Swinging: The good, the bad and the ugly. Scenes from the playroom…

Pillow fight between swinging couple and a girl. All wearing Partners ID jewelry
Pillow fight between swinging couple and a girl. All wearing Partners ID jewelry

Are you a swinger?  If you are and you have been in the lifestyle for a while, you have witnessed some comical, odd or just plain bizarre occurrences.  It goes without saying that the whole process of swinging can lead to some very interesting experiences.

The moments leading up to actual “swinging” can also prove entertaining.


For those of you who go to swing clubs, the whole locker room scenario can be rather compelling to watch both before the couple enters the back room as well as upon their return.  It is possible that some people are oblivious to those around them, but for those who are people watchers, the entertainment value is not lost on them.  It begins with couples entering the locker room; some are loving and considerate.  They help each other disrobe and seem to be in good spirits.  Others clearly are not quite as happy and are not afraid to show it.  I have witnessed couples where one clearly does not want to go into the back and the other is undressed before they even get the locker opened.  It would seem to me that this is a disaster in the making.  We all know this can’t end well, back even though things are starting off so poorly, eventually, the couple will make their way into the back room.


When you see such a scenario in the locker room, this is the time for the couple to talk.  Swinging is not for everyone, but whatever their problem may be, this is something that should be ironed out prior to engaging with another couple.  If couples have rules regarding swinging, this too should be discussed ahead of time.  When couples head into the playroom with another couple, it can be too late to start a conversation regarding what works for them.  If they head back when things are not going well between them, this can also be a blow up waiting to happen.


When couples try to play with another couple without know their boundaries, things can get difficult quickly.   Sometimes everything seems to be so easy and uncomplicated; other times not so much.  In a recent visit to the back room, a very nice couple approached us while we were playing and started to touch us.  I looked over and they were an attractive, equally matched ( I know, how often does that happen?) couple and I knew my partner would be agreeable, so we welcomed them to join us.  Everything was going well, they were fun to play with and she was screaming with pleasure so I was sure she was ok.  She was ok, until her husband came.  It was like the exorcist, she sat straight up and start spewing obscenities at him.  I think at one point her head spun all the way around (just kidding).  She jumped off the mattress and stormed out of the back room leaving her husband to grab his towel and run off behind her.  Maybe they have issues with saying goodnight and this way they can avoid small talk?  It’s always hard to understand when I see things like this because 30 seconds before she was screaming and splashing all over the place.  Why was it ok for her but not him?  Interesting experience…


One night we witnessed two couples enter the back together and everyone looked eager to get down to business.  The couples switched and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.  One man pulled out a condom right away, climbed on top of the other woman and got busy.   It was moving along smoothly  until the other man reached for a condom.  The husband pulled away from the girl he was playing with and got on top of his wife, essentially blocking the other guy.  His wife seemed to think this was perfectly normal, wrapped her legs around his waist and was having a perfectly good time.  The other couple were sitting there with their mouths open.  What was that??  They tried to touch the couple but were totally ignored.  Soon after they got up and left.  I don’t think the couple will get a rain check…


Recently when in the back room we witnessed two couples meet at the bar and agree to move onto the mattress nearby.  One man quickly switched and was going down on the other mans wife.  The other man then turned toward the first man’s wife and tried to touch her.  She very politely took his hand off her and moved farther away from him.  Her husband and the other girl continued to play and from time to time his wife would touch his back or his arm but never pulled him away.  This went on for quite some time and several times the man would once again try to touch her only to be rejected completely.  After the couple was finished playing the foursome got up and headed for the locker room.  They were still there when we arrived and oddly enough everyone seemd very happy and friendly.  What????  Did I miss something?  Very strange.  I tend to doubt that many couples would feel this was a good experience.


We have had many nights when we are getting dressed to leave and see couples return from the back room.  Again, same scenario; some happy and laughing and others are fighting and yelling and cursing at each other.  It truly is an adventure to spend time in a swing club!  Never a dull evening and always a good show!