How wearing our lifestyle necklace made friends out of complete strangers.

Swinger friends wearing Partners ID necklaces

 

 

Hi Partners ID,

The moment we discovered lifestyle jewelry existed, we knew we had to have it.  We discovered your jewelry during a trip to Fun for Two, a swing club in Holland.  Another couple was wearing it and telling some people all about it. As soon as we returned from our trip, we ordered two necklaces.

I think it was my second day wearing the necklace that this happened. During my lunch break from work, I always make a deposit at the bank and stop at the post office.  As I was walking into the post office the person who was exiting came through the entry door and bumped into me.  The mail I was carrying fell to the ground.   The two of us bent down to retrieve the mail from the floor at the same time.  He apologized profusely and then gave me a funny smile.  I thought perhaps I knew him but he did not look familiar.  

As we stood up he commented on my necklace.  He told me he has the same one and then explained that he was in a rush to get back to work.  His hand extended with a business card in it and he asked me to be in touch.  “Yes, I am married,” he called to me as he briskly walked off.

It happened so fast I could barely believe it!  Over dinner that evening, my husband and I discussed it and he was curious.  When it comes to the lifestyle, he has always been the contact person and so I handed the card to him.  He phoned the number, and after speaking for quite a while,  the men made plans for us all to get together.  

That was a few months ago and we have seen them almost every weekend since that day!  If it can happen to me, it can happen to everyone.  

Thanks, we love our jewelry!

Tristin and Emil

Toronto, Ca

To see our line of lifestyle jewelry, click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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A visit to a swing club might be just what your marriage needs!

Woman talking about swing club wearing Partners ID jewelry

When a friend confides that her sex life has diminished, would you suggest visiting a swing club?  I did…

A friend recently confided in me that her sex life has become pretty non existent.  After years of great sex, it no longer exists.  She wondered aloud if he no longer found her attractive.  There was no concern of another woman, they were very happily married.  I asked if perhaps it was a hormonal problem and she said she did not believe that was it.

So what’s happening?  My friend is very attractive and takes good care of herself.  She has a great figure and wears form fitting clothing to show it off.  I decided since she was coming to me for advice, I would take a chance.

“A few years ago, my husband and I were in a sexual rut,” I explained.  “Sex had become routine.  We decided to try toys, watch porn and role play.  Although it was exciting for a while, we found ourselves looking for something more.  My husband suggested a strip club and this was also exciting at first, but soon we were bored.  It was during a night at a strip club that one of the dancers suggested we try a swing club.”

I held my breath and waited for her reaction.  She leaned in close to me and with bated breath asked quietly, “And?”

Not sure how to proceed, I turned the tables.  I asked her what she would do.  Would she be willing to try a swing club? 

As I listened to her talk about how disgusting the thought of this was, I stopped her.  I decided to take a chance and tell her we had tried it a few times.  Very nonchalantly I described the first few nights we had actually visited a swing club.  The nerves, the anticipation of what I would see, what I wore and finally what I thought of the experience.  

This is perhaps the most important thing that vanilla couples misunderstand about what happens in a swing club.  I was honest about my fears regarding what type of people would actually spend time in a swing club.  The thought of half naked people walking around touching each other was a fear of mine.  I was sure the people would be old and unattractive; that the club would be a dungeon full of scary sights.  Not knowing what to expect is perhaps one of the biggest reasons that people shy away from swing clubs.

Her eyes were large as she listened intently.  She was dying to know what the club was actually like.  It was more shocking for her when I told her it was the exact opposite of what I had imagined.  The club was beautiful and upscale.  The people were warm and friendly; easy to talk to and quite interesting.  Many were professionals and most were genuinely normal, everyday type of people.  

I continued to explain that I did not see anything alarming or perverse.  Some couples were busy in groups, talking and laughing, some couples were dancing and others simply sat and observed.  Both women and men were well dressed.  Some women were a bit sexier than others, but if I had not known I was in a swing club, I would not have thought anything was odd.  Except, perhaps for the fact that people were so friendly and there was a monitor over the dance floor playing porn.

She was curious to hear whether we had seen people having sex while at the club.  There was no intent on my part to reveal that we have been in the lifestyle for many years and spend every weekend at this club.  My only interest was to help shed some light on the truth about swing clubs.  My answers reflected my views when I was new to the lifestyle.

I admitted that we, too, were curious and so after a few visits to this club we decided to check it out.  There was no way I was going to tell her that we had to change into towels to go into the back room, so I left that part out.

 

It seemed best to explain how respectful others are in this situation.  You go at your own pace.  If you simply want to watch, that is fine.  Some couples simply play with their husband or wife, while others opt to trade partners as they play side by side.  Some people like to play as threesomes and some prefer to be in a private room.  

I did admit that it was a very exciting way to spend a night. That first visit to the club had ignited a sexual flame within the both of us.  The club had a sexy vibe and we liked that.  Watching other people having sex was erotic and exciting.  The atmosphere is like none other.

My final bit of advice to her was to do some research and perhaps try it out.  There is no pressure to do anything.  Many people go to swing clubs and simply socialize.  Some drink and dance.  The most important thing is to do something in her marriage to get it back on track.

The simple act of going to a swing club brought my husband and I closer after just the first time.  We were now partners in crime and had something that we did not share with others.  It was our secret and it was shocking how it helped us to grow as a couple.  

The bottom line is that going to a swing club is an experience.  Perhaps one couple will love it and another will not.  It is not a commitment of any kind and there are no promises or guarantees of what will happen on any given night.  The most important thing to remember is that it is something you do together. 

Looking to find other swingers?  Wear lifestyle jewelry so others can find you!  Shop for the jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Lifestyle jewelry is alive and well in Arizona!

Golfers wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry
Hi Partners ID!

My husband and I have been wearing your jewelry for about 6 months. No one has ever asked if it has any special meaning. One friend did point out that they were both of the same design. We laughed and said that this is why we each bought a piece. Much like wedding rings, it makes us feel connected.

We are avid golfers and spend a lot of time at our golf club. Over the years, we have gotten to know most of the members. This is strictly a vanilla club.

As we are in the lifestyle, we have created two separate lives: our night life and our day life. There is no question that people would never suspect that we are swingers.

Like most weekends, we had plans to play golf with some friends.   At the last minute, the couple we had planned to play with had to cancel.  As a result, we were randomly paired up with another couple looking to play. Although we have known this couple for at least 8 years, the wife is a new golfer so they usually try to play alone.

After teeing off on the 3rd hole, my ball went very far to the right. As I approached I realized it went into the lake. The man who joined us drove up in his cart to hand me a ball retriever.  Just after hitting my ball, he offered me a ride to catch up with the others.   As soon as I sat in the cart, he started to laugh. I was confused and looked over at him. The man reached over and gently held the pendant of my necklace in his hand. He told me that they have been in the lifestyle for quite awhile and also have your jewelry.

This was a huge surprise!  We have known this couple for a long time and neither of us would have ever suspected that they are swingers.  It was equally as shocking for them to discover that we are also swingers.

This couple, like ourselves, prefer to travel for lifestyle events and parties. Over the past few weeks we have been in constant contact as it turns out, we are both going on a lifestyle cruise in April!

You often tell people that it’s impossible to know  who the other swingers are, and as you can see, this is true!   Certainly, without the jewelry, we would never have guessed.   For instance, here is a couple that we have known for 8 years and never suspected.

Everyone needs to wear your jewelry. It really is the only way to know who else is in the lifestyle!

Thanks!

Lauren and Andy
City withheld, AZ

Why should we wear lifestyle jewelry? Is it really necessary?

 

Swingers on beach wearing Partners ID jewelry

Before Partners ID was born, my husband and I had been in the lifestyle for many years.  Some of our favorite lifestyle activities included going to  swing clubs and a local nude beach.  We traveled to Desire and Hedo and had ventured out on a lifestyle cruise.  At times we checked out swinger dating sites for private party information and to meet other swingers online.  

Regardless of the fact that we knew where to go to meet swingers, something was missing. We have always been proud to be in the lifestyle but we also practice discretion.   It is clear to us that there are many benefits to being in the lifestyle but most vanilla couples cannot understand this.  Most people are not open to the concept of swinging.  For this reason, most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves.

At times we would wonder about couples we would spot on the nude beach.  Quite often, we would spot an attractive couple and try to figure out if they were swingers. It occurred to us that other than flat out asking them, there was really no way to know for sure if they were in the lfiestyle. 

Not long after we had started to think about this, we took a trip to Cap D’agde, the naturist resort in France.  This community boasts as many as 50,000 visitors during their busiest times of year.  While the majority of people who visit are nudists, Cap D’agde also attracts many swingers.  During the summer months, Cap D’Agde reports that they can host upwards of 10,000 swingers at certain times.  Although that sounds like a lot, it is only about 1/5 of the population at the resort.

One thing about this is very important to understand.  While swingers can also be nudists, most naturists are not swingers.  More importantly, many naturists are as opposed to swingers as many vanilla couples are.  That creates some difficulty in an environment such as this.  Swingers are all excited to mingle and meet others in the lifestyle, but how can they decipher who the swingers are without asking?

It was at this point that we started to realize that something very important was missing from the lifestyle.  Swingers needed something to identify themselves to each other without alerting everyone around them.  A symbol that was designed only for this purpose.  It had to be too complicated to google yet easy to spot.  

The decision was made to do something about this problem while on the beach in Cap D’Agde.  There were 3 couples involved:  one American couple, one French couple and one Australian couple.  If there was a simple pendant that we could wear, that would identify us to others and others to us, this very vacation would have been so much better!  

This concept made us think about other aspects of our lives.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet other swingers in a local bar, at a grocery store, at a sporting event?  There would no longer be any reason to constantly wonder if other people were swingers.  

Since its inception, customers have written us hundreds of emails.  They relate stories of how they have met others swingers because of the jewelry. Each note always says the same thing:  “We would never have met these people if it wasn’t for the jewelry.”  That is exactly why it was created. 

Now imagine if everyone in the lifestyle wore this pendant….

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  

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Sex in Texas! A hotwife bank teller finds what she’s looking for!

Bank teller looking for sex

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and although I love him, I need more sex than he does.  At the beginning the sex was hot and often, but after a few years, he was happy to have sex twice a week.  For a while I simply satisfied myself, but after we discovered swinging, everything changed.  

Swinging woke him up sexually and that has been a positive for both of us.  More importantly is that I can go to a swing club and have sex with many men in one night.  My husband loves to watch and if he finds a woman he wants to play with, he likes to hear about what I was doing while he was busy.  

Although I love the sex I can have at a club, I discovered what I was really looking for was the freedom to have sex with other men.  As in, what I want, with who I want, when I want!  

I discussed this with my husband and he told me the thought of my meeting other men for sex was a huge turn on for him!  All he wanted was to hear all about it.  He suggested trying to video tape encounters on my phone so that he could watch what happens.  I wasn’t sure how many men would agree to this but I said I would do my best.

The only problem was, how to let men know that I am available.  I work in a bank and  I meet many men but flirting is frowned upon by management.  We had seen your jewelry before and decided that this would be a way to accomplish this!  Not only would I be able to let other swingers know that I am a swinger, but I love black men and so adding the queen of spade charm was perfect!

I did not meet someone right away but I got a lot of compliments on my necklace.  One of coworkers is obsessed with it which makes me laugh.  At first I thought maybe she was a swinger but she has no clue what it is.  

It took a while but finally I had a bite!  It was a regular customer and he simply handed me his deposit and his personal calling card together.  He smiled and told me to have a nice day.  I think I got wet just thinking about what this meant!  I sent him a text as soon as I was on a break and he responded right away!  He and his wife are swingers and they have an open marriage!  He is allowed to meet other women as long as he tells his wife!  

We met up for drinks the next night after work and headed right over to a motel nearby.  He was not open to the video idea but said my husband could listen in over the phone if that would make him happy.  The sex was incredibly hot and lasted quite a few hours.  We talked about the necklace and he asked about the extra charm.  I told him that I love black men (he is not) and he told me he knows quite a few from their circle of swingers.  He said he could ask them to call me if I liked.  This was unbelievable!  Needless to say, I was thrilled!

Long story short, I have been very busy after work and wanted to tell you that the jewelry definitely works!  

Hugs and kisses

Francesca

Dallas, TX

Check out the necklace this hotwife is wearing here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/product/spade/

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Time Magazine claims “We Are Having So Little Sex,” I beg to differ…

Couple having sex wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry
In the back room of a swing club this past weekend, my husband and I squeezed into a very small spot on a mattress.  Not because the surrounding couples were of interest, but simply because it was the only free spot we could find. 

 I couldn’t help but wonder if the back room could be any more crowded.  Couples were everywhere, using every available space they could find.  Many couples simply played standing up, a few occasionally backing into an emergency exit and setting off the fire alarm door.  

This particular Saturday was not even a special night at the club.  SDC, Kasidie, SLS and Quiver tend to bring big crowds, but they were not in the house.  It was not New Years or Halloween.  It was just another Saturday night at Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale.

It seemed ironic to me because that same day I had come across an article in Time Magazine titled, “Why Are We All Having So Little Sex?”*

Clearly, the word all, does not include swingers.  We are not only having sex, it is standing room only!

Perhaps, once again, swingers are making a good argument for their decision to engage in consensual non-monogamy.  Sex, the way swingers are having it, is not boring or routine.  It is not an obligation, nor is it a game of wait and see who initiates.

Swingers are out of the house when they are looking to play and that might be one of the most important details.  Swing clubs promote sex as dessert.  People come in to eat dinner, have drinks, dance and finally head into the play area.  

Maybe one of the key aspects of swing clubs is that sex is not at home.  It is almost like checking into a hotel.  Even couples who have fallen into a rut at home are more likely to have sex in a hotel.  The scenery is different and there are less distractions.  Most importantly, the kids are not there.  

Couples make sure to clean up and dress smart.  Women want to be sexy and men want to look hot.  The whole process of getting ready is a part of the allure.  

At a swing club, sex is on the menu.  You can have it if you choose, if not, that’s ok too.  The temptation, like chocolate cake, is that it is available.  Right behind the closed doors is an oasis of naked bodies looking for some fun.  Just like the cake, maybe you will have just have a little taste or maybe, you’ll have it all!  

The point is, swingers have not let the ball drop on an important aspect of both their relationship with their significant other and their general well being.  Sex is good for you.  It is exercise, there’s no calories, no chemicals and they can’t do it with their smart phone or computer.  It is good old fashioned face to face (if that’s how you like it) contact with another person.  

You don’t hear couples in a swing club discussing whether or not they feel like having sex tonight.  What you might hear is with whom they would like to have sex.

Perhaps one of the issues regarding sex and long term relationships is not simply the routine of sex but the lack of desire you see from your partner.  The beginning of many relationships is marked by lust. You simply can’t get enough of your partner and they can’t get enough of you.  Sex is incredible and you want it constantly.  

When couples move in together the insatiable desire tends to wane.  We do everything we can to keep the flame burning but over time, life seems to get in the way.  You let your hair down and your partner does not always see you at your best.  

You might try new things in the bedroom but after a while, you run out of new things to try.  And let’s face it, although you love your partner, the excitement eventually dulls.

This is where swingers have it figured out.  If we swap partners, we all win.  Everyone gets to be with someone new and exciting.  The women and men are dressed to impress.  They are hoping to attract a new person to play with but at the same time, your partner is noticing you in a new way as well!

I remember the first night my husband and I decided to go to a swing club.   He looked amazing and I was wearing something way sexier than I had worn in years.  We barely made it to the club because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the car.  

When couples break out of their routine and try something to ignite their sex lives, they might be surprised at the result.  Couples don’t swing because they no longer love their partners, it is the opposite.  They want to find that spark again.  Feeling beautiful, sexy and desirable is important for both men and women.  Swinging is a great way to reestablish those feelings. 

For many couples, swinging sounds like a bad idea.  They worry that their significant other will find someone new.  It is a common fear for newbies but this is not usually the case.  When couples enter the lifestyle properly and with the right intention, this is very uncommon. 

The real problem is for couples who are not having sex.  Even as we age and find ourselves in committed relationships, we are still human.  Humans are sexual beings and naturally crave sex.   

What happens when couples who no longer have sex are still looking for that validation that others find them attractive or desirable?  This can be a slippery slope.  Looking for validation in the wrong environment can lead to trouble.  This type of behavior often leads to cheating.

The take away?  It is natural for sex to become less exciting in a long term relationship but it is not natural to stop having sex. When I read the article asking, “Why are we having so little sex,” I am quite sure I said, “Not me” out loud.  

If you love your partner and are simply looking to spice things up between the two of you, swinging might be for you!  

*http://time.com/5297145/is-sex-dead/

Spotting other swingers is easy when you wear lifestyle jewelry.  See the collection here::  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Rejection in the lifestyle; what’s the best way to say thanks but no thanks?


Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Rejection is never pretty. 

Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly.  It is hurtful and often feels personal.  

For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point,  either as the rejector or the rejectee.  First of all, this is normal.  Everyone will not like everyone else, but figuring out how to let them know is never easy.

Swinging is a lot like dating.  

At times we have an attraction to someone and that attraction is not returned.  We want someone to like us but they do not.  When we are talking about dating, it is fairly straightforward.  One person must like one person.  In swinging, this is much more complicated.

Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples is much more difficult.   

Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie,  Airtight, SLS, Quiver, etc., to find other swingers.  They scan their pictures and read profiles in the hopes of finding like minded and attractive couples to meet.  

The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest.  The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos.  If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile.  

If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email.  

What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest?  

Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it.  Obviously you will realize they are not interested right?

This way of handling an email of no interest is called “ghosting”.   Some couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest.  Other couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. 

How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings?

Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings?  It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain.  Often times couples say they simply reply:  “We are not a match.”  Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align.   This truly is the kindest possible response.  No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know.

Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest

Honesty is the best policy, right?  Here I have to disagree.  There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender.  No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic.  There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful.

If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out.   Although you have a good reason to reject them, there are ways to say things without being mean.

What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person?

Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard.  What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest?  If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away.  You make an excuse about going to the restroom or to dance.  When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand.  If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples will hopefully be enough.  

If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know.  For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way.  

It becomes more complicated when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails.  It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee.  If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal.  

When your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated.  You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan.  A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling.  If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know.  The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible.  This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there.  

What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer?

Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone.  If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy.  When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation.  

We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour.  In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs.  While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention.  Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating.  Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. 

 In person, it becomes a bit more difficult.  Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem.  If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them.  Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior.  

Bottom line?

Without a doubt, at some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you.  Although you may be tempted, do not take it personally, simply move on.  

Valentine’s Day is only a few weeks away! Check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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The term “swinger” should be updated to help us gain acceptance in society.

Open-minded couples in bathrobes wearing Partners ID jewelry
Open-minded couples in bathrobes wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is the term “swinger” outdated and in need of an update?

Welcome to 2019! This is the future that many of us imagined back when we were kids. For many of us, the future actually arrived on October 21, 2015. This is the date that Marty McFly travels to save his children, whom were yet to be born in “Back to the Future’s” 1985.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088763/.

For many of us, we believed by now we would be living like the “Jetsons”  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055683/ , but so far, that has not come to fruition.

Perhaps all the fancy technology we had envisioned is not what makes the year 2019 as different as we imagined as children. We might not have accomplished the ability to fly personal aircrafts and have robots catering to our every need, but we have accomplished something much more valuable. We have witnessed a new generation that is proving itself to be much more open minded than any generation before. Now obviously I cannot speak for every single person or community of people, I can only point to the majority.

This generation grew up accepting people, they are less concerned with race, religion and gender than any generation before them. Most don’t judge people based on who they love or how they dress. This generation has opened their hearts to the LGBTQ community, which is not something we saw with prior generations.

So here we are, in the year 2019, watching a generation mature and they are open to new ideas and beliefs as well as lifestyles and personal choices. What I have observed however, is they are not open to “swinging”. Oh, don’t get me wrong, they like to have sex, yes, even the married ones, with other people or couples.  It is the term “swinger” that they reject.  It took me a while to understand this, hence, a previous article I wrote: Are couples having sex with friends but not calling themselves swingers? https://www.swingersjewelry.net/sex-friends/  Here I was questioning why couples who were clearly swinging refused to call it such.

Then it hit me, the word swinger has fallen out of favor. The term “swinger” conjures up an image of a couple from the 1970s with bell bottom pants, polyester shirts or dresses and an afro. It’s not that this generation is not open to swinging, they simply do not use the term. This is not a new problem. I believe that people have been moving away from this word for a long time. People frequently speak about the lifestyle, which is a broader term that incorporates swinging, but often use the term lifestyle to indicate that they are swingers. That can be confusing because you can be in the lifestyle but not swing. https://www.swingersjewelry.net/swing-lifestyle/

The question is: if we decide to change the word swinger to make it more socially accepted, what would be the best term? Perhaps instead of labeling people swingers, we should change the term to open-minded. According to dictionary.com, the word open-minded means:
1.  Having or showing a mind receptive to new ideas or arguments.
2.  Unprejudiced; unbigoted; impartial.

The reason open-minded seems like a logical fit is that it simply tells others that you are receptive and unprejudiced. This way people who are open-minded can speak freely about what they are looking for. Open-minded people might not be swingers, but they would have no problem if you are. It doesn’t speak to others about your sexual life, it simply lets them know that you are open to new ideas and won’t judge people for what they choose to do.

In order to eliminate the stigma attached to swingers, we must change the term to illicit a more contemporary view of today’s swingers. We must shed the image of the hippies from the 1970s and educate people that open-minded people are simply sophisticated adults who no longer believe that monogamy is the ideal in every relationship. Open-minded people have discovered that there is an alternative lifestyle that meets their needs.

The term open-minded allows freedom of expression. If you are nonjudgmental, you are willing to accept that others choose a way of life that is comfortable for them. It could mean they are part of the LGBTQ community, they could be part of a polyamorous relationship, it might even mean they are happily married in a monogamous relationship but they are open to how others are living their lives.

Imagine wearing our lifestyle jewelry and allowing the world to learn that it simply means you are open-minded.  Suddenly people  see that as a sign of respect!  When we switch out the term swinger for open-minded, it no longer speaks strictly about your sex life.  It speaks about you, as a person.

Let us consider moving into the year 2018 with a positive attitude and an open mind. Swingers are a thing of the past. Open-minded people are the wave of the future. Let’s all open our hearts and minds; live and let live…

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Why is it so hard for the vanilla community to accept swingers?

It can be very frustrating to be a swinger.  Those of us who are in the lifestyle love it, but we go to great lengths to hide it from friends and family.   The vanilla world seems unable to understand why people are actually swingers.  Even if you try to explain it them, most are very close minded about the entire lifestyle. 

Why do you suppose people are so turned off by the whole concept?  Is it their upbringing?  Religion?  It just seems unnatural?  How much do others really even know or understand about swinging?

Perhaps they are afraid of what they do not understand. It makes sense that people who are not in the lifestyle would think swingers are crazy.  We allow our significant other to have sex with other people.  We allow them!  What if they like sex with the other person more than they like sex with us?  In my mind, when I hear vanilla people talking negatively about swingers, this is what I think they are worried about.

It is very possible that your partner will love having sex with another person.  That is ok and will not threaten your relationship.  Generally when we discover something that excites us about a new lover, we try to incorporate that into our own love making.  I should note, you have sex with other swingers, you make love with your partner.  There is a big difference. (This might not apply to every swinger, but it applies to most.)

Many people become very possessive in their relationships.  How many times have you heard women complain that their husband is checking out an attractive woman?  They become annoyed; they feel it is rude.  The same applies to women looking at other men.  It is natural to notice an attractive person and it really does not mean you don’t love your partner.  This simply makes you human.  

Getting married or being in a committed relationship does not stop us from being sexual beings.   It provides us with a partner with whom you can  share your life.  Someone with whom to raise a family.  A person to be by your side through thick and thin.   This is the person with whom you should have sex on a regular basis. 

Being married or committed to another does not mean that you will cease noticing attractive people.  That never changes.  Humans will always fantasize about people they see or meet but it does not change the way you feel about your partner.  Noticing a hot guy does not mean you want to share your life with them.  Checking out a woman with a beautiful body in no way indicates your husband is leaving you to chase after her.

The lifestyle brings people together who do love their partner, but also love to have sex.  Most of these couples are looking for variety.  They are seeking out a way to spice up their sex lives together.  What sets them apart from other couples is that they take this step together.  Rather than one person, or both, sneaking out behind the other’s back, they discuss what is missing and try to find a solution as a couple.  The rewards for handling it this way are immense.

Having an open relationship takes away the need to cheat.  When couples are open and honest it enhances their relationship.  There are no lies or deceptions.

Couples in the lifestyle rediscover the thrill of the hunt.  As a couple, they go out and meet other couples together for sex.   Imagine discussing with your significant other which person appeals to you and to them.  We maintain our relationship with our significant other while exploring our sexuality with others who are also open minded. What a great concept!  

The ability to be this open with your partner is amazing;  no more secret lusting or hiding our attraction to others.   Imagine discussing the experience after the fact while wrapped in each others arms.  Giggling like children about the mishaps that occur from time to time.  It probably surprises vanilla people when they hear that swinging brings you closer to your partner.  The honesty is very liberating and creates a bond that is incredibly strong.

Perhaps those who are quick to  put the lifestyle down should try to understand the concept.  Although we might not choose to live the way that vanilla couples do, we are not judging them.  We have also tried their way and decided it doesn’t fulfill us.  Hopefully in the future, people will stop judging what they do not understand.  We do not need their approval to live our lives in a way we seem fit, but it would be nice if we did not have to live so secretly!

Be sure to check out our new pieces of jewelry:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

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Swingers: Why is it a secret that you are in the lifestyle?

 

Woman hiding under a hat wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

Here it is, the year 2019!  Happy New Year!

It is normal to end one year and to begin a new one with some self reflection.  What you accomplished, what you did not, and to think ahead to the upcoming year.  Perhaps some of you make new years resolutions.  Whatever the case, it is normal to think about life during this time.

What are you hoping for this new year?

What do you hope this new year will bring?  Obviously, we all want world peace and good health.  Many wish for prosperity and other such things.  This is normal.  While I too, wish for these things, I also find myself continually asking myself about the things that never seem to change.  Sure, politics come to mind but that is another subject entirely.  For me, I cannot help but wonder why swinging is still seen as something taboo.  What on earth are we so ashamed of?

Are people still afraid to let others know that they are in the lifestyle?

Why do swingers feel the need to keep their lifestyle a secret?  I frequently hear swingers say that nobody knows that they are in the lifestyle.  They would die if someone found out.   Why is that?  What do people think when they hear someone they know is a swinger?  It reminds me of the time before I had ever had sex.   I couldn’t imagine how you could face the person you had sex with afterwards.  What would they think after they had seen you in such a compromising way?  How would others see you? Obviously I discovered that these fears were unfounded.  Nobody seemed to look at me any differently, and facing the guy who I was with was no problem.  So what is it that makes us fear discovery?

 What is it that swingers fear about exposure?

Curiousity got the best of me and so I started to ask swingers.  I asked a group of swingers if they are very religious, but they are not.  I wondered if their children were at an age that it would create confusion and uncertainty, but they are not.  Do they think they are doing something criminal or unethical?  They do not.  Hmm.  Would exposure embarrass them?   This question got a nod.   Embarrassed? Why?  In truth, swingers are doing something that most people wish they could do.  They have sex with others and it doesn’t destroy their marriage.  Why?  Because two consenting adults have agreed to enter into this together.  There are no lies or secrets.

Would friends and family alienate you if they found out you were having an affair?

Admitting that you are a swinger should be a lot less traumatic than admitting you are having an affair, no?  After all, one is cheating and lying to someone you say you are in love with, the other is not.  Cheaters sneak around, worrying that they will be caught.   Getting caught would disrupt their lives and the lives of those around them.  Swingers, on the other hand, are out having a great time together.  They are out enjoying parties and events with their significant other.  This is something that others only dream of.

I wonder how many swingers are truly living this lifestyle unbeknownst to their friends and family.  Probably not nearly as many as believe they are.  Often times I watch swingers arrive at a club clad in an over sized trench coat in the middle of the summer.  When I ask these women if their family or neighbors don’t find this strange they say they don’t think so.  Really?  It’s 90 degrees outside and you leave your house or condo wearing a trench coat cinched at the waste with stiletto heels and nobody thinks that’s odd?

What happens to couples who come clean about the lifestyle?

Many swingers have said that when they finally decided to disclose to friends and family that they were swingers, many were not surprised.  Many said they had known about it for years but understood the swinger couple wanted to keep it to themselves.  (If these were the trench coat women, it’s no wonder people knew.)

What about the family and friends who did not suspect this person or couple was in the lifestyle?  What was their reaction?  Were they shocked and appalled?  Not according to the people I have spoken with.  Most said that more than anything, they were curious about swinging.  They asked a lot of questions but did not seem to have a negative reaction.  Many couples said that both friends and many family members (mostly siblings), eventually asked if they could tag along one night to see what it was all about.

Stop apologizing for your lifestyle choices; it’s your life and your decision to make.

Like any other group, in order to gain acceptance, we must learn to stand up for what we believe in.  Swingers should not be ashamed of their lifestyle.  Obviously it is not necessary to divulge what you do when you are at a swing club, or party or other event.  Most people do not give blow by blow (pun intended) details to others about what they do in their bedrooms.  No need to reveal that you participated in a gang bang with 15+ men last Saturday. Nobody needs to know that you tried double penetration for the first time and loved it.  Many swingers don’t swap, and many people in the lifestyle are not swingers.  Enjoying the warm atmosphere that accompanies the lifestyle is a wonderful thing and people should not have to hide from it.

Why do people find it acceptable to learn that many famous couples are swingers?  Why are they held to a different standard than the rest of us.  Because they are famous?   Some are highly influential people and they do not deny that they are swingers.  Famous people frequently answer questions about their lifestyle and seem quite comfortable doing so.

What does wearing lifestyle jewelry actually say about you?

Wearing our jewelry means that you are open minded.  If you think about it, being a part of the lifestyle really doesn’t mean more than that.   If your children or parents told you the same thing, would it concern you?  Although it might surprise you, you would  be happy to see them happy.

When we initially came up with the concept for the jewelry, we had just this vision in mind.  Wear the jewelry with pride.  First of all, others do not know what it means.  Secondly, even if they did, what does it really say about you?  It says that you are an open minded person.

Let’s continue the movement to unite the lifestyle.  People in the lifestyle could really teach others a lot about relationships.  Honesty, respect and fun are the three hallmarks of the lifestyle.  What could be better than that?

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/page/2/

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