Reading the article which is intended to shame Roger Stone for being a “card-carrying” swinger, really made me mad. Trust me, this is not about politics and I have no intention of going down that rabbit hole. This is simply about seeing headlines each week where someone’s sex life being splashed across the headlines. Presumably, the media is looking to shame people for their sexual ‘improprieties’.
Last week it was Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots. While some claim the story was to shine a light on massage parlors and human trafficking, it seemed primarily aimed at shaming Kraft.
I am not defending anyone or looking to debate how people should conduct themselves in their personal lives. What bothers me is why this is anyone’s business. Why should anyone care what people do in their private life? As long as people are not hurting anyone, should their sex lives be exploited like cheap fodder for journalists and tabloids?
Does a person’s sex life interfere with what they can do on a day to day basis? Is it impossible to be a good employee because you enjoy non-traditional sex? Should we really judge anyone because of their sexual interests, desires or even perversions?
Let us take Bill Clinton as an example. While having an affair with Monica Lewinsky does not interest me in the slightest, using the Oval Office does. Had his dallying taken place in his bedroom (or hers), there would have been no reason for the public to become involved. His decision to have an affair really did not affect his ability to do his job. Cheating on his wife is between he and Hillary. We can argue that it makes him dishonest, but that is a whole different story.
I always find it interesting how Americans can’t get enough of these types of stories. They seem horrified when someone famous is exposed for doing something countless others do on a regular basis. (The mention of Americans is because these types of stories are not headlines in other countries.)
Often times we hear swingers talking about how important it is for them to keep their lifestyle a secret. They live in fear that if someone found out, they would lose their job and be ostracized from their community. Their families would be shamed and they would probably lose their vanilla friends.
Hearing this makes me wonder if this type of reaction isn’t a bit over dramatic. It would be easy to understand if we were talking about being arrested and going to prison for some horrible crime. In this situation, losing your job, your friends and potentially your family seems like a possibility. Engaging in a lifestyle with your spouse just doesn’t feel so scandalous.
Most of the people that I have met in the lifestyle are truly wonderful, warm and caring people. The kind of people that I am proud to have as friends. These are friends that I have come to know on a much deeper level than any vanilla friends I have ever had. Without a doubt, these are the friends that I would count on if I had a problem. Lifestyle friends don’t judge, which is definitely not a quality that we find in most people.
Shaming Roger Stone and his wife for being swingers is disgusting. It has nothing to do with his current situation and certainly is not something his wife should have to endure. For Robert Kraft, perhaps the lesson for him is to hire prostitutes who will come to his home.
The worst part is how many people are out there who hire prostitutes or cheat on their spouse and are ridiculing these men for what has been on the news. It seems impossible to believe that Americans are still playing the puritanical card as the porn industry has grown to epic proportions.
Hopefully one day, people will grow up and learn to mind their own business. Headlines such as these serve only to shock and appall the public.