Drama in the lifestyle, why it is sure to ruin everyone’s night.

Drama free group of swingers wearing  Partners ID swinger symbol jewelry 

Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. As a rule, when it comes to swinging, it is no different.

Swinging is something people do for enjoyment.  Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun.  If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenage children.

The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night.  You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time.  Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.

A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks,  and heading into a play area.  Next, you try to find another couple (or single).  Ideally,  everybody plays, everybody is happy, and you leave.  That’s not so hard, right?

For many couples it is simple.  They have conversations about what works for the both of them.  Usually, the problems begin when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.

So what causes drama in the lifestyle?  Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong?  Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:

1.  Someone is too drunk to play.
2.  One member of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3.  The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4.  One member of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5.  The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6.  One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7.  They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8.  One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9.  One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10.  One gets upset and leaves during play.

Not surprisingly, when couples find themselves in situations such as these, it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.

With this in mind,  how can you avoid ending up with couples who create drama?  Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance.  Couples are not always upfront and honest regarding what they will and will not participate in. Not to mention the couples who say they are full swap and ready to play, and they are not.

To begin with, couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with.  If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront.  Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well.  Besides, couples who cause drama eventually develop a reputation as such.

Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun.  Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment.  If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.

The bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…

If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Important qualities to look for, and what to avoid, when choosing a couple with whom to swing.

Swinger couple smiling wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

Why is swinging sometimes more enjoyable than others?

Swingers are always looking to meet the right couple (In this blog we are talking about couples) with whom to play. While we cannot predict which time it will work perfectly, there must be reasons why sometimes swinging is so much better than others.

What makes some experiences so much more positive than others?

You invite another couple to your home for an evening with the hopes of swinging. First, you have drinks, then a nice dinner, conversation, and then you settle in for some fun.

Take your time and make sure everyone seems to be on the same page.

Everything up to this point has been fun and easy. The hot tub looks inviting and so you all decide to climb in. It doesn’t take long for you and your partner to switch with the other couple and start fooling around.

One couple moves inside to the bedroom while the other couple remains outside. You play for a brief time and soon your partner arrives at the bed with the other person. Everyone kisses each other and lightly touches as they move next to you on the bed. The next few hours are fun and everyone is happy.

You see, swinging is so easy, right?

The answer is, when the situation works, yes. When everyone is on the same page and nobody feels slighted or left out, this is the result. Easy, fun, and you and your partner are happy.

Why then is it so often more complicated than this? What happens to contribute to a negative experience?

In my opinion, there are many variables when playing with other couples. One important factor is that both members of the couple are interested in playing with the couple you choose. If one is doing it to please the other, it will not work. We speak often about taking one for the team. While it is unavoidable at times, when planning an evening with specific people, there is no excuse for this.

What are some of the characteristics that make couples a bad choice when trying to decide?

(We are not talking about strangers here, we are strictly speaking about couples you have met before.) Some couples cannot seem to avoid drama. Either there are jealousy issues, one person is more eager to play and the other seems to simply go along, they bad mouth other swingers, some have insecurity issues, etc. Any of these issues will undoubtedly cause trouble when you try to swing with them. Besides, who wants to play with a couple who is going to talk about them after the fact?

What are some qualities you should look for in other swingers?

Good choices are couples who are connected to each other. It is clear that they love and support one another. They do not speak negatively about their partner or claim to be a better catch than their significant other.

Connected couples speak highly of one another and interact in a positive way. They are thoughtful of each other’s feelings and always look to make sure their partner is happy and comfortable. Playing with another couple is clearly something they enjoy for the moment and then they reconnect.

Happy couples make swinging fun. They seem happy when they arrive and they look happy when they leave. On the other hand, couples with issues create an unpleasant atmosphere and are often seen arguing or fighting during or after lifestyle events. These are couples to avoid, after all, who wants to host a couple who will leave your home in a fight?

Swinging is wonderful when it is fun.

When swinging becomes work, most people would agree, they would prefer not to bother. Making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is the most important thing to remember. What is good for you, is good for them. Don’t do to your partner what you would not want to be done to you. If swinging can be done in a positive way, it will enrich your relationship. If you are swinging to make your partner happy, it will never work. Other couples will become the victims of your concession, and that benefits no one.

The next time you are looking for that perfect evening at home with that perfect swinging couple, think about them. Are they happy and drama-free? Do they frequently leave lifestyle events hand in hand or are they arguing as they leave? Is one of them enjoying the sex while the other is laying there staring at the ceiling?  These are things to consider if you want to have fun!

Good luck!

Looking for lifestyle jewelry so other swingers can find you?  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

The journey from unicorn to prostitute; something she never imagined would happen.

Unicorn turned prostitute wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry black ring

A few years ago, you urged me to write about why I had chosen to become a unicorn. It seemed to help people to understand that not every unicorn is in the lifestyle because they want to steal other women’s husbands.  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/unicorn/

My story today is how I took the leap from reliable second female in the FMF, into paid call girl.

Not long into the COVID crisis, I lost my job.  Having little savings and a steady stream of bills to pay, I began to feel desperate.

I had never thought of charging people money for sex, it actually happened rather organically.  

Swing clubs closed down in March and at first, my lifestyle friends resorted to throwing private parties.  They said they would keep everyone safe by only inviting “close” friends.  For me, this made no sense, and the last thing I needed, was to get sick.  I declined every invitation and was clear in explaining that it felt too risky.  

Those parties came to a screeching halt when sadly, several of the party-goers ended up in the hospital with COVID.  Those who did not feel sick quickly got tested to calm their fears.

Soon after, I began to get calls from couples I knew from the lifestyle.  Each asked casually if I would like to join them one evening for drinks at their home.  I might be single, but I’m not stupid.  When a  swinger couple invites me to their home, I know what they are expecting.

Sitting at home for weeks on end was causing me to suffer from cabin fever! When I accepted the first invitation, it never crossed my mind to ask for payment from them.  I was looking forward to a fun evening!  

The night with this couple was great and I felt relaxed knowing they had been tested after the party incident.  When the evening was over, the husband walked me out to my car.  He stuffed a wad of bills into my hand and thanked me.  I was shocked and said he was crazy, but he explained that he was simply trying to help me.  “We are friends, and I understand your current situation.  You need the money, just take it,” he said.  Thanking him, I kissed him and drove home.

Did this make me a prostitute?  Was I just paid for sex?  In my head, I really felt he was being kind and trying to help me.  It was true, I needed the money and I did take a risk going to their home.

A few days later, another couple called with a similar invitation.  I was less friendly with this couple and I hesitated.  Could I accept the invitation but tell them I would expect to be paid?  After considering how thrilled I was with the money I received last time, it was tempting.

I rehearsed what I would say and finally mustered up the courage to call them back.  Thankfully, the call went to voicemail.  It was a quick explanation of my current financial situation and the risk I was taking. I added that for some financial compensation, I would love to join them.

They did not call me back which made me feel awful.  Not because I cared about them, but I felt awful about myself.  During that first day, I went back and forth about it, but ultimately believed it was my right.  I don’t owe anybody anything and I am allowed to set the terms if people want to use me. 

Guess what?  Two days later, another couple phoned.  Same invitation and had already heard from the second couple.  They were happy to “help me out financially”!  I was thrilled!  This time I didn’t have to ask because they already knew.

And just like that, I had gone from unicorn, fun ‘extra’ female, to paid call girl!  The truth is, I don’t feel bad about it.  I am fulfilling a need for these couples and they are doing something to help me in return.  This is a win-win!

Do you like Kennedy’s black ring? Looking for swinger jewelry?  Find it here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

How the official international swinger symbol was created.

Official Internationl Swinger Symbol

Partners ID is proud to report that our swinger symbol is the only official swinger symbol recognized around the world.  We have sold our jewelry in close to 40 countries around the world and we are growing every day!

Why we created a symbol

Prior to entering this business, we did our research.  Did a swinger symbol exist?  If it did, we simply wanted to wear one!  The truth is, it did not.  There was no other symbol in the world that was created to identify swingers.  NASCA had created one in the past but gave us their blessing to create something new.   The closest thing we found was the black ring, but that seemed to be a controversial symbol.  Although swingers tried to designate a specific finger to wear the ring, black rings were readily available so many people wear them who are not swingers.

We did our homework, no symbol existed

After traveling to many different countries, we realized a swinger symbol simply did not exist.  Out of our own personal frustration, we got together with 2 other couples, from other countries, and decided to create a unique swinger symbol. Something that could not be confused or easily guessed by others.

The creation of the actual swinger symbol

This was no small undertaking.   It was important to design something symbolic of the lifestyle.  (Read about the meaning of our pendant here): https://www.swingersjewelry.net/what-does-the-pendant-mean                                            A symbol that could not simply be googled to discover its meaning, was of utmost importance.  If the design was too basic, anyone who saw the logo would be able to uncover its meaning, and that was something we wanted to avoid.  For us, a swinger symbol needed to be both beautiful, discreet, and private.

The process was a long one

When the swinger symbol design was finalized, we went through the process of mock-ups and had to decide on materials and colors, etc.  Next came the process of trying to figure out how to let people know about this symbol and what it represents.  

Why the name Partners ID?

We chose the name Partners ID to keep it meaningful but professional.  If anyone saw the name on a package, it would not be cause for concern.  We hired someone in the lifestyle to create our social media profiles and write blogs for our website.  Every photo, every design, everything we have done was with swingers in mind.  It is now an honor to receive emails from our customers relating to how they met other swingers because they wore our jewelry.

Including other swingers in the process, was important to us

Your opinions and feedback and are always extremely important to us. Each email and suggestion is taken seriously and discussed at monthly meetings.  We have donated jewelry for countless events and try to be an integral part of the community.  All the while, we continued listening to what those in the lifestyle want for their swinger symbol.  

The black ring with the swinger symbol is our design

When we discovered many swingers loved the black ring, we came up with the idea to put our logo on it to take the guess work out.  Experimenting with tattoos at a takeover proved swingers wanted our logo on a tattoo and so we created those.  Bumper stickers?  We created those as well.  A yard sign?  A beach flag?  All at our customers’ requests. 

There will always be copy cats…

This is what it takes to become the company that created the international symbol for swingers.  There can only be one swinger symbol or the purpose is mute.  Just like any other group, it is important to embrace one symbol and to wear it with pride.  The best part of our swinger symbol is that it is only known to those in the lifestyle.  They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and we will accept the imitators with grace, knowing that they have simply copied both our ideas and products.

Just like swingers wanted the black ring, they want more than jewelry options…

We have expanded our line to include anything you can desire with our swinger symbol on it.  Although we personally sell mostly jewelry, we have partnered with other companies to provide an array of products.  If you are looking for jewelry, our website, our Etsy store, and Amazon carries those items:  

www.swingerjewelry.net      https://www.etsy.com/shop/Swingersjewelry  

For other items, you can find them here:

https://www.redbubble.com/people/Partners-ID/shop

https://www.cafepress.com/profile/partnersid

Imagine sending photos intended for swinger friends to your parents!

Photo of naked provocative woman wearing Partners ID jewelry
Taking photos is a wonderful way to capture memories of every kind.  From the day we are born, the cameras start flashing to ensure memories of this special event.  We embrace our photos as prized possessions and something tangible to remind us of the good times in our lives.  Birthdays, graduations, vacations with our families, holidays and good times with our friends.
 Swingers are no different, but their collections of photos are typically quite different from most people’s photos.  People in the lifestyle seem to take quite a bit of illicit pictures of themselves, and often their friends.  Check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or swinger websites. You will be inundated with more nude and pornographic photos than you can imagine.  Part of the fun of taking these photos is sharing them with your swinger friends, right?
 It is also common for swinger couples who have been speaking over the internet to request pictures of each other.  After all, you would like to see recent photos prior to meeting them.  It’s only logical then that you would choose to email these photos.  No big deal, right?  You pick out your favorite face shots. Then you look for that perfect sexy shot of the two of you engaged in some kind of sex act.  Maybe you like the one where you are giving your husband a blowjob while a black male is behind you. No?  Perhaps the one when your girlfriend is going down on you.   Type in the recipient’s email address and push send.  What could be simpler?  Although it should be a simple and private way to communicate, it does not always work that way.  We are human and computers do not always seem to be on the same page we are.

Swinger woman playing with herself wearing Partners ID bracelet

Sometimes the computer seems to magically change recipients without our knowledge.  I am sure it has happened to everyone:  you intend a message to go to one person and somehow it ends up going to someone else.  For most messages, this is simply a hassle or perhaps just plain annoying.  If you are a swinger, this particular type of scenario can be a whole lot worse.  You push send and as soon as your finger hits the button you see what’s happened!  The email is not addressed to your new friends at all but rather to your father!  OMG!  This actually happened to someone we know.
How about when your friends bring you into a group text message.  You and your vanilla friends agree on where to go for lunch or share some gossip about someone you all know.  We all have these group texts.  Not a problem until you decide to share some erotic photos with the swinger couple you played with the previous evening. It accidentally gets sent out in a group text.  There’s really nothing you can say because as we have heard, a picture is worth a thousand words.  Can you even imagine the conversation about you between your vanilla friends?  I shudder to think about it.
A couple was celebrating New Year’s Eve in a swing club and told their children they were heading out for a romantic dinner.  The club looked so beautiful they could not resist asking someone to take a picture of them against the festive backdrop.  They looked at the picture in the club that night and liked it so much they sent it right out to their children.  What they did not notice until the next day was that in the background was a monitor with porn.   There was nothing they could think of to explain this.
Another couple celebrated Halloween in a swing club and loved their clever costumes.  They asked a friend to take a photo of them and as they posed for the photo, a friend joined in for the shot.  When they checked the photo, they thought it was adorable.  The next day they met her parents for dinner and took out their phone to show them their cute costumes.  As they enlarged the picture, they realized the girl who joined in the shot had pulled her top down and her breasts were exposed.  It is very hard to think of what to say in these situations to somehow make things sound normal.
It seems that as long as swingers are snapping pictures of themselves and each other in compromising positions, there will always be the possibility of a mishap.  This does keep things interesting, no?

Two lifestyle couples meet when one tattoos our symbol onto her face mask!

Hi Partners ID!

This coronavirus has really made everything lifestyle related very difficult.  We were planning to be on a lifestyle cruise in March but that was canceled.  April was filled with plans for private hotel parties and get-togethers with friends but obviously these plans were all canceled. 

While my boyfriend and I are enjoying the time at home, we do miss our lifestyle friends.  We have enjoyed a few zoom parties and virtual sex with friends but let’s face it, it’s not the same.  It is impossible to duplicate the feeling of meeting up with our friends, both old and new, for lifestyle-related fun.

Out of boredom the other day, I took a face mask and applied a tattoo that we received as a gift when we purchased jewelry from you.  My boyfriend loved it and so I made one for him as well.  We took pictures of ourselves and decided we had to wear them when we went out food shopping.  

It became obvious at the grocery store that nobody was paying any attention to me.  They would not see the symbol on my mask because people were mainly concerned with keeping their distance from each other.  We both wore our masks with the symbol each time we went out but it always seemed that people were more interested in avoiding other people than connecting.

Somehow, it always seems when you least expect it, someone seems to notice!  My dog wasn’t feeling well so I ran her over to see our vet.  Their office is very large so they simply ask the customers to social distance in the waiting room.  I was watching tv when a woman sitting across from me waved to get my attention.  As I looked up she pointed to my mask and told me she loved it and wanted to buy one.  Unsure if she really knew the meaning or liked the decoration I laughed.  She told me she was serious that she had a necklace with that pendant and then I knew.  

Honestly, I never expected anyone to know what the symbol meant but clearly I was wrong!  She gave me her phone number and I promised to make one for her.  How fun that we met this other couple from the mask!  Maybe you should consider selling masks!

I thought you would enjoy this!

Stay safe!

Cathy and Keith

Framingham, MA

To see our lifestyle jewelry and tattoos, visit us here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/shop

How easy it is to meet others swingers when you spot our lifestyle symbol.

 

Dear Partners ID,

We read all of your blogs and really enjoy reading about how people meet other swingers while wearing your jewelry. The need for a lifestyle symbol is over, you created it and it works.    Here is how we know this for sure!

A few months ago, we purchased two black rings from your website.  You were running a promotion that included a free bumper sticker.  When the package arrived, we slipped on the rings (which we love) and decided to put the bumper sticker on our mailbox.  The simple design seems to go unnoticed by people who don’t know what it means.

About one week after adhering the sticker, I found a plain white envelope on top of the mail left in the box.  It simply had our address scrawled on it.  I opened the envelope and there was a note with a business card.  I was about to toss it aside when I noticed the sexy couple pictured on the card.

The note was from a couple who passes our house every day on their way to work.  They noticed the sticker on the mailbox and wanted to say hi.  I picked up the card and looked carefully at the couple in the picture.  There was an email address and a Kasidie screen name.  

I ran to my computer and looked at their profile on Kasidie.  They looked to be a bit younger than we are but both looked attractive.  As soon as my husband returned home I showed him the note.  He was shocked that someone actually noticed the sticker and acted on it.

We sent an email and invited them for cocktails.  They accepted the invitation and we made plans for that same weekend.  Long story short, this couple lives one street over and our children go to school together.  This was the first time either of us had seen each other.  

Cocktails turned into a quick pizza dinner and they stayed well past midnight.  I would have liked to say we played with them but as I mentioned, we have children so that was not possible.  We do have plans to meet out for dinner and (maybe more) in a few weeks.  I can’t tell you how excited we are!  

They have been in the lifestyle for a few years and recognized the lifestyle sticker as soon as they saw it.  It took a few days to figure out how to approach us but this worked!

Thank you for the added gift!  We have new friends who live one block from us!  We would never have met them if not for the sticker!  

Looking forward to our future rendezvous!  

Big hugs!

Jessie and Brian

Livingston, NJ

We are still offering free bumper stickers (or mailbox stickers) for free with the purchase of 2 black rings.  You can see them here:

The Partners ID Black Lifestyle Ring – Buy 2 Rings get a FREE Bumper Sticker

 

Have you ever been sure another couple swings but did not want to ask?

Woman at barbecue with swingers necklace

Hi Partners ID,

This story should help others realize why this jewelry is important.  Everyone in the lifestyle spends so much time trying to find other swingers.  Half the time, they are right under your nose, you just don’t realize it!

My wife and I are big football fans.  Having both grown up in the same state, we are fortunate to root for the same team. Our three boys are also very big fans of the sport as well.  For years we had 5 season tickets and never missed a game.  We tailgated before every game and never left before it was over. 

Now that our sons are grown and have lives of their own, it is just the two of us attending games.  We still enjoy tailgating and have met many people over the years who do the same.  

Here’s the part you are waiting for.  As we have met many couples over the years at football games, we have had our suspicions  about which ones might be in the lifestyle.  Although we have always prided ourselves on having an ability to pick out the swingers, this was not a place we wanted to take the chance.  We tried dropping hints, using the term vanilla, etc., but no bites from any of the couples we suspected.   It got to the point that my wife wanted to simply ask two of the couples.  She was so sure that they were both in the lifestyle.  I begged her not to out us to this group just in case she was wrong.

Many couples at our local swing club wear Partners ID jewelry.  Having admired it for so long, we decided to each buy a piece.  As we know by now, most swingers are aware of your jewelry and so we decided to wear ours to a football game.  We made sure it was easy for other people to see it during the tailgating party.  We made it a point to speak with all the couples we had suspected might be in the lifestyle.  Nothing!  I had a moment when someone admired it but I realized it was just a compliment and nothing more.  It seemed pretty obvious that these couples were probably not swingers. 

During the game, I left my wife to go the restroom.  When I returned, a woman was sitting in my seat chatting with my wife.  When she saw me she jumped up.  She took out her cellphone and handed it to my wife, who inputted her number and said we would be in touch.  My wife introduced me to the woman before she quickly returned to her own seat.  

Guess what, she saw the jewelry!  They have had the seats a few rows in front of us for 7 years and had often waved to us.  Although, prior to today, we had no way of knowing, they are swingers!  

We did meet them for drinks the following weekend and they are a super couple. It turns out, this couple noticed us about 5 years ago.  They had no idea we were in the lifestyle and had no intentions of ever asking.  It was the jewelry that told them that we are swingers!  There is no question that we will see them again soon.

The most unfortunate part of this story is that it made us think about all of the missed opportunities.  Obviously this is not the only time we have been around other swingers and simply had no way of knowing.  

We now wear it everyday and look forward to discovering who else we have been overlooking all of this time!

Thanks for listening!

Warmest wishes,

David and Kate

Miami, FL

See the beautiful jewelry David and Kate were wearing here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Ecstasy party PART 2; it was just as hilarious the second time.

Ecstasy fueled party goers.

So the first ecstasy party was a flop.  Nobody enjoyed the experience, yet everyone was willing to come back and try again.  This time we decided to invite another couple and one couple asked to bring a couple as well.  The couple that we invited, were planning to take the ecstasy with us.  The other couple, for some reason, was not included in this plan and were not told we would all be high. 

Again, all of the couples were instructed to arrive promptly so we could take it at the same time.  We again followed the advice about what and when to eat prior to taking the pill. 

 Our friend unfolded his napkin and cut the pink hearts into pieces.  After my first experience, I asked for a smaller piece hoping the effect would be lessened.  

One couple was running late so we decided not to wait for them.  All of the other couples who had planned to take it were at our house, the one who did not know about it had not yet arrived.

We each took our portion and went outside to wait for the others to arrive.  The couple who was planning to take it, arrived about an hour later, a short time after it had started to hit us all.  They were met in the kitchen by the man with the pills and they each took a half.  

The woman went outside to greet me and when she discovered I was not outside, it didn’t take her long to find me.  There I was, standing by the restroom door, staring up at the light.  Lying on the floor next to me was my friend who was looking for the draft from under the door.  She thought it was hilarious but my friend and I agreed that we already regretted the decision to do this again.

We all went outside and a short time later I heard the doorbell ring.  I opened it and was greeted by the couple that had been invited by my friend.  They held up a bag and followed me into the kitchen.  The man reached in and pulled out a shrimp platter and a bag of uncooked rice.  He started asking me where he could find different utensils in the kitchen.  I was so high at this point that I couldn’t cope so I turned around and walked away.  Luckily, one woman (Snow White), did not take ecstasy this time and stepped in to help him.  

Reflecting back on this moment the next day, I conceded that I was not getting the hostess of the year award.  I literally turned my back on one friend in the hot tub at the first party and this time I walked away while this guest was asking for something.  Ecstasy does not make me friendly or warm…

The party once again found its way into the hot tub.  (Yes, we have since learned that dancing and staying active would have yielded a different result.)  The friend who had arrived later started to feel the effects and was lying across everyone while we sat in the hot tub.  Not for a sexual reason but simply because she thought there was plenty of room (which, as you can see from the picture, is not entirely accurate).

The mood was relaxed, everyone was naked and thankfully, Snow White was not high, but rather nursing a drink.  The woman who took ecstasy but did not attend the first party started to get frisky.  She was asking to suck everyone’s toes and was moving from lap to lap giving everyone a kiss.  For me, the effect was the same and as soon as she started bugging me to let her suck my toes I had to leave for the restroom.  

Somehow getting sick seems to make the effect of the ecstasy easier for me to handle.  Even though I took a smaller piece, it was still way too intense.   Just like the first time, this took the edge off and I felt ok.  

As I passed the family room on my way back outside, Snow White and the new man (who also did not take anything) were getting busy on the sofa.  Finally, there were people playing at our swinger party!

Outside, I noticed this man’s wife was sitting quietly with Snow White’s husband away from the group.  I could smell that they were smoking weed while deep in conversation.  

I slipped back into the hot tub, drink in hand, to catch up with what had been happening.  Everyone was still chatting but they were getting warmer and there was some kissing and touching between couples.  Soon the friend who thought our hot tub had ample room to lie across and her husband left for inside.  With more room for everyone, we tried once again to see how well ecstasy works for playtime.

Unfortunately, the answer is it did not work at all.  Now there were 5 men and it did not work for any of them.  The newcomer was shocked and said this was not typical for him at all.  We all laughed because we had heard this before.  

Eventually, we gave up the dream of sex and moved the party across the porch for some birthday cake.  It was a large sheet cake with a naked 3-D woman with very large breasts.  We sang happy birthday and everyone gathered around to eat some cake.  The woman who had been smoking pot leaned over the cake and took an entire buttercream boob into her mouth.  Seeing this made me feel nauseous all over again and I went into the house to cool off and see some light (has a very calming effect for some reason).  

On my way back outside, I was passing through our sliding glass doors.  When one side is open, the other side is housing that piece of glass so it is closed.  As I walked over the threshold I noticed the girl who was smoking pot walking into the house on the other side of the door.  Before I could react, she walked face-first into the glass.  She literally fell backward and I could see the blood on her face as she fell.  It was so shocking and as I looked behind her, everyone was gasping and laughing simultaneously.  It was not funny but don’t forget we were all wasted!  

Thankfully she was ok.  

The rest of the night passed without any more problems (thankfully).  

My take away from these two parties is the danger we put ourselves in when taking drugs.  During both parties, we had to deal with either illness or injury.  Luckily neither was serious enough to require outside help but I’m not sure we were capable of making good decisions either time.   What if our children had called and needed our assistance?  Neither of us was in any condition to help.  

Neither of us regrets our decision to try ecstasy but neither of us has any interest in taking it again.  Alcohol is at least predictable and controllable as long as we drink in moderation.

As Monogamish Marriage said in her reply to our story, “Wow! This is an ecstasy-driven comedy of errors! Hilarious to read now, but probably not so funny at the time.”  That sums it up!

If you did not read part 1 you can find it here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/ecstasy/

To read Monogamish Marriages’ experience with MDMA, click here: https://themonogamishmarriage.com/2020/03/09/sex-on-mdma/ 

Looking for other swingers? Find it here: 

Women in the lifestyle, what do they gain from swinging?

Couple in lifestyle wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

What brings women into the lifestyle?

For women who are not in the lifestyle, it is common for them to believe that women are not really in the lifestyle on their own accord.  Most vanilla women tend to think women are being pushed into this by their partners.  This wild life of sex can only be something that appeals to men.

Is this true?  Are women only in the lifestyle to make their significant others happy?  The best way to find out what is fact and what is fiction is to see for one’s self.

While the swinging lifestyle conjures up images of orgies and gang bangs, it really is so much more than that.  It is a lifestyle of friendship and acceptance.  It is a wold of open minded adults coming together for a common good.

What do women gain from the lifestyle? 

The first thing that comes to mind is confidence.  The lifestyle is not only about you and your partner as a couple, it is also about you as an individual.

Let’s be honest, it is not easy growing up female.  Most women would agree that we are held to a much higher standard than men.  First, we are expected to be perfect.  Not only the way that we look and dress but the way that we act.  This is something that begins when we are very young.  Unfortunately the standards don’t really change as we age.  

To begin with, young girls are constantly seeing images of  beautiful women in magazines and on tv.  These ideals are things that girls grow up believing to be of utmost importance.  If having a perfect  body, hair, makeup and clothing is not a must, why are those predominantly the images we see.  

Women have been calling for change for at least the past several decades and although we have made many strides, we are still falling short.  

If you google “Top Female Celebrities 2018” you will see what I’m referring to.  The first 15 names to appear on that list:

Jennifer Lawrence

Scarlett Johansson

Selena Gomez

Natalie Portman

Mila Kunis

Emma Watson

Emma Stone

Ariana Grande

Nina Dobrev

Megan Fox

Blake Lively

Beyonce

Rhianna

Charlize Theron

Jessica Alba

There were still two more women before I even got to Angelina Jolie.  Imagine, this is the list and I did not even query attractive or hot in my search.  Imagine if I had…

So here are the top female celebrities from 2018. These are the faces and bodies that little girls are growing up comparing themselves to.  It is easy to see why women are so critical of their own looks. 

The other standard that only seems to apply to women is with regard to sex.  When men sleep around they are studs, when women do it they are whores.  Why the double standard?

 Enter the lifestyle…

Before entering the lifestyle, I imagined every woman would be a perfect 10.  The thought of competing with such beautiful women for the attention of men seemed daunting.  It was reminiscent of high school and made me very nervous.  

Our first night to a swing club proved me wrong.  The variety of women that were in the club was a huge surprise.  Some old, some young, some thin, some over weight, some tall, some short, etc.  Many women were wearing sexy dresses, many wore jeans and sandals.   There was definitely no predominant “type” of woman.

It did not take long to discover that women in the club were sexy for a whole different reason than the size of their body parts.  I also discovered that women in the lifestyle were applauded and held in high regard for their sexuality.  Suddenly, the double standard was gone.  Women who had spent their lives hiding their desire to explore sex and their sexuality were applauded.

The lifestyle empowers women.  It allows them the freedom of expression in every way possible. No more judgment about either their size or their sexual appetite.  

The lifestyle proves to women that regardless of their appearance, others will find them attractive.  Some people like bigger women, some like smaller, just like women all have different ideas of what makes a man or another woman attractive.

Women have a lot of power in the lifestyle and it spills into their real lives as well.  The lifestyle gives a voice to women.  Women soon discover that they are not there to please their partners but rather to please themselves.  The lifestyle teaches women to love their bodies.  Many lifestyle venues are a mixture of nudists and swingers, both who seem confident in their naked bodies.  This is a beautiful thing.

The bottom line?  What women gain from swinging is more than just fabulous sex.  It allows them the freedom to be who they are and to feel good about it.  

Check out our lifestyle jewelry! Makes it easy to spot and meet other swingers! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/