Why is it so hard for the vanilla community to accept swingers?

It can be very frustrating to be a swinger.  Those of us who are in the lifestyle love it, but we go to great lengths to hide it from friends and family.   The vanilla world seems unable to understand why people are actually swingers.  Even if you try to explain it them, most are very close minded about the entire lifestyle. 

Why do you suppose people are so turned off by the whole concept?  Is it their upbringing?  Religion?  It just seems unnatural?  How much do others really even know or understand about swinging?

Perhaps they are afraid of what they do not understand. It makes sense that people who are not in the lifestyle would think swingers are crazy.  We allow our significant other to have sex with other people.  We allow them!  What if they like sex with the other person more than they like sex with us?  In my mind, when I hear vanilla people talking negatively about swingers, this is what I think they are worried about.

It is very possible that your partner will love having sex with another person.  That is ok and will not threaten your relationship.  Generally when we discover something that excites us about a new lover, we try to incorporate that into our own love making.  I should note, you have sex with other swingers, you make love with your partner.  There is a big difference. (This might not apply to every swinger, but it applies to most.)

Many people become very possessive in their relationships.  How many times have you heard women complain that their husband is checking out an attractive woman?  They become annoyed; they feel it is rude.  The same applies to women looking at other men.  It is natural to notice an attractive person and it really does not mean you don’t love your partner.  This simply makes you human.  

Getting married or being in a committed relationship does not stop us from being sexual beings.   It provides us with a partner with whom you can  share your life.  Someone with whom to raise a family.  A person to be by your side through thick and thin.   This is the person with whom you should have sex on a regular basis. 

Being married or committed to another does not mean that you will cease noticing attractive people.  That never changes.  Humans will always fantasize about people they see or meet but it does not change the way you feel about your partner.  Noticing a hot guy does not mean you want to share your life with them.  Checking out a woman with a beautiful body in no way indicates your husband is leaving you to chase after her.

The lifestyle brings people together who do love their partner, but also love to have sex.  Most of these couples are looking for variety.  They are seeking out a way to spice up their sex lives together.  What sets them apart from other couples is that they take this step together.  Rather than one person, or both, sneaking out behind the other’s back, they discuss what is missing and try to find a solution as a couple.  The rewards for handling it this way are immense.

Having an open relationship takes away the need to cheat.  When couples are open and honest it enhances their relationship.  There are no lies or deceptions.

Couples in the lifestyle rediscover the thrill of the hunt.  As a couple, they go out and meet other couples together for sex.   Imagine discussing with your significant other which person appeals to you and to them.  We maintain our relationship with our significant other while exploring our sexuality with others who are also open minded. What a great concept!  

The ability to be this open with your partner is amazing;  no more secret lusting or hiding our attraction to others.   Imagine discussing the experience after the fact while wrapped in each others arms.  Giggling like children about the mishaps that occur from time to time.  It probably surprises vanilla people when they hear that swinging brings you closer to your partner.  The honesty is very liberating and creates a bond that is incredibly strong.

Perhaps those who are quick to  put the lifestyle down should try to understand the concept.  Although we might not choose to live the way that vanilla couples do, we are not judging them.  We have also tried their way and decided it doesn’t fulfill us.  Hopefully in the future, people will stop judging what they do not understand.  We do not need their approval to live our lives in a way we seem fit, but it would be nice if we did not have to live so secretly!

Be sure to check out our new pieces of jewelry:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

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ASN Lifestyle Magazine has arrived and Michael Ramos reigns supreme!

ASN Lifestyle Magazine cover wearing Partners ID jewelry
Michael Ramos, publisher of ASN Lifestyle Magazine

 

Not a day goes by that we are not contacted via our online chat for lifestyle advice.  Although Partners ID sells lifestyle jewelry, it seems people are hungry for information regarding the lifestyle. At first, our operator explained her purpose, now she simply redirects them to ASN Lifestyle Magazine.

Although shy to admit this, people are hungry for sex.  They want to see it, read about it and mostly, engage in it.  Remember sneaking peeks at Playboy and later at Penthouse magazines? These publications seemed so racy, so edgy!  Now ASN is giving these publications a run for their money!

Although ASN is new to the game, they have been gathering steam at an alarmingly rapid rate.  They are strictly a digital publication, yet have gained an incredible amount of notoriety in a very short period of time. 

Playboy was the first magazine to arrive on the scene in December of 1953.  It was very controversial when it was first published due to the naked centerfolds.  The majority of women featured were famous actresses and models. 

The magazine was a pioneer in its liberal outlook but often included interviews with conservative political and other famous figures.  Men claimed they were mostly interested in this magazine because of the articles.  While the magazine is certainly a worthwhile publication, it seems geared primarily towards men.  The use of models and actresses is strictly to sell the magazine.  They might be picture perfect, but it doesn’t feel as though they are genuinely sexual.  

Penthouse took this type of magazine to the next level.  Rather than concerning themselves with upholding a conservative feel, they pushed the limits and created a soft porn magazine.  Again, this magazine hired models and porn stars to pose in sexually explicit poses.  Over the years, they have become a hard core porn magazine.  Penthouse routinely hires professional writers for article content.  The advertisers are not exclusively involved in the porn industry.

What sets ASN Lifestyle Magazine apart from every other publication is its authenticity.  The photos are not of models and actresses but rather of people who are actually in the lifestyle.  Nobody is simulating anything.  What you see is what it is.  This is the lifestyle.  When you see anything sexual, it is between consenting, loving adults, not paid actors and models.  

The sexual content is natural and beautiful.  It represents the love and eroticism that define the swinger lifestyle.

The blogs and articles are written by people who are in the lifestyle and are speaking from personal experience.  They are offering advice and giving outsiders a peek into what swingers are truly about.  

Both men and women will find things that they identify with between the covers of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.  It is not geared toward a male or female audience.  It is strictly a magazine devoted to those who are interested in a swinger lifestyle.

Even the advertising is geared towards the lifestyle.  You don’t see car ads or advertising for random products.  Everything is designed to attract people who are a part of the lifestyle.

What started out as a good idea has blossomed overnight into something most swingers look forward to every other month.  This magazine is packed with everything a swinger might need.  There are advice columns, etiquette information, vacation ideas, swing club exposés, even lube recommendations.  ASN Lifestyle Magazine includes all aspects of the swinger lifestyle in each publication.  No political commentaries or controversial topics that do not involve the lifestyle.

When was the last time you encountered any magazine that was this laser focused?  

Bottom line, if you are in the lifestyle, or looking to enter the lifestyle, ASN Lifestyle magazine is a must read.  If there is something missing, trust me, the editor would like to know so it can be included in the future.

Find ASN Lifestyle Magazine here:  http://www.asnlifestylemagazine.com/asn-lifestyle

Check out our new lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

We are currently taking custom orders for Valentine’s Day!

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A New Year’s Eve story that almost didn’t have a happy ending.

New Year's eve couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

My wife’s favorite night of the year happens to be New Year’s Eve.  She loves shopping for a special dress, getting her hair done and spending the night at her favorite swing club.

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for a long time (almost 20 years).  Our social life is limited to swing clubs and private parties, meet and greets and Sunday fundays.  We vacation at Desire and try to catch at least one lifestyle cruise every year.  Yes, we are hard core but this is our life and we love it.

We spend every Christmas in South Florida visiting my parents.   We discovered Trapeze about 10 years ago and have been going there every New Year’s Eve since discovering this club.  This year was to be no exception.  

We arrived in Florida for Christmas Eve and settled in for our 2 week stay.  Everything was great until we got a phone call early December 31 from her mother.  Her dad was admitted to the hospital with chest pains and they believed he had suffered a heart attack.

We soon boarded a plane and headed to Connecticut to see her dad.  Our only thought at this point was her dad and his health.

Long story short, we arrived at the hospital and her dad was resting comfortably.  He had not had a heart attack but did require a stent to prevent one.  He was fine and would be released the next morning.  We drove her mom home and she wanted nothing more than to sleep.

So here it is New Year’s Eve, in Connecticut, and we have no place to go.  Since my wife did not actually grow up in Connecticut, she is not familiar with the night life.  It was getting late so we decided to at least try to find a restaurant where we could enjoy a nice dinner.  

Not far from where her parents live is a tavern that advertised live music and dancing.  At least it was something!  The bar was lively with groups of people out to celebrate New Years Eve.  They had a large screen tv set up to watch the ball drop in Times Square.  My wife and I were anxious to relax and enjoy the evening and ordered some drinks.  Luckily we were seated at a table quickly and were able to get some food.  

After we finished eating we were happy to join the party goers out on the dance floor.  We had about 30 minutes before midnight and spent the entire time dancing.  

Our attention turned to the dj as he counted down the remaining 10 seconds of 2018.  As he screamed happy new year at exactly midnight, I turned to kiss my wife.  Just as we kissed, a couple appeared next to us, telling us they were next.  I was totally caught off guard when this attractive woman started kissing me right on the mouth.  As I turned to look at my wife, she and the man were deep into a french kiss of their own. 

I took a step backward to try to see if we knew this couple.  The woman reached over and tugged at my necklace.  “We have these too,” she said, which made me smile right away.   We spent the rest of the night with this couple and that is how new years was saved!  Obviously we are so grateful that we wear this lifestyle jewelry because without it, we would have not have met them.  It was a wonderful and memorable evening!

Happy New Year to everyone!

Cheers!

Alex and Anna

Ashburn, VA

Remember to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Here comes the bride and she’s wearing a necklace from Partners ID!

Swinger bride wearing a Partners ID lifestyle necklace

Hi Partners ID!  I have no doubt that this story is different from all of the others that you have heard regarding your jewelry.

Ten years ago my (then) boyfriend and I entered the lifestyle.  Being adventurous and sexually open, we had our first experience on a lifestyle cruise.  It was incredible and everything we had hoped for.  The people were friendly and warm and we took to swinging like ducks to water.  It was a wonderful trip and we remained in the lifestyle after the boat docked. 

There is a swing club not too far from where we lived and we became regular fixtures at this club.  Unfortunately, I wanted to have children and he did not, which caused us to split.  At that time, I continued to frequent this swing club because of all of the friends I had made.  Over time, I realized that if I wanted to have children, this would not be the place to find a husband!

Last year I moved to a new city and started a new job.  There is an active lifestyle community here but I hadn’t wanted to go it alone.  I tried online swinger dating but nothing panned out for me on these sites.  

One night, there was a fund raising event at a local bar and I decided to attend to show my support.  As always, when I got dressed, I slipped on my lifestyle necklace.  I loved the jewelry from the first time I discovered it existed.  (It is a simple silver choker that looks like a David Yurman design.)

When I entered the bar it was so crowded that I could barely make my way inside.  People were laughing and drinking and there was a band up on the stage.  After drinking a quick shot of whiskey, someone grabbed my arm and asked me to dance.  When I turned to see who it was, I was surprised because it was a complete stranger.  I agreed to dance and for the next hour, we danced to every song.  

When we finally headed back to the bar, I asked him his name.  His name is Cole and he has the bluest eyes I have ever seen.  When we sat down to talk, the first thing he mentioned was my necklace.  He told me he had actually won a bracelet at a raffle when he visited a swing club in Florida!  

Well, fast forward one year and Cole and I just got married!  Not only that, I wore the new Partners ID necklace he had custom made for me on our wedding day.  Right from the beginning he told me that when he saw the necklace, he knew he wanted to meet the girl who would wear it!  We are in the lifestyle and could not be happier!  

A very big thank you to Partners ID for helping me to meet my husband!  I doubt you ever thought that your jewelry had that much power!

Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year to all of you!

Very best wishes,

Chelsea and Cole

Seattle, Washington

This is the necklace Chelsea was wearing when she met Cole:

Silver Cable Choker Necklace with Lifestyle Pendant

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Your lifestyle jewelry made Thanksgiving into a night to remember!

Lifestyle woman wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

Dear Partners ID,

All I can say is you were not kidding!  We read often where you tell people to wear the jewelry and others will spot you!

This happened on Thursday at Thanksgiving dinner!  This would be the last place I would have ever imagined meeting another person in the lifestyle.

I have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years.  My boyfriend and I were experimenting with swinging and I loved it.  He did not and this actually caused us to break up.  Please, no tears, it was for the best.  

It has been a wonderful experience for me both as a part of a  couple and now as a single woman.  The people I meet are friendly and warm and my intention is to find a man (or woman) to be my partner in the lifestyle and possibly more.

My parents are divorced and my dad remarried many years ago.  We do not live in the same state and so I do not see him often.  This Thanksgiving I was invited to join him and his “other” family for the week.  Thanksgiving dinner was at his wife’s daughter’s home.  (I suppose I could call her my step sister but I do not.)  

Anyway, we arrived at her apartment and there were about 15 people invited for dinner.  Of those 15, I knew only 3 people.  I knew I was in for a very long and boring night.  My dad poured himself a glass of scotch and I asked for the same.  The only safe place to sit without having anyone on top of me was a lazy boy chair in the corner of the room.  I settled into the chair with my drink and observed the people moving around making small talk.  

A couple walked in and they were making their way around the room greeting all of the other guests.  When she leaned over to kiss my dad hello I spotted the charms on her necklace as they dangled from her open collared shirt.  It was hard to see at first because she had 2 other charms on the necklace, but I was pretty sure she was wearing your pendant. 

Finally ater greeting the other guests, she was alone pouring a drink so I made my way over to where she was standing.  She turned and smiled, introducing herself.  As I shook her hand I looked closely at the necklace and then I knew for sure.  The necklace had the lifestyle pendant and a heart on either side of the pendant.  Pointing to her necklace I told her I also have the pendant but mine is on an anklet which I never thought to wear for Thanksgiving!  

Long story short, we giggled through dinner and made an early exit.  My father was thrilled to see me hitting it off with some of his wife’s relatives and we laughed about this in the elevator ride down after dinner.   It was an awesome night!  I ended up staying at their home for the night (I didn’t say sleeping because we did not sleep until early morning).  

Moral of the story:  Wear the jewelry!  It is true that you never know where you will find someone in the lifestyle!

Thanks and happy holidays!

xo

Jasmine

Phoenix, Arizona

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You know you’re a swinger when…

Swingers wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

So you are in the lifestyle and have gotten your feet wet in the world of swinging.  It does not matter what “type” of swinger you are:  full swap, soft swap, etc., what matters is that you are now one of us!   It comes about slowly, but all of the sudden you have that aha moment when you realize you are truly part of the lifestyle.  This list points out things that are common among people who swing and if two or more apply to you, you are a swinger!

You know you’re a swinger when:

The names in your phone are couples with first names only (or they all have the same last name, which is the name of your swing club).

To avoid missing a night out when your adult children come to town, you have told them that you have important plans Saturday night that cannot be broken.

Before adult children come to visit, you scout their rooms to make sure their sheets are clean and there are no condoms or toys in the drawers from your last sleep over guests.

When you have young children at home, you dress in your car.  You think nothing of the trucks passing by when you are buck naked on the highway.

It is not uncommon for you to get dressed at home and wear a trench coat in the middle of summer to get out of the house.

In your home is a “secret” closet for your slut wear and hooker shoes.

When someone asks to see a picture that’s on your phone you hold the phone to show them.  You panic that they might scroll through some of the photos.

You have at least one screen name with some sexual  or provocative word in it.

There are nude photos of you somewhere.

You have lied to many friends about your where abouts on the weekend.

On more than one occassion, you have declined important vanilla social engagements to attend a swinger event.

Even though you are married, there is an ample supply of condoms in your home.

You have sex toys and lingerie and share both with your lifestyle friends.

It is not uncommon for you to tell women you love their breasts and ask if you can feel them.

Sometimes you see a couple and ask your partner if you have ever played with them.  (You can’t remember everyone!)

When you see an attractive couple, you point them out to your partner, even in vanilla settings.

You talk about the size of your partner’s penis, then your friends want to see it for themselves.

You would happily show your tattoos and piercings; even your clit ring.

When someone is talking about a Prince Albert you know it’s not a person.

You have to remember to pack a bathing suit when going to the beach with vanilla friends.

You tell your friends that you can’t see them this weekend because you have your period.

Inviting your lifestyle friends to your house requires no cooking.  They are not interested in eating…

You have had sleepovers with your friends.

If you go to the restroom with friends, you share a stall.

When out with vanilla friends, you have to make a conscious effort not to discuss sex.

Anytime you attend a vanilla party, you have to remind yourself that you cannot just strip off your clothing and jump into a pool.

You have discussed another man’s penis with your husband.

Your husband has told you that another woman is good in bed.

You’ve had some sexual contact with your best (lifestyle) friends.

You have to remember to keep your clothing on when on a vanilla vacation.

Did you shake your head in agreement more than twice?  Chances are you agreed to many of these.  If you did, congratulations!  You’re a swinger!

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry!  We’ve recently added some new and exciting pieces!  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

 

 

 

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Sex and aging; did I just meet a bunch of swingers in an assisted living facility?

Seniors laughing about sex wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

Is sex something only enjoyed by the young? Every swinger I know would say this is completely untrue.  Here I discovered how wrong this statement actually is. 

I recently went to visit a relative of mine who lives in an assisted living facility.  I’m sure you have seen one.  It houses mostly elderly people who live in their own apartments.  They generally eat their meals and spend their days downstairs in a common area.  Many people use walkers and many have oxygen tanks, which they push in front of them.  The concept is wonderful as it offers people a variety of daily activities to keep them busy and entertained.  

It was my first visit to this place and she gave me the grand tour.  She showed me the card room, the bowling alley, the shuffle board area, the movie theater, etc.  The place was quite impressive and I remarked how she must love all it has to offer.  Although she said she enjoys some activities, she mentioned that she really loves to swim more than anything else.  This place has a pool so it seemed logical that she would spend her time there.  When I asked if she swam often, she told me she does not.  Apparently there is an issue with the pool…

What she told me next I found a bit shocking.  Swimming would be wonderful if “Dave” were not always hanging around the pool.  It seems she and “Dave” had a brief fling in the past.  “For me it was just sex, but he was hoping for more.”  It is important to note that this woman is 92 and “Dave” is in his late 80s.  The conversation at this point turned to what really happens here at this facility. 

We generally do not think in terms of elderly people in sexual terms, but it seems that we are all mistaken.  At first I thought perhaps my great aunt was different.  I considered that maybe my high sex drive is genetically linked to this woman.  Evidently, sex amongst the residents of this complex is rampant.  As we walked into the dining room, my great aunt pointed to different people and gave me a brief synopsis of each person’s sexual past.  If what she was telling me was accurate, swinger’s should look forward to their futures!  They will no longer have to drive to a swing club at night!  This place was a 24 hour party!

Of course there was no hint of any gang bangs or threesomes, but she did point out one man who liked to fondle women without their permission.  When I asked if the administration has tolerance for this type of behavior she was quick to tell me no.  This man is on probation and will be asked to move if there are any more complaints against him.  

It seems there is quite a bit of activity that goes on at night behind closed apartment doors.  There are many established “couples” but there are also residents with a reputation for availability for an evening of fun.  Mind you, some of these people are in their mid nineties.  I did ask at one point if sex is still enjoyable and my aunt was quick to tell me yes.  It seems these gentlemen have access to Viagra (compliments of Medicare) and they are not shy to pop them into their mouths in full view during dinner time.  Night life here begins around 7:00, most like to be in bed by 10:00 pm.  

The second glass of wine they served with lunch gave me the nerve to ask about the act itself.  My aunt explained that sex changes simply because many people are not able to physically accomplish what they could do in the past.  Sex was more stimulating each other, intercourse was rare.  The younger men were very popular with the more sexually active older women simply because they could still have intercourse.  

I asked if she thought most of the residents were actually still having sex and my aunt could not answer.  She believes that this dining room was somewhat like high school all over again.  There were groups of friends, some more popular than others.  Some people always sat alone and the same groups always congregated to the same tables.  Her group was outgoing, flirtatious and drinking a lot of wine.  Some other tables acted similarly, but most seemed quiet and reserved.  Once you were a part of a “group,” you did not get to know the other residents very well.  If they were all doing what those in her group were doing, then yes, everyone was having sex.  

After lunch I said my goodbyes and left.  Who knew that a trip to this assisted living facility would uncover a twenty-first century Peyton’s Place?  Behind the doors of this seemingly innocent home for the elderly, is a community of residents craving the same physical attention as their younger counterparts.  What most of us see when we visit a place such as this are their walkers and oxygen tanks.  Most people don’t stop to consider that although their bodies have aged, their needs have not. 

What I wondered most when I left was whether the sex was a physical need or an emotional one.  Are elderly people craving the physical closeness of another or did they truly retain their sex drives?  From what I was told, it was simply a sexual desire.  It explained why my aunt does not want to swim any more.  She was not interested in a relationship, just still enjoyed the sex.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think my visit would turn into a lesson on sex and the elderly!

To be honest, when I thought about her group of friends at lunch, there was something familiar about their camaraderie.   Obviously, she does not know I am in the lifestyle but something told me that maybe she is too…

It left me wondering if perhaps I should be selling lifestyle jewelry to them.

The holidays are fast approaching!  Lifestyle jewelry makes a great gift for your lovers and friends!  It is a very popular host/hostess gift for private parties.  Click here to see the jewelry:

www.swingerjewelry.net

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Swinging is not cheating; understanding the difference.

Couple who swings, doesn't cheat. Wearing Parners ID jewelry
Couple who swings, doesn’t cheat. Wearing Parners ID jewelry

 

 

 

Swingers have a clear understanding of what swinging means and they definitely do not consider themselves cheaters.  The percentage of people in the lifestyle who cheat on their spouses is significantly lower than the percentage in the population at large.  Before we can talk about cheating, let’s discuss what the word really means.   According to dictionary.com a cheater is  a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds.    I do not see how swingers are guilty of this in any way as real swingers bring their partners with them when they actively swing.   In any group  of people, regardless of their sexual orientation, preferences, religions, politics, etc, you will find some ‘bad apples’, but as we know, we cannot judge an entire group of people based on a few misguided souls.

It is important to consider why someone in a committed relationship  might cheat on their spouse.   One reason someone might cheat is because they are not satisfied with the sex they are having with their partner.  It could be that the actual act itself is not what one person needs to feel fulfilled or perhaps it is not frequent enough.  Perhaps the cheater has met someone and is physically attracted to them.  Some people who have been married for a while feel the need to be attractive to someone else. Another scenario could be that the couple is not connecting and having problems; be it money, kids, whatever, and the result is lack of interest in having sex with each other.  Maybe the spouse has stopped taking care of themselves and is unappealing to their partner.  Whatever the case may be, the end result is that this person looks to have sex with someone else and keeps it a secret from their spouse or significant other.  This is cheating and ultimately will lead to a problem between the couple if it is discovered.

Let us now look at swinging.  Swinging is done with your partner.  The couple enters the lifestyle and chooses to seek out a sexual relationship with another couple or a single swinger.  It does not really matter why the couple has decided to do this, but rather the fact that it is done in plain view of each other.  There are no secrets or deceptions here.  If you watch a couple playing with another couple, you will usually see the spouses interacting with each other while they are playing with someone else.  A hand on their shoulder, a kiss, a helpful hand down there, whatever it is, you will see that this is something they are doing together.  That is very different from sneaking into a hotel room while your spouse is at work or with the kids to have sex with someone else.  Even when swingers decide to play separately, they do it with permission from their partner.

If you have a relationship like swingers do, why would you cheat?  It is very liberating to be so open and honest with your partner about everything you are doing, why would you bother doing this behind their back?  For most couples who swing, they have formed a very strong bond.  They are even more connected because they share a secret lifestyle that most choose not to expose to others in their lives.  This “secret” can be a strong glue for couples.

Let’s be honest, sex is exciting but often put on a back burner for married couples.  They have busy lives and are often too tired for sex.  They imagine it is mutual and so it can become as much of a routine to not have sex as it once was to have sex.  This can be a slippery slope in marriage as intimacy is a critical component to long lasting successful marriages.  Swingers have very active sex lives, but not every night out to a swing club results in playing with someone else.  Frequently, married swingers will play alone together if nothing else presents itself during that night, and both are usually perfect happy.

One of the big differences between couples in the lifestyle and those who are not is how open couples in the lifestyle are with each other.  When you take jealousy off the table, love can be limitless.  When someone has doubts or fears about their partner’s fidelity, it puts space between a couple.  If every time you see their sexy coworker or watch them come alive when an attractive waiter or waitress flirts with them and secretly wonder what they are thinking, it does not help your relationship.  This wondering casts a shadow on your relationship as it creates doubt and insecurity.   It is common, however,  for couples in the lifestyle to turn a blind eye to sexy coworkers and others because they know they can have what they want in the lifestyle.  They do not look for validation in everyday situations with attractive people because they do not need it.  Vanilla couples, rely on these interactions to gauge if people still find them attractive.

It is said that humans are not monogamous by nature and perhaps this is why it can be such a struggle for couples in long term relationships to remain faithful to one another.  It would seem that for this reason, the lifestyle can offer couples a way to remain together for the long haul.  Many couples are very happily married to their partner, except when it comes to sex.  Why break up a happy marriage when there are alternatives?  Obviously, swinging is not for everyone and people in the lifestyle know that.  Why then do people not accept the fact that monogamy is not for everyone?

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Our lifestyle keychain attracts a couple at a valet stand in Chicago!

Swinger with Partners ID lifestyle keychain

 

Hello Partners ID,

It is with great pleasure that we write to you to tell you about our very good luck with your swinger jewelry!  Here is our story:

Not long ago, my husband threw a surprise swinger party to celebrate my birthday.  Each person was asked to bring a swinger related gift to the party. It was a wonderful idea because it forced people to be creative.  The gifts ranged from dildos and lingerie to swinger jewelry.  Some were beautiful and some were very funny. The party reminded me of a baby shower where I sat and opened each gift.  Guessing who each gift was from was part of the fun.

Without a doubt, my favorite gifts were from Partners ID!  Three different gifts were from your company! One was a beautiful black purse, one a beautiful necklace and the third was a gold key chain with diamond crystals. Each of these gifts are special and I love them!

Not long after the party we went out to a very trendy restaurant with some vanilla friends. We valet parked our car and spent the evening dining and having fun with some long time friends of ours. After dinner was over, we went outside, said our goodbyes and waited for the valet to bring our car.

Upon entering the car we noticed there was a folded paper on the dashboard. Thinking the valet had left it there by mistake, we tried to hand it back to him.  He told us some friends of ours had asked him to leave the note in the car for us.

My husband and I looked at each other and I opened the note. It simply said, “We saw your keychain and asked the valet to leave you this note.” We are _____ from SDC.  This was such a wonderful surprise!  The note was so cleverly written so that the valet would never understand, but we knew right away! Luckily we are on SDC!

As soon as we arrived home, we rushed to the computer to look up their profile. We sent them a message and went to sleep.  The next morning, like kids on Christmas, we raced downstairs.  The computer was left open to SDC and we checked to see if they had responded. They had!

That was a few months ago and we have been out with them quite a few times. We never realized how clever the keychain was until this happened! I thought we would meet people simply because they would see me holding it! We now valet park more frequently than in the past!

Thank you for these wonderful times that we would never have shared with these people if it were not for the jewelry (and handbag that I love)!

Hugs and kisses from Chicago!
xox
Lori and Marc

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An honest blog from a unicorn; you may be surprised by this!

 

We asked unicorns to please help others in the lifestyle to understand (honestly) why they are in the lifestyle and what they are looking for.  Here is one very honest answer.  It might surprise some people to read!

For those of you who are not familiar with the term, a unicorn refers to a single woman who swings.  They are hard to find in the lifestyle but are a curiosity to many people.  People seem to always want to know what brings a single woman into the lifestyle.

Here is her story:

I was married for 6 years and for 3 of those years my husband and I were in the lifestyle. Although we were happily married, we parted ways because he got a job overseas.   I could not bear to move there and leave my family behind.  My parents were not in good health and I am an only child. We are still friendly and perhaps one day we will reunite.

This is how I became a unicorn. As I live fairly close to the swing club my husband and I used to frequent, it was natural for me to return after he left.  I spend at least one or two nights a week in the club. Many people at this club were friends with us as a couple  so it is easy for me to be there alone. I love to dance and for the small price I pay, I have a full buffet dinner and breakfast. Can’t beat that!

There are a few reason why I remained in the lifestyle.  First of all, it is something that has been a part of my life for the past 5 years. Three of them during my marriage, 1 of them as part of a couple and now for this passed year, alone.

What am I looking for? First of all, as I mentioned, I like to dance. If I am being totally honest, sure, I hope to meet a man. Do I want to break up a marriage? No, of course not, but if the marriage is not stable to begin with, I have no control over that. There are married men who ask for my number and express an interest in seeing me outside of the club. It is palpable how many of you are waiting for me to respond absolutely not, I would never do that, but that would not be the truth.

The truth is I sometimes give out my number, it totally depends on the man and his situation. You can see which couples are connected when you are in a swing club. Some are clearly together but they do not really have a relationship. I know some women reading this will accuse me of creating a problem between a couple but the way I see it, it is the husband who is creating the problem. If he wasn’t with me, he would be with someone else. He is the one who is not being faithful.

I have no real interest in being “the other woman”. In the lifestyle, I am so desirable to couples and singles that if I accepted every offer for every party, event, sleepover, you name it, I would be busy 7 nights a week. It is a lot of fun to be the center of attention. I know when I am dancing, all male eyes are on me. Not because I am the most attractive woman, but because I am available and there is no puzzle to solve with matching spouses to each other.

You asked for honesty and I am trying to be completely honest. I am really looking to find someone to be in a relationship with and that is why I am in the lifestyle. Couples sometimes invite me for private weekends and If I am available, I go. Why not? It’s a free vacation and a chance for me to get to know the man more intimately. If his wife knows she can’t trust him, why does she go along with it? If she doesn’t realize what he is really looking for, the question is why doesn’t she know?

Although I do play with both men and women, I am not really bisexual. I go along because as a unicorn this is required. If I were to say I only play with men, I would not be so popular! There are a few other unicorns that frequent this swing club and we all try to be friendly with each other. We establish our territory in terms of who we prefer to end up with at the end of the night. For the most part, unicorns try to respect each other. We often dance together because that too, attracts a lot of attention.

I am not a bad person, just a bit lonely. I am looking for love just like anybody else. Going to a bar or a regular club feels less safe to me. Taking strange men home is always a risk and one that I prefer not to take. The swing club that I go to is on premise, which allows me to play there and go home alone (although, not always alone). I have met single men in the club but for some reason they seem a little bit less safe to me. It seems many of them are married as well.
Hopefully soon, I will meet a man and will no longer be a unicorn!  Although many will deny it, I think most unicorns feel the same way!

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