Important qualities to look for, and what to avoid, when choosing a couple with whom to swing.

Swinger couple smiling wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

Why is swinging sometimes more enjoyable than others?

Swingers are always looking to meet the right couple (In this blog we are talking about couples) with whom to play. While we cannot predict which time it will work perfectly, there must be reasons why sometimes swinging is so much better than others.

What makes some experiences so much more positive than others?

You invite another couple to your home for an evening with the hopes of swinging. First, you have drinks, then a nice dinner, conversation, and then you settle in for some fun.

Take your time and make sure everyone seems to be on the same page.

Everything up to this point has been fun and easy. The hot tub looks inviting and so you all decide to climb in. It doesn’t take long for you and your partner to switch with the other couple and start fooling around.

One couple moves inside to the bedroom while the other couple remains outside. You play for a brief time and soon your partner arrives at the bed with the other person. Everyone kisses each other and lightly touches as they move next to you on the bed. The next few hours are fun and everyone is happy.

You see, swinging is so easy, right?

The answer is, when the situation works, yes. When everyone is on the same page and nobody feels slighted or left out, this is the result. Easy, fun, and you and your partner are happy.

Why then is it so often more complicated than this? What happens to contribute to a negative experience?

In my opinion, there are many variables when playing with other couples. One important factor is that both members of the couple are interested in playing with the couple you choose. If one is doing it to please the other, it will not work. We speak often about taking one for the team. While it is unavoidable at times, when planning an evening with specific people, there is no excuse for this.

What are some of the characteristics that make couples a bad choice when trying to decide?

(We are not talking about strangers here, we are strictly speaking about couples you have met before.) Some couples cannot seem to avoid drama. Either there are jealousy issues, one person is more eager to play and the other seems to simply go along, they bad mouth other swingers, some have insecurity issues, etc. Any of these issues will undoubtedly cause trouble when you try to swing with them. Besides, who wants to play with a couple who is going to talk about them after the fact?

What are some qualities you should look for in other swingers?

Good choices are couples who are connected to each other. It is clear that they love and support one another. They do not speak negatively about their partner or claim to be a better catch than their significant other.

Connected couples speak highly of one another and interact in a positive way. They are thoughtful of each other’s feelings and always look to make sure their partner is happy and comfortable. Playing with another couple is clearly something they enjoy for the moment and then they reconnect.

Happy couples make swinging fun. They seem happy when they arrive and they look happy when they leave. On the other hand, couples with issues create an unpleasant atmosphere and are often seen arguing or fighting during or after lifestyle events. These are couples to avoid, after all, who wants to host a couple who will leave your home in a fight?

Swinging is wonderful when it is fun.

When swinging becomes work, most people would agree, they would prefer not to bother. Making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is the most important thing to remember. What is good for you, is good for them. Don’t do to your partner what you would not want to be done to you. If swinging can be done in a positive way, it will enrich your relationship. If you are swinging to make your partner happy, it will never work. Other couples will become the victims of your concession, and that benefits no one.

The next time you are looking for that perfect evening at home with that perfect swinging couple, think about them. Are they happy and drama-free? Do they frequently leave lifestyle events hand in hand or are they arguing as they leave? Is one of them enjoying the sex while the other is laying there staring at the ceiling?  These are things to consider if you want to have fun!

Good luck!

Looking for lifestyle jewelry so other swingers can find you?  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Dick vs. Brain; Which organ rules when swinging?

                             brain vs. dick

(We should warn you that this article is tongue in cheek.  This blog is written with a sarcastic overtone and should not be taken seriously!)

It makes me laugh when I hear women discuss how their husbands behave in a playroom at a swing club or any other swinging environment. Anything they discuss with their significant other prior to swinging, goes right out the window. No matter how hard they try to drop subtle hints to their significant other , the man seems oblivious. The problem is most notable in the play area of swing clubs or private parties.  It seems men are in total control until they get an erection Why is this?

Quite possibly, this problem can be explained like this:  As a man gets an erection, there is an increase in blood flow to the penis.  This blood must come from somewhere, right?  Perhaps the brain is depraved of the blood due to the redirecting of this needed blood to the penis.  As his respiration rate increases due to heavy bleeding, the brain is now also incurring a lack of sufficient oxygen.  This clouds his ability to think clearly.  How can we hold men accountable when their bodies are under such duress?  Their now throbbing dick has caused their brain to slow down.

Sounds like I have a problem with men, right? Actually, I don’t. I was reading a long forum thread on a website discussing this. Believe it or not, this was a man’s analysis of what occurs. He was begging forgiveness for all men, for the way they sometimes behave when they are excited. He asked his playmates and significant other to forgive:

His lack of overt interest in her because his erection required more attention than she.

He asked forgiveness for spending way more time using his mouth on her (rarely have I heard a woman complaining about this) but he was trying to become erect

Paying too much attention to his wife or girlfriend; it helps him to be more excited.

For never noticing that his wife was not interested in playing with his beautiful playmate’s husband.

For not noticing that the other man could not get an erection. He was too busy with the beautiful playmate he was with.

For allowing his dick to be in charge of both his mind and his body.

He went on to explain that he really cares about both the woman he arrives at the club and the woman he plays with.  His dick, from what he says, is the one in charge. Once they enter the back room, his brain has stopped trying to be in control because he learned early on that it was a useless battle.

I replied to his response and asked him if this only applies to the playroom or does this have something to do with his behavior in the bar area of a club. His honesty is refreshing and quite funny. The man wrote that his brain is in complete control before his clothing is removed. The problem seems to begin when he sees a woman that he is attracted toAt this point, control between his brain and dick .   it can become a tug of war.  He has discovered his dick is usually victorious over his brain.

He told me that when he and his wife started swinging, it was a huge issue. More often than not, they left the club or party in a fight. He felt bad about it but did not think he was the one to blame. It seemed to him that his wife was the one with the problem and he was a victim.

He took to the forum on a swinging site and started asking others for their opinion. After a while he realized that most people were giving him the same advice: communicate with your wife and find out what’s really bothering her. Start the conversation immediately after you leave the party (or club).

After their next evening out swinging, as soon as they got into the car, he turned to his wife.  He asked her if he had done something wrong. The first thing she brought up was their secret code. It is a word that they use to indicate whether or not the person has interest in a potential playmate.  Apparently my wife used the word 3 times that evening to indicate that she was not interested in playing with this particular man. OOPS! Guess who we played with that evening….

Second, we had a no kissing rule which I was very good about when we were having drinks prior to play time. Although she understands that sometimes the other person makes it hard not to kiss them back, he was the one who was initiating the kissing. My wife mentioned that she was tapping my arm to remind me but I did not seem to feel it.

Every conversation or rule that my wife and I had discussed, seemed to evaporate as soon as my clothing came off.   My brain no longer reminded me that we had certain expectations of each other when we swing.

That was when I had a revelation about playing with other women. All of this time I had been blaming my wife for being jealous and picking nonsense fights when she was strictly asking me to be accountable for my behavior. The truth is, she was right! My dick was calling all the shots and I allowed him to be in control!  I could not hear her trying to speak to me or feel her touching me while I was playing with someone else! The attention I had to give to keep my erection was dulling all of my other senses!

His wife, at other times, is the object of his attention. If he cannot get an erection, he often turns to watch his wife hoping that this will excite him. He will, at times, try to involve himself in her play with another man hoping she can help him. Other times, he interrupts his wife’s play to ask for her assistance. The wife is aware of why he does this and is happy to oblige. What bothers her is that if she tries to get his attention while he is busy playing, he is unaware of her.

What is the take away from this? This man said that he felt compelled to make a blanket apology for his dick’s actions. Working on this problem is a bit more difficult than he had anticipated. It seems his dick insists on his full attention but he is making a conscious effort to be more aware of his wife during playtime.

So there you have it, an explanation as to why men behave the way they do when swinging. Their dick is to blame for their erratic behavior. Do I think women are going to buy this? I will let you know what they say…

If you are looking for lifestyle jewelry that is recognized around the world, check our website. When you see our pendant, you have found another swinger!
Check out all of our jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/