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Bisexual men who do not disclose their true sexuality
March 17, 2017
9:57 am
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bija
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I read a post on another thread and thought this was worth discussing in its own thread so here it is:

"I am a bisexual male in a relationship with another man. He does not know that I am bisexual. Not sure why I wasn't honest at the beginning but it's not open for discussion with him at this point. When he is out of town I always go to a swing club in the next town. I am not looking for anything more than sex with a woman. I prefer the girls who like gang bangs because it allows me to get off and leave. One on one means I have to talk and i'm looking to share anything about myself.
Every single man I have met in this club is basically looking for the same thing, but obviously not for the same reason. They want to have sex and go home. No hard feelings, no need to call in the morning and no need to cuddle and make breakfast."

So curious to hear other people's thoughts on this. First, I was curious if women would be upset to learn that the man she played with was in a homosexual relationship. Second, I was interested to know it people think he must tell his partner that he is really bisexual.

March 17, 2017
11:43 am
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texascpl
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I suspect that when you're talking about a gang bang, there are lots of men in that line with secrets. Quite frankly I would not care to know any of them. There is a reason why each and every one of those men are excited by that train and I suspect alot of those reasons ain't pretty ones

March 17, 2017
11:54 am
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saxobeat
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It's unlikely that many people you meet in the lifestyle are telling you all their fantasies and secrets. I did have an experience with a man (I am a man) and trust me I am not in any way gay. I'm married for the second time (both long term) and I love women. I have never had any interest in men but did have an experience with one. Long story but there were lots of bodies and I getting the best blow job ever. Discovered toward the end that it was a man between my legs. I was so turned on I let him finish. I don't think this makes me gay, it makes me a guy who had a gay experience. Do I need to now share that with every woman I play with?

I don't think what people do in their lives is something they have to explain when they are swinging with another couple. As a swinger, you know that you rarely really "know" the people you swing with.

As for whether he should tell his lover that he also enjoys woman? In my opinion, yes. He is not being honest with his life partner and that is wrong. I would be devastated to learn that I didn't know something as important as that about my wife.

March 20, 2017
9:43 am
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Vanessa
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This is a great, but serious topic. I can't imagine being in a serious (let alone committed) relationship where my partner or myself are not disclosing such an important part of who we are. It reminds me of the days when men were trying so hard to hide their homosexuality that they would get married and have children, only to decide later in life that they couldn't stand living the lie any more.
I can't help but wonder why this man's partner would have cared at the beginning if he had been honest.
That being said, I do think I would want to know if someone I was going to swing with was actually in a homosexual relationship because for me, the fear of disease is heightened. I would like to make the decision to say yes or no to that. It now scares me to realize that I don't know if I've ever been in this situation.
As far as telling his partner, we are talking about a guy who is cheating on his partner. That's a whole other conversation, no?

March 20, 2017
9:59 am
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ari
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I have to agree that although we don't owe anyone detailed information about our personal lives, this is something both women and men might like to know before swinging with someone. I wonder though, how exactly that would work. I'm picturing this guy on a train and as he gets to the front he stops everything to announce it? I don't see how someone could bring up this topic. Unless you are having a real conversation with someone before hand, it would be impossible to talk about it.
I agree that he is basically cheating on his partner. Whether with a man or woman, that's what it is.

March 20, 2017
10:04 am
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Anthony
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This is touchy. I want to say that he should not be in a swing club but then i think to myself how many guys are already in the swing club that are just like him? I think i prefer to not think about it. I would prefer to know that a dude is gay before he plays with my wife. I have nothing against it, but from a protection standpoint I need to know. Just my opinion.

March 21, 2017
9:03 am
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kink
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This does open a new can of worms, no? I read this to my husband and we were not sure what to think. Sure, this guy is cheating on his boyfriend/husband whatever, and obviously that's wrong. I think we have wondered about single guys in the past, but only in terms of the fact that we imagined they were in a swing club and their wife was at home watching the kids.
To think about a man who is in a relationship with another man having sex with me? No, I'm not really ok with that. I think I deserve to know.

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