We spent the past few months in Canada as my husband was there for business. Besides the cold it was nice. We did get to spend almost every weekend in a local swing club which was a treat because it gave us the opportunity to get to know some folks. There was an attractive couple that was there every night we went but we soon discovered that we could not really get to talk to them because they were always with the same couple. At first we mixed up the couples as when they arrived, the couple switched right at the door so neither couple was with their husband or wife. We watched them dance and drink and kiss in the front before heading into the backroom. On a few occasions we saw one of the couples in the back but obviously they did not play in the same areas as their spouses. The male of one of the couples did seem open to meeting us but the female was not at all. We weren't sure what to make of the whole situation. Curious to hear what you guys think about this. Sounds like someone's going to get hurt big time somewhere down the line, no?
I think you were saying that one of the men was willing to play but as he was not with his own wife, this woman was not willing to share him?
That indeed sounds like a train wreck in the making. Personally, for us, we would never even consider being in a "relationship" such as this with another couple. That is not how we view the lifestyle or swinging. I don't really know many men who would be interested in that scenario but I do know some women who would be. At some point I am sure the man who is open to switching with this other woman is going to break free of this group and chaos will follow! For me this is not healthy and for sure it is not really swinging!
November 8, 2015
My wife seems to get attached to some of the guys she plays with. She would rather hang with one couple than hook up with different couples when we swing. I think she's just more comfortable when she gets to know a guy and says the sex is better when she knows them more. I way prefer to meet different people and have different experiences. which is why I am a swinger in the first place!
June 5, 2015
I don't really think it is possible or fair to decide what is right and wrong for other people. Every couple has it's own interpretation of swinging and they only have each other to answer to. I do think some men and women enjoy the thrill of sex with someone they don't know while others enjoy a more intimate experience with people they have a relationship with. If nobody is hurt I think it's really up to each couple to decide what works for them.
When 2 couples are always playing together I don't think thats normal. Its like they are in relationships outside there marriage and that aint right. Swinging should be just that. Meet someone new, have fun and leave. Even when I play single which is most of the time i don't hang with just one woman. I know theres a woman who always wants to get with me when I'm in town but i avoid doint that. You can't develop feelings for someone if you dont spend time with them.
Everyone is different when they play and everyone's definition of swinging is different. We have a few couples that we tend to always gravitate towards when they are in the club. We have been playing with them for years and they have become close friends of ours. I would hate to think that people are judging what we are doing because we are not hurting anyone. We do not like to just randomly have sex with another couple and leave. That's not how we see swinging but that's just us.
February 9, 2017
Swinging really means different things to different people. These people could be open to poly relationships and so it works for them. We have seen situations where the same couples play together over and over again. If you look closely though there always seems to be at least one person who would like to do something else. The whole point is swinging is variety right?
November 10, 2015
For me swinging is fun but I don't usually have any interest in playing with the same couples over and over again. We have a few friends that we have played with a number of times but if it's just a couple we meet while at an event then we only play one time. We also have seen couples who always play together but that's their business. I don't think they're hurting anyone. The only place I see a problem is that one of the men wanted something else and was stuck. That sucks but he needs to speak with his wife. I agree that the friendship could pose a problem if someone doesn't understand.
February 6, 2017
August 25, 2015
Maybe this couple is in a poly relationship? We ran across a few couples over the years who play exclusively with each other. I also suspected that one of the men in one of those situations was not really that happy. I could see him watching around while the woman he was with was monopolizing his time. He would try to talk to other couples and she would sit in his lap or try to take his attention away from them. It was definitely a little bit weird. I think swinging means different things to different people so who are we to judge? Sounds ike the couple needs to have a real conversation with each other.
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