Swingers frequently refer to the lifestyle. What exactly is the lifestyle?

Swingers at club wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

The first time my husband and I went to a swing club, it was strictly out of curiosity.  His, more than mine.  My husband had heard about a local swing club and was eager to see what it was all about.  Our lives were busy with work, kids, and vanilla friends.  I don’t think either one of us felt we were ‘missing’ anything.  We were very sexually active together and we both liked to explore new things.  Since a swing club was  something we had never explored, my curiosity got the better of me and I agreed to check it out.

Upon entering the swing club, it became clear that many people seemed to know each other.  They stood around in clusters talking, laughing, and drinking.  The dance floor was already packed with people.  Immediately I felt a sense of community within the club.  Couples drifted from group to group, kissing and hugging like (warm) old friends.  

As soon as we approached the bar for a drink, a couple seated at the bar spoke with us.  Having been to many bars and clubs over the years, I was surprised at how friendly they were. It was rare that strangers would start a  conversation with us when we were out.  

The couple asked if it was our first time at the club.  The man noted that he had never seen us before.  I asked if he knew everyone else in the club that evening.  He glanced around and said that while he didn’t know everyone’s name, he recognized most of the people.  As we knew nothing about swingers, this came as a surprise to us both.  Namely, the fact that these people did not simply choose this swing club for a Saturday night outing.  Clearly, these people were regulars and that is why they all seem to know each other.

That first night at the club was fun.  We drank, we danced and we mingled easily with other couples.  It seemed to us that people recognized very quickly that we were new.  Considering there were well over 100 people there that night, we were surprised and impressed.  

It seemed only logical to return and get our money’s worth since membership was required to enter the club,   Our rationale was that since we had already paid, we should make use of the 3-month membership.  

In the beginning, we visited the club about once a month on Saturday nights.  Although some couples had mentioned that they frequently spent 2-3 nights per week there, we were skeptical.  Why would we spend so many nights each week in a swing club?

Well, before long, that changed.  Slowly but surely, we started to try different nights at the club and we were hooked!  It was so easy to simply show up, without having to make plans.  Each night we went was a slightly different crowd but there were many regulars that we looked forward to seeing.  I have to admit, the atmosphere can be intoxicating.  In all honesty, over time, we preferred our nightlife at the club, to anything else we had done in the past.

The club became like Cheers (the infamous bar on tv).  Everyone knows your name, what you drink, what music you like to dance to, etc.  It was about more than just sex.  The club was a place where you could let your hair down and just have a good time.  Before we knew it, without ever knowing such a thing existed, we were a part of it.  It is called the lifestyle.

Our nights revolved around the club, we discovered a local nude beach and Sunday Fundays became a ritual.   Before long we were vacationing at lifestyle resorts and enjoying sleepovers with friends.  What started out as an adventurous night out to see a swing club had morphed into a whole new way of life!

As a result of the lifestyle, we lost some vanilla friends over the years. It became almost impossible to maintain some of those relationships because we became unavailable.  Committing to an evening with vanilla friends kept us away from the lifestyle for a night and we rarely wanted to stay away.

Does everyone who visits a swing club succumb to the lifestyle?  Whatever happens, it is obviously a choice that you make.  Some people enjoy an occasional night out with other swingers, either in a club or elsewhere.  On the other hand, there are those who jump right in and embrace the lifestyle right from the beginning.

Finally, those who are not in the lifestyle are probably wondering if  we are happier in the lifestyle than we were prior.  The answer is yes.  We love the way of life, the friends and the fun.  There is a camaraderie in the lifestyle that we have never found elsewhere.  Sure, we had good friends, but it was not the same.  There is freedom in the lifestyle that you do not find elsewhere.  

Try it!  You might like it!

The holidays are here and Partners ID has great gifts for all of your friends and lovers in the lifestyle!  Check out our shop here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Keeping the excitement of the lifestyle alive during COVID.

Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

This is not your typical story but thought you might enjoy it so here goes.

My wife and I have been married for 24 years.  Although we are happy, like many other couples, the routine of daily life set in and I was bored.  Perhaps it comes at a certain age where you realize you have more behind you and strive to make each day count.  

We became aware of the lifestyle a few years ago when we were approached by a couple at the airport while waiting to board a plane to Mexico. Apparently, they were heading to a swinger’s resort and believed we were as well.  

After this incident at the airport, I became curious and started to research the lifestyle.  My wife had no interest and did not want to discuss the possibility.  

Fast forward 3 years and my wife was finally ready to explore the lifestyle.  After reading blogs and asking questions on forums, she began to show some excitement at the possibilities.  My wife has never been a prude and her renewed interest in sex and exploration was exciting for us both.  Realizing that many women in the lifestyle identify as bisexual really piqued her interest.

We did our research about different clubs in our area and chose one.  She bought some sexy clothes and shoes and we were looking forward to our first lifestyle night out.  Then came COVID, the club shut down and we had to put this venture on hold.

As the months dragged on, my wife began to worry that we would never have the chance to explore the lifestyle.  Her birthday was fast approaching and then it hit me.  Buy her lifestyle jewelry!

My wife loves the necklace I bought and she wears it every day.  Although we don’t get out much,  she puts it on every morning. In any case, just seeing it turns me on.  Hopefully, I will be writing back soon to tell you that it worked its magic!

Seems silly but this necklace has become a symbol of things to come for us.  Now I’m hoping she will reciprocate and buy me a black ring.  

Wish you a happy and healthy holiday season!

Cheers!

Walter and Katrina

How this NY couple discovered their friends are swingers too!

Swinger symbol jewelry necklace

Dear Partners ID,

We often read your blogs and always enjoy the stories about how other swingers have met each other because of your jewelry.  I have to admit, we were not even in the lifestyle when we first came across your website.  We found it because we were researching swinging to decide if seemed like a good fit for us.  

One of your blogs popped up when we first began our search and we liked Penny’s tongue in cheek style of writing.  We have been reading them ever since.

My wife and I are in our mid-fifties and have been married for a little over 20 years.  We have one son who no longer lives at home so we are now essentially empty nesters.  Sex has always been an important part of our relationship, so it was natural for us to look for something erotic that we could do as a couple.  

When we investigated swinging, we were totally shocked to read so many forums debating what age is too old to swing.  I, for one, imagined swinging was something for older couples who had been married for many years.  Baby boomers came to mind when I thought of swingers.  After all, isn’t swinging something couples do to spice up their marriage?  

Clearly, I was wrong.  Swingers seem to range in age from 20s through 60s (and even 70s).  Wow!  So we had to hit the reset button and try to open our minds to what swinging actually encompasses.  

We began checking out some swinger dating sites and looked to see if there were any swing clubs within a reasonable distance to our home.  All the while, my wife and I couldn’t help but wonder if we weren’t actually already friends with swingers.  Would we know?  

Next, we bought a necklace for each of us and wore them every time we went out.  

Well, it didn’t take long!  The second weekend after receiving the jewelry, we wore our necklaces to a friend’s housewarming party.  A couple we have known for at least 5 or 6 years approached us not long after we arrived.  They kissed us hello and the woman turned to her husband and said, “I knew it!”

She moved close to my wife and fondled the pendant which was hanging from her necklace.   We both looked at them, hoping we understood what was happening.  

What we discovered was that we do have friends in the lifestyle!  The funny thing is that they suspected we were swingers long before we had ever thought about it.  

The best part about this, is that we have friends who are now helping us to navigate the lifestyle!

Thank you for the lovely jewelry, we will keep you up to date on our new adventures!

Stay well,

Julie and Mark

Great Neck, NY

Looking to meet other swingers? Wearing our lifestyle jewelry makes it easy for others to know that you too are in the lifestyle!

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Important qualities to look for, and what to avoid, when choosing a couple with whom to swing.

Swinger couple smiling wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

Why is swinging sometimes more enjoyable than others?

Swingers are always looking to meet the right couple (In this blog we are talking about couples) with whom to play. While we cannot predict which time it will work perfectly, there must be reasons why sometimes swinging is so much better than others.

What makes some experiences so much more positive than others?

You invite another couple to your home for an evening with the hopes of swinging. First, you have drinks, then a nice dinner, conversation, and then you settle in for some fun.

Take your time and make sure everyone seems to be on the same page.

Everything up to this point has been fun and easy. The hot tub looks inviting and so you all decide to climb in. It doesn’t take long for you and your partner to switch with the other couple and start fooling around.

One couple moves inside to the bedroom while the other couple remains outside. You play for a brief time and soon your partner arrives at the bed with the other person. Everyone kisses each other and lightly touches as they move next to you on the bed. The next few hours are fun and everyone is happy.

You see, swinging is so easy, right?

The answer is, when the situation works, yes. When everyone is on the same page and nobody feels slighted or left out, this is the result. Easy, fun, and you and your partner are happy.

Why then is it so often more complicated than this? What happens to contribute to a negative experience?

In my opinion, there are many variables when playing with other couples. One important factor is that both members of the couple are interested in playing with the couple you choose. If one is doing it to please the other, it will not work. We speak often about taking one for the team. While it is unavoidable at times, when planning an evening with specific people, there is no excuse for this.

What are some of the characteristics that make couples a bad choice when trying to decide?

(We are not talking about strangers here, we are strictly speaking about couples you have met before.) Some couples cannot seem to avoid drama. Either there are jealousy issues, one person is more eager to play and the other seems to simply go along, they bad mouth other swingers, some have insecurity issues, etc. Any of these issues will undoubtedly cause trouble when you try to swing with them. Besides, who wants to play with a couple who is going to talk about you after the fact?

What are some qualities you should look for in other swingers?

Good choices are couples who are connected to each other. It is clear that they love and support one another. They do not speak negatively about their partner or claim to be a better catch than their significant other.

Connected couples speak highly of one another and interact in a positive way. They are thoughtful of each other’s feelings and always look to make sure their partner is happy and comfortable. Playing with another couple is clearly something they enjoy for the moment and then they reconnect.

Happy couples make swinging fun. They seem happy when they arrive and they look happy when they leave. On the other hand, couples with issues create an unpleasant atmosphere and are often seen arguing or fighting during or after lifestyle events. These are couples to avoid, after all, who wants to host a couple who will leave your home in a fight?

Swinging is wonderful when it is fun.

When swinging becomes work, most people would agree, they would prefer not to bother. Making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is the most important thing to remember. What is good for you, is good for them. Don’t do to your partner what you would not want to be done to you. If swinging can be done in a positive way, it will enrich your relationship. If you are swinging to make your partner happy, it will never work. Other couples will become the victims of your concession, and that benefits no one.

The next time you are looking for that perfect evening at home with that perfect swinging couple, think about them. Are they happy and drama-free? Do they frequently leave lifestyle events hand in hand or are they arguing as they leave? Is one of them enjoying the sex while the other is laying there staring at the ceiling?  These are things to consider if you want to have fun!

Good luck!

Looking for lifestyle jewelry so other swingers can find you?  Shop here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/