Infidelity and the lifestyle; how swinging helps couples avoid cheating on each other.

Happy couple clinking wine glasses
Happy couple clinking wine glasses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People who are not in the lifestyle, equate swinging with infidelity.  Obviously, for people who swing, this is absolutely untrue.   According to dictionary.com. infidelity means:

1.  marital disloyalty
2.  unfaithfulness
     Considering those two meanings, swingers are not being disloyal or unfaithful to their spouses.  Perhaps we should think of swingers as writng their own rules in their own marriages.  They have decided together, as a couple, to open their marriage to something more. Whether or not religious figures would agree that this is not adultery or infidelity is another topic altogether.

It is not uncommon to hear people who are not in the lifestyle to question why couples swing.  Besides that they imagine swingers to be perverted deviants, their perception of swingers is really off.  They have a hard time understanding why people would be open to having sex with someone other than their spouse.  More than that, they cannot fathom why swingers do not get upset with the fact that their significant others are doing this.

Let’s consider this:  if a department store invited you to visit anytime, and take what you needed for free, would you ever feel the need to steal something from them?   Silly question right?  How can you steal something if they are giving it to you for free?   Let’s say you are in school and need help on an exam and the teacher tells you anytime you don’t know an answer to just ask her and she will tell you. Would you need to copy off someone’s paper?  What would be the point?  The teacher has already offered the free help, right?  It is the same in the lifestyle.  Your partner offers to let you swing with other people, why would you need to do this behind their back?  That is not to say that it never happens because it probably does, but what it is the point?

It is very common when you speak with swingers to hear how surprised they were when they first entered the lifestyle to discover how in love swingers seemed to be.  It was exactly the opposite of what they had imagined.  If couples were so in love, what drove them into the lifestyle?  The best answer is probably honesty.

The relationship between a couple who chooses to swing has to be very open and honest.   In order to swing, they had to get to the point where they could admit that although they love each other, they would like to try something else.  It is normal for  couples to fall into a routine or rut with their sex life.  Some couples try to spice things up by watching porn, using toys, trying different positions or even going to strip clubs.  What happens when that is not enough?

For couples not in the lifestyle, unfortunately, they might look to someone else to fill that void.  Infidelity is exceptionally selfish.  One person in the couple chooses to find excitement that is lost with their partner while the other partner makes do with  the lack of fulfillment.  Sometimes both parts of the couple choose to be unfaithful to each other while maintaining  the facade of a wonderful marriage.  How long can that last?

When you consider the avenue swingers take, it seems more logical and loving.  Swinging is something couples do together.  They venture into the lifestyle as a couple not to find someone to replace their partner, but to find couples to spice up their sex life.  The excitement is something they experience together.  The only sneaking around these couples might be engaging in, is from their family and friends. Swinging creates a very strong bond;  you are naughty together.

When you consider the freedom that swinging brings to both members of the couple, who would feel the need to cheat?  Sure, there are always exceptions, but that shows a true character fault.  Generally speaking, swingers would agree that they have no reason to cheat.  Swinging helps them to avoid infedelity.

Many couples who have been in the lifestyle for many years reach different levels of comfort with separating while swinging.  Some couples have no problem allowing their significant other to play on their own while traveling or with friends they have met in the lifestyle.  They talk about how much pleasure they get just from hearing about the escapades of their partners.   The only request they make of each other is to tell them about what they do when they play on their own.  Some couples never separate and continue their swinging journey side by side.  Either way, the degree of trust and freedom is immeasurable compared with those not in the lifestyle.

Everyone is different and perhaps there are couples who never feel the desire to play outside their marriage.  It seems that number would be very low when you consider how rampant infidelity is.

My question to those not in the lifestyle is this:  why not try to explore together what both of you are secretly wishing for?  It is impossible to believe that every married adult at some point has not fantasized about having sex with someone else.  A neighbor, a  teacher, a coworker, someone famous or your spouse’s best friend.   The best part about swinging is that these are no longer secrets or fantasies!  You and your partner not only talk about what your sexual fantasies are, you experience them together.  What could be more honest and intimate than that?  That is what creates such a strong bond between swingers.   When you have everything you need at home, why would you need to go elsewhere?

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Swingers in Canada discovered their swinger radar was defective.

swinging couple wearing partners id jewelryMy husband and I have been swinging for the past 25 years.  When we first got into swinging, it was underground.  It was illegal and nobody spoke about it.   

Before we really even knew about swinging, our neighbors and we used to splash around naked in our hot tub.  Eventually, this moved onto skinny dipping and having sex side by side.  We never touched our neighbors and they never touched us.  The evenings spent with our neighbors left us giddy and excited.  

It wasn’t until a few years later that someone told us about a “warm club.”  Having never heard of such a thing we became curious and asked if they would take us there.

Soon after they phoned us and asked us to go with them that Saturday night.  We agreed.  We were both excited and nervous about going there.  Long story short, we loved it, and have been swinging ever since. 

The reason for my email is to talk about your jewelry.  Back when we were younger and swinging was very hush-hush, the only place to think about meeting other swingers was at this club.  That is not to say that our eyes didn’t wander when we were out at restaurants and bars!  We often wondered about the people we met.

One summer, we took a trip to Boston to attend my niece’s wedding.  We arrived a few days before the wedding to explore the city.  One evening we went out for dinner, then stopped at a bar before heading back to our hotel.  There was a couple about the same age as us sitting next to us at the bar.  

We struck up a conversation and spent the next two hours laughing and enjoying their company.  We were absolutely certain they were swingers.   The man put his hand on my leg when he told a story and the woman at one point pushed the hair out of my eyes.  

As they were paying their bar tab, my husband and I whispered to each other that we were certain about them.  We had a lot of experience in the lifestyle at this point, and we knew swingers when we met them.  

As they turned to wave goodnight to us, my husband asked if they would like to come back to the hotel with us.  The look of confusion on their faces immediately made me know that we had been wrong.  My husband was slightly drunk and added that we had two queen size beds, plenty of room for everyone!  The couple looked shocked, grabs their coats and left.

How I wish this was the end of my story…

We saw them again during our stay in Boston.  It was the groom’s aunt and uncle.  We ended up at the same wedding two nights later.  It was a rather small group so it was impossible to avoid them.  We were so embarrassed that we didn’t know how to handle it!  When we found ourselves face to face with them, they looked away and pretended not to know us.  

It was a truly awful experience.  

The need for some type of swinger symbol is not new and we are thrilled that someone took the bull by the horns and created one!

Today, it is easy to simply look to see if someone is wearing this sign.  If we spot it, we go and talk to them.  If not, we will never, ever take that chance again.

Lesson learned!

Debbie and Mike

Ottawa, ON 

Canada

Why do swingers seem so much younger than their vanilla counterparts?

woman in swinger lifestyle wearing partners ID jewelry

A coworker recently asked what I had done over the weekend.  Without thinking I said, “A gang bang and 2 very sexy women.”  When I realized what I had said and I saw the look on my coworkers face, I went into panic mode.  Thankfully, that’s when I woke up from this nightmare!

Imagine if swingers could actually be honest with people about how we spend our time.  So often people comment on how I stay in good shape or the fact that my hair or nails are always impeccable.  Well, yea, I’m a swinger!  I spend every weekend at a swing club and many weekends at a nude beach.  It is important for me to look good!

Maybe people who are in the swinger lifestyle are more in tune with their bodies because we don’t keep them covered very often.  Wearing sexy clothing and shoes are one of the fun aspects of going out to swing clubs.  Although on occasion you will spot a woman in jeans and flip flops, it is very rare.  Most swingers dress to impress.

Swinging is a lot like dating.  The goal is to find others with whom to play.  Obviously, like when you are dating, you want to put your best foot forward.  Looking good is certainly a plus.

For those not in the lifestyle, it is easy to stop trying to impress your significant other.  They see you at your best and they see you at your worst and they still love you.  Perhaps this can cause people to become complacent.  After all, once you have settled in with a partner, there are more important things to worry about, right?

Not for swingers!  

When we first entered the lifestyle I was shocked by how much younger swingers seemed.  I can remember meeting couples who were closer to my parent’s age than my own.  It was amazing how fit and sexy they were. Not to mention how open-minded their attitudes were!  I could only attribute these characteristics to the fact that they were in the lifestyle.

The lifestyle takes sex from being an obligation to the exciting fun it was when you first met.  It turns fantasies into realities!  Lifestyle vacations are like sleep-away camp.  All of your friends are there to have fun together.

The lifestyle creates a very busy social life for people who are looking to get involved.  Between meet and greets, parties, swing clubs, hotel takeovers, cruises, and lifestyle resorts there is a lot going on!  Even simply having dinner with lifestyle friends is different.  The conversations are sexier and everyone is looking to have a good time.

Life is exciting when you have things to look forward to.  That is not to say that vanilla people don’t have things to look forward to; obviously, they do.  What swingers look forward to are endless events and parties.  From Sunday Funday to Saturday night specials, every day is a party!  There are many swingers who have already booked cruises for 2021 and beyond!  

It seems that swingers have really found the fountain of youth.  Life can be difficult and stressful but when we put on our swinger hats it is all about fun.  The serious stuff can wait until the next morning!  

Perhaps those in the swinger lifestyle seem younger than their vanilla counterparts for good reasons.  They are active, they are free and they have endless opportunities for fun to look forward to. 

Exploring your fantasies and watching your spouse do the same can be intoxicating!  Flirting with others, having sex with different people all while maintaining a loving relationship with your spouse is beyond compare.  When life is this much fun, who wants to get old?

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Love does play a role in swinging but not in the way people might imagine.

Couple in love wearing Partners ID jewelry
Couple in love wearing Partners ID jewelry

When we think about swinging, we do not think about love. The purpose of swinging is to have fun. To find another couple or a single man or woman to fulfill a fantasy. Sex is a physical act and does not require love to participate. Swinging equates to sex without love whereas a marriage incorporates love and sex.

To people who are not in the lifestyle, it is a very difficult concept for them to grasp. They frequently ask if couples in the lifestyle are afraid that their partner might fall in love with someone else. Sure, anything is possible, but you do not have to be a swinger to be at risk of falling in love with someone else.

Swinging has nothing to do with love. Swingers do not seek out the lifestyle to find a partner to share their life with. Single swingers might be looking for love. Some are looking for someone who shares their lifestyle views. Couples are not there for this reason.

Vanilla couples cannot understand how swingers do not get jealous when they see their partner with someone else but it always reminds me of something from the Bible. The following is a part of the passage, not the entire thing: (I am not religious, or Catholic, but this always comes to mind):

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not put on airs, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. So Faith, Hope and Love abide these three; But the Greatest of these is Love.”

In my opinion, the only role love plays in swinging, is between the couple that decides together that they would like to explore the  lifestyle.  You love your partner enough to give them the freedom to partake in things they otherwise could not, and you find joy in seeing them enjoy those things.  You have faith in your partner; you allow them to play because you are sure they will come back to you.   You are able to express love for each other by forging your own path.  You do not allow others to dictate to you what is normal.  Although society equates love with monogamy, you choose to define love your own way and you know the love between you and your partner is mutually exclusive.  You hope that your love is forever and that these experiences will only enrich your lives.

There is no love between couples that play but there can be infatuation or lust.  How can you love someone that you don’t really know?  The person who shows up at parties or swing clubs or on vacations or cruises allows you to see only a small part of who they are.  The real person is the one who has to get up for work in the mornings; the person who has to clean up after their children or their dog.  The true person is not always dancing and having fun but paying bills and dealing with stress.  Until you know that person, how can you really know that you love them?

The part of swinging that makes it so enjoyable is that we get to dress up, have a few drinks, dance or socialize then move onto the swinging aspect.  Spending an evening with swingers is like going out on New Year’s Eve.  It’s always a big party, but is that real life?  It is an awful lot of fun and the environment lends itself to getting hot for other people, but that is the whole point.  We go into swing clubs looking for others to spend a few hours with but not our lives.

If people in the lifestyle were not able to separate sex and love, swinging could not exist.  It is the rare couple who can find that delicate balance and make it work.  If couples were constantly falling in love with each other, swing clubs would be empty.  Who would want to risk their relationship for an evening of fun?
The most important thing is to keep perspective.  Having sex with someone else is just for a moment of pleasure, whereas being in a committed relationship is hopefully for a lifetime.

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When vanilla friends become a little too nosy…

Vanilla women

How many times have your vanilla friends (for those of you who still have them) wanted to know where you were going and with whom?  It seems whenever you tell vanilla friends you have other plans, they become curious.  Especially if it happens on a regular basis. 

When we first started making excuses for being unavailable to our vanilla friends, my husband and I would joke how ‘mom’ called.  It wasn’t either of our moms, it was a nosy vanilla friend.  Each conversation with her started with her asking what we did the previous weekend and with whom.

 Prior to entering the lifestyle we would make plans with friends on a regular basis, sometimes weeks in advance.  Saturday was usually spent at dinner or a movie.  

When we discovered strip clubs, we became less available or started ending nights out with friends earlier than in the past.  It was easy because strip clubs were better later at night.  When we discovered a swing club not far away, we became more and more unavailable over a short period of time.  

Our goal each week, was to keep Saturday night free so we could go to the club.  We even had a code name for the club so that nobody would know what we were talking about if they overheard our conversations.  Were we being paranoid?  I don’t think so, people really wanted answers! 

Over time, as we tried to force our vanilla friends to see us on Fridays. Not long after, we would only make ourselves available to them during the week.  At this point, some of our friends became suspicious.  We turned down invitations to just about every vanilla event we were invited to.  We had discovered swinging and that was all we wanted to do.  

As we made friends in the lifestyle, this group became our social life.  Sometimes we would meet at a restaurant before heading to the club.  This is when we discovered how difficult it was to have any privacy.  That’s right, going out to dinner with lifestyle friends became fodder for anyone who saw us.  It seemed not to matter how remote a restaurant we chose.  As luck would have it, we always seemed to run into someone we knew. 

Soon “mom” was back on the phone wanting to know who our new friends were.  The first time I got the call I was taken aback.  I tried to imagine how this was any of her business.  Since she had not actually seen us, I knew someone had told her. Then I tried to imagine why people were talking about us.  We do not live in a small town per se, but many people know each other.  Same schools, same churches,  temples, same after school activities, etc.  

So what made our lives suddenly so interesting that people were talking about us?  “Mom” casually mentioned that we seemed to be avoiding our old group of friends.  I pointed out that the previous week we had met them for dinner.  How could we be avoiding them if we saw them a few days ago?

It seems that making new friends, especially people that are from another town or city, raises eyebrows.  Suddenly “mom” was asking how we met them.  Don’t think  “mom” was the only person asking, she was simply the only one brave or nosy enough to confront me.

It made us wonder how much people really deserved to know.  Do we actually owe it to others to explain our whereabouts or our new friends?  Is it normal for “friends” to demand to know why you are not free to spend more time with them?

My husband and I had even considered telling one couple that was part of that group of friends about the lifestyle.  We thought they might be open to the whole idea of swinging.  After much thought, we decided against it.  If they were not open to it, we would be exposing ourselves and did not want to risk that.

The lifestyle resulted in our decision to completely remove ourselves from this former group of friends.  We soon realized that these people are very judgmental and if they were to discover the truth, we would no longer be friends.  Knowing this, we chose to drift away.

The question remained for us:  Why is it anyone’s business how we spend our free time?  Why must swingers always make up excuses so that they can do what they want?  Lying and making up stories and excuses is exhausting.  We are adults and should be free to live our lives without judgment.

For all of the nosy people out there:  stop worrying about what others are doing and with whom they are doing it.  We are forced to lie and sneak around to avoid judgment from people like you.  Don’t you have anything better to do?

The sad part is, many people in the lifestyle end up having to choose between the lifestyle and maintaining vanilla friendships.  Perhaps most people choose lifestyle friends simply because we have more in common with each other.  They also don’t judge or wonder what we are doing when we are busy with something else.

Bottom line, swingers do not owe anyone an explanation about how they spend their free time.  Where we go nights, weekends and on vacation is nobody’s business.  We have discovered a wonderful, carefree life in the lifestyle and have no plans to change this any time soon.  So butt out…

If you are looking for lifestyle jewelry you have come to the right place!  Check out our jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Why is someone’s sex life ever up for public scrutiny?

 

 

Women gossiping about other's sex lives

 

Reading the article which is intended to shame Roger Stone for being a “card-carrying” swinger, really made me mad.  Trust me, this is not about politics and I have no intention of going down that rabbit hole.  This is simply about seeing headlines each week where someone’s sex life being splashed across the headlines.  Presumably, the media is looking to shame people for their sexual ‘improprieties’.

Last week it was Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots.  While some claim the story was to shine a light on massage parlors and human trafficking, it seemed primarily aimed at shaming Kraft. 

I am not defending anyone or looking to debate how people should conduct themselves in their personal lives.  What bothers me is why this is anyone’s business.  Why should anyone care what people do in their private life?  As long as people are not hurting anyone, should their sex lives be exploited like cheap fodder for journalists and tabloids?

Does a person’s sex life interfere with what they can do on a day to day basis?  Is it impossible to be a good employee because you enjoy non-traditional sex?  Should we really judge anyone because of their sexual interests, desires or even perversions?

Let us take Bill Clinton as an example.  While having an affair with Monica Lewinsky does not interest me in the slightest, using the Oval Office does.  Had his dallying taken place in his bedroom (or hers), there would have been no reason for the public to become involved.  His decision to have an affair really did not affect his ability to do his job.  Cheating on his wife is between he and Hillary.  We can argue that it makes him dishonest, but that is a whole different story.

I always find it interesting how Americans can’t get enough of these types of stories.  They seem horrified when someone famous is exposed for doing something countless others do on a regular basis.  (The mention of Americans is because these types of stories are not headlines in other countries.)

Often times we hear swingers talking about how important it is for them to keep their lifestyle a secret.  They live in fear that if someone found out, they would lose their job and be ostracized from their community.  Their families would be shamed and they would probably lose their vanilla friends. 

 Hearing this makes me wonder if this type of reaction isn’t a bit over dramatic.  It would be easy to understand if we were talking about being arrested and going to prison for some horrible crime.  In this situation, losing your job, your friends and potentially your family seems like a possibility.  Engaging in a lifestyle with your spouse just doesn’t feel so scandalous.

Most of the people that I have met in the lifestyle are truly wonderful, warm and caring people.  The kind of people that I am proud to have as friends.  These are friends that I have come to know on a much deeper level than any vanilla friends I have ever had.  Without a doubt, these are the friends that I would count on if I had a problem.  Lifestyle friends don’t judge, which is definitely not a quality that we find in most people.

Shaming Roger Stone and his wife for being swingers is disgusting.  It has nothing to do with his current situation and certainly is not something his wife should have to endure.  For Robert Kraft, perhaps the lesson for him is to hire prostitutes who will come to his home.  

The worst part is how many people are out there who hire prostitutes or cheat on their spouse and are ridiculing these men for what has been on the news.  It seems impossible to believe that Americans are still playing the puritanical card as the porn industry has grown to epic proportions.

Hopefully one day, people will grow up and learn to mind their own business.  Headlines such as these serve only to shock and appall the public.  

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A visit to a swing club might be just what your marriage needs!

Woman talking about swing club wearing Partners ID jewelry

When a friend confides that her sex life has diminished, would you suggest visiting a swing club?  I did…

A friend recently confided in me that her sex life has become pretty non existent.  After years of great sex, it no longer exists.  She wondered aloud if he no longer found her attractive.  There was no concern of another woman, they were very happily married.  I asked if perhaps it was a hormonal problem and she said she did not believe that was it.

So what’s happening?  My friend is very attractive and takes good care of herself.  She has a great figure and wears form fitting clothing to show it off.  I decided since she was coming to me for advice, I would take a chance.

“A few years ago, my husband and I were in a sexual rut,” I explained.  “Sex had become routine.  We decided to try toys, watch porn and role play.  Although it was exciting for a while, we found ourselves looking for something more.  My husband suggested a strip club and this was also exciting at first, but soon we were bored.  It was during a night at a strip club that one of the dancers suggested we try a swing club.”

I held my breath and waited for her reaction.  She leaned in close to me and with bated breath asked quietly, “And?”

Not sure how to proceed, I turned the tables.  I asked her what she would do.  Would she be willing to try a swing club? 

As I listened to her talk about how disgusting the thought of this was, I stopped her.  I decided to take a chance and tell her we had tried it a few times.  Very nonchalantly I described the first few nights we had actually visited a swing club.  The nerves, the anticipation of what I would see, what I wore and finally what I thought of the experience.  

This is perhaps the most important thing that vanilla couples misunderstand about what happens in a swing club.  I was honest about my fears regarding what type of people would actually spend time in a swing club.  The thought of half naked people walking around touching each other was a fear of mine.  I was sure the people would be old and unattractive; that the club would be a dungeon full of scary sights.  Not knowing what to expect is perhaps one of the biggest reasons that people shy away from swing clubs.

Her eyes were large as she listened intently.  She was dying to know what the club was actually like.  It was more shocking for her when I told her it was the exact opposite of what I had imagined.  The club was beautiful and upscale.  The people were warm and friendly; easy to talk to and quite interesting.  Many were professionals and most were genuinely normal, everyday type of people.  

I continued to explain that I did not see anything alarming or perverse.  Some couples were busy in groups, talking and laughing, some couples were dancing and others simply sat and observed.  Both women and men were well dressed.  Some women were a bit sexier than others, but if I had not known I was in a swing club, I would not have thought anything was odd.  Except, perhaps for the fact that people were so friendly and there was a monitor over the dance floor playing porn.

She was curious to hear whether we had seen people having sex while at the club.  There was no intent on my part to reveal that we have been in the lifestyle for many years and spend every weekend at this club.  My only interest was to help shed some light on the truth about swing clubs.  My answers reflected my views when I was new to the lifestyle.

I admitted that we, too, were curious and so after a few visits to this club we decided to check it out.  There was no way I was going to tell her that we had to change into towels to go into the back room, so I left that part out.

 

It seemed best to explain how respectful others are in this situation.  You go at your own pace.  If you simply want to watch, that is fine.  Some couples simply play with their husband or wife, while others opt to trade partners as they play side by side.  Some people like to play as threesomes and some prefer to be in a private room.  

I did admit that it was a very exciting way to spend a night. That first visit to the club had ignited a sexual flame within the both of us.  The club had a sexy vibe and we liked that.  Watching other people having sex was erotic and exciting.  The atmosphere is like none other.

My final bit of advice to her was to do some research and perhaps try it out.  There is no pressure to do anything.  Many people go to swing clubs and simply socialize.  Some drink and dance.  The most important thing is to do something in her marriage to get it back on track.

The simple act of going to a swing club brought my husband and I closer after just the first time.  We were now partners in crime and had something that we did not share with others.  It was our secret and it was shocking how it helped us to grow as a couple.  

The bottom line is that going to a swing club is an experience.  Perhaps one couple will love it and another will not.  It is not a commitment of any kind and there are no promises or guarantees of what will happen on any given night.  The most important thing to remember is that it is something you do together. 

Looking to find other swingers?  Wear lifestyle jewelry so others can find you!  Shop for the jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Lifestyle jewelry is alive and well in Arizona!

Golfers wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry
Hi Partners ID!

My husband and I have been wearing your jewelry for about 6 months. No one has ever asked if it has any special meaning. One friend did point out that they were both of the same design. We laughed and said that this is why we each bought a piece. Much like wedding rings, it makes us feel connected.

We are avid golfers and spend a lot of time at our golf club. Over the years, we have gotten to know most of the members. This is strictly a vanilla club.

As we are in the lifestyle, we have created two separate lives: our night life and our day life. There is no question that people would never suspect that we are swingers.

Like most weekends, we had plans to play golf with some friends.   At the last minute, the couple we had planned to play with had to cancel.  As a result, we were randomly paired up with another couple looking to play. Although we have known this couple for at least 8 years, the wife is a new golfer so they usually try to play alone.

After teeing off on the 3rd hole, my ball went very far to the right. As I approached I realized it went into the lake. The man who joined us drove up in his cart to hand me a ball retriever.  Just after hitting my ball, he offered me a ride to catch up with the others.   As soon as I sat in the cart, he started to laugh. I was confused and looked over at him. The man reached over and gently held the pendant of my necklace in his hand. He told me that they have been in the lifestyle for quite awhile and also have your jewelry.

This was a huge surprise!  We have known this couple for a long time and neither of us would have ever suspected that they are swingers.  It was equally as shocking for them to discover that we are also swingers.

This couple, like ourselves, prefer to travel for lifestyle events and parties. Over the past few weeks we have been in constant contact as it turns out, we are both going on a lifestyle cruise in April!

You often tell people that it’s impossible to know  who the other swingers are, and as you can see, this is true!   Certainly, without the jewelry, we would never have guessed.   For instance, here is a couple that we have known for 8 years and never suspected.

Everyone needs to wear your jewelry. It really is the only way to know who else is in the lifestyle!

Thanks!

Lauren and Andy
City withheld, AZ

Why should we wear lifestyle jewelry? Is it really necessary?

 

Swingers on beach wearing Partners ID jewelry

Before Partners ID was born, my husband and I had been in the lifestyle for many years.  Some of our favorite lifestyle activities included going to  swing clubs and a local nude beach.  We traveled to Desire and Hedo and had ventured out on a lifestyle cruise.  At times we checked out swinger dating sites for private party information and to meet other swingers online.  

Regardless of the fact that we knew where to go to meet swingers, something was missing. We have always been proud to be in the lifestyle but we also practice discretion.   It is clear to us that there are many benefits to being in the lifestyle but most vanilla couples cannot understand this.  Most people are not open to the concept of swinging.  For this reason, most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves.

At times we would wonder about couples we would spot on the nude beach.  Quite often, we would spot an attractive couple and try to figure out if they were swingers. It occurred to us that other than flat out asking them, there was really no way to know for sure if they were in the lfiestyle. 

Not long after we had started to think about this, we took a trip to Cap D’agde, the naturist resort in France.  This community boasts as many as 50,000 visitors during their busiest times of year.  While the majority of people who visit are nudists, Cap D’agde also attracts many swingers.  During the summer months, Cap D’Agde reports that they can host upwards of 10,000 swingers at certain times.  Although that sounds like a lot, it is only about 1/5 of the population at the resort.

One thing about this is very important to understand.  While swingers can also be nudists, most naturists are not swingers.  More importantly, many naturists are as opposed to swingers as many vanilla couples are.  That creates some difficulty in an environment such as this.  Swingers are all excited to mingle and meet others in the lifestyle, but how can they decipher who the swingers are without asking?

It was at this point that we started to realize that something very important was missing from the lifestyle.  Swingers needed something to identify themselves to each other without alerting everyone around them.  A symbol that was designed only for this purpose.  It had to be too complicated to google yet easy to spot.  

The decision was made to do something about this problem while on the beach in Cap D’Agde.  There were 3 couples involved:  one American couple, one French couple and one Australian couple.  If there was a simple pendant that we could wear, that would identify us to others and others to us, this very vacation would have been so much better!  

This concept made us think about other aspects of our lives.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet other swingers in a local bar, at a grocery store, at a sporting event?  There would no longer be any reason to constantly wonder if other people were swingers.  

Since its inception, customers have written us hundreds of emails.  They relate stories of how they have met others swingers because of the jewelry. Each note always says the same thing:  “We would never have met these people if it wasn’t for the jewelry.”  That is exactly why it was created. 

Now imagine if everyone in the lifestyle wore this pendant….

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  

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Uninhibited: Perhaps this should be the word to replace swinger.

Uninhibited woman wearing Partners ID jewelry
Uninhibited woman wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uninhibited? Perhaps this is the term we should use to replace the word swinger.

We have spoken before about how the term ‘swinger’ is outdated.  Today, the word swinger  has a negative  connotation which dates back to the 1970s. Swingers are no longer a part of the key club culture and they also gave up their huckapoo shirts and nylon slacks decades ago. The word swinger seems to conjure up an image of older folks groping each other and partaking in massive, hairy orgies. It is for this reason, that finding a new word to replace the word “swinger” seems necessary.

The term open-minded has been suggested and we have discussed this as well. It seems like a good option but today we would like to consider the word “uninhibited.”

The word uninhibited, according to the free dictionary means the following:

uninhibited
adjective
1. not inhibited or restricted; unhampered.
2. not restrained by or mindful of social convention or usage; free; candid or spontaneous.

When a friend suggested this term I thought, bingo! This is exactly the word I would use to describe swingers. Although many vanilla people think swingers are wild, reckless and depraved, the word uninhibited exudes a much clearer image of who swingers really are.

Swingers are the first to argue that they are, for the most part, no different from anyone else. The central difference between swingers and their vanilla friends is their desire to enjoy sex with more than one person.

Swingers have the ability to let loose and experiment sexually with other people in ways we have always been taught were wrong. We either learned this from our parents or our religion. Sex was intended to take place only between a married couple. Not between two women, not between two men and certainly not with a multitude of partners. We grew up learning to be modest and to cover up our bodies (especially women).

While these teachings were consistent with generations of the past, with the decline of religion over the past decade or so, and with the Baby Boomers now parents and grandparents, we have seen a shift in many people’s moral compass. People are more open to new ideas and beliefs, which has in turn led people to a more open-minded way of thinking.

Interestingly enough, even with the more relaxed attitudes we see today, swingers remain outcasts. It has become both common and acceptable to reveal to friends, family and coworkers your sexual orientation as well as your gender identity, but it is still not acceptable to be a swinger.

If society refuses to accept swingers, perhaps the best course of action is to change the word associated with swinging. In order to change the mind set, the most logical thing to do is to change the word. Take for example the word stripper. We no longer refer to women as strippers. Exotic dancer has become the new term. The name is chic and no longer elicits an image of vaudeville days with trashy women wearing tassels on their breasts. The term exotic dancer, although it means exactly the same thing as stripper, paints a much more palatable image of a beautiful woman dancing in a club.

As swingers, if we were to change the terminology to simply say that we are uninhibited adults, this would erase the image of bunch of old, out of shape people engrossed in an orgy. For vanilla people, the term will imply little more than an individual who is open to new thoughts and ideas.  People who are uninhibited are not prudish or uptight. If peopleare truly uninhibited, they would be open to the notion of swinging but may or may not partake. This would allow us the freedom to let the world know that we are unconventional or free thinking.  It does not say anything about us sexually. It simply invites open conversations between adults who are uninhibited like ourselves.

Swingers must take the initiative to help change the stigma attached to living this lifestyle. Acknowledging to others that you are uninhibited gives away little about your lifestyle. I truly believe that if the word swinger was abolished, many people who are actually swinging, although they claim that is not what they are doing, would readily admit that they are uninhibited.  This would help build the community while at the same time helping swingers to be accepted for their lifestyle choices.  After all, telling people that you are uninhibited does not really tell them precisely what you are doing.

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