Lifestyle resorts are fabulous vacations for both seasoned and new swingers alike.

Swingers wearing Partners ID jewelry at a lifestyle resort
Swingers wearing Partners ID jewelry at a lifestyle resort

Lifestyle resorts are like summer camp for swingers.

From the time you step foot off the plane until you step back onto the plane, you are in for non stop fun. Vacations are meant to be fun filled and relaxing at the same time, and lifestyle resorts offer the best of both worlds. Most swingers who have been to one of the resorts return home with stories of fun and excitement.

What about couples who are not actually swingers, but rather are curious about the lifestyle? Is a lifestyle resort a place they might enjoy?

That totally depends on the couple. I say ‘couple’ because some resorts don’t even allow single guests. For many swingers, they appreciate the more relaxed atmosphere that this rule creates.

Many couples hear about swinging and they think they are ready to jump right in, while others would like to test the waters a bit before committing to anything with anyone. They are in the “I just want to watch” mode and so they worry that these resorts might not be the right place for them. Lifestyle resorts are actually a wonderful way for both types of newbies to get a close up look at what swinging is really like. For those who just want to observe, there is no pressure to be involved because of the shear number of people around. For those who want to jump in with both feet, there will be plenty of swingers who would be happy to show you the ropes.

Some lifestyle resorts are more upscale in terms of the accommodations and the food. If this is important to you, pay close attention to online reviews. One thing that is especially important is to try to book your trip when there is a swinger group expected at the resort. The resorts are always liveliest when swinger groups are scheduled to be there.

The different lifestyle resorts also seem to attract different age groups. Some attract the younger groups and some others tend to host more of the older swingers. This is especially important if age matters to you. A word of caution: younger crowds do not necessarily mean more swinging. Again, try to coordinate your trip with specific swinger groups to make sure the resort is not too quiet.

In terms of having your first ever swinging experience at a lifestyle resort, you have to know what you are comfortable with before you arrive. Communicate with your partner regarding what you are hoping for while you are there and what is absolutely off limits.

Without a doubt, if you are looking to swing, this will be possible at any lifestyle resort. The important this is to have this conversation before you arrive. Make sure both of you are on the same page. If you want to jump right in a swap with another couple, make sure your partner agrees with this. Seasoned swingers do not like to find themselves in between a couple who is arguing or unhappy. If you discuss things before you leave, this should make the experience smoother and more enjoyable for everyone.

Check the website before you go as most places have theme nights at their clubs. You will be expected to dress in theme if you want to attend the clubs.

Some lifestyle resorts are clothing optional while some enforce nudity. These types of lifestyle resorts usually attract both nudists and swingers. Do not confuse nudists with swingers as they are not interchangeable. One of the reasons we developed the lifestyle jewelry was to make it easy to know who the swingers are while vacationing at resorts such as these. Make sure the resort you are looking into hosts swingers as some naturist resorts do not.

Will people expect you to play?

This is a logical concern for those new to the lifestyle and the answer is no. Nobody will expect anything from you, especially if you make it clear at the start.
Don’t flirt with other couples and lead them on if you have no intention of following through. Most swingers think if couples are at these resorts it is because they are looking to play with others.

Will we be able to watch other couples play if we are not playing?

Yes, it is not uncommon to see couples playing on the beach or in the water. If you wander around at night you can see people all around playing. Some leave their hotel doors open so others can come in and watch. Many times there are games during the day at the pool or foam parties and lots of people will be playing then as well.

The best part for new couples is that it will give them a chance to meet other swingers and see how nice and inclusive most of them can be. The vacation is intended to be fun and swingers know how to have a good time.

What resorts have you been to that you would recommend?

We have been to Desire Riviera Maya, Desire Pearl, Cap D’agde, Secrets Hideaway, Caliente and Hedonism. We have been to a few others but they were too small to call them resorts. We had a great time at each place and we like them all for different reasons.

The best way to choose is to go online and take a look at each place. Their locations vary so sometimes that will make the decision for you. Read the reviews on each and go to forums on different sites to ask other people’s opinions.

No matter which place you choose, don’t go with preconceived notions as to what will happen when you are there. No expectations means you cannot be disappointed that something did not go as planned. If you want something to happen, chances are it will Be friendly and open minded and enjoy!

Desire Riviera Maya frequently runs specials and discounts.  They are currently running a promotion for 2 free nights in a raffle when you sign up with your email address.  Visit our trusted friends page for the link or click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/advertisers/

 

Desire Riviera Maya Pearl Resort Special Events Calendar
Desire Riviera Maya Pearl Resort Special Events Calendar
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Turns out, the cop who stopped a customer is a swinger too!

Woman with Partners ID bracelet taking a card from a policeman
Woman with Partners ID bracelet taking a card from a policeman

 

We read all of your stories about how people have met other swingers by wearing your jewelry and I want to share what happened to me.

I purchased a bracelet from you a few months ago but don’t wear it all of the time. I usually wear it when we go out at night to pubs and such but never thought to wear it during the day.

Last weekend we went out with some swinger friends and had a bit too much to drink. We were in no condition to drive home so we all piled into a cab and went to our friend’s house for the night. The next morning, my hubby and his buddy were busy doing some work around his buddy’s house so I asked his wife to please drive me back to the pub to pick up our car.

Before heading back to get my hubby, I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some aspirin as my head was pounding from all of the alcohol. I was driving back toward my friend’s house when all of the sudden I see the flashing blue lights behind me. I pull over and wait for the cop to tell me what the hell I did wrong. He walks over and tells me I was doing 72 mph in a 40 mph zone. Oops! My bad! I hadn’t even realized I was driving that fast. He asks me for my license and registration and when I reach out the window to hand it to him he starts to smile. I have no idea what his problem is but I’m happy to see him smiling! He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a set of keys and there was the key ring with the pendant on it! How lucky am I???

Needless to say, he did not give me a ticket but did tell me about a swing club about 40 miles away that he goes to with his girlfriend. He gave me his my card and said if my hubby and I would like to meet them at this club one night to text him and let him know.

I am going to text him soon and set up a date to meet him (he was very cute), but more importantly, I didn’t get a ticket!

I now consider this my lucky bracelet! Had I not stayed over at a friend’s house the night before, I would not have been wearing it! Lucky!

Hope it brings everyone else as much luck as it has brought me!

xoxox
Cherie

What would you do if people discovered you are a swinger?

     What if people in your neighborhood, at your child’s school, at your place of worship or at work suspected you were a swinger?  They probably would not know for sure unless they have spotted you at a swinger club or lifestyle event.  In that case, they were there too so it would be ok.  But what if they see or hear something that puts you in a spot that makes denying it very difficult? Would you admit to it or try your hardest to contest what people are pretty sure they know about you?

We were out to dinner a few weeks ago with a couple we often hang out with who are in the lifestyle.  My partner and I stepped outside for a smoke.  When we came back inside, the table was still not ready so we went to the bar. I had looked for a mint when we walked back inside but did not see any.  I asked my partner if he had a piece of gum but he did not.  Our male friend, turned to me and said, “Here, take mine.”  I thought nothing of it.  I put my mouth up to his and he popped the gum into my mouth.  No big deal, right?   I mean I play with this guy all the time; we have done worse.   Wrong.  You know when you have that sense that someone is looking at you?  I turn my head and across the bar I see some vanilla friends and they are all staring at me with their mouths open.  All I could think of was that there is absolutely nothing I can say that would fix this.  I am usually pretty good at thinking quickly in tight spots but I have to tell you, I had nothing!  During dinner, the four of us spent at least 30 minutes after sitting down at our table trying to think of something I could say to make what they witnessed appear normal.  We could not come with anything!  We decided to avoid them at all costs while at the restaurant and hope they would forget about it.  They did stop by our table to say hello but nobody said anything.

I would like to be able tell you that I was able to think of something to say about this when I ran into one of the girls from the bar the following week while picking up my kids from school. Unfortunately I could not think of anything to say that would make that one moment appear normal. What could I possibly tell her that would make this all go away?  I decided to ignore it and hope she would not mention it.  No such luck.  Within the first two minutes of our conversation she questioned me about the couple we were with that evening.    I told her they are old friends of mine from high school.  She then mentioned what she saw.    I did what any good swinger would do; deny, deny, deny.  I laughed and told her she was crazy.  I even threw in an “Ew!  Why would I do that?  That’s just gross!”   The look on her face told me she did not believe a word I had said.

Many years ago, we spent a wild Saturday night in a swing club where we played with a couple and had a lot of fun.   The next day, I was a bit hung over, but as we all know, children really do not care how you are feeling when they want to do something.  As promised, I took my daughter to the mall to look for  a dress for an upcoming party.  We walked into a store and who is in there but the woman from the previous night that we had played with.  She was there with her daughter shopping as well.  She turned and spotted me as we walked into the store and smiled and said hello.  We talked for a moment and then we both turned our attention back to our girls.  I overheard her daughter ask her mother who I was and how she knew me.  I laughed to myself and thought:  I screwed the heck out of your dad last night, that’s how your mom knows me!  My daughter said nothing at the time but later mentioned in the car that she thought it was odd that I have friends that she has neither heard about or met.  I assured her that as parents it is normal for us to know people that she does not, but I could see from her expression that she felt something was not quite right.

We went with a lifestyle couple to a restaurant years ago that was off the beaten path figuring we would not see anyone we know.   It was very small and very hard to find but it was nice and cozy inside.  We sat at the bar while we waited for a table.  I sat next to the man from the other couple and my husband sat next to his wife.  We had a few drinks and laughed as a group,  all the while the man had his arm draped behind my back and was playing with my hair.  The hostess came over and let us know our table was ready.  We all stood up from the bar and  turned around.  At the table right behind where we were sitting was a girl who worked at the front desk where I get my hair done.  Sitting beside her was a friend who lives in my neighborhood and is the biggest gossip I know.  They pretended not to see me so I did the same.  Once again, I could not even think of anything I could say, so I said nothing.  I think it was that night that I decided that there was a very high probability that people in my town knew I was a swinger.

When I came to the realization that people in my community probably at least suspect that I am in the lifestyle, I thought about it long and hard.  I tried to imagine what they were thinking.  I imagined that they envisioned the same thing that I had prior to entering a swing club for myself.  Older men with polyester shirts open to their navel, touching girl’s asses as they walk by; middle aged women trying desperately to appear young and sexy with their fishnet dresses revealing pudgy bodies while teetering around in stiletto heels.  Where does she fit into this picture, I am sure they would be wondering.  No doubt they were picturing groups of people groping each other on dirty mattresses, again, trying to envision me in the midst of the sweaty insanity.  In my own mind, I know that this is a completely inaccurate description of any swing club I have ever been to.  Swing clubs have become beautiful, upscale clubs with very accomplished, successful and attractive couples; not at all what one would imagine if they have never been to one.  More importantly is that I decided that although I will never share my private life with the curiosity seekers who live near me, I am not ashamed to be a swinger.  This is the lifestyle we have chosen and we have never been happier.  When you discover the excitement, the fun, the friends that you find in the lifestyle there is no turning back.  I look at vanilla couples as people who are missing out on something truly wonderful.  It is not so much about the sex as much as it is about the lifestyle as a whole.  It is so liberating to lead such an open and honest life with your partner!  We are a team, we are partners in crime, we have secrets together, not from each other.  Maybe that is why swingers tend to stay in relationships longer; they have no reason to leave.

Being a swinger is like having an open door to live out your sexual fantasies!

truckblonde   Everyone has a fantasy of some sort.  Everyone has at least one sexual fantasy.  Most people probably have a repertoire of sexual fantasies.  How many people have ever told someone what their fantasies are?  For people who are not in the lifestyle, the thought of exposing these fantasies to anyone is impossible to imagine.  Perhaps for some people this is something they discuss with close friends but how many people would tell their partner?  Should this not be a part of an intimate relationship?  Are people fearful that their partner will laugh?  Be appalled?  Be scared?

What are sexual fantasies and why are they so common?  There are an endless amount of sexual fantasies that are common among men and women.  Although they tend to vary between sexes some themes are more common than others.  Some of the more common sexual fantasies are:

  1.  Having sex with someone you know, either a coworker, boss, employee, neighbor, friend, etc.
  2.  Something in the fetish category:  whips and chains, spanking and dominating, submissive sex, etc.
  3.  Having sex in public
  4. Exhibitionism – having others watch you having sex
  5. Voyuerism – watching others having sex
  6. Multiple partners — having sex with more than one person
  7. Gang bangs — either watching or being watched
  8. Masturbating oneself while their partner watches
  9. Girl on girl action — men and women both seem to want this!

You get the point!  The list could go on and on…

Do pent up fantasies contribute to people having affairs outside of their marriage?  Perhaps they do.  This is where swingers benefit!  If most people in the lifestyle were to look at the list above, they would agree that they have participated in many of those fantasies and more.  What is more wonderful than turning fantasy into reality?  Especially when you are engaging in these fantasies with your partner or with your partner nearby?  This is what helps build an open, honest relationship.  No secrets!  How wonderful to be able to open that door with the person you love and share it!

When couples are swingers, every lifestyle event holds promise of a new and exciting adventure.  New people, new situations, new fantasies.  There is no longer a need to make up scenarios secretly in your mind while having sex with your partner.  As every couples knows, there are only so many different positions and so many rooms in your house to have sex in.  After many years together it becomes more and more difficult to think of ways to keep things exciting.  It’s not that you don’t love your partner, it’s that sex can become routine and boring.  Imagine if the two of you were to discuss your secret fantasies.  Better yet, imagine if the two of you went out and tried to fulfill them together.

What could be more exciting than that?

 

Swingers who are young have become a big part of the new lifestyle landscape.

Swingers who are young, make a up a relatively large portion of couples who are new to swinging.  What makes them choose this path at such a young age?

Swingers who are young, are a relatively new phenomenon in the lifestyle.  When we think of swingers, the picture that comes to mind tends to be that of a middle aged couple who have been married for many years.  It makes sense for people to see a couple who has been united for a long time entering the lifestyle in search of something new and exciting.  This couple has, after all, been in a long term relationship.   Generally, they have children and busy lives but are looking for something to enrich their relationship together.  We can understand why the lifestyle would appeal to these couples.  It is not as easy, however, to understand what brings younger aged swingers into the lifestyle.  Over the past few years the lifestyle has seen a dramatic increase in the number of couples under the age of 40 and even couples under the age of 30.  What brings them into the lifestyle and what are they looking for?

Most swingers say that their decision to enter the lifestyle did not come easily or quickly.

For many couples, they were married for many years and found themselves in a sexual rut.  They tried porn and strip clubs and role playing and sharing fantasies but they were looking for something more.  Many couples confessed that they fantasized about playing with other people they know, such as friends and coworkers, but did not want to be unfaithful or destroy their relationships.  The decision to try swinging was mutual and for most couples, even when they agreed to check it out, it took some time before they actually stepped inside a lifestyle venue.

This brings us to the newer generation of swingers.

Based on their age alone, it is not possible that most have been together for a long period of time.  Most couples under the age of 40 have not been together for more than 10 years or so; for the under 30 crowd, less than that.  This means they cannot use the argument that they have been together for 20+ years and have fallen into a rut.  Why then, after this short a period of time are couples already looking to swing?  It could be that swinging is less underground than it was just ten years ago.  It is not hard to go online and find a club or site to meet other swingers.  There are many articles and blogs available as well which give vanilla couples insight into the swingers world which did not exist only a few short years ago.  This means that more people are aware of the lifestyle than in the past.  Perhaps some of the older swingers would have been apart of the lifestyle when they were younger had they known about it.

This generation is different from previous generations.

Most people would think that the baby boomers would be the most sexually open generation as they grew up in the era of sex, drugs and rock and roll.  Sure they had their Woodstock and their wild times but were they really more open than the generations that followed; perhaps not.   Consider generation X, which includes people born from 1975-1985.  These people are part of the MTV generation, they were growing up during the rise of mass media and were exposed to things at a much younger age than the previous generations were.  They had access to information that nobody before them had.  Let us consider that the most provocative thing baby boomers were able to see for most of their younger lives was a Playboy magazine and they were not easy to come by.   As they hit early adulthood XXX movies on VCRs were pretty risqué and kept well hidden.  Generation X had access to porn from the time they were old enough to use the internet.  A good many kids in this generation were having sex at very young ages and experimenting with group sex, public sex and bisexuality by the time they were in high school.  Ecstasy was the drug of choice for this generation and it has a reputation that fuels the notion that this generation might be more sexual than people in the 1960s were.   It is not hard to understand then, why these young couples might get bored much faster than the previous generation and seek out something more exciting.

As the lifestyle keeps evolving and enticing more people, it is nice to see young people enjoy the atmosphere and warmth of the lifestyle.

Perhaps this younger generation will slow down the divorce rate with their more open minded ways.  Although couples who swing obviously also can divorce, they generally are not divorcing due to infidelity!  According to Dr. William H. Doherty, noted marriage scholar and therapist, 55% of the time, infidelity is the reason for a divorce.  That is an extremely large number of couples citing this as the primary reason for their divorce.  It is uncommon for couples in the lifestyle to have this problem as swinging is something couples do together and would not consider swinging as a form of cheating.  Keeping this in mind, perhaps younger swingers are on to something.

As this more youthful generation of swingers are a new edition to the lifestyle, it is too soon to tell what path this will lead them down.  My gut tells me that they will benefit from having a more open and honest approach to keeping their marriage happy and exciting.  Only time will tell!