Our venture into the lifestyle; what we learned about ourselves and others.
Life is short, life is precious, life is a gift. We have all heard this many times before. It is something we often say or think about when we hear of someone dying. Whether the person was sick or it was a sudden event, it makes us promise to live life to the fullest because we never know what the future holds. This seems especially true given today’s climate.
What exactly is living life to the fullest? In my opinion, it means living without regrets. It means doing the things that make us happy. Nobody wants to find themselves at the end of their life wishing they had done something but were too afraid. It would seem at that point you would wonder what, exactly, you were afraid of.
This makes me think of the lifestyle and our decision to see what it was all about. When we pushed the door open to a swing club for the very first time, we had no idea what lay on the other side. In our minds, it was simply to be one evening to placate our curiosity. It would be one more thing to cross off our bucket list. Something that we could say we were proud to have done in our lives because it was outside of our comfort zone.
Even if our first night at a swing club had not been enjoyable (or even positive), I do believe we would have no regrets. The fact that we had taken the risk to try something different would be a plus in our memory banks. It might even give us something to laugh about if things went awry.
That, however, did not happen. It turned out that in our quest to remember to live life to the fullest, we had found something wonderful. Behind the doors to that first swing club was nothing we had prepared ourselves for. What had started out as an evening of fun, turned into a completely new lifestyle.
What we discovered that first night in a swing club is that once you cross the threshold, you belong. Everyone is welcome in the lifestyle. People do not discriminate against others. There is no concern regarding race, religion, sexual orientation, age, etc. If you are friendly, people in the lifestyle will accept you.
The lifestyle has taught us so much about living life to the fullest. People in the lifestyle are looking for fun. Many couples we have met, have raised their family and are ready to focus on themselves. An afternoon or an evening spent with lifestyle friends is always sure to be a party. It is a group of people who are looking to enjoy their lives. The lifestyle attracts a variety of people who come from different backgrounds, cultures and races. What brings these people together is their desire to have a good time. Every night in a swing club is like New Year’s Eve; it is festive and upbeat.
The lifestyle has taught us about commitment and communication. It gave me clarity about the difference between love and sex and how the two are not mutually exclusive.
It teaches you that simply because you find someone attractive or charming, it does not mean you want to spend your life with them. The same applies to your partner. It is ok for them to find another person attractive. Even if they have great sex together, it does not mean they want anything more. You have fun, say goodbye and go home with your partner to your life.
Having the opportunity to explore both your sexuality and your fantasies is very liberating. When you share this with your partner there is no reason to cheat. When you have everything you want at home, why would you seek it elsewhere?
Obviously, this is not all that is on my bucket list but it is something for which I will be forever grateful. For us, this is living life to its fullest. Spending every free night at dinner or a movie was not something that either of us really enjoyed. Rather than becoming complacent and discontent, we did something about it.
The lifestyle is not for everyone but if you don’t try it, how will you know?