Vaginas: They are sought after by so many, yet rarely spoken of.

Let’s talk about vaginas, shall we? It is something people rarely mention…

Vaginas are an integral part of our sex lives yet just saying the word seems to make people uncomfortable.   To test out this theory it seemed natural to talk with a group of swingers.  Swingers are such a great resource when sex is the topic. They are not afraid to be open and candid. If you want to know something that you have never been comfortable asking regarding sex, ask a swinger. They might not have all the answers, but they will certainly give you any information they can! Why then, when they hear the word vagina, do even swingers giggle?

So what’s the deal with vaginas?

Just the word vagina makes people shy away. A Michigan lawmaker was banned from speaking in her state’s House of Representatives because she said the word “vagina.” Really?! Is the vagina not simply a female body part? Should she have called it a va jay jay? How about pussy or snatch? Better?

How about the tampon commercials? They are obviously dealing directly with vaginas yet they never once use the word. How is this possible? If you watch carefully, they don’t even make mention of the female genitalia; not even a “down there” reference. What’s up with that?

It makes people giggle and look at you like you are drunk when you say the word vagina.

There are so many nicknames for the vagina that this should be a red flag right there! I have heard everything from penis snuggie to tuna taco to honey pot, and those are some of the nicer ones. There are actually lists of names on the internet. Here are a few sites I found:

http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-07-21/name-that-vajayjay-40-words-for-every-situation/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/105361

http://www.webdate.com/forum/all_things_webdate/Unique_Names_for_A_Vagina

Not even swingers are comfortable using the word?

I asked a group of female swingers if they ever use the word in general. Whether while talking about sex or even with their gynecologist. Ready for this? They all answered no, it’s not a word they feel comfortable using. Really? Even for swingers? I asked if they were having a problem with their vagina, how they would refer to it while speaking with their doctor? The most common answer: “down there.” One said she had actually said va jay jay to her doctor. I asked if he laughed and she said no.

Why do we need to use other words to describe it?

Is there a problem with the word vagina? Maybe we should consider simply changing the name to something that doesn’t make people so uncomfortable. Even after reading through some pretty ridiculous, yet hilarious names, I’m not sure what would be better: Cooch? Hooha? Snatch?

Is it the actual name of the organ that causes so much discomfort or is it the organ itself?

Men seem to take great pride in the fact that they have a penis. We see that from an early age and it seems to stay with them for their entire lives. Even as little boys, we see them touching it and playing with it as soon as they become aware of it. It’s rare that men shy away from an opportunity to take it out and show it off.

Why is it different for women? Is it the way we are brought up? Almost as if we are taught that it is something to be ashamed of? Why should something that is part of our sexual makeup, something that can make us feel so good, make us feel so ashamed?

Maybe it is time we give vaginas a break. They do an awful lot for us! It’s time we stopped being embarrassed by them and started giving them the respect they deserve! I am even willing to bet that after reading the word vagina this many times, you are feeling slightest more comfortable with it. Right?

Swingers: Why is it a secret that you are in the lifestyle?

Woman in lifestyle wearing Partners ID choker necklace

Are people still afraid to let others know that they are in the lifestyle?

Why do swingers feel the need to keep their lifestyle a secret?  I frequently hear swingers say that nobody knows that they are in the lifestyle.  They would die if someone found out.   Why is that?  What do people think when they hear someone they know is a swinger?  It reminds me of the time before I had ever had sex.   I couldn’t imagine how you could face the person you had sex with afterward.  What would they think after they had seen you in such a compromising way?  How would others see you? Obviously I discovered that these fears were unfounded.  Nobody seemed to look at me any differently, and facing the guy who I was with was no problem.  So what is it that makes us fear discovery?

 What is it that swingers fear about exposure?

Curiosity got the best of me and so I started to ask swingers.  I asked a group of swingers if they are very religious, but they are not.  I wondered if their children were at an age that it would create confusion and uncertainty, but they are not.  Do they think they are doing something criminal or unethical?  They do not.  Hmm.  Would exposure embarrass them?   This question got a nod.   Embarrassed? Why?  In truth, swingers are doing something that most people wish they could do.  They have sex with others and it doesn’t destroy their marriage.  Why?  Because two consenting adults have agreed to enter into this together.  There are no lies or secrets.

Would friends and family alienate you if they found out you were having an affair?

Admitting that you are a swinger should be a lot less traumatic than admitting you are having an affair, no?  After all, one is cheating and lying to someone you say you are in love with, the other is not.  Cheaters sneak around, worrying that they will be caught.   Getting caught would disrupt their lives and the lives of those around them.  Swingers, on the other hand, are out having a great time together.  They are out enjoying parties and events with their significant other.  This is something that others only dream of.

I wonder how many swingers are truly living this lifestyle unbeknownst to their friends and family.  Probably not nearly as many as believe they are.  Often times I watch swingers arrive at a club clad in an oversized trench coat in the middle of the summer.  When I ask these women if their family or neighbors don’t find this strange they say they don’t think so.  Really?  It’s 90 degrees outside and you leave your house or condo wearing a trench coat cinched at the waist with stiletto heels and nobody thinks that’s odd?

What happens to couples who come clean about the lifestyle?

Many swingers have said that when they finally decided to disclose to friends and family that they were swingers, many were not surprised.  Many said they had known about it for years but understood the swinger couple wanted to keep it to themselves.  (If these were the trench coat women, it’s no wonder people knew.)

What about the family and friends who did not suspect this person or couple was in the lifestyle?  What was their reaction?  Were they shocked and appalled?  Not according to the people I have spoken with.  Most said that more than anything, they were curious about swinging.  They asked a lot of questions but did not seem to have a negative reaction.  Many couples said that both friends and many family members (mostly siblings), eventually asked if they could tag along one night to see what it was all about.

Stop apologizing for your lifestyle choices; it’s your life and your decision to make.

Like any other group, in order to gain acceptance, we must learn to stand up for what we believe in.  Swingers should not be ashamed of their lifestyle.  Obviously it is not necessary to divulge what you do when you are at a swing club, or party, or another event.  Most people do not give blow by blow (pun intended) details to others about what they do in their bedrooms.  No need to reveal that you participated in a gang bang with 15+ men last Saturday. Nobody needs to know that you tried double penetration for the first time and loved it.  Many swingers don’t swap, and many people in the lifestyle are not swingers.  Enjoying the warm atmosphere that accompanies the lifestyle is a wonderful thing and people should not have to hide from it.

Why do people find it acceptable to learn that many famous couples are swingers?  Why are they held to a different standard than the rest of us.  Because they are famous?   Some are highly influential people and they do not deny that they are swingers.  Famous people frequently answer questions about their lifestyle and seem quite comfortable doing so.

What does wearing lifestyle jewelry actually say about you?

Wearing our jewelry means that you are open-minded.  If you think about it, being a part of the lifestyle really doesn’t mean more than that.   If your children or parents told you the same thing, would it concern you?  Although it might surprise you, you would  be happy to see them happy.

When we initially came up with the concept for the jewelry, we had just this vision in mind.  Wear the jewelry with pride.  First of all, others do not know what it means.  Secondly, even if they did, what does it really say about you?  It says that you are an open-minded person.

Let’s continue the movement to unite the lifestyle.  People in the lifestyle could really teach others a lot about relationships.  Honesty, respect and fun are the three hallmarks of the lifestyle.  What could be better than that?

To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/page/2/

Imagine sending photos intended for swinger friends to your parents!

Photo of naked provocative woman wearing Partners ID jewelry
Taking photos is a wonderful way to capture memories of every kind.  From the day we are born, the cameras start flashing to ensure memories of this special event.  We embrace our photos as prized possessions and something tangible to remind us of the good times in our lives.  Birthdays, graduations, vacations with our families, holidays and good times with our friends.
 Swingers are no different, but their collections of photos are typically quite different from most people’s photos.  People in the lifestyle seem to take quite a bit of illicit pictures of themselves, and often their friends.  Check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or swinger websites. You will be inundated with more nude and pornographic photos than you can imagine.  Part of the fun of taking these photos is sharing them with your swinger friends, right?
 It is also common for swinger couples who have been speaking over the internet to request pictures of each other.  After all, you would like to see recent photos prior to meeting them.  It’s only logical then that you would choose to email these photos.  No big deal, right?  You pick out your favorite face shots. Then you look for that perfect sexy shot of the two of you engaged in some kind of sex act.  Maybe you like the one where you are giving your husband a blowjob while a black male is behind you. No?  Perhaps the one when your girlfriend is going down on you.   Type in the recipient’s email address and push send.  What could be simpler?  Although it should be a simple and private way to communicate, it does not always work that way.  We are human and computers do not always seem to be on the same page we are.

Swinger woman playing with herself wearing Partners ID bracelet

Sometimes the computer seems to magically change recipients without our knowledge.  I am sure it has happened to everyone:  you intend a message to go to one person and somehow it ends up going to someone else.  For most messages, this is simply a hassle or perhaps just plain annoying.  If you are a swinger, this particular type of scenario can be a whole lot worse.  You push send and as soon as your finger hits the button you see what’s happened!  The email is not addressed to your new friends at all but rather to your father!  OMG!  This actually happened to someone we know.
How about when your friends bring you into a group text message.  You and your vanilla friends agree on where to go for lunch or share some gossip about someone you all know.  We all have these group texts.  Not a problem until you decide to share some erotic photos with the swinger couple you played with the previous evening. It accidentally gets sent out in a group text.  There’s really nothing you can say because as we have heard, a picture is worth a thousand words.  Can you even imagine the conversation about you between your vanilla friends?  I shudder to think about it.
A couple was celebrating New Year’s Eve in a swing club and told their children they were heading out for a romantic dinner.  The club looked so beautiful they could not resist asking someone to take a picture of them against the festive backdrop.  They looked at the picture in the club that night and liked it so much they sent it right out to their children.  What they did not notice until the next day was that in the background was a monitor with porn.   There was nothing they could think of to explain this.
Another couple celebrated Halloween in a swing club and loved their clever costumes.  They asked a friend to take a photo of them and as they posed for the photo, a friend joined in for the shot.  When they checked the photo, they thought it was adorable.  The next day they met her parents for dinner and took out their phone to show them their cute costumes.  As they enlarged the picture, they realized the girl who joined in the shot had pulled her top down and her breasts were exposed.  It is very hard to think of what to say in these situations to somehow make things sound normal.
It seems that as long as swingers are snapping pictures of themselves and each other in compromising positions, there will always be the possibility of a mishap.  This does keep things interesting, no?

Never in a million years did I think I would be in the lifestyle!

An email we received from a customer:

Dear Partners ID,

My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have children who are now living on their own and we both have careers that keep us busy. One evening after dinner, we settled into our typical nightly routine of watching tv on the couch. We talked about the upcoming weekend and who we wanted to go out with. I was shocked when my husband told me he couldn’t stand how routine our lives had become. We work all week, have dinner at home and on weekends go out to dinner or a movie with basically the same couples. He was afraid that our lives, now that our children were grown, would remain like this forever.  The thought of it made him sad.

Honestly, it was the first time I had ever thought about it, but I realized he was right. There was nothing to look forward to anymore; every week was the same.

That night I couldn’t sleep so I went on the computer to try to research what else couples at our stage of life were doing for fun. I came across a blog written by Penny which directed me to your website. At first, I was chuckling to myself about the prospect of Joe and myself as swingers, but as I read more blogs I started to realize that it really was about so much more than sex.

I started to research what exactly the swinging lifestyle entailed and thought it was worth mentioning to Joe. Never in a million years could I have imagined something like this, but I must admit, I was very curious.

When I initially mentioned it to Joe over coffee in the morning he thought I was insane. He, too, laughed at the thought.

For the first time in I don’t know how many years, he sent me a text and asked if we could meet for lunch. He told me he couldn’t get the thought out of this out of his mind and was excited that it was something I had an interest in. We had no idea how to go about the whole thing so I came back to your website to see what I could find.

It didn’t take long to find articles I needed to get started. We did some research online regarding local swing clubs and also spent some time looking at swinger dating sites. I will tell you that our sex life changed that very first night that we started to think about it! It was like something sparked inside both of us and we were alive and excited about what was to come!

Fast forward one year and our lives have changed dramatically. It has been years since my husband and I have been this happy and connected.  We look forward to our weekends with our new lifestyle friends and all the adventures! Each weekend we now go to parties and swing clubs and have booked a lifestyle cruise for the fall! Of course, we both wear your jewelry (proudly) and wanted to thank you for helping us find what we never knew we were looking for!

The friends that we used to spend every weekend with have noticed the difference in us but we don’t dare tell them what we are up to! We both work out several days a week and look younger and more fit than we have in years. Even our children see the change!

One of the biggest benefits of this lifestyle is the friends we have made. We are closer to them than any of the friends we have had in the past. We travel with them, meet them at clubs and even have sleepovers! What fun!

Thank you for opening our eyes to a wonderful new world! Your blogs are wonderfully honest and informative and your jewelry is beautiful! We wish you all the happiness that we have found!

xoxo
Debbie and Joe

Looking for our lifestyle jewelry? Simply click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Why your attitude and demeanor are crucial to your success in a swing club.

 

couple in swing club wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

 

By now, for those who read my blogs, you know my husband and I spend a good amount of time in swing clubs.  This weekend was no different and we proudly made it out all 3 nights!  

It is in the swing club that I often find topics of interest.  This weekend we were talking about people’s demeanors and how this can affect their success in the lifestyle.  We observed an attractive woman talking with her husband at the bar.  She was smiling and seemed approachable but her husband looked angry and annoyed.  

Soon after first noticing them, they were passing by to walk to the dance floor and she stopped and said hello to us.  Her husband, still with a sour look on his face, stopped beside her.  We introduced ourselves and waited for them to do the same.  She kissed us hello and told us both of their names.  He simply nodded his head.  When we spoke to him he was cordial but never once smiled.   As they walked away we tried to imagine what kind of success they would have in a swing club.  

This man looked so unapproachable, it is hard to imagine that anyone would choose to engage in conversation with them.  We spotted them from time to time and his demeanor never changed.  Even on the dance floor, he looked miserable.  It is possible that he did not want to come to a swing club and was doing it for his wife.  If this was the case, I would understand.  Clearly, however, this man did not have to worry about other couples wanting to get close to them.

Oddly, when the couple was passing us to go back to their seats at the bar, she stopped to speak with my husband.  I smiled at her husband and he simply pretended to be interested in whatever was on the tv screen.  I laughed to myself because this woman was truly wasting her time.  At this point, even if this man suddenly wanted to play with me, I had zero interest.  

Swingers, in general, are warm and friendly people.  While there are exceptions to every rule, most people that we meet in swing clubs, are there to meet others.  For this reason, if someone conveys negativity, their chances of hooking up with others is very low.

I couldn’t help but wonder if she realized how he came across to other people.  Our assumption was that she brought him to the club and clearly, he did not appreciate being there.   We lost track of them but I imagine their night ended early.

This is not the first person in a swing club that I have observed with a chip on their shoulder. It continues to confuse me as to why people waste their time and money doing something they are clearly not interested in doing.  To please their partner?  Maybe, but obviously this generally backfires.  

Swinging is something that couples must approach together.  If a couple is not on the same page, this is the result.  Coming into a lifestyle situation with a closed mind is not going to yield a positive outcome, regardless of how much one person wants it to work.  

I considered that maybe this is simply the man’s disposition.  It is possible, however,  that he is one of those people whose resting facial expression leads people astray.  His wife did mention he is foreign, perhaps his country of origin does not expect people to smile and be up all the time.  Maybe he had a bad day at work or some other personal problem.  

Any of these things are possible and it was for that reason that when they stopped to talk, we made an effort to be warm to them both.  Not because we wanted to play with them, but simply to be nice and put him at ease.  This is where he fell short.  He had an opportunity to be friendly and he chose to be cold.

Much like when someone has bad breath and we wonder why their significant other doesn’t tell them, we questioned if she said something to him.  If the problem is that he is shy, his wife needs to help him engage when the opportunity presents itself.  If he is simply unfriendly, maybe they need to rethink the whole swing club idea.

Whatever the case, the bottom line is that a positive attitude and demeanor are important if you want to have success in a swing club.  There are too many friendly faces for people to waste their time trying to warm up someone who is just plain cold.

 

Most people love swinging when it’s easy.  Read more here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/drama/

Looking to find others in the lifestyle?  Try wearing our lifestyle jewelry, it’s the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

A unicorn, a tatto and an unexpected swinger encounter in Atlanta, Ga.

Partners ID Swinger Symbol Tattoo

Dear Partners ID,

I will speak for myself when I say that I love to read your letters from swingers who have found each other because they spotted your jewelry.

My story is a little bit different. I do have several pieces of your jewelry, which I love but it was your tattoo that inspired me. You might remember that I had contacted you asking for permission to use your logo for a permanent tattoo. I did have it done and just like the jewelry, it attracts attention.

The tattoo is located on the inside of my wrist so it is discreet but visible. The interesting thing about this tattoo is how it alerts people in the lifestyle that I am definitely a player. When they see it, they know what it means. Nobody has a permanent tattoo if they are not a genuine swinger!

The part about meeting another (very unexpected swinger) starts now. I had taken a bad fall and injured my wrist. My dad suggested I make an appointment to see his long time friend who is an orthopedic surgeon. After sending me for X-rays they determined that it was indeed fractured.

I met the doctor for a consultation. He suggested placing it in a cast for 6-8 weeks. When he examined my wrist he stopped when he spotted my tattoo. I could see him looking carefully at the design and came right out and asked me what it meant. Talk about awkward! The explanation I gave was for nothing as he told me he knew the sign well; he too is in the lifestyle!

We did not make plans to meet up or anything of that nature. After all, he is my dad’s friend! This is a man who I have known since I was a young kid and never would have suspected he is in the lifestyle. We agreed that it should be our little secret but he did love my tattoo!

Although we will not see each other as swinger friends, he did fix me up with someone else who is in the lifestyle. We have been out a few times and we will see where that goes!

Love your concept, love the design and love the jewelry. I hope this story makes you smile and who knows, maybe I’ll be the second swinger bride!

Big hugs,

Nancy
Atlanta, Ga

Looking for lifestyle jewelry?  Click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

When vanilla friends become a little too nosy…

Vanilla women

How many times have your vanilla friends (for those of you who still have them) wanted to know where you were going and with whom?  It seems whenever you tell vanilla friends you have other plans, they become curious.  Especially if it happens on a regular basis. 

When we first started making excuses for being unavailable to our vanilla friends, my husband and I would joke how ‘mom’ called.  It wasn’t either of our moms, it was a nosy vanilla friend.  Each conversation with her started with her asking what we did the previous weekend and with whom.

 Prior to entering the lifestyle we would make plans with friends on a regular basis, sometimes weeks in advance.  Saturday was usually spent at dinner or a movie.  

When we discovered strip clubs, we became less available or started ending nights out with friends earlier than in the past.  It was easy because strip clubs were better later at night.  When we discovered a swing club not far away, we became more and more unavailable over a short period of time.  

Our goal each week, was to keep Saturday night free so we could go to the club.  We even had a code name for the club so that nobody would know what we were talking about if they overheard our conversations.  Were we being paranoid?  I don’t think so, people really wanted answers! 

Over time, as we tried to force our vanilla friends to see us on Fridays. Not long after, we would only make ourselves available to them during the week.  At this point, some of our friends became suspicious.  We turned down invitations to just about every vanilla event we were invited to.  We had discovered swinging and that was all we wanted to do.  

As we made friends in the lifestyle, this group became our social life.  Sometimes we would meet at a restaurant before heading to the club.  This is when we discovered how difficult it was to have any privacy.  That’s right, going out to dinner with lifestyle friends became fodder for anyone who saw us.  It seemed not to matter how remote a restaurant we chose.  As luck would have it, we always seemed to run into someone we knew. 

Soon “mom” was back on the phone wanting to know who our new friends were.  The first time I got the call I was taken aback.  I tried to imagine how this was any of her business.  Since she had not actually seen us, I knew someone had told her. Then I tried to imagine why people were talking about us.  We do not live in a small town per se, but many people know each other.  Same schools, same churches,  temples, same after school activities, etc.  

So what made our lives suddenly so interesting that people were talking about us?  “Mom” casually mentioned that we seemed to be avoiding our old group of friends.  I pointed out that the previous week we had met them for dinner.  How could we be avoiding them if we saw them a few days ago?

It seems that making new friends, especially people that are from another town or city, raises eyebrows.  Suddenly “mom” was asking how we met them.  Don’t think  “mom” was the only person asking, she was simply the only one brave or nosy enough to confront me.

It made us wonder how much people really deserved to know.  Do we actually owe it to others to explain our whereabouts or our new friends?  Is it normal for “friends” to demand to know why you are not free to spend more time with them?

My husband and I had even considered telling one couple that was part of that group of friends about the lifestyle.  We thought they might be open to the whole idea of swinging.  After much thought, we decided against it.  If they were not open to it, we would be exposing ourselves and did not want to risk that.

The lifestyle resulted in our decision to completely remove ourselves from this former group of friends.  We soon realized that these people are very judgmental and if they were to discover the truth, we would no longer be friends.  Knowing this, we chose to drift away.

The question remained for us:  Why is it anyone’s business how we spend our free time?  Why must swingers always make up excuses so that they can do what they want?  Lying and making up stories and excuses is exhausting.  We are adults and should be free to live our lives without judgment.

For all of the nosy people out there:  stop worrying about what others are doing and with whom they are doing it.  We are forced to lie and sneak around to avoid judgment from people like you.  Don’t you have anything better to do?

The sad part is, many people in the lifestyle end up having to choose between the lifestyle and maintaining vanilla friendships.  Perhaps most people choose lifestyle friends simply because we have more in common with each other.  They also don’t judge or wonder what we are doing when we are busy with something else.

Bottom line, swingers do not owe anyone an explanation about how they spend their free time.  Where we go nights, weekends and on vacation is nobody’s business.  We have discovered a wonderful, carefree life in the lifestyle and have no plans to change this any time soon.  So butt out…

If you are looking for lifestyle jewelry you have come to the right place!  Check out our jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Swinging; how do I bring up the topic to my significant other?

Wearing Partners ID jewelry is a good way to meet others in the lifestyle.

The most common question asked of swingers seems to be, “How do I get my husband/wife/girlfriend, etc., into the lifestyle?”  

There are many people out there who know about swinging and would like to swing. The problem is, they don’t know how to bring up the subject to their partner.

We have gotten quite a few emails from people who actually ask us this question. I’m not sure how I became the “Dr. Ruth” of swinging but I really don’t mind trying to help.

The majority of the time, this question comes from a man, but we have had women ask us as well. The interesting part is that many people have said the same thing. We often talk about how exciting it would be to bring another person into bed with us.  Although we both get turned on, I’m not sure how to make the leap to actually making this happen!

It is always a good sign if you have a good sexual relationship and can talk about things before you bring this up. It would seem to me that when you approach the subject, it should not be in the bedroom.

Many people like to fantasize to get excited but are not really prepared to act on these erotic imageries.

Several men said their wives get very turned when talking about having sex with multiple men at once. The operative word here is talk. There is a good chance that she is not prepared to actually do this in real life.  So how can you make this happen?

Try talking about how much you love to see your partner so turned on during sex. You love that they like to watch porn or to fantasize. Express how amazing it is that the two of you can share this together.

Mention that something you have always fantasized about was seeing other people have sex. Live sex, not on tv. How hot would that be?  This way you simply mention your desire to find a place where you can actually watch others having sex. This takes the pressure off of your partner.  You are not making your partner feel that they will have to be a part of it.

Check her reaction to a suggestion such as watching live sex.

Does she look at you like you are crazy or does she have a flicker of interest? If you get the ‘you’re crazy’ look, drop it and mention it again at a later time. The next time maybe say you came across this swing club online or in a magazine or a newspaper. After a while, she might get used to the thought. Perhaps your partner would be willing to just go and take a look. Again, it is extremely important to let her know that you just want to see it. That is all you want. This is, the first step.

Most women I have met in the lifestyle agree that it was not their idea to enter a swing club or check out any type of lifestyle venue. It is almost always the man’s suggestion. However, I will tell you that the woman is the one who requests to return. That being said, the major obstacle for most couples, is getting your partner to walk through the front door for the first time.

The smartest approach for many men seems to be to give the woman control of the situation from the very beginning.

When you are able to get her to agree to try it out for one night, encourage her to buy something new that will make her feel good. It is not important that she dress overly sexy, only that she feel good about herself. Try not to be overly eager about getting to the club or event. If you take a more casual attitude towards going, it will make her less nervous.

Most important of all, is when you arrive for the evening, make sure she is your number one priority.

Check to make sure she is comfortable. Make her feel special and attractive. If you walk in and start ogling all the other women, she will not like the environment from the get go. It is ok to be friendly, but let her take the lead and decide who she is comfortable talking to or not talking to. The same goes for a woman bringing a man. If you start to flirt with other people right away, your partner will feel insecure. Swinging must be about the two of you as a couple. If you leave your partner in the background during your visit, chances are, you will not be returning to any type of lifestyle event with them in the future.

The lifestyle is an amazing, exciting and warm environment.

There is no real reason why anyone would not enjoy it, as long as it is approached the right way. The number one problem that couples seem to have, which stops them from ever getting comfortable in the lifestyle, is jealousy. Nobody enjoys feeling insecure or left out. If you do not make it a priority to see to it that your partner is comfortable, they will not want to put themselves in this situation again, and who can blame them?

When you are new to swinging, it is very important to take your time.

Do not enter the lifestyle and think you should swing right away. It is more important to get adjusted to the situation before you take the plunge. Make sure that when you think you are both ready to take the next step, you have discussed it and know what you are both comfortable with. Always make sure to notice if your significant other is ok if you do swap with another couple.

Communication is the key to success in the lifestyle.

At the end of any night together it is a good idea to talk about the experience to make sure she/he was happy and comfortable with what happened. As long as you keep the lines of communication open from the start, you should have no trouble joining the lifestyle and making it a smooth transition. Swinging should be something wonderful for both members of a couple. It cannot work if one person is dragging the other person into it against their will.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

A sure way to find others in the lifestyle is by wearing our jewelry.  Each piece sports the international symbol for swinger.  To see the jewelry click here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers

 

 

You might be the good looking one, but I’m the one wearing the lifestyle jewelry!

Painter wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

I am happy to be able to write to you about how your lifestyle jewelry helped me to meet someone.  Those stories always make me smile and I think everyone who wears the jewelry is looking forward to writing one of their own.  Here is mine.

A few years ago I was dating a woman who introduced me to the lifestyle.   We spent several weekends each month attending house parties and hotel takeovers.  When we broke up, the prospect of being that single guy did not excite me and so I now only attend house parties if I am specifically invited.

For the past eleven years, I have been working as a house painter. After graduating from high school, my friend and I opened a business and we have done very well.  We have been friends since we were kids.  He has always been the more outgoing, good looking one, I am the quiet, reserved one.  

The next job on our roster was in a very upscale area.  The house is large and the property is isolated.  The nearest house is probably a quarter of a mile away.  It is surrounded by dense forest and a small lake.

The job was to paint the entire house, inside and out.  The first day we arrived it was raining, so we started with the inside.  We were greeted by the homeowners and their two young children.  The man soon set out for work and took the kids with him.   His wife explained that he always takes the kids to school and she picks them up.

The woman was very friendly and showed us around the house.  We set up our gear and got down to work.  Since we have been working together for so many years, we have a system and we each know what our job entails.  

Luckily the weather cleared up and after completing the inside, we were able to move outside to paint.  After getting set up outside, the woman came out and told us there was something she wanted to be fixed inside the house.  We tried to tell her we would get to it later in the day but she was insistent.  My partner generally paints inside and I usually paint outside but she insisted that she show it to me.

I climbed off my ladder and follow her into the house.  She leads me upstairs and into her bathroom.  Pointing to an area of ceiling that she said was imperfect, I looked up.  Not only was she wearing a robe when I looked up but also her hair was in a ponytail. When I turned back to say I saw no problem, the robe was on the floor and her long was hair was hanging straight.   The woman was wearing only her panties.  This was truly a first for me.  I imagine the shocked look on my face told her I was not expecting this.  She pointed to my ring (your ring) and said she had a few pieces of her own.  

Without hesitating, she picks up her phone and calls her husband.   With her husband on facetime, we proceeded to get down to business.  Needless to say, we had a great time!  I did feel bad that my buddy was working but she said he had been flirting with her since day one and she loved that he didn’t get what he wanted.  Had he been wearing the jewelry, she said she would have asked him to join us. 

This went on every day that we were there. Sometimes inside the house. other times outside.  Needless to say, my partner was suspicious as to why she only wanted me to come inside.   I just shrugged my shoulders and I said I really didn’t know why.  

Needless to say, I love my ring it is magical!   I recommend everyone in the lifestyle wear it as it does exactly what it was intended to do!

Thank you for doing what you do!

Warmly,

Steve

Millburn, NJ

Looking for others in the lifestyle? Try checking their jewelry!  If you are interested in purchasing a piece of your own, click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

A single man in the lifestyle, a very happy ending.

Single man wearing Partners ID Lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

I am a single man and I am in the lifestyle.  Let me tell you, it’s not easy for single men.  It’s easy to understand why people have such a negative reaction to single men in the lifestyle.  Trust me, even I have received dick pics in my inbox and I’m not even bi.

It actually takes more effort from the good guys to get past the stigma that is attached to us due to men with bad intentions and/or poor judgment.  Luckily for me, people tend to be able to differentiate the good guys from the bad relatively quickly.  

Although some think otherwise before getting to know me, I am not in the lifestyle for “easy” or “non-committal” sex.  Believe it or not, I took to the lifestyle to find love.  Yes, love, I was looking for a wife.

Like most people who know me, this revelation seemed to shock people.  Why on earth would you look for a wife in a swing club?  That’s like looking for a needle in a haystack! 

Growing up, my parents were swingers.  Although I did not know when I was a kid, I discovered their “secret” when I was in my teens.  It was confusing at first, but after the initial shock, I realized my parents seemed happier than any of my friend’s parents.  They didn’t say they had sex with other people, just that they had close relationships as couples.  It took me a little bit of research on my own to figure out what exactly they were trying to say.

After I turned 40, I realized that I had been serial dating for years and could not seem to find what I was looking for.  After internet dating sites, picking girls up at bars and being set up on countless blind dates I was ready to give up.  Many of the women I dated started out great, but not long into the relationship I could feel the change.  Sex was never as important to them as it was to me.  I wanted to find a woman who actually loved sex and this proved to be very difficult!

Growing up with parents who were constantly physical with each other, I knew this was possible, I just had to find it.  This is what led me to the lifestyle.  

Although there are not too many single women at any lifestyle event, there are always a few.  And guess what?  Many of them are in the lifestyle because they love sex!  It was not hard to meet unicorns and I have dated quite a few over the past few years.  Guess what?  This is not how I met my wife!

Believe it or not, I was in a swing club and saw your lifestyle jewelry!  I bought a necklace and started wearing it all the time.  Even if it wasn’t going to work, I love the design.

Not long after I started wearing it, I met a woman while at a sports bar who noticed the necklace.  She knew what it meant and we started to talk.  That was almost one year ago to the day and we are getting married in March.  Wow!  Best $50 I have ever spent!  And if you are all wondering, yes, she loves sex!

Sorry for the long story but it has a happy ending that I wanted to share with you!  I also want to give a shout out to your customer service girl Julie, who is so patient and kind!  Happy New Year and best wishes to all of you!

Carson

Detroit, MI

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

And remember, only Partners ID lifestyle jewelry is recognized around the world.