. When you take the time to tell you partner that swinging is for the moment, that they are your partner and you will go home together, it makes a big difference. When you are playing with someone else, a simple touch or kiss with your partner reminds them that you are there for them all the time. It tells them that even though you are playing with someone else, they are still thinking about you.

 

Can we learn to turn off jealous feelings?

If a couple takes the time to practice these tips, there should be no reason for anyone to feel jealous. Just remember, the next time you want to leer at someone you are interested in or disregard your partner’s lack of desire to play with another couple that you are not thinking about them. If one person is always thinking about themselves, jealousy will come into play for their partner.

Always remember that what is good for you, is good for your partner. If you treat your partner in a way that is respectful and loving, you give them no reason to feel jealous. It’s that simple.

A lifestyle story from a swinger that is sure to make you cringe!

Naked woman in the lifestyle wearing Partners ID jewelry
Naked woman in the lifestyle wearing Partners ID jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

I read the story about the couple from New York who walked in half naked to their own surprise party and it brought back memories of our own nightmare. I think this story is at least as cringe worthy.

My husband and I had been in the lifestyle for about 5 years. We spent at least two days a week at the swing club near our home (about 20 miles), and were very comfortable there. The club was not large but it did attract a good crowd most nights.

We were heavy into swinging and went into the playroom almost every night we were in the club. Spending this much time in this club, we knew most of the people who came to the club and some of us were very friendly.

It was Halloween and for this club, it was always a very busy night. It was rare to see someone come to this club and not wear a costume. Some people were so dressed up, we could not tell who they were.

This particular night, a couple that we were very close with was in the club. My husband took the woman to dance and I walked over to a couch with the woman’s husband. We immediately started to kiss and fondle each other and things got hot quickly. He bent me over the side of the couch, lifted my costume and started to lick my pussy from behind.  Soon I could feel an extra set of hands caressing my breasts. I figured it was either my husband or the man who was nearby when we sat down on the couch. Before I knew it, the man is rubbing my clit while the other guy is eating me out and I have a very intense orgasm. I turned to kiss the man to say thank you for joining in when I realized who he was. It was my sister’s husband! My brother in law! OMG!

Needless to say I was completely shocked and traumatized! Our costumes made it difficult to see our faces so neither of us realized until after the fact.

Today the four of us laugh about it and my husband and sister are always joking that it is their turn.

By the way, I love the necklace you custom made for me, it’s perfect!

Kisses!
Dina and Joe
Swingers from Atlanta, GA

If you are looking for the perfect holiday gift, now is the time to order custom made lifestyle jewelry!  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Rock stars are in the lifestyle too; here is a customer’s story.

Rock star wearing Partners ID necklace
Rock star wearing Partners ID necklace

Dear Partners ID,

This is a quickie that we think you’ll enjoy. My hubby and I have been in the lifestyle for over 4 years. We have met many couples in our everyday life over the years that we have wondered about but never came right out and asked. We have tried many times to “discover” which one of our friends or neighbors might be swingers through conversations but it never led to a confession from any of them.

We have your jewelry and love both the design and the concept. We went to a concert one night with friends of ours and were very excited because we had second-row seats. During the concert, I realized the lead guitarist was wearing your jewelry! I couldn’t believe it! I tried several times to catch his attention to point to my own necklace but I wasn’t sure if he could see us with all the lights. Finally, the lights went down for a solo so I took out my phone and used the flashlight to shine on my necklace. It took awhile but he finally spotted us and gave us the thumbs up. Of course, my friend was watching and she was very curious. I told her I’d tell her later (really having no clue what I would say).

At the encore performance, a security guard came over to us and handed us a note. It was from the lead guitarist! He asked us to come backstage after the concert! It was like I was dreaming. Now I really had to say something to my friends because they would have to come with us.

We told them the necklace is a symbol of being open-minded. We got it when we went to Jamaica because we thought it was a cool concept. Right there, they were like, “OMG you went to Hedo!”

Turns out, they are pretty new to the lifestyle but have had some experiences with people they know. They were interested in going to Hedonism and had read about it online. They also said they had wondered about us as possible swingers!

Anyway, we met the guitarist who was super nice and very cool. We hung out with him for a bit and we exchanged emails. It was incredibly surreal to be backstage with a well-known band!
Oh, and I did kiss his wife…

Long story short, we bought our friends some jewelry for the holidays and we have since discovered there is a swing club not too far from where we live. We are planning for all 4 of us to go next weekend.

Thanks for the jewelry! It’s such a great idea and it really does work!

Kisses!
Brittany and Joe

Marietta, GA

Halloween in the lifestyle; why wearing a costume could help make your night the best ever!

Sexy swinger dressed for Halloween with Partners ID necklace
Sexy swinger dressed for Halloween with Partners ID necklace

Boo!

Halloween will be here before you know it!  What are you planning to dress up as this year?  A policeman, Little Red Ridinghood maybe a schoolgirl?

People frequently ask us what we will be dressed as for Halloween.  Naturally, our answer is always the same; swingers of course!  No, we are not party poopers and we have come up with some pretty clever costume ideas over the years.  What we have noticed, is that there are many people who take this opportunity to dress up in a way that makes them unrecognizable to others.  We believe that there is a reason they do this.
Some people in the lifestyle are extremely outgoing and have no problem approaching other couples.  Every chance they get, they mingle and flirt and generally know most of the people at any party by the end of the evening.  Then there are others who are too shy or insecure to approach other couples.  This makes Halloween the perfect opportunity for them to come out of their shells by hiding behind a costume.
Think about it, if you are wearing a mask and people cannot identify you, do you not feel bolder?   If you approach a couple and you are wearing a mask, chances are they will be very friendly because they are not sure whether or not they know you.  This is exactly what we have observed occurring every Halloween.  There are always a few couples wearing the kind of costume that makes it impossible to guess who they are.  It is very possible that some of these masked guests are new to the lifestyle. They are taking the opportunity to visit a swing club and remain anonymous.

Whatever the case, if you are one of those “shy” people, perhaps this is the perfect time for you to take advantage and go after what you want!  There are women in the lifestyle who always wear a wig when they are at a lifestyle event.  They claim they have more confidence because people do not recognize them and they like it that way.  Costumes are also a good conversation starter.  Complimenting others on how clever they are or how perfect their costume, makes it easy to open the dialogue.  Once you have begun a conversation it is easy to introduce yourselves and ask the other couple questions about themselves.

 The other fascinating part of dressing up for Halloween is noticing costume choices.  I cannot help but observe that some of the quieter more shy couples take advantage of this holiday by wearing outrageous costumes.  Some choose very provocative, sexy costumes.  Many of the timid girls tend to go for the slutty look and the men frequently focus on calling attention to their genitals in one way or another.  It always makes me wonder if they wish they could be more sexually open on regular lifestyle nights.
Even the play areas during Halloween seem busier than usual.  Many couples keep their masks on, and again, seem more determined than usual, to go after what they what.  Somehow, the use of masks in the play area is reminiscent of the movie Eyes Wide Shut ( a 1999 erotic drama film) starring Tom Cruise.
Whatever the case may be, whatever your costume of choice, tonight is the night to be bold and go for what you want.  Costumes allow us all the freedom to be someone else for an evening.  What could be more liberating than that?
Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry so even though others might not recognize you, they will recognize your jewelry!  Find it here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net

Our jewelry helps a couple in France discover something exciting!

French couple wearing Partners ID jewelry on the beach
French couple wearing Partners ID jewelry on the beach

We love hearing from everyone all around the world about their successes wearing the jewelry. This is a letter we received from a customer about her experience with the jewelry.  It was written both in English and French and we included our response in both English and French underneath. Keep the emails coming!

Salut Partners ID,

I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know how well the jewelry works! Such a simple concept with such a great result!

I was born and raised in America, but after college I met a man and moved to the south of France with him. We lived there for 15 years. Part of my initial attraction to him was the sexual chemistry that we had (and of course his sexy French accent). It was intense and lasted quite awhile but something was always missing.

We always spend several weeks each summer at Cap D’agde (a very popular nudist and swinger village), and we always have a good time.  We spend our days naked on the beach, drink cocktails at sundown, have dinner and hit the clubs. We play mostly together, which is fine by me, but still something was missing (in my life).

It was during our last trip to Cap D’agde that we discovered your jewelry. We had seen many other couples wearing it and decided to buy pieces for ourselves. The very day I slipped on the necklace, I was alone at the beach when a woman approached me. She, too, was wearing your necklace so I knew that she was a swinger. She introduced herself and sat on the edge of my blanket. As we talked, she gently touched my leg. It was like an electric shock ran through me. She could immediately sense my response as my erect nipples were hard to hide. We sat and talked for about an hour and agreed to meet with our husbands later on at a club.

As I lay in the sun on the beach I considered my response to her touch. I had never played with another woman but the very thought of it made me extremely horny. One of the things I most enjoyed about the American club we had visited was watching women play together.  It is not as common here and I always found it a turn on.   I packed up my beach gear and rushed back to the room to talk with my husband. I told him about the beach and he laughed. We have a very open marriage and he was happy at the thought of seeing me play with another woman. We had been swinging for years but I never really had the opportunity to play with another woman.

Needless to say, that evening was the most memorable of my entire adult life. I realized that what was missing from my life was another woman! I didn’t realize that I was bisexual before. We were able to get together a few times before she left to go home to Germany and she promised to look us up when she came to the states.

Had I not been wearing the jewelry, this would never have happened. It has opened a door for me that might never have been opened, and I am grateful that this happened!

The jewelry is really beautiful and very easy to spot! As I mentioned, it is quite popular in France and now that we are back home in the states, we plan to wear it all the time.

Merci et bisous à vous!

Danielle y Marcel

Cher Danielle y Marcel,

Merci sincerement ,a tout ceux et celles qui prennent le temps de nous partager leurs enthousiasmes ,concernant notre creation de bijous libertin.Nous sommes tres fier du resultat positif ,car seulement après 2 ans de lancement ,nous recevons continuellement des temoignages encourageants comme les votres a cette effet et ce de partout dans le monde ,aussi loin que de l Australie a Dubail,du Japon a l Afrique Du Sud,d Israel passant par l Europe juste qu en Amerique du Nord ainsi que d Argentine aux Indes.Nous apprecions grandement vos commantaire ,qui nous aident a amiliorer de jour en jour, nos produits destines au monde libertin. A+

(Thank you sincerely, to all of you who take the time to share your enthusiasm concerning our creation of lifestyle jewelry. We are very proud of the positive result!  It has now been 4 years since launching the line and we continuously receive encouraging testimonials like yours about its success from all over the world. We hear from people from as far away as Australia to Dubai, Japan to South Africa, Israel passing through Europe, in North America as well as Argentina to India. We greatly appreciate your commentaries, which help us to improve from day to day. Our products are destined to be for everyone in the lifestyle all around the world.)

Turns out, a Maryland cop who stopped our customer​ is a swinger too!

Woman with Partners ID bracelet taking a card from a policeman
Woman with Partners ID bracelet taking a card from a policeman

We read all of your stories about how people have met other swingers by wearing your jewelry and I want to share what happened to me.

I purchased a bracelet from you a few months ago but don’t wear it all of the time. I usually wear it when we go out at night to pubs and such but never thought to wear it during the day.

Last weekend we went out with some swinger friends and had a bit too much to drink. We were in no condition to drive home so we all piled into a cab and went to our friend’s house for the night. The next morning, my hubby and his buddy were busy doing some work around his buddy’s house so I asked his wife to please drive me back to the pub to pick up our car.

Before heading back to get my hubby, I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some aspirin as my head was pounding from all of the alcohol. I was driving back toward my friend’s house when all of the sudden I see the flashing blue lights behind me. I pulled over and waited for the cop to tell me what the hell I did wrong. He walks over and tells me I was doing 72 mph in a 40 mph zone. Oops! My bad! I hadn’t even realized I was driving that fast. He asks me for my license and registration and when I reach out of the window to hand it to him he starts to smile. I have no idea what his problem is but I’m happy to see him smiling! He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a set of keys and there was the key ring with the pendant on it! How lucky am I???

Needless to say, he did not give me a ticket but did tell me about a swing club about 40 miles away that he goes to with his girlfriend. He gave me his card and said if my hubby and I would like to meet them at this club one night to text him and let him know.

I am going to text him soon and set up a date to meet him (he was very cute), but more importantly, I didn’t get a ticket!

I now consider this my lucky bracelet! Had I not stayed over at a friend’s house the night before, I would not have been wearing it!  I now wear the bracelet all the time because you really never know!

Hope it brings everyone else as much luck as it has brought me!

xoxox
Tammie

Baltimore, MD

Maybe your neighbors are swingers and you just don’t know!

This is an email we received from one of our customers, which was printed with permission.

My wife and I bought your jewelry while visiting a club in Canada about a year ago.  We wear it mostly when we go out nights when we are hoping to meet other swingers.  Although people have complimented us on the jewelry, no one has ever asked what it means.

We went to a friend’s birthday party at a big club recently and thinking ‘you never know,’ we both wore our jewelry.  We partied late into the night and with the long drive, arrived home much later than usual. 

As usual, as soon as we walked into the house, my wife put the leash on our dog and went outside to walk her.   She was surprised when our neighbors from down the street turned into their driveway.  It was almost 4 o’clock in the morning!

She walked toward their house because there is an empty lot next door and that is where everyone walks their dogs.  A few minutes later, the male neighbor came walking toward her with his little dog in tow.  As it was just the two of them, they said hello and made small talk about the dogs.  

The neighbor mentioned that he often walked his dog late at night but had never bumped into anyone.  My wife told him we had just returned from a party that was a good distance away.  The neighbor was acting a little strange and she could not figure out why.  

He told her that they often stay out this late because they spend their weekends at a club that is open until 4 am.  Then he smiled at her and said, “You and her husband would like this club.  If you decide to check it out, wear your necklace.”

At this point I was concerned that she was still outside and went to check on her.  As I walked up the street I was surprised to see her talking to one of our neighbors.  We do not know most of our neighbors and although I know where this man lives, we have never spoken with him or his wife.

As I got closer to them, I was relieved to hear her laughing.   I was about to turn and walk back home when she called me over.  

My wife introduced me to our neighbor and told me that they were discussing her necklace.  I was afraid to say anything as I didn’t know what she had told him.  He immediately relayed the information about the swing club he and his wife visit every weekend.  The neighbor said his wife has a pair of earrings with the pendant and he knows what it means.

We have been living on the same street for 5 years and had never spoken with them before.  Next weekend they are picking us up at 8:30 and we are going to a swing club with them.  Does it get any better than this?

I have to be honest, that after wearing the jewelry for almost a year, we weren’t sure that we would ever meet people.  Now we have not only made contact because of the jewelry, but discovered our neighbors are swingers too!   This has become such an incredibly fun situation for us all!  

I did meet his wife that night and we had a drink at 4 in the morning with them.  We left it at that for now, with the hope of this becoming more in the future.  

This has added so much excitement to our lives!  I look forward to this weekend and many more!

I just wanted to tell you our story and thank you!

R & M

Spring Hill, TN

Clearly nobody told swingers that age 37 is too old to go to a night club!

Couples in night club wearing Partners ID jewelry

Over breakfast this morning, as is my habit, I scanned online articles looking for one of interest.   I came across an article discussing how old the writer believes is too old to go to a nightclub.   Wondering just how shocked I would find the answer, I opened it up and scrolled down to find the magic number.

Ok, play along and think of what age this survey came up with. I will admit, this number came as a bit of shock to me. Ready?  Surprisingly, the age was 37!   The article explains that people over the age of 37 are too old to go to a nightclub.  It goes on to say that the majority of people over the age of 30 would simply prefer to stay home.

Obviously, these people are not in the lifestyle. Not only the ones who are too old at 37 to go clubbing but also the ones over 30 who prefer to stay home. For those of you who are not in the lifestyle, I can assure you that neither of these statistics applies to swing clubs.

In light of these statistics, clearly, swingers did not get this memo.  The majority of people at a swing club are over the age of 40.  Although there are many people under age 40, they do not make up the majority.

Why are swing clubs so appealing to the “older crowd”?  In the past, swing clubs were the playgrounds for older, married couples.  Today, with this group of people who feel too old for night clubs, this has completely changed.

Due to the above finding, perhaps seeking out an age-appropriate alternative is what forces people to look for something different.  This is understandable, but why go to a swing club, especially if you are not a swinger?

For those who have been to a swing club, the difference is clear immediately.  First of all, people in swing clubs are friendly. It is very easy to meet other people. I can’t say the same about a night club. Most night clubs are filled with very young people who prefer to take selfies than to mingle.

Swing clubs are designed to provide maximum comfort for their customers. In a nightclub, it can be very difficult to get a drink. It seems they never have an adequate number of bartenders to serve their customers. Swing clubs often boast more than one bar and generally have attendants serving customers from their seats around the club. No need to fight the crowds to get a drink.
In general, swing clubs offer dinner and some even serve breakfast, which is included in the price of entry. Many swing clubs require you to bring your own bottle. This means your drinks are made exactly how you like them.  Unlike most bars and clubs, no skimping on the liquor as the bottle belongs to you.

Swing clubs are always members-only clubs. This allows them to have every guest register at the front desk with their identification. It’s comforting to know that there are no strangers.

The majority of swing clubs have theme nights and party nights. This creates an atmosphere of cohesion and celebration. There are also contests and often raffles and giveaways. Swing clubs work hard to bring people together and they make it easy each other.

For the most part, swing clubs attract people who are looking to meet others. Most people are friendly and warm. It is not uncommon for people to offer to make room on a couch to allow more people to squeeze in. Night clubs are not known for their warm and fuzzy atmosphere, while swing clubs are.

Obviously, swing clubs are more erotic and sexual than a regular night club. Although you will see some degree of sexy dancing and interacting at a nightclub, you cannot compare that to what you can see in a swing club. The main difference is that the interactions are often between couples.

With this in mind,  if the twenty-something crowd spent a night in a swing club, they would age out sooner. Swing clubs allow people to enjoy themselves without judgment. You can dress as sexy as you like at any age without judgment from others. If you watch the dance floor, you will see couples joining each other mid-dance and couples bringing singles in to join them as well.

Swing clubs boast an atmosphere of inclusion and warmth. It is kind of a hands-on “Cheers” environment. It’s a place where if you are a regular, everybody knows your name. Unlike most clubs, strangers are met with a hug or a kiss.

In view of this,  why would anyone choose a night club? And I only talked about what happens in the front of the club….

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

This is the only way to know who else is in the lifestyle without having to ask…

Le Club L; worthy of a special trip to Montreal!

 

Le Club L, Canada

Imagine stepping into a club which is illuminated by soft lighting and glistening colors of pink and blue. Sophisticated white leather sofas and gorgeous side tables strategically surrounding a dance floor. An elegant white stone bar with comfortable bar stools and beautiful bartenders waiting to pour your favorite drink. Beautiful couples waiting to meet you and get to know you. An atmosphere which pulsates with the promise of a night to remember. Welcome to Le Club L…

It is rare that a physical space can actually evoke a sensual feeling. This club has a vibe, unlike any other club we have visited. The sheer beauty of this club is overwhelming.

When the doors open to the interior of the club, it is impossible not to stop and try to take it all in. The vast three-story interior forces you to gaze up at the titillating colors that shimmer from the playrooms on the top floor. Beautiful hues of blues, greens, and pinks teasing you to come upstairs and investigate these gorgeous promises of late-night play.

The architecture of this prior bank building is impossible to ignore but it is the transformation that is most remarkable. The incorporation of the historic with the new makes this space spectacular.

The intricate details of this club’s interior are worthy of mention in Architectural Digest. The wrought iron banisters which glide easily up the circular staircase, the soft texture of the pillowy leather-clad walls, the colors which look like delicious candy. It all adds up to a seduction of the senses.

True to the club’s European style is a restaurant on the second floor which resembles a French cafe. The menu has many tempting tapas and meal choices which are perfect for this type of venue. It was a special treat to be able to watch the bar crowd and dance floor while we enjoyed a variety of delicious dishes.

Le Club L _ Montreal

This beautiful club is located in the fabulous city of Montreal and we believe it should be on your list of places to visit. For those of you who do not think of Canada as a sexy destination, think again! Unlike in most cities and states in the US, swinging is legal throughout Canada. This could be one of the reasons why Canadians are so open-minded!
Another perk to consider: when traveling to Canada: how strong the US dollar is versus the Canadian dollar. The currency exchange between the two countries weighs heavily in favor of the US. The current exchange rate between the Canadian and American currency is close to 35%. This means you get a lot more for your money in Canada!

Having heard so many wonderful things about Le Club El, we decided to visit on a Saturday night while vacationing in Montreal.

The club was easy to find and we were given a warm greeting by the woman in the reception area. We were delighted to learn that Le Club L offers a free one-night membership card to all non-residents of Quebec!

After the reception area, we were greeted by a gentleman who offered us a tour of the club. As soon as the door was opened and we stepped inside, we were stunned by the beauty of the club. The transformation of this former bank, with its spectacular lighting and posh updating, makes this club a must-see!

Kudos to the owners of this beautiful new establishment for their exquisite taste and this bold endeavor. They are not the only game in town, and another well-known club is not more than one mile away.

As soon as we entered the club we were greeted with warm smiles and introductions. The bartenders were quick to serve our drinks and when we spotted a cozy restaurant upstairs, we were excited to try the food. The menu offers an enticing array of choices starting with tapas and ending with desserts. The waitress was very friendly and the food was delicious!

The crowd was classy, attractive and friendly. We never felt like outsiders and it was easy to mingle. The music was upbeat and current, which kept the dance floor moving throughout the evening.

Le Club L - Back Room

After midnight we moved upstairs, which is where the rather large and interesting labyrinth of play areas are situated. Guests are not required to remove their clothing to enter, which is more common than not in Canada. The play area consists of many rooms to choose from, all of which boast clean sheets, condoms, and wipes. If a small, intimate room does not appeal to you, the original table from the former bank’s conference room remains intact and ready to be played upon.

The play area is well tended to by an employee who changes the sheets as guests finish playing. There are shades and doors which allow for privacy if so desired. An added benefit is the perfect temperature, which ensures that the guests will be comfortable both while clothed and when undressed.

Remember the name: Le Club L. It should be on your list of clubs to visit. Montreal is a beautiful city and now has even more to offer! If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to incorporate some lifestyle fun into your next vacation, definitely visit this club. You won’t be disappointed!

For more information about Le Club L, visit their website here:  http://www.leclubl.com

Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry when traveling to Canada!  Find your’s here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/ 

The pitfalls of relying on social media to meet other swingers.

Couple text messaging wearing Partners ID jewelry

Social media has become a way of life for most people. We have email, instant messaging, apps, and text messaging at our fingertips. When we wanted to communicate in the past, we picked up a phone and called someone. Now it has become much easier and more popular to just shoot a message to someone.

With this surge in the use of nonverbal communication, has come some problems. When we speak in person, others can hear our intonations as we speak. They can hear our excitement, our anger, and if we pause, they can rethink what they said and try to explain on the spot.  When we read a message, at times, we misinterpret what the writer is trying to convey to us.

How does this affect swingers looking for other swingers?

Simply put, when a couple is attempting to communicate with another couple and they rely on a messaging platform, things they write can be misconstrued. It becomes especially touchy when these couples have never met. Sometimes a person has a sense of humor that they try to convey in their messages. If you don’t know that this person is sarcastic, for example, you might misinterpret them as being arrogant. A person who is shy might come across as being disinterested. Perhaps one couple is very busy and so there can be a long delay between messages. If English is the person’s second language, their writing might be seen as a lack of intelligence or education. In any case, the couples might decide against meeting each other for reasons that are not valid.

The other problem that is rampant, is many couple’s disregard for the truth. The number one complaint seems to be the outdated photos that many couples choose to post. Regardless of how attractive and fit you were ten years ago, that no longer represents what you look like today.

If you are afraid that people will not be attracted by your current photos, this is not a reason to post old ones. After all, you will eventually meet in person and the first thing they will notice is that you do not look like your pictures. Many people say that they do this because although they might not like their pictures, they are sure they can win over another couple if they meet in person. The truth is, it does not work like this. We have heard many couples talk about how when they spotted the couple they had arranged to meet and realized they did not look like their photos, they turned around and left.

Some other problems with swinger profiles are lying about age and not being truthful about what you are looking for. If you do not have experience or are not totally comfortable with swapping, be honest. At some point, all of your lies will become apparent to the couples that you meet.  This makes it awkward for everyone. Don’t shave 10 years off of your age and then be surprised when the couple who agrees to meet you is not interested. Don’t expect another couple to “take it slow” if you have written that you are full swap and have tons of experience. Honesty goes a long way in making encounters successful and enjoyable. You will find couples to match with if you let them know who you really are.

Face-time and Skype have given us the ability to chat live.  Perhaps this is the best way to be sure that the couple in the pictures look the same in person. This also allows you to speak in “real-time” and avoid the problems that messaging can cause. Let’s not forget that in some areas, people have to travel quite a distance to meet each other. Remote areas that do not have a swing club or any other lifestyle events tend to be more reliant on technology.  This causes them to be dependent upon messaging.

When messaging with other couples just remember how many times your chats with family and friends have been misunderstood. Not because of what you wrote necessarily, but rather the way the reader interpreted what you meant to say or how you meant to say it. Give people the benefit of the doubt and always try to connect either by video chat or on the phone. This allows you the comfort of hearing what someone is saying and how they are saying it.

One of the other problems facing those who are dependent upon technology is having to a total stranger.  As many swingers will attest, they often “meet” people online who either drag out the process of an in-person meet or don’t show up to arranged meetings. That leaves the couple wondering what went wrong.  There are many people who seem to get off solely from the correspondence of another couple.  They pretend to be interested strictly for the thrill.  There was never any intent to meet.

One of the best pieces of advice for couples who find themselves struggling with flakes and no shows is to insist on meeting early on.  Don’t prolong the process of getting to know someone over texts or emails.  After one or two emails or phone calls, set up a day and a time to meet.  This will prevent you from wasting time with people who have no real interest in actually meeting in person.

When a person or couple finally agrees to meet, the smartest place to meet is a coffee shop.  There is no time or money commitment here and most people agree that within the first five minutes they know if they have any interest.   Wasting an entire evening meeting someone for dinner can be a disaster if you don’t like them.

Don’t forget to use common sense.  If something feels wrong or you get a bad feeling, back up.  Not everyone is honest or has good intentions.  Just like in regular dating, pay attention to what your gut tells you.

Most importantly, have fun.  Swinging is supposed to be fun.  This is not a job, but a lifestyle!  For most people, the time and energy put into finding other couples eventually pays off.

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