I live in a large city and am tired of serial dating. Seems that relationships are more than I can handle at this point in my life.
I dabbled in the lifestyle with a former girlfriend and loved the atmosphere. I would love to try to swing as a single man. More often than not I see what I should not do. How about some helpful hints about what I should do? Why are some men totally ostracized while others are always included?
Any helpful advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!
First off I would like to say that I have been following the threads on this web site for awhile and appreciate the honesty I see from the people who post. Some of the other websites that I follow are a little hard to believe. The swingers all say the same thing: we love swinging, we never get jealous, we always have an orgasm when we swing, etc. PLEASE! I prefer to interact with people who want open, honest communication and real information.
OK, now that I got that off my chest I would like to respond to Jay's question.
I have been a single girl in the lifestyle (yes, a unicorn, and by the way I appreciated the blog post regarding unicorns I thought it was honest and fair) for a few years. Perhaps I can be of some help because of my own experiences. The first thing I learned was to be very friendly without being creepy. I move alone in a swing club and although I will stop and greet people I know, I try not to linger or hone in on people's conversations. When couples see you as being friendly but independent they seem to have more confidence in you.
Don't be overly agressive with women and always try to speak with the man first. Make sure you smell clean and your clothing is pressed. Have something to add to a conversation that is not sexual in nature. Don't stand too close or gawk at any woman. It is ok to pay a compliment but one is enough and keep it clean. The more respectful you are the more people will accept you. After that, you will reep the rewards of being single.
If you are looking to find something online, same thing: be respectful and interesting. Don't talk about sex and please don't show or send couples people of your junk. That will definitely not help you! Good luck!
June 5, 2015
Personally I do not understand why there are single people in the lifestyle. Sorry, I just don't accept it. If you are looking for a relationship, you all know that swinging is really for married couples looking for some fun. What on earth are single people looking for!? Go to a bar and meet other singles. You want sex, find a single person to have sex with. If you can't find someone, maybe something is wrong with you but swingers are not looking for you.
That's not true Linda there are many swingers who are looking for singles! Where on earth do you go to swing? As most people will tell you, unicorns are the most sought after people in the lifestyle. There are so many couples that look for a single girl and honestly there are probably just as many looking for a single guy! Alot of couples want to play as a threesome! How can you decide for everyone what is right for them? Clearly you are not a real swinger!
Good morning boys and girls. Sometimes a man must set things straight for those misguided soles who think they know what they is talking about. Single men are an intergral part of any swinger group and they are much desired but many a white woman. Trust me I know. I am Jamaican but that makes no difference to the ladies. I am intelligent, thoughtful, clean and kind and I have no problem finding women to play with when I attend any swing club or party. I have even taken lifestyle cruises at no cost just to be there as a single man.
Why am I there? For the same reason you are! To have fun! I live with my girlfriend and our kids but she don't really like to go out and party. I do. She knows what I'm doing and is ok with it because she knows the people there are not looking for a relationship with me, just sex. It works perfectly for us.
October 28, 2016
I know the admin does not like when I am rude to another poster on this site but please understand how ridiculous her posts are!
I respectfully disagree about swinging being only for married couples. Many people like to play with single men and women. It can be very hard to find couples that appeal to both parts of another couple but it is not hard to find singles that appeal to both. I enjoy watching my wife play with single guys and it frees my up to just watch. If it is another couple then I am obligated to play with the woman. My wife also likes to play with girls and it's the perfect situation when the girl is alone.
April 6, 2015
Welcome back Anthony!
I agree that at times some posters can be a bit pushy in their "opinions" but that is what a forum is for. Certainly we prefer a more politically correct approach towards voicing your opinion but we can't always control that.
As for singles in the lifestyle I have to agree that they are a valued asset to any swinger event. It is true that finding couples that appeal to each member of the foursome can be a challenge. The single eliminates the need for that. Many couples like to play as a threesome and that can usually only happen with a single.
October 30, 2016
Usually swingers are so friendly and inviting it's a surprise to read such a negative comment. I am female and I am married but my husband does not like to go out nights. I go out alone and spend most nights in a swing club. We have an open marriage so he is fine with that. I look for single guys when I am there both as company for the evening and to have fun with in the back. If there is something that bothers you about single men, you are free to avoid them. Same thing if single women bother you.
I have a question for Linda, do single women bother you as well? I assure you I am not there looking to steal your husband. I have one at home.
Why the monkey? Because I'm a real swinger.
July 13, 2015
Here is a new one for you. I am a bisexual male in a relationship with another man. He does not know that I am bisexual. Not sure why I wasn't honest at the beginning but it's not open for discussion with him at this point. When he is out of town I always go to a swing club in the next town. I am not looking for anything more than sex with a woman. I prefer the girls who like gang bangs because it allows me to get off and leave. One on one means I have to talk and i'm looking to share anything about myself.
Every single man I have met in this club is basically looking for the same thing, but obviously not for the same reason. They want to have sex and go home. No hard feelings, no need to call in the morning and no need to cuddle and make breakfast.
June 5, 2015
I always hate to see such negativity from someone who is in the lifestyle. We pride ourselves on our open minded ways and our inclusion of everyone regardless of their orientation. Honestly, I appreciate it when someone can open up and tell us their story but they should not be subject to criticism.
The most importnat thing for you, Linda, is to use protection if this is a concern for you. I assume that is why you have such a strong reaction towards a bisexual man. You might be surprised to learn that many men in the lifestyle have experimented with other men. I think it's a beautiful thing when people are free to explore their sexuality. Don't speak for others because I don't believe most people share your views.
As for the original post from Jay, I think you got some solid advice here. Be friendly, clean and a gentleman and you will have success! Best of luck!
October 30, 2016
Hey Damian, It is kind of sad that you are living like this. Wouldn't it feel better to have an honest conversation with your partner? We don't choose our sexual orientation so it isn't
something you have chosen to do to hurt him. I do enjoy my time with single men but even as a swinger, if I ask them if they are married, I prefer not to be lied to. I suspect you don't tell women that you are bisexual, do you?
Why the monkey? Because I'm a real swinger.
July 13, 2015
I tell the girls I swing with that I am in a relationship with someone, that's not dishonest. For Linda, I don't really understand what difference what I do in my private life has to do with you? I always wear protection when I swing. I am also afraid that I could catch something from you! I have news for you: if you think half the men you have played with in a swing club have never played with another man then you are crazy. I have been in more situations with women who want to play MFM and all of the sudden she is looking to watch the 2 men play. It might not be something people talk about but trust me it is happening!
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