People always seem to feel threatened by what they do not understand. For some reason swingers have always had a strange reputation. When people hear the word swinger, it seems to elicit an image of couples from the 1970s. Men wearing polyester shirts open to their navel and women wearing silk scarves wrapped around their heads. Even Law and Order SVU aired an episode that was supposedly taking place in a swing club. As soon as Oliva and Elliott (2 detectives) walked in, they showed people touching them and propositioning them. Although it is humorous, it is completely ridiculous. Any swinger will tell you that not only do people not act like that, they most certainly don’t look like they are from another era altogether!
Swingers are also always depicted as harsh and pushy. Watching movies and tv shows would make you believe that swingers think about nothing more than their next conquest. They plot and scheme while trying to lure their friends, neighbors and coworkers into the lifestyle. The reality is quite the opposite. Swingers generally prefer to stick with other known swingers. Trying to “recruit” others to swing, is difficult and dangerous at best.
Swinging is not for people who are unkind. Swingers make up a small community of tight knit folks who usually know many of the same people. Swingers mix with people from all walks of life. There is no concern with what your occupation is or how much money you make. Politics are rarely spoken about, as this is a topic that will surely divide people. Swingers are not looking for conflict. People are in the lifestyle to have a good time.
Swingers are people you see everyday. It might be your boss, your lawyer, your doctor, neighbor, coworker, cashier, gardener, painter, car mechanic, etc. Swingers are regular everyday people who have decided with their spouse or significant other to explore a different lifestyle. Are swingers different from everyone else? Maybe they are, but the truth is, it could be for a positive reason.
Swingers are “open”. Open in their relationships, open to trying new things, meeting new people, etc.. What I am actually referring to, is that from what I have observed, swingers do not discriminate. They do not seem to notice or care if couples are biracial, what their sexual orientation or gender identity is, etc.. If you were to study swingers in a club you would see that they seemly do not even notice. How wonderful is that? Could the rest of society not take something from this?
Swingers are special. It is not about sex, it is about the fact that as a population they are warm, inviting and inclusive; not like the real world at all. I have often marvelled at the whole concept of a swing club, especially the back room: Naked men and women walking around in towels (or not) randomly caressing someone as they walk by. Some people they know, some they don’t. Couples playing together and sometimes reaching out to others nearby to join them. You would think there would be too much testosterone and there would be many fights. Nope. In all the years I have been in a swing club, I have seen only one fight and it was not between members. It was a single guy who was non compliant and when asked to leave took a swing at the bouncer. Are you impressed at the level of respect between swingers? I am.
Perhaps instead of judging what they do not know or understand, people should respect peoples’ rights to privacy and freedom and to behave in any way that works for them. Nobody is trying to recruit the rest of the world to join in. As for now, we are a very special group and we are happy this way.