Women in the lifestyle, what do they gain from swinging?

Couple in lifestyle wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

What brings women into the lifestyle?

For women who are not in the lifestyle, it is common for them to believe that women are not really in the lifestyle on their own accord.  Most vanilla women tend to think women are being pushed into this by their partners.  This wild life of sex can only be something that appeals to men.

Is this true?  Are women only in the lifestyle to make their significant others happy?  The best way to find out what is fact and what is fiction is to see for one’s self.

While the swinging lifestyle conjures up images of orgies and gang bangs, it really is so much more than that.  It is a lifestyle of friendship and acceptance.  It is a wold of open minded adults coming together for a common good.

What do women gain from the lifestyle? 

The first thing that comes to mind is confidence.  The lifestyle is not only about you and your partner as a couple, it is also about you as an individual.

Let’s be honest, it is not easy growing up female.  Most women would agree that we are held to a much higher standard than men.  First, we are expected to be perfect.  Not only the way that we look and dress but the way that we act.  This is something that begins when we are very young.  Unfortunately the standards don’t really change as we age.  

To begin with, young girls are constantly seeing images of  beautiful women in magazines and on tv.  These ideals are things that girls grow up believing to be of utmost importance.  If having a perfect  body, hair, makeup and clothing is not a must, why are those predominantly the images we see.  

Women have been calling for change for at least the past several decades and although we have made many strides, we are still falling short.  

If you google “Top Female Celebrities 2018” you will see what I’m referring to.  The first 15 names to appear on that list:

Jennifer Lawrence

Scarlett Johansson

Selena Gomez

Natalie Portman

Mila Kunis

Emma Watson

Emma Stone

Ariana Grande

Nina Dobrev

Megan Fox

Blake Lively

Beyonce

Rhianna

Charlize Theron

Jessica Alba

There were still two more women before I even got to Angelina Jolie.  Imagine, this is the list and I did not even query attractive or hot in my search.  Imagine if I had…

So here are the top female celebrities from 2018. These are the faces and bodies that little girls are growing up comparing themselves to.  It is easy to see why women are so critical of their own looks. 

The other standard that only seems to apply to women is with regard to sex.  When men sleep around they are studs, when women do it they are whores.  Why the double standard?

 Enter the lifestyle…

Before entering the lifestyle, I imagined every woman would be a perfect 10.  The thought of competing with such beautiful women for the attention of men seemed daunting.  It was reminiscent of high school and made me very nervous.  

Our first night to a swing club proved me wrong.  The variety of women that were in the club was a huge surprise.  Some old, some young, some thin, some over weight, some tall, some short, etc.  Many women were wearing sexy dresses, many wore jeans and sandals.   There was definitely no predominant “type” of woman.

It did not take long to discover that women in the club were sexy for a whole different reason than the size of their body parts.  I also discovered that women in the lifestyle were applauded and held in high regard for their sexuality.  Suddenly, the double standard was gone.  Women who had spent their lives hiding their desire to explore sex and their sexuality were applauded.

The lifestyle empowers women.  It allows them the freedom of expression in every way possible. No more judgment about either their size or their sexual appetite.  

The lifestyle proves to women that regardless of their appearance, others will find them attractive.  Some people like bigger women, some like smaller, just like women all have different ideas of what makes a man or another woman attractive.

Women have a lot of power in the lifestyle and it spills into their real lives as well.  The lifestyle gives a voice to women.  Women soon discover that they are not there to please their partners but rather to please themselves.  The lifestyle teaches women to love their bodies.  Many lifestyle venues are a mixture of nudists and swingers, both who seem confident in their naked bodies.  This is a beautiful thing.

The bottom line?  What women gain from swinging is more than just fabulous sex.  It allows them the freedom to be who they are and to feel good about it.  

Check out our lifestyle jewelry! Makes it easy to spot and meet other swingers! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/  

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Time Magazine claims “We Are Having So Little Sex,” I beg to differ…

Couple having sex wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry
In the back room of a swing club this past weekend, my husband and I squeezed into a very small spot on a mattress.  Not because the surrounding couples were of interest, but simply because it was the only free spot we could find. 

 I couldn’t help but wonder if the back room could be any more crowded.  Couples were everywhere, using every available space they could find.  Many couples simply played standing up, a few occasionally backing into an emergency exit and setting off the fire alarm door.  

This particular Saturday was not even a special night at the club.  SDC, Kasidie, SLS and Quiver tend to bring big crowds, but they were not in the house.  It was not New Years or Halloween.  It was just another Saturday night at Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale.

It seemed ironic to me because that same day I had come across an article in Time Magazine titled, “Why Are We All Having So Little Sex?”*

Clearly, the word all, does not include swingers.  We are not only having sex, it is standing room only!

Perhaps, once again, swingers are making a good argument for their decision to engage in consensual non-monogamy.  Sex, the way swingers are having it, is not boring or routine.  It is not an obligation, nor is it a game of wait and see who initiates.

Swingers are out of the house when they are looking to play and that might be one of the most important details.  Swing clubs promote sex as dessert.  People come in to eat dinner, have drinks, dance and finally head into the play area.  

Maybe one of the key aspects of swing clubs is that sex is not at home.  It is almost like checking into a hotel.  Even couples who have fallen into a rut at home are more likely to have sex in a hotel.  The scenery is different and there are less distractions.  Most importantly, the kids are not there.  

Couples make sure to clean up and dress smart.  Women want to be sexy and men want to look hot.  The whole process of getting ready is a part of the allure.  

At a swing club, sex is on the menu.  You can have it if you choose, if not, that’s ok too.  The temptation, like chocolate cake, is that it is available.  Right behind the closed doors is an oasis of naked bodies looking for some fun.  Just like the cake, maybe you will have just have a little taste or maybe, you’ll have it all!  

The point is, swingers have not let the ball drop on an important aspect of both their relationship with their significant other and their general well being.  Sex is good for you.  It is exercise, there’s no calories, no chemicals and they can’t do it with their smart phone or computer.  It is good old fashioned face to face (if that’s how you like it) contact with another person.  

You don’t hear couples in a swing club discussing whether or not they feel like having sex tonight.  What you might hear is with whom they would like to have sex.

Perhaps one of the issues regarding sex and long term relationships is not simply the routine of sex but the lack of desire you see from your partner.  The beginning of many relationships is marked by lust. You simply can’t get enough of your partner and they can’t get enough of you.  Sex is incredible and you want it constantly.  

When couples move in together the insatiable desire tends to wane.  We do everything we can to keep the flame burning but over time, life seems to get in the way.  You let your hair down and your partner does not always see you at your best.  

You might try new things in the bedroom but after a while, you run out of new things to try.  And let’s face it, although you love your partner, the excitement eventually dulls.

This is where swingers have it figured out.  If we swap partners, we all win.  Everyone gets to be with someone new and exciting.  The women and men are dressed to impress.  They are hoping to attract a new person to play with but at the same time, your partner is noticing you in a new way as well!

I remember the first night my husband and I decided to go to a swing club.   He looked amazing and I was wearing something way sexier than I had worn in years.  We barely made it to the club because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the car.  

When couples break out of their routine and try something to ignite their sex lives, they might be surprised at the result.  Couples don’t swing because they no longer love their partners, it is the opposite.  They want to find that spark again.  Feeling beautiful, sexy and desirable is important for both men and women.  Swinging is a great way to reestablish those feelings. 

For many couples, swinging sounds like a bad idea.  They worry that their significant other will find someone new.  It is a common fear for newbies but this is not usually the case.  When couples enter the lifestyle properly and with the right intention, this is very uncommon. 

The real problem is for couples who are not having sex.  Even as we age and find ourselves in committed relationships, we are still human.  Humans are sexual beings and naturally crave sex.   

What happens when couples who no longer have sex are still looking for that validation that others find them attractive or desirable?  This can be a slippery slope.  Looking for validation in the wrong environment can lead to trouble.  This type of behavior often leads to cheating.

The take away?  It is natural for sex to become less exciting in a long term relationship but it is not natural to stop having sex. When I read the article asking, “Why are we having so little sex,” I am quite sure I said, “Not me” out loud.  

If you love your partner and are simply looking to spice things up between the two of you, swinging might be for you!  

*http://time.com/5297145/is-sex-dead/

Spotting other swingers is easy when you wear lifestyle jewelry.  See the collection here::  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Maybe your neighbors are swingers and you just don’t know!

Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

This is an email we received from one of our customers, which was printed with permission.

My wife and I bought your jewelry while visiting a club in Canada about a year ago.  We wear it mostly when we go out nights when we are hoping to meet other swingers.  Although people have complimented us on the jewelry, no one has ever asked what it means.

We went to a friend’s birthday party at a big club recently and thinking ‘you never know,’ we both wore our jewelry.  We partied late into the night and with the long drive, arrived home much later than usual. 

As usual, as soon as we walked into the house, my wife put the leash on our dog and went outside to walk her.   She was surprised when our neighbors from down the street turned into their driveway.  It was almost 4 o’clock in the morning!

She walked toward their house because there is an empty lot next door and that is where everyone walks their dogs.  A few minutes later, the male neighbor came walking toward her with his little dog in tow.  As it was just the two of them, they said hello and made small talk about the dogs.  

The neighbor mentioned that he often walked his dog late at night but had never bumped into anyone.  My wife told him we had just returned from a party that was a good distance away.  The neighbor was acting a little strange and she could not figure out why.  

He told her that they often stay out this late because they spend their weekends at a club that is open until 4 am.  Then he smiled at her and said, “You and her husband would like this club.  If you decide to check it out, wear your necklace.”

At this point I was concerned that she was still outside and went to check on her.  As I walked up the street I was surprised to see her talking to one of our neighbors.  We do not know most of our neighbors and although I know where this man lives, we have never spoken with him or his wife.

As I got closer to them, I was relieved to hear her laughing.   I was about to turn and walk back home when she called me over.  

My wife introduced me to our neighbor and told me that they were discussing her necklace.  I was afraid to say anything as I didn’t know what she told him.  He immediately relayed the information about the swing club he and his wife visit every weekend.  The neighbor said his wife has a pair of earrings with the pendant and he knows what it means.

We have been living on the same street for 5 years and had never spoken with them before.  Next weekend they are picking us up at 8:30 and we are going to a swing club with them.  Does it get any better than this?

I have to be honest, that after wearing the jewelry for almost a year, we weren’t sure that we would ever meet people.  Now we have not only made contact because of the jewelry, but discovered our neighbors are swingers too!   This has become such an incredibly fun situation for us all!  

I did meet his wife that night and we had a drink at 4 in the morning with them.  We left it at that for now, with the hope of this becoming more in the future.  

This has added so much excitement to our lives!  I look forward to this weekend and many more!

I just wanted to tell you our story and thank you!

R & M

Spring Hill, TN

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Rejection in the lifestyle; what’s the best way to say thanks but no thanks?


Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Rejection is never pretty. 

Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly.  It is hurtful and often feels personal.  

For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point,  either as the rejector or the rejectee.  First of all, this is normal.  Everyone will not like everyone else, but figuring out how to let them know is never easy.

Swinging is a lot like dating.  

At times we have an attraction to someone and that attraction is not returned.  We want someone to like us but they do not.  When we are talking about dating, it is fairly straightforward.  One person must like one person.  In swinging, this is much more complicated.

Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples is much more difficult.   

Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie,  Airtight, SLS, Quiver, etc., to find other swingers.  They scan their pictures and read profiles in the hopes of finding like minded and attractive couples to meet.  

The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest.  The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos.  If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile.  

If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email.  

What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest?  

Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it.  Obviously you will realize they are not interested right?

This way of handling an email of no interest is called “ghosting”.   Some couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest.  Other couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. 

How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings?

Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings?  It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain.  Often times couples say they simply reply:  “We are not a match.”  Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align.   This truly is the kindest possible response.  No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know.

Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest

Honesty is the best policy, right?  Here I have to disagree.  There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender.  No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic.  There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful.

If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out.   Although you have a good reason to reject them, there are ways to say things without being mean.

What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person?

Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard.  What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest?  If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away.  You make an excuse about going to the restroom or to dance.  When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand.  If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples will hopefully be enough.  

If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know.  For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way.  

It becomes more complicated when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails.  It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee.  If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal.  

When your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated.  You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan.  A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling.  If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know.  The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible.  This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there.  

What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer?

Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone.  If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy.  When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation.  

We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour.  In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs.  While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention.  Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating.  Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. 

 In person, it becomes a bit more difficult.  Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem.  If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them.  Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior.  

Bottom line?

Without a doubt, at some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you.  Although you may be tempted, do not take it personally, simply move on.  

Valentine’s Day is only a few weeks away! Check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Uninhibited: Perhaps this should be the word to replace swinger.

Uninhibited woman wearing Partners ID jewelry
Uninhibited woman wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uninhibited? Perhaps this is the term we should use to replace the word swinger.

We have spoken before about how the term ‘swinger’ is outdated.  Today, the word swinger  has a negative  connotation which dates back to the 1970s. Swingers are no longer a part of the key club culture and they also gave up their huckapoo shirts and nylon slacks decades ago. The word swinger seems to conjure up an image of older folks groping each other and partaking in massive, hairy orgies. It is for this reason, that finding a new word to replace the word “swinger” seems necessary.

The term open-minded has been suggested and we have discussed this as well. It seems like a good option but today we would like to consider the word “uninhibited.”

The word uninhibited, according to the free dictionary means the following:

uninhibited
adjective
1. not inhibited or restricted; unhampered.
2. not restrained by or mindful of social convention or usage; free; candid or spontaneous.

When a friend suggested this term I thought, bingo! This is exactly the word I would use to describe swingers. Although many vanilla people think swingers are wild, reckless and depraved, the word uninhibited exudes a much clearer image of who swingers really are.

Swingers are the first to argue that they are, for the most part, no different from anyone else. The central difference between swingers and their vanilla friends is their desire to enjoy sex with more than one person.

Swingers have the ability to let loose and experiment sexually with other people in ways we have always been taught were wrong. We either learned this from our parents or our religion. Sex was intended to take place only between a married couple. Not between two women, not between two men and certainly not with a multitude of partners. We grew up learning to be modest and to cover up our bodies (especially women).

While these teachings were consistent with generations of the past, with the decline of religion over the past decade or so, and with the Baby Boomers now parents and grandparents, we have seen a shift in many people’s moral compass. People are more open to new ideas and beliefs, which has in turn led people to a more open-minded way of thinking.

Interestingly enough, even with the more relaxed attitudes we see today, swingers remain outcasts. It has become both common and acceptable to reveal to friends, family and coworkers your sexual orientation as well as your gender identity, but it is still not acceptable to be a swinger.

If society refuses to accept swingers, perhaps the best course of action is to change the word associated with swinging. In order to change the mind set, the most logical thing to do is to change the word. Take for example the word stripper. We no longer refer to women as strippers. Exotic dancer has become the new term. The name is chic and no longer elicits an image of vaudeville days with trashy women wearing tassels on their breasts. The term exotic dancer, although it means exactly the same thing as stripper, paints a much more palatable image of a beautiful woman dancing in a club.

As swingers, if we were to change the terminology to simply say that we are uninhibited adults, this would erase the image of bunch of old, out of shape people engrossed in an orgy. For vanilla people, the term will imply little more than an individual who is open to new thoughts and ideas.  People who are uninhibited are not prudish or uptight. If peopleare truly uninhibited, they would be open to the notion of swinging but may or may not partake. This would allow us the freedom to let the world know that we are unconventional or free thinking.  It does not say anything about us sexually. It simply invites open conversations between adults who are uninhibited like ourselves.

Swingers must take the initiative to help change the stigma attached to living this lifestyle. Acknowledging to others that you are uninhibited gives away little about your lifestyle. I truly believe that if the word swinger was abolished, many people who are actually swinging, although they claim that is not what they are doing, would readily admit that they are uninhibited.  This would help build the community while at the same time helping swingers to be accepted for their lifestyle choices.  After all, telling people that you are uninhibited does not really tell them precisely what you are doing.

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Why is it so hard for the vanilla community to accept swingers?

It can be very frustrating to be a swinger.  Those of us who are in the lifestyle love it, but we go to great lengths to hide it from friends and family.   The vanilla world seems unable to understand why people are actually swingers.  Even if you try to explain it them, most are very close minded about the entire lifestyle. 

Why do you suppose people are so turned off by the whole concept?  Is it their upbringing?  Religion?  It just seems unnatural?  How much do others really even know or understand about swinging?

Perhaps they are afraid of what they do not understand. It makes sense that people who are not in the lifestyle would think swingers are crazy.  We allow our significant other to have sex with other people.  We allow them!  What if they like sex with the other person more than they like sex with us?  In my mind, when I hear vanilla people talking negatively about swingers, this is what I think they are worried about.

It is very possible that your partner will love having sex with another person.  That is ok and will not threaten your relationship.  Generally when we discover something that excites us about a new lover, we try to incorporate that into our own love making.  I should note, you have sex with other swingers, you make love with your partner.  There is a big difference. (This might not apply to every swinger, but it applies to most.)

Many people become very possessive in their relationships.  How many times have you heard women complain that their husband is checking out an attractive woman?  They become annoyed; they feel it is rude.  The same applies to women looking at other men.  It is natural to notice an attractive person and it really does not mean you don’t love your partner.  This simply makes you human.  

Getting married or being in a committed relationship does not stop us from being sexual beings.   It provides us with a partner with whom you can  share your life.  Someone with whom to raise a family.  A person to be by your side through thick and thin.   This is the person with whom you should have sex on a regular basis. 

Being married or committed to another does not mean that you will cease noticing attractive people.  That never changes.  Humans will always fantasize about people they see or meet but it does not change the way you feel about your partner.  Noticing a hot guy does not mean you want to share your life with them.  Checking out a woman with a beautiful body in no way indicates your husband is leaving you to chase after her.

The lifestyle brings people together who do love their partner, but also love to have sex.  Most of these couples are looking for variety.  They are seeking out a way to spice up their sex lives together.  What sets them apart from other couples is that they take this step together.  Rather than one person, or both, sneaking out behind the other’s back, they discuss what is missing and try to find a solution as a couple.  The rewards for handling it this way are immense.

Having an open relationship takes away the need to cheat.  When couples are open and honest it enhances their relationship.  There are no lies or deceptions.

Couples in the lifestyle rediscover the thrill of the hunt.  As a couple, they go out and meet other couples together for sex.   Imagine discussing with your significant other which person appeals to you and to them.  We maintain our relationship with our significant other while exploring our sexuality with others who are also open minded. What a great concept!  

The ability to be this open with your partner is amazing;  no more secret lusting or hiding our attraction to others.   Imagine discussing the experience after the fact while wrapped in each others arms.  Giggling like children about the mishaps that occur from time to time.  It probably surprises vanilla people when they hear that swinging brings you closer to your partner.  The honesty is very liberating and creates a bond that is incredibly strong.

Perhaps those who are quick to  put the lifestyle down should try to understand the concept.  Although we might not choose to live the way that vanilla couples do, we are not judging them.  We have also tried their way and decided it doesn’t fulfill us.  Hopefully in the future, people will stop judging what they do not understand.  We do not need their approval to live our lives in a way we seem fit, but it would be nice if we did not have to live so secretly!

Be sure to check out our new pieces of jewelry:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

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Swingers: Why is it a secret that you are in the lifestyle?

 

Woman hiding under a hat wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

Here it is, the year 2019!  Happy New Year!

It is normal to end one year and to begin a new one with some self reflection.  What you accomplished, what you did not, and to think ahead to the upcoming year.  Perhaps some of you make new years resolutions.  Whatever the case, it is normal to think about life during this time.

What are you hoping for this new year?

What do you hope this new year will bring?  Obviously, we all want world peace and good health.  Many wish for prosperity and other such things.  This is normal.  While I too, wish for these things, I also find myself continually asking myself about the things that never seem to change.  Sure, politics come to mind but that is another subject entirely.  For me, I cannot help but wonder why swinging is still seen as something taboo.  What on earth are we so ashamed of?

Are people still afraid to let others know that they are in the lifestyle?

Why do swingers feel the need to keep their lifestyle a secret?  I frequently hear swingers say that nobody knows that they are in the lifestyle.  They would die if someone found out.   Why is that?  What do people think when they hear someone they know is a swinger?  It reminds me of the time before I had ever had sex.   I couldn’t imagine how you could face the person you had sex with afterwards.  What would they think after they had seen you in such a compromising way?  How would others see you? Obviously I discovered that these fears were unfounded.  Nobody seemed to look at me any differently, and facing the guy who I was with was no problem.  So what is it that makes us fear discovery?

 What is it that swingers fear about exposure?

Curiousity got the best of me and so I started to ask swingers.  I asked a group of swingers if they are very religious, but they are not.  I wondered if their children were at an age that it would create confusion and uncertainty, but they are not.  Do they think they are doing something criminal or unethical?  They do not.  Hmm.  Would exposure embarrass them?   This question got a nod.   Embarrassed? Why?  In truth, swingers are doing something that most people wish they could do.  They have sex with others and it doesn’t destroy their marriage.  Why?  Because two consenting adults have agreed to enter into this together.  There are no lies or secrets.

Would friends and family alienate you if they found out you were having an affair?

Admitting that you are a swinger should be a lot less traumatic than admitting you are having an affair, no?  After all, one is cheating and lying to someone you say you are in love with, the other is not.  Cheaters sneak around, worrying that they will be caught.   Getting caught would disrupt their lives and the lives of those around them.  Swingers, on the other hand, are out having a great time together.  They are out enjoying parties and events with their significant other.  This is something that others only dream of.

I wonder how many swingers are truly living this lifestyle unbeknownst to their friends and family.  Probably not nearly as many as believe they are.  Often times I watch swingers arrive at a club clad in an over sized trench coat in the middle of the summer.  When I ask these women if their family or neighbors don’t find this strange they say they don’t think so.  Really?  It’s 90 degrees outside and you leave your house or condo wearing a trench coat cinched at the waste with stiletto heels and nobody thinks that’s odd?

What happens to couples who come clean about the lifestyle?

Many swingers have said that when they finally decided to disclose to friends and family that they were swingers, many were not surprised.  Many said they had known about it for years but understood the swinger couple wanted to keep it to themselves.  (If these were the trench coat women, it’s no wonder people knew.)

What about the family and friends who did not suspect this person or couple was in the lifestyle?  What was their reaction?  Were they shocked and appalled?  Not according to the people I have spoken with.  Most said that more than anything, they were curious about swinging.  They asked a lot of questions but did not seem to have a negative reaction.  Many couples said that both friends and many family members (mostly siblings), eventually asked if they could tag along one night to see what it was all about.

Stop apologizing for your lifestyle choices; it’s your life and your decision to make.

Like any other group, in order to gain acceptance, we must learn to stand up for what we believe in.  Swingers should not be ashamed of their lifestyle.  Obviously it is not necessary to divulge what you do when you are at a swing club, or party or other event.  Most people do not give blow by blow (pun intended) details to others about what they do in their bedrooms.  No need to reveal that you participated in a gang bang with 15+ men last Saturday. Nobody needs to know that you tried double penetration for the first time and loved it.  Many swingers don’t swap, and many people in the lifestyle are not swingers.  Enjoying the warm atmosphere that accompanies the lifestyle is a wonderful thing and people should not have to hide from it.

Why do people find it acceptable to learn that many famous couples are swingers?  Why are they held to a different standard than the rest of us.  Because they are famous?   Some are highly influential people and they do not deny that they are swingers.  Famous people frequently answer questions about their lifestyle and seem quite comfortable doing so.

What does wearing lifestyle jewelry actually say about you?

Wearing our jewelry means that you are open minded.  If you think about it, being a part of the lifestyle really doesn’t mean more than that.   If your children or parents told you the same thing, would it concern you?  Although it might surprise you, you would  be happy to see them happy.

When we initially came up with the concept for the jewelry, we had just this vision in mind.  Wear the jewelry with pride.  First of all, others do not know what it means.  Secondly, even if they did, what does it really say about you?  It says that you are an open minded person.

Let’s continue the movement to unite the lifestyle.  People in the lifestyle could really teach others a lot about relationships.  Honesty, respect and fun are the three hallmarks of the lifestyle.  What could be better than that?

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/page/2/

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ASN Lifestyle Magazine has arrived and Michael Ramos reigns supreme!

ASN Lifestyle Magazine cover wearing Partners ID jewelry
Michael Ramos, publisher of ASN Lifestyle Magazine

 

Not a day goes by that we are not contacted via our online chat for lifestyle advice.  Although Partners ID sells lifestyle jewelry, it seems people are hungry for information regarding the lifestyle. At first, our operator explained her purpose, now she simply redirects them to ASN Lifestyle Magazine.

Although shy to admit this, people are hungry for sex.  They want to see it, read about it and mostly, engage in it.  Remember sneaking peeks at Playboy and later at Penthouse magazines? These publications seemed so racy, so edgy!  Now ASN is giving these publications a run for their money!

Although ASN is new to the game, they have been gathering steam at an alarmingly rapid rate.  They are strictly a digital publication, yet have gained an incredible amount of notoriety in a very short period of time. 

Playboy was the first magazine to arrive on the scene in December of 1953.  It was very controversial when it was first published due to the naked centerfolds.  The majority of women featured were famous actresses and models. 

The magazine was a pioneer in its liberal outlook but often included interviews with conservative political and other famous figures.  Men claimed they were mostly interested in this magazine because of the articles.  While the magazine is certainly a worthwhile publication, it seems geared primarily towards men.  The use of models and actresses is strictly to sell the magazine.  They might be picture perfect, but it doesn’t feel as though they are genuinely sexual.  

Penthouse took this type of magazine to the next level.  Rather than concerning themselves with upholding a conservative feel, they pushed the limits and created a soft porn magazine.  Again, this magazine hired models and porn stars to pose in sexually explicit poses.  Over the years, they have become a hard core porn magazine.  Penthouse routinely hires professional writers for article content.  The advertisers are not exclusively involved in the porn industry.

What sets ASN Lifestyle Magazine apart from every other publication is its authenticity.  The photos are not of models and actresses but rather of people who are actually in the lifestyle.  Nobody is simulating anything.  What you see is what it is.  This is the lifestyle.  When you see anything sexual, it is between consenting, loving adults, not paid actors and models.  

The sexual content is natural and beautiful.  It represents the love and eroticism that define the swinger lifestyle.

The blogs and articles are written by people who are in the lifestyle and are speaking from personal experience.  They are offering advice and giving outsiders a peek into what swingers are truly about.  

Both men and women will find things that they identify with between the covers of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.  It is not geared toward a male or female audience.  It is strictly a magazine devoted to those who are interested in a swinger lifestyle.

Even the advertising is geared towards the lifestyle.  You don’t see car ads or advertising for random products.  Everything is designed to attract people who are a part of the lifestyle.

What started out as a good idea has blossomed overnight into something most swingers look forward to every other month.  This magazine is packed with everything a swinger might need.  There are advice columns, etiquette information, vacation ideas, swing club exposés, even lube recommendations.  ASN Lifestyle Magazine includes all aspects of the swinger lifestyle in each publication.  No political commentaries or controversial topics that do not involve the lifestyle.

When was the last time you encountered any magazine that was this laser focused?  

Bottom line, if you are in the lifestyle, or looking to enter the lifestyle, ASN Lifestyle magazine is a must read.  If there is something missing, trust me, the editor would like to know so it can be included in the future.

Find ASN Lifestyle Magazine here:  http://www.asnlifestylemagazine.com/asn-lifestyle

Check out our new lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

We are currently taking custom orders for Valentine’s Day!

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A New Year’s Eve story that almost didn’t have a happy ending.

New Year's eve couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

My wife’s favorite night of the year happens to be New Year’s Eve.  She loves shopping for a special dress, getting her hair done and spending the night at her favorite swing club.

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for a long time (almost 20 years).  Our social life is limited to swing clubs and private parties, meet and greets and Sunday fundays.  We vacation at Desire and try to catch at least one lifestyle cruise every year.  Yes, we are hard core but this is our life and we love it.

We spend every Christmas in South Florida visiting my parents.   We discovered Trapeze about 10 years ago and have been going there every New Year’s Eve since discovering this club.  This year was to be no exception.  

We arrived in Florida for Christmas Eve and settled in for our 2 week stay.  Everything was great until we got a phone call early December 31 from her mother.  Her dad was admitted to the hospital with chest pains and they believed he had suffered a heart attack.

We soon boarded a plane and headed to Connecticut to see her dad.  Our only thought at this point was her dad and his health.

Long story short, we arrived at the hospital and her dad was resting comfortably.  He had not had a heart attack but did require a stent to prevent one.  He was fine and would be released the next morning.  We drove her mom home and she wanted nothing more than to sleep.

So here it is New Year’s Eve, in Connecticut, and we have no place to go.  Since my wife did not actually grow up in Connecticut, she is not familiar with the night life.  It was getting late so we decided to at least try to find a restaurant where we could enjoy a nice dinner.  

Not far from where her parents live is a tavern that advertised live music and dancing.  At least it was something!  The bar was lively with groups of people out to celebrate New Years Eve.  They had a large screen tv set up to watch the ball drop in Times Square.  My wife and I were anxious to relax and enjoy the evening and ordered some drinks.  Luckily we were seated at a table quickly and were able to get some food.  

After we finished eating we were happy to join the party goers out on the dance floor.  We had about 30 minutes before midnight and spent the entire time dancing.  

Our attention turned to the dj as he counted down the remaining 10 seconds of 2018.  As he screamed happy new year at exactly midnight, I turned to kiss my wife.  Just as we kissed, a couple appeared next to us, telling us they were next.  I was totally caught off guard when this attractive woman started kissing me right on the mouth.  As I turned to look at my wife, she and the man were deep into a french kiss of their own. 

I took a step backward to try to see if we knew this couple.  The woman reached over and tugged at my necklace.  “We have these too,” she said, which made me smile right away.   We spent the rest of the night with this couple and that is how new years was saved!  Obviously we are so grateful that we wear this lifestyle jewelry because without it, we would have not have met them.  It was a wonderful and memorable evening!

Happy New Year to everyone!

Cheers!

Alex and Anna

Ashburn, VA

Remember to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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A woman discovers her close friends are swingers when she wears our necklace.

 

Friends in a park wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

Dear Partners ID,

My name is Katie and I have a story for those swingers who are not wearing your jewelry.

My husband and I were at a swing club one night and your jewelry was being sold. I looked at it and loved it but my husband didn’t see why we would need it. I let it go but couldn’t stop thinking about it. Many people in the club were wearing it and quite honestly, I couldn’t help but think that it made a lot of sense. It is beautiful and so simple to recognize, why not wear it and see what comes of it?

We flew back the next day but before we left the club the night before, I grabbed one of your cards. When we got home I went onto your website and ordered a necklace. Unfortunately the one I had seen in the club was no longer available.

When it arrived I put it on and pretty much forgot about it. One day I was at the dog park with my dog and I saw a couple that we have been friendly with for a few years. I walked over to talk to them and as I was admiring how incredibly handsome the man was, his wife (my friend) asks me to just kiss him already. I turned to look at her and she had a smile on her face. She nods to me and when I turn to look at him he grabs me and kisses me. I was in total shock and my initial thought was that this must be a dream. As I stood with my mouth open she reached into his t shirt and pulls out his necklace! After all these years! We wasted so many nights with them when we could have been playing!

Needless to say, this was the beginning a very exciting relationship. Our date nights with this couple have changed from small talk over dinner and maybe a movie, to swing clubs and private parties in their home.

Without this necklace, I would never have known that our friends were also swingers! We have since ordered a bracelet for my husband, as he is now a believer!

Thanks for letting me share my story!

Katie

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