Maybe your neighbors are swingers and you just don’t know!

This is an email we received from one of our customers, which was printed with permission.

My wife and I bought your jewelry while visiting a club in Canada about a year ago.  We wear it mostly when we go out nights when we are hoping to meet other swingers.  Although people have complimented us on the jewelry, no one has ever asked what it means.

We went to a friend’s birthday party at a big club recently and thinking ‘you never know,’ we both wore our jewelry.  We partied late into the night and with the long drive, arrived home much later than usual. 

As soon as we walked into the house, my wife put the dog on a leash and went outside to walk her.   She was surprised to see our neighbor’s from down the street just arriving home.  It was almost 4 o’clock in the morning!

She walked toward their house. There is an empty lot next door and that is where everyone walks their dogs.  A few minutes later, the male neighbor came walking toward her with his little dog in tow.  As it was just the two of them, they said hello and made small talk about the dogs.  

The neighbor mentioned that he often walked his dog late at night but had never bumped into anyone.  My wife told him we had just returned home from a party that was a good distance away.  The neighbor was acting a little strange and she could not figure out why.  

He told her that they often stay out this late because they spend their weekends at a club that is open until 4 am.  Then he smiled at her and said, “You and her husband would like this club.  If you decide to check it out, wear your necklace.”

At this point, I was concerned that she was still outside and went to check on her.  As I walked up the street I was surprised to see her talking to one of our neighbors.  We do not know most of our neighbors and although I know where this man lives, we have never spoken with him or his wife.

As I got closer to them, I was relieved to hear her laughing.   I was about to turn and walk back home when she called me over.  

My wife introduced me to our neighbor and told me that they were discussing her necklace.  I was afraid to say anything as I didn’t know what she had told him.  He immediately relayed the information about the swing club he and his wife visit every weekend.  The neighbor said his wife has a pair of earrings with the pendant and he knows what it means.

We have been living on the same street for 5 years and had never spoken with them before.  Next weekend they are picking us up at 8:30 and we are going to a swing club with them.  Does it get any better than this?

I have to be honest, that after wearing the jewelry for almost a year, we weren’t sure that we would ever meet people.  Now we have not only made contact because of the jewelry, but discovered our neighbors are swingers too!   This has become such an incredibly fun situation for us all!  

I did meet his wife that night and we had a drink at 4 in the morning with them.  We left it at that for now, with the hope of this becoming more in the future.  

This has added so much excitement to our lives!  I look forward to this weekend and many more!

I just wanted to tell you our story and thank you!

R & M

Spring Hill, TN

When our children left for college, we discovered swinging!

Swinging couples taking shots wearing Partners ID jewelry

When our children left for college, we discovered we were bored. After venturing out to a strip club and meeting a bunch of swingers our lives have changed!

Hi Partners ID!

My name is Marie and my husband’s name is Larry. We love reading all the stories from your ( swinger) customers  so we thought we would chime in. Ours is different from any other story we have read so far.

Larry and I met in high school and got married when we graduated from college. We had three children and lived a pretty atypical suburban life. Over the past 20 years or so, we basically devoted our time and energy to raising our children and building a business.

Our youngest child left for college a few years ago. Like many other empty nesters, we looked at each other and wondered “now what”?

We traveled, took up golf and tried to find ways to keep the marriage happy. Our sex life was nothing to speak of but we were still very much in love.

One evening when we were trying to pick a movie to go and see my husband told me he was honestly tired of our routine. When I asked him if he had something in mind, he said he did. He announced that he wanted us to go to a strip club. I am willing to try just about anything once, so I said it was worth a try.

He told me he had done some research (not surprising) and had one picked out. I was a little nervous as this was my first time, but at the same time I was excited to go. We stopped to grab a quick bite to eat and a drink before heading over.

I was surprised at how nice the place was and never expected to see so many couples. I had imagined it would be mostly single men but I was wrong. We sat at a table and watched the girls parade around the place. A few came over and wanted to dance for us. At first I said no but after a few more drinks I was open to the idea.

We spent a few hours there and as it got later in the night we noticed a group sitting at a table near ours. There were about 8 couples all around a large table drinking and laughing and having a good time. The couples looked to be about our age and the women were dressed very sexy. After a while I noticed that some of the women were kissing more than one man and even kissing each other! My husband and I spent more time watching this group than the naked girls parading in front of us.

I had to use the restroom and when I returned, two women from that group were talking to my husband. I walked over and they quickly turned to me and introduced themselves. They were extremely friendly but it was odd to me that these women would approach my husband like this. They asked if we came to this place often and we explained it was our first time. They told us they frequently stopped here after a night at a swing club not far away.  A swing club?!  Really!

They invited us to come and sit with them. I was totally taken off guard. When do people ever try to pick up a couple? Weird!!! We agreed but my husband said we’d sit for a few minutes and leave. They offered us drinks and everyone was so friendly. I can honestly say I had never seen a group of people this friendly in my life. We had a few drinks and laughed and then I got up the nerve to ask about the swing club. They were all swingers and they pointed to their necklaces. I had never seen one before and had no idea what it meant. They explained that they wear the jewelry to meet other swingers. One of them slipped it off her neck and put it on my neck. She made me promise that I would wear it next weekend and we would try the swing club they had come from.

Believe it or not, we did indeed go and it was amazing! We had such a blast dancing and drinking with our new found friends. There was nothing awkward or uncomfortable about the entire first night.  Before this whole adventure, if you told us we would go out with a bunch of swingers we would have laughed.  If you told us we would become swingers, we would have told you you were crazy!  We did not go into the room in the back right away. It wasn’t until our 5th visit that we ventured back there.

This happened a year ago and we are not only regulars at the swing club, but we both own a piece of the jewelry and wear it all the time. My husband met a man when he was playing golf who approached him. We have been out with that couple several times as well.

We love the lifestyle, we love swingers and we love your jewelry!

Thanks!

Marie and Larry

Atlanta, GA

Drama in the lifestyle, why it is sure to ruin everyone’s night.

Drama free group of swingers wearing  Partners ID swinger symbol jewelry 

Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. As a rule, when it comes to swinging, it is no different.

Swinging is something people do for enjoyment.  Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun.  If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenage children.

The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night.  You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time.  Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.

A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks,  and heading into a play area.  Next, you try to find another couple (or single).  Ideally,  everybody plays, everybody is happy, and you leave.  That’s not so hard, right?

For many couples it is simple.  They have conversations about what works for the both of them.  Usually, the problems begin when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.

So what causes drama in the lifestyle?  Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong?  Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:

1.  Someone is too drunk to play.
2.  One member of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3.  The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4.  One member of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5.  The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6.  One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7.  They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8.  One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9.  One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10.  One gets upset and leaves during play.

Not surprisingly, when couples find themselves in situations such as these, it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.

With this in mind,  how can you avoid ending up with couples who create drama?  Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance.  Couples are not always upfront and honest regarding what they will and will not participate in. Not to mention the couples who say they are full swap and ready to play, and they are not.

To begin with, couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with.  If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront.  Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well.  Besides, couples who cause drama eventually develop a reputation as such.

Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun.  Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment.  If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.

The bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…

If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Important qualities to look for, and what to avoid, when choosing a couple with whom to swing.

Swinger couple smiling wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

Why is swinging sometimes more enjoyable than others?

Swingers are always looking to meet the right couple (In this blog we are talking about couples) with whom to play. While we cannot predict which time it will work perfectly, there must be reasons why sometimes swinging is so much better than others.

What makes some experiences so much more positive than others?

You invite another couple to your home for an evening with the hopes of swinging. First, you have drinks, then a nice dinner, conversation, and then you settle in for some fun.

Take your time and make sure everyone seems to be on the same page.

Everything up to this point has been fun and easy. The hot tub looks inviting and so you all decide to climb in. It doesn’t take long for you and your partner to switch with the other couple and start fooling around.

One couple moves inside to the bedroom while the other couple remains outside. You play for a brief time and soon your partner arrives at the bed with the other person. Everyone kisses each other and lightly touches as they move next to you on the bed. The next few hours are fun and everyone is happy.

You see, swinging is so easy, right?

The answer is, when the situation works, yes. When everyone is on the same page and nobody feels slighted or left out, this is the result. Easy, fun, and you and your partner are happy.

Why then is it so often more complicated than this? What happens to contribute to a negative experience?

In my opinion, there are many variables when playing with other couples. One important factor is that both members of the couple are interested in playing with the couple you choose. If one is doing it to please the other, it will not work. We speak often about taking one for the team. While it is unavoidable at times, when planning an evening with specific people, there is no excuse for this.

What are some of the characteristics that make couples a bad choice when trying to decide?

(We are not talking about strangers here, we are strictly speaking about couples you have met before.) Some couples cannot seem to avoid drama. Either there are jealousy issues, one person is more eager to play and the other seems to simply go along, they bad mouth other swingers, some have insecurity issues, etc. Any of these issues will undoubtedly cause trouble when you try to swing with them. Besides, who wants to play with a couple who is going to talk about you after the fact?

What are some qualities you should look for in other swingers?

Good choices are couples who are connected to each other. It is clear that they love and support one another. They do not speak negatively about their partner or claim to be a better catch than their significant other.

Connected couples speak highly of one another and interact in a positive way. They are thoughtful of each other’s feelings and always look to make sure their partner is happy and comfortable. Playing with another couple is clearly something they enjoy for the moment and then they reconnect.

Happy couples make swinging fun. They seem happy when they arrive and they look happy when they leave. On the other hand, couples with issues create an unpleasant atmosphere and are often seen arguing or fighting during or after lifestyle events. These are couples to avoid, after all, who wants to host a couple who will leave your home in a fight?

Swinging is wonderful when it is fun.

When swinging becomes work, most people would agree, they would prefer not to bother. Making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is the most important thing to remember. What is good for you, is good for them. Don’t do to your partner what you would not want to be done to you. If swinging can be done in a positive way, it will enrich your relationship. If you are swinging to make your partner happy, it will never work. Other couples will become the victims of your concession, and that benefits no one.

The next time you are looking for that perfect evening at home with that perfect swinging couple, think about them. Are they happy and drama-free? Do they frequently leave lifestyle events hand in hand or are they arguing as they leave? Is one of them enjoying the sex while the other is laying there staring at the ceiling?  These are things to consider if you want to have fun!

Good luck!

Looking for lifestyle jewelry so other swingers can find you?  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

The journey from unicorn to prostitute; something she never imagined would happen.

Unicorn turned prostitute wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry black ring

A few years ago, you urged me to write about why I had chosen to become a unicorn. It seemed to help people to understand that not every unicorn is in the lifestyle because they want to steal other women’s husbands.  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/unicorn/

My story today is how I took the leap from reliable second female in the FMF, into paid call girl.

Not long into the COVID crisis, I lost my job.  Having little savings and a steady stream of bills to pay, I began to feel desperate.

I had never thought of charging people money for sex, it actually happened rather organically.  

Swing clubs closed down in March and at first, my lifestyle friends resorted to throwing private parties.  They said they would keep everyone safe by only inviting “close” friends.  For me, this made no sense, and the last thing I needed, was to get sick.  I declined every invitation and was clear in explaining that it felt too risky.  

Those parties came to a screeching halt when sadly, several of the party-goers ended up in the hospital with COVID.  Those who did not feel sick quickly got tested to calm their fears.

Soon after, I began to get calls from couples I knew from the lifestyle.  Each asked casually if I would like to join them one evening for drinks at their home.  I might be single, but I’m not stupid.  When a  swinger couple invites me to their home, I know what they are expecting.

Sitting at home for weeks on end was causing me to suffer from cabin fever! When I accepted the first invitation, it never crossed my mind to ask for payment from them.  I was looking forward to a fun evening!  

The night with this couple was great and I felt relaxed knowing they had been tested after the party incident.  When the evening was over, the husband walked me out to my car.  He stuffed a wad of bills into my hand and thanked me.  I was shocked and said he was crazy, but he explained that he was simply trying to help me.  “We are friends, and I understand your current situation.  You need the money, just take it,” he said.  Thanking him, I kissed him and drove home.

Did this make me a prostitute?  Was I just paid for sex?  In my head, I really felt he was being kind and trying to help me.  It was true, I needed the money and I did take a risk going to their home.

A few days later, another couple called with a similar invitation.  I was less friendly with this couple and I hesitated.  Could I accept the invitation but tell them I would expect to be paid?  After considering how thrilled I was with the money I received last time, it was tempting.

I rehearsed what I would say and finally mustered up the courage to call them back.  Thankfully, the call went to voicemail.  It was a quick explanation of my current financial situation and the risk I was taking. I added that for some financial compensation, I would love to join them.

They did not call me back which made me feel awful.  Not because I cared about them, but I felt awful about myself.  During that first day, I went back and forth about it, but ultimately believed it was my right.  I don’t owe anybody anything and I am allowed to set the terms if people want to use me. 

Guess what?  Two days later, another couple phoned.  Same invitation and had already heard from the second couple.  They were happy to “help me out financially”!  I was thrilled!  This time I didn’t have to ask because they already knew.

And just like that, I had gone from unicorn, fun ‘extra’ female, to paid call girl!  The truth is, I don’t feel bad about it.  I am fulfilling a need for these couples and they are doing something to help me in return.  This is a win-win!

Do you like Kennedy’s black ring? Looking for swinger jewelry?  Find it here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

A unicorn explains why she is in the lifestyle and what she is looking for.

Unicorn wearing Partners ID jewelry

This blog was written for Partners ID by Kennedy M., a single woman in the lifestyle.

Most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves.  At times it can be challenging, especially when we find ourselves in situations that are hard to explain.  Imagine how hard it would be for vanilla people to wrap their minds around a unicorn!

Not long ago, while taking notes in a board room for an important client, I received an email with a subject line that said it was an important message from Joe (a close friend’s name).  I was busy and did not look at the return email address.  As soon as we took a break for a few minutes I scrolled down and clicked on it.  To my surprise there was a close up picture of a black man’s dick.  Before I could click delete, a male coworker was standing behind my chair asking if that was my new boyfriend.

When I am not blogging about my lifestyle experiences I have a job that is quite vanilla; complete with meetings in board rooms and client lunches.  For obvious reasons, I do not discuss my private life where I work.  When colleagues ask what I did over the weekend, I usually tell them, “The usual; a movie, some dinner” etc.  The company I work for would be horrified if they really knew how I spend my weekends.

I am a unicorn, a single girl in the swinger lifestyle, for those who do not know the term.

When I started swinging, I was not alone.  My boyfriend and I spent at least two night each week in our local swing club.   I was very much in love with my boyfriend and was heart broken when he ended it with little explanation.

I am not soured by this nor do I hate men.  Right now, I am wary of putting my heart out there again in fear that I will find myself in the same situation.

When I was finally ready to go back out after the breakup, I returned to a place where I felt very comfortable in the past.  My former boyfriend and I were swing club rats and spent at least two nights a week in our local establishment.  We had a nice circle of lifestyle friends, many of whom had reached out to me after the break up.

My first night out alone was a little bit scary.  Naturally, I was unsure how I would be received by some of the women.  Although I knew I was not looking to intrude on anyone’s relationship, would other people know that?  I had never really known any unicorns but had heard some women speaking poorly of them in the past.  The last thing I wanted was for people to think I had some ulterior motives for spending time in a swing club.

For the most part, the women were happy to see me and welcomed me with open arms.  One or two seemed a bit uncomfortable with all the attention the men lavished upon me (which I in no way sought out but as most unicorns will admit, it is hard to avoid).

The first few times I went to the club I felt a little awkward.  I needed people to make me feel like I belonged there.  It didn’t take long for couples (some I knew, some I did not) to ask me to join them in the back room.  After a period of time I started receiving invitations to parties.  Then men started asking me to accompany them to the club when their wives were out of town.   Although I do know other unicorns who have no problem with this, I have always declined the offers.   Whereas I knew why I was there, I wasn’t sure others understood why I chose to make a swing club my night life of choice.  It was hurtful when I overheard women asking each other what exactly I was looking for.

I will tell you “what I was, and still am, looking for.”  I love to dance, I love to dress sexy and I love to have fun.  I like to meet new people and I love to have sex; both with men and with women.  I like the comfort and the warmth of the lifestyle.  It’s a great place to go to as you do not need a date, or to make plans with others.  You just show up and hang with the people who are there.  You can spend an amazing night, have great sex and kiss the other people goodnight.  I can go home and sleep alone in my bed.  Nobody to answer to.  I can stay until 12 midnight or go home at 4am.  I can do what I want with no strings attached.

If I am looking for some one on one time, there are always single guys who are more than willing to spend the evening with a unicorn.  The best part is, I do not have to be alone with them.  We can choose a private room to play but I am not in a scary situation with a stranger.  If I want to be with a couple, no problem.  If I want a gang bang, that’s my choice.  The best part for me is that I leave alone.

I am not looking for a boyfriend, husband or anything else; just a good time.  That’s it, that’s all.  Obviously I cannot speak for every unicorn as we are all individuals.  Over time I have gotten to know a few who spend time in this swing club. We are definitely not all on the same page.  Personally, I will not go into the back room with someone else’s husband if she is not in the club to approve.  Most of the other girls have no problem with that.

I  will not date a married man with or without the wife’s permission.  I will only play with someone’s husband if she is present, but even then, I prefer to make it a threesome.  Most unicorns I have met don’t really have any rules.  They are out for themselves and offer no apologies for what they do.  They prefer to be alone for a variety of reasons and although they love the attention they get in the clubs, for the most part, they are not looking for anything more than a good time.

I have tried to imagine how I would feel if there was a unicorn around when my boyfriend and I were together at the club.  We did not really know of any at that time so it is hard to say.  If unicorns are respectful of other’s relationships then there should never be a problem.  I would suggest making sure that if you choose this route you pay a lot of attention to the women.  If you are flirting with their husband and ignoring them, this will be a problem for sure.  Since you have no one to offer to them, you must flirt with them as a couple.  Always try to put yourself in the woman’s shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if the situation were reversed.

Unicorns are a great addition to the lifestyle if they understand the rules of the game.  Some think they are the stars of the club because they get a lot of attention.  Perhaps it would be better to just think of yourself as another component to the lifestyle.  Although we bring an added element to the lifestyle, the lifestyle could easily exist without us.

Nobody ever asks what single men are looking for in the club.  Why the double standard?  It seems a question I hear often regarding unicorns.   Perhaps it would surprise people to hear that I am looking for sex just like they are.  It just so happens tothat I prefer the no strings attached variety.  I don’t want you to call me in the morning.  Really, I don’t.  More often that not, I also don’t want to play with you again.  It was fun once but I am not looking to repeat the experience regardless of how awesome it might have been.  I am not looking for you to cuddle with me or tell me how beautiful I am.  Please do not tell me about your problems and I will not bother you with mine.  The truth is, I don’t really care, I just want to enjoy my night out.

I do like to try new things and am very open minded.  Sometimes that seems to make some women feel  a little threatened.  I am not a slut or a whore because I am a sexual person.  When I was in a relationship I did not feel as free to explore things as I do now.  Perhaps that is why it is hard for you to relate, but that doesn’t really give you the right to judge.

People have asked me many times why I am not out looking for someone of my own.  It is a valid question but again, I am enjoying being by myself.  When I am ready to be in a relationship, I can assure you I will not be fishing for someone in a swing club.  Perhaps one day I will meet a nice single guy at a lifestyle event but who knows.  For now, I am very happy to be a unicorn and have no plans to change that any time soon.

Swingers and strangers; the dangers of picking up a stranger for a night of fun.

Hotel doorway
Couple walking into a hotel

It seems that while we are in the thick of the pandemic, many swingers are still looking to play.  With swing clubs and lifestyle resorts closed (for the most part), some swingers are opting to find fun on their own.  This story reminds us of the danger of trusting strangers.*

Swingers like to have a good time but sometimes in their quest for the next great adventure, they might forget to think about their own safety. This is an email we received from a woman who wanted to share her story about having sex with a total stranger.  (We struggled with whether or not to post this but decided it is a story worth reading).  Although some people might argue that swingers in swing clubs and at lifestyle events are strangers, they really are not. Every club requires a membership which means everyone must register with their driver’s license, among other things. Even private parties do not usually include complete strangers. Most form a guestlist through swinger dating sites, which also have memberships.

No matter where or with whom you choose to swing, it is always important to use common sense. It is no different if you are single and dating, you must make sure to think about your safety at all times.  Although the fantasy of sex with strangers turns some people on,  the reality is not always what you might expect.

This is the email we received from a woman; we are glad to hear she is ok:

Rob and I were out of town and having drinks at a local bar. We met this really hot guy and decided I should flirt with him to see if maybe he would come back to our room and have sex with me while Rob watched. He was so big and muscular, exactly my type. I approached him and he was flirting back. I pointed to my husband and told him we are swingers and my husband would only want to watch. He seemed a little apprehensive at first but he soon agreed and followed us to the hotel.

We went upstairs and had a drink to help make him feel more comfortable. My husband sat in a chair across the room and gave us the sign to go ahead and forget he was there. The guy was really hot and things moved really fast. He tried to enter me without a condom but Rob was very vocal about that not happening and handed the guy a condom. He slipped it on and was really turned on. I glanced across the room to Rob, and he was sitting with his pants around his ankles.
I was having a great time when the guy flipped me over.  At first, I thought he was just going to do me from behind but he was trying for anal. Although I tried to stop him, he was becoming very aggressive. Before I knew it, he was totally inside and it was very painful. I was telling him to stop and Rob got up from the chair to approach us. The guy turned around and told Rob to “sit the fuck down”. At this point, I realized we were in a bad spot. It was like being raped while my husband was trying to talk him down. He was no physical match for this guy and we both knew it. Long story short, he finished, got dressed, and left. To make matters worse, his condom was not on when he pulled out. First I thought it slipped off inside me but I saw it on the floor and it was not used.

I know there are many couples out there who like to pick up strangers for a night of wild sex but after this experience, I realize how incredibly stupid it is. The truth is, I feel lucky that nothing worse had happened. He could have robbed us or killed us, we were so vulnerable. I have been tested for STDs and thankfully I am clean.
From now on, we will stick with swinging at our local club where there is security to prevent this type of situation. It is not safe to put yourself in a situation like this with a total stranger. I have nightmares almost every night, reliving this terrifying evening.

Sorry to bring such a terrible thing to swingers but I want people to realize that although picking up strangers sounds like fun, it is not worth the possible consequences.

Thanks for listening!

J.R and R.R

*We at Partners ID do not condone playing at this time.  This was sent to us several years ago.  Please stay safe!

Vaginas: They are sought after by so many, yet rarely spoken of.

Let’s talk about vaginas, shall we? It is something people rarely mention…

Vaginas are an integral part of our sex lives yet just saying the word seems to make people uncomfortable.   To test out this theory it seemed natural to talk with a group of swingers.  Swingers are such a great resource when sex is the topic. They are not afraid to be open and candid. If you want to know something that you have never been comfortable asking regarding sex, ask a swinger. They might not have all the answers, but they will certainly give you any information they can! Why then, when they hear the word vagina, do even swingers giggle?

So what’s the deal with vaginas?

Just the word vagina makes people shy away. A Michigan lawmaker was banned from speaking in her state’s House of Representatives because she said the word “vagina.” Really?! Is the vagina not simply a female body part? Should she have called it a va jay jay? How about pussy or snatch? Better?

How about the tampon commercials? They are obviously dealing directly with vaginas yet they never once use the word. How is this possible? If you watch carefully, they don’t even make mention of the female genitalia; not even a “down there” reference. What’s up with that?

It makes people giggle and look at you like you are drunk when you say the word vagina.

There are so many nicknames for the vagina that this should be a red flag right there! I have heard everything from penis snuggie to tuna taco to honey pot, and those are some of the nicer ones. There are actually lists of names on the internet. Here are a few sites I found:

http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-07-21/name-that-vajayjay-40-words-for-every-situation/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/105361

http://www.webdate.com/forum/all_things_webdate/Unique_Names_for_A_Vagina

Not even swingers are comfortable using the word?

I asked a group of female swingers if they ever use the word in general. Whether while talking about sex or even with their gynecologist. Ready for this? They all answered no, it’s not a word they feel comfortable using. Really? Even for swingers? I asked if they were having a problem with their vagina, how they would refer to it while speaking with their doctor? The most common answer: “down there.” One said she had actually said va jay jay to her doctor. I asked if he laughed and she said no.

Why do we need to use other words to describe it?

Is there a problem with the word vagina? Maybe we should consider simply changing the name to something that doesn’t make people so uncomfortable. Even after reading through some pretty ridiculous, yet hilarious names, I’m not sure what would be better: Cooch? Hooha? Snatch?

Is it the actual name of the organ that causes so much discomfort or is it the organ itself?

Men seem to take great pride in the fact that they have a penis. We see that from an early age and it seems to stay with them for their entire lives. Even as little boys, we see them touching it and playing with it as soon as they become aware of it. It’s rare that men shy away from an opportunity to take it out and show it off.

Why is it different for women? Is it the way we are brought up? Almost as if we are taught that it is something to be ashamed of? Why should something that is part of our sexual makeup, something that can make us feel so good, make us feel so ashamed?

Maybe it is time we give vaginas a break. They do an awful lot for us! It’s time we stopped being embarrassed by them and started giving them the respect they deserve! I am even willing to bet that after reading the word vagina this many times, you are feeling slightest more comfortable with it. Right?

Swingers: Why is it a secret that you are in the lifestyle?

Woman in lifestyle wearing Partners ID choker necklace

Are people still afraid to let others know that they are in the lifestyle?

Why do swingers feel the need to keep their lifestyle a secret?  I frequently hear swingers say that nobody knows that they are in the lifestyle.  They would die if someone found out.   Why is that?  What do people think when they hear someone they know is a swinger?  It reminds me of the time before I had ever had sex.   I couldn’t imagine how you could face the person you had sex with afterward.  What would they think after they had seen you in such a compromising way?  How would others see you? Obviously I discovered that these fears were unfounded.  Nobody seemed to look at me any differently, and facing the guy who I was with was no problem.  So what is it that makes us fear discovery?

 What is it that swingers fear about exposure?

Curiosity got the best of me and so I started to ask swingers.  I asked a group of swingers if they are very religious, but they are not.  I wondered if their children were at an age that it would create confusion and uncertainty, but they are not.  Do they think they are doing something criminal or unethical?  They do not.  Hmm.  Would exposure embarrass them?   This question got a nod.   Embarrassed? Why?  In truth, swingers are doing something that most people wish they could do.  They have sex with others and it doesn’t destroy their marriage.  Why?  Because two consenting adults have agreed to enter into this together.  There are no lies or secrets.

Would friends and family alienate you if they found out you were having an affair?

Admitting that you are a swinger should be a lot less traumatic than admitting you are having an affair, no?  After all, one is cheating and lying to someone you say you are in love with, the other is not.  Cheaters sneak around, worrying that they will be caught.   Getting caught would disrupt their lives and the lives of those around them.  Swingers, on the other hand, are out having a great time together.  They are out enjoying parties and events with their significant other.  This is something that others only dream of.

I wonder how many swingers are truly living this lifestyle unbeknownst to their friends and family.  Probably not nearly as many as believe they are.  Often times I watch swingers arrive at a club clad in an oversized trench coat in the middle of the summer.  When I ask these women if their family or neighbors don’t find this strange they say they don’t think so.  Really?  It’s 90 degrees outside and you leave your house or condo wearing a trench coat cinched at the waist with stiletto heels and nobody thinks that’s odd?

What happens to couples who come clean about the lifestyle?

Many swingers have said that when they finally decided to disclose to friends and family that they were swingers, many were not surprised.  Many said they had known about it for years but understood the swinger couple wanted to keep it to themselves.  (If these were the trench coat women, it’s no wonder people knew.)

What about the family and friends who did not suspect this person or couple was in the lifestyle?  What was their reaction?  Were they shocked and appalled?  Not according to the people I have spoken with.  Most said that more than anything, they were curious about swinging.  They asked a lot of questions but did not seem to have a negative reaction.  Many couples said that both friends and many family members (mostly siblings), eventually asked if they could tag along one night to see what it was all about.

Stop apologizing for your lifestyle choices; it’s your life and your decision to make.

Like any other group, in order to gain acceptance, we must learn to stand up for what we believe in.  Swingers should not be ashamed of their lifestyle.  Obviously it is not necessary to divulge what you do when you are at a swing club, or party, or another event.  Most people do not give blow by blow (pun intended) details to others about what they do in their bedrooms.  No need to reveal that you participated in a gang bang with 15+ men last Saturday. Nobody needs to know that you tried double penetration for the first time and loved it.  Many swingers don’t swap, and many people in the lifestyle are not swingers.  Enjoying the warm atmosphere that accompanies the lifestyle is a wonderful thing and people should not have to hide from it.

Why do people find it acceptable to learn that many famous couples are swingers?  Why are they held to a different standard than the rest of us.  Because they are famous?   Some are highly influential people and they do not deny that they are swingers.  Famous people frequently answer questions about their lifestyle and seem quite comfortable doing so.

What does wearing lifestyle jewelry actually say about you?

Wearing our jewelry means that you are open-minded.  If you think about it, being a part of the lifestyle really doesn’t mean more than that.   If your children or parents told you the same thing, would it concern you?  Although it might surprise you, you would  be happy to see them happy.

When we initially came up with the concept for the jewelry, we had just this vision in mind.  Wear the jewelry with pride.  First of all, others do not know what it means.  Secondly, even if they did, what does it really say about you?  It says that you are an open-minded person.

Let’s continue the movement to unite the lifestyle.  People in the lifestyle could really teach others a lot about relationships.  Honesty, respect and fun are the three hallmarks of the lifestyle.  What could be better than that?

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/page/2/