Reading the article which is intended to shame Roger Stone for being a “card-carrying” swinger, really made me mad. Trust me, this is not about politics and I have no intention of going down that rabbit hole. This is simply about seeing headlines each week where someone’s sex life being splashed across the headlines. Presumably, the media is looking to shame people for their sexual ‘improprieties’.
Last week it was Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots. While some claim the story was to shine a light on massage parlors and human trafficking, it seemed primarily aimed at shaming Kraft.
I am not defending anyone or looking to debate how people should conduct themselves in their personal lives. What bothers me is why this is anyone’s business. Why should anyone care what people do in their private life? As long as people are not hurting anyone, should their sex lives be exploited like cheap fodder for journalists and tabloids?
Does a person’s sex life interfere with what they can do on a day to day basis? Is it impossible to be a good employee because you enjoy non-traditional sex? Should we really judge anyone because of their sexual interests, desires or even perversions?
Let us take Bill Clinton as an example. While having an affair with Monica Lewinsky does not interest me in the slightest, using the Oval Office does. Had his dallying taken place in his bedroom (or hers), there would have been no reason for the public to become involved. His decision to have an affair really did not affect his ability to do his job. Cheating on his wife is between he and Hillary. We can argue that it makes him dishonest, but that is a whole different story.
I always find it interesting how Americans can’t get enough of these types of stories. They seem horrified when someone famous is exposed for doing something countless others do on a regular basis. (The mention of Americans is because these types of stories are not headlines in other countries.)
Often times we hear swingers talking about how important it is for them to keep their lifestyle a secret. They live in fear that if someone found out, they would lose their job and be ostracized from their community. Their families would be shamed and they would probably lose their vanilla friends.
Hearing this makes me wonder if this type of reaction isn’t a bit over dramatic. It would be easy to understand if we were talking about being arrested and going to prison for some horrible crime. In this situation, losing your job, your friends and potentially your family seems like a possibility. Engaging in a lifestyle with your spouse just doesn’t feel so scandalous.
Most of the people that I have met in the lifestyle are truly wonderful, warm and caring people. The kind of people that I am proud to have as friends. These are friends that I have come to know on a much deeper level than any vanilla friends I have ever had. Without a doubt, these are the friends that I would count on if I had a problem. Lifestyle friends don’t judge, which is definitely not a quality that we find in most people.
Shaming Roger Stone and his wife for being swingers is disgusting. It has nothing to do with his current situation and certainly is not something his wife should have to endure. For Robert Kraft, perhaps the lesson for him is to hire prostitutes who will come to his home.
The worst part is how many people are out there who hire prostitutes or cheat on their spouse and are ridiculing these men for what has been on the news. It seems impossible to believe that Americans are still playing the puritanical card as the porn industry has grown to epic proportions.
Hopefully one day, people will grow up and learn to mind their own business. Headlines such as these serve only to shock and appall the public.
When a friend confides that her sex life has diminished, would you suggest visiting a swing club? I did…
A friend recently confided in me that her sex life has become pretty non existent. After years of great sex, it no longer exists. She wondered aloud if he no longer found her attractive. There was no concern of another woman, they were very happily married. I asked if perhaps it was a hormonal problem and she said she did not believe that was it.
So what’s happening? My friend is very attractive and takes good care of herself. She has a great figure and wears form fitting clothing to show it off. I decided since she was coming to me for advice, I would take a chance.
“A few years ago, my husband and I were in a sexual rut,” I explained. “Sex had become routine. We decided to try toys, watch porn and role play. Although it was exciting for a while, we found ourselves looking for something more. My husband suggested a strip club and this was also exciting at first, but soon we were bored. It was during a night at a strip club that one of the dancers suggested we try a swing club.”
I held my breath and waited for her reaction. She leaned in close to me and with bated breath asked quietly, “And?”
Not sure how to proceed, I turned the tables. I asked her what she would do. Would she be willing to try a swing club?
As I listened to her talk about how disgusting the thought of this was, I stopped her. I decided to take a chance and tell her we had tried it a few times. Very nonchalantly I described the first few nights we had actually visited a swing club. The nerves, the anticipation of what I would see, what I wore and finally what I thought of the experience.
This is perhaps the most important thing that vanilla couples misunderstand about what happens in a swing club. I was honest about my fears regarding what type of people would actually spend time in a swing club. The thought of half naked people walking around touching each other was a fear of mine. I was sure the people would be old and unattractive; that the club would be a dungeon full of scary sights. Not knowing what to expect is perhaps one of the biggest reasons that people shy away from swing clubs.
Her eyes were large as she listened intently. She was dying to know what the club was actually like. It was more shocking for her when I told her it was the exact opposite of what I had imagined. The club was beautiful and upscale. The people were warm and friendly; easy to talk to and quite interesting. Many were professionals and most were genuinely normal, everyday type of people.
I continued to explain that I did not see anything alarming or perverse. Some couples were busy in groups, talking and laughing, some couples were dancing and others simply sat and observed. Both women and men were well dressed. Some women were a bit sexier than others, but if I had not known I was in a swing club, I would not have thought anything was odd. Except, perhaps for the fact that people were so friendly and there was a monitor over the dance floor playing porn.
She was curious to hear whether we had seen people having sex while at the club. There was no intent on my part to reveal that we have been in the lifestyle for many years and spend every weekend at this club. My only interest was to help shed some light on the truth about swing clubs. My answers reflected my views when I was new to the lifestyle.
I admitted that we, too, were curious and so after a few visits to this club we decided to check it out. There was no way I was going to tell her that we had to change into towels to go into the back room, so I left that part out.
It seemed best to explain how respectful others are in this situation. You go at your own pace. If you simply want to watch, that is fine. Some couples simply play with their husband or wife, while others opt to trade partners as they play side by side. Some people like to play as threesomes and some prefer to be in a private room.
I did admit that it was a very exciting way to spend a night. That first visit to the club had ignited a sexual flame within the both of us. The club had a sexy vibe and we liked that. Watching other people having sex was erotic and exciting. The atmosphere is like none other.
My final bit of advice to her was to do some research and perhaps try it out. There is no pressure to do anything. Many people go to swing clubs and simply socialize. Some drink and dance. The most important thing is to do something in her marriage to get it back on track.
The simple act of going to a swing club brought my husband and I closer after just the first time. We were now partners in crime and had something that we did not share with others. It was our secret and it was shocking how it helped us to grow as a couple.
The bottom line is that going to a swing club is an experience. Perhaps one couple will love it and another will not. It is not a commitment of any kind and there are no promises or guarantees of what will happen on any given night. The most important thing to remember is that it is something you do together.
Looking to find other swingers? Wear lifestyle jewelry so others can find you! Shop for the jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
My husband and I have been wearing your jewelry for about 6 months. No one has ever asked if it has any special meaning. One friend did point out that they were both of the same design. We laughed and said that this is why we each bought a piece. Much like wedding rings, it makes us feel connected.
We are avid golfers and spend a lot of time at our golf club. Over the years, we have gotten to know most of the members. This is strictly a vanilla club.
As we are in the lifestyle, we have created two separate lives: our night life and our day life. There is no question that people would never suspect that we are swingers.
Like most weekends, we had plans to play golf with some friends. At the last minute, the couple we had planned to play with had to cancel. As a result, we were randomly paired up with another couple looking to play. Although we have known this couple for at least 8 years, the wife is a new golfer so they usually try to play alone.
After teeing off on the 3rd hole, my ball went very far to the right. As I approached I realized it went into the lake. The man who joined us drove up in his cart to hand me a ball retriever. Just after hitting my ball, he offered me a ride to catch up with the others. As soon as I sat in the cart, he started to laugh. I was confused and looked over at him. The man reached over and gently held the pendant of my necklace in his hand. He told me that they have been in the lifestyle for quite awhile and also have your jewelry.
This was a huge surprise! We have known this couple for a long time and neither of us would have ever suspected that they are swingers. It was equally as shocking for them to discover that we are also swingers.
This couple, like ourselves, prefer to travel for lifestyle events and parties. Over the past few weeks we have been in constant contact as it turns out, we are both going on a lifestyle cruise in April!
You often tell people that it’s impossible to know who the other swingers are, and as you can see, this is true! Certainly, without the jewelry, we would never have guessed. For instance, here is a couple that we have known for 8 years and never suspected.
Everyone needs to wear your jewelry. It really is the only way to know who else is in the lifestyle!
Lauren and Andy
City withheld, AZ
Before Partners ID was born, my husband and I had been in the lifestyle for many years. Some of our favorite lifestyle activities included going to swing clubs and a local nude beach. We traveled to Desire and Hedo and had ventured out on a lifestyle cruise. At times we checked out swinger dating sites for private party information and to meet other swingers online.
Regardless of the fact that we knew where to go to meet swingers, something was missing. We have always been proud to be in the lifestyle but we also practice discretion. It is clear to us that there are many benefits to being in the lifestyle but most vanilla couples cannot understand this. Most people are not open to the concept of swinging. For this reason, most swingers prefer to keep the fact that they are in the lifestyle to themselves.
At times we would wonder about couples we would spot on the nude beach. Quite often, we would spot an attractive couple and try to figure out if they were swingers. It occurred to us that other than flat out asking them, there was really no way to know for sure if they were in the lfiestyle.
Not long after we had started to think about this, we took a trip to Cap D’agde, the naturist resort in France. This community boasts as many as 50,000 visitors during their busiest times of year. While the majority of people who visit are nudists, Cap D’agde also attracts many swingers. During the summer months, Cap D’Agde reports that they can host upwards of 10,000 swingers at certain times. Although that sounds like a lot, it is only about 1/5 of the population at the resort.
One thing about this is very important to understand. While swingers can also be nudists, most naturists are not swingers. More importantly, many naturists are as opposed to swingers as many vanilla couples are. That creates some difficulty in an environment such as this. Swingers are all excited to mingle and meet others in the lifestyle, but how can they decipher who the swingers are without asking?
It was at this point that we started to realize that something very important was missing from the lifestyle. Swingers needed something to identify themselves to each other without alerting everyone around them. A symbol that was designed only for this purpose. It had to be too complicated to google yet easy to spot.
The decision was made to do something about this problem while on the beach in Cap D’Agde. There were 3 couples involved: one American couple, one French couple and one Australian couple. If there was a simple pendant that we could wear, that would identify us to others and others to us, this very vacation would have been so much better!
This concept made us think about other aspects of our lives. Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet other swingers in a local bar, at a grocery store, at a sporting event? There would no longer be any reason to constantly wonder if other people were swingers.
Since its inception, customers have written us hundreds of emails. They relate stories of how they have met others swingers because of the jewelry. Each note always says the same thing: “We would never have met these people if it wasn’t for the jewelry.” That is exactly why it was created.
Now imagine if everyone in the lifestyle wore this pendant….
To see our collection of lifestyle jewelry click here:
My husband and I have been married for 10 years and although I love him, I need more sex than he does. At the beginning the sex was hot and often, but after a few years, he was happy to have sex twice a week. For a while I simply satisfied myself, but after we discovered swinging, everything changed.
Swinging woke him up sexually and that has been a positive for both of us. More importantly is that I can go to a swing club and have sex with many men in one night. My husband loves to watch and if he finds a woman he wants to play with, he likes to hear about what I was doing while he was busy.
Although I love the sex I can have at a club, I discovered what I was really looking for was the freedom to have sex with other men. As in, what I want, with who I want, when I want!
I discussed this with my husband and he told me the thought of my meeting other men for sex was a huge turn on for him! All he wanted was to hear all about it. He suggested trying to video tape encounters on my phone so that he could watch what happens. I wasn’t sure how many men would agree to this but I said I would do my best.
The only problem was, how to let men know that I am available. I work in a bank and I meet many men but flirting is frowned upon by management. We had seen your jewelry before and decided that this would be a way to accomplish this! Not only would I be able to let other swingers know that I am a swinger, but I love black men and so adding the queen of spade charm was perfect!
I did not meet someone right away but I got a lot of compliments on my necklace. One of coworkers is obsessed with it which makes me laugh. At first I thought maybe she was a swinger but she has no clue what it is.
It took a while but finally I had a bite! It was a regular customer and he simply handed me his deposit and his personal calling card together. He smiled and told me to have a nice day. I think I got wet just thinking about what this meant! I sent him a text as soon as I was on a break and he responded right away! He and his wife are swingers and they have an open marriage! He is allowed to meet other women as long as he tells his wife!
We met up for drinks the next night after work and headed right over to a motel nearby. He was not open to the video idea but said my husband could listen in over the phone if that would make him happy. The sex was incredibly hot and lasted quite a few hours. We talked about the necklace and he asked about the extra charm. I told him that I love black men (he is not) and he told me he knows quite a few from their circle of swingers. He said he could ask them to call me if I liked. This was unbelievable! Needless to say, I was thrilled!
Long story short, I have been very busy after work and wanted to tell you that the jewelry definitely works!
Hugs and kisses
Check out the necklace this hotwife is wearing here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/product/spade/
What brings women into the lifestyle?
For women who are not in the lifestyle, it is common for them to believe that women are not really in the lifestyle on their own accord. Most vanilla women tend to think women are being pushed into this by their partners. This wild life of sex can only be something that appeals to men.
Is this true? Are women only in the lifestyle to make their significant others happy? The best way to find out what is fact and what is fiction is to see for one’s self.
While the swinging lifestyle conjures up images of orgies and gang bangs, it really is so much more than that. It is a lifestyle of friendship and acceptance. It is a wold of open minded adults coming together for a common good.
What do women gain from the lifestyle?
The first thing that comes to mind is confidence. The lifestyle is not only about you and your partner as a couple, it is also about you as an individual.
Let’s be honest, it is not easy growing up female. Most women would agree that we are held to a much higher standard than men. First, we are expected to be perfect. Not only the way that we look and dress but the way that we act. This is something that begins when we are very young. Unfortunately the standards don’t really change as we age.
To begin with, young girls are constantly seeing images of beautiful women in magazines and on tv. These ideals are things that girls grow up believing to be of utmost importance. If having a perfect body, hair, makeup and clothing is not a must, why are those predominantly the images we see.
Women have been calling for change for at least the past several decades and although we have made many strides, we are still falling short.
If you google “Top Female Celebrities 2018” you will see what I’m referring to. The first 15 names to appear on that list:
There were still two more women before I even got to Angelina Jolie. Imagine, this is the list and I did not even query attractive or hot in my search. Imagine if I had…
So here are the top female celebrities from 2018. These are the faces and bodies that little girls are growing up comparing themselves to. It is easy to see why women are so critical of their own looks.
The other standard that only seems to apply to women is with regard to sex. When men sleep around they are studs, when women do it they are whores. Why the double standard?
Enter the lifestyle…
Before entering the lifestyle, I imagined every woman would be a perfect 10. The thought of competing with such beautiful women for the attention of men seemed daunting. It was reminiscent of high school and made me very nervous.
Our first night to a swing club proved me wrong. The variety of women that were in the club was a huge surprise. Some old, some young, some thin, some over weight, some tall, some short, etc. Many women were wearing sexy dresses, many wore jeans and sandals. There was definitely no predominant “type” of woman.
It did not take long to discover that women in the club were sexy for a whole different reason than the size of their body parts. I also discovered that women in the lifestyle were applauded and held in high regard for their sexuality. Suddenly, the double standard was gone. Women who had spent their lives hiding their desire to explore sex and their sexuality were applauded.
The lifestyle empowers women. It allows them the freedom of expression in every way possible. No more judgment about either their size or their sexual appetite.
The lifestyle proves to women that regardless of their appearance, others will find them attractive. Some people like bigger women, some like smaller, just like women all have different ideas of what makes a man or another woman attractive.
Women have a lot of power in the lifestyle and it spills into their real lives as well. The lifestyle gives a voice to women. Women soon discover that they are not there to please their partners but rather to please themselves. The lifestyle teaches women to love their bodies. Many lifestyle venues are a mixture of nudists and swingers, both who seem confident in their naked bodies. This is a beautiful thing.
The bottom line? What women gain from swinging is more than just fabulous sex. It allows them the freedom to be who they are and to feel good about it.
Check out our lifestyle jewelry! Makes it easy to spot and meet other swingers! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
In the back room of a swing club this past weekend, my husband and I squeezed into a very small spot on a mattress. Not because the surrounding couples were of interest, but simply because it was the only free spot we could find.
I couldn’t help but wonder if the back room could be any more crowded. Couples were everywhere, using every available space they could find. Many couples simply played standing up, a few occasionally backing into an emergency exit and setting off the fire alarm door.
This particular Saturday was not even a special night at the club. SDC, Kasidie, SLS and Quiver tend to bring big crowds, but they were not in the house. It was not New Years or Halloween. It was just another Saturday night at Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale.
It seemed ironic to me because that same day I had come across an article in Time Magazine titled, “Why Are We All Having So Little Sex?”*
Clearly, the word all, does not include swingers. We are not only having sex, it is standing room only!
Perhaps, once again, swingers are making a good argument for their decision to engage in consensual non-monogamy. Sex, the way swingers are having it, is not boring or routine. It is not an obligation, nor is it a game of wait and see who initiates.
Swingers are out of the house when they are looking to play and that might be one of the most important details. Swing clubs promote sex as dessert. People come in to eat dinner, have drinks, dance and finally head into the play area.
Maybe one of the key aspects of swing clubs is that sex is not at home. It is almost like checking into a hotel. Even couples who have fallen into a rut at home are more likely to have sex in a hotel. The scenery is different and there are less distractions. Most importantly, the kids are not there.
Couples make sure to clean up and dress smart. Women want to be sexy and men want to look hot. The whole process of getting ready is a part of the allure.
At a swing club, sex is on the menu. You can have it if you choose, if not, that’s ok too. The temptation, like chocolate cake, is that it is available. Right behind the closed doors is an oasis of naked bodies looking for some fun. Just like the cake, maybe you will have just have a little taste or maybe, you’ll have it all!
The point is, swingers have not let the ball drop on an important aspect of both their relationship with their significant other and their general well being. Sex is good for you. It is exercise, there’s no calories, no chemicals and they can’t do it with their smart phone or computer. It is good old fashioned face to face (if that’s how you like it) contact with another person.
You don’t hear couples in a swing club discussing whether or not they feel like having sex tonight. What you might hear is with whom they would like to have sex.
Perhaps one of the issues regarding sex and long term relationships is not simply the routine of sex but the lack of desire you see from your partner. The beginning of many relationships is marked by lust. You simply can’t get enough of your partner and they can’t get enough of you. Sex is incredible and you want it constantly.
When couples move in together the insatiable desire tends to wane. We do everything we can to keep the flame burning but over time, life seems to get in the way. You let your hair down and your partner does not always see you at your best.
You might try new things in the bedroom but after a while, you run out of new things to try. And let’s face it, although you love your partner, the excitement eventually dulls.
This is where swingers have it figured out. If we swap partners, we all win. Everyone gets to be with someone new and exciting. The women and men are dressed to impress. They are hoping to attract a new person to play with but at the same time, your partner is noticing you in a new way as well!
I remember the first night my husband and I decided to go to a swing club. He looked amazing and I was wearing something way sexier than I had worn in years. We barely made it to the club because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the car.
When couples break out of their routine and try something to ignite their sex lives, they might be surprised at the result. Couples don’t swing because they no longer love their partners, it is the opposite. They want to find that spark again. Feeling beautiful, sexy and desirable is important for both men and women. Swinging is a great way to reestablish those feelings.
For many couples, swinging sounds like a bad idea. They worry that their significant other will find someone new. It is a common fear for newbies but this is not usually the case. When couples enter the lifestyle properly and with the right intention, this is very uncommon.
The real problem is for couples who are not having sex. Even as we age and find ourselves in committed relationships, we are still human. Humans are sexual beings and naturally crave sex.
What happens when couples who no longer have sex are still looking for that validation that others find them attractive or desirable? This can be a slippery slope. Looking for validation in the wrong environment can lead to trouble. This type of behavior often leads to cheating.
The take away? It is natural for sex to become less exciting in a long term relationship but it is not natural to stop having sex. When I read the article asking, “Why are we having so little sex,” I am quite sure I said, “Not me” out loud.
If you love your partner and are simply looking to spice things up between the two of you, swinging might be for you!
Spotting other swingers is easy when you wear lifestyle jewelry. See the collection here:: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/
One of the many useful things that the internet has brought to us is our ability to communicate. We email friends, we stay in touch with grade school buddies on Facebook, we comment on issues trending on Twitter, etc.
It becomes especially apparent that being able to communicate with others like ourselves is helpful when we have a question and don’t know where to turn. Close friends and relatives can be great resources, but sometimes we are looking for advice about things we prefer not to share with people close to us.
Back in the 1970s, many people enjoyed reading advice columns such as Dear Abby and Ann Landers. The problem with those columns is they dealt with pretty much any kind of problem. It was rare that what a reader was asking about was something of genuine interest to the general public.
The internet originally brought us chat rooms, which allowed us to communicate with others with similar interests. Before becoming riddled with predators and other sketchy characters, chat rooms were somewhat useful. One of the downfalls was that the only people who would see your question were those online at that moment.
Today, with so many social platforms, finding forums online is very easy. This is especially true for swinger sites. Most swinger dating sites include a forum. Although popular websites such as Craigslist and Reddit also contain forums with swinger type discussions, they tend to attract trolls. These participants are not there to help but rather to either provoke sexual talk or rile up the writers.
It is no surprise then, that so many swingers turn to forums on sites designed specifically for swingers. There are quite a few out there and they are all very helpful.
Situations that arise for swingers are unique and only another swinger can possibly relate. The discussions range from topics such as ‘How to get my significant other into swinging’ to ‘I get off watching my husband get pegged, is that normal?’
In times of uncertainty, swingers generally cannot discuss problems that arise from swinging with their family or vanilla friends. Most swingers will not call their mom on Sunday morning to complain that their husband wants them to try double penetration and they are not up for it. Or that they took one for the team the previous night and were not happy about it.
At times, swingers prefer to discuss their problems anonymously. They might be looking for perspective on a situation they have encountered. Perhaps a close swinger friend is a good resource but sometimes people would like to speak their mind and remain anonymous. It is very easy to be honest when nobody knows who you are. This applies to both the person posing the question and the people who respond.
Forums truly are a wonderful tool to help navigate all things lifestyle. At times simply reading what others have to say helps to give swingers perspective on how others see situations.
Swinger forums are also wonderful resources for party ideas, shoe shopping, vacation destinations and swing clubs. If you reach a forum and do not see what you are looking for, start your own topic! Most forums will send you an email alerting you that someone has responded to your post.
Forums have truly made it easy to get the answers to whatever you might be looking for. Anyone can join and comments are always welcome. Sure, sometimes people will not agree with you, but either way, it helps to get perspective whether it is positive or negative.
To reach Partners ID forum click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/forum/