Hi Partners ID!
This coronavirus has really made everything lifestyle related very difficult. We were planning to be on a lifestyle cruise in March but that was canceled. April was filled with plans for private hotel parties and get-togethers with friends but obviously these plans were all canceled.
While my boyfriend and I are enjoying the time at home, we do miss our lifestyle friends. We have enjoyed a few zoom parties and virtual sex with friends but let’s face it, it’s not the same. It is impossible to duplicate the feeling of meeting up with our friends, both old and new, for lifestyle-related fun.
Out of boredom the other day, I took a face mask and applied a tattoo that we received as a gift when we purchased jewelry from you. My boyfriend loved it and so I made one for him as well. We took pictures of ourselves and decided we had to wear them when we went out food shopping.
It became obvious at the grocery store that nobody was paying any attention to me. They would not see the symbol on my mask because people were mainly concerned with keeping their distance from each other. We both wore our masks with the symbol each time we went out but it always seemed that people were more interested in avoiding other people than connecting.
Somehow, it always seems when you least expect it, someone seems to notice! My dog wasn’t feeling well so I ran her over to see our vet. Their office is very large so they simply ask the customers to social distance in the waiting room. I was watching tv when a woman sitting across from me waved to get my attention. As I looked up she pointed to my mask and told me she loved it and wanted to buy one. Unsure if she really knew the meaning or liked the decoration I laughed. She told me she was serious that she had a necklace with that pendant and then I knew.
Honestly, I never expected anyone to know what the symbol meant but clearly I was wrong! She gave me her phone number and I promised to make one for her. How fun that we met this other couple from the mask! Maybe you should consider selling masks!
I thought you would enjoy this!
Cathy and Keith
To see our lifestyle jewelry and tattoos, visit us here: www.swingerjewelry.net/shop
How many times have your vanilla friends (for those of you who still have them) wanted to know where you were going and with whom? It seems whenever you tell vanilla friends you have other plans, they become curious. Especially if it happens on a regular basis.
When we first started making excuses for being unavailable to our vanilla friends, my husband and I would joke how ‘mom’ called. It wasn’t either of our moms, it was a nosy vanilla friend. Each conversation with her started with her asking what we did the previous weekend and with whom.
Prior to entering the lifestyle we would make plans with friends on a regular basis, sometimes weeks in advance. Saturday was usually spent at dinner or a movie.
When we discovered strip clubs, we became less available or started ending nights out with friends earlier than in the past. It was easy because strip clubs were better later at night. When we discovered a swing club not far away, we became more and more unavailable over a short period of time.
Our goal each week, was to keep Saturday night free so we could go to the club. We even had a code name for the club so that nobody would know what we were talking about if they overheard our conversations. Were we being paranoid? I don’t think so, people really wanted answers!
Over time, as we tried to force our vanilla friends to see us on Fridays. Not long after, we would only make ourselves available to them during the week. At this point, some of our friends became suspicious. We turned down invitations to just about every vanilla event we were invited to. We had discovered swinging and that was all we wanted to do.
As we made friends in the lifestyle, this group became our social life. Sometimes we would meet at a restaurant before heading to the club. This is when we discovered how difficult it was to have any privacy. That’s right, going out to dinner with lifestyle friends became fodder for anyone who saw us. It seemed not to matter how remote a restaurant we chose. As luck would have it, we always seemed to run into someone we knew.
Soon “mom” was back on the phone wanting to know who our new friends were. The first time I got the call I was taken aback. I tried to imagine how this was any of her business. Since she had not actually seen us, I knew someone had told her. Then I tried to imagine why people were talking about us. We do not live in a small town per se, but many people know each other. Same schools, same churches, temples, same after school activities, etc.
So what made our lives suddenly so interesting that people were talking about us? “Mom” casually mentioned that we seemed to be avoiding our old group of friends. I pointed out that the previous week we had met them for dinner. How could we be avoiding them if we saw them a few days ago?
It seems that making new friends, especially people that are from another town or city, raises eyebrows. Suddenly “mom” was asking how we met them. Don’t think “mom” was the only person asking, she was simply the only one brave or nosy enough to confront me.
It made us wonder how much people really deserved to know. Do we actually owe it to others to explain our whereabouts or our new friends? Is it normal for “friends” to demand to know why you are not free to spend more time with them?
My husband and I had even considered telling one couple that was part of that group of friends about the lifestyle. We thought they might be open to the whole idea of swinging. After much thought, we decided against it. If they were not open to it, we would be exposing ourselves and did not want to risk that.
The lifestyle resulted in our decision to completely remove ourselves from this former group of friends. We soon realized that these people are very judgmental and if they were to discover the truth, we would no longer be friends. Knowing this, we chose to drift away.
The question remained for us: Why is it anyone’s business how we spend our free time? Why must swingers always make up excuses so that they can do what they want? Lying and making up stories and excuses is exhausting. We are adults and should be free to live our lives without judgment.
For all of the nosy people out there: stop worrying about what others are doing and with whom they are doing it. We are forced to lie and sneak around to avoid judgment from people like you. Don’t you have anything better to do?
The sad part is, many people in the lifestyle end up having to choose between the lifestyle and maintaining vanilla friendships. Perhaps most people choose lifestyle friends simply because we have more in common with each other. They also don’t judge or wonder what we are doing when we are busy with something else.
Bottom line, swingers do not owe anyone an explanation about how they spend their free time. Where we go nights, weekends and on vacation is nobody’s business. We have discovered a wonderful, carefree life in the lifestyle and have no plans to change this any time soon. So butt out…
If you are looking for lifestyle jewelry you have come to the right place! Check out our jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
My wife’s favorite night of the year happens to be New Year’s Eve. She loves shopping for a special dress, getting her hair done and spending the night at her favorite swing club.
My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for a long time (almost 20 years). Our social life is limited to swing clubs and private parties, meet and greets and Sunday fundays. We vacation at Desire and try to catch at least one lifestyle cruise every year. Yes, we are hard core but this is our life and we love it.
We spend every Christmas in South Florida visiting my parents. We discovered Trapeze about 10 years ago and have been going there every New Year’s Eve since discovering this club. This year was to be no exception.
We arrived in Florida for Christmas Eve and settled in for our 2 week stay. Everything was great until we got a phone call early December 31 from her mother. Her dad was admitted to the hospital with chest pains and they believed he had suffered a heart attack.
We soon boarded a plane and headed to Connecticut to see her dad. Our only thought at this point was her dad and his health.
Long story short, we arrived at the hospital and her dad was resting comfortably. He had not had a heart attack but did require a stent to prevent one. He was fine and would be released the next morning. We drove her mom home and she wanted nothing more than to sleep.
So here it is New Year’s Eve, in Connecticut, and we have no place to go. Since my wife did not actually grow up in Connecticut, she is not familiar with the night life. It was getting late so we decided to at least try to find a restaurant where we could enjoy a nice dinner.
Not far from where her parents live is a tavern that advertised live music and dancing. At least it was something! The bar was lively with groups of people out to celebrate New Years Eve. They had a large screen tv set up to watch the ball drop in Times Square. My wife and I were anxious to relax and enjoy the evening and ordered some drinks. Luckily we were seated at a table quickly and were able to get some food.
After we finished eating we were happy to join the party goers out on the dance floor. We had about 30 minutes before midnight and spent the entire time dancing.
Our attention turned to the dj as he counted down the remaining 10 seconds of 2018. As he screamed happy new year at exactly midnight, I turned to kiss my wife. Just as we kissed, a couple appeared next to us, telling us they were next. I was totally caught off guard when this attractive woman started kissing me right on the mouth. As I turned to look at my wife, she and the man were deep into a french kiss of their own.
I took a step backward to try to see if we knew this couple. The woman reached over and tugged at my necklace. “We have these too,” she said, which made me smile right away. We spent the rest of the night with this couple and that is how new years was saved! Obviously we are so grateful that we wear this lifestyle jewelry because without it, we would have not have met them. It was a wonderful and memorable evening!
Happy New Year to everyone!
Alex and Anna
Remember to check out our lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. When it comes to swinging, it is no different.
Swinging is something people do for enjoyment. Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun. If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenaged children.
The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night. You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time. Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.
A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks, and heading into a play area. You find another couple (or single), everybody plays, everybody is happy, you leave. That’s not so hard, right?
For many couples it is simple. They have conversations about what works for the both of them. The problem usually begins when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.
So what is drama in the lifestyle? Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong? Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:
1. Someone is too drunk to play.
2. One of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3. The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4. One of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5. The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6. One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7. They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8. One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9. One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10. One gets upset and leaves during play.
When couples find themselves in situations such as these it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.
How can you avoid ending up with couples who are like this? Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance. Sometimes even when a couple says they are full swap or ready to play, they are not.
Couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with. If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront. Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well.
Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun. Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment. If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.
Bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…
If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
Sex is not simply something that only men enjoy. Women get a tremendous amount of pleasure from it as well. Why do women have such a hard time admitting this?
Why is a woman’s sexuality still such a confusing topic? Why do so many people still believe that women are sexual simply to please men? This stereotype still exists and casts a shadow over women who readily admit that they enjoy sex.
Still, to this day, if a woman says she loves sex, this causes people to make assumptions about her: She’s wild, she’s a whore, she will sleep with anyone, etc. Where does this come from? Why is it when men say they love sex (which they never have to say, it is always assumed) it is taken in stride? It is normal for men to love sex but something is very wrong when a woman does.
I can remember a conversation I had with some friends many years ago. One woman mentioned that it was her husband’s birthday and so she gave him the obligatory blow job that morning. It was something she was only willing to do once a year. I was honestly in shock and blurted out, “Once a year?! I give my husband a blow job every day!” With that comment, all heads turned in unison to stare at me with mouthes wide open. They all thought my husband must be some type of a monster to force me to do this. Force me? I explained that I loved pleasuring him and it turned me on to see him so excited. All four women shook their heads in disbelief and the topic was dropped.
I remember thinking that not one of them believed me when I said I enjoyed it. Thankfully I didn’t tell them we had sex twice a day every day because I love sex. I did wonder, after this conversation, why women had such a hard time believing that another woman could find pleasure in giving her man head. Was I different?
The answer is, yes, I think I am different. Different from many women simply because I am willing to admit that I love sex. While it is certainly possible that not every woman does love it, I do believe that many more women love it than are willing to admit to it. Why do women pretend not to love sex? Certainly it is not always pleasurable if the person you are with is not very good at it. There are however, toys and aids to help. It is also a good idea to guide your partner if they are not good at understanding what you need or what feels good to you. Most men truly want to please their partner and prefer she tell him then leave him guessing. Men also get pleasure from seeing their partner enjoying themselves and getting turned on. If a man feels that a woman is having sex with him out of obligation, he will not enjoy it in the same way.
Many women seem a bit shy to express their desire for sex. Let’s face it, we grew up learning that girls who love sex were dirty and easy. They were thought to be indiscriminate in who they slept with and were willing to do anything to please a guy. It seems nobody ever thought to ask a girl if perhaps she wanted to have sex with guys purely because she enjoyed it.
I love sex but that does not mean that I am not particular about who I will play with. I do not cruise around by day looking to pick up men for a quickie. I am also not a nymphomaniac. There is nothing extraordinary about me. I am a mother, a daughter, sister, employee, and wife who just happens to enjoy sex. You wouldn’t be able to spot me on the street and think: now there’s a woman who loves sex!
The lifestyle seems to be the perfect fit for sexual women. Swinging attracts women with all different types of sexual appetites. It is a safe and comfortable environment for women who love to simply watch others have sex, to the opposite extreme of women who like gang bangs, and everything in between. Nobody is there to judge, and this type of environment allows women to speak and act freely regarding their sexual desires. It can be very liberating for women who always thought they were not normal simply because they love sex.
Halloween will be here before you know it! What are you planning to dress up as this year? A policeman, Little Red Ridinghood maybe a schoolgirl?
Whatever the case, if you are one of those “shy” people, perhaps this is the perfect time for you to take advantage and go after what you want! There are women in the lifestyle who always wear a wig when they are at a lifestyle event. They claim they have more confidence because people do not recognize them and they like it that way. Costumes are also a good conversation starter. Complimenting others on how clever they are or how perfect their costume, makes it easy to open the dialogue. Once you have begun a conversation it is easy to introduce yourselves and ask the other couple questions about themselves.
We read all of your stories about how people have met other swingers by wearing your jewelry and I want to share what happened to me.
I purchased a bracelet from you a few months ago but don’t wear it all of the time. I usually wear it when we go out at night to pubs and such but never thought to wear it during the day.
Last weekend we went out with some swinger friends and had a bit too much to drink. We were in no condition to drive home so we all piled into a cab and went to our friend’s house for the night. The next morning, my hubby and his buddy were busy doing some work around his buddy’s house so I asked his wife to please drive me back to the pub to pick up our car.
Before heading back to get my hubby, I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some aspirin as my head was pounding from all of the alcohol. I was driving back toward my friend’s house when all of the sudden I see the flashing blue lights behind me. I pulled over and waited for the cop to tell me what the hell I did wrong. He walks over and tells me I was doing 72 mph in a 40 mph zone. Oops! My bad! I hadn’t even realized I was driving that fast. He asks me for my license and registration and when I reach out of the window to hand it to him he starts to smile. I have no idea what his problem is but I’m happy to see him smiling! He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a set of keys and there was the key ring with the pendant on it! How lucky am I???
Needless to say, he did not give me a ticket but did tell me about a swing club about 40 miles away that he goes to with his girlfriend. He gave me his card and said if my hubby and I would like to meet them at this club one night to text him and let him know.
I am going to text him soon and set up a date to meet him (he was very cute), but more importantly, I didn’t get a ticket!
I now consider this my lucky bracelet! Had I not stayed over at a friend’s house the night before, I would not have been wearing it! I now wear the bracelet all the time because you really never know!
Hope it brings everyone else as much luck as it has brought me!
Social media has become a way of life for most people. We have email, instant messaging, apps, and text messaging at our fingertips. When we wanted to communicate in the past, we picked up a phone and called someone. Now it has become much easier and more popular to just shoot a message to someone.
With this surge in the use of nonverbal communication, has come some problems. When we speak in person, others can hear our intonations as we speak. They can hear our excitement, our anger, and if we pause, they can rethink what they said and try to explain on the spot. When we read a message, at times, we misinterpret what the writer is trying to convey to us.
How does this affect swingers looking for other swingers?
Simply put, when a couple is attempting to communicate with another couple and they rely on a messaging platform, things they write can be misconstrued. It becomes especially touchy when these couples have never met. Sometimes a person has a sense of humor that they try to convey in their messages. If you don’t know that this person is sarcastic, for example, you might misinterpret them as being arrogant. A person who is shy might come across as being disinterested. Perhaps one couple is very busy and so there can be a long delay between messages. If English is the person’s second language, their writing might be seen as a lack of intelligence or education. In any case, the couples might decide against meeting each other for reasons that are not valid.
The other problem that is rampant, is many couple’s disregard for the truth. The number one complaint seems to be the outdated photos that many couples choose to post. Regardless of how attractive and fit you were ten years ago, that no longer represents what you look like today.
If you are afraid that people will not be attracted by your current photos, this is not a reason to post old ones. After all, you will eventually meet in person and the first thing they will notice is that you do not look like your pictures. Many people say that they do this because although they might not like their pictures, they are sure they can win over another couple if they meet in person. The truth is, it does not work like this. We have heard many couples talk about how when they spotted the couple they had arranged to meet and realized they did not look like their photos, they turned around and left.
Some other problems with swinger profiles are lying about age and not being truthful about what you are looking for. If you do not have experience or are not totally comfortable with swapping, be honest. At some point, all of your lies will become apparent to the couples that you meet. This makes it awkward for everyone. Don’t shave 10 years off of your age and then be surprised when the couple who agrees to meet you is not interested. Don’t expect another couple to “take it slow” if you have written that you are full swap and have tons of experience. Honesty goes a long way in making encounters successful and enjoyable. You will find couples to match with if you let them know who you really are.
Face-time and Skype have given us the ability to chat live. Perhaps this is the best way to be sure that the couple in the pictures look the same in person. This also allows you to speak in “real-time” and avoid the problems that messaging can cause. Let’s not forget that in some areas, people have to travel quite a distance to meet each other. Remote areas that do not have a swing club or any other lifestyle events tend to be more reliant on technology. This causes them to be dependent upon messaging.
When messaging with other couples just remember how many times your chats with family and friends have been misunderstood. Not because of what you wrote necessarily, but rather the way the reader interpreted what you meant to say or how you meant to say it. Give people the benefit of the doubt and always try to connect either by video chat or on the phone. This allows you the comfort of hearing what someone is saying and how they are saying it.
One of the other problems facing those who are dependent upon technology is having to a total stranger. As many swingers will attest, they often “meet” people online who either drag out the process of an in-person meet or don’t show up to arranged meetings. That leaves the couple wondering what went wrong. There are many people who seem to get off solely from the correspondence of another couple. They pretend to be interested strictly for the thrill. There was never any intent to meet.
One of the best pieces of advice for couples who find themselves struggling with flakes and no shows is to insist on meeting early on. Don’t prolong the process of getting to know someone over texts or emails. After one or two emails or phone calls, set up a day and a time to meet. This will prevent you from wasting time with people who have no real interest in actually meeting in person.
When a person or couple finally agrees to meet, the smartest place to meet is a coffee shop. There is no time or money commitment here and most people agree that within the first five minutes they know if they have any interest. Wasting an entire evening meeting someone for dinner can be a disaster if you don’t like them.
Don’t forget to use common sense. If something feels wrong or you get a bad feeling, back up. Not everyone is honest or has good intentions. Just like in regular dating, pay attention to what your gut tells you.
Most importantly, have fun. Swinging is supposed to be fun. This is not a job, but a lifestyle! For most people, the time and energy put into finding other couples eventually pays off.
Have you tried wearing our lifestyle jewelry? Many swingers have found each other simply by spotting others with our jewelry. Check it out here: www.swingerjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
Hi Partners ID. I love reading your blog but I especially like to read the emails you receive from folks who have had success with the jewelry. Just like most things in life, I never thought it would happen to me but it did! Magical!
We have been swingers for about 5 years and mostly seek out parties at hotels near where we live. It can be a bit frustrating because we would like to have more of a swinger social life but we really don’t have a club close enough to drive just for an evening.
To try to satisfy our desire to immerse ourselves in swinging, we took a vacation in August to Hedonism. That’s where we discovered your jewelry. It worked like a charm in Jamaica because people could identify that we were swingers and so they approached us. To be honest, we weren’t really sure if we would have any success with the jewelry back at home.
I wear my necklace every day for two reasons: first, because I love the design and second, obviously, because I would like to meet other swingers.
We live in a wonderful community and have met many of our neighbors since moving in last year. We got a note in our mailbox a few weeks ago inviting us to their annual block party. We are a very social couple and looked forward to spending the afternoon with everyone while hoping to meet some new people.
We offered to help with the setup and spent the evening before the party baking goodies to share with our neighbors. We arrived early and were greeted by a couple we had not yet met. They were quite a bit older than we are but were so warm and welcoming. They mentioned that their son and his wife would be attending the party and hoped we would get a chance to meet them.
We were impressed with the turnout for the party! There were well over 100 people out on the street enjoying the food, music, games and socializing. At one point my husband left me talking with another couple to run back and get us some drinks. He ran into the older couple that we had helped with the setup. They were with their son and his wife and were thrilled to be able to introduce them to my husband.
A short time later my husband returned and he was with another couple who seemed anxious to meet me. I politely excused myself and went over to meet them. With a big smile on his face, my husband introduced me to this couple, who are about the same age we are. I went to shake the man’s hand and he pulled me in for a kiss. I was a little stunned until he whispered in my ear to look at his bracelet. Sure enough, there it was! He, too, was wearing your jewelry! OMG, I was so excited to meet them! We spent the entire rest of the day with them and the next night as well! The best part is, since his parents are our neighbors, they come to town quite often.
Such a great concept! Thank you again for what you are doing for the lifestyle! Like I said, it’s magical!
~Lisa and Doug
Colorado (too small a town to name!)