Nobody likes complicated things and most people hate drama. As a rule, when it comes to swinging, it is no different.
Swinging is something people do for enjoyment. Going to a lifestyle event, hotel takeover, swing club, private party or a lifestyle cruise are things people do for fun. If couples were looking for a complicated evening or vacation, they would make plans with their teenage children.
The majority of the time, swinging is a fun way to spend a night. You get dressed up, you get cleaned up and you are looking forward to a good time. Lifestyle friends are always up for a party and it does not matter what the venue is.
A perfect night usually entails heading out to a party or club. Once there, meeting friends and people you do not know (and some you do), having a few drinks, and heading into a play area. Next, you try to find another couple (or single). Ideally, everybody plays, everybody is happy, and you leave. That’s not so hard, right?
For many couples it is simple. They have conversations about what works for the both of them. Usually, the problems begin when a couple does not communicate or one is not honest.
So what causes drama in the lifestyle? Swingers are out to have fun, what could possibly go wrong? Here are a few issues that make swinging more difficult than it needs to be:
1. Someone is too drunk to play.
2. One member of the couple is not interested but their partner doesn’t seem to notice (or care).
3. The couple is in a fight but they try to find another couple anyway.
4. One member of the couple is not a player, they just like to watch.
5. The husband is full swap, the wife is not.
6. One of them gets jealous when they see the other play.
7. They want others to touch them but they don’t reciprocate
8. One is pushing the other to do things they are not comfortable with.
9. One engages with another couple without getting their partners approval
10. One gets upset and leaves during play.
Not surprisingly, when couples find themselves in situations such as these, it ruins the moment, and sometimes the night.
With this in mind, how can you avoid ending up with couples who create drama? Unfortunately, with the exception of someone being too intoxicated, it is hard to know in advance. Couples are not always upfront and honest regarding what they will and will not participate in. Not to mention the couples who say they are full swap and ready to play, and they are not.
To begin with, couples who enter a play area must communicate with each other and the couple they intend to play with. If one of you does not play, be honest and upfront. Pushing your partner into a situation that they are not comfortable with can never end well. Besides, couples who cause drama eventually develop a reputation as such.
Like myself, most people are in the lifestyle to have fun. Swinging should be something you do for enjoyment. If you don’t enjoy it or you have a laundry list of rules, better to stay home.
The bottom line, I love to swing, but only when it is simple…
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