Swingers and strangers; the dangers of picking up a stranger for a night of fun.

Hotel doorway
Couple walking into a hotel

It seems that while we are in the thick of the pandemic, many swingers are still looking to play.  With swing clubs and lifestyle resorts closed (for the most part), some swingers are opting to find fun on their own.  This story reminds us of the danger of trusting strangers.*

Swingers like to have a good time but sometimes in their quest for the next great adventure, they might forget to think about their own safety. This is an email we received from a woman who wanted to share her story about having sex with a total stranger.  (We struggled with whether or not to post this but decided it is a story worth reading).  Although some people might argue that swingers in swing clubs and at lifestyle events are strangers, they really are not. Every club requires a membership which means everyone must register with their driver’s license, among other things. Even private parties do not usually include complete strangers. Most form a guestlist through swinger dating sites, which also have memberships.

No matter where or with whom you choose to swing, it is always important to use common sense. It is no different if you are single and dating, you must make sure to think about your safety at all times.  Although the fantasy of sex with strangers turns some people on,  the reality is not always what you might expect.

This is the email we received from a woman; we are glad to hear she is ok:

Rob and I were out of town and having drinks at a local bar. We met this really hot guy and decided I should flirt with him to see if maybe he would come back to our room and have sex with me while Rob watched. He was so big and muscular, exactly my type. I approached him and he was flirting back. I pointed to my husband and told him we are swingers and my husband would only want to watch. He seemed a little apprehensive at first but he soon agreed and followed us to the hotel.

We went upstairs and had a drink to help make him feel more comfortable. My husband sat in a chair across the room and gave us the sign to go ahead and forget he was there. The guy was really hot and things moved really fast. He tried to enter me without a condom but Rob was very vocal about that not happening and handed the guy a condom. He slipped it on and was really turned on. I glanced across the room to Rob, and he was sitting with his pants around his ankles.
I was having a great time when the guy flipped me over.  At first, I thought he was just going to do me from behind but he was trying for anal. Although I tried to stop him, he was becoming very aggressive. Before I knew it, he was totally inside and it was very painful. I was telling him to stop and Rob got up from the chair to approach us. The guy turned around and told Rob to “sit the fuck down”. At this point, I realized we were in a bad spot. It was like being raped while my husband was trying to talk him down. He was no physical match for this guy and we both knew it. Long story short, he finished, got dressed, and left. To make matters worse, his condom was not on when he pulled out. First I thought it slipped off inside me but I saw it on the floor and it was not used.

I know there are many couples out there who like to pick up strangers for a night of wild sex but after this experience, I realize how incredibly stupid it is. The truth is, I feel lucky that nothing worse had happened. He could have robbed us or killed us, we were so vulnerable. I have been tested for STDs and thankfully I am clean.
From now on, we will stick with swinging at our local club where there is security to prevent this type of situation. It is not safe to put yourself in a situation like this with a total stranger. I have nightmares almost every night, reliving this terrifying evening.

Sorry to bring such a terrible thing to swingers but I want people to realize that although picking up strangers sounds like fun, it is not worth the possible consequences.

Thanks for listening!

J.R and R.R

*We at Partners ID do not condone playing at this time.  This was sent to us several years ago.  Please stay safe!

Vaginas: They are sought after by so many, yet rarely spoken of.

Let’s talk about vaginas, shall we? It is something people rarely mention…

Vaginas are an integral part of our sex lives yet just saying the word seems to make people uncomfortable.   To test out this theory it seemed natural to talk with a group of swingers.  Swingers are such a great resource when sex is the topic. They are not afraid to be open and candid. If you want to know something that you have never been comfortable asking regarding sex, ask a swinger. They might not have all the answers, but they will certainly give you any information they can! Why then, when they hear the word vagina, do even swingers giggle?

So what’s the deal with vaginas?

Just the word vagina makes people shy away. A Michigan lawmaker was banned from speaking in her state’s House of Representatives because she said the word “vagina.” Really?! Is the vagina not simply a female body part? Should she have called it a va jay jay? How about pussy or snatch? Better?

How about the tampon commercials? They are obviously dealing directly with vaginas yet they never once use the word. How is this possible? If you watch carefully, they don’t even make mention of the female genitalia; not even a “down there” reference. What’s up with that?

It makes people giggle and look at you like you are drunk when you say the word vagina.

There are so many nicknames for the vagina that this should be a red flag right there! I have heard everything from penis snuggie to tuna taco to honey pot, and those are some of the nicer ones. There are actually lists of names on the internet. Here are a few sites I found:

http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-07-21/name-that-vajayjay-40-words-for-every-situation/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/105361

http://www.webdate.com/forum/all_things_webdate/Unique_Names_for_A_Vagina

Not even swingers are comfortable using the word?

I asked a group of female swingers if they ever use the word in general. Whether while talking about sex or even with their gynecologist. Ready for this? They all answered no, it’s not a word they feel comfortable using. Really? Even for swingers? I asked if they were having a problem with their vagina, how they would refer to it while speaking with their doctor? The most common answer: “down there.” One said she had actually said va jay jay to her doctor. I asked if he laughed and she said no.

Why do we need to use other words to describe it?

Is there a problem with the word vagina? Maybe we should consider simply changing the name to something that doesn’t make people so uncomfortable. Even after reading through some pretty ridiculous, yet hilarious names, I’m not sure what would be better: Cooch? Hooha? Snatch?

Is it the actual name of the organ that causes so much discomfort or is it the organ itself?

Men seem to take great pride in the fact that they have a penis. We see that from an early age and it seems to stay with them for their entire lives. Even as little boys, we see them touching it and playing with it as soon as they become aware of it. It’s rare that men shy away from an opportunity to take it out and show it off.

Why is it different for women? Is it the way we are brought up? Almost as if we are taught that it is something to be ashamed of? Why should something that is part of our sexual makeup, something that can make us feel so good, make us feel so ashamed?

Maybe it is time we give vaginas a break. They do an awful lot for us! It’s time we stopped being embarrassed by them and started giving them the respect they deserve! I am even willing to bet that after reading the word vagina this many times, you are feeling slightest more comfortable with it. Right?

Swingers: Why is it a secret that you are in the lifestyle?

Woman in lifestyle wearing Partners ID choker necklace

Are people still afraid to let others know that they are in the lifestyle?

Why do swingers feel the need to keep their lifestyle a secret?  I frequently hear swingers say that nobody knows that they are in the lifestyle.  They would die if someone found out.   Why is that?  What do people think when they hear someone they know is a swinger?  It reminds me of the time before I had ever had sex.   I couldn’t imagine how you could face the person you had sex with afterward.  What would they think after they had seen you in such a compromising way?  How would others see you? Obviously I discovered that these fears were unfounded.  Nobody seemed to look at me any differently, and facing the guy who I was with was no problem.  So what is it that makes us fear discovery?

 What is it that swingers fear about exposure?

Curiosity got the best of me and so I started to ask swingers.  I asked a group of swingers if they are very religious, but they are not.  I wondered if their children were at an age that it would create confusion and uncertainty, but they are not.  Do they think they are doing something criminal or unethical?  They do not.  Hmm.  Would exposure embarrass them?   This question got a nod.   Embarrassed? Why?  In truth, swingers are doing something that most people wish they could do.  They have sex with others and it doesn’t destroy their marriage.  Why?  Because two consenting adults have agreed to enter into this together.  There are no lies or secrets.

Would friends and family alienate you if they found out you were having an affair?

Admitting that you are a swinger should be a lot less traumatic than admitting you are having an affair, no?  After all, one is cheating and lying to someone you say you are in love with, the other is not.  Cheaters sneak around, worrying that they will be caught.   Getting caught would disrupt their lives and the lives of those around them.  Swingers, on the other hand, are out having a great time together.  They are out enjoying parties and events with their significant other.  This is something that others only dream of.

I wonder how many swingers are truly living this lifestyle unbeknownst to their friends and family.  Probably not nearly as many as believe they are.  Often times I watch swingers arrive at a club clad in an oversized trench coat in the middle of the summer.  When I ask these women if their family or neighbors don’t find this strange they say they don’t think so.  Really?  It’s 90 degrees outside and you leave your house or condo wearing a trench coat cinched at the waist with stiletto heels and nobody thinks that’s odd?

What happens to couples who come clean about the lifestyle?

Many swingers have said that when they finally decided to disclose to friends and family that they were swingers, many were not surprised.  Many said they had known about it for years but understood the swinger couple wanted to keep it to themselves.  (If these were the trench coat women, it’s no wonder people knew.)

What about the family and friends who did not suspect this person or couple was in the lifestyle?  What was their reaction?  Were they shocked and appalled?  Not according to the people I have spoken with.  Most said that more than anything, they were curious about swinging.  They asked a lot of questions but did not seem to have a negative reaction.  Many couples said that both friends and many family members (mostly siblings), eventually asked if they could tag along one night to see what it was all about.

Stop apologizing for your lifestyle choices; it’s your life and your decision to make.

Like any other group, in order to gain acceptance, we must learn to stand up for what we believe in.  Swingers should not be ashamed of their lifestyle.  Obviously it is not necessary to divulge what you do when you are at a swing club, or party, or another event.  Most people do not give blow by blow (pun intended) details to others about what they do in their bedrooms.  No need to reveal that you participated in a gang bang with 15+ men last Saturday. Nobody needs to know that you tried double penetration for the first time and loved it.  Many swingers don’t swap, and many people in the lifestyle are not swingers.  Enjoying the warm atmosphere that accompanies the lifestyle is a wonderful thing and people should not have to hide from it.

Why do people find it acceptable to learn that many famous couples are swingers?  Why are they held to a different standard than the rest of us.  Because they are famous?   Some are highly influential people and they do not deny that they are swingers.  Famous people frequently answer questions about their lifestyle and seem quite comfortable doing so.

What does wearing lifestyle jewelry actually say about you?

Wearing our jewelry means that you are open-minded.  If you think about it, being a part of the lifestyle really doesn’t mean more than that.   If your children or parents told you the same thing, would it concern you?  Although it might surprise you, you would  be happy to see them happy.

When we initially came up with the concept for the jewelry, we had just this vision in mind.  Wear the jewelry with pride.  First of all, others do not know what it means.  Secondly, even if they did, what does it really say about you?  It says that you are an open-minded person.

Let’s continue the movement to unite the lifestyle.  People in the lifestyle could really teach others a lot about relationships.  Honesty, respect and fun are the three hallmarks of the lifestyle.  What could be better than that?

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/page/2/

Imagine sending photos intended for swinger friends to your parents!

Photo of naked provocative woman wearing Partners ID jewelry
Taking photos is a wonderful way to capture memories of every kind.  From the day we are born, the cameras start flashing to ensure memories of this special event.  We embrace our photos as prized possessions and something tangible to remind us of the good times in our lives.  Birthdays, graduations, vacations with our families, holidays and good times with our friends.
 Swingers are no different, but their collections of photos are typically quite different from most people’s photos.  People in the lifestyle seem to take quite a bit of illicit pictures of themselves, and often their friends.  Check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or swinger websites. You will be inundated with more nude and pornographic photos than you can imagine.  Part of the fun of taking these photos is sharing them with your swinger friends, right?
 It is also common for swinger couples who have been speaking over the internet to request pictures of each other.  After all, you would like to see recent photos prior to meeting them.  It’s only logical then that you would choose to email these photos.  No big deal, right?  You pick out your favorite face shots. Then you look for that perfect sexy shot of the two of you engaged in some kind of sex act.  Maybe you like the one where you are giving your husband a blowjob while a black male is behind you. No?  Perhaps the one when your girlfriend is going down on you.   Type in the recipient’s email address and push send.  What could be simpler?  Although it should be a simple and private way to communicate, it does not always work that way.  We are human and computers do not always seem to be on the same page we are.

Swinger woman playing with herself wearing Partners ID bracelet

Sometimes the computer seems to magically change recipients without our knowledge.  I am sure it has happened to everyone:  you intend a message to go to one person and somehow it ends up going to someone else.  For most messages, this is simply a hassle or perhaps just plain annoying.  If you are a swinger, this particular type of scenario can be a whole lot worse.  You push send and as soon as your finger hits the button you see what’s happened!  The email is not addressed to your new friends at all but rather to your father!  OMG!  This actually happened to someone we know.
How about when your friends bring you into a group text message.  You and your vanilla friends agree on where to go for lunch or share some gossip about someone you all know.  We all have these group texts.  Not a problem until you decide to share some erotic photos with the swinger couple you played with the previous evening. It accidentally gets sent out in a group text.  There’s really nothing you can say because as we have heard, a picture is worth a thousand words.  Can you even imagine the conversation about you between your vanilla friends?  I shudder to think about it.
A couple was celebrating New Year’s Eve in a swing club and told their children they were heading out for a romantic dinner.  The club looked so beautiful they could not resist asking someone to take a picture of them against the festive backdrop.  They looked at the picture in the club that night and liked it so much they sent it right out to their children.  What they did not notice until the next day was that in the background was a monitor with porn.   There was nothing they could think of to explain this.
Another couple celebrated Halloween in a swing club and loved their clever costumes.  They asked a friend to take a photo of them and as they posed for the photo, a friend joined in for the shot.  When they checked the photo, they thought it was adorable.  The next day they met her parents for dinner and took out their phone to show them their cute costumes.  As they enlarged the picture, they realized the girl who joined in the shot had pulled her top down and her breasts were exposed.  It is very hard to think of what to say in these situations to somehow make things sound normal.
It seems that as long as swingers are snapping pictures of themselves and each other in compromising positions, there will always be the possibility of a mishap.  This does keep things interesting, no?

Two lifestyle couples meet when one tattoos our symbol onto her face mask!

Hi Partners ID!

This coronavirus has really made everything lifestyle related very difficult.  We were planning to be on a lifestyle cruise in March but that was canceled.  April was filled with plans for private hotel parties and get-togethers with friends but obviously these plans were all canceled. 

While my boyfriend and I are enjoying the time at home, we do miss our lifestyle friends.  We have enjoyed a few zoom parties and virtual sex with friends but let’s face it, it’s not the same.  It is impossible to duplicate the feeling of meeting up with our friends, both old and new, for lifestyle-related fun.

Out of boredom the other day, I took a face mask and applied a tattoo that we received as a gift when we purchased jewelry from you.  My boyfriend loved it and so I made one for him as well.  We took pictures of ourselves and decided we had to wear them when we went out food shopping.  

It became obvious at the grocery store that nobody was paying any attention to me.  They would not see the symbol on my mask because people were mainly concerned with keeping their distance from each other.  We both wore our masks with the symbol each time we went out but it always seemed that people were more interested in avoiding other people than connecting.

Somehow, it always seems when you least expect it, someone seems to notice!  My dog wasn’t feeling well so I ran her over to see our vet.  Their office is very large so they simply ask the customers to social distance in the waiting room.  I was watching tv when a woman sitting across from me waved to get my attention.  As I looked up she pointed to my mask and told me she loved it and wanted to buy one.  Unsure if she really knew the meaning or liked the decoration I laughed.  She told me she was serious that she had a necklace with that pendant and then I knew.  

Honestly, I never expected anyone to know what the symbol meant but clearly I was wrong!  She gave me her phone number and I promised to make one for her.  How fun that we met this other couple from the mask!  Maybe you should consider selling masks!

I thought you would enjoy this!

Stay safe!

Cathy and Keith

Framingham, MA

To see our lifestyle jewelry and tattoos, visit us here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/shop

Never in a million years did I think I would be in the lifestyle!

An email we received from a customer:

Dear Partners ID,

My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have children who are now living on their own and we both have careers that keep us busy. One evening after dinner, we settled into our typical nightly routine of watching tv on the couch. We talked about the upcoming weekend and who we wanted to go out with. I was shocked when my husband told me he couldn’t stand how routine our lives had become. We work all week, have dinner at home and on weekends go out to dinner or a movie with basically the same couples. He was afraid that our lives, now that our children were grown, would remain like this forever.  The thought of it made him sad.

Honestly, it was the first time I had ever thought about it, but I realized he was right. There was nothing to look forward to anymore; every week was the same.

That night I couldn’t sleep so I went on the computer to try to research what else couples at our stage of life were doing for fun. I came across a blog written by Penny which directed me to your website. At first, I was chuckling to myself about the prospect of Joe and myself as swingers, but as I read more blogs I started to realize that it really was about so much more than sex.

I started to research what exactly the swinging lifestyle entailed and thought it was worth mentioning to Joe. Never in a million years could I have imagined something like this, but I must admit, I was very curious.

When I initially mentioned it to Joe over coffee in the morning he thought I was insane. He, too, laughed at the thought.

For the first time in I don’t know how many years, he sent me a text and asked if we could meet for lunch. He told me he couldn’t get the thought out of this out of his mind and was excited that it was something I had an interest in. We had no idea how to go about the whole thing so I came back to your website to see what I could find.

It didn’t take long to find articles I needed to get started. We did some research online regarding local swing clubs and also spent some time looking at swinger dating sites. I will tell you that our sex life changed that very first night that we started to think about it! It was like something sparked inside both of us and we were alive and excited about what was to come!

Fast forward one year and our lives have changed dramatically. It has been years since my husband and I have been this happy and connected.  We look forward to our weekends with our new lifestyle friends and all the adventures! Each weekend we now go to parties and swing clubs and have booked a lifestyle cruise for the fall! Of course, we both wear your jewelry (proudly) and wanted to thank you for helping us find what we never knew we were looking for!

The friends that we used to spend every weekend with have noticed the difference in us but we don’t dare tell them what we are up to! We both work out several days a week and look younger and more fit than we have in years. Even our children see the change!

One of the biggest benefits of this lifestyle is the friends we have made. We are closer to them than any of the friends we have had in the past. We travel with them, meet them at clubs and even have sleepovers! What fun!

Thank you for opening our eyes to a wonderful new world! Your blogs are wonderfully honest and informative and your jewelry is beautiful! We wish you all the happiness that we have found!

xoxo
Debbie and Joe

Looking for our lifestyle jewelry? Simply click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

How easy it is to meet others swingers when you spot our lifestyle symbol.

 

Dear Partners ID,

We read all of your blogs and really enjoy reading about how people meet other swingers while wearing your jewelry. The need for a lifestyle symbol is over, you created it and it works.    Here is how we know this for sure!

A few months ago, we purchased two black rings from your website.  You were running a promotion that included a free bumper sticker.  When the package arrived, we slipped on the rings (which we love) and decided to put the bumper sticker on our mailbox.  The simple design seems to go unnoticed by people who don’t know what it means.

About one week after adhering the sticker, I found a plain white envelope on top of the mail left in the box.  It simply had our address scrawled on it.  I opened the envelope and there was a note with a business card.  I was about to toss it aside when I noticed the sexy couple pictured on the card.

The note was from a couple who passes our house every day on their way to work.  They noticed the sticker on the mailbox and wanted to say hi.  I picked up the card and looked carefully at the couple in the picture.  There was an email address and a Kasidie screen name.  

I ran to my computer and looked at their profile on Kasidie.  They looked to be a bit younger than we are but both looked attractive.  As soon as my husband returned home I showed him the note.  He was shocked that someone actually noticed the sticker and acted on it.

We sent an email and invited them for cocktails.  They accepted the invitation and we made plans for that same weekend.  Long story short, this couple lives one street over and our children go to school together.  This was the first time either of us had seen each other.  

Cocktails turned into a quick pizza dinner and they stayed well past midnight.  I would have liked to say we played with them but as I mentioned, we have children so that was not possible.  We do have plans to meet out for dinner and (maybe more) in a few weeks.  I can’t tell you how excited we are!  

They have been in the lifestyle for a few years and recognized the lifestyle sticker as soon as they saw it.  It took a few days to figure out how to approach us but this worked!

Thank you for the added gift!  We have new friends who live one block from us!  We would never have met them if not for the sticker!  

Looking forward to our future rendezvous!  

Big hugs!

Jessie and Brian

Livingston, NJ

We are still offering free bumper stickers (or mailbox stickers) for free with the purchase of 2 black rings.  You can see them here:

The Partners ID Black Lifestyle Ring – Buy 2 Rings get a FREE Bumper Sticker

 

Have you ever been sure another couple swings but did not want to ask?

Woman at barbecue with swingers necklace

Hi Partners ID,

This story should help others realize why this jewelry is important.  Everyone in the lifestyle spends so much time trying to find other swingers.  Half the time, they are right under your nose, you just don’t realize it!

My wife and I are big football fans.  Having both grown up in the same state, we are fortunate to root for the same team. Our three boys are also very big fans of the sport as well.  For years we had 5 season tickets and never missed a game.  We tailgated before every game and never left before it was over. 

Now that our sons are grown and have lives of their own, it is just the two of us attending games.  We still enjoy tailgating and have met many people over the years who do the same.  

Here’s the part you are waiting for.  As we have met many couples over the years at football games, we have had our suspicions  about which ones might be in the lifestyle.  Although we have always prided ourselves on having an ability to pick out the swingers, this was not a place we wanted to take the chance.  We tried dropping hints, using the term vanilla, etc., but no bites from any of the couples we suspected.   It got to the point that my wife wanted to simply ask two of the couples.  She was so sure that they were both in the lifestyle.  I begged her not to out us to this group just in case she was wrong.

Many couples at our local swing club wear Partners ID jewelry.  Having admired it for so long, we decided to each buy a piece.  As we know by now, most swingers are aware of your jewelry and so we decided to wear ours to a football game.  We made sure it was easy for other people to see it during the tailgating party.  We made it a point to speak with all the couples we had suspected might be in the lifestyle.  Nothing!  I had a moment when someone admired it but I realized it was just a compliment and nothing more.  It seemed pretty obvious that these couples were probably not swingers. 

During the game, I left my wife to go the restroom.  When I returned, a woman was sitting in my seat chatting with my wife.  When she saw me she jumped up.  She took out her cellphone and handed it to my wife, who inputted her number and said we would be in touch.  My wife introduced me to the woman before she quickly returned to her own seat.  

Guess what, she saw the jewelry!  They have had the seats a few rows in front of us for 7 years and had often waved to us.  Although, prior to today, we had no way of knowing, they are swingers!  

We did meet them for drinks the following weekend and they are a super couple. It turns out, this couple noticed us about 5 years ago.  They had no idea we were in the lifestyle and had no intentions of ever asking.  It was the jewelry that told them that we are swingers!  There is no question that we will see them again soon.

The most unfortunate part of this story is that it made us think about all of the missed opportunities.  Obviously this is not the only time we have been around other swingers and simply had no way of knowing.  

We now wear it everyday and look forward to discovering who else we have been overlooking all of this time!

Thanks for listening!

Warmest wishes,

David and Kate

Miami, FL

See the beautiful jewelry David and Kate were wearing here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Swinging; how do I bring up the topic to my significant other?

Wearing Partners ID jewelry is a good way to meet others in the lifestyle.

The most common question asked of swingers seems to be, “How do I get my husband/wife/girlfriend, etc., into the lifestyle?”  

There are many people out there who know about swinging and would like to swing. The problem is, they don’t know how to bring up the subject to their partner.

We have gotten quite a few emails from people who actually ask us this question. I’m not sure how I became the “Dr. Ruth” of swinging but I really don’t mind trying to help.

The majority of the time, this question comes from a man, but we have had women ask us as well. The interesting part is that many people have said the same thing. We often talk about how exciting it would be to bring another person into bed with us.  Although we both get turned on, I’m not sure how to make the leap to actually making this happen!

It is always a good sign if you have a good sexual relationship and can talk about things before you bring this up. It would seem to me that when you approach the subject, it should not be in the bedroom.

Many people like to fantasize to get excited but are not really prepared to act on these erotic imageries.

Several men said their wives get very turned when talking about having sex with multiple men at once. The operative word here is talk. There is a good chance that she is not prepared to actually do this in real life.  So how can you make this happen?

Try talking about how much you love to see your partner so turned on during sex. You love that they like to watch porn or to fantasize. Express how amazing it is that the two of you can share this together.

Mention that something you have always fantasized about was seeing other people have sex. Live sex, not on tv. How hot would that be?  This way you simply mention your desire to find a place where you can actually watch others having sex. This takes the pressure off of your partner.  You are not making your partner feel that they will have to be a part of it.

Check her reaction to a suggestion such as watching live sex.

Does she look at you like you are crazy or does she have a flicker of interest? If you get the ‘you’re crazy’ look, drop it and mention it again at a later time. The next time maybe say you came across this swing club online or in a magazine or a newspaper. After a while, she might get used to the thought. Perhaps your partner would be willing to just go and take a look. Again, it is extremely important to let her know that you just want to see it. That is all you want. This is, the first step.

Most women I have met in the lifestyle agree that it was not their idea to enter a swing club or check out any type of lifestyle venue. It is almost always the man’s suggestion. However, I will tell you that the woman is the one who requests to return. That being said, the major obstacle for most couples, is getting your partner to walk through the front door for the first time.

The smartest approach for many men seems to be to give the woman control of the situation from the very beginning.

When you are able to get her to agree to try it out for one night, encourage her to buy something new that will make her feel good. It is not important that she dress overly sexy, only that she feel good about herself. Try not to be overly eager about getting to the club or event. If you take a more casual attitude towards going, it will make her less nervous.

Most important of all, is when you arrive for the evening, make sure she is your number one priority.

Check to make sure she is comfortable. Make her feel special and attractive. If you walk in and start ogling all the other women, she will not like the environment from the get go. It is ok to be friendly, but let her take the lead and decide who she is comfortable talking to or not talking to. The same goes for a woman bringing a man. If you start to flirt with other people right away, your partner will feel insecure. Swinging must be about the two of you as a couple. If you leave your partner in the background during your visit, chances are, you will not be returning to any type of lifestyle event with them in the future.

The lifestyle is an amazing, exciting and warm environment.

There is no real reason why anyone would not enjoy it, as long as it is approached the right way. The number one problem that couples seem to have, which stops them from ever getting comfortable in the lifestyle, is jealousy. Nobody enjoys feeling insecure or left out. If you do not make it a priority to see to it that your partner is comfortable, they will not want to put themselves in this situation again, and who can blame them?

When you are new to swinging, it is very important to take your time.

Do not enter the lifestyle and think you should swing right away. It is more important to get adjusted to the situation before you take the plunge. Make sure that when you think you are both ready to take the next step, you have discussed it and know what you are both comfortable with. Always make sure to notice if your significant other is ok if you do swap with another couple.

Communication is the key to success in the lifestyle.

At the end of any night together it is a good idea to talk about the experience to make sure she/he was happy and comfortable with what happened. As long as you keep the lines of communication open from the start, you should have no trouble joining the lifestyle and making it a smooth transition. Swinging should be something wonderful for both members of a couple. It cannot work if one person is dragging the other person into it against their will.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

A sure way to find others in the lifestyle is by wearing our jewelry.  Each piece sports the international symbol for swinger.  To see the jewelry click here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers

 

 

A single man in the lifestyle, a very happy ending.

Single man wearing Partners ID Lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

I am a single man and I am in the lifestyle.  Let me tell you, it’s not easy for single men.  It’s easy to understand why people have such a negative reaction to single men in the lifestyle.  Trust me, even I have received dick pics in my inbox and I’m not even bi.

It actually takes more effort from the good guys to get past the stigma that is attached to us due to men with bad intentions and/or poor judgment.  Luckily for me, people tend to be able to differentiate the good guys from the bad relatively quickly.  

Although some think otherwise before getting to know me, I am not in the lifestyle for “easy” or “non-committal” sex.  Believe it or not, I took to the lifestyle to find love.  Yes, love, I was looking for a wife.

Like most people who know me, this revelation seemed to shock people.  Why on earth would you look for a wife in a swing club?  That’s like looking for a needle in a haystack! 

Growing up, my parents were swingers.  Although I did not know when I was a kid, I discovered their “secret” when I was in my teens.  It was confusing at first, but after the initial shock, I realized my parents seemed happier than any of my friend’s parents.  They didn’t say they had sex with other people, just that they had close relationships as couples.  It took me a little bit of research on my own to figure out what exactly they were trying to say.

After I turned 40, I realized that I had been serial dating for years and could not seem to find what I was looking for.  After internet dating sites, picking girls up at bars and being set up on countless blind dates I was ready to give up.  Many of the women I dated started out great, but not long into the relationship I could feel the change.  Sex was never as important to them as it was to me.  I wanted to find a woman who actually loved sex and this proved to be very difficult!

Growing up with parents who were constantly physical with each other, I knew this was possible, I just had to find it.  This is what led me to the lifestyle.  

Although there are not too many single women at any lifestyle event, there are always a few.  And guess what?  Many of them are in the lifestyle because they love sex!  It was not hard to meet unicorns and I have dated quite a few over the past few years.  Guess what?  This is not how I met my wife!

Believe it or not, I was in a swing club and saw your lifestyle jewelry!  I bought a necklace and started wearing it all the time.  Even if it wasn’t going to work, I love the design.

Not long after I started wearing it, I met a woman while at a sports bar who noticed the necklace.  She knew what it meant and we started to talk.  That was almost one year ago to the day and we are getting married in March.  Wow!  Best $50 I have ever spent!  And if you are all wondering, yes, she loves sex!

Sorry for the long story but it has a happy ending that I wanted to share with you!  I also want to give a shout out to your customer service girl Julie, who is so patient and kind!  Happy New Year and best wishes to all of you!

Carson

Detroit, MI

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

And remember, only Partners ID lifestyle jewelry is recognized around the world.