Le Club L; worthy of a special trip to Montreal!

 

Le Club L, Canada

Imagine stepping into a club which is illuminated by soft lighting and glistening colors of pink and blue. Sophisticated white leather sofas and gorgeous side tables strategically surrounding a dance floor. An elegant white stone bar with comfortable bar stools and beautiful bartenders waiting to pour your favorite drink. Beautiful couples waiting to meet you and get to know you. An atmosphere which pulsates with the promise of a night to remember. Welcome to Le Club L…

It is rare that a physical space can actually evoke a sensual feeling. This club has a vibe, unlike any other club we have visited. The sheer beauty of this club is overwhelming.

When the doors open to the interior of the club, it is impossible not to stop and try to take it all in. The vast three-story interior forces you to gaze up at the titillating colors that shimmer from the playrooms on the top floor. Beautiful hues of blues, greens, and pinks teasing you to come upstairs and investigate these gorgeous promises of late-night play.

The architecture of this prior bank building is impossible to ignore but it is the transformation that is most remarkable. The incorporation of the historic with the new makes this space spectacular.

The intricate details of this club’s interior are worthy of mention in Architectural Digest. The wrought iron banisters which glide easily up the circular staircase, the soft texture of the pillowy leather-clad walls, the colors which look like delicious candy. It all adds up to a seduction of the senses.

True to the club’s European style is a restaurant on the second floor which resembles a French cafe. The menu has many tempting tapas and meal choices which are perfect for this type of venue. It was a special treat to be able to watch the bar crowd and dance floor while we enjoyed a variety of delicious dishes.

Le Club L _ Montreal

This beautiful club is located in the fabulous city of Montreal and we believe it should be on your list of places to visit. For those of you who do not think of Canada as a sexy destination, think again! Unlike in most cities and states in the US, swinging is legal throughout Canada. This could be one of the reasons why Canadians are so open-minded!
Another perk to consider: when traveling to Canada: how strong the US dollar is versus the Canadian dollar. The currency exchange between the two countries weighs heavily in favor of the US. The current exchange rate between the Canadian and American currency is close to 35%. This means you get a lot more for your money in Canada!

Having heard so many wonderful things about Le Club El, we decided to visit on a Saturday night while vacationing in Montreal.

The club was easy to find and we were given a warm greeting by the woman in the reception area. We were delighted to learn that Le Club L offers a free one-night membership card to all non-residents of Quebec!

After the reception area, we were greeted by a gentleman who offered us a tour of the club. As soon as the door was opened and we stepped inside, we were stunned by the beauty of the club. The transformation of this former bank, with its spectacular lighting and posh updating, makes this club a must-see!

Kudos to the owners of this beautiful new establishment for their exquisite taste and this bold endeavor. They are not the only game in town, and another well-known club is not more than one mile away.

As soon as we entered the club we were greeted with warm smiles and introductions. The bartenders were quick to serve our drinks and when we spotted a cozy restaurant upstairs, we were excited to try the food. The menu offers an enticing array of choices starting with tapas and ending with desserts. The waitress was very friendly and the food was delicious!

The crowd was classy, attractive and friendly. We never felt like outsiders and it was easy to mingle. The music was upbeat and current, which kept the dance floor moving throughout the evening.

Le Club L - Back Room

After midnight we moved upstairs, which is where the rather large and interesting labyrinth of play areas are situated. Guests are not required to remove their clothing to enter, which is more common than not in Canada. The play area consists of many rooms to choose from, all of which boast clean sheets, condoms, and wipes. If a small, intimate room does not appeal to you, the original table from the former bank’s conference room remains intact and ready to be played upon.

The play area is well tended to by an employee who changes the sheets as guests finish playing. There are shades and doors which allow for privacy if so desired. An added benefit is the perfect temperature, which ensures that the guests will be comfortable both while clothed and when undressed.

Remember the name: Le Club L. It should be on your list of clubs to visit. Montreal is a beautiful city and now has even more to offer! If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to incorporate some lifestyle fun into your next vacation, definitely visit this club. You won’t be disappointed!

For more information about Le Club L, visit their website here:  http://www.leclubl.com

Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry when traveling to Canada!  Find your’s here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/ 

The pitfalls of relying on social media to meet other swingers.

Couple text messaging wearing Partners ID jewelry

Social media has become a way of life for most people. We have email, instant messaging, apps, and text messaging at our fingertips. When we wanted to communicate in the past, we picked up a phone and called someone. Now it has become much easier and more popular to just shoot a message to someone.

With this surge in the use of nonverbal communication, has come some problems. When we speak in person, others can hear our intonations as we speak. They can hear our excitement, our anger, and if we pause, they can rethink what they said and try to explain on the spot.  When we read a message, at times, we misinterpret what the writer is trying to convey to us.

How does this affect swingers looking for other swingers?

Simply put, when a couple is attempting to communicate with another couple and they rely on a messaging platform, things they write can be misconstrued. It becomes especially touchy when these couples have never met. Sometimes a person has a sense of humor that they try to convey in their messages. If you don’t know that this person is sarcastic, for example, you might misinterpret them as being arrogant. A person who is shy might come across as being disinterested. Perhaps one couple is very busy and so there can be a long delay between messages. If English is the person’s second language, their writing might be seen as a lack of intelligence or education. In any case, the couples might decide against meeting each other for reasons that are not valid.

The other problem that is rampant, is many couple’s disregard for the truth. The number one complaint seems to be the outdated photos that many couples choose to post. Regardless of how attractive and fit you were ten years ago, that no longer represents what you look like today.

If you are afraid that people will not be attracted by your current photos, this is not a reason to post old ones. After all, you will eventually meet in person and the first thing they will notice is that you do not look like your pictures. Many people say that they do this because although they might not like their pictures, they are sure they can win over another couple if they meet in person. The truth is, it does not work like this. We have heard many couples talk about how when they spotted the couple they had arranged to meet and realized they did not look like their photos, they turned around and left.

Some other problems with swinger profiles are lying about age and not being truthful about what you are looking for. If you do not have experience or are not totally comfortable with swapping, be honest. At some point, all of your lies will become apparent to the couples that you meet.  This makes it awkward for everyone. Don’t shave 10 years off of your age and then be surprised when the couple who agrees to meet you is not interested. Don’t expect another couple to “take it slow” if you have written that you are full swap and have tons of experience. Honesty goes a long way in making encounters successful and enjoyable. You will find couples to match with if you let them know who you really are.

Face-time and Skype have given us the ability to chat live.  Perhaps this is the best way to be sure that the couple in the pictures look the same in person. This also allows you to speak in “real-time” and avoid the problems that messaging can cause. Let’s not forget that in some areas, people have to travel quite a distance to meet each other. Remote areas that do not have a swing club or any other lifestyle events tend to be more reliant on technology.  This causes them to be dependent upon messaging.

When messaging with other couples just remember how many times your chats with family and friends have been misunderstood. Not because of what you wrote necessarily, but rather the way the reader interpreted what you meant to say or how you meant to say it. Give people the benefit of the doubt and always try to connect either by video chat or on the phone. This allows you the comfort of hearing what someone is saying and how they are saying it.

One of the other problems facing those who are dependent upon technology is having to a total stranger.  As many swingers will attest, they often “meet” people online who either drag out the process of an in-person meet or don’t show up to arranged meetings. That leaves the couple wondering what went wrong.  There are many people who seem to get off solely from the correspondence of another couple.  They pretend to be interested strictly for the thrill.  There was never any intent to meet.

One of the best pieces of advice for couples who find themselves struggling with flakes and no shows is to insist on meeting early on.  Don’t prolong the process of getting to know someone over texts or emails.  After one or two emails or phone calls, set up a day and a time to meet.  This will prevent you from wasting time with people who have no real interest in actually meeting in person.

When a person or couple finally agrees to meet, the smartest place to meet is a coffee shop.  There is no time or money commitment here and most people agree that within the first five minutes they know if they have any interest.   Wasting an entire evening meeting someone for dinner can be a disaster if you don’t like them.

Don’t forget to use common sense.  If something feels wrong or you get a bad feeling, back up.  Not everyone is honest or has good intentions.  Just like in regular dating, pay attention to what your gut tells you.

Most importantly, have fun.  Swinging is supposed to be fun.  This is not a job, but a lifestyle!  For most people, the time and energy put into finding other couples eventually pays off.

Have you tried wearing our lifestyle jewelry?  Many swingers have found each other simply by spotting others with our jewelry.  Check it out here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

“I never thought it would happen to me!” A swinger’s story…

Hi Partners ID.  I love reading your blog but I especially like to read the emails you receive from folks who have had success with the jewelry.  Just like most things in life, I never thought it would happen to me but it did!  Magical!

We have been swingers for about 5 years and mostly seek out parties at hotels near where we live.  It can be a bit frustrating because we would like to have more of a swinger social life but we really don’t have a club close enough to drive just for an evening.  

To try to satisfy our desire to immerse ourselves in swinging, we took a vacation in August to Hedonism.   That’s where we discovered your jewelry.  It worked like a charm in Jamaica because people could identify that we were swingers and so they approached us.  To be honest, we weren’t really sure if we would have any success with the jewelry back at home.

I wear my necklace every day for two reasons:  first, because I love the design and second, obviously, because I would like to meet other swingers.  

We live in a wonderful community and have met many of our neighbors since moving in last year.  We got a note in our mailbox a few weeks ago inviting us to their annual block party.  We are a very social couple and looked forward to spending the afternoon with everyone while hoping to meet some new people.  

We offered to help with the setup and spent the evening before the party baking goodies to share with our neighbors.  We arrived early and were greeted by a couple we had not yet met.  They were quite a bit older than we are but were so warm and welcoming.  They mentioned that their son and his wife would be attending the party and hoped we would get a chance to meet them.  

We were impressed with the turnout for the party!  There were well over 100 people out on the street enjoying the food, music, games and socializing.  At one point my husband left me talking with another couple to run back and get us some drinks.  He ran into the older couple that we had helped with the setup.  They were with their son and his wife and were thrilled to be able to introduce them to my husband.  

A short time later my husband returned and he was with another couple who seemed anxious to meet me.  I politely excused myself and went over to meet them.  With a big smile on his face, my husband introduced me to this couple, who are about the same age we are.  I went to shake the man’s hand and he pulled me in for a kiss.  I was a little stunned until he whispered in my ear to look at his bracelet.  Sure enough, there it was!  He, too, was wearing your jewelry!  OMG, I was so excited to meet them!  We spent the entire rest of the day with them and the next night as well!  The best part is, since his parents are our neighbors, they come to town quite often.  

Such a great concept!  Thank you again for what you are doing for the lifestyle!  Like I said, it’s magical!

~Lisa and Doug

Colorado (too small a town to name!)

Finding a condom you didn’t know you lost! How can one little condom cause so much trouble?!

Woman holding condom wearing Partners ID  black ring

There are some things that only swingers can relate to. There are situations that we find ourselves in that vanilla people simply cannot imagine.

We recently returned from a trip where we spent a few days partying with a group of lifestyle friends. The days were spent on a secluded beach and the nights were spent running between the jacuzzi and the den of a rented townhome. We drank a lot and had a lot of sex.

Upon my return home, my phone reminded me of my yearly gynecology exam the following morning. Everything was pretty routine until he did the internal part of the exam.

He stands up from his seat on a stool, pushes his glasses up on top of his head and looks me in the eye. “I think somebody lost something,” he said and with that holds up the forceps from which a used condom is dangling…

He knows I am married and had asked about my husband not 2 minutes before discovering the condom. To say I was mortified is a small understatement. I did not (could not) explain.

We had a house party recently and we are always very thorough in our clean up to be sure that there is nothing left behind. ( A rule I might want to consider after traveling with lifestyle friends!) We limit our guests to the family room and kitchen so that we don’t have to concern ourselves with the entire house.  The morning after the party, we checked under the couches and the couch cushions, under the coffee table and wall unit, emptied the garbage, scrubbed the bathroom, you name it. The following evening we had our children over for dinner. While we are eating my son touched something under the table and lifted the table cloth to see what was on the floor. Sitting on the table pedestal was a pair of men’s shoes. I don’t know how we missed them but we did. He picks them up off the floor and looks at my husband. Clearly, they don’t look like the style of shoes my husband wears and the size is much larger than what he wears. Yes, I know what you’re thinking because I was thinking exactly the same thing. How does someone leave a party without their shoes? It hardly mattered at that moment because we both stared at the shoes trying to think of something to say. I had nothing, I was actually laughing to myself about how ludicrous the situation was. My husband made up some lame story about borrowing the shoes but the more he rambled on the more ridiculous the story sounded. I glanced at my children out of the corner of my eyes and could see they were not buying one word. I really can’t imagine what they were thinking.

My husband brought his car in for service recently and when he went to pick up the car they handed him a large envelope and said they had found some personal items on the floor of the car and wanted to make sure they were returned to him. He thanked them and opened the envelope while waiting for them to bring the car around. Inside were 4 pairs of crotchless panties. When he looked up from the envelope the service representative was standing there with the car keys. “I see you got your items back,” he said with a grin on his face. My husband was mortified. He imagined everyone was watching him from inside the showroom as he got into his car. He said he was sure they thought he was having sex with hookers in his car when in reality he often puts my underwear into my boots when we play at the club. I remove my boots when I get into the car often forgetting about the underwear and they get lost under the seat.

We had plans to meet some lifestyle friends for an evening of fun and I was texting my friend’s husband to remind him to bring condoms as we had forgotten to pick some up when we were out. He sent me a sexually charged text and I shot one back to him telling what I was planning to do to him that evening. I didn’t hear back from him and figured he was busy. After playing with them that evening I asked him if I did everything I promised I would do to him. He looked at me with a funny expression and asked what I was talking about. I reminded him of the text I had sent that afternoon following his text to me. He grabbed his phone and scrolled down to look for my text. He was shaking his head no, that he had never received a followup text from me. That was not a very good feeling… I felt a little nauseous as I tried to imagine who might have been the recipient of that text message. I fumbled to find my phone dreading the thought of whose name I was going to find. Well, the good news is that it was not any of our children or relatives. The bad news is that it was not another lifestyle friend. It was an old employee of mine and needless to say there is nothing I can say or do about the text. It is an older woman and quite frankly I can’t begin to imagine what she was thinking when she received it! My only hope is that I never run into her!

As one can never hear too many condom stories, after leaving the club recently in the wee hours of the morning, some friends realized that they had stayed out much later than they had planned. They had a babysitter waiting for them at home so they dressed quickly and raced out of the club. When they pulled up to the house, my friend was grabbing some things from the back seat of the car while her husband went inside to get the babysitter. As my friend walked into the house she saw her husband walking in front of the sitter as they were getting ready to leave so he could drive her home. That’s when she spotted it. There was an open condom wrapper stuck to the back of his hair. The shiny psychedelic wrapper was glittering under the foyer light, impossible to miss. She looked over at the babysitter who was staring at it with a look of horror on her face. “What on earth was I supposed to say?” my friend asked in utter distress. Needless to say, although they really like this babysitter, neither of them are willing to face her so they have no babysitter for now.

These are just a small sample of horrifying events that happen to swingers. As I have said before, swingers can find themselves in some pretty hilarious situations, learning to think fast helps!

Remember to check out our lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Ok, fine, I’m a slut, a whore and a nymphomaniac. But, you should know, I’m very satisfied!

Slutty woman in underwear wearing Partners ID belly ring
Slutty woman in underwear wearing Partners ID belly ring

Slut is a word we are all familiar with.  We heard it used a lot in high school to shame girls who had sex with too many guys.  It did not occur to me in those years that we did not have a term for the males who were doing the same thing.

I stumbled upon an article the other day which was talking about the number of sexual partners people have had over the course of their lifetime, and what it says about them.

https://onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/whats-your-number/

The article is actually quite interesting and at the same time a bit alarming. As a swinger, reading that the general population thinks that the ideal number of past sexual partners for both men and women is 7, concerns me.  Seven?! Seriously?! I know people who have sex with 7 different people in one night!

My immediate reaction to the notion that a new man in my life would want to hear that I have only slept with 7 men prior to him, was that I felt a little nauseous. I think I had slept with 7 guys before I graduated from college. What does this mean? I was (and still am) a total slut?  Probably, but lucky for me, my husband appreciates the fact that I love sex as much as he does.

I don’t think anyone would be surprised to learn that both men and women tended to change their true numbers slightly (at their own admission). Men tended to say they have had sex with more women than they actually have, while women tended to say they have had sex with less partners than they have. It is a surprise to me that in the year 2017 people are still so antiquated in their thinking. Men want to be with women who love sex, but they don’t want to be with women who have been too sexually active or who are too experienced.

Perhaps because I have been married for a long time I have lost touch with single stigmas, but come on people, this is 2017. Many people in their 50s, 60s and 70s are part of the baby boomer population. They believe in sex, drugs and rock and roll, don’t they? This generation was having sex, and a lot of it, back in the 60s and 70s. You mean to tell me they were part of this survey? I think not.

I also would have imagined that we were no longer holding women to a different standard than men. We still think men are studs when they have many conquests while women remain sluts for doing the same. We pat men on the back for their accomplishments in bed while we shake our heads in disdain at the women with whom they are doing this. Every time I think we’ve come a long way (baby) I discover that perhaps we really have not. Even the terms we are still using to describe sexually adventurous women versus men have remained unchanged in the way one degrades the woman, while the other praises the man. According to Wikipedia, the term slut is as follows:

Slut is generally a term for a woman or girl who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous.[1][2] It is usually used as an insult, sexual slur or offensive term of disparagement (slut shaming).[2][3] It originally meant “a dirty, slovenly woman”,[2] and is rarely used to refer to men, generally requiring clarification by use of the terms male slut or man whore.

Today, the term slut has a pervasive presence in popular culture and pornography, but is almost exclusively used to describe women. An exact male equivalent of the term does not exist. The lack of a comparably popular term for men highlights the double standard in societal expectations (gender roles) between males and females, as negative terms for sexually promiscuous males are rare.[5][14]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slut

This is one of the reasons why swinging and the lifestyle are such wonderful outlets. Nobody is judging anyone within the lifestyle. If you love sex, good for you! Curious to try something new? This is the place! Judge free zone! Everyone is free to explore their fantasies. In all of the years that I have been in the lifestyle, I have never heard anyone put a woman down for sleeping with too many men. Even the women who like gang bangs and trains. Most people just shrug their shoulders and say whatever she’s into to, glad she’s having fun.

For swingers, the standards set by the general population do not apply. Men in the lifestyle are not really interested in women who do not want to play. People are in the lifestyle for this purpose! Sexually open women are the norm, as are the sexually adventurous women.  Men seem drawn to the women who exude sex as they are certain that it will prove to be an enjoyable experience.  As far as asking about or caring about how many sexual partners someone has had?  I’ve never heard anyone discuss this within the confines of the lifestyle. Truth is, most people would probably laugh and say, “I have no idea, I lost count!”

It fascinates me that men who are not in the lifestyle prefer women who have slept with (at most) 7 partners. They feel that more than that signifies a promiscuous woman. What the survey did not discuss was a woman’s age. What if she’s 50 and has never been married? I hope these men are open to the thought that their partner likes to masturbate. Or, open to the notion that this partner does not like sex. Either way, how do you put a number on something like this, and more importantly who are they to judge?

Women also think the magic number of previous partners for men is 7. For a man who is 25, I can see how this number is probably fair game. If the man is 40, I’m not so sure.

I think I can speak for most people in the lifestyle when I say that the number 7 made me laugh out loud when I heard it. Most real swingers who spend every weekend (and for some 1 or more nights a week) in a lifestyle venue of some sort, would probably agree that they hit that magic number often; some after a few weeks, others after a few months.

Does this make all the women in the lifestyle a bunch of sluts?  Probably to those who choose not to be in the lifestyle. What about the men? I imagine they would simply call the men in the lifestyle “lucky”. For those who are in the lifestyle, I sincerely doubt they care. They are usually both very happy in their relationship with their significant other and with their decision to swing. I suppose if any of us find ourselves single and being asked our “number,” we have two choices: lie or look for another swinger!

Speaking of looking for other swingers: that’s what our lifestyle jewelry was created for! Click here to find the perfect piece for you!     https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Does one’s alter ego play a role in the lifestyle?

Librarian alter ego sexy woman

 

 

Perhaps swinging allows us to develop an alter ego…

After listening to the ever-entertaining podcast “Our Naughty Escapades” where Bob and Nicky introduce themselves by their real names, it made me think. While I have been listening to “Ben and Jen” for all this time, I wonder if these fake names allowed them to explore a riskier side of themselves.  Often times in swing clubs or lifestyle events people will wear wigs or other disguises hoping to avoid recognition.

So what is an alter ego exactly?  According to Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/alter-ego alter ego is defined like this:

1.  a second self; a perfect substitute or deputy
2.  an inseparable friend.
3.  another aspect of one’s self.

Entering the lifestyle can be daunting for most people.  It is a common fear for newbies that someone will recognize them.   The plan for most couples is the same: we will look around and if we spot people we know, we will leave.

But wait! If they are there too, why would they judge you for being there? They won’t, but that will not always help to ease the nervousness of couples who are coming in for the first time.

For this reason, some people like to try to change something about themselves so that others will not recognize them. Some women wear wigs, some people wear glasses and some simply change their name or profession.

While many people initially do this to avoid detection, they often discover that it is easier to act in a way they would not if they were not in disguise. Simply changing your name (which is so common) seems to allow people to feel free to explore.

Do these small, seemingly insignificant changes allow our alter egos to shine? Like Nicky said after revealing her real name, she misses naughty “Jen.” That’s because as “Jen,” she felt free to behave in a way that she does not yet feel comfortable acting as Nicky.

Alter egos are liberating! If we believe others cannot really see us as we truly are, perhaps we feel more confident.  It allows us to expose parts of ourselves that we might otherwise feel inclined to suppress or hide.

I can remember going out to a swing club for Halloween. We live close to the club, so we spend a fair amount of time there. This Halloween night, when both the girls at the front desk and the bartenders did not recognize me, something inside clicked. I walked around and realized that with a red wig on, I had become totally unrecognizable to people. It was so liberating to be able to act in a way that I otherwise would have felt too shy to do. I felt bolder and more open than I ever had before.

It was apparent that some people who tended to be shy, seemed to have found confidence by wearing a costume. It seemed to summon something inside them that did not usually come out.

The dance floor on Halloween was exceptionally crowded. People who are not usually on the dance floor were suddenly letting loose. The power of their costumes was startling.

For some people, simply entering the lifestyle creates an alter ego. By day, someone might be a teacher, a doctor or an accountant. By night, that same person lets loose and has sex with a group of total strangers. A religious individual who wears modest clothing during the day suddenly reinvents herself at night and wears mini skirts, skimpy tops and thigh high boots.

Alter egos are a healthy way to explore another side of oneself. It allows a person the freedom to behave in a way that would be impossible under normal circumstances. Imagine the slutty religious woman wearing her club clothing in her own community. Would never happen, and if it did, she would surely be shunned.

Do we all have a secret alter ego busting to be let out? A superhero begging to be unleashed? A slut living deep inside ourselves wishing to get out to explore her sexuality?

Whatever the answer is, the lifestyle is a wonderful place to probe this side of oneself. It is almost fantasy like to be able to be free to act in a way that your day to day self does not feel free to do. Try it!

If you admire the lifestyle tattoo in the image, you can purchase it here, in our online store:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Are there any swingers in Hong Kong? The answer is yes, just ask this couple.

Asian woman wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

Nǐmén hǎo! This is hello in Cantonese. We are Lidia and Sam and we live in Hong Kong. We had to move for business a few years ago. We moved from California almost 2 years ago when my husband was offered a job he couldn’t turn down.

We have been in the lifestyle for the past 10 years and one of the hardest things about this move was leaving our friends. As you know, lifestyle friends are very special and we couldn’t wrap our minds around having to say good bye.

One of the first things we did after getting settled into our new home was to try to discover if swinging was popular in our area. Although we did see quite a few listings for swing clubs, we were nervous to take this route. My husband was new to the company and the last thing he wanted, was to run into someone he worked with.

We did take a chance online to try to meet others for an evening of play but that was not working out so well. After a few months we were getting antsy and very much wanted to play!

I had heard about your jewelry when we were still living in California and decided to order a few pieces for us to try. I purchased a necklace for my husband and a bracelet for myself and waited for them to arrive. I wasn’t really sure that anyone in Hong Kong would actually know what it meant but figured it couldn’t hurt!

I wear my bracelet most of the time but my husband prefers to wear his only when we go out socially. We went for dinner at a trendy restaurant one evening and when we were walking to our table, a woman grabbed my arm as we passed by. I looked down and she was holding a purse with your pendant on it! I was shocked! I never thought it would be this easy! They were with another couple and said they would stop at our table before they left.

Although this particular couple is not our style to play with, they are nice people who have helped us to navigate the lifestyle! They gave us all the information that we needed to meet other swingers and told us which clubs were the best in the area.

This was a few weeks ago and we have been invited to a party (through this couple) that we will attend this weekend. We just wanted to let you know that people in Hong Kong know the jewelry and it is pretty popular here!

Thank you! You really helped us!

Hugs and kisses,

Lidia and Sam

Infidelity and the lifestyle; how swinging helps couples avoid cheating on each other.

Happy couple clinking wine glasses
Happy couple clinking wine glasses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People who are not in the lifestyle, equate swinging with infidelity.  Obviously, for people who swing, this is absolutely untrue.   According to dictionary.com. infidelity means:

1.  marital disloyalty
2.  unfaithfulness
     Considering those two meanings, swingers are not being disloyal or unfaithful to their spouses.  Perhaps we should think of swingers as writng their own rules in their own marriages.  They have decided together, as a couple, to open their marriage to something more. Whether or not religious figures would agree that this is not adultery or infidelity is another topic altogether.

It is not uncommon to hear people who are not in the lifestyle to question why couples swing.  Besides that they imagine swingers to be perverted deviants, their perception of swingers is really off.  They have a hard time understanding why people would be open to having sex with someone other than their spouse.  More than that, they cannot fathom why swingers do not get upset with the fact that their significant others are doing this.

Let’s consider this:  if a department store invited you to visit anytime, and take what you needed for free, would you ever feel the need to steal something from them?   Silly question right?  How can you steal something if they are giving it to you for free?   Let’s say you are in school and need help on an exam and the teacher tells you anytime you don’t know an answer to just ask her and she will tell you. Would you need to copy off someone’s paper?  What would be the point?  The teacher has already offered the free help, right?  It is the same in the lifestyle.  Your partner offers to let you swing with other people, why would you need to do this behind their back?  That is not to say that it never happens because it probably does, but what it is the point?

It is very common when you speak with swingers to hear how surprised they were when they first entered the lifestyle to discover how in love swingers seemed to be.  It was exactly the opposite of what they had imagined.  If couples were so in love, what drove them into the lifestyle?  The best answer is probably honesty.

The relationship between a couple who chooses to swing has to be very open and honest.   In order to swing, they had to get to the point where they could admit that although they love each other, they would like to try something else.  It is normal for  couples to fall into a routine or rut with their sex life.  Some couples try to spice things up by watching porn, using toys, trying different positions or even going to strip clubs.  What happens when that is not enough?

For couples not in the lifestyle, unfortunately, they might look to someone else to fill that void.  Infidelity is exceptionally selfish.  One person in the couple chooses to find excitement that is lost with their partner while the other partner makes do with  the lack of fulfillment.  Sometimes both parts of the couple choose to be unfaithful to each other while maintaining  the facade of a wonderful marriage.  How long can that last?

When you consider the avenue swingers take, it seems more logical and loving.  Swinging is something couples do together.  They venture into the lifestyle as a couple not to find someone to replace their partner, but to find couples to spice up their sex life.  The excitement is something they experience together.  The only sneaking around these couples might be engaging in, is from their family and friends. Swinging creates a very strong bond;  you are naughty together.

When you consider the freedom that swinging brings to both members of the couple, who would feel the need to cheat?  Sure, there are always exceptions, but that shows a true character fault.  Generally speaking, swingers would agree that they have no reason to cheat.  Swinging helps them to avoid infedelity.

Many couples who have been in the lifestyle for many years reach different levels of comfort with separating while swinging.  Some couples have no problem allowing their significant other to play on their own while traveling or with friends they have met in the lifestyle.  They talk about how much pleasure they get just from hearing about the escapades of their partners.   The only request they make of each other is to tell them about what they do when they play on their own.  Some couples never separate and continue their swinging journey side by side.  Either way, the degree of trust and freedom is immeasurable compared with those not in the lifestyle.

Everyone is different and perhaps there are couples who never feel the desire to play outside their marriage.  It seems that number would be very low when you consider how rampant infidelity is.

My question to those not in the lifestyle is this:  why not try to explore together what both of you are secretly wishing for?  It is impossible to believe that every married adult at some point has not fantasized about having sex with someone else.  A neighbor, a  teacher, a coworker, someone famous or your spouse’s best friend.   The best part about swinging is that these are no longer secrets or fantasies!  You and your partner not only talk about what your sexual fantasies are, you experience them together.  What could be more honest and intimate than that?  That is what creates such a strong bond between swingers.   When you have everything you need at home, why would you need to go elsewhere?

Is a poor body image keeping you from enjoying ( or entering) the lifestyle?

Is a poor body image keeping you from feeling confident in the lifestyle?   Do you worry that having a less than perfect figure will make it hard to find couples who want to swing with you?

The lifestyle poses many challenges to both men and women.    It can be very difficult for someone if they are shy, insecure or become jealous easily.   It is even worse if someone has a poor self-image.  Having a positive self-image, especially regarding your body, is crucial if you are planning to swing.  Body image is defined as how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or how you picture yourself in your mind.  Sometimes these perceptions are accurate, but sometimes they are completely distorted. This image will affect how you carry yourself and how you interact with others.  Developing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to a person’s happiness and wellness.  It also plays a key role in success in the lifestyle.

Swing clubs, parties, and hotel takeovers are filled with scantily clad women wearing fishnet dresses, sexy lingerie,
and exotic mini skirts and dresses.  All of which show a lot of skin.  Many of these women are over the age of 40 and have bodies which indicate as much.  There are women who have beautiful, tight, fit bodies but they are not in the majority.  They are also not always the hottest or the most secure.  It seems that self-image plays a much larger role in what makes a woman desirable to both men and other women.  A beautiful, fit woman with poor body image (yes, there are many) seems to be less attractive to others than the overweight woman who is comfortable in her own skin. The lifestyle is not about the most attractive person or people, and it is important to remember that everyone is attracted to something different.  A person who is friendly and warm and seems genuinely interested in what you have to say will be much more attractive to you than someone who is the opposite; regardless of their physical appearance.

Men suffer from the same problem but regarding different aspects of their bodies.  Women tend to be focused on their weight, their breasts and any areas of their bodies they see as imperfect; cellulite on their thighs, a butt that is too large or too small, scars from past surgeries or c sections, etc.  Men tend to be more concerned with their height, their weight, their muscle mass and obviously the size of their penis, as compared with other men.  Interestingly enough, if you were to ask ten men to point out which woman they find most attractive, chances are you would get 6-7 different responses.  For women, it would probably be about the same.  Luckily, everyone is attracted to something different.   Imagine if everyone was attracted to the same person!

The lifestyle is supposed to be fun.  When people are too hung up about their bodies and their imperfections it can be a real downer.  Try to remember that swinging is for a short time and if you don’t take advantage of the moment, you will miss it.  Chances are if someone has chosen to swing with you, it is because they think it will be enjoyable.  If you cannot relax and savor the moment, you are not only wasting your night but the night of the person who is trying to have fun with you.  I sincerely doubt that while your partner for the evening is playing with you he is thinking about your thighs.  If, however, you are showing your insecurities regarding your thighs, he probably will look at them to decide if you are right.   When a woman is with a man who is less endowed than most, she will only care if it keeps him from being able to enjoy himself.  If he steps up and shows her he is confident with himself, she knows it will be a fun night regardless of his size.

Putting your insecurities aside for an evening will be in your best interest.   If you step into the play area with nothing but a smile, people will admire your confidence and appreciate that about you.  If you are open to people, they will look to join you, it’s that simple.  Big thighs, sagging boobs, cellulite and all, if you show people that you are ok with yourself, they will be ok with you.

Swing clubs, parties, and takeovers can be fun and exciting.  People come out to party and have a good time.  When you meet people, if they seem friendly and self-confident you are drawn to them.  If, on the other hand, you meet people who are shy and withdrawn, chances are you will move on to another couple.  It really is ok if you don’t think you are perfect because guess what?  Pretty much everyone else has the same insecurities that you have, the only difference is that they refuse to let it ruin their night!

Remember to check out our lifestyle jewelry!  New items are offered frequently and we are happy to take custom orders.

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Swingers in Canada discovered their swinger radar was defective.

swinging couple wearing partners id jewelryMy husband and I have been swinging for the past 25 years.  When we first got into swinging, it was underground.  It was illegal and nobody spoke about it.   

Before we really even knew about swinging, our neighbors and we used to splash around naked in our hot tub.  Eventually, this moved onto skinny dipping and having sex side by side.  We never touched our neighbors and they never touched us.  The evenings spent with our neighbors left us giddy and excited.  

It wasn’t until a few years later that someone told us about a “warm club.”  Having never heard of such a thing we became curious and asked if they would take us there.

Soon after they phoned us and asked us to go with them that Saturday night.  We agreed.  We were both excited and nervous about going there.  Long story short, we loved it, and have been swinging ever since. 

The reason for my email is to talk about your jewelry.  Back when we were younger and swinging was very hush-hush, the only place to think about meeting other swingers was at this club.  That is not to say that our eyes didn’t wander when we were out at restaurants and bars!  We often wondered about the people we met.

One summer, we took a trip to Boston to attend my niece’s wedding.  We arrived a few days before the wedding to explore the city.  One evening we went out for dinner, then stopped at a bar before heading back to our hotel.  There was a couple about the same age as us sitting next to us at the bar.  

We struck up a conversation and spent the next two hours laughing and enjoying their company.  We were absolutely certain they were swingers.   The man put his hand on my leg when he told a story and the woman at one point pushed the hair out of my eyes.  

As they were paying their bar tab, my husband and I whispered to each other that we were certain about them.  We had a lot of experience in the lifestyle at this point, and we knew swingers when we met them.  

As they turned to wave goodnight to us, my husband asked if they would like to come back to the hotel with us.  The look of confusion on their faces immediately made me know that we had been wrong.  My husband was slightly drunk and added that we had two queen size beds, plenty of room for everyone!  The couple looked shocked, grabs their coats and left.

How I wish this was the end of my story…

We saw them again during our stay in Boston.  It was the groom’s aunt and uncle.  We ended up at the same wedding two nights later.  It was a rather small group so it was impossible to avoid them.  We were so embarrassed that we didn’t know how to handle it!  When we found ourselves face to face with them, they looked away and pretended not to know us.  

It was a truly awful experience.  

The need for some type of swinger symbol is not new and we are thrilled that someone took the bull by the horns and created one!

Today, it is easy to simply look to see if someone is wearing this sign.  If we spot it, we go and talk to them.  If not, we will never, ever take that chance again.

Lesson learned!

Debbie and Mike

Ottawa, ON 

Canada