Swingers in Canada discovered their swinger radar was defective.

swinging couple wearing partners id jewelryMy husband and I have been swinging for the past 25 years.  When we first got into swinging, it was underground.  It was illegal and nobody spoke about it.   

Before we really even knew about swinging, our neighbors and we used to splash around naked in our hot tub.  Eventually, this moved onto skinny dipping and having sex side by side.  We never touched our neighbors and they never touched us.  The evenings spent with our neighbors left us giddy and excited.  

It wasn’t until a few years later that someone told us about a “warm club.”  Having never heard of such a thing we became curious and asked if they would take us there.

Soon after they phoned us and asked us to go with them that Saturday night.  We agreed.  We were both excited and nervous about going there.  Long story short, we loved it, and have been swinging ever since. 

The reason for my email is to talk about your jewelry.  Back when we were younger and swinging was very hush-hush, the only place to think about meeting other swingers was at this club.  That is not to say that our eyes didn’t wander when we were out at restaurants and bars!  We often wondered about the people we met.

One summer, we took a trip to Boston to attend my niece’s wedding.  We arrived a few days before the wedding to explore the city.  One evening we went out for dinner, then stopped at a bar before heading back to our hotel.  There was a couple about the same age as us sitting next to us at the bar.  

We struck up a conversation and spent the next two hours laughing and enjoying their company.  We were absolutely certain they were swingers.   The man put his hand on my leg when he told a story and the woman at one point pushed the hair out of my eyes.  

As they were paying their bar tab, my husband and I whispered to each other that we were certain about them.  We had a lot of experience in the lifestyle at this point, and we knew swingers when we met them.  

As they turned to wave goodnight to us, my husband asked if they would like to come back to the hotel with us.  The look of confusion on their faces immediately made me know that we had been wrong.  My husband was slightly drunk and added that we had two queen size beds, plenty of room for everyone!  The couple looked shocked, grabs their coats and left.

How I wish this was the end of my story…

We saw them again during our stay in Boston.  It was the groom’s aunt and uncle.  We ended up at the same wedding two nights later.  It was a rather small group so it was impossible to avoid them.  We were so embarrassed that we didn’t know how to handle it!  When we found ourselves face to face with them, they looked away and pretended not to know us.  

It was a truly awful experience.  

The need for some type of swinger symbol is not new and we are thrilled that someone took the bull by the horns and created one!

Today, it is easy to simply look to see if someone is wearing this sign.  If we spot it, we go and talk to them.  If not, we will never, ever take that chance again.

Lesson learned!

Debbie and Mike

Ottawa, ON 

Canada

Why do swingers seem so much younger than their vanilla counterparts?

woman in swinger lifestyle wearing partners ID jewelry

A coworker recently asked what I had done over the weekend.  Without thinking I said, “A gang bang and 2 very sexy women.”  When I realized what I had said and I saw the look on my coworkers face, I went into panic mode.  Thankfully, that’s when I woke up from this nightmare!

Imagine if swingers could actually be honest with people about how we spend our time.  So often people comment on how I stay in good shape or the fact that my hair or nails are always impeccable.  Well, yea, I’m a swinger!  I spend every weekend at a swing club and many weekends at a nude beach.  It is important for me to look good!

Maybe people who are in the swinger lifestyle are more in tune with their bodies because we don’t keep them covered very often.  Wearing sexy clothing and shoes are one of the fun aspects of going out to swing clubs.  Although on occasion you will spot a woman in jeans and flip flops, it is very rare.  Most swingers dress to impress.

Swinging is a lot like dating.  The goal is to find others with whom to play.  Obviously, like when you are dating, you want to put your best foot forward.  Looking good is certainly a plus.

For those not in the lifestyle, it is easy to stop trying to impress your significant other.  They see you at your best and they see you at your worst and they still love you.  Perhaps this can cause people to become complacent.  After all, once you have settled in with a partner, there are more important things to worry about, right?

Not for swingers!  

When we first entered the lifestyle I was shocked by how much younger swingers seemed.  I can remember meeting couples who were closer to my parent’s age than my own.  It was amazing how fit and sexy they were. Not to mention how open-minded their attitudes were!  I could only attribute these characteristics to the fact that they were in the lifestyle.

The lifestyle takes sex from being an obligation to the exciting fun it was when you first met.  It turns fantasies into realities!  Lifestyle vacations are like sleep-away camp.  All of your friends are there to have fun together.

The lifestyle creates a very busy social life for people who are looking to get involved.  Between meet and greets, parties, swing clubs, hotel takeovers, cruises, and lifestyle resorts there is a lot going on!  Even simply having dinner with lifestyle friends is different.  The conversations are sexier and everyone is looking to have a good time.

Life is exciting when you have things to look forward to.  That is not to say that vanilla people don’t have things to look forward to; obviously, they do.  What swingers look forward to are endless events and parties.  From Sunday Funday to Saturday night specials, every day is a party!  There are many swingers who have already booked cruises for 2021 and beyond!  

It seems that swingers have really found the fountain of youth.  Life can be difficult and stressful but when we put on our swinger hats it is all about fun.  The serious stuff can wait until the next morning!  

Perhaps those in the swinger lifestyle seem younger than their vanilla counterparts for good reasons.  They are active, they are free and they have endless opportunities for fun to look forward to. 

Exploring your fantasies and watching your spouse do the same can be intoxicating!  Flirting with others, having sex with different people all while maintaining a loving relationship with your spouse is beyond compare.  When life is this much fun, who wants to get old?

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Think lifestyle cruises are only for swingers? Think again…

Lifestyle couple wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

Lifestyle cruises are great!  Sailing out on the big beautiful sea, visiting exotic destinations and best of all, meeting a lot of new people.  

One of the things that many swingers do not realize is that nudists also enjoy lifestyle cruises.  Beautiful ships, great food and entertainment, no kids and the chance to be naked.   Lifestyle vacations are the only kind that offers these opportunities, so it is only natural that nudists would also seek them out.

Many swingers have the mistaken belief that lifestyle cruises are only for swingers.  If you look at their advertisements you would realize this is not the case.  Take Bliss Cruise* for example: 

Experience the World’s Only

Lifestyle Cruise

An adults-only, clothing optional cruise experience for carefree couples looking for fun and exciting adult vacations

Clearly, they are looking for adults who enjoy clothing optional vacations.  They never mention swingers or nudists, which leaves it open to anyone.

This is where the confusion starts; how to tell the difference between a nudist and a swinger.  Short of coming right out and asking, you can never really be sure.  The problem with this is that swingers want to meet other swingers, and nudists have no interest in swingers.  This is not to mention the couples who stumble upon the adult only theme, which appeals to them strictly because there are no kids.

This is the reason we created lifestyle jewelry.  Imagine simply slipping on a piece of jewelry and others would know right away that you, too, are in the lifestyle.  If every swinger on the cruise was wearing this jewelry, it would make things so easy.  No more wasting time trying to figure out who is a swinger and who is not.

When you stop in a port, and everyone goes their separate ways, it is impossible to know who was on the ship. If everyone was wearing this jewelry, it would be very easy to spot them.   It is nice to be able to know who is a part of your group when you are visiting a destination.

Our lifestyle jewelry was designed to help swingers to identify each other without exposing themselves to others.  It is sold all over the world and we get emails
all the time from customers who have found each other because of the jewelry.

Stop wondering, start playing!  Visit our jewelry collection here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

*Bliss Cruise :   http://www.blisscruise.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwkIzlBRDzARIsABgXqV94d5LzMKQqZHElQ-YH6f3bIm7Nl95FIpIVvlbI44euxGj7La9BWVsaAqvHEALw_wcB

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When vanilla friends become a little too nosy…

Vanilla women

How many times have your vanilla friends (for those of you who still have them) wanted to know where you were going and with whom?  It seems whenever you tell vanilla friends you have other plans, they become curious.  Especially if it happens on a regular basis. 

When we first started making excuses for being unavailable to our vanilla friends, my husband and I would joke how ‘mom’ called.  It wasn’t either of our moms, it was a nosy vanilla friend.  Each conversation with her started with her asking what we did the previous weekend and with whom.

 Prior to entering the lifestyle we would make plans with friends on a regular basis, sometimes weeks in advance.  Saturday was usually spent at dinner or a movie.  

When we discovered strip clubs, we became less available or started ending nights out with friends earlier than in the past.  It was easy because strip clubs were better later at night.  When we discovered a swing club not far away, we became more and more unavailable over a short period of time.  

Our goal each week, was to keep Saturday night free so we could go to the club.  We even had a code name for the club so that nobody would know what we were talking about if they overheard our conversations.  Were we being paranoid?  I don’t think so, people really wanted answers! 

Over time, as we tried to force our vanilla friends to see us on Fridays. Not long after, we would only make ourselves available to them during the week.  At this point, some of our friends became suspicious.  We turned down invitations to just about every vanilla event we were invited to.  We had discovered swinging and that was all we wanted to do.  

As we made friends in the lifestyle, this group became our social life.  Sometimes we would meet at a restaurant before heading to the club.  This is when we discovered how difficult it was to have any privacy.  That’s right, going out to dinner with lifestyle friends became fodder for anyone who saw us.  It seemed not to matter how remote a restaurant we chose.  As luck would have it, we always seemed to run into someone we knew. 

Soon “mom” was back on the phone wanting to know who our new friends were.  The first time I got the call I was taken aback.  I tried to imagine how this was any of her business.  Since she had not actually seen us, I knew someone had told her. Then I tried to imagine why people were talking about us.  We do not live in a small town per se, but many people know each other.  Same schools, same churches,  temples, same after school activities, etc.  

So what made our lives suddenly so interesting that people were talking about us?  “Mom” casually mentioned that we seemed to be avoiding our old group of friends.  I pointed out that the previous week we had met them for dinner.  How could we be avoiding them if we saw them a few days ago?

It seems that making new friends, especially people that are from another town or city, raises eyebrows.  Suddenly “mom” was asking how we met them.  Don’t think  “mom” was the only person asking, she was simply the only one brave or nosy enough to confront me.

It made us wonder how much people really deserved to know.  Do we actually owe it to others to explain our whereabouts or our new friends?  Is it normal for “friends” to demand to know why you are not free to spend more time with them?

My husband and I had even considered telling one couple that was part of that group of friends about the lifestyle.  We thought they might be open to the whole idea of swinging.  After much thought, we decided against it.  If they were not open to it, we would be exposing ourselves and did not want to risk that.

The lifestyle resulted in our decision to completely remove ourselves from this former group of friends.  We soon realized that these people are very judgmental and if they were to discover the truth, we would no longer be friends.  Knowing this, we chose to drift away.

The question remained for us:  Why is it anyone’s business how we spend our free time?  Why must swingers always make up excuses so that they can do what they want?  Lying and making up stories and excuses is exhausting.  We are adults and should be free to live our lives without judgment.

For all of the nosy people out there:  stop worrying about what others are doing and with whom they are doing it.  We are forced to lie and sneak around to avoid judgment from people like you.  Don’t you have anything better to do?

The sad part is, many people in the lifestyle end up having to choose between the lifestyle and maintaining vanilla friendships.  Perhaps most people choose lifestyle friends simply because we have more in common with each other.  They also don’t judge or wonder what we are doing when we are busy with something else.

Bottom line, swingers do not owe anyone an explanation about how they spend their free time.  Where we go nights, weekends and on vacation is nobody’s business.  We have discovered a wonderful, carefree life in the lifestyle and have no plans to change this any time soon.  So butt out…

If you are looking for lifestyle jewelry you have come to the right place!  Check out our jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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I love swinging! When it is simple…

Difficult couple new to swinging

Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama.  When it comes to swinging, it is no different.

Swinging is something people do for enjoyment.  Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun.  If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenaged children.

The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night.  You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time.  Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.

A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there,   meeting friends and people you do not know, having a few drinks,  and heading into a play area.  You find another couple (or single), everybody plays, everybody is happy, you leave.  That’s not so hard, right?

For many couples it is simple.  They have conversations about what works for the both of them. The problem usually begins when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.

So what is drama in the lifestyle?  Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong?  Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:

1.  Someone is too drunk to play.
2.  One of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice.
3.  The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4.  One of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5.  The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6.  One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7.  They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8.  One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9.  One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10.  One gets upset and leaves during play.

When couples find themselves in situations such as these it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.

How can you avoid ending up with couples who are like this?  Unfortunately, with the exception someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance.  Sometimes even when a couple says they are full swap or ready to play, they are not.

Couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with.  If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront.  Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well.

Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun.  Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment.  If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.

Bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…

If you are in the lifestyle and are looking to find other swingers, try wearing our lifestyle jewelry. It holds the international symbol for swingers: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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How wearing our lifestyle necklace made friends out of complete strangers.

Swinger friends wearing Partners ID necklaces

 

 

Hi Partners ID,

The moment we discovered lifestyle jewelry existed, we knew we had to have it.  We discovered your jewelry during a trip to Fun for Two, a swing club in Holland.  Another couple was wearing it and telling some people all about it. As soon as we returned from our trip, we ordered two necklaces.

I think it was my second day wearing the necklace that this happened. During my lunch break from work, I always make a deposit at the bank and stop at the post office.  As I was walking into the post office the person who was exiting came through the entry door and bumped into me.  The mail I was carrying fell to the ground.   The two of us bent down to retrieve the mail from the floor at the same time.  He apologized profusely and then gave me a funny smile.  I thought perhaps I knew him but he did not look familiar.  

As we stood up he commented on my necklace.  He told me he has the same one and then explained that he was in a rush to get back to work.  His hand extended with a business card in it and he asked me to be in touch.  “Yes, I am married,” he called to me as he briskly walked off.

It happened so fast I could barely believe it!  Over dinner that evening, my husband and I discussed it and he was curious.  When it comes to the lifestyle, he has always been the contact person and so I handed the card to him.  He phoned the number, and after speaking for quite a while,  the men made plans for us all to get together.  

That was a few months ago and we have seen them almost every weekend since that day!  If it can happen to me, it can happen to everyone.  

Thanks, we love our jewelry!

Tristin and Emil

Toronto, Ca

To see our line of lifestyle jewelry, click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Why is someone’s sex life ever up for public scrutiny?

 

 

Women gossiping about other's sex lives

 

Reading the article which is intended to shame Roger Stone for being a “card-carrying” swinger, really made me mad.  Trust me, this is not about politics and I have no intention of going down that rabbit hole.  This is simply about seeing headlines each week where someone’s sex life being splashed across the headlines.  Presumably, the media is looking to shame people for their sexual ‘improprieties’.

Last week it was Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots.  While some claim the story was to shine a light on massage parlors and human trafficking, it seemed primarily aimed at shaming Kraft. 

I am not defending anyone or looking to debate how people should conduct themselves in their personal lives.  What bothers me is why this is anyone’s business.  Why should anyone care what people do in their private life?  As long as people are not hurting anyone, should their sex lives be exploited like cheap fodder for journalists and tabloids?

Does a person’s sex life interfere with what they can do on a day to day basis?  Is it impossible to be a good employee because you enjoy non-traditional sex?  Should we really judge anyone because of their sexual interests, desires or even perversions?

Let us take Bill Clinton as an example.  While having an affair with Monica Lewinsky does not interest me in the slightest, using the Oval Office does.  Had his dallying taken place in his bedroom (or hers), there would have been no reason for the public to become involved.  His decision to have an affair really did not affect his ability to do his job.  Cheating on his wife is between he and Hillary.  We can argue that it makes him dishonest, but that is a whole different story.

I always find it interesting how Americans can’t get enough of these types of stories.  They seem horrified when someone famous is exposed for doing something countless others do on a regular basis.  (The mention of Americans is because these types of stories are not headlines in other countries.)

Often times we hear swingers talking about how important it is for them to keep their lifestyle a secret.  They live in fear that if someone found out, they would lose their job and be ostracized from their community.  Their families would be shamed and they would probably lose their vanilla friends. 

 Hearing this makes me wonder if this type of reaction isn’t a bit over dramatic.  It would be easy to understand if we were talking about being arrested and going to prison for some horrible crime.  In this situation, losing your job, your friends and potentially your family seems like a possibility.  Engaging in a lifestyle with your spouse just doesn’t feel so scandalous.

Most of the people that I have met in the lifestyle are truly wonderful, warm and caring people.  The kind of people that I am proud to have as friends.  These are friends that I have come to know on a much deeper level than any vanilla friends I have ever had.  Without a doubt, these are the friends that I would count on if I had a problem.  Lifestyle friends don’t judge, which is definitely not a quality that we find in most people.

Shaming Roger Stone and his wife for being swingers is disgusting.  It has nothing to do with his current situation and certainly is not something his wife should have to endure.  For Robert Kraft, perhaps the lesson for him is to hire prostitutes who will come to his home.  

The worst part is how many people are out there who hire prostitutes or cheat on their spouse and are ridiculing these men for what has been on the news.  It seems impossible to believe that Americans are still playing the puritanical card as the porn industry has grown to epic proportions.

Hopefully one day, people will grow up and learn to mind their own business.  Headlines such as these serve only to shock and appall the public.  

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A visit to a swing club might be just what your marriage needs!

Woman talking about swing club wearing Partners ID jewelry

When a friend confides that her sex life has diminished, would you suggest visiting a swing club?  I did…

A friend recently confided in me that her sex life has become pretty non existent.  After years of great sex, it no longer exists.  She wondered aloud if he no longer found her attractive.  There was no concern of another woman, they were very happily married.  I asked if perhaps it was a hormonal problem and she said she did not believe that was it.

So what’s happening?  My friend is very attractive and takes good care of herself.  She has a great figure and wears form fitting clothing to show it off.  I decided since she was coming to me for advice, I would take a chance.

“A few years ago, my husband and I were in a sexual rut,” I explained.  “Sex had become routine.  We decided to try toys, watch porn and role play.  Although it was exciting for a while, we found ourselves looking for something more.  My husband suggested a strip club and this was also exciting at first, but soon we were bored.  It was during a night at a strip club that one of the dancers suggested we try a swing club.”

I held my breath and waited for her reaction.  She leaned in close to me and with bated breath asked quietly, “And?”

Not sure how to proceed, I turned the tables.  I asked her what she would do.  Would she be willing to try a swing club? 

As I listened to her talk about how disgusting the thought of this was, I stopped her.  I decided to take a chance and tell her we had tried it a few times.  Very nonchalantly I described the first few nights we had actually visited a swing club.  The nerves, the anticipation of what I would see, what I wore and finally what I thought of the experience.  

This is perhaps the most important thing that vanilla couples misunderstand about what happens in a swing club.  I was honest about my fears regarding what type of people would actually spend time in a swing club.  The thought of half naked people walking around touching each other was a fear of mine.  I was sure the people would be old and unattractive; that the club would be a dungeon full of scary sights.  Not knowing what to expect is perhaps one of the biggest reasons that people shy away from swing clubs.

Her eyes were large as she listened intently.  She was dying to know what the club was actually like.  It was more shocking for her when I told her it was the exact opposite of what I had imagined.  The club was beautiful and upscale.  The people were warm and friendly; easy to talk to and quite interesting.  Many were professionals and most were genuinely normal, everyday type of people.  

I continued to explain that I did not see anything alarming or perverse.  Some couples were busy in groups, talking and laughing, some couples were dancing and others simply sat and observed.  Both women and men were well dressed.  Some women were a bit sexier than others, but if I had not known I was in a swing club, I would not have thought anything was odd.  Except, perhaps for the fact that people were so friendly and there was a monitor over the dance floor playing porn.

She was curious to hear whether we had seen people having sex while at the club.  There was no intent on my part to reveal that we have been in the lifestyle for many years and spend every weekend at this club.  My only interest was to help shed some light on the truth about swing clubs.  My answers reflected my views when I was new to the lifestyle.

I admitted that we, too, were curious and so after a few visits to this club we decided to check it out.  There was no way I was going to tell her that we had to change into towels to go into the back room, so I left that part out.

 

It seemed best to explain how respectful others are in this situation.  You go at your own pace.  If you simply want to watch, that is fine.  Some couples simply play with their husband or wife, while others opt to trade partners as they play side by side.  Some people like to play as threesomes and some prefer to be in a private room.  

I did admit that it was a very exciting way to spend a night. That first visit to the club had ignited a sexual flame within the both of us.  The club had a sexy vibe and we liked that.  Watching other people having sex was erotic and exciting.  The atmosphere is like none other.

My final bit of advice to her was to do some research and perhaps try it out.  There is no pressure to do anything.  Many people go to swing clubs and simply socialize.  Some drink and dance.  The most important thing is to do something in her marriage to get it back on track.

The simple act of going to a swing club brought my husband and I closer after just the first time.  We were now partners in crime and had something that we did not share with others.  It was our secret and it was shocking how it helped us to grow as a couple.  

The bottom line is that going to a swing club is an experience.  Perhaps one couple will love it and another will not.  It is not a commitment of any kind and there are no promises or guarantees of what will happen on any given night.  The most important thing to remember is that it is something you do together. 

Looking to find other swingers?  Wear lifestyle jewelry so others can find you!  Shop for the jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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Sex in Texas! A hotwife bank teller finds what she’s looking for!

Bank teller looking for sex

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and although I love him, I need more sex than he does.  At the beginning the sex was hot and often, but after a few years, he was happy to have sex twice a week.  For a while I simply satisfied myself, but after we discovered swinging, everything changed.  

Swinging woke him up sexually and that has been a positive for both of us.  More importantly is that I can go to a swing club and have sex with many men in one night.  My husband loves to watch and if he finds a woman he wants to play with, he likes to hear about what I was doing while he was busy.  

Although I love the sex I can have at a club, I discovered what I was really looking for was the freedom to have sex with other men.  As in, what I want, with who I want, when I want!  

I discussed this with my husband and he told me the thought of my meeting other men for sex was a huge turn on for him!  All he wanted was to hear all about it.  He suggested trying to video tape encounters on my phone so that he could watch what happens.  I wasn’t sure how many men would agree to this but I said I would do my best.

The only problem was, how to let men know that I am available.  I work in a bank and  I meet many men but flirting is frowned upon by management.  We had seen your jewelry before and decided that this would be a way to accomplish this!  Not only would I be able to let other swingers know that I am a swinger, but I love black men and so adding the queen of spade charm was perfect!

I did not meet someone right away but I got a lot of compliments on my necklace.  One of coworkers is obsessed with it which makes me laugh.  At first I thought maybe she was a swinger but she has no clue what it is.  

It took a while but finally I had a bite!  It was a regular customer and he simply handed me his deposit and his personal calling card together.  He smiled and told me to have a nice day.  I think I got wet just thinking about what this meant!  I sent him a text as soon as I was on a break and he responded right away!  He and his wife are swingers and they have an open marriage!  He is allowed to meet other women as long as he tells his wife!  

We met up for drinks the next night after work and headed right over to a motel nearby.  He was not open to the video idea but said my husband could listen in over the phone if that would make him happy.  The sex was incredibly hot and lasted quite a few hours.  We talked about the necklace and he asked about the extra charm.  I told him that I love black men (he is not) and he told me he knows quite a few from their circle of swingers.  He said he could ask them to call me if I liked.  This was unbelievable!  Needless to say, I was thrilled!

Long story short, I have been very busy after work and wanted to tell you that the jewelry definitely works!  

Hugs and kisses

Francesca

Dallas, TX

Check out the necklace this hotwife is wearing here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/product/spade/

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Time Magazine claims “We Are Having So Little Sex,” I beg to differ…

Couple having sex wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry
In the back room of a swing club this past weekend, my husband and I squeezed into a very small spot on a mattress.  Not because the surrounding couples were of interest, but simply because it was the only free spot we could find. 

 I couldn’t help but wonder if the back room could be any more crowded.  Couples were everywhere, using every available space they could find.  Many couples simply played standing up, a few occasionally backing into an emergency exit and setting off the fire alarm door.  

This particular Saturday was not even a special night at the club.  SDC, Kasidie, SLS and Quiver tend to bring big crowds, but they were not in the house.  It was not New Years or Halloween.  It was just another Saturday night at Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale.

It seemed ironic to me because that same day I had come across an article in Time Magazine titled, “Why Are We All Having So Little Sex?”*

Clearly, the word all, does not include swingers.  We are not only having sex, it is standing room only!

Perhaps, once again, swingers are making a good argument for their decision to engage in consensual non-monogamy.  Sex, the way swingers are having it, is not boring or routine.  It is not an obligation, nor is it a game of wait and see who initiates.

Swingers are out of the house when they are looking to play and that might be one of the most important details.  Swing clubs promote sex as dessert.  People come in to eat dinner, have drinks, dance and finally head into the play area.  

Maybe one of the key aspects of swing clubs is that sex is not at home.  It is almost like checking into a hotel.  Even couples who have fallen into a rut at home are more likely to have sex in a hotel.  The scenery is different and there are less distractions.  Most importantly, the kids are not there.  

Couples make sure to clean up and dress smart.  Women want to be sexy and men want to look hot.  The whole process of getting ready is a part of the allure.  

At a swing club, sex is on the menu.  You can have it if you choose, if not, that’s ok too.  The temptation, like chocolate cake, is that it is available.  Right behind the closed doors is an oasis of naked bodies looking for some fun.  Just like the cake, maybe you will have just have a little taste or maybe, you’ll have it all!  

The point is, swingers have not let the ball drop on an important aspect of both their relationship with their significant other and their general well being.  Sex is good for you.  It is exercise, there’s no calories, no chemicals and they can’t do it with their smart phone or computer.  It is good old fashioned face to face (if that’s how you like it) contact with another person.  

You don’t hear couples in a swing club discussing whether or not they feel like having sex tonight.  What you might hear is with whom they would like to have sex.

Perhaps one of the issues regarding sex and long term relationships is not simply the routine of sex but the lack of desire you see from your partner.  The beginning of many relationships is marked by lust. You simply can’t get enough of your partner and they can’t get enough of you.  Sex is incredible and you want it constantly.  

When couples move in together the insatiable desire tends to wane.  We do everything we can to keep the flame burning but over time, life seems to get in the way.  You let your hair down and your partner does not always see you at your best.  

You might try new things in the bedroom but after a while, you run out of new things to try.  And let’s face it, although you love your partner, the excitement eventually dulls.

This is where swingers have it figured out.  If we swap partners, we all win.  Everyone gets to be with someone new and exciting.  The women and men are dressed to impress.  They are hoping to attract a new person to play with but at the same time, your partner is noticing you in a new way as well!

I remember the first night my husband and I decided to go to a swing club.   He looked amazing and I was wearing something way sexier than I had worn in years.  We barely made it to the club because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the car.  

When couples break out of their routine and try something to ignite their sex lives, they might be surprised at the result.  Couples don’t swing because they no longer love their partners, it is the opposite.  They want to find that spark again.  Feeling beautiful, sexy and desirable is important for both men and women.  Swinging is a great way to reestablish those feelings. 

For many couples, swinging sounds like a bad idea.  They worry that their significant other will find someone new.  It is a common fear for newbies but this is not usually the case.  When couples enter the lifestyle properly and with the right intention, this is very uncommon. 

The real problem is for couples who are not having sex.  Even as we age and find ourselves in committed relationships, we are still human.  Humans are sexual beings and naturally crave sex.   

What happens when couples who no longer have sex are still looking for that validation that others find them attractive or desirable?  This can be a slippery slope.  Looking for validation in the wrong environment can lead to trouble.  This type of behavior often leads to cheating.

The take away?  It is natural for sex to become less exciting in a long term relationship but it is not natural to stop having sex. When I read the article asking, “Why are we having so little sex,” I am quite sure I said, “Not me” out loud.  

If you love your partner and are simply looking to spice things up between the two of you, swinging might be for you!  

*http://time.com/5297145/is-sex-dead/

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