Newbies is a term swingers use which refers to people who are new to the lifestyle. The word “newbie” is not a new term and is even listed in the merriam-webster dictionary:
One of the wonderful things about the lifestyle is the variety of people it attracts. People from all walks of life are swingers. We were approached recently by a couple on a beach who spotted our flag and wanted to ask about the lifestyle. (Glad the flag works!)
They have never been in any type of lifestyle environment ( which is why we use the term “newbies”) and thought the nude beach might help them get some information about swing clubs and swinger resorts. They were smart because there are many swingers that frequent the nude beach. They had no idea how to know who was a swinger so the flag came in handy for that! The woman (who was wearing a rather conservative one piece bathing suit) was very apprehensive about the type of women she would find in a swing club. She somehow felt she would not measure up to swing club standards. The man did not seem particularly concerned with this and it should come as no surprise that she was in better shape than he. I suppose it is normal to have preconceived notions about what you will see on your first trip to a swing club and newbies are never sure if they will fit in. She went on to explain that she is not as thin as she was, or in as good shape as she was 20 years ago. She was afraid that all the women in a swing club or at a resort such as Desire or Secrets Hideaway would be perfect tens and that would intimidate her. She was concerned that they would all ooze sexuality and she was still raising children and did not really consider herself particularly sexy. She mentioned that she is not good with hair and make up and prefers a more natural look. How could she ever compete with all of the glamorous women with perfect hair, make up and bodies?
I was not sure why her perception of swing clubs was like this but we spent a good hour talking to them about the realities of lifestyle venues and what types of people you will find. We assured her that in any given swing club you will see a very broad spectrum of both men and women. It is possible you will spot a woman you think is the perfect model, but isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder? Every man I have ever met has different taste when it comes to women. Some look at breasts, some at legs, some at the face, some like certain hair and others like a combination of things. Some men like very thin women and some like very large women, so how can we decide who is a perfect ten? I told her if she is concerned that she will find a bunch of Victoria Secret models walking around the club, she is worried for nothing. Every swing club and swinger resort we have ever been to has been made up of all types of women. Tall, short, fat, thin, beautiful blown out hair styles, wet matted hair, curly, straight, long and short hair, big boobs, small boobs, no boobs, beautiful dresses, jeans, shorts, fishnets, you name it. Some women wear 6″ stilettos and others sport flip flops. Some women have had plastic surgery and some seem not to be interested in the shape or size of their bodies. There is no particular style or trend in any club I have ever been to. In my opinion, women should never worry that they won’t “measure up” in a swing club because there are all types of women.
The same goes for men. Men come in all shapes and sizes. You will find some men with hair, some without, some well dressed, some not. Some men have big bellies, some have big muscles; some are well endowed and some are not. The beauty of the lifestyle is everyone can play. Swingers do not seem to notice the color of anyone’s hair or skin and they seem unconcerned with what you do for a living. Bring a smile and a warm, open attitude and anyone can have a good time.
Life is too short to worry about what others might think. The beauty of the lifestyle is the variety of people you will meet and how the majority of people are just there to have a good time. Nobody cares what you are wearing or if your makeup is perfect. Wear what makes you comfortable and bring a positive attitude.
The couple seemed happy to hear that they would fit in just fine but before they left I did offer her a small piece of advice: After years of raising children and leaving your “sexy self” behind, you will shocked to see how fast it will return when you enter a swing club. Find what makes you feel good and wear it with pride. The only person you should want to impress is your husband and the same goes for him. As for the people in the club? They will like you if you are friendly, that’s all you need to fit in!