Whatever the case, if you are one of those “shy” people, perhaps this is the perfect time for you to take advantage and go after what you want! There are women in the lifestyle who always wear a wig when they are at a lifestyle event. They claim they have more confidence because people do not recognize them and they like it that way. Costumes are also a good conversation starter. Complimenting others on how clever they are or how perfect their costume, makes it easy to open the dialogue. Once you have begun a conversation it is easy to introduce yourselves and ask the other couple questions about themselves.
We get a lot of emails from our customers, which we truly appreciate! We obviously cannot publish every letter we receive but this couple asked us to share their story:
Hello Partners ID!
First of all I want to say that my wife and I have been fans of your company since we first heard about you. As I am sure many others did when they learned of your company, we wondered why it took this long for someone to actually develop a symbol strictly for swingers. It seems like a no-brainer yet nobody has ever done it before so, bravo to you!
We purchased a couple of necklaces a few months ago, which we love, and put them on our necks. About 3 weeks after we started to wear them we were traveling to see my wife’s parents down south. We do not like to stay with them so we checked into a hotel not far from where they live. The first night we arrived late so we decided rather than disturbing them we would just grab a bite somewhere near the hotel and wait until morning to see them. The concierge at the hotel recommended a bar within walking distance of the hotel, so off we went for dinner.
The place had a decent crowd so we figured the food must be good. My wife and I waited at the bar for a table, and soon the hostess came to get us. The hostess told us that it would be no problem to just put the bar tab on our food bill. With that, we followed her to the table. A few minutes after sitting down, the hostess came back to our table to inform us that a couple at the bar had paid our bar tab. We were shocked because we did not know anyone there and we don’t live nearby. She then pointed to an attractive couple sitting across the bar from where we were sitting. The hostess then handed me a piece of a napkin which was folded in half. The note was from the couple, it read, “We love your necklaces.”
We couldn’t believe it! WOW! We waved them over to the table and the rest is history! We had a wonderful night with them and have been in touch ever since. They are planning to come and stay with us soon and we are really looking forward to that!
So again, Bravo! Well done! We really weren’t sure we would ever find someone with the jewelry but we did! The funny thing is, the other couple did not have the jewelry but they knew what it was. As you know, we just purchased 2 necklaces and are planning to surprise them with the jewelry when they come to visit.
Thank you again Partners ID!
David and Vicki
North Potomac, MD
Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. As a rule, when it comes to swinging, it is no different.
Swinging is something people do for enjoyment. Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun. If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenage children.
The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night. You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time. Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.
A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks, and heading into a play area. Next, you try to find another couple (or single). Ideally, everybody plays, everybody is happy, and you leave. That’s not so hard, right?
For many couples it is simple. They have conversations about what works for the both of them. Usually, the problems begin when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.
So what causes drama in the lifestyle? Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong? Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:
1. Someone is too drunk to play.
2. One member of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3. The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4. One member of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5. The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6. One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7. They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8. One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9. One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10. One gets upset and leaves during play.
Not surprisingly, when couples find themselves in situations such as these, it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.
With this in mind, how can you avoid ending up with couples who create drama? Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance. Couples are not always upfront and honest regarding what they will and will not participate in. Not to mention the couples who say they are full swap and ready to play, and they are not.
To begin with, couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with. If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront. Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well. Besides, couples who cause drama eventually develop a reputation as such.
Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun. Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment. If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.
The bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…
If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
This blog was written for Partners ID by Kennedy M., a single woman in the lifestyle.
Most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves. At times it can be challenging, especially when we find ourselves in situations that are hard to explain. Imagine how hard it would be for vanilla people to wrap their minds around a unicorn!
Not long ago, while taking notes in a board room for an important client, I received an email with a subject line that said it was an important message from Joe (a close friend’s name). I was busy and did not look at the return email address. As soon as we took a break for a few minutes I scrolled down and clicked on it. To my surprise there was a close up picture of a black man’s dick. Before I could click delete, a male coworker was standing behind my chair asking if that was my new boyfriend.
When I am not blogging about my lifestyle experiences I have a job that is quite vanilla; complete with meetings in board rooms and client lunches. For obvious reasons, I do not discuss my private life where I work. When colleagues ask what I did over the weekend, I usually tell them, “The usual; a movie, some dinner” etc. The company I work for would be horrified if they really knew how I spend my weekends.
I am a unicorn, a single girl in the swinger lifestyle, for those who do not know the term.
When I started swinging, I was not alone. My boyfriend and I spent at least two night each week in our local swing club. I was very much in love with my boyfriend and was heart broken when he ended it with little explanation.
I am not soured by this nor do I hate men. Right now, I am wary of putting my heart out there again in fear that I will find myself in the same situation.
When I was finally ready to go back out after the breakup, I returned to a place where I felt very comfortable in the past. My former boyfriend and I were swing club rats and spent at least two nights a week in our local establishment. We had a nice circle of lifestyle friends, many of whom had reached out to me after the break up.
My first night out alone was a little bit scary. Naturally, I was unsure how I would be received by some of the women. Although I knew I was not looking to intrude on anyone’s relationship, would other people know that? I had never really known any unicorns but had heard some women speaking poorly of them in the past. The last thing I wanted was for people to think I had some ulterior motives for spending time in a swing club.
For the most part, the women were happy to see me and welcomed me with open arms. One or two seemed a bit uncomfortable with all the attention the men lavished upon me (which I in no way sought out but as most unicorns will admit, it is hard to avoid).
The first few times I went to the club I felt a little awkward. I needed people to make me feel like I belonged there. It didn’t take long for couples (some I knew, some I did not) to ask me to join them in the back room. After a period of time I started receiving invitations to parties. Then men started asking me to accompany them to the club when their wives were out of town. Although I do know other unicorns who have no problem with this, I have always declined the offers. Whereas I knew why I was there, I wasn’t sure others understood why I chose to make a swing club my night life of choice. It was hurtful when I overheard women asking each other what exactly I was looking for.
I will tell you “what I was, and still am, looking for.” I love to dance, I love to dress sexy and I love to have fun. I like to meet new people and I love to have sex; both with men and with women. I like the comfort and the warmth of the lifestyle. It’s a great place to go to as you do not need a date, or to make plans with others. You just show up and hang with the people who are there. You can spend an amazing night, have great sex and kiss the other people goodnight. I can go home and sleep alone in my bed. Nobody to answer to. I can stay until 12 midnight or go home at 4am. I can do what I want with no strings attached.
If I am looking for some one on one time, there are always single guys who are more than willing to spend the evening with a unicorn. The best part is, I do not have to be alone with them. We can choose a private room to play but I am not in a scary situation with a stranger. If I want to be with a couple, no problem. If I want a gang bang, that’s my choice. The best part for me is that I leave alone.
I am not looking for a boyfriend, husband or anything else; just a good time. That’s it, that’s all. Obviously I cannot speak for every unicorn as we are all individuals. Over time I have gotten to know a few who spend time in this swing club. We are definitely not all on the same page. Personally, I will not go into the back room with someone else’s husband if she is not in the club to approve. Most of the other girls have no problem with that.
I will not date a married man with or without the wife’s permission. I will only play with someone’s husband if she is present, but even then, I prefer to make it a threesome. Most unicorns I have met don’t really have any rules. They are out for themselves and offer no apologies for what they do. They prefer to be alone for a variety of reasons and although they love the attention they get in the clubs, for the most part, they are not looking for anything more than a good time.
I have tried to imagine how I would feel if there was a unicorn around when my boyfriend and I were together at the club. We did not really know of any at that time so it is hard to say. If unicorns are respectful of other’s relationships then there should never be a problem. I would suggest making sure that if you choose this route you pay a lot of attention to the women. If you are flirting with their husband and ignoring them, this will be a problem for sure. Since you have no one to offer to them, you must flirt with them as a couple. Always try to put yourself in the woman’s shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if the situation were reversed.
Unicorns are a great addition to the lifestyle if they understand the rules of the game. Some think they are the stars of the club because they get a lot of attention. Perhaps it would be better to just think of yourself as another component to the lifestyle. Although we bring an added element to the lifestyle, the lifestyle could easily exist without us.
Nobody ever asks what single men are looking for in the club. Why the double standard? It seems a question I hear often regarding unicorns. Perhaps it would surprise people to hear that I am looking for sex just like they are. It just so happens tothat I prefer the no strings attached variety. I don’t want you to call me in the morning. Really, I don’t. More often that not, I also don’t want to play with you again. It was fun once but I am not looking to repeat the experience regardless of how awesome it might have been. I am not looking for you to cuddle with me or tell me how beautiful I am. Please do not tell me about your problems and I will not bother you with mine. The truth is, I don’t really care, I just want to enjoy my night out.
I do like to try new things and am very open minded. Sometimes that seems to make some women feel a little threatened. I am not a slut or a whore because I am a sexual person. When I was in a relationship I did not feel as free to explore things as I do now. Perhaps that is why it is hard for you to relate, but that doesn’t really give you the right to judge.
People have asked me many times why I am not out looking for someone of my own. It is a valid question but again, I am enjoying being by myself. When I am ready to be in a relationship, I can assure you I will not be fishing for someone in a swing club. Perhaps one day I will meet a nice single guy at a lifestyle event but who knows. For now, I am very happy to be a unicorn and have no plans to change that any time soon.
It seems that while we are in the thick of the pandemic, many swingers are still looking to play. With swing clubs and lifestyle resorts closed (for the most part), some swingers are opting to find fun on their own. This story reminds us of the danger of trusting strangers.*
Swingers like to have a good time but sometimes in their quest for the next great adventure, they might forget to think about their own safety. This is an email we received from a woman who wanted to share her story about having sex with a total stranger. (We struggled with whether or not to post this but decided it is a story worth reading). Although some people might argue that swingers in swing clubs and at lifestyle events are strangers, they really are not. Every club requires a membership which means everyone must register with their driver’s license, among other things. Even private parties do not usually include complete strangers. Most form a guestlist through swinger dating sites, which also have memberships.
No matter where or with whom you choose to swing, it is always important to use common sense. It is no different if you are single and dating, you must make sure to think about your safety at all times. Although the fantasy of sex with strangers turns some people on, the reality is not always what you might expect.
This is the email we received from a woman; we are glad to hear she is ok:
Rob and I were out of town and having drinks at a local bar. We met this really hot guy and decided I should flirt with him to see if maybe he would come back to our room and have sex with me while Rob watched. He was so big and muscular, exactly my type. I approached him and he was flirting back. I pointed to my husband and told him we are swingers and my husband would only want to watch. He seemed a little apprehensive at first but he soon agreed and followed us to the hotel.
We went upstairs and had a drink to help make him feel more comfortable. My husband sat in a chair across the room and gave us the sign to go ahead and forget he was there. The guy was really hot and things moved really fast. He tried to enter me without a condom but Rob was very vocal about that not happening and handed the guy a condom. He slipped it on and was really turned on. I glanced across the room to Rob, and he was sitting with his pants around his ankles.
I was having a great time when the guy flipped me over. At first, I thought he was just going to do me from behind but he was trying for anal. Although I tried to stop him, he was becoming very aggressive. Before I knew it, he was totally inside and it was very painful. I was telling him to stop and Rob got up from the chair to approach us. The guy turned around and told Rob to “sit the fuck down”. At this point, I realized we were in a bad spot. It was like being raped while my husband was trying to talk him down. He was no physical match for this guy and we both knew it. Long story short, he finished, got dressed, and left. To make matters worse, his condom was not on when he pulled out. First I thought it slipped off inside me but I saw it on the floor and it was not used.
I know there are many couples out there who like to pick up strangers for a night of wild sex but after this experience, I realize how incredibly stupid it is. The truth is, I feel lucky that nothing worse had happened. He could have robbed us or killed us, we were so vulnerable. I have been tested for STDs and thankfully I am clean.
From now on, we will stick with swinging at our local club where there is security to prevent this type of situation. It is not safe to put yourself in a situation like this with a total stranger. I have nightmares almost every night, reliving this terrifying evening.
Sorry to bring such a terrible thing to swingers but I want people to realize that although picking up strangers sounds like fun, it is not worth the possible consequences.
Thanks for listening!
J.R and R.R
*We at Partners ID do not condone playing at this time. This was sent to us several years ago. Please stay safe!
Hi Partners ID!
This coronavirus has really made everything lifestyle related very difficult. We were planning to be on a lifestyle cruise in March but that was canceled. April was filled with plans for private hotel parties and get-togethers with friends but obviously these plans were all canceled.
While my boyfriend and I are enjoying the time at home, we do miss our lifestyle friends. We have enjoyed a few zoom parties and virtual sex with friends but let’s face it, it’s not the same. It is impossible to duplicate the feeling of meeting up with our friends, both old and new, for lifestyle-related fun.
Out of boredom the other day, I took a face mask and applied a tattoo that we received as a gift when we purchased jewelry from you. My boyfriend loved it and so I made one for him as well. We took pictures of ourselves and decided we had to wear them when we went out food shopping.
It became obvious at the grocery store that nobody was paying any attention to me. They would not see the symbol on my mask because people were mainly concerned with keeping their distance from each other. We both wore our masks with the symbol each time we went out but it always seemed that people were more interested in avoiding other people than connecting.
Somehow, it always seems when you least expect it, someone seems to notice! My dog wasn’t feeling well so I ran her over to see our vet. Their office is very large so they simply ask the customers to social distance in the waiting room. I was watching tv when a woman sitting across from me waved to get my attention. As I looked up she pointed to my mask and told me she loved it and wanted to buy one. Unsure if she really knew the meaning or liked the decoration I laughed. She told me she was serious that she had a necklace with that pendant and then I knew.
Honestly, I never expected anyone to know what the symbol meant but clearly I was wrong! She gave me her phone number and I promised to make one for her. How fun that we met this other couple from the mask! Maybe you should consider selling masks!
I thought you would enjoy this!
Cathy and Keith
To see our lifestyle jewelry and tattoos, visit us here: www.swingerjewelry.net/shop
Dear Partners ID,
I will speak for myself when I say that I love to read your letters from swingers who have found each other because they spotted your jewelry.
My story is a little bit different. I do have several pieces of your jewelry, which I love but it was your tattoo that inspired me. You might remember that I had contacted you asking for permission to use your logo for a permanent tattoo. I did have it done and just like the jewelry, it attracts attention.
The tattoo is located on the inside of my wrist so it is discreet but visible. The interesting thing about this tattoo is how it alerts people in the lifestyle that I am definitely a player. When they see it, they know what it means. Nobody has a permanent tattoo if they are not a genuine swinger!
The part about meeting another (very unexpected swinger) starts now. I had taken a bad fall and injured my wrist. My dad suggested I make an appointment to see his long time friend who is an orthopedic surgeon. After sending me for X-rays they determined that it was indeed fractured.
I met the doctor for a consultation. He suggested placing it in a cast for 6-8 weeks. When he examined my wrist he stopped when he spotted my tattoo. I could see him looking carefully at the design and came right out and asked me what it meant. Talk about awkward! The explanation I gave was for nothing as he told me he knew the sign well; he too is in the lifestyle!
We did not make plans to meet up or anything of that nature. After all, he is my dad’s friend! This is a man who I have known since I was a young kid and never would have suspected he is in the lifestyle. We agreed that it should be our little secret but he did love my tattoo!
Although we will not see each other as swinger friends, he did fix me up with someone else who is in the lifestyle. We have been out a few times and we will see where that goes!
Love your concept, love the design and love the jewelry. I hope this story makes you smile and who knows, maybe I’ll be the second swinger bride!
Looking for lifestyle jewelry? Click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
My wife’s favorite night of the year happens to be New Year’s Eve. She loves shopping for a special dress, getting her hair done and spending the night at her favorite swing club.
My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for a long time (almost 20 years). Our social life is limited to swing clubs and private parties, meet and greets and Sunday fundays. We vacation at Desire and try to catch at least one lifestyle cruise every year. Yes, we are hard core but this is our life and we love it.
We spend every Christmas in South Florida visiting my parents. We discovered Trapeze about 10 years ago and have been going there every New Year’s Eve since discovering this club. This year was to be no exception.
We arrived in Florida for Christmas Eve and settled in for our 2 week stay. Everything was great until we got a phone call early December 31 from her mother. Her dad was admitted to the hospital with chest pains and they believed he had suffered a heart attack.
We soon boarded a plane and headed to Connecticut to see her dad. Our only thought at this point was her dad and his health.
Long story short, we arrived at the hospital and her dad was resting comfortably. He had not had a heart attack but did require a stent to prevent one. He was fine and would be released the next morning. We drove her mom home and she wanted nothing more than to sleep.
So here it is New Year’s Eve, in Connecticut, and we have no place to go. Since my wife did not actually grow up in Connecticut, she is not familiar with the night life. It was getting late so we decided to at least try to find a restaurant where we could enjoy a nice dinner.
Not far from where her parents live is a tavern that advertised live music and dancing. At least it was something! The bar was lively with groups of people out to celebrate New Years Eve. They had a large screen tv set up to watch the ball drop in Times Square. My wife and I were anxious to relax and enjoy the evening and ordered some drinks. Luckily we were seated at a table quickly and were able to get some food.
After we finished eating we were happy to join the party goers out on the dance floor. We had about 30 minutes before midnight and spent the entire time dancing.
Our attention turned to the dj as he counted down the remaining 10 seconds of 2018. As he screamed happy new year at exactly midnight, I turned to kiss my wife. Just as we kissed, a couple appeared next to us, telling us they were next. I was totally caught off guard when this attractive woman started kissing me right on the mouth. As I turned to look at my wife, she and the man were deep into a french kiss of their own.
I took a step backward to try to see if we knew this couple. The woman reached over and tugged at my necklace. “We have these too,” she said, which made me smile right away. We spent the rest of the night with this couple and that is how new years was saved! Obviously we are so grateful that we wear this lifestyle jewelry because without it, we would have not have met them. It was a wonderful and memorable evening!
Happy New Year to everyone!
Alex and Anna
Remember to check out our lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
Dear Partners ID,
I read the story about the couple from New York who walked in half naked to their own surprise party and it brought back memories of our own nightmare. I think this story is at least as cringe worthy.
My husband and I had been in the lifestyle for about 5 years. We spent at least two days a week at the swing club near our home (about 20 miles), and were very comfortable there. The club was not large but it did attract a good crowd most nights.
We were heavy into swinging and went into the playroom almost every night we were in the club. Spending this much time in this club, we knew most of the people who came to the club and some of us were very friendly.
It was Halloween and for this club, it was always a very busy night. It was rare to see someone come to this club and not wear a costume. Some people were so dressed up, we could not tell who they were.
This particular night, a couple that we were very close with was in the club. My husband took the woman to dance and I walked over to a couch with the woman’s husband. We immediately started to kiss and fondle each other and things got hot quickly. He bent me over the side of the couch, lifted my costume and started to lick my pussy from behind. Soon I could feel an extra set of hands caressing my breasts. I figured it was either my husband or the man who was nearby when we sat down on the couch. Before I knew it, the man is rubbing my clit while the other guy is eating me out and I have a very intense orgasm. I turned to kiss the man to say thank you for joining in when I realized who he was. It was my sister’s husband! My brother in law! OMG!
Needless to say I was completely shocked and traumatized! Our costumes made it difficult to see our faces so neither of us realized until after the fact.
Today the four of us laugh about it and my husband and sister are always joking that it is their turn.
By the way, I love the necklace you custom made for me, it’s perfect!
Dina and Joe
Swingers from Atlanta, GA
If you are looking for the perfect holiday gift, now is the time to order custom made lifestyle jewelry! Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/