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Expected Behavior & Rules for Using The BackRoom
June 20, 2015
11:52 am

Welcome to the community! The best way to jump the hurdle from being a lurker to actually getting involved is by posting an "Introduction". We'd love for you to tell us about yourself and your interest and experience in the lifestyle. The faster we can get to know you, the faster we can make you feel at home. We only have a few major rules on this board:

1. No Spamming/Advertising of any kind. Spamming means signing up for an account to only post links to a website trying to sell something or has nothing to do with the conversations that are happening here. Such links will be removed and a user infraction issued. A special note for club owners and club hosts: We want you to feel welcome and we want your participation. If a member posts a request for information regarding clubs in your area, please feel free to provide information in a reply. Any other advertising within a forum without prior approval is not allowed. Owners and hosts are encouraged to use our “Swinger Club Listings and Reviews” feature to promote their clubs and parties.

2. No flaming/trolling/personal attacks. Personal attacks, name calling, and rude behavior will not be tolerated and will be handled through the infraction system. We do our best to be friendly group who gather to share questions, information, and ideas in a helpful and respectful manner, and want all our members to feel safe and welcome. If that is what you want too, then welcome to the community and we are thrilled to have you! This site is about swinging, so if you have a problem with swingers and swinging, then it's not the site for you.

3. No Political Posts/Threads. In order to keep harmony on the board, we do not allow political threads/posts. Any political comments, posts, threads, signature lines, etc will be removed and an infraction issued.

4. Internet Courtesy. Please don't type in all caps, don't cross-post the same message in several places, and please respect others by taking the time to make sure your posts are readable so others can understand and comment.

5. Phone Numbers and In Real Life Identifying Information. For the safety and privacy of all, we do not allow phone numbers or any other personal identification information to be posted in the forums. Any phone numbers and personal identification posted will be edited out for the protection of whoever owns that information.

6. Images - we welcome you to share your images in User Albums, User Profiles, Avatars, and Forum Attachments. However, there are some limitations on what may be shared. Please keep in mind that User Albums and Profile Pictures are viewable only by registered members, but Avatars and Forum Attachments are viewable by all, members and guests.

Not allowed anywhere -

Images in which a minor is visible in any way, this includes "funny" images and memes and computer generated images.
Images with illegal content.
Blatant advertising.
Copyrighted images.

Not allowed in Forum Attachments and Avatars -

Images of oral, anal, vaginal sex, masturbation, erect penis, or wide-spread legs revealing genitalia.
Keep it no more than R-rated.

User Album Guidelines -

Albums may be set to be viewable by all members or just select members (more details below in How-To's).
Beyond the blanket restrictions listed above, no limits on what you may include in your albums.
The albums feature is intended to be used by members to share pictures of THEMSELVES. This isn't the place to share your porn collection gathered from the internet.
Site Admin reserves the right to delete any picture thought to be in poor taste, not a positive reflection on the community, outside of community norms, etc.

How To Use the Swingers Board


You do not need to be registered in order to post here. However, registering will give you full access to post in all forums and reply to others posts.
Once you register you will still need to validate your email address before you are fully registered. You should receive instructions in your email to tell you how to do this. Some email services will block our emails as spam, so please check your spam filter for these instructions. If you still do no receive the instructions for validating your email address, email webmaster@partnersid.com from the email address you used when registering.
Having Trouble Staying Logged in? The best way to make sure you stay logged in after you log in is to make sure you check the "remember me" box just underneath where you enter your login details. This will ensure you stay logged in from page to page. Still not staying logged in? Check your browser and firewall settings concerning: a) cookies - make sure you are accepting them (at least from partnersid.com). b) referring pages - make sure that your firewall is allowing for the passing of information concerning referring/referral pages. c) IP information - the (forum) software must be able to detect IP information. If you are using an IP blocker or proxy server, you will have problems.


Reading: Simply clicking the thread title will open up the thread for reading and replying. To go to the NEWEST Post in a Thread: To go directly to the newest posts in a thread since you last read the thread, from the list of threads (either when viewing all the threads in a forum, or by clicking "new posts" on the top menu), you will see to the left of the thread title a little downward arrow. If you click this arrow INSTEAD of the thread title you will automatically be taken to the newest posts since you last viewed the thread.

Starting Threads: To start a new topic, find the most appropriate forum. Within all of the forums, at the top is an Announcement that gives a brief description of those forum's subject matter. If you aren't sure which forum you should post in, just post your question in General Swingers forum. Once you find the appropriate forum, look at the top or bottom left of the page for the "Post New Thread" button. Click that button and it will open the screen where you can add your new thread. To help others find your thread, please write the most descriptive title you can. A title like "Why?" will not get as many responses as a title like "Why does my partner like to fantasize about swinging but isn't willing to try?"

Replying to Threads: You may reply to posts in threads in a couple of different ways. Please note that once you post a reply, it may only be edited within three hours of posting.

At the bottom of each post there are several buttons. Clicking the "reply" button will take you to the "quick reply" box at the bottom of the page where you can enter your reply. You will also find this "reply" button at the top and bottom of the thread.
Just scroll to the bottom of the thread and you will see the 'quick reply' box. Enter your reply to the thread there.
If you wish to quote someone else's post you may do so by clicking the "Reply With Quote" button underneath their post. This will copy their entire post into the reply box. Please be sure to edit the quoted post to only quote the portion you are replying to.

Quoting Posts: There are three main ways to quote other posts in your replies.

1. To quote a post simply click the option under the post you wish to quote labeled "reply with quote". This will copy the entire post down to the reply box. Insert your own reply either above or below that text. Do not edit anything within the quoted text between the brackets [ ] - as doing so is likely to result in accidentally editing something that affects how the quote displays.

2. If you only wish to quote a part of a post, the best way to do this without risking removing formatting information is to highlight the portion of the post you wish to quote and use CTRL-C to copy that text. Then paste the same text into the reply box. Highlight it again, and then click the icon above the text box that looks like a word bubble (when you mouse over it, it will say "Wrap [QUOTE ] tags around selected text". Then type your response after the final end bracket.

3. Sometimes you may wish to reply to multiple questions or comments from several different forum members. An easy way to answer them without making a lot of separate reply posts is to click on the Attachment 2916 next to each post that you will be replying to. It is located on the bottom right of each reply on your thread. After selecting all of the reply postings you wish to answer, scroll down until you see a “Reply to Thread” button. Click on it and it will automatically quote all of the replies for you. Doing this will make answering the posts easy for you and easy for the reader to see who you are answering. After clicking on the “Reply to Thread” button, the response box should look similar to this: Attachment 2797 Now, you’re ready to answer by placing your responses after the “[/QUOTE]”. Like this: Attachment 2794 Once you’re done with your answers, you can click the “Post Quick Reply”, just like you normally do when you post. Of course, you don’t have to answer in this format if it makes you confused. If you are more comfortable making multiple postings to your thread, please go ahead and do that instead!

Inserting Links or Attachments in your posts:

Links: there are two options.

1. Copy the website address you wish to link. Once you have copied the website address, return to the reply box where you are posting. Highlight the text you have written that want them to click on. Then, in the reply box, click on the Attachment 2917 icon. A small window will pop up asking for the website address you copied earlier. Paste it into the link box. Press the "Okay" button and your link is now in your post.

2. The second option is to simply copy the website address (like in the first option) but instead of linking it to certain words you have written, you can paste it right into the reply box and once you post, it will automatically link it for you.

Attachments: To insert an image within a post, the file type must be one of the following: jpg, jpeg, png, or gif. In the reply box, there is an icon that looks like a picture within a frame Attachment 2918 Click on that icon and it will open up an Insert Image window. You can either upload a picture from your computer or you can insert an image from a different URL, these options are selected by clicking the appropriate tab at the top of the upload window. To upload from your computer, click Basic Uploader, browse on your computer to the photo you wish to upload and select it, then click Upload File(s). To upload from a link, simply copy and paste the link into the URL box and then click OK.

Thread Polls: A poll can be added to any thread in any forum, either at the time the thread is started, or you may add a poll to your thread later. To Post a Poll: Click the "New Thread" button from whatever forum you want the poll to be in. Enter your message in the box as usual, then scroll down below the submit button and you will see Additional Options, including Post a Poll. Check the box next to "Yes, post a poll with this thread". Enter the # for how many options you want in the poll. Click Submit New Thread. You will then be taken to another page that will allow you to fill in more details of your poll, what your poll question is, what options you want them to choose from, how long you want the poll to run, etc. Fill it all in, hit "submit" again, and you are done. To Post a Poll after you've already submitted the thread: Find the thread you want to add a poll to, click the arrow next to "thread tools" (just above the first post). A drop down list will appear. From that list select "add a poll to this thread". You will then be taken to the page to allow you to fill in the poll question, etc. just as described above.

Thread Subscriptions: There are multiple ways to subscribe to threads and/or forums you want to keep up with. The default setting (if you didn't change it in your profile settings upon signup or later) will subscribe you automatically to any thread you participate in (sending you a daily email with updated posts in your subscribed threads). CHECK THIS?? There are several subscription options that you may wish to choose from. You can mix and match these by setting one as your default but then changing it per thread as you participate in a specific topic. You can also subscribe to entire forums by using the "Forum Tools" option at the top of the topic list in any forum.

Subscribe but not receive any emails - this will list the thread on the main page of your User CP whenever it is updated.
Subscribe with instant notifications - you get an email EVERY time there is a new response.
Subscribe with daily notifications - each day you will get an email with any new posts to the thread.
Subscribe with weekly notifications - once a week you will get an email notifying you of any new updates to the thread.

Contacting Other Members & Private Message (PM's): While you may contact other users of the board privately, offensive or unwanted suggestive PM's or emails are not permitted and any user receiving emails or PM's that they find offensive should forward them directly to or webmaster@partnersid.com (via email). Spamming the community by sending out multiple unwanted messages will result in immediately being banned.

Private Messages: PM's are similar to emails in that they allow you to communicate with another user directly and privately. These are sent and stored on this website and you can access your PM's via your User CP. To send a Private Messages to another user:

Click on their name in their post and select "Private Message".
PM a member directly from one of their posts by clicking the Send PM button in the lower left of the post footer, which will automatically open a PM window where you can draft a message to that user.
You may also email or PM someone from their profile.

To help prevent spam, newly registered members may only PM site moderators and administrators for several days upon registering. Once that period has passes, you may PM any member. Along those same lines, before links can be inserted into PM's, the user needs to have demonstrated some small level of commitment to the community by posting in the forums. Finally, trusted members with a long track record on the site are allowed to include attachments with their PM's.

Email: To send an email to another user on the board (if they have the option enabled) click on their name next to their post and select "email this user" from the drop down list.

Instant Messenger: If a member has included AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, etc. information in their profile you can also contact them that way by clicking the icon in their post bit (the info listed next to their post) or via their profile.

Stories: If you are a registered member of the Swingers Board you are welcome to add your stories to our database. We do ask that you take the time to make sure that your stories are well-written, and that you run them through a grammar and spell-check program before submitting. If you use Microsoft Word or another word processing program to draft your stories, please save the file as a .txt file, and then cut and paste from that since that should strip out all sorts of hidden Word formatting codes that are problematic when posted into the site's content management system. Once you are comfortable that your story is ready to be submitted, go to the appropriate section (Swinger Stories or Erotic Stories) and Category (Anal, etc) and you should see the option to "Create Article" on the top right of the page. Please make sure you place your story in the appropriate section. Swinger Stories consist of sexual activity between at least 3 people, and may also include soft-swinging encounters (voyeurism/ exhibitionism). Anything that does not fit that criteria should be posted in the Erotic Stories. All story additions are moderated and will not be visible to the public until they have been reviewed. Stories that require extensive editing will be returned to the author for correction before they are accepted and published.

Photo Albums: All members can have a photo album. Albums may be reached by clicking Pictures in the navigation menu. Albums are only viewable by registered members, and may be designated either public or private. Public albums are viewable by all registered members, private albums may only be viewed by those members you grant permission to view the private album. Pictures may be up to 1200 x 1200 pixels in size. All pictures automatically go into moderation and must be approved by site staff, so there may be a short delay between posting your picture and it being visible. Any pictures violating these rules will not be approved and will be deleted without notification. Rules of thumb when it comes to any pictures you post:

Member pictures should be of themselves, not professionally produced porn and/or pictures collected from other sites.
No images having copyright
No minors visible in any photo whatsoever
No illegal content
No advertising
Site Admin reserves the right to delete any picture thought to be in poor taste or not making a positive contribution to the community.

Social Groups: Have an interest in cooking? Have an interest in swinging separately? Have an interesting in really anything, and enjoy talking with those that share your same interest? Then start a social group! The Groups page can be reached from the main navigation bar. Groups can be either public or private (invitation only), and are where you can discuss topics, share pictures, etc of your favorite things.

Blogs: All members can have a personal blog. The Blog section of the site can be reached from the main navigation menu. On the Blogs page, you can create your blog by clicking Create New Post found on the upper right of the screen. You may also leave a comment on another member's blog by entering your comment in the Leave Comment area under their blog entry. You may limit who can view your blog to just those on your contacts list either at the time you make your blog post in the post options, or else for your entire blog in your User Settings.

Chat: The Swingers Board Chat Room can be reached by clicking Chat in the navigation menu at the top of the page. The same rules for expected behavior apply in the chat room as on the rest of the site.

Articles: Articles can be thought of as long and in-depth forum posts. When the moderators see a forum post that delves deeply into a subject of interest and that is considered a particularly useful take on the subject, it may be "promoted" to an article so it is preserved and to make it easier for others to find the information instead of it being lost deep in a forum. Users may also wish to create their own articles, and for this, the process is the same as described above for Stories.

Visitor Messages: This is a rarely used feature here, but by way of explanation, all members can leave a Visitor Message for another member or view Visitor Messages left by others for that member by going to that members profile and clicking on the Visitor Message tab. Visitor Messages are public and may be viewed by all members.

User Profiles: To edit your profile click on your username at the top of the page. This will take you to your profile as you it is seen by others. You will notice next to each entry that there is a pencil icon . Click on the pencil icon next to the items you wish to edit.

Alternatively, you can click on "forum actions" on the top menu and from that drop down you will see "edit profile". This will take you to the full edit page, with all options. This is where you will want to go to edit your profile picture, avatar, signature, online personals sites user names (if desired), and other settings (those options will be in a list on the left side of the page).

Profile Pictures, Avatars, Custom User Titles, and Signatures: You may customize how others in the community see you by all of these features.

Profile Pictures: Profile pictures show in your profile as well as other places if you submit a story or article. Profile pictures may be up to 500 x 500 pixels, 195 kb in size. To add a profile picture, click on Settings in the upper right of any screen. Then click My Settings : Edit Profile Picture on the middle left of the screen. The same guides apply to profile pictures as member album pictures (please see above).

Custom Avatars: Avatars show beside every post you make in the forums. Avatars may be up to 100 x 100 pixels, 20 kb in size. To add a custom user avatar, click on Settings in the upper right of any screen. Then click My Settings : User Profile on the middle left of the screen. Avatars are viewable by both members and guests, so no more than R-rated and standard picture rules apply as described above (no minors, illegal content, advertising, copyrighted, etc).

Custom User Titles: Custom user titles show below your user name to the left of your forum posts. To add a custom user title, click on Settings in the upper right of any screen. Then click My Settings : User Profile on the middle left of the screen. Under Optional Information you will find a box where you can enter your custom user title.

Signatures: Signatures appear in the footer of all your posts. Signatures are limited to no more than 100 characters & three lines. URLS in signatures must be approved. Any non-approved URL in a signature will be removed and an infraction given.

Can I change the way the board looks?: You may be able to change the styling of the board by using the Style Picker in the bottom left of the page. This lets you choose different skins which change the color scheme and appearance of the board. When you change the style in this manner, it only maintains the chosen style until you log out. To change to your preferred style for all future visits, go to Settings in the upper right, then My Settings, then General Settings and near the bottom of that page will be Miscellaneous Options : Forum Skins.

Search: Using the "Search" feature. At the top of every page is a button that says "Search". Clicking it will take you to a search page, where you can type in a word or phrase and search all the messages on the board for it. Searches can also be refined to just forum posts, articles, etc. When you are dealing with a specific question this can be very helpful to quickly locate relevant information.

"Likes": You may "Like" another member's post by clicking the Like This Post button in the bottom right of all forum posts. If your posts receives enough Likes from others, it will be noted by the header bar changing color. You will by notified of any of your posts receiving a Like through the notifications system. "Likes" data is available for each member from their user information underneath their avatar seen to the left of all of their posts.

Reputation: Reputation is a system by which members can express their opinion on the value to the community of another member's post. Once you have reached a base level of reputation you will be able to leave both positive and negative reputation for others. Reputation can be positive or negative, and the extent to which leaving reputation for another member effects their reputation level depends on a giving user's "rep power". Basically, the higher your own reputation level, the more impact your leaving reputation adds or takes away from the receiving member's reputation level. New members, who have not developed reputation of their own yet, can still leave a reputation but it will only have a neutral effect on the total reputation of the receiver.The reputation is monitored by Admin, and any abusive or unwarranted negative reputation left for other is subject to reversal and removal. All reputation is anonymous unless you chose to identify yourself in the reputation comment. Many users prefer to use the "Likes" system to show their appreciation for a good post and reserve the reputation system for truly outstanding posts. The little green squares next to the member's user name is an indicator of how much positive reputation they have received in the past.

To Leave Reputation: The icon for leaving is the little star Attachment 2915 underneath a post. Click it to open the window to leave reputation.

When you Receive Reputation: You should be notified of new reputations left for you via the "notifications" tab at the top of the screen (same place you are notified of PMs).

Infractions: To maintain a community that can be enjoyed by all, we have a user infraction system. Here's how things work:

If your first post is spamming the board to advertise something, you will automatically be labeled a spammer and banned from the site. Beyond that.... any spamming/ flaming/ abuse/political postings/picture violation will result in an initial warning. Each time you misbehave you will be sent an infraction notice detailing your infraction. If you receive 3 of the same type of infraction within a one-year period, you wiill be banned.

The community is self-policing. If you see any activity that you believe is in violation of the community rules for expected behavior, please report it so it can be evaluated by the moderators and site administration. In the Forums, report a post by clicking on the icon that looks like two cards in the post footer. Albums and Blogs both have a "Report" link found on the page. Any issues with Stories or Articles can be reported by sending a PM to any moderator or administrator.


What are tags?: Tags are a way to categorize threads with similar subject matter and content, which is useful for helping both people and search engines find the content people are looking for. Tagging complements the normal search system, which searches only for certain words or phrases and/or posts by specific users. To use tags, you add words or phrases to threads to help describe the content. For instance, if the subject matter is 'photography' then you can add the tag 'photography' to the tag list. But you could also add tags like 'digital image', and 'camera' (depending, of course, on the nature of the thread). This will categorize this thread with all other threads that have matching tags, whether or not they have the word 'photography' in them.

Who adds the tags?: Tags are initially added to threads by the user who started the thread. Other users may also be able to add and remove tags.

How do I use tags?: Tags are displayed in a box near the bottom of a thread page. Clicking on a tag will allow you to view other threads that have the same tag - and which may be related. Clicking on the word 'Tags' in the top of the box will take you to an overview page with a 'tag cloud.' This cloud allows you to see which tags are the most popular - the larger the word, the more times it has been used on threads within the board. There is also another tag cloud on the advanced search page that shows you the tags that have been searched for (or clicked on) the most.


What are Your Notifications?: When you have logged into the board, a link to your notifications may be displayed in the 'Welcome' box near the top right of the forum. Your notifications will show if you have any one of the following:

Unread Private Messages
Unread Profile Visitor Messages
Profile Visitor Messages Awaiting Approval
Incoming Friend Requests
Requests to Join Your Groups
Invitations to Join Groups
Unread Photo Comments
Photo Comments Awaiting Approval

By clicking on the 'Your Notifications' link, you will be able to quickly see how many of each type you have received. Clicking on any of the links in the menu will take you to the relevant page within the User Control Panel or elsewhere in the system. If there are no notifications, then this link will be replaced by a link to 'Private Messages

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