A unicorn explains why she is in the lifestyle and what she is looking for.

Unicorn wearing Partners ID jewelry
Unicorn wearing Partners ID jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This blog was written for Partners ID by Kennedy M., a single woman in the lifestyle.

Most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves.  At times it can be challenging, especially when we find ourselves in situations that are hard to explain.  Imagine how hard it would be for vanilla people to wrap their minds around a unicorn!

Not long ago, while taking notes in a board room for an important client, I received an email with a subject line that said it was an important message from Joe (a close friend’s name).  I was busy and did not look at the return email address.  As soon as we took a break for a few minutes I scrolled down and clicked on it.  To my surprise there was a close up picture of a black man’s dick.  Before I could click delete, a male coworker was standing behind my chair asking if that was my new boyfriend.

When I am not blogging about my lifestyle experiences I have a job that is quite vanilla; complete with meetings in board rooms and client lunches.  For obvious reasons, I do not discuss my private life where I work.  When colleagues ask what I did over the weekend, I usually tell them, “The usual; a movie, some dinner” etc.  I am single and the company I work for would be horrified if they really knew how I spend my weekends.

I am a unicorn, a single girl in the swinger lifestyle, for those who do not know the term.

I did not discover swinging alone, but found myself single after a lengthy relationship in which we were a swinging couple.  I was very much in love with my boyfriend and was heart broken when he ended it with little explanation.

I am not soured by this nor do I hate men.  I am, however, wary of putting my heart out there again in fear that I will find myself in the same situation.

When I was finally ready to go back out after the breakup, I returned to a place where I felt very comfortable in the past.  My former boyfriend and I were swing club rats and spent at least two nights a week in our local establishment.  We had a nice circle of lifestyle friends, many of whom had reached out to me after the break up.

My first night out alone was a little bit scary.  I was unsure how I would be received by some of the women.  I knew I was not looking to intrude on anyone’s relationship but would they know that?  I had never really known any unicorn but had heard some women speaking poorly about them in the past.  I did not want that to be me.

For the most part, the women were happy to see me and welcomed me with open arms.  One or two seemed a bit uncomfortable with all the attention the men lavished upon me (which I in no way sought out but as most unicorns will admit, it is hard to avoid).

The first few times I went to the club I felt a little awkward.  I needed people to make me feel like I belonged there.  It didn’t take long for couples (some I knew, some I did not) to ask me to join them in the back room.  After a period of time I started receiving invitations to parties.  I also started having men ask me to accompany them to the club when their wives were out of town.   I have always declined to do this but I do know other unicorns who have no problem with this.   Although I knew why I was there, I wasn’t sure others understood why I chose to make a swing club my night life of choice.  I overheard women asking each other what exactly I was looking for.

I will tell you “what I was, and still am, looking for.”  I love to dance, I love to dress sexy and I love to have fun.  I like to meet new people and I love to have sex; both with men and with women.  I like the comfort and the warmth of the lifestyle.  It’s a great place to go to as you do not need a date, or to make plans with others.  You just show up and hang with the people who are there.  You can spend an amazing night, have great sex and kiss the other people goodnight.  I can go home and sleep alone in my bed.  Nobody to answer to.  I can stay until 12 midnight or go home at 4am.  I can do what I want with no strings attached.  If I am looking for some one on one time, there are always single guys who are more than willing to spend the evening with a unicorn.  The best part is, I do not have to be alone with them.  We can choose a private room to play but I am not in a scary situation with a stranger.  If I want to be with a couple, no problem.  If I want a gang bang, that’s my choice.  The best part for me is that I leave alone.  I am not looking for a boyfriend or a husband or anything else.  I am looking for a good time.  That’s it, that’s all.  I can not speak for every unicorn as we are all individuals.  I have gotten to know a few who spend time in this swing club and we are not all on the same page.  I will not go into the back room with someone else’s husband if she is not in the club to approve.  Most of the other girls have no problem with that.  I also will not date a married man with or without the wife’s permission.  I will only play with someone’s husband if she is present, but even then, I prefer to make it a threesome.  Most unicorns I have met don’t really have any rules.  They are out for themselves and offer no apologies for what they do.  They prefer to be alone for a variety of reasons and although they love the attention they get in the clubs, for the most part, they are not looking for anything more than a good time.

I have tried to imagine how I would feel if there was a unicorn around when my boyfriend and I were together at the club.  We did not really know of any at that time so it is hard to say.  If unicorns are respectful of other’s relationships then there should never be a problem.  I would suggest making sure that if you choose this route you pay a lot of attention to the women.  If you are flirting with their husband and ignoring them, this will be a problem for sure.  Since you have no one to offer to them, you must flirt with them as a couple.  Always try to put yourself in the woman’s shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if the situation were reversed.

Unicorns are a great addition to the lifestyle if they understand the rules of the game.  Some think they are the stars of the club because they get a lot of attention.  Perhaps it would be better to just think of yourself as another component to the lifestyle.  Although we bring an added element to the lifestyle, the lifestyle could easily exist without us.

Nobody ever asks what single men are looking for in the club.  Why the double standard?  It seems a question I hear often regarding unicorns.   I am looking for sex just like they are.  I just happen to prefer the no strings attached variety.  I don’t want you to call me in the morning.  Really, I don’t.  More often that not, I also don’t want to play with you again.  It was fun once but I am not looking to repeat the experience regardless of how awesome it might have been.  I am not looking for you to cuddle with me or tell me how beautiful I am.  Please do not tell me about your problems and I will not bother you with mine.  The truth is, I don’t really care, I just want to enjoy my night out.

I do like to try new things and am very open minded.  Sometimes that seems to make some women feel  a little threatened.  I am not a slut or a whore because I am a sexual person.  When I was in a relationship I did not feel as free to explore things as I do now.  Perhaps that is why it is hard for you to relate, but that doesn’t really give you the right to judge.

People have asked me many times why I am not out looking for someone of my own.  It is a valid question but again, I am enjoying being by myself.  When I am ready to be in a relationship, I can assure you I will not be fishing for someone in a swing club.  Perhaps one day I will meet a nice single guy at a lifestyle event but who knows.  For now, I am very happy to be a unicorn and have no plans to change that any time soon.

 

My name is Chris and I’ve been swinging for over 20 years.

Chris, who has been swinging for 20 years, sipping coffee wearing a Partners ID necklace
Man sipping coffe wearing Partners ID necklace.

My name is Chris and I have been swinging for over 20 years.  This is the first time I have ever met swingers without actually seeking them out either online or by attending a swinger’s event.

I often travel for business and my wife and I have an open marriage. What happens on the road, stays on the road and what my wife does while I’m on the road is all good. (I just want to hear all about it).

Recently my work took me to Boston, MA and while I have been there before, I never really thought of is as a place that would be riddled with swingers. Boston is a college town with so many young people that I never thought much about swinging when I visited in the past.

What set this trip apart was that my wife surprised me for our anniversary and bought me a beautiful gold and silver necklace from you, which of course has the pendant for swingers. I wear it everyday but never really expected to meet random swingers. Well, I was wrong on two accountants. First, Boston is a whole lot more than a college town, and second, you will meet random swingers when you wear the jewelry.

After spending the morning in a meeting, I needed to get some fresh air. I walked out to find a Starbucks so I could sit and answer some emails on my computer. I ordered some coffee, sat down at a table, and got to work. About 5 minutes after sitting down, a couple walked over and asked if they could sit at the table with me. I glanced up at them and told them no problem. We were sitting in a corner where we had relative privacy. Starbucks was busy and it was quite loud. I looked back down and started to type when I overheard the conversation between the couple. They were discussing their travel plans for an upcoming vacation to Miami and how they were excited to finally meet a couple they were talking to on SDC. As soon as I heard SDC I looked up and they were both looking at me. I didn’t say anything but the woman asked me if I was on SDC. I was taken back but then she pointed to my necklace.

Honestly I couldn’t believe it! I took out my headphones and told her I was on SDC and assumed they were as well. She opened her bag, took out a card and handed it to me. She said she hoped to hear from me soon. With that, the two of the them got up from the table and left. I was so shocked I could barely believe what had just happened. How lucky to be in the right place at the right time!

Needless to say, i immediately signed on to SDC to check them out. They looked to be a very hot couple who are totally open so I sent them an email telling them I was only in town until the next day but would love to meet up with them. I got a response from them within a half an hour inviting me to their home that evening.

I won’t go into too much detail but I will say it was a wonderful experience that I would never have had if it were not for wearing your necklace. As you can see I have placed an order for a few more pieces. Although my new friends knew what the jewelry meant, they did not own the jewelry. As a thank you I have purchased these pieces for them.

I’m very excited for what I might experience in the future. We have been swinging for more than 20 years and nothing like this has ever happened to me before. This is a great help for swingers who like to meet others in unlikely places.

That’s my story!

Chris K.

How big is too big? Hey guys, how do you measure up?

Man sleeping with big erection woman staring at him wearing Partners ID bracelet
Man sleeping with big erection woman staring at him wearing Partners ID bracelet
I imagine when men see this title they immediately click on it to see if I think they measure up.   It seems men are always wondering if they are big enough, and for those who think they are big enough, they wonder if they are the best because of this.  The funny thing is, if you ask almost any woman, she will tell you that although size matters to a degree, it really is what you do with it that matters most.
This is not a topic that required much investigating.  If you listen carefully, you will hear women discussing this frequently in the lifestyle.  Although there are some women who will say that they want the biggest one they can find, they seem to be a very small minority.  More often women say, “Too big is too big.”  Let’s face it, there is only so much room in there and when a man is too big, how does that work?  I have read articles that say you can judge who is a good fit for you if you compare hands.  Women with longer fingers tend to have more length inside whereas women with very short fingers do not.  That being said, if you have longer fingers you should be looking for a man who is larger and vice versa.
A good example of a man’s size not making him good in bed is evident in porn.  Almost every porn flick I have ever seen is about the same.  The man has an enormous penis, the woman gives him a blow job and he climbs on top or takes her from behind.  Ok ladies, is this your fantasy guy?  Sure he has a big dick but so what?  It is very rare for the guy to take care of the woman in porn.  She better hope she’s wet because clearly that was not his priority.  Now I personally do like a guy who’s well endowed but if I was not ready for him it would not be fun.  That is the whole point of what makes a man measure up.  When women say it is not the size but what he does with it, this is part of that equation.
Sexy man in his underwear with Parnters ID necklace
Sexy man in his underwear with Parnters ID necklace
Bigger is only better if you are ready for it and you are able to accommodate it.  A few weeks ago we were playing in the back room of a swing club and a couple came over to the spot next to us.  She was on her back and he took his towel off (already in an erection, I’m guessing he had an injection).  He climbs on top of her and she pushed him back and asked him, “Where ya goin’ with that?”  I couldn’t help but laugh because he looked confused.  She informed him that it was going to take more than that to get her ready.
There are men who are not so lucky and are abnormally small.  You would think they would not have much success in the lifestyle but I have discovered that this is not true.  They seem to make up for their short coming by paying extreme attention to their woman’s needs. This  is very appealing to many women.  By the time they are ready for intercourse, the woman they are playing with are usually very turned on and seem not to notice the size; they just want sex!
Something I have always wondered about is when a man is so large, it must be hard for him to enjoy blow jobs.  Women can only take so much in their mouths.  The smaller sized man has the advantage of the woman being able to deep throat him with no problem at all.  I do enjoy the challenge with the large guys but worry that they are not as fulfilled if I am unable to get to the base.
My true heros in the lifestyle are the women who seek out the most well endowed men for double penetration.  It would seem to me that this is where they might favor the smaller dicks!  Big guy up front, little guy in the back.  No?  Apparently not.
Whatever the case, size is relative.  Everyone likes something different and every man should feel confident with what they have.  You can be sure you measure up if you take the time to take care of your woman.  It works both ways; how would you feel if your woman did not take care of you?  You want the experience to be erotic and hot but it takes two to get there!

We wore our jewelry in Hawaii and had a hot time when someone spotted us!

Sexy woman poolside at resort in Hawaii
Sexy woman poolside at resort in Hawaii

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Partners ID,

We purchased jewelry from you last winter and wanted to tell you about our sexy adventure in Hawaii.

My husband and I took a vacation in March to a resort in Mauna Kea Beach, Hawaii. It was so beautiful but it was just the two of us. We were simply looking to get away from it all for a week so we thought Hawaii would be a good place to go.

We are swingers (obviously) and do spend a lot of time doing lifestyle type things. Once a year we take a trip alone to get away from it all. Wherever we do go, we wear our jewelry, just in case!

It was our third day there and we were enjoying the beautiful weather. We had done some exploring the day before so we decided to just relax by the pool. The sun was hot so we slipped off our jewelry, left it with our things on our chairs and headed into the pool. We climbed onto some rafts and enjoyed a long time just soaking up the sun.

When we got back to our chairs, someone had left a piece of paper sitting on top of our bags. My husband picked it up and read it. He was excited and showed it to me. The note said that someone had seen our jewelry and was wondering if we would like to meet this evening in the bar for some drinks!! It named the place to meet and said to be there at 9:00 if we were interested. We looked around to see if we could figure out who it was from, but nobody seemed to be paying any attention to us.

We spent the rest of the day like two spies, trying to figure out who the other swingers were. There was no doubt that we were going to meet this couple but we were both hoping to figure out who they were before we went.

After looking over our shoulders all day, we never could find the other swingers but were excited at the prospect of a fun evening. We showered, headed downstairs for some dinner and talked about the evening ahead. We looked around the restaurant hoping to spot another couple wearing the jewelry but it was very crowded and impossible to see most of the people.

At 8:30 we headed over to the bar to have a chance to check out some of the other couples. We ordered some drinks and watched the door. As couples entered the bar we tried to guess which ones it could be. At around ten to nine, a couple appeared at the bar and we both got excited. They were good looking, holding hands and smiling. They looked over at us and without thinking, I waved to them. They walked over and we asked them to join us for a drink. They introduced themselves and sat down. We were about to ask about the note when a tall man appeared at the table. He said, “I see you got my note. My name is Jules and I will be at the bar.” My husband and I looked at each other and we were in shock! It was a single guy and now we had this random couple sitting at our table! We looked at each other and I knew we were thinking the same thing. Maybe this couple swings but how do we ask? We told them we had met this other man at the pool because he spotted our jewelry. They looked at each other and told us it was very beautiful jewelry. Clearly, they had no clue. We explained that we had made plans earlier to meet him here and we didn’t want to be rude. They seemed confused but no big deal, they said maybe they would see us at the pool tomorrow. We got up and headed over to the bar.

Jules was the bartender at the pool area during the day and had spotted us wearing our jewelry. This explained why we didn’t notice him! He was very good looking and eager to be with some new people. He said there are plenty of swingers in Hawaii, on all the islands as far as he knows but it’s always fun to meet new people. We had a few drinks and headed up to our room for a night of fun!

The best part was, he was off the following day so he took us to see some of the local sites and hang with people who were from the island. It was wonderful and we wanted to thank you because obviously in a million years, without the jewelry, we would never have met him and had this opportunity!

My husband gave him his necklace to keep as a reminder of a fun day! He was so grateful! Now, we have to order a new necklace (maybe a bracelet this time).

We will keep you posted when we have another great experience like this! I doubt this will be the only one!

 

Hugs!

Cameron and Justin
Chicago