It could not be any easier to meet another swinger couple than this!

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We get a lot of emails from our customers, which we truly appreciate!  We obviously cannot publish every letter we receive but this couple asked us to share their story:

Hello Partners ID!

First of all I want to say that my wife and I have been fans of your company since we first heard about you.  As I am sure many others did when they learned of your company, we wondered why it took this long for someone to actually develop a symbol strictly for swingers.   It seems like a no-brainer yet nobody has ever done it before so, bravo to you!

We purchased a couple of necklaces a few months ago, which we love, and put them on our necks.   About 3 weeks after we started to wear them we were traveling to see my wife’s parents down south.  We do not like to stay with them so we checked into a hotel not far from where they live.  The first night we arrived late so we decided rather than disturbing them we would just grab a bite somewhere near the hotel and wait until morning to see them.   The concierge at the hotel recommended a bar within walking distance of the hotel, so off we went for dinner.

The place had a decent crowd so we figured the food must be good.  My wife and I waited at the bar for a table, and soon the hostess came to get us.  The hostess told us that it would be no problem to just put the bar tab on our food bill.  With that, we followed her to the table.   A few minutes after sitting down, the hostess came back to our table to inform us that a couple at the bar had paid our bar tab.  We were shocked because we did not know anyone there and we don’t live nearby.  She then pointed to an attractive couple sitting across the bar from where we were sitting.   The hostess then handed me a piece of a napkin which was folded in half.  The note was from the couple,  it read, “We love your necklaces.”

We couldn’t believe it!  WOW!  We waved them over to the table and the rest is history!  We had a wonderful night with them and have been in touch ever since.   They are planning to come and stay with us soon and we are really looking forward to that!

So again, Bravo!  Well done!  We really weren’t sure we would ever find someone with the jewelry but we did!  The funny thing is, the other couple did not have the jewelry but they knew what it was.  As you know, we just purchased 2 necklaces and are planning to surprise them with the jewelry when they come to visit.

Thank you again Partners ID!

David and Vicki

North Potomac, MD

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

If your spouse is cheating, does it mean they don’t love you?

As a swinger, when I spend time with my vanilla girlfriends, I am always paying close attention to what they say. I am especially tuned in to how they behave when somebody brings up the subject of sex.  Interestingly, the subject of sex generally comes up when someone talks about cheating.

My friends do not know that I am in the lifestyle so bringing up the subject of swinging is a very delicate matter. It is very rare that it comes up, but at our latest get together, I couldn’t resist.

The topic of conversation was infidelity. One of our mutual friends is in the process of divorce because she recently discovered that her husband was cheating on her. Almost all of the other women agreed that this would be grounds for divorce in their own marriages. They would not care if it was a one-time thing or a long-standing affair.  Cheating is something they all agree is unforgivable.

I listened to them rant about men being dogs and not being able to keep it in their pants, etc. I asked them if they really think it is only a male problem. While they all agreed that it is not, they all vehemently denied that they had ever cheated.  They also denied ever contemplating sleeping with a man other than their husband. These are women who are all over 40 years old!

I looked around at each one of them.  It was impossible to believe that they had never been attracted to another man since they had gotten married. “You mean to tell me that you have never fantasized about another man?” (I wanted to say or woman, but was too afraid to open that can of worms.)

Although most admitted that they had fantasized about men over the years, they denied ever considering acting on it. I asked them if they ever did act on it, did they think it would change the way they feel about their husbands?  Perhaps this would simply be a physical release?

I asked them to consider two questions:

Can a man have sex with another woman yet be in love with his wife?

Can a woman have sex with another man yet still love her husband?

Are sex and love mutually exclusive?

I could see the wheels turning while they considered that. Wouldn’t it simply be a physical act? The men you fantasize about, are you hoping to share your life with him or have a quickie? Is it possible that sex can be just a physical act with no love attached?

As the group fell silent in contemplation, I pushed on. What about swingers? I asked. From what I have read (I explained), they seem to be able to find the balance between their love for each other and having sex with others. Does this type of lifestyle possibly eliminate a need to cheat? I turned to the woman who is now in the process of divorce. Do you think perhaps if the two of you were in the lifestyle this would not be happening?

None of the women were open to the thought of swinging, as far as I could tell, but at least they were considering what I was saying. Does it make sense to break up marriages and families over a sexual encounter?

The women explained that it was less about sex and more about the betrayal of trust. So my next question was, “If your husband had told you he wanted to have sex with someone else, would you be open to it?” They all shook their heads no. Then I am confused. The anger stems from the trust issue, yet if their husbands were honest, it wouldn’t change anything. Seems to me like a no-win situation. Perhaps the thought process for someone who is looking for something different resorts to cheating because they might get away with it. If they cannot discuss this with their partner, they feel out of options.

This, sadly, seems to be a cornerstone of contemporary marriages. Fidelity sounds like a wonderful and romantic concept, but in the 21st century, it seems almost ridiculously outdated. That is not to say that there aren’t many couples out there who manage to remain married and faithful, but are they happy? Are they faithful by choice or out of fear of the repercussions?

I asked the women if they could honestly say that they believe their husbands have never thought about cheating (as they seemed to believe that they had not already done so). Most of the women said that their husbands had probably been attracted to another woman at some point and might have considered cheating. I asked what kept them from acting on it. The common response: my husband knows if I catch him cheating I will leave him. So women feel comfortable suppressing their husbands’ sexual desires by threatening them with consequences. Is this healthy? More importantly, is this really love?

Most swingers would agree that by allowing their spouses to be able to have sex with other women, on some level, we are expressing love. We are happy to see our husband happy. We understand that it is not realistic to be able to be the only person our significant other is ever attracted to or wants to have sex with. The same goes for women. If our husband allows us the opportunity to be with other men, why would we cheat? True love is so much deeper than sex and it is a shame that the concept seems to be lost on so many people.

There is no doubt that during this lunch date my friends were all eyeing me suspiciously. I clearly was not on the same page as they were with regard to sex and marriage. I do think, however, I was able to give my soon to be divorced friend something to think about. While I totally understand the importance of trust in a marriage, I also understand the importance of communication. If her husband had tried to express his desire to have sex with another woman, they would probably be in the same position they are now. She is angry and hurt because she cannot understand why she isn’t “enough” for him.

This is where swingers have a healthier perspective. Remember this popular saying?  Show me a beautiful woman and I will show you a man who is tired of having sex with her…
We can substitute man for woman and vice versa, but the meaning is the same. Humans are essentially not monogamist, and until we accept this, this conversation will go on indefinitely.

Check out our new jewelry! Stop wondering, start playing! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Maybe your neighbors are swingers and you just don’t know!

This is an email we received from one of our customers, which was printed with permission.

My wife and I bought your jewelry while visiting a club in Canada about a year ago.  We wear it mostly when we go out nights when we are hoping to meet other swingers.  Although people have complimented us on the jewelry, no one has ever asked what it means.

We went to a friend’s birthday party at a big club recently and thinking ‘you never know,’ we both wore our jewelry.  We partied late into the night and with the long drive, arrived home much later than usual. 

As soon as we walked into the house, my wife put the dog on a leash and went outside to walk her.   She was surprised to see our neighbor’s from down the street just arriving home.  It was almost 4 o’clock in the morning!

She walked toward their house. There is an empty lot next door and that is where everyone walks their dogs.  A few minutes later, the male neighbor came walking toward her with his little dog in tow.  As it was just the two of them, they said hello and made small talk about the dogs.  

The neighbor mentioned that he often walked his dog late at night but had never bumped into anyone.  My wife told him we had just returned home from a party that was a good distance away.  The neighbor was acting a little strange and she could not figure out why.  

He told her that they often stay out this late because they spend their weekends at a club that is open until 4 am.  Then he smiled at her and said, “You and her husband would like this club.  If you decide to check it out, wear your necklace.”

At this point, I was concerned that she was still outside and went to check on her.  As I walked up the street I was surprised to see her talking to one of our neighbors.  We do not know most of our neighbors and although I know where this man lives, we have never spoken with him or his wife.

As I got closer to them, I was relieved to hear her laughing.   I was about to turn and walk back home when she called me over.  

My wife introduced me to our neighbor and told me that they were discussing her necklace.  I was afraid to say anything as I didn’t know what she had told him.  He immediately relayed the information about the swing club he and his wife visit every weekend.  The neighbor said his wife has a pair of earrings with the pendant and he knows what it means.

We have been living on the same street for 5 years and had never spoken with them before.  Next weekend they are picking us up at 8:30 and we are going to a swing club with them.  Does it get any better than this?

I have to be honest, that after wearing the jewelry for almost a year, we weren’t sure that we would ever meet people.  Now we have not only made contact because of the jewelry, but discovered our neighbors are swingers too!   This has become such an incredibly fun situation for us all!  

I did meet his wife that night and we had a drink at 4 in the morning with them.  We left it at that for now, with the hope of this becoming more in the future.  

This has added so much excitement to our lives!  I look forward to this weekend and many more!

I just wanted to tell you our story and thank you!

R & M

Spring Hill, TN

Drama in the lifestyle, why it is sure to ruin everyone’s night.

Drama free group of swingers wearing  Partners ID swinger symbol jewelry 

Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. As a rule, when it comes to swinging, it is no different.

Swinging is something people do for enjoyment.  Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun.  If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenage children.

The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night.  You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time.  Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.

A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks,  and heading into a play area.  Next, you try to find another couple (or single).  Ideally,  everybody plays, everybody is happy, and you leave.  That’s not so hard, right?

For many couples it is simple.  They have conversations about what works for the both of them.  Usually, the problems begin when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.

So what causes drama in the lifestyle?  Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong?  Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:

1.  Someone is too drunk to play.
2.  One member of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3.  The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4.  One member of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5.  The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6.  One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7.  They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8.  One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9.  One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10.  One gets upset and leaves during play.

Not surprisingly, when couples find themselves in situations such as these, it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.

With this in mind,  how can you avoid ending up with couples who create drama?  Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance.  Couples are not always upfront and honest regarding what they will and will not participate in. Not to mention the couples who say they are full swap and ready to play, and they are not.

To begin with, couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with.  If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront.  Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well.  Besides, couples who cause drama eventually develop a reputation as such.

Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun.  Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment.  If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.

The bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…

If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Vaginas: They are sought after by so many, yet rarely spoken of.

Let’s talk about vaginas, shall we? It is something people rarely mention…

Vaginas are an integral part of our sex lives yet just saying the word seems to make people uncomfortable.   To test out this theory it seemed natural to talk with a group of swingers.  Swingers are such a great resource when sex is the topic. They are not afraid to be open and candid. If you want to know something that you have never been comfortable asking regarding sex, ask a swinger. They might not have all the answers, but they will certainly give you any information they can! Why then, when they hear the word vagina, do even swingers giggle?

So what’s the deal with vaginas?

Just the word vagina makes people shy away. A Michigan lawmaker was banned from speaking in her state’s House of Representatives because she said the word “vagina.” Really?! Is the vagina not simply a female body part? Should she have called it a va jay jay? How about pussy or snatch? Better?

How about the tampon commercials? They are obviously dealing directly with vaginas yet they never once use the word. How is this possible? If you watch carefully, they don’t even make mention of the female genitalia; not even a “down there” reference. What’s up with that?

It makes people giggle and look at you like you are drunk when you say the word vagina.

There are so many nicknames for the vagina that this should be a red flag right there! I have heard everything from penis snuggie to tuna taco to honey pot, and those are some of the nicer ones. There are actually lists of names on the internet. Here are a few sites I found:

http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-07-21/name-that-vajayjay-40-words-for-every-situation/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/105361

http://www.webdate.com/forum/all_things_webdate/Unique_Names_for_A_Vagina

Not even swingers are comfortable using the word?

I asked a group of female swingers if they ever use the word in general. Whether while talking about sex or even with their gynecologist. Ready for this? They all answered no, it’s not a word they feel comfortable using. Really? Even for swingers? I asked if they were having a problem with their vagina, how they would refer to it while speaking with their doctor? The most common answer: “down there.” One said she had actually said va jay jay to her doctor. I asked if he laughed and she said no.

Why do we need to use other words to describe it?

Is there a problem with the word vagina? Maybe we should consider simply changing the name to something that doesn’t make people so uncomfortable. Even after reading through some pretty ridiculous, yet hilarious names, I’m not sure what would be better: Cooch? Hooha? Snatch?

Is it the actual name of the organ that causes so much discomfort or is it the organ itself?

Men seem to take great pride in the fact that they have a penis. We see that from an early age and it seems to stay with them for their entire lives. Even as little boys, we see them touching it and playing with it as soon as they become aware of it. It’s rare that men shy away from an opportunity to take it out and show it off.

Why is it different for women? Is it the way we are brought up? Almost as if we are taught that it is something to be ashamed of? Why should something that is part of our sexual makeup, something that can make us feel so good, make us feel so ashamed?

Maybe it is time we give vaginas a break. They do an awful lot for us! It’s time we stopped being embarrassed by them and started giving them the respect they deserve! I am even willing to bet that after reading the word vagina this many times, you are feeling slightest more comfortable with it. Right?

Swingers: Why is it a secret that you are in the lifestyle?

Woman in lifestyle wearing Partners ID choker necklace

Are people still afraid to let others know that they are in the lifestyle?

Why do swingers feel the need to keep their lifestyle a secret?  I frequently hear swingers say that nobody knows that they are in the lifestyle.  They would die if someone found out.   Why is that?  What do people think when they hear someone they know is a swinger?  It reminds me of the time before I had ever had sex.   I couldn’t imagine how you could face the person you had sex with afterward.  What would they think after they had seen you in such a compromising way?  How would others see you? Obviously I discovered that these fears were unfounded.  Nobody seemed to look at me any differently, and facing the guy who I was with was no problem.  So what is it that makes us fear discovery?

 What is it that swingers fear about exposure?

Curiosity got the best of me and so I started to ask swingers.  I asked a group of swingers if they are very religious, but they are not.  I wondered if their children were at an age that it would create confusion and uncertainty, but they are not.  Do they think they are doing something criminal or unethical?  They do not.  Hmm.  Would exposure embarrass them?   This question got a nod.   Embarrassed? Why?  In truth, swingers are doing something that most people wish they could do.  They have sex with others and it doesn’t destroy their marriage.  Why?  Because two consenting adults have agreed to enter into this together.  There are no lies or secrets.

Would friends and family alienate you if they found out you were having an affair?

Admitting that you are a swinger should be a lot less traumatic than admitting you are having an affair, no?  After all, one is cheating and lying to someone you say you are in love with, the other is not.  Cheaters sneak around, worrying that they will be caught.   Getting caught would disrupt their lives and the lives of those around them.  Swingers, on the other hand, are out having a great time together.  They are out enjoying parties and events with their significant other.  This is something that others only dream of.

I wonder how many swingers are truly living this lifestyle unbeknownst to their friends and family.  Probably not nearly as many as believe they are.  Often times I watch swingers arrive at a club clad in an oversized trench coat in the middle of the summer.  When I ask these women if their family or neighbors don’t find this strange they say they don’t think so.  Really?  It’s 90 degrees outside and you leave your house or condo wearing a trench coat cinched at the waist with stiletto heels and nobody thinks that’s odd?

What happens to couples who come clean about the lifestyle?

Many swingers have said that when they finally decided to disclose to friends and family that they were swingers, many were not surprised.  Many said they had known about it for years but understood the swinger couple wanted to keep it to themselves.  (If these were the trench coat women, it’s no wonder people knew.)

What about the family and friends who did not suspect this person or couple was in the lifestyle?  What was their reaction?  Were they shocked and appalled?  Not according to the people I have spoken with.  Most said that more than anything, they were curious about swinging.  They asked a lot of questions but did not seem to have a negative reaction.  Many couples said that both friends and many family members (mostly siblings), eventually asked if they could tag along one night to see what it was all about.

Stop apologizing for your lifestyle choices; it’s your life and your decision to make.

Like any other group, in order to gain acceptance, we must learn to stand up for what we believe in.  Swingers should not be ashamed of their lifestyle.  Obviously it is not necessary to divulge what you do when you are at a swing club, or party, or another event.  Most people do not give blow by blow (pun intended) details to others about what they do in their bedrooms.  No need to reveal that you participated in a gang bang with 15+ men last Saturday. Nobody needs to know that you tried double penetration for the first time and loved it.  Many swingers don’t swap, and many people in the lifestyle are not swingers.  Enjoying the warm atmosphere that accompanies the lifestyle is a wonderful thing and people should not have to hide from it.

Why do people find it acceptable to learn that many famous couples are swingers?  Why are they held to a different standard than the rest of us.  Because they are famous?   Some are highly influential people and they do not deny that they are swingers.  Famous people frequently answer questions about their lifestyle and seem quite comfortable doing so.

What does wearing lifestyle jewelry actually say about you?

Wearing our jewelry means that you are open-minded.  If you think about it, being a part of the lifestyle really doesn’t mean more than that.   If your children or parents told you the same thing, would it concern you?  Although it might surprise you, you would  be happy to see them happy.

When we initially came up with the concept for the jewelry, we had just this vision in mind.  Wear the jewelry with pride.  First of all, others do not know what it means.  Secondly, even if they did, what does it really say about you?  It says that you are an open-minded person.

Let’s continue the movement to unite the lifestyle.  People in the lifestyle could really teach others a lot about relationships.  Honesty, respect and fun are the three hallmarks of the lifestyle.  What could be better than that?

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/page/2/

Imagine sending photos intended for swinger friends to your parents!

Photo of naked provocative woman wearing Partners ID jewelry
Taking photos is a wonderful way to capture memories of every kind.  From the day we are born, the cameras start flashing to ensure memories of this special event.  We embrace our photos as prized possessions and something tangible to remind us of the good times in our lives.  Birthdays, graduations, vacations with our families, holidays and good times with our friends.
 Swingers are no different, but their collections of photos are typically quite different from most people’s photos.  People in the lifestyle seem to take quite a bit of illicit pictures of themselves, and often their friends.  Check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or swinger websites. You will be inundated with more nude and pornographic photos than you can imagine.  Part of the fun of taking these photos is sharing them with your swinger friends, right?
 It is also common for swinger couples who have been speaking over the internet to request pictures of each other.  After all, you would like to see recent photos prior to meeting them.  It’s only logical then that you would choose to email these photos.  No big deal, right?  You pick out your favorite face shots. Then you look for that perfect sexy shot of the two of you engaged in some kind of sex act.  Maybe you like the one where you are giving your husband a blowjob while a black male is behind you. No?  Perhaps the one when your girlfriend is going down on you.   Type in the recipient’s email address and push send.  What could be simpler?  Although it should be a simple and private way to communicate, it does not always work that way.  We are human and computers do not always seem to be on the same page we are.

Swinger woman playing with herself wearing Partners ID bracelet

Sometimes the computer seems to magically change recipients without our knowledge.  I am sure it has happened to everyone:  you intend a message to go to one person and somehow it ends up going to someone else.  For most messages, this is simply a hassle or perhaps just plain annoying.  If you are a swinger, this particular type of scenario can be a whole lot worse.  You push send and as soon as your finger hits the button you see what’s happened!  The email is not addressed to your new friends at all but rather to your father!  OMG!  This actually happened to someone we know.
How about when your friends bring you into a group text message.  You and your vanilla friends agree on where to go for lunch or share some gossip about someone you all know.  We all have these group texts.  Not a problem until you decide to share some erotic photos with the swinger couple you played with the previous evening. It accidentally gets sent out in a group text.  There’s really nothing you can say because as we have heard, a picture is worth a thousand words.  Can you even imagine the conversation about you between your vanilla friends?  I shudder to think about it.
A couple was celebrating New Year’s Eve in a swing club and told their children they were heading out for a romantic dinner.  The club looked so beautiful they could not resist asking someone to take a picture of them against the festive backdrop.  They looked at the picture in the club that night and liked it so much they sent it right out to their children.  What they did not notice until the next day was that in the background was a monitor with porn.   There was nothing they could think of to explain this.
Another couple celebrated Halloween in a swing club and loved their clever costumes.  They asked a friend to take a photo of them and as they posed for the photo, a friend joined in for the shot.  When they checked the photo, they thought it was adorable.  The next day they met her parents for dinner and took out their phone to show them their cute costumes.  As they enlarged the picture, they realized the girl who joined in the shot had pulled her top down and her breasts were exposed.  It is very hard to think of what to say in these situations to somehow make things sound normal.
It seems that as long as swingers are snapping pictures of themselves and each other in compromising positions, there will always be the possibility of a mishap.  This does keep things interesting, no?

Never in a million years did I think I would be in the lifestyle!

An email we received from a customer:

Dear Partners ID,

My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have children who are now living on their own and we both have careers that keep us busy. One evening after dinner, we settled into our typical nightly routine of watching tv on the couch. We talked about the upcoming weekend and who we wanted to go out with. I was shocked when my husband told me he couldn’t stand how routine our lives had become. We work all week, have dinner at home and on weekends go out to dinner or a movie with basically the same couples. He was afraid that our lives, now that our children were grown, would remain like this forever.  The thought of it made him sad.

Honestly, it was the first time I had ever thought about it, but I realized he was right. There was nothing to look forward to anymore; every week was the same.

That night I couldn’t sleep so I went on the computer to try to research what else couples at our stage of life were doing for fun. I came across a blog written by Penny which directed me to your website. At first, I was chuckling to myself about the prospect of Joe and myself as swingers, but as I read more blogs I started to realize that it really was about so much more than sex.

I started to research what exactly the swinging lifestyle entailed and thought it was worth mentioning to Joe. Never in a million years could I have imagined something like this, but I must admit, I was very curious.

When I initially mentioned it to Joe over coffee in the morning he thought I was insane. He, too, laughed at the thought.

For the first time in I don’t know how many years, he sent me a text and asked if we could meet for lunch. He told me he couldn’t get the thought out of this out of his mind and was excited that it was something I had an interest in. We had no idea how to go about the whole thing so I came back to your website to see what I could find.

It didn’t take long to find articles I needed to get started. We did some research online regarding local swing clubs and also spent some time looking at swinger dating sites. I will tell you that our sex life changed that very first night that we started to think about it! It was like something sparked inside both of us and we were alive and excited about what was to come!

Fast forward one year and our lives have changed dramatically. It has been years since my husband and I have been this happy and connected.  We look forward to our weekends with our new lifestyle friends and all the adventures! Each weekend we now go to parties and swing clubs and have booked a lifestyle cruise for the fall! Of course, we both wear your jewelry (proudly) and wanted to thank you for helping us find what we never knew we were looking for!

The friends that we used to spend every weekend with have noticed the difference in us but we don’t dare tell them what we are up to! We both work out several days a week and look younger and more fit than we have in years. Even our children see the change!

One of the biggest benefits of this lifestyle is the friends we have made. We are closer to them than any of the friends we have had in the past. We travel with them, meet them at clubs and even have sleepovers! What fun!

Thank you for opening our eyes to a wonderful new world! Your blogs are wonderfully honest and informative and your jewelry is beautiful! We wish you all the happiness that we have found!

xoxo
Debbie and Joe

Looking for our lifestyle jewelry? Simply click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Swinging; how do I bring up the topic to my significant other?

Wearing Partners ID jewelry is a good way to meet others in the lifestyle.

The most common question asked of swingers seems to be, “How do I get my husband/wife/girlfriend, etc., into the lifestyle?”  

There are many people out there who know about swinging and would like to swing. The problem is, they don’t know how to bring up the subject to their partner.

We have gotten quite a few emails from people who actually ask us this question. I’m not sure how I became the “Dr. Ruth” of swinging but I really don’t mind trying to help.

The majority of the time, this question comes from a man, but we have had women ask us as well. The interesting part is that many people have said the same thing. We often talk about how exciting it would be to bring another person into bed with us.  Although we both get turned on, I’m not sure how to make the leap to actually making this happen!

It is always a good sign if you have a good sexual relationship and can talk about things before you bring this up. It would seem to me that when you approach the subject, it should not be in the bedroom.

Many people like to fantasize to get excited but are not really prepared to act on these erotic imageries.

Several men said their wives get very turned when talking about having sex with multiple men at once. The operative word here is talk. There is a good chance that she is not prepared to actually do this in real life.  So how can you make this happen?

Try talking about how much you love to see your partner so turned on during sex. You love that they like to watch porn or to fantasize. Express how amazing it is that the two of you can share this together.

Mention that something you have always fantasized about was seeing other people have sex. Live sex, not on tv. How hot would that be?  This way you simply mention your desire to find a place where you can actually watch others having sex. This takes the pressure off of your partner.  You are not making your partner feel that they will have to be a part of it.

Check her reaction to a suggestion such as watching live sex.

Does she look at you like you are crazy or does she have a flicker of interest? If you get the ‘you’re crazy’ look, drop it and mention it again at a later time. The next time maybe say you came across this swing club online or in a magazine or a newspaper. After a while, she might get used to the thought. Perhaps your partner would be willing to just go and take a look. Again, it is extremely important to let her know that you just want to see it. That is all you want. This is, the first step.

Most women I have met in the lifestyle agree that it was not their idea to enter a swing club or check out any type of lifestyle venue. It is almost always the man’s suggestion. However, I will tell you that the woman is the one who requests to return. That being said, the major obstacle for most couples, is getting your partner to walk through the front door for the first time.

The smartest approach for many men seems to be to give the woman control of the situation from the very beginning.

When you are able to get her to agree to try it out for one night, encourage her to buy something new that will make her feel good. It is not important that she dress overly sexy, only that she feel good about herself. Try not to be overly eager about getting to the club or event. If you take a more casual attitude towards going, it will make her less nervous.

Most important of all, is when you arrive for the evening, make sure she is your number one priority.

Check to make sure she is comfortable. Make her feel special and attractive. If you walk in and start ogling all the other women, she will not like the environment from the get go. It is ok to be friendly, but let her take the lead and decide who she is comfortable talking to or not talking to. The same goes for a woman bringing a man. If you start to flirt with other people right away, your partner will feel insecure. Swinging must be about the two of you as a couple. If you leave your partner in the background during your visit, chances are, you will not be returning to any type of lifestyle event with them in the future.

The lifestyle is an amazing, exciting and warm environment.

There is no real reason why anyone would not enjoy it, as long as it is approached the right way. The number one problem that couples seem to have, which stops them from ever getting comfortable in the lifestyle, is jealousy. Nobody enjoys feeling insecure or left out. If you do not make it a priority to see to it that your partner is comfortable, they will not want to put themselves in this situation again, and who can blame them?

When you are new to swinging, it is very important to take your time.

Do not enter the lifestyle and think you should swing right away. It is more important to get adjusted to the situation before you take the plunge. Make sure that when you think you are both ready to take the next step, you have discussed it and know what you are both comfortable with. Always make sure to notice if your significant other is ok if you do swap with another couple.

Communication is the key to success in the lifestyle.

At the end of any night together it is a good idea to talk about the experience to make sure she/he was happy and comfortable with what happened. As long as you keep the lines of communication open from the start, you should have no trouble joining the lifestyle and making it a smooth transition. Swinging should be something wonderful for both members of a couple. It cannot work if one person is dragging the other person into it against their will.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

A sure way to find others in the lifestyle is by wearing our jewelry.  Each piece sports the international symbol for swinger.  To see the jewelry click here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers

 

 

You might be the good looking one, but I’m the one wearing the lifestyle jewelry!

Painter wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

I am happy to be able to write to you about how your lifestyle jewelry helped me to meet someone.  Those stories always make me smile and I think everyone who wears the jewelry is looking forward to writing one of their own.  Here is mine.

A few years ago I was dating a woman who introduced me to the lifestyle.   We spent several weekends each month attending house parties and hotel takeovers.  When we broke up, the prospect of being that single guy did not excite me and so I now only attend house parties if I am specifically invited.

For the past eleven years, I have been working as a house painter. After graduating from high school, my friend and I opened a business and we have done very well.  We have been friends since we were kids.  He has always been the more outgoing, good looking one, I am the quiet, reserved one.  

The next job on our roster was in a very upscale area.  The house is large and the property is isolated.  The nearest house is probably a quarter of a mile away.  It is surrounded by dense forest and a small lake.

The job was to paint the entire house, inside and out.  The first day we arrived it was raining, so we started with the inside.  We were greeted by the homeowners and their two young children.  The man soon set out for work and took the kids with him.   His wife explained that he always takes the kids to school and she picks them up.

The woman was very friendly and showed us around the house.  We set up our gear and got down to work.  Since we have been working together for so many years, we have a system and we each know what our job entails.  

Luckily the weather cleared up and after completing the inside, we were able to move outside to paint.  After getting set up outside, the woman came out and told us there was something she wanted to be fixed inside the house.  We tried to tell her we would get to it later in the day but she was insistent.  My partner generally paints inside and I usually paint outside but she insisted that she show it to me.

I climbed off my ladder and follow her into the house.  She leads me upstairs and into her bathroom.  Pointing to an area of ceiling that she said was imperfect, I looked up.  Not only was she wearing a robe when I looked up but also her hair was in a ponytail. When I turned back to say I saw no problem, the robe was on the floor and her long was hair was hanging straight.   The woman was wearing only her panties.  This was truly a first for me.  I imagine the shocked look on my face told her I was not expecting this.  She pointed to my ring (your ring) and said she had a few pieces of her own.  

Without hesitating, she picks up her phone and calls her husband.   With her husband on facetime, we proceeded to get down to business.  Needless to say, we had a great time!  I did feel bad that my buddy was working but she said he had been flirting with her since day one and she loved that he didn’t get what he wanted.  Had he been wearing the jewelry, she said she would have asked him to join us. 

This went on every day that we were there. Sometimes inside the house. other times outside.  Needless to say, my partner was suspicious as to why she only wanted me to come inside.   I just shrugged my shoulders and I said I really didn’t know why.  

Needless to say, I love my ring it is magical!   I recommend everyone in the lifestyle wear it as it does exactly what it was intended to do!

Thank you for doing what you do!

Warmly,

Steve

Millburn, NJ

Looking for others in the lifestyle? Try checking their jewelry!  If you are interested in purchasing a piece of your own, click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/