Le Club L; worthy of a special trip to Montreal!

 

Le Club L, Canada

Imagine stepping into a club which is illuminated by soft lighting and glistening colors of pink and blue. Sophisticated white leather sofas and gorgeous side tables strategically surrounding a dance floor. An elegant white stone bar with comfortable bar stools and beautiful bartenders waiting to pour your favorite drink. Beautiful couples waiting to meet you and get to know you. An atmosphere which pulsates with the promise of a night to remember. Welcome to Le Club L…

It is rare that a physical space can actually evoke a sensual feeling. This club has a vibe, unlike any other club we have visited. The sheer beauty of this club is overwhelming.

When the doors open to the interior of the club, it is impossible not to stop and try to take it all in. The vast three-story interior forces you to gaze up at the titillating colors that shimmer from the playrooms on the top floor. Beautiful hues of blues, greens, and pinks teasing you to come upstairs and investigate these gorgeous promises of late-night play.

The architecture of this prior bank building is impossible to ignore but it is the transformation that is most remarkable. The incorporation of the historic with the new makes this space spectacular.

The intricate details of this club’s interior are worthy of mention in Architectural Digest. The wrought iron banisters which glide easily up the circular staircase, the soft texture of the pillowy leather-clad walls, the colors which look like delicious candy. It all adds up to a seduction of the senses.

True to the club’s European style is a restaurant on the second floor which resembles a French cafe. The menu has many tempting tapas and meal choices which are perfect for this type of venue. It was a special treat to be able to watch the bar crowd and dance floor while we enjoyed a variety of delicious dishes.

Le Club L _ Montreal

This beautiful club is located in the fabulous city of Montreal and we believe it should be on your list of places to visit. For those of you who do not think of Canada as a sexy destination, think again! Unlike in most cities and states in the US, swinging is legal throughout Canada. This could be one of the reasons why Canadians are so open-minded!
Another perk to consider: when traveling to Canada: how strong the US dollar is versus the Canadian dollar. The currency exchange between the two countries weighs heavily in favor of the US. The current exchange rate between the Canadian and American currency is close to 35%. This means you get a lot more for your money in Canada!

Having heard so many wonderful things about Le Club El, we decided to visit on a Saturday night while vacationing in Montreal.

The club was easy to find and we were given a warm greeting by the woman in the reception area. We were delighted to learn that Le Club L offers a free one-night membership card to all non-residents of Quebec!

After the reception area, we were greeted by a gentleman who offered us a tour of the club. As soon as the door was opened and we stepped inside, we were stunned by the beauty of the club. The transformation of this former bank, with its spectacular lighting and posh updating, makes this club a must-see!

Kudos to the owners of this beautiful new establishment for their exquisite taste and this bold endeavor. They are not the only game in town, and another well-known club is not more than one mile away.

As soon as we entered the club we were greeted with warm smiles and introductions. The bartenders were quick to serve our drinks and when we spotted a cozy restaurant upstairs, we were excited to try the food. The menu offers an enticing array of choices starting with tapas and ending with desserts. The waitress was very friendly and the food was delicious!

The crowd was classy, attractive and friendly. We never felt like outsiders and it was easy to mingle. The music was upbeat and current, which kept the dance floor moving throughout the evening.

Le Club L - Back Room

After midnight we moved upstairs, which is where the rather large and interesting labyrinth of play areas are situated. Guests are not required to remove their clothing to enter, which is more common than not in Canada. The play area consists of many rooms to choose from, all of which boast clean sheets, condoms, and wipes. If a small, intimate room does not appeal to you, the original table from the former bank’s conference room remains intact and ready to be played upon.

The play area is well tended to by an employee who changes the sheets as guests finish playing. There are shades and doors which allow for privacy if so desired. An added benefit is the perfect temperature, which ensures that the guests will be comfortable both while clothed and when undressed.

Remember the name: Le Club L. It should be on your list of clubs to visit. Montreal is a beautiful city and now has even more to offer! If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to incorporate some lifestyle fun into your next vacation, definitely visit this club. You won’t be disappointed!

For more information about Le Club L, visit their website here:  http://www.leclubl.com

Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry when traveling to Canada!  Find your’s here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/ 

The lifestyle can be difficult for new swingers to navigate. Where should they start?

New swingers wearing Partners ID jewelry reading newspaper

The lifestyle can be difficult for new swingers.  Where should they start?

Swinging used to be relatively easy for new couples to navigate.   The internet was not yet born.  Those who were looking to swing had to find ads in magazines or learn by word of mouth.  Naturally, swing clubs were pretty much the only place you could go to find a group of swingers.  Meet and greets and private parties were very difficult to find.  These were not things people were advertising in magazines.  There were no real choices to be made when it came to swinging.  If you wanted to see what it was all about, you would head out to a swing club.

With the popularity of the internet, this has all changed.  It is easy to look up swinger events, clubs and venues online. This, however, does not mean it is easy to figure out how to begin your swinging career!  Every blog you read tells you something different.  Some say online dating sites are the best while others say steer clear of them.  Some writers recommend visiting a swingers resort while others say that is a terrible introduction to swinging.

On your first night it will benefit you to be content to sit back and observe.

Every swinger was at one time new to the lifestyle, or in swingers terms a “newbie”.   The first time we went to a swing club, the manager gave us a tour.  When he was finished, we were left inside to fend for ourselves.  It was the first time I had ever felt like the two of us were one person.  Although we were together, we were actually alone.

We looked around the club and it felt like everyone knew each other.  There were clearly a bunch of different cliques of people.  As we sat and watched, we wondered how we would ever meet people.  It felt like everyone seemed to belong, except for us.  After assessing the situation (and throwing back a few shots), we got up the nerve to dance.  People on the dance floor smiled at us and one couple even came over and asked us if we were new.  Is it that obvious, I wondered?  We said we were and they introduced themselves.  With that, a couple they knew walked over and they turned their attention to the other couple. Since this was our first time at a swing club, we were content to just observe the crowd and go home early.

On your second visit you will have a better idea of how the club works; this will make it more comfortable.

A few weeks later, we decided to try it again.  This time I knew how to dress and what to expect.  That made a big difference in the way we handled ourselves when we walked in.   First of all, we decided to get there early so it was not very busy when we arrived.  We went right to the bar and got our drinks.

We looked around to see if we could find the couple that had introduced themselves to us on the dance floor, but they were not there.  There was a couple sitting on a couch by themselves so we walked over and asked if we could sit.  They were very friendly and seemed happy to meet a new couple.  We were not looking so much to swing with them, as we were looking to meet people to talk to.

Soon, the couch was filled with couples they knew, and they introduced us to them.  Just like that, on our second night in this swing club we had met about ten couples.  This is a very easy way for newbies to be introduced to swingers and the lifestyle.  Most of the couples we met that night were regulars at this club.  This meant that when we decided to return for another night, chances are, at least a few of them would be there so we wouldn’t have to be alone.

A swing club allowed us the opportunity to see what it was all about while taking it at our own pace. We did not feel any pressure to do anything that was out of our comfort zone.  Nobody was counting on us to make the night a success.  The club environment allows you the freedom to arrive and leave on your own schedule (unlike private parties, where people are counting on you). When we did not feel comfortable talking to a couple we simply left to dance or excused ourselves to get another drink.  People were both friendly and respectful.

Don’t rush the process, make sure you are both ready before you take the next step.

Nothing causes a couple to fail at swinging more than when one person is pushing the other to do something that makes them uncomfortable.  It is normal to get caught up in the excitement of the lifestyle but it is important to always consider your partner’s feelings.  If you would like to continue in the lifestyle with your partner, always keep this in mind.

Eventually, you will both be ready to take it to the next step.

When we felt ready, we took it to the next step all on our own.

What about meet and greets; are they a good place for newbies to start?

Some people feel that meet and greets are full of swingers who all know each other and are not looking to meet new people.  This is where I wholeheartedly disagree. Most swingers I know actually choose to go to meet and greets purely to meet new swingers. If they were not looking to meet new people, they would simply go to a swing club where the regulars are.

Meet and greets are designed to give couples who are new to the lifestyle, or new to the area, a chance to meet other swingers. Some of the couples we have met at meet and greets are swingers who do not like swing clubs and are looking for couples to invite out privately. This can be good or bad. If a couple are seasoned swingers, you might want to let them know you are new and are looking to take swinging step by step. The good thing about couples who are not new to the lifestyle is that they can help you navigate the whole process. The bad thing is, they might want you to move faster than what is comfortable for you. Communication is always very important in any swinging situation.

Lifestyle resorts and expos, would newbies feel comfortable in these environments?

Lifestyle expos and resorts can be a lot of fun, but if you are new to the lifestyle and just looking to see what it is all about, these types of venues can seem a bit hardcore. Both are a lot of fun for swingers, but if swinging is new to your couple, these environments can be intimidating. Most people who attend conventions or go on swinging vacations are not new to the lifestyle. They have a limited amount of time and want to make the most of the vacation. At the last expo we attended, by the time we arrived (which was only a few hours after it started), the party was in full swing with many couples already naked in the pool enjoying themselves. It was fine with us, but if we were newbies, it would have felt a little intimidating.

What about a swinger cruise?

Swinger cruises are also a wonderful vacation for those in the lifestyle but perhaps not the best place for new swingers to start. The biggest problem with a cruise for your first introduction to the lifestyle is that you cannot walk away if you do not like it. Of course, you do not have to swing, but the majority of people who choose a lifestyle cruise, do so because they are looking to swing.

We see that we can sign up on a swinger dating site for a private party…

Some people who are new to swinging might think a private party would be an easy way to meet other swingers. After all, there are usually fewer people at a party than a club, so it is easier to talk to others. While this may be true, most private parties are for real swingers. When you attend a private party, people usually think if you are there, it is to play. Why else would you attend? For that reason, it is probably not the best place to start, unless you think that you want to swing your first night out, which is usually not the best idea.

How about trying to meet couples on swinger dating sites?  This seems easy…

Swinger dating sites are also great for swingers but may not be the best avenue for new swingers to take when trying to meet other couples. It can be difficult to navigate these sites when you are new to the lifestyle. Looking at photos (which frequently are not very current) and reading ages (again, not always honest) and profiles can be misleading. Trying to meet up with couples who cancel at the last minute or don’t respond to your emails can be frustrating. New swingers might take it personally while seasoned swingers have learned it is not personal. Many swingers also know what to look for when checking out online sites, while newbies do not. This can cause them to have a negative first experience.

So what’s the bottom line?  We are new to the lifestyle and would like to test the waters.

For these reasons, I  recommend to new swingers that the best place to start would probably be at a meet and greet. If you are lucky, you might meet another new couple and the four of you can venture out to a swing club together to get a feel for the lifestyle. Swing clubs sometimes also host meet and greets from time to time and this is even better. These events mix new swingers with those already in the lifestyle. This gives those who are new, a chance to see a swing club.   It also allows them the opportunity to meet both new and old swingers. It gives you the freedom to come and go as you please. Nobody expects anything from you. You can choose to sit back and observe or you can jump in and join the party.

The most important thing for new swingers is to communicate.

Whatever you decide for your first swinging experience, make sure to communicate with your partner both before you go and while you are there. Before making the decision to play with another couple, it is crucial that you decide this as a couple. If one person is not ready, it will only lead to disaster and very likely will stop your swinging career before it ever begins. The lifestyle is a wonderful thing if handled properly. Your partner must always be made to feel like your number one priority. You cannot enter a swinger environment and leave your partner to fend for themselves or to follow your every lead. Swinging must be done as a joint venture, especially at the beginning, to ensure success.  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/communicate/

The most important thing to remember is that this is supposed to be fun! If one of you is not having fun, then perhaps you need to back up and figure out why someone is not happy. Swinging is not for everyone and it will not work if one person is doing it for their partner. Again, communication is the key to success in the lifestyle.

Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry!

Wearing our lifestyle jewelry is another way to meet swingers.  Sold only through lifestyle sites and venues.  The jewelry allows you to be discreet yet will let other swingers know that you, too, are in the lifestyle.  Perfect for nights out in bars and clubs that don’t cater to swingers.  You’ll be surprised how quickly you will meet other swingers!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers

Follow our blog for great stories from other swingers who have met each other simply because they were wearing our jewelry! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/lifestyle-2/

Good luck and have fun!

Does one’s alter ego play a role in the lifestyle?

Librarian alter ego sexy woman

 

 

Perhaps swinging allows us to develop an alter ego…

After listening to the ever-entertaining podcast “Our Naughty Escapades” where Bob and Nicky introduce themselves by their real names, it made me think. While I have been listening to “Ben and Jen” for all this time, I wonder if these fake names allowed them to explore a riskier side of themselves.  Often times in swing clubs or lifestyle events people will wear wigs or other disguises hoping to avoid recognition.

So what is an alter ego exactly?  According to Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/alter-ego alter ego is defined like this:

1.  a second self; a perfect substitute or deputy
2.  an inseparable friend.
3.  another aspect of one’s self.

Entering the lifestyle can be daunting for most people.  It is a common fear for newbies that someone will recognize them.   The plan for most couples is the same: we will look around and if we spot people we know, we will leave.

But wait! If they are there too, why would they judge you for being there? They won’t, but that will not always help to ease the nervousness of couples who are coming in for the first time.

For this reason, some people like to try to change something about themselves so that others will not recognize them. Some women wear wigs, some people wear glasses and some simply change their name or profession.

While many people initially do this to avoid detection, they often discover that it is easier to act in a way they would not if they were not in disguise. Simply changing your name (which is so common) seems to allow people to feel free to explore.

Do these small, seemingly insignificant changes allow our alter egos to shine? Like Nicky said after revealing her real name, she misses naughty “Jen.” That’s because as “Jen,” she felt free to behave in a way that she does not yet feel comfortable acting as Nicky.

Alter egos are liberating! If we believe others cannot really see us as we truly are, perhaps we feel more confident.  It allows us to expose parts of ourselves that we might otherwise feel inclined to suppress or hide.

I can remember going out to a swing club for Halloween. We live close to the club, so we spend a fair amount of time there. This Halloween night, when both the girls at the front desk and the bartenders did not recognize me, something inside clicked. I walked around and realized that with a red wig on, I had become totally unrecognizable to people. It was so liberating to be able to act in a way that I otherwise would have felt too shy to do. I felt bolder and more open than I ever had before.

It was apparent that some people who tended to be shy, seemed to have found confidence by wearing a costume. It seemed to summon something inside them that did not usually come out.

The dance floor on Halloween was exceptionally crowded. People who are not usually on the dance floor were suddenly letting loose. The power of their costumes was startling.

For some people, simply entering the lifestyle creates an alter ego. By day, someone might be a teacher, a doctor or an accountant. By night, that same person lets loose and has sex with a group of total strangers. A religious individual who wears modest clothing during the day suddenly reinvents herself at night and wears mini skirts, skimpy tops and thigh high boots.

Alter egos are a healthy way to explore another side of oneself. It allows a person the freedom to behave in a way that would be impossible under normal circumstances. Imagine the slutty religious woman wearing her club clothing in her own community. Would never happen, and if it did, she would surely be shunned.

Do we all have a secret alter ego busting to be let out? A superhero begging to be unleashed? A slut living deep inside ourselves wishing to get out to explore her sexuality?

Whatever the answer is, the lifestyle is a wonderful place to probe this side of oneself. It is almost fantasy like to be able to be free to act in a way that your day to day self does not feel free to do. Try it!

If you admire the lifestyle tattoo in the image, you can purchase it here, in our online store:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Think lifestyle cruises are only for swingers? Think again…

Lifestyle couple wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

Lifestyle cruises are great!  Sailing out on the big beautiful sea, visiting exotic destinations and best of all, meeting a lot of new people.  

One of the things that many swingers do not realize is that nudists also enjoy lifestyle cruises.  Beautiful ships, great food and entertainment, no kids and the chance to be naked.   Lifestyle vacations are the only kind that offers these opportunities, so it is only natural that nudists would also seek them out.

Many swingers have the mistaken belief that lifestyle cruises are only for swingers.  If you look at their advertisements you would realize this is not the case.  Take Bliss Cruise* for example: 

Experience the World’s Only

Lifestyle Cruise

An adults-only, clothing optional cruise experience for carefree couples looking for fun and exciting adult vacations

Clearly, they are looking for adults who enjoy clothing optional vacations.  They never mention swingers or nudists, which leaves it open to anyone.

This is where the confusion starts; how to tell the difference between a nudist and a swinger.  Short of coming right out and asking, you can never really be sure.  The problem with this is that swingers want to meet other swingers, and nudists have no interest in swingers.  This is not to mention the couples who stumble upon the adult only theme, which appeals to them strictly because there are no kids.

This is the reason we created lifestyle jewelry.  Imagine simply slipping on a piece of jewelry and others would know right away that you, too, are in the lifestyle.  If every swinger on the cruise was wearing this jewelry, it would make things so easy.  No more wasting time trying to figure out who is a swinger and who is not.

When you stop in a port, and everyone goes their separate ways, it is impossible to know who was on the ship. If everyone was wearing this jewelry, it would be very easy to spot them.   It is nice to be able to know who is a part of your group when you are visiting a destination.

Our lifestyle jewelry was designed to help swingers to identify each other without exposing themselves to others.  It is sold all over the world and we get emails
all the time from customers who have found each other because of the jewelry.

Stop wondering, start playing!  Visit our jewelry collection here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

*Bliss Cruise :   http://www.blisscruise.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwkIzlBRDzARIsABgXqV94d5LzMKQqZHElQ-YH6f3bIm7Nl95FIpIVvlbI44euxGj7La9BWVsaAqvHEALw_wcB

Our lifestyle keychain attracts a couple at a valet stand in Chicago!

Swinger with Partners ID lifestyle keychain

 

Hello Partners ID,

It is with great pleasure that we write to you to tell you about our very good luck with your swinger jewelry!  Here is our story:

Not long ago, my husband threw a surprise swinger party to celebrate my birthday.  Each person was asked to bring a swinger related gift to the party. It was a wonderful idea because it forced people to be creative.  The gifts ranged from dildos and lingerie to swinger jewelry.  Some were beautiful and some were very funny. The party reminded me of a baby shower where I sat and opened each gift.  Guessing who each gift was from was part of the fun.

Without a doubt, my favorite gifts were from Partners ID!  Three different gifts were from your company! One was a beautiful black purse, one a beautiful necklace and the third was a gold key chain with diamond crystals. Each of these gifts are special and I love them!

Not long after the party we went out to a very trendy restaurant with some vanilla friends. We valet parked our car and spent the evening dining and having fun with some long time friends of ours. After dinner was over, we went outside, said our goodbyes and waited for the valet to bring our car.

Upon entering the car we noticed there was a folded paper on the dashboard. Thinking the valet had left it there by mistake, we tried to hand it back to him.  He told us some friends of ours had asked him to leave the note in the car for us.

My husband and I looked at each other and I opened the note. It simply said, “We saw your keychain and asked the valet to leave you this note.” We are _____ from SDC.  This was such a wonderful surprise!  The note was so cleverly written so that the valet would never understand, but we knew right away! Luckily we are on SDC!

As soon as we arrived home, we rushed to the computer to look up their profile. We sent them a message and went to sleep.  The next morning, like kids on Christmas, we raced downstairs.  The computer was left open to SDC and we checked to see if they had responded. They had!

That was a few months ago and we have been out with them quite a few times. We never realized how clever the keychain was until this happened! I thought we would meet people simply because they would see me holding it! We now valet park more frequently than in the past!

Thank you for these wonderful times that we would never have shared with these people if it were not for the jewelry (and handbag that I love)!

Hugs and kisses from Chicago!
xox
Lori and Marc

Have you ever been sure another couple swings but did not want to ask?

Woman at barbecue with swingers necklace

Hi Partners ID,

This story should help others realize why this jewelry is important.  Everyone in the lifestyle spends so much time trying to find other swingers.  Half the time, they are right under your nose, you just don’t realize it!

My wife and I are big football fans.  Having both grown up in the same state, we are fortunate to root for the same team. Our three boys are also very big fans of the sport as well.  For years we had 5 season tickets and never missed a game.  We tailgated before every game and never left before it was over. 

Now that our sons are grown and have lives of their own, it is just the two of us attending games.  We still enjoy tailgating and have met many people over the years who do the same.  

Here’s the part you are waiting for.  As we have met many couples over the years at football games, we have had our suspicions  about which ones might be in the lifestyle.  Although we have always prided ourselves on having an ability to pick out the swingers, this was not a place we wanted to take the chance.  We tried dropping hints, using the term vanilla, etc., but no bites from any of the couples we suspected.   It got to the point that my wife wanted to simply ask two of the couples.  She was so sure that they were both in the lifestyle.  I begged her not to out us to this group just in case she was wrong.

Many couples at our local swing club wear Partners ID jewelry.  Having admired it for so long, we decided to each buy a piece.  As we know by now, most swingers are aware of your jewelry and so we decided to wear ours to a football game.  We made sure it was easy for other people to see it during the tailgating party.  We made it a point to speak with all the couples we had suspected might be in the lifestyle.  Nothing!  I had a moment when someone admired it but I realized it was just a compliment and nothing more.  It seemed pretty obvious that these couples were probably not swingers. 

During the game, I left my wife to go the restroom.  When I returned, a woman was sitting in my seat chatting with my wife.  When she saw me she jumped up.  She took out her cellphone and handed it to my wife, who inputted her number and said we would be in touch.  My wife introduced me to the woman before she quickly returned to her own seat.  

Guess what, she saw the jewelry!  They have had the seats a few rows in front of us for 7 years and had often waved to us.  Although, prior to today, we had no way of knowing, they are swingers!  

We did meet them for drinks the following weekend and they are a super couple. It turns out, this couple noticed us about 5 years ago.  They had no idea we were in the lifestyle and had no intentions of ever asking.  It was the jewelry that told them that we are swingers!  There is no question that we will see them again soon.

The most unfortunate part of this story is that it made us think about all of the missed opportunities.  Obviously this is not the only time we have been around other swingers and simply had no way of knowing.  

We now wear it everyday and look forward to discovering who else we have been overlooking all of this time!

Thanks for listening!

Warmest wishes,

David and Kate

Miami, FL

See the beautiful jewelry David and Kate were wearing here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Just when you thought a story couldn’t be topped…This is shocking!

Shocked couple wearing Partners ID jewelry
Shocked couple wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

We recently published a story from one of our customers.  It was so bizarre that we did not think anyone could have had a more outrageous experience.  Clearly we were wrong…

 

Dear Partners ID,

We read a letter from one of your customers recently about a story that you thought could not be topped. We think you might be wrong. This is what happened to us, and trust us, it is truly shocking!

My wife and I have been married for 28 years and we have 2 kids. They are both adults and neither of them live in the state where we live.

It was my wife’s 50th birthday and we made plans to go out to celebrate with some lifestyle friends. Her birthday fell on a Thursday but we arranged for the celebration on that Saturday. We went to a very nice restaurant, had a lot to drink and the 6 of us took an Uber back to our condo. We have a private landing so when you get into the elevator it takes you directly to our private entrance. You must have a key to access the landing. We were all anticipating the hot night ahead and as we approached our floor I started to remove the woman’s panties that I was planning to play with first. In my drunken manner, I put the panties in my mouth and reached for the key to open the door.

SURPRISE! Yes, that’s what I heard as we entered our apartment. The lights flicked on and there I am with a woman’s panties between my teeth, my wife’s shirt was completely unbuttoned and one of the men had a full erection sticking out through the open zipper of his pants.

Surprise doesn’t adequately explain my emotions at that moment. Shock? Despair? I’m not sure how to put it into words. We were all mortified and tried our best to pull ourselves together to greet my children and a small group of our friends from the building.

I don’t think I need to go into the details (it was a complete mess) and we are actually moving because we do not feel comfortable here knowing that everyone in the building has discovered that we are swingers.

You have to admit that this story is the one that cannot be topped!

Before signing off I just wanted to tell you that we love your jewelry!

Thanks for listening,

Marc & Cindy
New York, NY

Is a key party just a more polite way of saying swinger party?

Friends at a key party wearing Partners ID jewelry
Friends at a key party wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

Key party?  What on earth is a key party?!

Believe it or not, the subject of swinging was brought up recently by my mother; yes, my mother. The funny thing is, this isn’t the first time.

I can remember when I was in my late teens, we bumped into a woman who lived down the street. The woman kissed my mother on both cheeks (which I found very odd since this woman was born and raised in NY) and admonished my mother for not joining them at their last party. “We have been dying to get you and Dan to come to our parties! Trust me darling, you will love them!”

I thought it was odd that this woman spoke about parties as though they were a regular occurrence at her home and I thought it more odd that my parents were invited and were declining the invitation(s).

As we walked away I asked my mother why she didn’t want to go to this woman’s parties. She turned and looked at me as if to decide if I were old enough to hear her answer. Apparently she thought I was, so she told me that this woman and her husband were throwing key parties once a month at their home. Key parties? I searched my brain for a possible explanation for what a key party could possibly mean but I came up blank. I looked at her and shook my head to show her I had no idea what that meant.

“A key party is where you go to someone’s home and at the end of the night you all throw your house keys into a pile. Each woman picks a key and goes home to spend the night with the man who owns that house key.” I can remember trying to wrap my head around what she had just explained to me but there was no part of me that could make any sense of this. I had so many questions but I chose to continue with the most pressing:

“What if you pick a key and don’t the like the man it belongs to,” I asked. “Exactly the reason I would never want to participate in a key party” my mother explained.

So you randomly pick a key and that’s what decides who you go home with?!

That didn’t help my head to understand this whole thing. My mother’s answer confused me as much as her explanation of the party! I couldn’t help but think that she would be ok with the whole thing if she could choose the man with whom she would spend the night.

Is this what adults did? How come I had never heard about this before? Neighbors were sleeping with neighbors? The woman who was throwing these parties had a son who was a good friend of mine. Did he know about these parties? What did he think? Who else was going to these parties? I had so many questions! When I tried to bring up the subject of these alleged key parties of few days later with my mother, she simply said she was joking. She said that was what she had heard but didn’t really know if there was any truth to it. That was the last time we talked about it. Obviously, it was a conversation I never forgot.

Fast forward to yesterday. I am no longer in my late teens so perhaps now I am really old enough to hear the truth.

“Someone told your father that there is a whole group of younger people where we live that are swapping wives,” my mother reported. “Your father seemed shocked but I reminded him that way back when, everyone at our country club up north was doing the same thing.”

I asked if she was referring to those infamous key parties she had once mentioned. “Oh, no, this is something different. For years, many couples at the club were sleeping with each other. Everyone knew about it.”

Everyone but me…

Before I had the chance to ask, she named a few couples that did not surprise me to hear about, but did not include herself and my father. I didn’t ask and she didn’t say anything more. Although I can’t say for sure, I don’t think they were swingers. Maybe I am wrong, but since she knows a small bit about my lifestyle (kind of a don’t ask don’t tell type thing), she certainly knows I am open to swinging.

Does every adult get invited to a key party?

When I was newly married and had moved with my husband to a new state, I remember hearing about a key club in a nearby community. I was shocked to hear mention of this “key party” thing again. I was once again curious as to whether this was something common amongst married couples. Eventually, someone did approach us about attending one of their parties but we declined. When we had young children and were relatively newly married, it was as far off my radar as could be. I couldn’t in a million years imagine ever wanting any part of that.

Obviously, over time, we changed, but it was when the time was right for us. We also never took part in a “key party” for the same reason my mother claimed she did not. If I were going to play with someone else, I didn’t want to leave it to chance. I wanted to choose the person who would be good for me and I wanted to do it with my husband right there.

Maybe swinging is just not that uncommon…

The thing that interests me the most is not the history of the key party, but rather that they seem to be relatively common. When my mother mentioned this latest discovery about the young group where they live having sex with each other, my fist inclination was to say that it seems swinging is much more common than even I had realized. She looked at me funny and said, “Who said they are swingers?”

This always brings me back to the same question: Are married people having sex with friends but not referring to this as swinging? Are “key parties” not swinger parties? In my book, married couples who are having sex with other married couples are swingers. From what I am realizing, it is actually very common and it seems to be very wide spread.

It seems people don’t like to be labeled. This is not something new either. Perhaps if we found another way to refer to swingers more people would want in. Maybe we can just call swingers fun couples. I would bet that if that was the term to replace swingers, more people would admit to their open minded ways. After all, who doesn’t want to be a fun couple?