Is a key party just a more polite way of saying swinger party?

Friends at a key party wearing Partners ID jewelry
Friends at a key party wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

Key party?  What on earth is a key party?!

Believe it or not, the subject of swinging was brought up recently by my mother; yes, my mother. The funny thing is, this isn’t the first time.

I can remember when I was in my late teens, we bumped into a woman who lived down the street. The woman kissed my mother on both cheeks (which I found very odd since this woman was born and raised in NY) and admonished my mother for not joining them at their last party. “We have been dying to get you and Dan to come to our parties! Trust me darling, you will love them!”

I thought it was odd that this woman spoke about parties as though they were a regular occurrence at her home and I thought it more odd that my parents were invited and were declining the invitation(s).

As we walked away I asked my mother why she didn’t want to go to this woman’s parties. She turned and looked at me as if to decide if I were old enough to hear her answer. Apparently she thought I was, so she told me that this woman and her husband were throwing key parties once a month at their home. Key parties? I searched my brain for a possible explanation for what a key party could possibly mean but I came up blank. I looked at her and shook my head to show her I had no idea what that meant.

“A key party is where you go to someone’s home and at the end of the night you all throw your house keys into a pile. Each woman picks a key and goes home to spend the night with the man who owns that house key.” I can remember trying to wrap my head around what she had just explained to me but there was no part of me that could make any sense of this. I had so many questions but I chose to continue with the most pressing:

“What if you pick a key and don’t the like the man it belongs to,” I asked. “Exactly the reason I would never want to participate in a key party” my mother explained.

So you randomly pick a key and that’s what decides who you go home with?!

That didn’t help my head to understand this whole thing. My mother’s answer confused me as much as her explanation of the party! I couldn’t help but think that she would be ok with the whole thing if she could choose the man with whom she would spend the night.

Is this what adults did? How come I had never heard about this before? Neighbors were sleeping with neighbors? The woman who was throwing these parties had a son who was a good friend of mine. Did he know about these parties? What did he think? Who else was going to these parties? I had so many questions! When I tried to bring up the subject of these alleged key parties of few days later with my mother, she simply said she was joking. She said that was what she had heard but didn’t really know if there was any truth to it. That was the last time we talked about it. Obviously, it was a conversation I never forgot.

Fast forward to yesterday. I am no longer in my late teens so perhaps now I am really old enough to hear the truth.

“Someone told your father that there is a whole group of younger people where we live that are swapping wives,” my mother reported. “Your father seemed shocked but I reminded him that way back when, everyone at our country club up north was doing the same thing.”

I asked if she was referring to those infamous key parties she had once mentioned. “Oh, no, this is something different. For years, many couples at the club were sleeping with each other. Everyone knew about it.”

Everyone but me…

Before I had the chance to ask, she named a few couples that did not surprise me to hear about, but did not include herself and my father. I didn’t ask and she didn’t say anything more. Although I can’t say for sure, I don’t think they were swingers. Maybe I am wrong, but since she knows a small bit about my lifestyle (kind of a don’t ask don’t tell type thing), she certainly knows I am open to swinging.

Does every adult get invited to a key party?

When I was newly married and had moved with my husband to a new state, I remember hearing about a key club in a nearby community. I was shocked to hear mention of this “key party” thing again. I was once again curious as to whether this was something common amongst married couples. Eventually, someone did approach us about attending one of their parties but we declined. When we had young children and were relatively newly married, it was as far off my radar as could be. I couldn’t in a million years imagine ever wanting any part of that.

Obviously, over time, we changed, but it was when the time was right for us. We also never took part in a “key party” for the same reason my mother claimed she did not. If I were going to play with someone else, I didn’t want to leave it to chance. I wanted to choose the person who would be good for me and I wanted to do it with my husband right there.

Maybe swinging is just not that uncommon…

The thing that interests me the most is not the history of the key party, but rather that they seem to be relatively common. When my mother mentioned this latest discovery about the young group where they live having sex with each other, my fist inclination was to say that it seems swinging is much more common than even I had realized. She looked at me funny and said, “Who said they are swingers?”

This always brings me back to the same question: Are married people having sex with friends but not referring to this as swinging? Are “key parties” not swinger parties? In my book, married couples who are having sex with other married couples are swingers. From what I am realizing, it is actually very common and it seems to be very wide spread.

It seems people don’t like to be labeled. This is not something new either. Perhaps if we found another way to refer to swingers more people would want in. Maybe we can just call swingers fun couples. I would bet that if that was the term to replace swingers, more people would admit to their open minded ways. After all, who doesn’t want to be a fun couple?

Love does play a role in swinging but not in the way people might imagine.

Couple in love wearing Partners ID jewelry
Couple in love wearing Partners ID jewelry

When we think about swinging, we do not think about love. The purpose of swinging is to have fun. To find another couple or a single man or woman to fulfill a fantasy. Sex is a physical act and does not require love to participate. Swinging equates to sex without love whereas a marriage incorporates love and sex.

To people who are not in the lifestyle, it is a very difficult concept for them to grasp. They frequently ask if couples in the lifestyle if they are afraid that their partner could fall in love with someone else. Sure, anything is possible, but you do not have to be a swinger to be at risk of falling in love with someone else.

Swinging has nothing to do with love. Swingers do not seek out the lifestyle to find a partner to share their life with. Single swingers might be looking for someone who shares their lifestyle views but couples are not there for this reason.

Vanilla couples cannot understand how swingers do not get jealous when they see their partner with someone else but it always reminds me of something from the Bible. The following is a part of the passage, not the entire thing: (I am not religious, or Catholic, but this always comes to mind):

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not put on airs, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. So Faith, Hope and Love abide these three; But the Greatest of these is Love.”

In my opinion, the only role love plays in swinging, is between the couple that decides together that they would like to explore the  lifestyle.  You love your partner enough to give them the freedom to partake in things they otherwise could not, and you find joy in seeing them enjoy those things.  You have faith in your partner; you allow them to play because you are sure they will come back to you.   You are able to express love for each other by forging your own path.  You do not allow others to dictate to you what is normal.  Although society equates love with monogamy, you choose to define love your own way and you know the love between you and your partner is mutually exclusive.  You hope that your love is forever and that these experiences will only enrich your lives.

There is no love between couples that play but there can be infatuation or lust.  How can you love someone that you don’t really know?  The person who shows up at parties or swing clubs or on vacations or cruises allows you to see only a small part of who they are.  The real person is the one who has to get up for work in the mornings; the person who has to clean up after their children or their dog.  The true person is not always dancing and having fun but paying bills and dealing with stress.  Until you know that person, how can you really know that you love them?

The part of swinging that makes it so enjoyable is that we get to dress up, have a few drinks, dance or socialize then move onto the swinging aspect.  Spending an evening with swingers is like going out on New Year’s Eve.  It’s always a big party, but is that real life?  It is an awful lot of fun and the environment lends itself to getting hot for other people, but that is the whole point.  We go into swing clubs looking for others to spend a few hours with but not our lives.

If people in the lifestyle were not able to separate sex and love, swinging could not exist.  It is the rare couple who can find that delicate balance and make it work.  If couples were constantly falling in love with each other, swing clubs would be empty.  Who would want to risk their relationship for an evening of fun?
The most important thing is to keep perspective.  Having sex with someone else is just for a moment of pleasure, whereas being in a committed relationship is hopefully for a lifetime.

My name is Chris and I’ve been swinging for over 20 years.

Chris, who has been swinging for 20 years, sipping coffee wearing a Partners ID necklace
Man sipping coffe wearing Partners ID necklace.

My name is Chris and I have been swinging for over 20 years.  This is the first time I have ever met swingers without actually seeking them out either online or by attending a swinger’s event.

I often travel for business and my wife and I have an open marriage. What happens on the road, stays on the road and what my wife does while I’m on the road is all good. (I just want to hear all about it).

Recently my work took me to Boston, MA and while I have been there before, I never really thought of is as a place that would be riddled with swingers. Boston is a college town with so many young people that I never thought much about swinging when I visited in the past.

What set this trip apart was that my wife surprised me for our anniversary and bought me a beautiful gold and silver necklace from you, which of course has the pendant for swingers. I wear it everyday but never really expected to meet random swingers. Well, I was wrong on two accountants. First, Boston is a whole lot more than a college town, and second, you will meet random swingers when you wear the jewelry.

After spending the morning in a meeting, I needed to get some fresh air. I walked out to find a Starbucks so I could sit and answer some emails on my computer. I ordered some coffee, sat down at a table, and got to work. About 5 minutes after sitting down, a couple walked over and asked if they could sit at the table with me. I glanced up at them and told them no problem. We were sitting in a corner where we had relative privacy. Starbucks was busy and it was quite loud. I looked back down and started to type when I overheard the conversation between the couple. They were discussing their travel plans for an upcoming vacation to Miami and how they were excited to finally meet a couple they were talking to on SDC. As soon as I heard SDC I looked up and they were both looking at me. I didn’t say anything but the woman asked me if I was on SDC. I was taken back but then she pointed to my necklace.

Honestly I couldn’t believe it! I took out my headphones and told her I was on SDC and assumed they were as well. She opened her bag, took out a card and handed it to me. She said she hoped to hear from me soon. With that, the two of the them got up from the table and left. I was so shocked I could barely believe what had just happened. How lucky to be in the right place at the right time!

Needless to say, i immediately signed on to SDC to check them out. They looked to be a very hot couple who are totally open so I sent them an email telling them I was only in town until the next day but would love to meet up with them. I got a response from them within a half an hour inviting me to their home that evening.

I won’t go into too much detail but I will say it was a wonderful experience that I would never have had if it were not for wearing your necklace. As you can see I have placed an order for a few more pieces. Although my new friends knew what the jewelry meant, they did not own the jewelry. As a thank you I have purchased these pieces for them.

I’m very excited for what I might experience in the future. We have been swinging for more than 20 years and nothing like this has ever happened to me before. This is a great help for swingers who like to meet others in unlikely places.

That’s my story!

Chris K.

Swinging is not cheating; understanding the difference.

Couple who swings, doesn't cheat.  Wearing Parners ID jewelry
Couple who swings, doesn’t cheat. Wearing Parners ID jewelry

 

 

 

Swingers have a clear understanding of what swinging means and they definitely do not consider themselves cheaters.  The percentage of people in the lifestyle who cheat on their spouses is significantly lower than the percentage in the population at large.  Before we can talk about cheating, let’s discuss what the word really means.   According to dictionary.com a cheater is  a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds.    I do not see how swingers are guilty of this in any way as real swingers bring their partners with them when they actively swing.   In any group  of people, regardless of their sexual orientation, preferences, religions, politics, etc, you will find some ‘bad apples’, but as we know, we cannot judge an entire group of people based on a few misguided souls.

It is important to consider why someone in a committed relationship  might cheat on their spouse.   One reason someone might cheat is because they are not satisfied with the sex they are having with their partner.  It could be that the actual act itself is not what one person needs to feel fulfilled or perhaps it is not frequent enough.  Perhaps the cheater has met someone and is physically attracted to them.  Some people who have been married for a while feel the need to be attractive to someone else. Another scenario could be that the couple is not connecting and having problems; be it money, kids, whatever, and the result is lack of interest in having sex with each other.  Maybe the spouse has stopped taking care of themselves and is unappealing to their partner.  Whatever the case may be, the end result is that this person looks to have sex with someone else and keeps it a secret from their spouse or significant other.  This is cheating and ultimately will lead to a problem between the couple if it is discovered.

Let us now look at swinging.  Swinging is done with your partner.  The couple enters the lifestyle and chooses to seek out a sexual relationship with another couple or a single swinger.  It does not really matter why the couple has decided to do this, but rather the fact that it is done in plain view of each other.  There are no secrets or deceptions here.  If you watch a couple playing with another couple, you will usually see the spouses interacting with each other while they are playing with someone else.  A hand on their shoulder, a kiss, a helpful hand down there, whatever it is, you will see that this is something they are doing together.  That is very different from sneaking into a hotel room while your spouse is at work or with the kids to have sex with someone else.  Even when swingers decide to play separately, they do it with permission from their partner.

If you have a relationship like swingers do, why would you cheat?  It is very liberating to be so open and honest with your partner about everything you are doing, why would you bother doing this behind their back?  For most couples who swing, they have formed a very strong bond.  They are even more connected because they share a secret lifestyle that most choose not to expose to others in their lives.  This “secret” can be a strong glue for couples.

Let’s be honest, sex is exciting but often put on a back burner for married couples.  They have busy lives and are often too tired for sex.  They imagine it is mutual and so it can become as much of a routine to not have sex as it once was to have sex.  This can be a slippery slope in marriage as intimacy is a critical component to long lasting successful marriages.  Swingers have very active sex lives, but not every night out to a swing club results in playing with someone else.  Frequently, married swingers will play alone together if nothing else presents itself during that night, and both are usually perfect happy.

One of the big differences between couples in the lifestyle and those who are not is how open couples in the lifestyle are with each other.  When you take jealousy off the table, love can be limitless.  When someone has doubts or fears about their partner’s fidelity, it puts space between a couple.  If every time you see their sexy coworker or watch them come alive when an attractive waiter or waitress flirts with them and secretly wonder what they are thinking, it does not help your relationship.  This wondering casts a shadow on your relationship as it creates doubt and insecurity.   It is common, however,  for couples in the lifestyle to turn a blind eye to sexy coworkers and others because they know they can have what they want in the lifestyle.  They do not look for validation in everyday situations with attractive people because they do not need it.  Vanilla couples, rely on these interactions to gauge if people still find them attractive.

It is said that humans are not monogamous by nature and perhaps this is why it can be such a struggle for couples in long term relationships to remain faithful to one another.  It would seem that for this reason, the lifestyle can offer couples a way to remain together for the long haul.  Many couples are very happily married to their partner, except when it comes to sex.  Why break up a happy marriage when there are alternatives?  Obviously, swinging is not for everyone and people in the lifestyle know that.  Why then do people not accept the fact that monogamy is not for everyone?

Lifestyle jewelry makes it so easy to find other swingers; just ask this bartender!

Handsome bartender wearing Partners ID bracelet
Handsome bartender wearing Partners ID bracelet

 

 

Dear Partners ID,

I’m not much of a letter writer but after reading some of the other letters people sent about how they met others because of your jewelry I figured I’d give it a shot.

I am a 38 year old single man and I used to swing with my long term girlfriend. We live pretty close to a swing club and we used to spend a lot of time there. After we broke up I was not comfortable going alone so I have pretty much been out of the lifestyle since our breakup last year.

I do have a profile on Kasidie but single guys have a hard time simply because of the sheer number of them. When I meet women and try to talk about the lifestyle, it doesn’t go over very well.

I took a vacation a few months ago to Desire (brought a girl I was seeing, very bad idea), and discovered your jewelry. I had actually heard about it but didn’t realize that I was the perfect candidate to wear it. I saw quite a few people wearing it and decided to buy a bracelet. I like it a lot and whenever I have worn it I get a lot of compliments on it.

I work in a very busy bar in downtown Houston. The bar is a hangout for locals and on the weekends packs a big crowd. Last Thursday night I was working and two couples were doing shots of whiskey when one of the women asked to see my bracelet. As I turned my wrist to give her a closer look she slipped a card in my hand. It was a personal card with their SDC screen name and your logo! I laughed and she told me they were having a house party the following weekend and wanted me to come.

It was that simple! I couldn’t believe how easy that was. After all this time of looking and trying to find a way to get back into the lifestyle! Needless to say I am going to this party and just wanted to thank you!

Happy Holidays!

AJ

Why you must be able to trust your partner in order to be successful in the lifestyle.

Woman with trust issues . All 3 wearing Parnters ID jewelry
Woman feels left out. All 3 wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

Trust is something that is vitally important for any relationship to be successful. Some people believe that trust is more important than love in order to sustain a healthy relationship with another person. According to dictionary.com, trust means the following:

1. Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. Confident expectation of something; hope.
3. Confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit:

If you cannot rely upon or have confidence in the person you share your life with, there are sure to be problems between the two of you. Having trust in another person allows you to feel both confident and safe.

What are some of the ways in which people allow others to trust them?

For one, being dependable for you partner is critical. If your partner knows that regardless of the situation they can turn to you for help and you will be there for them, that helps to build a solid foundation. Supporting your partner is very important. If they need to talk to you about something, be available to them. Don’t diminish their feelings when they open up about something that concerns them. Even if something seems silly or unimportant to you, it might feel the exact opposite to them. Make sure your partner knows you care about them. Don’t just nod your head when they speak, listen to what they are saying and try to help them through the situation.

Trust is not built around control. If you try to control your partner, it makes them feel that you have no confidence in them. Allow them the freedom to do what is best for them and for you, without your interference. Show your partner respect by trusting them around other people. If something is bothering you, discuss it with your partner, not other people. Talking about your partner is never helpful in either resolving problems or in building trust between the two of you.

So how does trust come into play in the lifestyle? Most people believe that their fellow swingers have no trust issues with their partners. How can they? Swinging is built around the philosophy of an open marriage. Without trust, how could you possibly swing?

Trust is critically important in the lifestyle, perhaps even more so, than in the vanilla world. Swingers allow their partners to not only flirt with others, but to have sex with other people. The majority of their time spent in lifestyle venues is for the purpose of finding others to have sex with. If something is happening that makes one person uncomfortable, this could lead to disaster for the couple.

In order for swingers to be successful in the lifestyle, couples must be proficient in communicating with one another. Nothing can be held back when talking about the lifestyle. If one person is feeling insecure or uncomfortable about something, it must be spoken about immediately. Trust is the most important factor in determining the success or failure of a couple who decides to enter the lifestyle.

Often times one person is actually acting in a way that their partner finds offensive but to keep the peace, they let it slide. It is very important to make sure your partner comes first in the lifestyle regardless of how long the two of you have been swinging. From the moment you step foot into a swing club or party, you must remember you are a couple first and foremost. Make sure your partner is happy and comfortable at all times. Your partner must feel that you are there for them no matter what the circumstance. Does your partner need a refill for their drink, would they like to dance, do they like the people you are talking with? Are you paying attention to everyone except them? Is there a person you find attractive and are spending too much time watching them or trying to flirt with them? Although in your mind that is why you are at the club or the party, your partner might not appreciate the way in which you approach swinging.  A simple loving gesture from time to time goes a long way to letting your partner know you are thinking of them.  Hold their hand, a gentle kiss or even touching their hair will let them feel that you are thinking about them.

One of the best ways to ensure your partner will always be happy and comfortable is to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. Always treat your partner as you would like to be treated. Jealousy is always a possibility in the lifestyle. Although couples always say neither of them gets jealous, this is not always the truth. In order to make sure your partner has no reason to feel jealous, let them know by your actions that they always come first. A united couple is a secure couple. Just like it is important for your partner to trust you, it is equally as important for potential swinger couples to trust you. Nobody wants to find themselves in a situation with a couple who is having problems. It can only lead to disaster for everyone involved and seasoned swingers can spot these couples a mile away.

Swinging is wonderful for couples who are honestly able to trust one another. One of the reasons some couples are so successful in the lifestyle is because of their honest communication. The talk about what they both feel comfortable with and what makes them uncomfortable. They speak honestly about what they like and dislike. Successful couples are like football players. They have a game plan and they stick with it. They have rules and boundaries regarding swinging. They talk about things before they arrive at an event and they rehash how things went afterwards. If something did not go as planned, they discuss how they could have done things differently. They operate as a team. They are in this together and it shows. These are the couples who have the best chance of success in the lifestyle.

Trust is something that people earn from others. When we first meet someone, we never know if we can trust them. It is over time, through actions and words that we discover that either this person is honest and we can rely on them, or they are not and we cannot have confidence in them. If trust was an issue prior to entering the lifestyle, swinging can exacerbate this problem tenfold. If this is an issue for your couple, the lifestyle is probably not the place for you.

The Bliss lifestyle cruise is getting ready to set sail. Are you ready?

Woman on a lifestyle cruise wearing Partners ID jewelry
Woman on a lifestyle cruise wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

Bliss Cruise is getting ready to set sail in less than 2 weeks!  Are you ready?!

Many couples have signed up for and have spent months getting ready for what should prove to be a very memorable cruise.  With the number of people reaching over 2,000,  the Celebrity Equinox boasts 1450 cabins, with 1200 of them being balconies! http://www.blisscruise.com/Our_Cruises/Equinox_Nov_2017   What could be more exciting than planning for a fun filled week on a beautiful ship with so many like minded adults?  Thoughts of days spent lounging around a spectacular pool with other sexy couples, delicious food and drinks galore are enough to get anyone in party mode indeed.

Lifestyle cruises have become extremely popular both with swingers and naturists.  The swingers love it because it allows them to be both nude and enjoy swinging with other couples.  The naturists love it because of the clothing free option these ship allow.

What could be missing from this very sexy image?

The ability to know at first glance who the swingers are.  That brings us back to the same old question swingers have been asking for years:  how can we know which people to approach?  As people in the lifestyle know, naturists are not swingers and do not appreciate being hit on.

So how can we distinguish swingers from naturists?

What could be easier than wearing a necklace or bracelet (or even a temporary tattoo) to let others know that you are there to party?  If you already own a piece of Partners ID jewelry, don’t forget to pack it!  If not, you might want to order yours now so you will have it in time for the cruise!

All of our jewelry is high quality and designed with an active lifestyle in mind.  The pedant (and most of the jewelry) is constructed of stainless steel so it is ok to get it wet!  The idea is to have fun and know who else is on the same page without having to ask!

Bon Voyage!

 

Why swing clubs have become so popular over the past 10 years.

Swing clubs are trending
Swing clubs are trending
 This might not be news to many people in the lifestyle but apparently swing clubs have become a hip place to be seen.  This is quite a contrast to the days when people would do anything to keep their visits to swing clubs a secret!  Although every state is different with regard to the legality of swing clubs, for those that have been fortunate enough to have club owners in their home town go to court and battle, the taste of victory is very sweet for them indeed.  The clubs that reside in legal areas have seen tremendous growth in their clientele over the last decade or so.  For most states, each county has its own laws regarding this, which makes it even better for the owners who put their time and money into making this happen.
The change in the atmosphere in clubs that are no longer underground has been dramatic.  Before they were legal it was very risky for couples to venture out to a club for the evening.  Many people tell stories of making sure to have enough cash in their pockets to be able to make bail if they were to get arrested, after all, who could they call?  Some people recall being terrified of having their names in the newspaper should the club get raided.  Police would drive by at opening time and scare clients away or sit in the parking lot making sure clients were too uncomfortable to go inside.  One thing these long time swingers remember the most was the fact that when they were in the club, every single person there, was a swinger who came to play.  Back then, nobody was going to take the risk just to “check it out”.  That is where the clubs have seen a total change.
Back when it was not legal,  swing clubs rarely had big crowds and generally hosted about 20-30 couples on a Saturday night.  They were sparsely decorated and tended to be rather small in size.  Today, some clubs boast more than ten thousand square feet and rival the swank decor of any hot Miami Beach or New York City night club.  It is not uncommon for the more popular swing clubs to host over 200 couples in a night.  The difference is, a much smaller percentage of couples are there to play.  The truth is, where else can you spend an evening that allows you to bring your own bottle, serves dinner and breakfast and has a dj until 3 in the morning?  While it is true that most clubs have a membership fee, the nightly fees are generally less expensive than a moderately priced restaurant would cost to eat dinner for two.  Swing clubs are night clubs where the atmosphere on every Saturday night is like New Year’s Eve.  What other clubs have a regular clientele like this where couples are looking to make friends?  I have never been to a vanilla club where people want to meet you and your husband or boyfriend; couples are either there to have fun alone or they come to the club with a group of friends
There are times when men bring women into a swing club and she does not even know what kind of a club it really is.  When you spend your evening up front, there is no reason to guess what happens behind the closed doors in the back of the club.  The women usually figure it out when they see people getting carried away on the dance floor or around the bar.  Especially when she realizes that nobody else is shocked except for her!  Porn playing on a large screen in the club is also a dead giveaway that something is not quite kosher.
There has been a surge in the number of young couples who visit swing clubs.  In prior years it was uncommon to see people under the age of 40 visting a swing club.  Today, there are groups which cater to the younger crowd and it has become quite common for the younger groups to out number the 40 year old plus crowd.
For newcomers, the atmosphere of a swing club can be intoxicating.  The energy, the friendliness and the fun to be had is like no other type of club environment.  The sexy dresses, the provocative dancing, the nudity and sexual overtures are tintillating to say the least.  The notion that just behind the closed doors in the back of the club is something that you had always considered forbidden and deviant.  Live sex, both for you to watch and participate in, is never far from your thoughts. This new generation of curious guests soon come to find this part of the club’s appeal; it’s risque and they are a part of it!
The lifestyle has been slow to gain any type of acceptance in most communities but with so many people exploring swing clubs and enjoying the atmosphere perhaps we are seeing a change in attitude.  People are able to enter the clubs and have a good time while noticing that the clientele in the clubs are made up of normal people who are not attacking each other or indiscriminately lusting after one another.  The image most people have of what goes on in a swing club is generally drastically different from what they find when they arrive.  The media has not been particularly helpful in portraying swingers over the years and people outside the lifestyle have no other frame of reference with which to base this on.
Swing clubs are not dungeons with leather clad freaks wearing masks and making unwanted sexual advances to anyone and everyone.  Most people are pleasantly surprised to discover that swing clubs are very similar to any other night club.  One of the aspects that sets swing clubs apart is the friendly clientele.  Couples looking to meet other couples and warmly welcoming to newcomers is something you will not see elsewhere.  Most couples are well dressed and extremely respectful of each other.  People don’t judge and this encourages many couples who might not feel as though they fit in at other types of clubs, to turn to swing clubs.
Moving forward, with this refreshing change in attitude toward the lifestyle and how it has become trendy to be a part of it, people should feel more confident that wearing the jewelry only indicates that they are open minded.  The jewelry shall remain only known to people in the lifestyle but remember that being in the lifestyle does not mean you are a swinger.  It simply tells others that you enjoy that atmosphere and are open to conversations regarding such.

A woman discovers her close friends are swingers when she wears our necklace.

3 swingers at the dog park wearing Partners ID jewelry
3 swingers at the dog park wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Partners ID,

My name is Katie and I have a story for those swingers who are not wearing your jewelry.

My husband and I were at a swing club one night and your jewelry was being sold. I looked at it and loved it but my husband didn’t see why we would need it. I let it go but couldn’t stop thinking about it. Many people in the club were wearing it and quite honestly, I couldn’t help but think that it made a lot of sense. It is beautiful and so simple to recognize, why not wear it and see what comes of it?

We flew back the next day but before we left the club the night before, I grabbed one of your cards. When we got home I went onto your website and ordered a necklace. Unfortunately the one I had seen in the club was no longer available.

When it arrived I put it on and pretty much forgot about it. One day I was at the dog park with my dog and I saw a couple that we have been friendly with for a few years. I walked over to talk to them and as I was admiring how incredibly handsome the man his, his wife (my friend) asks me to just kiss him already. I turned to look at her and she has a smile on her face. She nods to me and when I turn to look at him he grabs me and kisses me. I was in total shock and my initial thought was that this must be a dream. As I stood with my mouth open she reached into his t shirt and pulls out his necklace! After all these years! We wasted so many nights with them when we could have been playing!

Needless to say, this was the beginning a very exciting relationship. Our date nights with this couple have changed from small talk over dinner and maybe a movie, to swing clubs and private parties in their home.

Without this necklace, I would never have known that our friends were also swingers! We have since ordered a bracelet for my husband, as he is now a believer!

Thanks for letting me share my story!

Katie

How big is too big? Hey guys, how do you measure up?

Man sleeping with big erection woman staring at him wearing Partners ID bracelet
Man sleeping with big erection woman staring at him wearing Partners ID bracelet
I imagine when men see this title they immediately click on it to see if I think they measure up.   It seems men are always wondering if they are big enough, and for those who think they are big enough, they wonder if they are the best because of this.  The funny thing is, if you ask almost any woman, she will tell you that although size matters to a degree, it really is what you do with it that matters most.
This is not a topic that required much investigating.  If you listen carefully, you will hear women discussing this frequently in the lifestyle.  Although there are some women who will say that they want the biggest one they can find, they seem to be a very small minority.  More often women say, “Too big is too big.”  Let’s face it, there is only so much room in there and when a man is too big, how does that work?  I have read articles that say you can judge who is a good fit for you if you compare hands.  Women with longer fingers tend to have more length inside whereas women with very short fingers do not.  That being said, if you have longer fingers you should be looking for a man who is larger and vice versa.
A good example of a man’s size not making him good in bed is evident in porn.  Almost every porn flick I have ever seen is about the same.  The man has an enormous penis, the woman gives him a blow job and he climbs on top or takes her from behind.  Ok ladies, is this your fantasy guy?  Sure he has a big dick but so what?  It is very rare for the guy to take care of the woman in porn.  She better hope she’s wet because clearly that was not his priority.  Now I personally do like a guy who’s well endowed but if I was not ready for him it would not be fun.  That is the whole point of what makes a man measure up.  When women say it is not the size but what he does with it, this is part of that equation.
Sexy man in his underwear with Parnters ID necklace
Sexy man in his underwear with Parnters ID necklace
Bigger is only better if you are ready for it and you are able to accommodate it.  A few weeks ago we were playing in the back room of a swing club and a couple came over to the spot next to us.  She was on her back and he took his towel off (already in an erection, I’m guessing he had an injection).  He climbs on top of her and she pushed him back and asked him, “Where ya goin’ with that?”  I couldn’t help but laugh because he looked confused.  She informed him that it was going to take more than that to get her ready.
There are men who are not so lucky and are abnormally small.  You would think they would not have much success in the lifestyle but I have discovered that this is not true.  They seem to make up for their short coming by paying extreme attention to their woman’s needs. This  is very appealing to many women.  By the time they are ready for intercourse, the woman they are playing with are usually very turned on and seem not to notice the size; they just want sex!
Something I have always wondered about is when a man is so large, it must be hard for him to enjoy blow jobs.  Women can only take so much in their mouths.  The smaller sized man has the advantage of the woman being able to deep throat him with no problem at all.  I do enjoy the challenge with the large guys but worry that they are not as fulfilled if I am unable to get to the base.
My true heros in the lifestyle are the women who seek out the most well endowed men for double penetration.  It would seem to me that this is where they might favor the smaller dicks!  Big guy up front, little guy in the back.  No?  Apparently not.
Whatever the case, size is relative.  Everyone likes something different and every man should feel confident with what they have.  You can be sure you measure up if you take the time to take care of your woman.  It works both ways; how would you feel if your woman did not take care of you?  You want the experience to be erotic and hot but it takes two to get there!