Follow up to: A hilarious post from a guest blogger who has something to say about double penetration.

Woman rejecting double penetration

An open letter to my friend…

Guest blogger:  Tina (location withheld)

Dear Friend,  (Male friend of mine who is married to my best friend),

I do love both of you, you are such great friends.  We are friends the way only people in the lifestyle can be.   We go out, have dinner, drinks, go to the club, and dance, and yes, we all have sex together.  

Sometimes you stay over and we enjoy a wonderful, cozy breakfast together in our t-shirts and underwear.  We hang out by the pool and just enjoy our time together.

So here’s the problem…  my friend’s husband has been on a mission for the past year to experience double penetration.  He was victorious one afternoon when we invited another couple to join us at home.  When it started to rain, we all ran inside where out of the blue, this woman, who was brand new to the lifestyle, announces that her secret desire has always been to have double penetration.  Us girls were a bit shocked by this sudden revelation but the men took no time and were happy to oblige.  My best friend’s husband positioned himself in the back because this is part of his new fascination.

Unfortunately, this was just the beginning.  He found other women to have anal sex with and even talked his wife into trying double with him and another man.  Now his attention has turned to me.  

Is this a case of wanting that which we cannot have?  I suspect that it is and so we joke about this frequently.  

The bottom line is… if I were looking to experiment with DP, I can say one thing is certain:  It would not be with you or my husband (who thankfully is not interested).  I would be looking for the smallest dick available and this disqualifies both you and my husband!  

Think about it… it makes sense.  Why on earth would I want the guy with one of the biggest dicks around, to be the one I attempt this with?  Not going to happen my friend so this letter is simply to let you know that although I love you as my friend, we should put this to rest once and for all.  

Case closed, or to put it crudely, oh never mind, you know what I mean.

Your loving friend,


I remember how I laughed as I wrote and later sent this blog for you to post on your website.  My friend laughed along but promised me this was not over by a long shot.

Well, here is the update…

I did indeed participate in double penetration about 1-year post writing this blog.  It was a drunken afternoon with my husband and a single male friend.  One thing led to another and boom!  It happened!   This man is average-sized at best and in my drunken state, it was no problem.

Did I enjoy it?  Why yes, I did!  It is not something I felt the need to repeat, but at least I could check it off my friend’s bucket list for me.

He and I did have anal sex not long after, but not double penetration.   Just as I suspected, he was looking for the conquer, and as it was fulfilled by another man, he lost interest.  At least for now…

You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so don’t be a dick!

Blonde woman looking at laptop
Blonde woman looking at laptop


How many times have you gotten an email from a swinger dating site only to open it and see a picture of a dick? ( I can hear women moaning as they read this. ) Why on earth do men think women like this? I’m pretty sure there are few (or no) women who open this type of mail and scream with delight, “Yes, I must meet him!”

The funny thing about this type of introductory mail is it gives some insight into why these men are singe, no? I think most people would agree that anyone who thinks this is the first thing people want to know about them is very wrong. Sure, many couples looking to swing would eventually like to see a man’s equipment, but that is definitely not the first thing they want to see. A good rule of thumb would be to wait for someone to ask!

Single men have a difficult road to travel when attempting to infiltrate swinger couples. No question about it though, many couples do look for a single guy from time to time. The problem for the men is that there are so many to choose from. I’m guessing men are trying to figure out a way to stand out in the crowd. Let me tell you that this is not the way to go! Once you try to woo a woman or a couple with a picture of your dick, you’re done.

It is understandable that many people do not want to show their face, but there are ways of taking pictures without showing your face. A respectable looking man, with respectable photos, will get many more responses than a picture of his dick. The best way to get your “man picture” in, would be to have a bunch of different pictures on your profile and let it be one of the bunch. Women will find it if they are interested, trust me! It also is really not necessary to take a close up; a little mystery never hurts…

Although some men (and maybe women) might not agree with me on this one, I also don’t really need to see a close up of a woman’s private parts. A nude shot is fine but a close up? Even if you have the most spectacular looking pussy ever, it is not necessary to take a close up shot! We can see it just fine in a full body shot.

A poorly thought out swinger profile can really cause some couples to miss out on opportunities they might otherwise have. The same goes for single men and women. For swingers who are dependent on these sites to find other swingers, it might be a good idea to ask other swingers on forums to take a look and give you some honest feedback. Even the best looking couples with bad swinger profiles will struggle to find others who want to meet them.

Sometimes in an effort to get their point across, people will write in capital letters what they do not like in others. That is honestly very offensive to everyone, even if it doesn’t apply to them. At the same time, if someone’s profile clearly reads that they are not interested in single men, it would seem logical for single men to stop wasting their time contacting these people. Your beautiful picture of your dick will not win over the couple, trust me on this!

In order to make a good first impression, your profile should be friendly and honest. If you decide that you must show your favorite picture of yourself but it is from ten years ago, don’t bother. People want to see what you really look like, not what you used to look like. If you gained weight and don’t want people to see it, hiding it in the picture won’t help when you show up in person. Nobody wants to be surprised when they meet other swingers in person. They chose you based on your profile, so if it is not honest, chances are they will not be happy when you show up. I have heard so many stories about these types of scenarios and although they are funny to hear, it causes hard feelings to the couples involved. People do not want to waste their time meeting couples, or singles, that misrepresented themselves online.

The other problem with many swingers is they lie about their age. Everyone can understand why this happens, but it also causes problems. If you are 50 but you look much younger for your age, the temptation to shave off a few years might be tempting. For some couples, they can probably get away with this. The problem is that sometimes swingers shave off more than 10 years, and the only couples they are kidding, are themselves. I have been asked often if I think anyone is honest about their age and my answer is honestly, I’m not sure. I have been told by some older swingers that if they are honest, nobody contacts them. They have plenty of success in person, but not online if they admit to their true age. For swingers who are in their 20s and 30s, this is probably not an issue.

So now that you know what not to do on your profile, what should you do? The best advice is probably, to just be honest. If you are 50, there are plenty of other swingers who are the same age and older than you. If couples care about age, let them find couples close to their own age. Some will care, some will not. If you gained 15 pounds since you put up your profile pictures, time to take down the old and replace with the new. Lost all your hair? That’s fine, but let others see what you really look like. You have decided that you prefer a bush where it used to be waxed clean? No problem, but take down the old pictures and replace them with the new you.

I have heard too many stories of couples meeting other couples from dating sites and groaning when they saw the couple walking through the door. I have also heard many stories of couples ignoring people they had planned to meet because in person they were a far cry from their pictures.

Is this nice? No, of course it’s not. But is it avoidable? Yes, it is. You only get one chance to make a first impression so why not make it a good one? When people choose to meet you, all they are asking is that the person they see in the pictures, be the person who shows up to meet them in person.