Clearly nobody told swingers that age 37 is too old to go to a night club!

Couples in night club wearing Partners ID jewelry

Over breakfast this morning, as is my habit, I scanned online articles looking for one of interest.   I came across an article discussing how old the writer believes is too old to go to a nightclub.   Wondering just how shocked I would find the answer, I opened it up and scrolled down to find the magic number.

Ok, play along and think of what age this survey came up with. I will admit, this number came as a bit of shock to me. Ready?  Surprisingly, the age was 37!   The article explains that people over the age of 37 are too old to go to a nightclub.  It goes on to say that the majority of people over the age of 30 would simply prefer to stay home.

Obviously, these people are not in the lifestyle. Not only the ones who are too old at 37 to go clubbing but also the ones over 30 who prefer to stay home. For those of you who are not in the lifestyle, I can assure you that neither of these statistics applies to swing clubs.

In light of these statistics, clearly, swingers did not get this memo.  The majority of people at a swing club are over the age of 40.  Although there are many people under age 40, they do not make up the majority.

Why are swing clubs so appealing to the “older crowd”?  In the past, swing clubs were the playgrounds for older, married couples.  Today, with this group of people who feel too old for night clubs, this has completely changed.

Due to the above finding, perhaps seeking out an age-appropriate alternative is what forces people to look for something different.  This is understandable, but why go to a swing club, especially if you are not a swinger?

For those who have been to a swing club, the difference is clear immediately.  First of all, people in swing clubs are friendly. It is very easy to meet other people. I can’t say the same about a night club. Most night clubs are filled with very young people who prefer to take selfies than to mingle.

Swing clubs are designed to provide maximum comfort for their customers. In a nightclub, it can be very difficult to get a drink. It seems they never have an adequate number of bartenders to serve their customers. Swing clubs often boast more than one bar and generally have attendants serving customers from their seats around the club. No need to fight the crowds to get a drink.
In general, swing clubs offer dinner and some even serve breakfast, which is included in the price of entry. Many swing clubs require you to bring your own bottle. This means your drinks are made exactly how you like them.  Unlike most bars and clubs, no skimping on the liquor as the bottle belongs to you.

Swing clubs are always members-only clubs. This allows them to have every guest register at the front desk with their identification. It’s comforting to know that there are no strangers.

The majority of swing clubs have theme nights and party nights. This creates an atmosphere of cohesion and celebration. There are also contests and often raffles and giveaways. Swing clubs work hard to bring people together and they make it easy each other.

For the most part, swing clubs attract people who are looking to meet others. Most people are friendly and warm. It is not uncommon for people to offer to make room on a couch to allow more people to squeeze in. Night clubs are not known for their warm and fuzzy atmosphere, while swing clubs are.

Obviously, swing clubs are more erotic and sexual than a regular night club. Although you will see some degree of sexy dancing and interacting at a nightclub, you cannot compare that to what you can see in a swing club. The main difference is that the interactions are often between couples.

With this in mind,  if the twenty-something crowd spent a night in a swing club, they would age out sooner. Swing clubs allow people to enjoy themselves without judgment. You can dress as sexy as you like at any age without judgment from others. If you watch the dance floor, you will see couples joining each other mid-dance and couples bringing singles in to join them as well.

Swing clubs boast an atmosphere of inclusion and warmth. It is kind of a hands-on “Cheers” environment. It’s a place where if you are a regular, everybody knows your name. Unlike most clubs, strangers are met with a hug or a kiss.

In view of this,  why would anyone choose a night club? And I only talked about what happens in the front of the club….

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Does one’s alter ego play a role in the lifestyle?

Librarian alter ego sexy woman

 

 

Perhaps swinging allows us to develop an alter ego…

After listening to the ever-entertaining podcast “Our Naughty Escapades” where Bob and Nicky introduce themselves by their real names, it made me think. While I have been listening to “Ben and Jen” for all this time, I wonder if these fake names allowed them to explore a riskier side of themselves.  Often times in swing clubs or lifestyle events people will wear wigs or other disguises hoping to avoid recognition.

So what is an alter ego exactly?  According to Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/alter-ego alter ego is defined like this:

1.  a second self; a perfect substitute or deputy
2.  an inseparable friend.
3.  another aspect of one’s self.

Entering the lifestyle can be daunting for most people.  It is a common fear for newbies that someone will recognize them.   The plan for most couples is the same: we will look around and if we spot people we know, we will leave.

But wait! If they are there too, why would they judge you for being there? They won’t, but that will not always help to ease the nervousness of couples who are coming in for the first time.

For this reason, some people like to try to change something about themselves so that others will not recognize them. Some women wear wigs, some people wear glasses and some simply change their name or profession.

While many people initially do this to avoid detection, they often discover that it is easier to act in a way they would not if they were not in disguise. Simply changing your name (which is so common) seems to allow people to feel free to explore.

Do these small, seemingly insignificant changes allow our alter egos to shine? Like Nicky said after revealing her real name, she misses naughty “Jen.” That’s because as “Jen,” she felt free to behave in a way that she does not yet feel comfortable acting as Nicky.

Alter egos are liberating! If we believe others cannot really see us as we truly are, perhaps we feel more confident.  It allows us to expose parts of ourselves that we might otherwise feel inclined to suppress or hide.

I can remember going out to a swing club for Halloween. We live close to the club, so we spend a fair amount of time there. This Halloween night, when both the girls at the front desk and the bartenders did not recognize me, something inside clicked. I walked around and realized that with a red wig on, I had become totally unrecognizable to people. It was so liberating to be able to act in a way that I otherwise would have felt too shy to do. I felt bolder and more open than I ever had before.

It was apparent that some people who tended to be shy, seemed to have found confidence by wearing a costume. It seemed to summon something inside them that did not usually come out.

The dance floor on Halloween was exceptionally crowded. People who are not usually on the dance floor were suddenly letting loose. The power of their costumes was startling.

For some people, simply entering the lifestyle creates an alter ego. By day, someone might be a teacher, a doctor or an accountant. By night, that same person lets loose and has sex with a group of total strangers. A religious individual who wears modest clothing during the day suddenly reinvents herself at night and wears mini skirts, skimpy tops and thigh high boots.

Alter egos are a healthy way to explore another side of oneself. It allows a person the freedom to behave in a way that would be impossible under normal circumstances. Imagine the slutty religious woman wearing her club clothing in her own community. Would never happen, and if it did, she would surely be shunned.

Do we all have a secret alter ego busting to be let out? A superhero begging to be unleashed? A slut living deep inside ourselves wishing to get out to explore her sexuality?

Whatever the answer is, the lifestyle is a wonderful place to probe this side of oneself. It is almost fantasy like to be able to be free to act in a way that your day to day self does not feel free to do. Try it!

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