Are there any swingers in Hong Kong? The answer is yes, just ask this couple.

 

 

Couple living in Hong Kong wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

Dear Partners ID,

Nǐmén hǎo! This is hello in Cantonese. We are Lidia and Sam and we live in Hong Kong. We had to move for business a few years ago. We moved from California almost 2 years ago when my husband was offered a job he couldn’t turn down.

We have been in the lifestyle for the past 10 years and one of the hardest things about this move was leaving our friends. As you know, lifestyle friends are very special and we couldn’t wrap our minds around having to say good bye.

One of the first things we did after getting settled into our new home was to try to discover if swinging was popular in our area. Although we did see quite a few listings for swing clubs, we were nervous to take this route. My husband was new to the company and the last thing he wanted, was to run into someone he worked with.

We did take a chance online to try to meet others for an evening of play but that was not working out so well. After a few months we were getting antsy and very much wanted to play!

I had heard about your jewelry when we were still living in California and decided to order a few pieces for us to try. I purchased a necklace for my husband and a bracelet for myself and waited for them to arrive. I wasn’t really sure that anyone in Hong Kong would actually know what it meant but figured it couldn’t hurt!

I wear my bracelet most of the time but my husband prefers to wear his only when we go out socially. We went for dinner at a trendy restaurant one evening and when we were walking to our table, a woman grabbed my arm as we passed by. I looked down and she was holding a purse with your pendant on it! I was shocked! I never thought it would be this easy! They were with another couple and said they would stop at our table before they left.

Although this particular couple is not our style to play with, they are nice people who have helped us to navigate the lifestyle! They gave us all the information that we needed to meet other swingers and told us which clubs were the best in the area.

This was a few weeks ago and we have been invited to a party (through this couple) that we will attend this weekend. We just wanted to let you know that people in Hong Kong know the jewelry and it is pretty popular here!

Thank you! You really helped us!

Hugs and kisses,

Lidia and Sam

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Swinging can sometimes be a beautiful expression of love.

Swinging couple in bed wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

Swinging can sometimes be a beautiful expression of love.  I have no doubt that when some people see this title and they are not in the lifestyle, it will conjure up an image of a 1960s love fest; something reminiscent of Woodstock.  This really could not be farther from my point.

I met a couple last night while at a swing club and speaking with them really opened my eyes to how love can play a part in swinging.  This couple met when they were kids and were married before they even graduated from high school.  They entered the lifestyle as a mutual decision because neither had ever had sex with anyone else and as a couple they were honest enough to express their curiosity.  

I don’t believe that most people can be this honest with their spouse.  If couples were able to have this level of honest communication, there would be a lot less infidelity and a lot more swingers!

This couple is adorable to listen to.  The woman told us that prior to the lifestyle, she had not realized that her husband was not only a good lover but he was well endowed!  She had nothing to compare him with prior to her first experience as a swinger.  He echoed a similar sentiment and it made me realize how swinging has really helped to elevate their relationship to a whole new level. 

This is an aspect of swinging that is lost to the vanilla world.  Without having these experiences, they cannot relate to the degree of honesty and trust that is needed to do this.  To have an honest conversation with your spouse about having a desire to have sex with someone else is not easy.  We all already know this, as we see time and time again on all of the forums, where newcomers are asking how to bring up the subject to their significant other.   Most people would be highly insulted and hurt to hear their partner admit that they would like to try having sex with someone else.  The initial reaction is to think something is wrong with you and that is why your partner is seeking something else.  The truth is, if your partner didn’t love and respect you, they would do what most people who are not in the lifestyle do, they would simply do it behind your back.  When your partner wants to include you in this, it is only because they love and respect you.  When done correctly, the lifestyle can bring couples closer than ever.   

Love and sex are both wonderful and when the two are not mutually exclusive, anything is possible.

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Packing for Naughty in Nawlins? Don’t forget your lifestyle jewelry!

Well, it’s July and swingers know what that means!  It’s time for the biggest lifestyle event all year:  Naughty in Nawlins.  This event attracts pretty much all of the well known movers and shakers in the industry plus thousands of swingers looking to have a good time.  

The Lifestyle Awards take place during this event and that brings people from all over the world to witness and take part in.  The lifestyle  awards shine a spotlight on people who are working hard to make sure the lifestyle is understood and respected.

So what does this have to do with lifestyle jewelry, after all, everyone who attends is certainly a swinger!  This is true in terms of people who attend the parties and the vast majority of those people who are staying at the host hotel, but not quite in the city itself.

Naughty in Nawlins is a bit different from some of the other lifestyle events in that people spread out around the city to find their own adventures.  Now, you realize that not everyone in the city is a swinger or has any tolerance for people in the lifestyle.  So how will you be able to detect who is apart of the group?  Very simple, if you are wearing our lifestyle jewelry, it is simple for others to spot you and know you are part of the group.  

It is not uncommon to think someone is in the lifestyle by the way they act or dress but honestly, neither is a true indicator that the person is safe to approach.  When you spot someone wearing our pendant, you know with 100% certainty that you have found a swinger.

We designed the jewelry with swingers in mind.  We wanted something beautiful that could be worn on any part of your body, could be dressed up or worn when nude and would be easy to spot by others who know what to look for.  The design makes it too complicated to google the meaning so rest assured that others will never be able to investigate the meaning of the symbol.

It’s not too late to order now and have it in time for your trip!  

Stop wondering, start playing and have a great time

Check out the jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

If you don’t see what you like, drop as an email, we custom design pieces at no additional cost.

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A couple from Australia found a “very cute” swinger because of the jewelry!

 

 

Living in Australia we didn’t expect that after purchasing jewelry we would find another swinger very quickly.  How wrong we were.  We have only had our jewelry for about 3 weeks and were wearing it while out running some errands.  We stopped to grab a bite and while sitting in a corner booth, suddenly a man appeared out of nowwhere and was sitting next to me smiling.  We were  a bit confused but he pointed  to the pendant hanging from his necklace.  How wonderful this was!  Such a surprise and he’s quite cute to look at!  I am so pleased and wanted to thank you!  It really does help you spot other swingers and it really is around the world!  Bravo!

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Injections to help men combat erectile dysfunction; are they commonly used in the lifestyle?

Man using injections to get an erection
Sexy man in his underwear with Parnters ID necklace

At this point in time, everyone has heard of the medications to help men suffering from ED (erectile dysfunction).  The two most popular being Viagra and Cialis, although there are quite a few others out there.  We have all seen the ads on tv. There is the one with the couple in separate bathtubs (what is that about?) and the other with a  sexy woman with her come hither look to tout the drugs.

These drugs for erectile dysfunction have been on the market for many years now and it is probably safe to assume that the majority of men in the lifestyle (and perhaps out) have tried it at least one time.  It is probably also safe to assume that many men in the lifestyle have come to rely on these drugs when attending swing parties or lifestyle events. If you were to question the men about using these medications, they would tell you that they have no difficulty getting an erection, they just want to be sure there won’t be any problems.

It is really no secret that this is a huge issue for any man and for that, ladies, we must try to show compassion.  Let’s face it, we do not have the same pressures that men face when it comes to sex.    If we are not feeling it, we can still have sex.  Of course, we can also fake it;  both our desire and our orgasms, but when men have sex, they have to show up completely, every single time.

That can’t be easy.  Men also have reasons that they might not be in the mood, but once they commit to heading into the back room of a swing club or upstairs to a bedroom at a private party they better figure out how to achieve lift off!

You can hardly blame them for their desire to use ED medications.  Although they still have to become sexually aroused for the drug to work, it is much easier and the drug will take it from there.  That takes a lot of pressure off and men say they can enjoy the atmosphere more without the worry.  The nice part of these drugs is they work when you are ready for them and they still allow men to achieve orgasm.  Women can not really be sure if a man has taken it or not.

So what about this injectable drug?  What’s this about?  Men will actually stick a needle into their penis to get an erection?  Apparently some will.

This drug is called Caverject Impulse (which to me sounds like cadaver and dead bodies are hard…).  It is a serum which is injected directly into the penis.  It works by relaxing certain muscles in the penis and widening blood vessels, which increases blood flow to the penis and helps to cause an erection.   When used as directed by a physician, the erection should last about 30 minutes.

Hmm.  Seems that the men who are using it recreationally are using more than the recommended dose as their erections can last for 2-3 hours.

It is easy to spot men who are using injections.  The next time you visit the back room of a swing club notice the men who arrive in the back room with a raging hard on.  Usually they will be fondling themselves as this is necessary to get the drug working.  These are the men who are having lengthy conversations with people while their dicks are fully erect.  They walk to the bar for a drink and when they return, they are still erect!  It is pretty comical to watch, especially because they think nobody knows.

Here’s the interesting part.  Having researched this topic quite a bit, it seems women do not like this drug quite as much as men think they do.  Women prefer a natural hard on which is caused by her partner’s attraction to her and her touch.   She does not really have the desire to have sex for 2 or more hours, especially when she discovers you will not climax.  When you read what women have written on this subject it is hilarious.  Some talk about how after 30 minutes their minds wander to other things such as their grocery list, an upcoming doctor’s appointment, open school night, etc.  Others say that when they know their partner is planning to inject himself, she works doubly hard to make sure they find another couple to play with so it can be the other woman’s problem.

Perhaps men should consider how they would feel if the woman they were playing with did not climax.  Most men seem to get pleasure out of bringing their female partner to orgasm.  They think they would enjoy it if a woman was never ready to call it quits; that she would want to play for hours.  Are you sure? I’m not sure how many men are up to that task…

These medications were not designed for recreational use.  There are long term side effects from the injections that men would probably rather not know about.  As for drugs like Cialis and Viagra, these seem more acceptable to women as they allow men to function more normally.   They can be taken as little as 30-60 minutes before sex so for most men this is a good option.  Again, some men become psychologically dependent on these drugs to perform in swinger environments so if you can avoid getting started with them, it’s probably better.

The truth is, women know that men can have issues with performance and we know this is normal.  For men who are new to the lifestyle, having to perform while others are watching can be extremely intimidating.  It is not always easy for women to stay focused either, it’s just not as apparent.  Perhaps if men could approach this moment differently they would have less problems.  Instead of rushing into the back room and trying to get started immediately, men might benefit from relaxing and trying to focus on the woman they are with.  Block out the rest and concentrate on being with this one person.  And quite honestly, if it doesn’t happen it is ok too.  You can still enjoy each other and wait for next time…

 

Check here to see our newest lifestyle jewelry! Stop wondering, start playing!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

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You know you’re a swinger when…

Open-minded couples in bathrobes wearing Partners ID jewelry
Swingers in bathrobes wearing Partners ID jewelry

So you are in the lifestyle and have gotten your feet wet in the world of swinging.  It does not matter what “type” of swinger you are:  full swap, soft swap, etc., what matters is that now you are one of us!   It comes about slowly, but all of the sudden you have that aha moment when you realize you are truly part of the lifestyle.  This list points out things that are common among people who swing and if two or more apply to you, you are a swinger!

You know you’re a swinger when:

The names in your phone are couples with first names only (or they all have the same last name, which is the name of your swing club).

Your kids are coming to town and you have already forewarned them that you have important plans Saturday night that cannot be broken.  You have also scoured their rooms to make sure their sheets are clean and there are no condoms or toys in the drawers from your last sleep over guests.

You dress in your car and think nothing of the trucks passing by when you are buck naked on the highway.

You get dressed at home and wear a trench coat in the middle of summer to get out of the house.

You have a “secret” closet for your slut wear and hooker shoes.

When someone asks to see a picture that’s on your phone you hold the phone to show them.  You panic that they might scroll through some of the photos.

You have at least one screen name with some sexual  or provocative word in it.

There are nude photos of you somewhere.

You have lied to many friends about your where abouts on the weekend.

You have declined important vanilla social engagements to attend a swinger event.

You are married but have condoms in your house.

You have sex toys and lingerie and share both with your lifestyle friends.

You have told women you love their breasts and asked if you can feel them.

You see a couple and ask your partner if you have ever played with them.  (You can’t remember everyone!)

When you see an attractive couple, you point them out to your partner, even in vanilla settings.

You talk about the size of your partner’s penis, then your friends want to see it for themselves.

You would happily show your tattoos and piercings; even your clit ring.

When someone is talking about a Prince Albert you know it’s not a person.

You have to remember to pack a bathing suit when going to the beach with vanilla friends.

You tell your friends that you can’t see them this weekend because you have your period.

When you invite your lifestyle friends to your house, they are not interested in eating…

You have had sleepovers with your friends.

You share a stall with your friends in the restroom.

You have to make a conscious effort not to discuss sex with your vanilla friends.

You have to remind yourself that you cannot just strip off your clothing and jump into a pool at a vanilla party.

You have discussed another man’s penis with your husband.

Your husband has told you that another woman is good in bed.

You’ve had some sexual contact with your best (lifestyle) friends.

You have to remember to keep your clothing on when on a vanilla vacation.

Did you shake your head in agreement more than twice?  Chances are you agreed to many of these.  If you did, congratulations!  You’re a swinger!

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry!  We’ve recently added some new and exciting pieces!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

 

 

 

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Aloha from friends who live in Hawaii! How’s the lifestyle in Hawaii?

 

Woman from Hawaii wearing Partners ID black choker
Hawaiin woman wearing Partners ID black choker

 

Welina Partners ID,

Aloha from friends who live in Hawaii!

For the first years we were in the lifestyle, we sought out vacationers from the mainland through sites like SLS and SDC but it was always complicated.

We found it frustrating that we had to hide who we were from everyone we knew.  We would read articles from your site and others about clubs and friendships that had enriched so many swinger’s lives.  

Although most people tend to imagine that Hawaii is full of people who are free thinking and sexually open, but that is a thing of the past.  Religion has taken a more important role here in Hawaii over the past 2 centuries and sex is no longer something most islanders approve of if it is not between a married couple.

After reading some of the stories on your website, we finally decided to buy jewelry.  (I attached a photo of the necklace I bought from you): https://www.swingersjewelry.net/product/black-velvet-choker-necklace-with-lifestyle-pendant/  not only to find other swingers but it made us each feel authentic.  We wore our jewelry like a symbol of pride.  We enjoyed knowing that here we were identifying ourselves to everyone yet nobody knew that the symbol has any meaning.  At times it made me giggle!  Often when I wear the jewelry to work (I work in a store that sells ladies clothing), women will ask if we sell the jewelry!  The owner even asked about stocking some in the store!  How funny is that?!  

When my husband and I finally get the same day off we like to go snorkeling.  We try to go early and have the rest of the day on the beach.  We were relaxing at the beach and this nice looking couple sets up right next to us with their beach gear.  They were very friendly and the man then asked about the lifestyle in Oahu (where we live).  I look at my husband and the man quickly pointed at his wife’s ankle bracelet.  I started to laugh because I forget that I’m wearing my necklace!  This happened a few months ago and was the best thing that ever happened to us!  We became very good friends (wink wink) and they had other friends that also are in the lifestyle.  They also introduced us to a group that has a small club so we have been so happy!  

Your jewelry is a good luck charm for us!  This is the happiest we have been since we moved back here 5 years ago!   You will see my order because I am ordering for our group!  They are very excited about it and so are we!

Mahalo nui loa,

Aloha mai e

Kailana & Bane

Oahu, Hawaii

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Vanilla couples; are they secretly wishing to explore the lifestyle?

Vanilla couple trying on Partners ID jewelry
Vanilla couple trying on Partners ID jewelry
 What separates vanilla folks from those in the lifestyle?  (For those who do not know the term, someone who is vanilla, is someone who is not in the lifestyle.) Is it that they are having such mind blowing sex with their spouse or significant other that they never even think about being with someone else? That seems highly unlikely.  It seems impossible to believe that every adult does not at some time fantasize about having sex with someone else. It is normal and it is human.  It does not mean that they will act on it, it strictly means they have thought about what it would be like.
Sex is a big part of adult life and although some people like to disagree, all we need to do is to consider the billion dollar porn industry.  If nobody is that interested in sex, who on earth is watching all of that porn?  How many marriages fall apart because one person wants sex and the other has lost interest?  One person has a choice at that point:  cheat or leave.
One thing that I really appreciate about swingers is that they are honest about sex.  They like sex, they want sex and they think it is normal to talk about sex.  They have learned to make the difference between sex and love.   They have learned how to channel their desire for sex and their desire for excitement, while staying in their committed relationship.  It’s a win – win.
We talk about the fact that swing clubs are trending and based on the number of vanilla couples visiting swing clubs, they are trending for sure.  What about the couples who have not explored the lifestyle?  What makes some couples take the plunge and others not?
Having been in the lifestyle for over ten years, we are at the point where most of our weekends are spent either at private parties or swing clubs.  We did have an obligatory dinner this past weekend with some vanilla friends and it was very interesting.  I noticed that after a few drinks there was a lot of flirting between the couples.  At one point (we were at someone’s home) a song came on and two of the women got up and danced together.  They were not provocative, but the men ran for their phones and were cheering them on.  My husband and I just sat and watched.  Obviously for us, this is nothing new, except that there was no touching and they were wearing clothing.  It occurred to me throughout the night that our vanilla friends had some sexual tension between them, but they kept it in check.  There is no way that they are acting on it but I couldn’t help but wonder if they don’t think about it at night when they go their separate ways.  They know we are in the lifestyle but never ask us about it so we do not offer any information.
Is it possible for some couples to be satisfied with these type of interactions and never consider acting on them?  I realize it must be, as most people are not swingers and would never consider this lifestyle.  Are these the type of couples that go on to have affairs?  Do they spend their lives secretly wishing they could be with someone else?  Perhaps for them it is too risky.
Perhaps this is what lifestyle couples have in common; they are risk takers.  There are always going to be exceptions to every rule, but in this case, it seems very possible that this is a common trait amongst many swingers.  Think about the people you know in the lifestyle.  Most of them are a little bit more daring than others you know.  When I consider the jobs swingers have, although they obviously cover a huge spectrum, there are some similarities.  We have met many doctors, lawyers, stock brokers, ex cops, veterans, firefighters, paramedics, etc.  What do all of their jobs have in common?  They are risky; they can never predict the outcome of what they do.  They are not like accountants or engineers or architects where things are mapped out so there is never room for a questionable outcome.  Interestingly enough, we rarely encounter accountants, architects or engineers in the lifestyle.
If couples are afraid of risk, the lifestyle is the last place you will find them.  Everyone who swings realizes that when you enter the lifestyle you lose a little control over your relationship.  You have to have a tremendous amount of faith in both yourself and your partner to be able to partake.  Imagine the man who thinks he wants to play with other women only until he sees his wife enjoy having sex with another man.  He took a risk.  He came into the lifestyle and allowed his wife to play with someone else.  For some people, they have enough confidence to believe their wife (or husband) will enjoy the moment and want only to be back with them.  Others will not have that confidence, so the risk is too high.  It is the same for women; sure my husband seems satisfied with  me now, but he might meet a prettier, slimmer woman with a better body.  What if she’s better in bed than I am?  How will things ever be the same with my husband again?  When you think about it this way, swinging can seem like a risk many couples would rather not take.
It is easy to understand vanilla couples acting as though they are perfectly happy with their marriage just as it is, and wanting us to imagine that their sex lives are perfect.  If they were to open up and say they are curious, or have thought about having sex with someone else, they might get invited into the lifestyle and they are not ready for that risk.  It would seem impossible to believe that if vanilla couples were truly honest with themselves that they could say they have never thought about having sex with someone else.  I guess the difference between couples who take the lifestyle plunge and those who don’t, is that swingers are more open and honest with their partners.  It can be very risky to even ask your partner if they will try the lifestyle, but for those of us who did, the rewards have been huge.
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The down and the dirty; what turns people off when swinging?

Swinging woman in bed wearing Partners ID jewelry
Annoyed woman in bed wearing Partners ID jewelry

In a perfect world, swingers and swinging would be perfect.  We all know from experience, that nothing is perfect.  We all wish we could simply educate people as to what not to do in the lifestyle, but that would be rude.  So instead, simply send this blog out in a mass email and hope for the best!

So what are people doing that we find so annoying?  Let’s start with a list:

  1. Body odor (any kind, doesn’t matter where or why)
  2. Bad breath (probably could be included under number 1 but want to make sure people see this)
  3. Poor hygiene
  4. Talking during sex.  (We will explain later)
  5. Cheering from the stands (obviously only when you’re swinging in a club or group setting)
  6. Someone telling you what to do and how to do it
  7. When someone tries to do something unconventional without asking
  8. Having someone tell you how much you like what they are doing to you
  9. When someone asks: “Did you cum yet?”
  10. Telling couples that you are so shy and new but the reality is exactly the opposite.  
  11.   Attention seekers.
  12.   Snobs
  13.   People who impose their fantasies on other people.
  14.   Calling others over to join in while you are playing.

Let’s start with the body odor.  This is pretty self explanatory.  Nobody wants to play with someone who smells.  Not hair, underarms, genitals or any place else.  It’s just gross.  For everyone’s sake, please make sure to shower and wear clean clothing when you go out to swing.  Put on deodorant and heck, wear some cologne or perfume, it can’t hurt!  Body odor is a deal breaker for most couples in the lifestyle.  

Bad breath is a common problem but pretty easy to solve.  Take your pick:  breath mints, breath strips, chewing gum, mouth wash, or mouth spray.  We are not picky, just make sure to use it as often as you need it!  We are always confused when one person has very bad breath and their significant other doesn’t tell them.  We are alway trying to figure out if the significant other has become immune to the smell; why else wouldn’t they alert their partner?

It’s hard to believe that poor hygiene is actually a problem that some swingers encounter, but it is.  It would seem that when people are headed out to meet others for sex, good hygiene would be a priority.  Sadly, this is not always the case. I am sure that these people have a tough time finding others to play with.  

Talking during sex can be a real turn off for some people.  To be in the moment with your partner requires a certain amount of concentration.  No matter how funny that joke is, it can wait.  It’s a huge turn off when someone interrupts your kissing to tell you something.  If the building’s not on fire, whatever you have to say can wait. 

Cheering from the stands is high on many people’s list of things they hate.  We don’t need your comments or applause when we are playing.  If you enjoy watching, fine, do it, but please don’t give us your two cents.  Don’t cheer us on to cum or for him to keep going.  It’s a mood killer and it seems nobody wants to hear it.

While many of us can appreciate that some people have a very specific way of playing, giving too many instructions to your partner can be annoying.  Do this, push harder, go deeper, turn right, turn left etc. is not a huge turn on for most people.   If we need an instruction manual to play with you, we’d rather just not play with you at all.  

Not everyone is open to everything and this can sometimes be a problem  If you are thinking double penetration or anything anal related, it’s probably a good thing to ask your partner first.  The same goes for men touching men.  Better to be upfront about what you are hoping for then to surprise a couple when they are in a compromising position.  The same goes for playing bareback.  If you and your partner prefer to play without condoms, don’t assume that everyone shares your views.  This is something that should be discussed ahead of time.  If a man hands you a condom when you are playing with his wife, he expects you to put it on.  Don’t try to simply “slip it in” to see if you can get away without one.  Also, please don’t tell us your too big and no condom will fit.

We all know when we are enjoying ourselves and when something feels good to us.  Unless you are the type who lies there staring at the ceiling, you probably do something to let your partner know you are enjoying what they are doing.  The last thing anyone needs to hear from the person they are playing with is, “That feels so good for you, right?”  “You like that.”  Especially when it is said over and over.  That can be extremely irritating.

This is somewhat related to the above problem.  It’s natural to make some type of noise when you orgasm.  This usually allows your partner to know when it happens.  There have been men who have made me scream and not long after will turn to me and ask me if I came.  Seriously?  You didn’t know?  Are they asking just to hear you say yes?  I am never sure.  

This seems to be a growing trend:  meeting a couple and the woman tells you that they are very new to the lifestyle.  She says she has never played, she is very shy and unsure about the whole thing.  Maybe everyone can take it slow and she can just play touchy feely with the other woman.  No sooner is everyone naked and she’s grinding away with your partner.  To top things off, she tells the group her fantasy has always been double penetration.  WHOA!! What?!  You are left with your mouth open while she screws your guy and hers and you are left to watch.  What just happened?  Sometimes the man she is with is just as shocked and he is so busy watching her that he can’t even get an erection!  While we have no objection to anyone that wants to play, why not be honest from the get go?

Attention seekers are annoying to everyone.  They are the loudest and most annoying people in the lifestyle.  When everyone else is lying down, they are standing on the mattress, when people are sitting down, they are dancing.  You know who they are and nobody wants to be with them.  They are always screaming with pleasure and most people would like to put a pillow over their mouth.

Snobs are always low on the totem pole.  Nobody likes to associate with someone who is too good for them.  They walk around acting like everyone is lucky to be in their presence.  They are generally not very successful with swingers.

Everyone has a fantasy but that does not mean we all share the same ones.  If your fantasy is something that others might not be ok with, better to play them out at home.  Golden showers and other bodily oddities don’t fly with everyone.  Nobody likes to find themselves with a partner who is asking something outrageous of them.  If your fantasy is something out of the ordinary it might be a good idea to ask people before hand.  Their facial expression should be a good indication as to whether they are ok with this.

When you are playing with another person or couple, they can sometimes get caught up in the moment and decide to share their good time with others who are around.  That might be fine but it is always best to ask the people you are playing with before you do this.  Randomly inviting others to join in is not always appreciated.  Many people like to know the people they play with or have certain standards by which they choose others to play with.  When a couple simply waves another couple (or single man) over to join in, this can make people unhappy and uncomfortable.  

Swinging can be a lot of fun but sometimes people do things to ruin the experience.  These are just some of the problems people encounter that can be a real turn off.  If you swing and have discovered that you rarely get a second chance to play with the same couples, you might want to take a look at some of the reasons people might try to avoid playing with you.   Most of the pet peeves that irritate people are easy to fix.  

 

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How’s that snobby attitude working for you? Why cocky people don’t have success in the lifestyle.

Snobby woman wearing Partners ID jewelry
Snobby woman wearing Partners ID jewelry

How’s that snobby attitude working for you?

Everyone has come across that person in the lifestyle.   You know who they are; standing around scoffing at others in a lifestyle environment.  In their mind, they are too superior to be surrounded by such, well, inferior people.  They think are the very definition of beauty and intellect  You can’t miss them, they stand around with their nose in the air.   Thankfully, they are not the norm but it doesn’t make it any easier to stomach them when they show up.

Why on earth do some people have such an attitude of superiority?  Nothing like a healthy dose of self confidence!  If these people are as irresistible as they tend to believe, why are they so frequently alone?

We watched a woman like this just last night.  She was not nearly as attractive as she imagined she was but her attitude was so awful, we could barely stop staring at her.  (Perhaps this is why she has so much confidence!  People stare at her not because she’s so beautiful, but rather because she’s so obnoxious!)  

This particular woman held her head high in the air and watched to make sure everyone looked at her as they walked past her.  Needless to say, most people did not give her a second look but she kept at it.  Any time a woman walked past her, she would laugh, as if to let the other woman that know she didn’t approve of her look.  She would throw her head back, point at the woman and whisper in her husband’s ear.  It was hard not to say something to her (or smack her).  It was so incredibly rude.

Her husband tried for a long time to coerce her to mingle with other couples but she was not interested.  When she finally spotted a man who she deemed worthy, she made her move.  She flirted shamelessly with him all the while keeping her back to the man’s wife.  Her hands were all over him and she giggled at everything he said.  Her husband tried to speak with the wife but she was clearly on high alert that this woman was not someone with whom she wanted to be involved.   When she thought she had this man’s interest, she walked away and made her way to the dance floor.  She was putting on a show that nobody seemed interested in watching, including her husband and the couple with whom she had just interacted.  

We lost sight of this woman during the evening but later on they walked past us on their way out of the club.  I overheard her telling the manager that the crowd was sub par at best, a huge disappointment for such a well known club.  

There is no place in the lifestyle for this type of person.  Swingers pride themselves on their warmth and friendliness.   That is what sets them apart from the rest of the world.  There is no rule that says you must play with everyone you speak with or even that you must become friends.  There is, however, an understanding of common courtesy towards others. 

Most people we have encountered in the lifestyle are looking for fun.  They want to feel free to let their hair down and enjoy themselves.  When they encounter someone like this, they simply move away.   People are not attracted to others who hold themselves in such high regard that they try to make others feel bad about themselves.  This is not high school and the last thing any swinger is looking for is drama.

These types of people rarely make more than one appearance at lifestyle events because it soon becomes apparent to them that they are too good for everyone. (That’s a good thing!) It is however, a good lesson for others to learn.  Nobody likes someone who feels that they are better than others. It doesn’t matter if the person is extremely attractive, very wealthy, has a very high powered job or is famous. When you are at a lifestyle event, none of that matters.  The people who have the most success in the lifestyle are the friendly ones.  If you are warm and inviting, you will attract other couples.