How this NY couple discovered their friends are swingers too!

Swinger symbol jewelry necklace

Dear Partners ID,

We often read your blogs and always enjoy the stories about how other swingers have met each other because of your jewelry.  I have to admit, we were not even in the lifestyle when we first came across your website.  We found it because we were researching swinging to decide if seemed like a good fit for us.  

One of your blogs popped up when we first began our search and we liked Penny’s tongue in cheek style of writing.  We have been reading them ever since.

My wife and I are in our mid-fifties and have been married for a little over 20 years.  We have one son who no longer lives at home so we are now essentially empty nesters.  Sex has always been an important part of our relationship, so it was natural for us to look for something erotic that we could do as a couple.  

When we investigated swinging, we were totally shocked to read so many forums debating what age is too old to swing.  I, for one, imagined swinging was something for older couples who had been married for many years.  Baby boomers came to mind when I thought of swingers.  After all, isn’t swinging something couples do to spice up their marriage?  

Clearly, I was wrong.  Swingers seem to range in age from 20s through 60s (and even 70s).  Wow!  So we had to hit the reset button and try to open our minds to what swinging actually encompasses.  

We began checking out some swinger dating sites and looked to see if there were any swing clubs within a reasonable distance to our home.  All the while, my wife and I couldn’t help but wonder if we weren’t actually already friends with swingers.  Would we know?  

Next, we bought a necklace for each of us and wore them every time we went out.  

Well, it didn’t take long!  The second weekend after receiving the jewelry, we wore our necklaces to a friend’s housewarming party.  A couple we have known for at least 5 or 6 years approached us not long after we arrived.  They kissed us hello and the woman turned to her husband and said, “I knew it!”

She moved close to my wife and fondled the pendant which was hanging from her necklace.   We both looked at them, hoping we understood what was happening.  

What we discovered was that we do have friends in the lifestyle!  The funny thing is that they suspected we were swingers long before we had ever thought about it.  

The best part about this, is that we have friends who are now helping us to navigate the lifestyle!

Thank you for the lovely jewelry, we will keep you up to date on our new adventures!

Stay well,

Julie and Mark

Great Neck, NY

Looking to meet other swingers? Wearing our lifestyle jewelry makes it easy for others to know that you too are in the lifestyle!

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Important qualities to look for, and what to avoid, when choosing a couple with whom to swing.

Swinger couple smiling wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

Why is swinging sometimes more enjoyable than others?

Swingers are always looking to meet the right couple (In this blog we are talking about couples) with whom to play. While we cannot predict which time it will work perfectly, there must be reasons why sometimes swinging is so much better than others.

What makes some experiences so much more positive than others?

You invite another couple to your home for an evening with the hopes of swinging. First, you have drinks, then a nice dinner, conversation, and then you settle in for some fun.

Take your time and make sure everyone seems to be on the same page.

Everything up to this point has been fun and easy. The hot tub looks inviting and so you all decide to climb in. It doesn’t take long for you and your partner to switch with the other couple and start fooling around.

One couple moves inside to the bedroom while the other couple remains outside. You play for a brief time and soon your partner arrives at the bed with the other person. Everyone kisses each other and lightly touches as they move next to you on the bed. The next few hours are fun and everyone is happy.

You see, swinging is so easy, right?

The answer is, when the situation works, yes. When everyone is on the same page and nobody feels slighted or left out, this is the result. Easy, fun, and you and your partner are happy.

Why then is it so often more complicated than this? What happens to contribute to a negative experience?

In my opinion, there are many variables when playing with other couples. One important factor is that both members of the couple are interested in playing with the couple you choose. If one is doing it to please the other, it will not work. We speak often about taking one for the team. While it is unavoidable at times, when planning an evening with specific people, there is no excuse for this.

What are some of the characteristics that make couples a bad choice when trying to decide?

(We are not talking about strangers here, we are strictly speaking about couples you have met before.) Some couples cannot seem to avoid drama. Either there are jealousy issues, one person is more eager to play and the other seems to simply go along, they bad mouth other swingers, some have insecurity issues, etc. Any of these issues will undoubtedly cause trouble when you try to swing with them. Besides, who wants to play with a couple who is going to talk about you after the fact?

What are some qualities you should look for in other swingers?

Good choices are couples who are connected to each other. It is clear that they love and support one another. They do not speak negatively about their partner or claim to be a better catch than their significant other.

Connected couples speak highly of one another and interact in a positive way. They are thoughtful of each other’s feelings and always look to make sure their partner is happy and comfortable. Playing with another couple is clearly something they enjoy for the moment and then they reconnect.

Happy couples make swinging fun. They seem happy when they arrive and they look happy when they leave. On the other hand, couples with issues create an unpleasant atmosphere and are often seen arguing or fighting during or after lifestyle events. These are couples to avoid, after all, who wants to host a couple who will leave your home in a fight?

Swinging is wonderful when it is fun.

When swinging becomes work, most people would agree, they would prefer not to bother. Making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is the most important thing to remember. What is good for you, is good for them. Don’t do to your partner what you would not want to be done to you. If swinging can be done in a positive way, it will enrich your relationship. If you are swinging to make your partner happy, it will never work. Other couples will become the victims of your concession, and that benefits no one.

The next time you are looking for that perfect evening at home with that perfect swinging couple, think about them. Are they happy and drama-free? Do they frequently leave lifestyle events hand in hand or are they arguing as they leave? Is one of them enjoying the sex while the other is laying there staring at the ceiling?  These are things to consider if you want to have fun!

Good luck!

Looking for lifestyle jewelry so other swingers can find you?  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

The journey from unicorn to prostitute; something she never imagined would happen.

Unicorn turned prostitute wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry black ring

A few years ago, you urged me to write about why I had chosen to become a unicorn. It seemed to help people to understand that not every unicorn is in the lifestyle because they want to steal other women’s husbands.  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/unicorn/

My story today is how I took the leap from reliable second female in the FMF, into paid call girl.

Not long into the COVID crisis, I lost my job.  Having little savings and a steady stream of bills to pay, I began to feel desperate.

I had never thought of charging people money for sex, it actually happened rather organically.  

Swing clubs closed down in March and at first, my lifestyle friends resorted to throwing private parties.  They said they would keep everyone safe by only inviting “close” friends.  For me, this made no sense, and the last thing I needed, was to get sick.  I declined every invitation and was clear in explaining that it felt too risky.  

Those parties came to a screeching halt when sadly, several of the party-goers ended up in the hospital with COVID.  Those who did not feel sick quickly got tested to calm their fears.

Soon after, I began to get calls from couples I knew from the lifestyle.  Each asked casually if I would like to join them one evening for drinks at their home.  I might be single, but I’m not stupid.  When a  swinger couple invites me to their home, I know what they are expecting.

Sitting at home for weeks on end was causing me to suffer from cabin fever! When I accepted the first invitation, it never crossed my mind to ask for payment from them.  I was looking forward to a fun evening!  

The night with this couple was great and I felt relaxed knowing they had been tested after the party incident.  When the evening was over, the husband walked me out to my car.  He stuffed a wad of bills into my hand and thanked me.  I was shocked and said he was crazy, but he explained that he was simply trying to help me.  “We are friends, and I understand your current situation.  You need the money, just take it,” he said.  Thanking him, I kissed him and drove home.

Did this make me a prostitute?  Was I just paid for sex?  In my head, I really felt he was being kind and trying to help me.  It was true, I needed the money and I did take a risk going to their home.

A few days later, another couple called with a similar invitation.  I was less friendly with this couple and I hesitated.  Could I accept the invitation but tell them I would expect to be paid?  After considering how thrilled I was with the money I received last time, it was tempting.

I rehearsed what I would say and finally mustered up the courage to call them back.  Thankfully, the call went to voicemail.  It was a quick explanation of my current financial situation and the risk I was taking. I added that for some financial compensation, I would love to join them.

They did not call me back which made me feel awful.  Not because I cared about them, but I felt awful about myself.  During that first day, I went back and forth about it, but ultimately believed it was my right.  I don’t owe anybody anything and I am allowed to set the terms if people want to use me. 

Guess what?  Two days later, another couple phoned.  Same invitation and had already heard from the second couple.  They were happy to “help me out financially”!  I was thrilled!  This time I didn’t have to ask because they already knew.

And just like that, I had gone from unicorn, fun ‘extra’ female, to paid call girl!  The truth is, I don’t feel bad about it.  I am fulfilling a need for these couples and they are doing something to help me in return.  This is a win-win!

Do you like Kennedy’s black ring? Looking for swinger jewelry?  Find it here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Two lifestyle couples meet when one tattoos our symbol onto her face mask!

Hi Partners ID!

This coronavirus has really made everything lifestyle related very difficult.  We were planning to be on a lifestyle cruise in March but that was canceled.  April was filled with plans for private hotel parties and get-togethers with friends but obviously these plans were all canceled. 

While my boyfriend and I are enjoying the time at home, we do miss our lifestyle friends.  We have enjoyed a few zoom parties and virtual sex with friends but let’s face it, it’s not the same.  It is impossible to duplicate the feeling of meeting up with our friends, both old and new, for lifestyle-related fun.

Out of boredom the other day, I took a face mask and applied a tattoo that we received as a gift when we purchased jewelry from you.  My boyfriend loved it and so I made one for him as well.  We took pictures of ourselves and decided we had to wear them when we went out food shopping.  

It became obvious at the grocery store that nobody was paying any attention to me.  They would not see the symbol on my mask because people were mainly concerned with keeping their distance from each other.  We both wore our masks with the symbol each time we went out but it always seemed that people were more interested in avoiding other people than connecting.

Somehow, it always seems when you least expect it, someone seems to notice!  My dog wasn’t feeling well so I ran her over to see our vet.  Their office is very large so they simply ask the customers to social distance in the waiting room.  I was watching tv when a woman sitting across from me waved to get my attention.  As I looked up she pointed to my mask and told me she loved it and wanted to buy one.  Unsure if she really knew the meaning or liked the decoration I laughed.  She told me she was serious that she had a necklace with that pendant and then I knew.  

Honestly, I never expected anyone to know what the symbol meant but clearly I was wrong!  She gave me her phone number and I promised to make one for her.  How fun that we met this other couple from the mask!  Maybe you should consider selling masks!

I thought you would enjoy this!

Stay safe!

Cathy and Keith

Framingham, MA

To see our lifestyle jewelry and tattoos, visit us here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/shop

Have you ever been sure another couple swings but did not want to ask?

Woman at barbecue with swingers necklace

Hi Partners ID,

This story should help others realize why this jewelry is important.  Everyone in the lifestyle spends so much time trying to find other swingers.  Half the time, they are right under your nose, you just don’t realize it!

My wife and I are big football fans.  Having both grown up in the same state, we are fortunate to root for the same team. Our three boys are also very big fans of the sport as well.  For years we had 5 season tickets and never missed a game.  We tailgated before every game and never left before it was over. 

Now that our sons are grown and have lives of their own, it is just the two of us attending games.  We still enjoy tailgating and have met many people over the years who do the same.  

Here’s the part you are waiting for.  As we have met many couples over the years at football games, we have had our suspicions  about which ones might be in the lifestyle.  Although we have always prided ourselves on having an ability to pick out the swingers, this was not a place we wanted to take the chance.  We tried dropping hints, using the term vanilla, etc., but no bites from any of the couples we suspected.   It got to the point that my wife wanted to simply ask two of the couples.  She was so sure that they were both in the lifestyle.  I begged her not to out us to this group just in case she was wrong.

Many couples at our local swing club wear Partners ID jewelry.  Having admired it for so long, we decided to each buy a piece.  As we know by now, most swingers are aware of your jewelry and so we decided to wear ours to a football game.  We made sure it was easy for other people to see it during the tailgating party.  We made it a point to speak with all the couples we had suspected might be in the lifestyle.  Nothing!  I had a moment when someone admired it but I realized it was just a compliment and nothing more.  It seemed pretty obvious that these couples were probably not swingers. 

During the game, I left my wife to go the restroom.  When I returned, a woman was sitting in my seat chatting with my wife.  When she saw me she jumped up.  She took out her cellphone and handed it to my wife, who inputted her number and said we would be in touch.  My wife introduced me to the woman before she quickly returned to her own seat.  

Guess what, she saw the jewelry!  They have had the seats a few rows in front of us for 7 years and had often waved to us.  Although, prior to today, we had no way of knowing, they are swingers!  

We did meet them for drinks the following weekend and they are a super couple. It turns out, this couple noticed us about 5 years ago.  They had no idea we were in the lifestyle and had no intentions of ever asking.  It was the jewelry that told them that we are swingers!  There is no question that we will see them again soon.

The most unfortunate part of this story is that it made us think about all of the missed opportunities.  Obviously this is not the only time we have been around other swingers and simply had no way of knowing.  

We now wear it everyday and look forward to discovering who else we have been overlooking all of this time!

Thanks for listening!

Warmest wishes,

David and Kate

Miami, FL

See the beautiful jewelry David and Kate were wearing here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Ecstasy party PART 2; it was just as hilarious the second time.

Ecstasy fueled party goers.

So the first ecstasy party was a flop.  Nobody enjoyed the experience, yet everyone was willing to come back and try again.  This time we decided to invite another couple and one couple asked to bring a couple as well.  The couple that we invited, were planning to take the ecstasy with us.  The other couple, for some reason, was not included in this plan and were not told we would all be high. 

Again, all of the couples were instructed to arrive promptly so we could take it at the same time.  We again followed the advice about what and when to eat prior to taking the pill. 

 Our friend unfolded his napkin and cut the pink hearts into pieces.  After my first experience, I asked for a smaller piece hoping the effect would be lessened.  

One couple was running late so we decided not to wait for them.  All of the other couples who had planned to take it were at our house, the one who did not know about it had not yet arrived.

We each took our portion and went outside to wait for the others to arrive.  The couple who was planning to take it, arrived about an hour later, a short time after it had started to hit us all.  They were met in the kitchen by the man with the pills and they each took a half.  

The woman went outside to greet me and when she discovered I was not outside, it didn’t take her long to find me.  There I was, standing by the restroom door, staring up at the light.  Lying on the floor next to me was my friend who was looking for the draft from under the door.  She thought it was hilarious but my friend and I agreed that we already regretted the decision to do this again.

We all went outside and a short time later I heard the doorbell ring.  I opened it and was greeted by the couple that had been invited by my friend.  They held up a bag and followed me into the kitchen.  The man reached in and pulled out a shrimp platter and a bag of uncooked rice.  He started asking me where he could find different utensils in the kitchen.  I was so high at this point that I couldn’t cope so I turned around and walked away.  Luckily, one woman (Snow White), did not take ecstasy this time and stepped in to help him.  

Reflecting back on this moment the next day, I conceded that I was not getting the hostess of the year award.  I literally turned my back on one friend in the hot tub at the first party and this time I walked away while this guest was asking for something.  Ecstasy does not make me friendly or warm…

The party once again found its way into the hot tub.  (Yes, we have since learned that dancing and staying active would have yielded a different result.)  The friend who had arrived later started to feel the effects and was lying across everyone while we sat in the hot tub.  Not for a sexual reason but simply because she thought there was plenty of room (which, as you can see from the picture, is not entirely accurate).

The mood was relaxed, everyone was naked and thankfully, Snow White was not high, but rather nursing a drink.  The woman who took ecstasy but did not attend the first party started to get frisky.  She was asking to suck everyone’s toes and was moving from lap to lap giving everyone a kiss.  For me, the effect was the same and as soon as she started bugging me to let her suck my toes I had to leave for the restroom.  

Somehow getting sick seems to make the effect of the ecstasy easier for me to handle.  Even though I took a smaller piece, it was still way too intense.   Just like the first time, this took the edge off and I felt ok.  

As I passed the family room on my way back outside, Snow White and the new man (who also did not take anything) were getting busy on the sofa.  Finally, there were people playing at our swinger party!

Outside, I noticed this man’s wife was sitting quietly with Snow White’s husband away from the group.  I could smell that they were smoking weed while deep in conversation.  

I slipped back into the hot tub, drink in hand, to catch up with what had been happening.  Everyone was still chatting but they were getting warmer and there was some kissing and touching between couples.  Soon the friend who thought our hot tub had ample room to lie across and her husband left for inside.  With more room for everyone, we tried once again to see how well ecstasy works for playtime.

Unfortunately, the answer is it did not work at all.  Now there were 5 men and it did not work for any of them.  The newcomer was shocked and said this was not typical for him at all.  We all laughed because we had heard this before.  

Eventually, we gave up the dream of sex and moved the party across the porch for some birthday cake.  It was a large sheet cake with a naked 3-D woman with very large breasts.  We sang happy birthday and everyone gathered around to eat some cake.  The woman who had been smoking pot leaned over the cake and took an entire buttercream boob into her mouth.  Seeing this made me feel nauseous all over again and I went into the house to cool off and see some light (has a very calming effect for some reason).  

On my way back outside, I was passing through our sliding glass doors.  When one side is open, the other side is housing that piece of glass so it is closed.  As I walked over the threshold I noticed the girl who was smoking pot walking into the house on the other side of the door.  Before I could react, she walked face-first into the glass.  She literally fell backward and I could see the blood on her face as she fell.  It was so shocking and as I looked behind her, everyone was gasping and laughing simultaneously.  It was not funny but don’t forget we were all wasted!  

Thankfully she was ok.  

The rest of the night passed without any more problems (thankfully).  

My take away from these two parties is the danger we put ourselves in when taking drugs.  During both parties, we had to deal with either illness or injury.  Luckily neither was serious enough to require outside help but I’m not sure we were capable of making good decisions either time.   What if our children had called and needed our assistance?  Neither of us was in any condition to help.  

Neither of us regrets our decision to try ecstasy but neither of us has any interest in taking it again.  Alcohol is at least predictable and controllable as long as we drink in moderation.

As Monogamish Marriage said in her reply to our story, “Wow! This is an ecstasy-driven comedy of errors! Hilarious to read now, but probably not so funny at the time.”  That sums it up!

If you did not read part 1 you can find it here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/ecstasy/

To read Monogamish Marriages’ experience with MDMA, click here: https://themonogamishmarriage.com/2020/03/09/sex-on-mdma/ 

Looking for other swingers? Find it here: 

Our hilarious experience taking ecstasy; part one of two…

 Ecstasy fueled party goers.

After reading about Monogamish Marriage’s* experience with MDMA, I thought I would write about our experience with Ecstasy.  

A few years ago we invited a friend for lunch on a Sunday afternoon.  As soon as he arrived, he took off his baseball cap and put his hand deep into the front pocket of his jeans.  He pulled out a white tissue which had been carefully folded.  Delicately placing the curious tissue on our countertop, he slowly unfolded and yelled, “Look what I have!”  My husband and I took a step forward to peer into the now open tissue.  

There inside the fold of the napkin lay 3 little pink heart-shaped pills.  I have to be honest, I had no idea what I was looking at, neither did my husband.  “Ecstasy,” he cried, “we are all going to take it this afternoon, it will be a blast.”

Shaking my head I turned away from the counter and told him no way, not interested.  My husband agreed that this was not his thing.  I will say that when I was in high school and college, I would have grabbed one and taken it without asking any questions.  For me, those days ended when I graduated from college.  For my husband, those days never existed and he never experimented with drugs at all.  

After desperately trying to persuade us to try this, our friend gave up.   The disappointment on his face was obvious.  He spent the entire afternoon extolling the virtues of taking ecstasy and how amazing sex is for everyone when they are high.  He even went as far as to tell my husband that his erection would be like never before.  

After he left, my husband seemed to take up his cause.  It doesn’t take a whole lot to persuade me to do things, and so I conceded. We decided it would be fun to have a small party and all the guests would take one half of a pill.

Soon the party was planned and we would be four couples.  Everyone was excited and arrived promptly so that we could all take a pill at the same time.  We were given our dietary instructions from the friend who had brought the pills and he was in charge of handing out the half pink hearts as each guest arrived.  We all swallowed our pills at the same time and went outside to listen to music.  Although he encouraged us not to drink alcohol, one couple did drink champagne.  

Almost exactly one hour later, I began to feel the effects.  It hit me so hard and fast that I was unable to speak.  I sat watching as the others seemed to notice that it was working.  The man who had been drinking suddenly felt very ill.  He started to sweat and felt palpitations in his heart.  As some of the others scrambled to help him, I literally could not move.  One of the men suggested that perhaps they should throw him into the pool to cool him off.  Sadly, I was the only one with any medical background and I couldn’t do anything but sit and pray that they didn’t do that because I was afraid the consequences could be deadly.  

Luckily, the initial reaction for this friend soon passed and he seemed to feel ok. One woman claimed she felt nothing and quickly took another half to “catch up”.  

We soon moved the party into the hot tub where we imagined all of the fun would begin.  The water was warm and everyone got comfortable.  The woman sitting next to me tapped me on the shoulder and in a baby voice said, “I’m Snow White and you are Cinderella!”  I literally couldn’t deal with such a nonsensical conversation and simply turned my back to her.  She continued to say this over and over to me until I started to feel sick. 

I made my way to the restroom and threw up.  Walking out of the restroom one of my friends was lying on the floor in front of a closed bedroom door.  She told me she was so hot she couldn’t stand it and could feel the breeze coming from underneath the door.  For me, I felt better when I looked into the light, so I stood staring up into the light from above.  Another friend found us and brought us back into the hot tub.

After getting sick, I felt much more in control.  I had a small drink and the feeling was now very nice.  (I was told liquor kills the effect of ecstasy and this was intentional).  The men were anxious to test out how sex would feel while high.  Unfortunately, 4 out of 4 men could not get any erection at all, which I found to be hilarious.  It did not matter what they tried, nothing worked.  As for the women, they said they felt no heightened interest in sex from taking the ecstasy, myself included.

The night ended as soon as everyone felt back to normal.  Only the woman who took the other half reported feeling high well into the next day.  Our friend who provided the pills was disappointed and said it must have been that batch because the reaction was not normal.

We did try it one more time at our next party.  I will write about that soon…

*You can find Monogamish Marriage’s experience here:  https://themonogamishmarriage.com/2020/03/09/sex-on-mdma/

Looking to find other swingers?  Why not wear lifestyle jewelry, it takes the guess work out!  Find it here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

When a couple in the lifestyle finds you!

Partners ID Necklace telling others your are in the lifestyle

Hi, Partners ID we have a story that we hope you will want to share with your readers. It happened over the winter holidays when my husband and I took a trip to the Cayman Islands.  

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years.  While lifestyle events are our favorite way to spend a weekend, we do not usually seek it out when we travel.  The thought of 7 or 8 days on a boat with lifestyle folk or even a resort does not really appeal to us.  An evening with another sexy couple is perfect for us, it’s just how we roll.

Before our children were out of school for winter break, we decided to book a quick getaway.  We love to snorkel so when we travel south, we like to try to work this into our plans.  Having heard that the Cayman Islands has some nice snorkeling opportunities, we decided to give it a try.  

The resort was beautiful and the weather was perfect.  We always wear our lifestyle jewelry and so naturally we traveled with our necklaces.  On our second day, we woke up early to catch the bus that was taking us on the snorkeling excursion.  There was a couple that we were drawn to but obviously we had no clue if they were being friendly or if they were in the lifestyle.  They had no reaction to our jewelry so we kept it vanilla.  

When we took the actual dive, we left our jewelry in our shoes to make sure they wouldn’t slip off while diving.  When we returned to the boat, one of the other guests on the excursion was holding  my necklace.  As we approached, he apologized for touching it but wanted to take a closer look at the design.  My husband and I looked at each other both wondering the same thing.  Did he know?  

Turns out he did!  His wife was still diving so we waited for her to return to the boat.  They both have pieces of your jewelry as well, they just did not bring them on the boat.  We did spend a rather enjoyable evening with our new friends!  They are also avid snorkelers and we have planned a trip  with them in June!  We booked adjoining rooms so that should be a blast!  

I just want to point out that this is exactly why we purchased this jewelry.  We were hoping that somewhere along the way we would make friends simply because they understood we are in the lifestyle too.  As for the first couple, I doubt they are swingers, they were simply being friendly.  What I love is that this allows us to meet each other without playing the game of are they or aren’t they.  We enjoyed a nice dinner with the couple we were unsure about but did not do anything that would make them feel uncomfortable.  No silly remarks about sex or being vanilla, we simply enjoyed them as ordinary friends.  Often, if we did play this game it would end badly with another couple thinking we were odd, or creepy.  This allows us to know without having to guess.

Thank you for making things easier for us! 

xoxo

Lauren and Peter

If you are looking for other couples in the lifestyle, why not try wearing our jewelry too!  Each piece has the internationally recognized symbol for swinger engraved onto it.  Stop wondering, start playing!  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

To learn more about the jewelry read here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/lifestyle-jewelry-2/

Why your attitude and demeanor are crucial to your success in a swing club.

 

couple in swing club wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

By now, for those who read my blogs, you know my husband and I spend a good amount of time in swing clubs.  This weekend was no different and we proudly made it out all 3 nights!  

It is in the swing club that I often find topics of interest.  This weekend we were talking about people’s demeanors and how this can affect their success in the lifestyle.  We observed an attractive woman talking with her husband at the bar.  She was smiling and seemed approachable but her husband looked angry and annoyed.  

Soon after first noticing them, they were passing by to walk to the dance floor and she stopped and said hello to us.  Her husband, still with a sour look on his face, stopped beside her.  We introduced ourselves and waited for them to do the same.  She kissed us hello and told us both of their names.  He simply nodded his head.  When we spoke to him he was cordial but never once smiled.   As they walked away we tried to imagine what kind of success they would have in a swing club.  

This man looked so unapproachable, it is hard to imagine that anyone would choose to engage in conversation with them.  We spotted them from time to time and his demeanor never changed.  Even on the dance floor, he looked miserable.  It is possible that he did not want to come to a swing club and was doing it for his wife.  If this was the case, I would understand.  Clearly, however, this man did not have to worry about other couples wanting to get close to them.

Oddly, when the couple was passing us to go back to their seats at the bar, she stopped to speak with my husband.  I smiled at her husband and he simply pretended to be interested in whatever was on the tv screen.  I laughed to myself because this woman was truly wasting her time.  At this point, even if this man suddenly wanted to play with me, I had zero interest.  

Swingers, in general, are warm and friendly people.  While there are exceptions to every rule, most people that we meet in swing clubs, are there to meet others.  For this reason, if someone conveys negativity, their chances of hooking up with others is very low.

I couldn’t help but wonder if she realized how he came across to other people.  Our assumption was that she brought him to the club and clearly, he did not appreciate being there.   We lost track of them but I imagine their night ended early.

This is not the first person in a swing club that I have observed with a chip on their shoulder. It continues to confuse me as to why people waste their time and money doing something they are clearly not interested in doing.  To please their partner?  Maybe, but obviously this generally backfires.  

Swinging is something that couples must approach together.  If a couple is not on the same page, this is the result.  Coming into a lifestyle situation with a closed mind is not going to yield a positive outcome, regardless of how much one person wants it to work.  

I considered that maybe this is simply the man’s disposition.  It is possible, however,  that he is one of those people whose resting facial expression leads people astray.  His wife did mention he is foreign, perhaps his country of origin does not expect people to smile and be up all the time.  Maybe he had a bad day at work or some other personal problem.  

Any of these things are possible and it was for that reason that when they stopped to talk, we made an effort to be warm to them both.  Not because we wanted to play with them, but simply to be nice and put him at ease.  This is where he fell short.  He had an opportunity to be friendly and he chose to be cold.

Much like when someone has bad breath and we wonder why their significant other doesn’t tell them, we questioned if she said something to him.  If the problem is that he is shy, his wife needs to help him engage when the opportunity presents itself.  If he is simply unfriendly, maybe they need to rethink the whole swing club idea.

Whatever the case, the bottom line is that a positive attitude and demeanor are important if you want to have success in a swing club.  There are too many friendly faces for people to waste their time trying to warm up someone who is just plain cold.

 

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