The lifestyle can be difficult for new swingers. Where should they start?
Swinging used to be relatively easy for new couples to navigate. The internet was not yet born. Those who were looking to swing had to find ads in magazines or learn by word of mouth. Naturally, swing clubs were pretty much the only place you could go to find a group of swingers. Meet and greets and private parties were very difficult to find. These were not things people were advertising in magazines. There were no real choices to be made when it came to swinging. If you wanted to see what it was all about, you would head out to a swing club.
With the popularity of the internet, this has all changed. It is easy to look up swinger events, clubs and venues online. This, however, does not mean it is easy to figure out how to begin your swinging career! Every blog you read tells you something different. Some say online dating sites are the best while others say steer clear of them. Some writers recommend visiting a swingers resort while others say that is a terrible introduction to swinging.
On your first night it will benefit you to be content to sit back and observe.
Every swinger was at one time new to the lifestyle, or in swingers terms a “newbie”. The first time we went to a swing club, the manager gave us a tour. When he was finished, we were left inside to fend for ourselves. It was the first time I had ever felt like the two of us were one person. Although we were together, we were actually alone.
We looked around the club and it felt like everyone knew each other. There were clearly a bunch of different cliques of people. As we sat and watched, we wondered how we would ever meet people. It felt like everyone seemed to belong, except for us. After assessing the situation (and throwing back a few shots), we got up the nerve to dance. People on the dance floor smiled at us and one couple even came over and asked us if we were new. Is it that obvious, I wondered? We said we were and they introduced themselves. With that, a couple they knew walked over and they turned their attention to the other couple. Since this was our first time at a swing club, we were content to just observe the crowd and go home early.
On your second visit you will have a better idea of how the club works; this will make it more comfortable.
A few weeks later, we decided to try it again. This time I knew how to dress and what to expect. That made a big difference in the way we handled ourselves when we walked in. First of all, we decided to get there early so it was not very busy when we arrived. We went right to the bar and got our drinks.
We looked around to see if we could find the couple that had introduced themselves to us on the dance floor, but they were not there. There was a couple sitting on a couch by themselves so we walked over and asked if we could sit. They were very friendly and seemed happy to meet a new couple. We were not looking so much to swing with them, as we were looking to meet people to talk to.
Soon, the couch was filled with couples they knew, and they introduced us to them. Just like that, on our second night in this swing club we had met about ten couples. This is a very easy way for newbies to be introduced to swingers and the lifestyle. Most of the couples we met that night were regulars at this club. This meant that when we decided to return for another night, chances are, at least a few of them would be there so we wouldn’t have to be alone.
A swing club allowed us the opportunity to see what it was all about while taking it at our own pace. We did not feel any pressure to do anything that was out of our comfort zone. Nobody was counting on us to make the night a success. The club environment allows you the freedom to arrive and leave on your own schedule (unlike private parties, where people are counting on you). When we did not feel comfortable talking to a couple we simply left to dance or excused ourselves to get another drink. People were both friendly and respectful.
Don’t rush the process, make sure you are both ready before you take the next step.
Nothing causes a couple to fail at swinging more than when one person is pushing the other to do something that makes them uncomfortable. It is normal to get caught up in the excitement of the lifestyle but it is important to always consider your partner’s feelings. If you would like to continue in the lifestyle with your partner, always keep this in mind.
Eventually, you will both be ready to take it to the next step.
When we felt ready, we took it to the next step all on our own.
What about meet and greets; are they a good place for newbies to start?
Some people feel that meet and greets are full of swingers who all know each other and are not looking to meet new people. This is where I wholeheartedly disagree. Most swingers I know actually choose to go to meet and greets purely to meet new swingers. If they were not looking to meet new people, they would simply go to a swing club where the regulars are.
Meet and greets are designed to give couples who are new to the lifestyle, or new to the area, a chance to meet other swingers. Some of the couples we have met at meet and greets are swingers who do not like swing clubs and are looking for couples to invite out privately. This can be good or bad. If a couple are seasoned swingers, you might want to let them know you are new and are looking to take swinging step by step. The good thing about couples who are not new to the lifestyle is that they can help you navigate the whole process. The bad thing is, they might want you to move faster than what is comfortable for you. Communication is always very important in any swinging situation.
Lifestyle resorts and expos, would newbies feel comfortable in these environments?
Lifestyle expos and resorts can be a lot of fun, but if you are new to the lifestyle and just looking to see what it is all about, these types of venues can seem a bit hardcore. Both are a lot of fun for swingers, but if swinging is new to your couple, these environments can be intimidating. Most people who attend conventions or go on swinging vacations are not new to the lifestyle. They have a limited amount of time and want to make the most of the vacation. At the last expo we attended, by the time we arrived (which was only a few hours after it started), the party was in full swing with many couples already naked in the pool enjoying themselves. It was fine with us, but if we were newbies, it would have felt a little intimidating.
What about a swinger cruise?
Swinger cruises are also a wonderful vacation for those in the lifestyle but perhaps not the best place for new swingers to start. The biggest problem with a cruise for your first introduction to the lifestyle is that you cannot walk away if you do not like it. Of course, you do not have to swing, but the majority of people who choose a lifestyle cruise, do so because they are looking to swing.
We see that we can sign up on a swinger dating site for a private party…
Some people who are new to swinging might think a private party would be an easy way to meet other swingers. After all, there are usually fewer people at a party than a club, so it is easier to talk to others. While this may be true, most private parties are for real swingers. When you attend a private party, people usually think if you are there, it is to play. Why else would you attend? For that reason, it is probably not the best place to start, unless you think that you want to swing your first night out, which is usually not the best idea.
How about trying to meet couples on swinger dating sites? This seems easy…
Swinger dating sites are also great for swingers but may not be the best avenue for new swingers to take when trying to meet other couples. It can be difficult to navigate these sites when you are new to the lifestyle. Looking at photos (which frequently are not very current) and reading ages (again, not always honest) and profiles can be misleading. Trying to meet up with couples who cancel at the last minute or don’t respond to your emails can be frustrating. New swingers might take it personally while seasoned swingers have learned it is not personal. Many swingers also know what to look for when checking out online sites, while newbies do not. This can cause them to have a negative first experience.
So what’s the bottom line? We are new to the lifestyle and would like to test the waters.
For these reasons, I recommend to new swingers that the best place to start would probably be at a meet and greet. If you are lucky, you might meet another new couple and the four of you can venture out to a swing club together to get a feel for the lifestyle. Swing clubs sometimes also host meet and greets from time to time and this is even better. These events mix new swingers with those already in the lifestyle. This gives those who are new, a chance to see a swing club. It also allows them the opportunity to meet both new and old swingers. It gives you the freedom to come and go as you please. Nobody expects anything from you. You can choose to sit back and observe or you can jump in and join the party.
The most important thing for new swingers is to communicate.
Whatever you decide for your first swinging experience, make sure to communicate with your partner both before you go and while you are there. Before making the decision to play with another couple, it is crucial that you decide this as a couple. If one person is not ready, it will only lead to disaster and very likely will stop your swinging career before it ever begins. The lifestyle is a wonderful thing if handled properly. Your partner must always be made to feel like your number one priority. You cannot enter a swinger environment and leave your partner to fend for themselves or to follow your every lead. Swinging must be done as a joint venture, especially at the beginning, to ensure success. https://www.swingersjewelry.net/communicate/
The most important thing to remember is that this is supposed to be fun! If one of you is not having fun, then perhaps you need to back up and figure out why someone is not happy. Swinging is not for everyone and it will not work if one person is doing it for their partner. Again, communication is the key to success in the lifestyle.
Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry!
Wearing our lifestyle jewelry is another way to meet swingers. Sold only through lifestyle sites and venues. The jewelry allows you to be discreet yet will let other swingers know that you, too, are in the lifestyle. Perfect for nights out in bars and clubs that don’t cater to swingers. You’ll be surprised how quickly you will meet other swingers! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers
Follow our blog for great stories from other swingers who have met each other simply because they were wearing our jewelry! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/lifestyle-2/
Good luck and have fun!