How this NY couple discovered their friends are swingers too!

Swinger symbol jewelry necklace

Dear Partners ID,

We often read your blogs and always enjoy the stories about how other swingers have met each other because of your jewelry.  I have to admit, we were not even in the lifestyle when we first came across your website.  We found it because we were researching swinging to decide if seemed like a good fit for us.  

One of your blogs popped up when we first began our search and we liked Penny’s tongue in cheek style of writing.  We have been reading them ever since.

My wife and I are in our mid-fifties and have been married for a little over 20 years.  We have one son who no longer lives at home so we are now essentially empty nesters.  Sex has always been an important part of our relationship, so it was natural for us to look for something erotic that we could do as a couple.  

When we investigated swinging, we were totally shocked to read so many forums debating what age is too old to swing.  I, for one, imagined swinging was something for older couples who had been married for many years.  Baby boomers came to mind when I thought of swingers.  After all, isn’t swinging something couples do to spice up their marriage?  

Clearly, I was wrong.  Swingers seem to range in age from 20s through 60s (and even 70s).  Wow!  So we had to hit the reset button and try to open our minds to what swinging actually encompasses.  

We began checking out some swinger dating sites and looked to see if there were any swing clubs within a reasonable distance to our home.  All the while, my wife and I couldn’t help but wonder if we weren’t actually already friends with swingers.  Would we know?  

Next, we bought a necklace for each of us and wore them every time we went out.  

Well, it didn’t take long!  The second weekend after receiving the jewelry, we wore our necklaces to a friend’s housewarming party.  A couple we have known for at least 5 or 6 years approached us not long after we arrived.  They kissed us hello and the woman turned to her husband and said, “I knew it!”

She moved close to my wife and fondled the pendant which was hanging from her necklace.   We both looked at them, hoping we understood what was happening.  

What we discovered was that we do have friends in the lifestyle!  The funny thing is that they suspected we were swingers long before we had ever thought about it.  

The best part about this, is that we have friends who are now helping us to navigate the lifestyle!

Thank you for the lovely jewelry, we will keep you up to date on our new adventures!

Stay well,

Julie and Mark

Great Neck, NY

Looking to meet other swingers? Wearing our lifestyle jewelry makes it easy for others to know that you too are in the lifestyle!

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Drama in the lifestyle, why it is sure to ruin everyone’s night.

Drama free group of swingers wearing  Partners ID swinger symbol jewelry 

Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. As a rule, when it comes to swinging, it is no different.

Swinging is something people do for enjoyment.  Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun.  If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenage children.

The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night.  You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time.  Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.

A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks,  and heading into a play area.  Next, you try to find another couple (or single).  Ideally,  everybody plays, everybody is happy, and you leave.  That’s not so hard, right?

For many couples it is simple.  They have conversations about what works for the both of them.  Usually, the problems begin when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.

So what causes drama in the lifestyle?  Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong?  Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:

1.  Someone is too drunk to play.
2.  One member of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3.  The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4.  One member of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5.  The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6.  One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7.  They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8.  One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9.  One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10.  One gets upset and leaves during play.

Not surprisingly, when couples find themselves in situations such as these, it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.

With this in mind,  how can you avoid ending up with couples who create drama?  Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance.  Couples are not always upfront and honest regarding what they will and will not participate in. Not to mention the couples who say they are full swap and ready to play, and they are not.

To begin with, couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with.  If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront.  Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well.  Besides, couples who cause drama eventually develop a reputation as such.

Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun.  Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment.  If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.

The bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…

If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Important qualities to look for, and what to avoid, when choosing a couple with whom to swing.

Swinger couple smiling wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

Why is swinging sometimes more enjoyable than others?

Swingers are always looking to meet the right couple (In this blog we are talking about couples) with whom to play. While we cannot predict which time it will work perfectly, there must be reasons why sometimes swinging is so much better than others.

What makes some experiences so much more positive than others?

You invite another couple to your home for an evening with the hopes of swinging. First, you have drinks, then a nice dinner, conversation, and then you settle in for some fun.

Take your time and make sure everyone seems to be on the same page.

Everything up to this point has been fun and easy. The hot tub looks inviting and so you all decide to climb in. It doesn’t take long for you and your partner to switch with the other couple and start fooling around.

One couple moves inside to the bedroom while the other couple remains outside. You play for a brief time and soon your partner arrives at the bed with the other person. Everyone kisses each other and lightly touches as they move next to you on the bed. The next few hours are fun and everyone is happy.

You see, swinging is so easy, right?

The answer is, when the situation works, yes. When everyone is on the same page and nobody feels slighted or left out, this is the result. Easy, fun, and you and your partner are happy.

Why then is it so often more complicated than this? What happens to contribute to a negative experience?

In my opinion, there are many variables when playing with other couples. One important factor is that both members of the couple are interested in playing with the couple you choose. If one is doing it to please the other, it will not work. We speak often about taking one for the team. While it is unavoidable at times, when planning an evening with specific people, there is no excuse for this.

What are some of the characteristics that make couples a bad choice when trying to decide?

(We are not talking about strangers here, we are strictly speaking about couples you have met before.) Some couples cannot seem to avoid drama. Either there are jealousy issues, one person is more eager to play and the other seems to simply go along, they bad mouth other swingers, some have insecurity issues, etc. Any of these issues will undoubtedly cause trouble when you try to swing with them. Besides, who wants to play with a couple who is going to talk about you after the fact?

What are some qualities you should look for in other swingers?

Good choices are couples who are connected to each other. It is clear that they love and support one another. They do not speak negatively about their partner or claim to be a better catch than their significant other.

Connected couples speak highly of one another and interact in a positive way. They are thoughtful of each other’s feelings and always look to make sure their partner is happy and comfortable. Playing with another couple is clearly something they enjoy for the moment and then they reconnect.

Happy couples make swinging fun. They seem happy when they arrive and they look happy when they leave. On the other hand, couples with issues create an unpleasant atmosphere and are often seen arguing or fighting during or after lifestyle events. These are couples to avoid, after all, who wants to host a couple who will leave your home in a fight?

Swinging is wonderful when it is fun.

When swinging becomes work, most people would agree, they would prefer not to bother. Making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is the most important thing to remember. What is good for you, is good for them. Don’t do to your partner what you would not want to be done to you. If swinging can be done in a positive way, it will enrich your relationship. If you are swinging to make your partner happy, it will never work. Other couples will become the victims of your concession, and that benefits no one.

The next time you are looking for that perfect evening at home with that perfect swinging couple, think about them. Are they happy and drama-free? Do they frequently leave lifestyle events hand in hand or are they arguing as they leave? Is one of them enjoying the sex while the other is laying there staring at the ceiling?  These are things to consider if you want to have fun!

Good luck!

Looking for lifestyle jewelry so other swingers can find you?  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

The journey from unicorn to prostitute; something she never imagined would happen.

Unicorn turned prostitute wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry black ring

A few years ago, you urged me to write about why I had chosen to become a unicorn. It seemed to help people to understand that not every unicorn is in the lifestyle because they want to steal other women’s husbands.  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/unicorn/

My story today is how I took the leap from reliable second female in the FMF, into paid call girl.

Not long into the COVID crisis, I lost my job.  Having little savings and a steady stream of bills to pay, I began to feel desperate.

I had never thought of charging people money for sex, it actually happened rather organically.  

Swing clubs closed down in March and at first, my lifestyle friends resorted to throwing private parties.  They said they would keep everyone safe by only inviting “close” friends.  For me, this made no sense, and the last thing I needed, was to get sick.  I declined every invitation and was clear in explaining that it felt too risky.  

Those parties came to a screeching halt when sadly, several of the party-goers ended up in the hospital with COVID.  Those who did not feel sick quickly got tested to calm their fears.

Soon after, I began to get calls from couples I knew from the lifestyle.  Each asked casually if I would like to join them one evening for drinks at their home.  I might be single, but I’m not stupid.  When a  swinger couple invites me to their home, I know what they are expecting.

Sitting at home for weeks on end was causing me to suffer from cabin fever! When I accepted the first invitation, it never crossed my mind to ask for payment from them.  I was looking forward to a fun evening!  

The night with this couple was great and I felt relaxed knowing they had been tested after the party incident.  When the evening was over, the husband walked me out to my car.  He stuffed a wad of bills into my hand and thanked me.  I was shocked and said he was crazy, but he explained that he was simply trying to help me.  “We are friends, and I understand your current situation.  You need the money, just take it,” he said.  Thanking him, I kissed him and drove home.

Did this make me a prostitute?  Was I just paid for sex?  In my head, I really felt he was being kind and trying to help me.  It was true, I needed the money and I did take a risk going to their home.

A few days later, another couple called with a similar invitation.  I was less friendly with this couple and I hesitated.  Could I accept the invitation but tell them I would expect to be paid?  After considering how thrilled I was with the money I received last time, it was tempting.

I rehearsed what I would say and finally mustered up the courage to call them back.  Thankfully, the call went to voicemail.  It was a quick explanation of my current financial situation and the risk I was taking. I added that for some financial compensation, I would love to join them.

They did not call me back which made me feel awful.  Not because I cared about them, but I felt awful about myself.  During that first day, I went back and forth about it, but ultimately believed it was my right.  I don’t owe anybody anything and I am allowed to set the terms if people want to use me. 

Guess what?  Two days later, another couple phoned.  Same invitation and had already heard from the second couple.  They were happy to “help me out financially”!  I was thrilled!  This time I didn’t have to ask because they already knew.

And just like that, I had gone from unicorn, fun ‘extra’ female, to paid call girl!  The truth is, I don’t feel bad about it.  I am fulfilling a need for these couples and they are doing something to help me in return.  This is a win-win!

Do you like Kennedy’s black ring? Looking for swinger jewelry?  Find it here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Two lifestyle couples meet when one tattoos our symbol onto her face mask!

Hi Partners ID!

This coronavirus has really made everything lifestyle related very difficult.  We were planning to be on a lifestyle cruise in March but that was canceled.  April was filled with plans for private hotel parties and get-togethers with friends but obviously these plans were all canceled. 

While my boyfriend and I are enjoying the time at home, we do miss our lifestyle friends.  We have enjoyed a few zoom parties and virtual sex with friends but let’s face it, it’s not the same.  It is impossible to duplicate the feeling of meeting up with our friends, both old and new, for lifestyle-related fun.

Out of boredom the other day, I took a face mask and applied a tattoo that we received as a gift when we purchased jewelry from you.  My boyfriend loved it and so I made one for him as well.  We took pictures of ourselves and decided we had to wear them when we went out food shopping.  

It became obvious at the grocery store that nobody was paying any attention to me.  They would not see the symbol on my mask because people were mainly concerned with keeping their distance from each other.  We both wore our masks with the symbol each time we went out but it always seemed that people were more interested in avoiding other people than connecting.

Somehow, it always seems when you least expect it, someone seems to notice!  My dog wasn’t feeling well so I ran her over to see our vet.  Their office is very large so they simply ask the customers to social distance in the waiting room.  I was watching tv when a woman sitting across from me waved to get my attention.  As I looked up she pointed to my mask and told me she loved it and wanted to buy one.  Unsure if she really knew the meaning or liked the decoration I laughed.  She told me she was serious that she had a necklace with that pendant and then I knew.  

Honestly, I never expected anyone to know what the symbol meant but clearly I was wrong!  She gave me her phone number and I promised to make one for her.  How fun that we met this other couple from the mask!  Maybe you should consider selling masks!

I thought you would enjoy this!

Stay safe!

Cathy and Keith

Framingham, MA

To see our lifestyle jewelry and tattoos, visit us here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/shop

How easy it is to meet others swingers when you spot our lifestyle symbol.

 

Dear Partners ID,

We read all of your blogs and really enjoy reading about how people meet other swingers while wearing your jewelry. The need for a lifestyle symbol is over, you created it and it works.    Here is how we know this for sure!

A few months ago, we purchased two black rings from your website.  You were running a promotion that included a free bumper sticker.  When the package arrived, we slipped on the rings (which we love) and decided to put the bumper sticker on our mailbox.  The simple design seems to go unnoticed by people who don’t know what it means.

About one week after adhering the sticker, I found a plain white envelope on top of the mail left in the box.  It simply had our address scrawled on it.  I opened the envelope and there was a note with a business card.  I was about to toss it aside when I noticed the sexy couple pictured on the card.

The note was from a couple who passes our house every day on their way to work.  They noticed the sticker on the mailbox and wanted to say hi.  I picked up the card and looked carefully at the couple in the picture.  There was an email address and a Kasidie screen name.  

I ran to my computer and looked at their profile on Kasidie.  They looked to be a bit younger than we are but both looked attractive.  As soon as my husband returned home I showed him the note.  He was shocked that someone actually noticed the sticker and acted on it.

We sent an email and invited them for cocktails.  They accepted the invitation and we made plans for that same weekend.  Long story short, this couple lives one street over and our children go to school together.  This was the first time either of us had seen each other.  

Cocktails turned into a quick pizza dinner and they stayed well past midnight.  I would have liked to say we played with them but as I mentioned, we have children so that was not possible.  We do have plans to meet out for dinner and (maybe more) in a few weeks.  I can’t tell you how excited we are!  

They have been in the lifestyle for a few years and recognized the lifestyle sticker as soon as they saw it.  It took a few days to figure out how to approach us but this worked!

Thank you for the added gift!  We have new friends who live one block from us!  We would never have met them if not for the sticker!  

Looking forward to our future rendezvous!  

Big hugs!

Jessie and Brian

Livingston, NJ

We are still offering free bumper stickers (or mailbox stickers) for free with the purchase of 2 black rings.  You can see them here:

The Partners ID Black Lifestyle Ring – Buy 2 Rings get a FREE Bumper Sticker

 

When a couple in the lifestyle finds you!

Partners ID Necklace telling others your are in the lifestyle

Hi, Partners ID we have a story that we hope you will want to share with your readers. It happened over the winter holidays when my husband and I took a trip to the Cayman Islands.  

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years.  While lifestyle events are our favorite way to spend a weekend, we do not usually seek it out when we travel.  The thought of 7 or 8 days on a boat with lifestyle folk or even a resort does not really appeal to us.  An evening with another sexy couple is perfect for us, it’s just how we roll.

Before our children were out of school for winter break, we decided to book a quick getaway.  We love to snorkel so when we travel south, we like to try to work this into our plans.  Having heard that the Cayman Islands has some nice snorkeling opportunities, we decided to give it a try.  

The resort was beautiful and the weather was perfect.  We always wear our lifestyle jewelry and so naturally we traveled with our necklaces.  On our second day, we woke up early to catch the bus that was taking us on the snorkeling excursion.  There was a couple that we were drawn to but obviously we had no clue if they were being friendly or if they were in the lifestyle.  They had no reaction to our jewelry so we kept it vanilla.  

When we took the actual dive, we left our jewelry in our shoes to make sure they wouldn’t slip off while diving.  When we returned to the boat, one of the other guests on the excursion was holding  my necklace.  As we approached, he apologized for touching it but wanted to take a closer look at the design.  My husband and I looked at each other both wondering the same thing.  Did he know?  

Turns out he did!  His wife was still diving so we waited for her to return to the boat.  They both have pieces of your jewelry as well, they just did not bring them on the boat.  We did spend a rather enjoyable evening with our new friends!  They are also avid snorkelers and we have planned a trip  with them in June!  We booked adjoining rooms so that should be a blast!  

I just want to point out that this is exactly why we purchased this jewelry.  We were hoping that somewhere along the way we would make friends simply because they understood we are in the lifestyle too.  As for the first couple, I doubt they are swingers, they were simply being friendly.  What I love is that this allows us to meet each other without playing the game of are they or aren’t they.  We enjoyed a nice dinner with the couple we were unsure about but did not do anything that would make them feel uncomfortable.  No silly remarks about sex or being vanilla, we simply enjoyed them as ordinary friends.  Often, if we did play this game it would end badly with another couple thinking we were odd, or creepy.  This allows us to know without having to guess.

Thank you for making things easier for us! 

xoxo

Lauren and Peter

If you are looking for other couples in the lifestyle, why not try wearing our jewelry too!  Each piece has the internationally recognized symbol for swinger engraved onto it.  Stop wondering, start playing!  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

To learn more about the jewelry read here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/lifestyle-jewelry-2/

Why your attitude and demeanor are crucial to your success in a swing club.

 

couple in swing club wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

By now, for those who read my blogs, you know my husband and I spend a good amount of time in swing clubs.  This weekend was no different and we proudly made it out all 3 nights!  

It is in the swing club that I often find topics of interest.  This weekend we were talking about people’s demeanors and how this can affect their success in the lifestyle.  We observed an attractive woman talking with her husband at the bar.  She was smiling and seemed approachable but her husband looked angry and annoyed.  

Soon after first noticing them, they were passing by to walk to the dance floor and she stopped and said hello to us.  Her husband, still with a sour look on his face, stopped beside her.  We introduced ourselves and waited for them to do the same.  She kissed us hello and told us both of their names.  He simply nodded his head.  When we spoke to him he was cordial but never once smiled.   As they walked away we tried to imagine what kind of success they would have in a swing club.  

This man looked so unapproachable, it is hard to imagine that anyone would choose to engage in conversation with them.  We spotted them from time to time and his demeanor never changed.  Even on the dance floor, he looked miserable.  It is possible that he did not want to come to a swing club and was doing it for his wife.  If this was the case, I would understand.  Clearly, however, this man did not have to worry about other couples wanting to get close to them.

Oddly, when the couple was passing us to go back to their seats at the bar, she stopped to speak with my husband.  I smiled at her husband and he simply pretended to be interested in whatever was on the tv screen.  I laughed to myself because this woman was truly wasting her time.  At this point, even if this man suddenly wanted to play with me, I had zero interest.  

Swingers, in general, are warm and friendly people.  While there are exceptions to every rule, most people that we meet in swing clubs, are there to meet others.  For this reason, if someone conveys negativity, their chances of hooking up with others is very low.

I couldn’t help but wonder if she realized how he came across to other people.  Our assumption was that she brought him to the club and clearly, he did not appreciate being there.   We lost track of them but I imagine their night ended early.

This is not the first person in a swing club that I have observed with a chip on their shoulder. It continues to confuse me as to why people waste their time and money doing something they are clearly not interested in doing.  To please their partner?  Maybe, but obviously this generally backfires.  

Swinging is something that couples must approach together.  If a couple is not on the same page, this is the result.  Coming into a lifestyle situation with a closed mind is not going to yield a positive outcome, regardless of how much one person wants it to work.  

I considered that maybe this is simply the man’s disposition.  It is possible, however,  that he is one of those people whose resting facial expression leads people astray.  His wife did mention he is foreign, perhaps his country of origin does not expect people to smile and be up all the time.  Maybe he had a bad day at work or some other personal problem.  

Any of these things are possible and it was for that reason that when they stopped to talk, we made an effort to be warm to them both.  Not because we wanted to play with them, but simply to be nice and put him at ease.  This is where he fell short.  He had an opportunity to be friendly and he chose to be cold.

Much like when someone has bad breath and we wonder why their significant other doesn’t tell them, we questioned if she said something to him.  If the problem is that he is shy, his wife needs to help him engage when the opportunity presents itself.  If he is simply unfriendly, maybe they need to rethink the whole swing club idea.

Whatever the case, the bottom line is that a positive attitude and demeanor are important if you want to have success in a swing club.  There are too many friendly faces for people to waste their time trying to warm up someone who is just plain cold.

 

Most people love swinging when it’s easy.  Read more here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/drama/

Looking to find others in the lifestyle?  Try wearing our lifestyle jewelry, it’s the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

You’ll never guess who I watched having sex the other night; well, sort of…

Doppelganger having sex with swinger

They say we all have a twin somewhere out there; some use the phrase doppelgänger.   Last night in a swing club, I saw a man who could clearly be a famous man’s doppelgänger.  To see a doppelgänger that looks like George Clooney or Brad Pitt in a swing club would be awesome.  Unfortunately, this was neither.  This man could be Bernie Sanders’ identical twin.  No offense to Bernie, but this is not my dream man to see when I open my eyes because a stranger is touching me.  Nope, not even close…

There is no question, seeing someone who closely resembles a famous person can be exciting. For people who like to fantasize about having sex with someone famous, this can be a pretty close second.  Unfortunately, I’m not convinced that many women are fantasizing about Bernie Sanders.    It has nothing to do with his politics or even his likability, this is purely physical.  As I watched “Bernie” play with his wife, and then with another woman, I couldn’t help but imagine what he was saying to the woman he was on top of.  With his thick New York accent, I imagined him explaining why condoms for all, for free, was a wonderful idea. As a matter of fact, I’m still imagining his conversations:  he loves everything about the lifestyle!  Sharing is what it’s all about!  We all win when we share!

It got me to wondering what it might be like to see other doppelgängers in a swing club.  Surely, if you look that much like someone else, you are aware.  Either because you can see it for yourself, or because others frequently point it out to you.  I tried to imagine how a Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie or Blake Lively look alike might behave in a swing club.  

People who frequent swing clubs have little tolerance for arrogance.  The atmosphere is fun and friendly, and as we have discussed before, people who think they are too attractive for others, are not very successful in the lifestyle.  If, on the other hand, a friendly, hot, famous looking doppelgänger were to meander into a swing club, I imagine they would be quite popular.

This leads me to wonder about the next scenario.  What if your significant other’s twin showed up?  They clarify that they are not related.  Interested?  Maybe interested in playing with the two of them at the same time?  Now we’re talking…

What if your own doppelgänger appeared in a club one night.  How would you feel if your significant other was into her?  Happy that you are obviously his type?  Annoyed by the comparison?  Interested in playing as a threesome with her?

The Bernie Sanders’ doppelgänger is not the first person that I have seen in a swing club who genuinely looks like another famous person.  A few years ago I saw Kelly Conway and once, I saw my own sister.  When I approached her because the resemblance was uncanny, I think she thought I was trying to hit on her.  Probably the first time in my life I felt like a man.  No matter how hard I tried to explain, and even offered to show her a photo, she seemed creeped out.  It still makes me laugh.

Maybe one day I will get to experience the fantasy of having sex with a famous man (or woman) who turns me on.  Like I tell my husband, the more time we spend in the lifestyle, the better the odds.  For now, I have Bernie Sanders on the brain.  It’s hard to shake the image of him having sex in front of me.

Looking to find other swingers?  It’s simple!  Look for their jewelry!  Find your lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Are you looking to swing but don’t know how to bring it up with your partners?  Read here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/swinging/