Why is swinging sometimes more enjoyable than others?
Swingers are always looking to meet the right couple (In this blog we are talking about couples) with whom to play. While we cannot predict which time it will work perfectly, there must be reasons why sometimes swinging is so much better than others.
What makes some experiences so much more positive than others?
You invite another couple to your home for an evening with the hopes of swinging. First, you have drinks, then a nice dinner, conversation, and then you settle in for some fun.
Take your time and make sure everyone seems to be on the same page.
Everything up to this point has been fun and easy. The hot tub looks inviting and so you all decide to climb in. It doesn’t take long for you and your partner to switch with the other couple and start fooling around.
One couple moves inside to the bedroom while the other couple remains outside. You play for a brief time and soon your partner arrives at the bed with the other person. Everyone kisses each other and lightly touches as they move next to you on the bed. The next few hours are fun and everyone is happy.
You see, swinging is so easy, right?
The answer is, when the situation works, yes. When everyone is on the same page and nobody feels slighted or left out, this is the result. Easy, fun, and you and your partner are happy.
Why then is it so often more complicated than this? What happens to contribute to a negative experience?
In my opinion, there are many variables when playing with other couples. One important factor is that both members of the couple are interested in playing with the couple you choose. If one is doing it to please the other, it will not work. We speak often about taking one for the team. While it is unavoidable at times, when planning an evening with specific people, there is no excuse for this.
What are some of the characteristics that make couples a bad choice when trying to decide?
(We are not talking about strangers here, we are strictly speaking about couples you have met before.) Some couples cannot seem to avoid drama. Either there are jealousy issues, one person is more eager to play and the other seems to simply go along, they bad mouth other swingers, some have insecurity issues, etc. Any of these issues will undoubtedly cause trouble when you try to swing with them. Besides, who wants to play with a couple who is going to talk about them after the fact?
What are some qualities you should look for in other swingers?
Good choices are couples who are connected to each other. It is clear that they love and support one another. They do not speak negatively about their partner or claim to be a better catch than their significant other.
Connected couples speak highly of one another and interact in a positive way. They are thoughtful of each other’s feelings and always look to make sure their partner is happy and comfortable. Playing with another couple is clearly something they enjoy for the moment and then they reconnect.
Happy couples make swinging fun. They seem happy when they arrive and they look happy when they leave. On the other hand, couples with issues create an unpleasant atmosphere and are often seen arguing or fighting during or after lifestyle events. These are couples to avoid, after all, who wants to host a couple who will leave your home in a fight?
Swinging is wonderful when it is fun.
When swinging becomes work, most people would agree, they would prefer not to bother. Making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is the most important thing to remember. What is good for you, is good for them. Don’t do to your partner what you would not want to be done to you. If swinging can be done in a positive way, it will enrich your relationship. If you are swinging to make your partner happy, it will never work. Other couples will become the victims of your concession, and that benefits no one.
The next time you are looking for that perfect evening at home with that perfect swinging couple, think about them. Are they happy and drama-free? Do they frequently leave lifestyle events hand in hand or are they arguing as they leave? Is one of them enjoying the sex while the other is laying there staring at the ceiling? These are things to consider if you want to have fun!
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