How easy it is to meet others swingers when you spot our lifestyle symbol.


Dear Partners ID,

We read all of your blogs and really enjoy reading about how people meet other swingers while wearing your jewelry. The need for a lifestyle symbol is over, you created it and it works.    Here is how we know this for sure!

A few months ago, we purchased two black rings from your website.  You were running a promotion that included a free bumper sticker.  When the package arrived, we slipped on the rings (which we love) and decided to put the bumper sticker on our mailbox.  The simple design seems to go unnoticed by people who don’t know what it means.

About one week after adhering the sticker, I found a plain white envelope on top of the mail left in the box.  It simply had our address scrawled on it.  I opened the envelope and there was a note with a business card.  I was about to toss it aside when I noticed the sexy couple pictured on the card.

The note was from a couple who passes our house every day on their way to work.  They noticed the sticker on the mailbox and wanted to say hi.  I picked up the card and looked carefully at the couple in the picture.  There was an email address and a Kasidie screen name.  

I ran to my computer and looked at their profile on Kasidie.  They looked to be a bit younger than we are but both looked attractive.  As soon as my husband returned home I showed him the note.  He was shocked that someone actually noticed the sticker and acted on it.

We sent an email and invited them for cocktails.  They accepted the invitation and we made plans for that same weekend.  Long story short, this couple lives one street over and our children go to school together.  This was the first time either of us had seen each other.  

Cocktails turned into a quick pizza dinner and they stayed well past midnight.  I would have liked to say we played with them but as I mentioned, we have children so that was not possible.  We do have plans to meet out for dinner and (maybe more) in a few weeks.  I can’t tell you how excited we are!  

They have been in the lifestyle for a few years and recognized the lifestyle sticker as soon as they saw it.  It took a few days to figure out how to approach us but this worked!

Thank you for the added gift!  We have new friends who live one block from us!  We would never have met them if not for the sticker!  

Looking forward to our future rendezvous!  

Big hugs!

Jessie and Brian

Livingston, NJ

We are still offering free bumper stickers (or mailbox stickers) for free with the purchase of 2 black rings.  You can see them here:

The Partners ID Black Lifestyle Ring – Buy 2 Rings get a FREE Bumper Sticker


Have you ever been sure another couple swings but did not want to ask?

Woman at barbecue with swingers necklace

Hi Partners ID,

This story should help others realize why this jewelry is important.  Everyone in the lifestyle spends so much time trying to find other swingers.  Half the time, they are right under your nose, you just don’t realize it!

My wife and I are big football fans.  Having both grown up in the same state, we are fortunate to root for the same team. Our three boys are also very big fans of the sport as well.  For years we had 5 season tickets and never missed a game.  We tailgated before every game and never left before it was over. 

Now that our sons are grown and have lives of their own, it is just the two of us attending games.  We still enjoy tailgating and have met many people over the years who do the same.  

Here’s the part you are waiting for.  As we have met many couples over the years at football games, we have had our suspicions  about which ones might be in the lifestyle.  Although we have always prided ourselves on having an ability to pick out the swingers, this was not a place we wanted to take the chance.  We tried dropping hints, using the term vanilla, etc., but no bites from any of the couples we suspected.   It got to the point that my wife wanted to simply ask two of the couples.  She was so sure that they were both in the lifestyle.  I begged her not to out us to this group just in case she was wrong.

Many couples at our local swing club wear Partners ID jewelry.  Having admired it for so long, we decided to each buy a piece.  As we know by now, most swingers are aware of your jewelry and so we decided to wear ours to a football game.  We made sure it was easy for other people to see it during the tailgating party.  We made it a point to speak with all the couples we had suspected might be in the lifestyle.  Nothing!  I had a moment when someone admired it but I realized it was just a compliment and nothing more.  It seemed pretty obvious that these couples were probably not swingers. 

During the game, I left my wife to go the restroom.  When I returned, a woman was sitting in my seat chatting with my wife.  When she saw me she jumped up.  She took out her cellphone and handed it to my wife, who inputted her number and said we would be in touch.  My wife introduced me to the woman before she quickly returned to her own seat.  

Guess what, she saw the jewelry!  They have had the seats a few rows in front of us for 7 years and had often waved to us.  Although, prior to today, we had no way of knowing, they are swingers!  

We did meet them for drinks the following weekend and they are a super couple. It turns out, this couple noticed us about 5 years ago.  They had no idea we were in the lifestyle and had no intentions of ever asking.  It was the jewelry that told them that we are swingers!  There is no question that we will see them again soon.

The most unfortunate part of this story is that it made us think about all of the missed opportunities.  Obviously this is not the only time we have been around other swingers and simply had no way of knowing.  

We now wear it everyday and look forward to discovering who else we have been overlooking all of this time!

Thanks for listening!

Warmest wishes,

David and Kate

Miami, FL

See the beautiful jewelry David and Kate were wearing here:

Trapeze Club has earned its reputation as being among the best swing clubs in the world.

Trapeze Club

Trapeze Club is one of the most well-known swing clubs in the world.  Besides being highly celebrated, it is arguably one of the best swing clubs in the world.  We feel confident that an overwhelming number of couples would agree.  While we have not been to all,  we have visited many swing clubs all over the world.  This gives us a broad base of comparison from which to judge.

Working your way up to obtaining the elite status of one of the best swinger clubs in the world is no easy feat.  There have been more than a few ‘ebbs and flows’ for the owners of Trapeze to reach this peak.

Trapeze is not a fly by night club.  This club has been around for 25 years.  For those who do not know the history of Trapeze, this is a club that has overcome some tremendous hardships along the way.  Two of the more notable obstacles are the fire that burnt down one establishment followed by a raid from the police in the second club.  When the patrons inside the club were corralled and arrested, the owner not only bailed the customers out of jail but went to the supreme court to fight for the right for adults to swing.  They won!

Winning this case, which garnered a tremendous amount of media attention, caused the club to explode in popularity.  Curiosity seekers and those too afraid to risk arrest in the past came out in droves.  This was the beginning of tremendous growth for the club.  Customers admired the owners for fighting for their rights to swing legally and Trapeze became the go-to swing club overnight.  

One of the two owners of this popular establishment is “Big Alan”.  His name comes in contrast to one of the long time managers, “Little Allen.”  Many people who frequent Trapeze in Florida, mistakenly believe Little Allen to be the owner due to his high visibility.  Big Alan, on the other hand, prefers to run his club without being directly involved with the customers. The other owner runs the Atlanta club in much the same way. This might be one of the factors that contribute to their huge success. 

Trapeze has two clubs:  one located in South Florida, the other is in Atlanta, Georgia.  The club we will discuss today is the club located in Florida.  

Trapeze is a 10,000 square foot club located in Tamarac, Florida.  Tamarac is a part of Fort Lauderdale and is easy to get to via I 95 and the Florida Turnpike.  As you pull into the parking lot and approach the entrance to the club, you know simply by the line up of exotic cars, that you have found the club.

Friendly faces working behind the counter are eager to greet customers as they enter the club.  They help with sign-in and answer questions regarding how the club works. For those who are new to the club, there is a  hostess available to give a tour.   Everyone who enters must take out a membership and this includes showing your driver’s license.  It is comforting in this day and age to know there are no strangers amongst us. 

Trapeze is a BYOB club.  Each bottle gets a number and each customer gets a wrist band with the matching number for the bartenders to check.  Additionally, the wrist bands for couples and single men differ in color.  This allows customers to recognize a single man from the onset and also aids the bouncers in directing them to the single side (only) in the play area.

One of the most notable differences about this club is the sense of warmth you get when you enter.  The decor is warm and inviting, and It seems one of the main objectives behind the style of this club is comfort.  With deep seating leather couches and high top stools surrounding the dance floor, finding a seat is rarely a concern.  Couples sitting on the couches are always happy to let one or two more squeeze in.  That is, after all, why people are here.

When entering a club like Trapeze, it is easy to understand why people leave their inhibitions at the door.  The atmosphere is liberating and easy.  People are smiling, friendly and carefree as they move about greeting both the staff and each other.  Over the years, Trapeze has become a kind of “Cheers” for the regulars yet regulars are always excited to meet and embrace new couples as well.

The crowd encompasses a vast range of styles and ages.  The different styles are evident at first glance:  provocative, demure, sophisticated, casual and on occasion,  just plain naked.  You will see everything from school girl costumes, fetish attire, lingerie, and even an occasional long dress or suit.  Although there are couples as young as 20-year-olds, the majority of people are in their mid-30s to around 65.  

There are two large bars in the front of the club and one in the back room.   The bars are staffed with friendly bartenders who are quick to deliver drinks.   High backed leather bar stools surround both bars as well as the high tops in close proximity.  There is a dining room which adds a particularly nice touch to this club.  It encourages couples to sit together and this makes it easy to meet and mingle with others early in the night and then again at breakfast.

One of the things that set this club apart is its food.  They offer a full, high-quality hot buffet meal for both dinner and breakfast.  There are many different items to choose from including your choice of 3 entrees including one from the cutting board.  There are side dishes to choose from, a full salad bar, bread, desserts, coffee, etc.  One thing I can attest to about the food is that it is delicious.  It is cooked on premise by a chef who has been with the club for many years.  Breakfast is so popular that the line can get very long but does move quickly.  It is well worth the wait!  You have many choices, including an omelet station.  

Trapeze has a very large dance floor and a DJ who sits high above, watching the customers.  Both DJs take requests and work hard to keep as many customers happy as possible.  Playing music that appeals to so many different types of people and ages can be very tricky.  That being said, it is very rare to see the dance floor slow down. 

Trapeze is open Wednesday night through Sunday night.  Most nights, the club sees about 200- 250 people.  Single men are allowed every night except Saturday.  Single females are welcome on any night.  Saturday nights are always very busy and usually have between 250 and 350 people.  Special holidays and event nights can see crowds as large as 600 or more.

Trapeze is truly an international club.  On any night, you can meet people from many places around the world.  It is not uncommon to hear people speaking a variety of languages. We have met people who actually bought second homes in South Florida so that they could come to the club on a more regular basis.  It also has a consistent group of local patrons who can be found in the club for up to 3 or 4 nights per week.

The crowd is friendly and eager to party on any night at Trapeze.  I have heard many people describe how each night at Trapeze like New Year’s Eve.  People are there to party and have a good time.  The way the club is designed makes it easy to meet other people.  From the many leather couches to the stools surrounding the dance floor everyone can find a place to sit and mingle.  

People go to swing clubs to meet other people and Trapeze is no exception.  If you are looking to meet other swingers, this is the place to be.  With so many people to choose from, you are bound to make a connection.

The entrance fee covers all costs for the entire evening.   Although tipping is encouraged, the entrance fee includes the food, a locker, and towels for the back room.

Later in the evening, the crowd generally finds its way to the back room.  Customers are each assigned a locker and given a towel so they may enter.  Upon entering the back room, the single men are required to stay on the left side while couples can choose either side.  The back room is lined with long couches and many connected mattresses for couples to play.   For those who prefer privacy, there are hidden corners and private rooms.

The back room is always bustling with couples and singles looking to play.  Security is always on hand in the back to make sure there are no issues.  There is a full-service bar complete with a bartender for those who wish to continue drinking while in the play area.

The area itself is quite large yet the atmosphere is playful and sensuous.  Couples casually talk or play while seated on plush couches or laying on vinyl mattresses.  Large screen TVs show erotic movies and the low lighting helps the mood.  There is a bar in the backroom and some couples prefer to mingle around the bar.

The club is clean and well-staffed.  The customers are courteous and friendly.  It’s no wonder this club has the reputation that it has.  There is nothing missing from this swing club and if you are looking to meet others in the lifestyle, this is the place to be!  For the price, you certainly get something in return!  Between dinner, dancing, socializing, a place to play in the back, shower and then have breakfast, it’s the best deal in town!

Looking for lifestyle jewelry so you can find other swingers around town?  Check out our line of jewelry here.  Partners ID is the only lifestyle jewelry recognized around the world.

For a closer look inside Trapeze, check out Tom and Bunny’s visit here:

Ecstasy party PART 2; it was just as hilarious the second time.

Ecstasy fueled party goers.

So the first ecstasy party was a flop.  Nobody enjoyed the experience, yet everyone was willing to come back and try again.  This time we decided to invite another couple and one couple asked to bring a couple as well.  The couple that we invited, were planning to take the ecstasy with us.  The other couple, for some reason, was not included in this plan and were not told we would all be high. 

Again, all of the couples were instructed to arrive promptly so we could take it at the same time.  We again followed the advice about what and when to eat prior to taking the pill. 

 Our friend unfolded his napkin and cut the pink hearts into pieces.  After my first experience, I asked for a smaller piece hoping the effect would be lessened.  

One couple was running late so we decided not to wait for them.  All of the other couples who had planned to take it were at our house, the one who did not know about it had not yet arrived.

We each took our portion and went outside to wait for the others to arrive.  The couple who was planning to take it, arrived about an hour later, a short time after it had started to hit us all.  They were met in the kitchen by the man with the pills and they each took a half.  

The woman went outside to greet me and when she discovered I was not outside, it didn’t take her long to find me.  There I was, standing by the restroom door, staring up at the light.  Lying on the floor next to me was my friend who was looking for the draft from under the door.  She thought it was hilarious but my friend and I agreed that we already regretted the decision to do this again.

We all went outside and a short time later I heard the doorbell ring.  I opened it and was greeted by the couple that had been invited by my friend.  They held up a bag and followed me into the kitchen.  The man reached in and pulled out a shrimp platter and a bag of uncooked rice.  He started asking me where he could find different utensils in the kitchen.  I was so high at this point that I couldn’t cope so I turned around and walked away.  Luckily, one woman (Snow White), did not take ecstasy this time and stepped in to help him.  

Reflecting back on this moment the next day, I conceded that I was not getting the hostess of the year award.  I literally turned my back on one friend in the hot tub at the first party and this time I walked away while this guest was asking for something.  Ecstasy does not make me friendly or warm…

The party once again found its way into the hot tub.  (Yes, we have since learned that dancing and staying active would have yielded a different result.)  The friend who had arrived later started to feel the effects and was lying across everyone while we sat in the hot tub.  Not for a sexual reason but simply because she thought there was plenty of room (which, as you can see from the picture, is not entirely accurate).

The mood was relaxed, everyone was naked and thankfully, Snow White was not high, but rather nursing a drink.  The woman who took ecstasy but did not attend the first party started to get frisky.  She was asking to suck everyone’s toes and was moving from lap to lap giving everyone a kiss.  For me, the effect was the same and as soon as she started bugging me to let her suck my toes I had to leave for the restroom.  

Somehow getting sick seems to make the effect of the ecstasy easier for me to handle.  Even though I took a smaller piece, it was still way too intense.   Just like the first time, this took the edge off and I felt ok.  

As I passed the family room on my way back outside, Snow White and the new man (who also did not take anything) were getting busy on the sofa.  Finally, there were people playing at our swinger party!

Outside, I noticed this man’s wife was sitting quietly with Snow White’s husband away from the group.  I could smell that they were smoking weed while deep in conversation.  

I slipped back into the hot tub, drink in hand, to catch up with what had been happening.  Everyone was still chatting but they were getting warmer and there was some kissing and touching between couples.  Soon the friend who thought our hot tub had ample room to lie across and her husband left for inside.  With more room for everyone, we tried once again to see how well ecstasy works for playtime.

Unfortunately, the answer is it did not work at all.  Now there were 5 men and it did not work for any of them.  The newcomer was shocked and said this was not typical for him at all.  We all laughed because we had heard this before.  

Eventually, we gave up the dream of sex and moved the party across the porch for some birthday cake.  It was a large sheet cake with a naked 3-D woman with very large breasts.  We sang happy birthday and everyone gathered around to eat some cake.  The woman who had been smoking pot leaned over the cake and took an entire buttercream boob into her mouth.  Seeing this made me feel nauseous all over again and I went into the house to cool off and see some light (has a very calming effect for some reason).  

On my way back outside, I was passing through our sliding glass doors.  When one side is open, the other side is housing that piece of glass so it is closed.  As I walked over the threshold I noticed the girl who was smoking pot walking into the house on the other side of the door.  Before I could react, she walked face-first into the glass.  She literally fell backward and I could see the blood on her face as she fell.  It was so shocking and as I looked behind her, everyone was gasping and laughing simultaneously.  It was not funny but don’t forget we were all wasted!  

Thankfully she was ok.  

The rest of the night passed without any more problems (thankfully).  

My take away from these two parties is the danger we put ourselves in when taking drugs.  During both parties, we had to deal with either illness or injury.  Luckily neither was serious enough to require outside help but I’m not sure we were capable of making good decisions either time.   What if our children had called and needed our assistance?  Neither of us was in any condition to help.  

Neither of us regrets our decision to try ecstasy but neither of us has any interest in taking it again.  Alcohol is at least predictable and controllable as long as we drink in moderation.

As Monogamish Marriage said in her reply to our story, “Wow! This is an ecstasy-driven comedy of errors! Hilarious to read now, but probably not so funny at the time.”  That sums it up!

If you did not read part 1 you can find it here:

To read Monogamish Marriages’ experience with MDMA, click here: 

Looking for other swingers? Find it here: 

Our hilarious experience taking ecstasy; part one of two…

 Ecstasy fueled party goers.

After reading about Monogamish Marriage’s* experience with MDMA, I thought I would write about our experience with Ecstasy.  

A few years ago we invited a friend for lunch on a Sunday afternoon.  As soon as he arrived, he took off his baseball cap and put his hand deep into the front pocket of his jeans.  He pulled out a white tissue which had been carefully folded.  Delicately placing the curious tissue on our countertop, he slowly unfolded and yelled, “Look what I have!”  My husband and I took a step forward to peer into the now open tissue.  

There inside the fold of the napkin lay 3 little pink heart-shaped pills.  I have to be honest, I had no idea what I was looking at, neither did my husband.  “Ecstasy,” he cried, “we are all going to take it this afternoon, it will be a blast.”

Shaking my head I turned away from the counter and told him no way, not interested.  My husband agreed that this was not his thing.  I will say that when I was in high school and college, I would have grabbed one and taken it without asking any questions.  For me, those days ended when I graduated from college.  For my husband, those days never existed and he never experimented with drugs at all.  

After desperately trying to persuade us to try this, our friend gave up.   The disappointment on his face was obvious.  He spent the entire afternoon extolling the virtues of taking ecstasy and how amazing sex is for everyone when they are high.  He even went as far as to tell my husband that his erection would be like never before.  

After he left, my husband seemed to take up his cause.  It doesn’t take a whole lot to persuade me to do things, and so I conceded. We decided it would be fun to have a small party and all the guests would take one half of a pill.

Soon the party was planned and we would be four couples.  Everyone was excited and arrived promptly so that we could all take a pill at the same time.  We were given our dietary instructions from the friend who had brought the pills and he was in charge of handing out the half pink hearts as each guest arrived.  We all swallowed our pills at the same time and went outside to listen to music.  Although he encouraged us not to drink alcohol, one couple did drink champagne.  

Almost exactly one hour later, I began to feel the effects.  It hit me so hard and fast that I was unable to speak.  I sat watching as the others seemed to notice that it was working.  The man who had been drinking suddenly felt very ill.  He started to sweat and felt palpitations in his heart.  As some of the others scrambled to help him, I literally could not move.  One of the men suggested that perhaps they should throw him into the pool to cool him off.  Sadly, I was the only one with any medical background and I couldn’t do anything but sit and pray that they didn’t do that because I was afraid the consequences could be deadly.  

Luckily, the initial reaction for this friend soon passed and he seemed to feel ok. One woman claimed she felt nothing and quickly took another half to “catch up”.  

We soon moved the party into the hot tub where we imagined all of the fun would begin.  The water was warm and everyone got comfortable.  The woman sitting next to me tapped me on the shoulder and in a baby voice said, “I’m Snow White and you are Cinderella!”  I literally couldn’t deal with such a nonsensical conversation and simply turned my back to her.  She continued to say this over and over to me until I started to feel sick. 

I made my way to the restroom and threw up.  Walking out of the restroom one of my friends was lying on the floor in front of a closed bedroom door.  She told me she was so hot she couldn’t stand it and could feel the breeze coming from underneath the door.  For me, I felt better when I looked into the light, so I stood staring up into the light from above.  Another friend found us and brought us back into the hot tub.

After getting sick, I felt much more in control.  I had a small drink and the feeling was now very nice.  (I was told liquor kills the effect of ecstasy and this was intentional).  The men were anxious to test out how sex would feel while high.  Unfortunately, 4 out of 4 men could not get any erection at all, which I found to be hilarious.  It did not matter what they tried, nothing worked.  As for the women, they said they felt no heightened interest in sex from taking the ecstasy, myself included.

The night ended as soon as everyone felt back to normal.  Only the woman who took the other half reported feeling high well into the next day.  Our friend who provided the pills was disappointed and said it must have been that batch because the reaction was not normal.

We did try it one more time at our next party.  I will write about that soon…

*You can find Monogamish Marriage’s experience here:

Looking to find other swingers?  Why not wear lifestyle jewelry, it takes the guess work out!  Find it here:

Women in the lifestyle, what do they gain from swinging?

Couple in lifestyle wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

What brings women into the lifestyle?

For women who are not in the lifestyle, it is common for them to believe that women are not really in the lifestyle on their own accord.  Most vanilla women tend to think women are being pushed into this by their partners.  This wild life of sex can only be something that appeals to men.

Is this true?  Are women only in the lifestyle to make their significant others happy?  The best way to find out what is fact and what is fiction is to see for one’s self.

While the swinging lifestyle conjures up images of orgies and gang bangs, it really is so much more than that.  It is a lifestyle of friendship and acceptance.  It is a wold of open minded adults coming together for a common good.

What do women gain from the lifestyle? 

The first thing that comes to mind is confidence.  The lifestyle is not only about you and your partner as a couple, it is also about you as an individual.

Let’s be honest, it is not easy growing up female.  Most women would agree that we are held to a much higher standard than men.  First, we are expected to be perfect.  Not only the way that we look and dress but the way that we act.  This is something that begins when we are very young.  Unfortunately the standards don’t really change as we age.  

To begin with, young girls are constantly seeing images of  beautiful women in magazines and on tv.  These ideals are things that girls grow up believing to be of utmost importance.  If having a perfect  body, hair, makeup and clothing is not a must, why are those predominantly the images we see.  

Women have been calling for change for at least the past several decades and although we have made many strides, we are still falling short.  

If you google “Top Female Celebrities 2018” you will see what I’m referring to.  The first 15 names to appear on that list:

Jennifer Lawrence

Scarlett Johansson

Selena Gomez

Natalie Portman

Mila Kunis

Emma Watson

Emma Stone

Ariana Grande

Nina Dobrev

Megan Fox

Blake Lively



Charlize Theron

Jessica Alba

There were still two more women before I even got to Angelina Jolie.  Imagine, this is the list and I did not even query attractive or hot in my search.  Imagine if I had…

So here are the top female celebrities from 2018. These are the faces and bodies that little girls are growing up comparing themselves to.  It is easy to see why women are so critical of their own looks. 

The other standard that only seems to apply to women is with regard to sex.  When men sleep around they are studs, when women do it they are whores.  Why the double standard?

 Enter the lifestyle…

Before entering the lifestyle, I imagined every woman would be a perfect 10.  The thought of competing with such beautiful women for the attention of men seemed daunting.  It was reminiscent of high school and made me very nervous.  

Our first night to a swing club proved me wrong.  The variety of women that were in the club was a huge surprise.  Some old, some young, some thin, some over weight, some tall, some short, etc.  Many women were wearing sexy dresses, many wore jeans and sandals.   There was definitely no predominant “type” of woman.

It did not take long to discover that women in the club were sexy for a whole different reason than the size of their body parts.  I also discovered that women in the lifestyle were applauded and held in high regard for their sexuality.  Suddenly, the double standard was gone.  Women who had spent their lives hiding their desire to explore sex and their sexuality were applauded.

The lifestyle empowers women.  It allows them the freedom of expression in every way possible. No more judgment about either their size or their sexual appetite.  

The lifestyle proves to women that regardless of their appearance, others will find them attractive.  Some people like bigger women, some like smaller, just like women all have different ideas of what makes a man or another woman attractive.

Women have a lot of power in the lifestyle and it spills into their real lives as well.  The lifestyle gives a voice to women.  Women soon discover that they are not there to please their partners but rather to please themselves.  The lifestyle teaches women to love their bodies.  Many lifestyle venues are a mixture of nudists and swingers, both who seem confident in their naked bodies.  This is a beautiful thing.

The bottom line?  What women gain from swinging is more than just fabulous sex.  It allows them the freedom to be who they are and to feel good about it.  

Check out our lifestyle jewelry! Makes it easy to spot and meet other swingers!  

When a couple in the lifestyle finds you!

Partners ID Necklace telling others your are in the lifestyle

Hi, Partners ID we have a story that we hope you will want to share with your readers. It happened over the winter holidays when my husband and I took a trip to the Cayman Islands.  

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years.  While lifestyle events are our favorite way to spend a weekend, we do not usually seek it out when we travel.  The thought of 7 or 8 days on a boat with lifestyle folk or even a resort does not really appeal to us.  An evening with another sexy couple is perfect for us, it’s just how we roll.

Before our children were out of school for winter break, we decided to book a quick getaway.  We love to snorkel so when we travel south, we like to try to work this into our plans.  Having heard that the Cayman Islands has some nice snorkeling opportunities, we decided to give it a try.  

The resort was beautiful and the weather was perfect.  We always wear our lifestyle jewelry and so naturally we traveled with our necklaces.  On our second day, we woke up early to catch the bus that was taking us on the snorkeling excursion.  There was a couple that we were drawn to but obviously we had no clue if they were being friendly or if they were in the lifestyle.  They had no reaction to our jewelry so we kept it vanilla.  

When we took the actual dive, we left our jewelry in our shoes to make sure they wouldn’t slip off while diving.  When we returned to the boat, one of the other guests on the excursion was holding  my necklace.  As we approached, he apologized for touching it but wanted to take a closer look at the design.  My husband and I looked at each other both wondering the same thing.  Did he know?  

Turns out he did!  His wife was still diving so we waited for her to return to the boat.  They both have pieces of your jewelry as well, they just did not bring them on the boat.  We did spend a rather enjoyable evening with our new friends!  They are also avid snorkelers and we have planned a trip  with them in June!  We booked adjoining rooms so that should be a blast!  

I just want to point out that this is exactly why we purchased this jewelry.  We were hoping that somewhere along the way we would make friends simply because they understood we are in the lifestyle too.  As for the first couple, I doubt they are swingers, they were simply being friendly.  What I love is that this allows us to meet each other without playing the game of are they or aren’t they.  We enjoyed a nice dinner with the couple we were unsure about but did not do anything that would make them feel uncomfortable.  No silly remarks about sex or being vanilla, we simply enjoyed them as ordinary friends.  Often, if we did play this game it would end badly with another couple thinking we were odd, or creepy.  This allows us to know without having to guess.

Thank you for making things easier for us! 


Lauren and Peter

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Why your attitude and demeanor are crucial to your success in a swing club.


couple in swing club wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry


By now, for those who read my blogs, you know my husband and I spend a good amount of time in swing clubs.  This weekend was no different and we proudly made it out all 3 nights!  

It is in the swing club that I often find topics of interest.  This weekend we were talking about people’s demeanors and how this can affect their success in the lifestyle.  We observed an attractive woman talking with her husband at the bar.  She was smiling and seemed approachable but her husband looked angry and annoyed.  

Soon after first noticing them, they were passing by to walk to the dance floor and she stopped and said hello to us.  Her husband, still with a sour look on his face, stopped beside her.  We introduced ourselves and waited for them to do the same.  She kissed us hello and told us both of their names.  He simply nodded his head.  When we spoke to him he was cordial but never once smiled.   As they walked away we tried to imagine what kind of success they would have in a swing club.  

This man looked so unapproachable, it is hard to imagine that anyone would choose to engage in conversation with them.  We spotted them from time to time and his demeanor never changed.  Even on the dance floor, he looked miserable.  It is possible that he did not want to come to a swing club and was doing it for his wife.  If this was the case, I would understand.  Clearly, however, this man did not have to worry about other couples wanting to get close to them.

Oddly, when the couple was passing us to go back to their seats at the bar, she stopped to speak with my husband.  I smiled at her husband and he simply pretended to be interested in whatever was on the tv screen.  I laughed to myself because this woman was truly wasting her time.  At this point, even if this man suddenly wanted to play with me, I had zero interest.  

Swingers, in general, are warm and friendly people.  While there are exceptions to every rule, most people that we meet in swing clubs, are there to meet others.  For this reason, if someone conveys negativity, their chances of hooking up with others is very low.

I couldn’t help but wonder if she realized how he came across to other people.  Our assumption was that she brought him to the club and clearly, he did not appreciate being there.   We lost track of them but I imagine their night ended early.

This is not the first person in a swing club that I have observed with a chip on their shoulder. It continues to confuse me as to why people waste their time and money doing something they are clearly not interested in doing.  To please their partner?  Maybe, but obviously this generally backfires.  

Swinging is something that couples must approach together.  If a couple is not on the same page, this is the result.  Coming into a lifestyle situation with a closed mind is not going to yield a positive outcome, regardless of how much one person wants it to work.  

I considered that maybe this is simply the man’s disposition.  It is possible, however,  that he is one of those people whose resting facial expression leads people astray.  His wife did mention he is foreign, perhaps his country of origin does not expect people to smile and be up all the time.  Maybe he had a bad day at work or some other personal problem.  

Any of these things are possible and it was for that reason that when they stopped to talk, we made an effort to be warm to them both.  Not because we wanted to play with them, but simply to be nice and put him at ease.  This is where he fell short.  He had an opportunity to be friendly and he chose to be cold.

Much like when someone has bad breath and we wonder why their significant other doesn’t tell them, we questioned if she said something to him.  If the problem is that he is shy, his wife needs to help him engage when the opportunity presents itself.  If he is simply unfriendly, maybe they need to rethink the whole swing club idea.

Whatever the case, the bottom line is that a positive attitude and demeanor are important if you want to have success in a swing club.  There are too many friendly faces for people to waste their time trying to warm up someone who is just plain cold.


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You’ll never guess who I watched having sex the other night; well, sort of…

Doppelganger having sex with swinger

They say we all have a twin somewhere out there; some use the phrase doppelgänger.   Last night in a swing club, I saw a man who could clearly be a famous man’s doppelgänger.  To see a doppelgänger that looks like George Clooney or Brad Pitt in a swing club would be awesome.  Unfortunately, this was neither.  This man could be Bernie Sanders’ identical twin.  No offense to Bernie, but this is not my dream man to see when I open my eyes because a stranger is touching me.  Nope, not even close…

There is no question, seeing someone who closely resembles a famous person can be exciting. For people who like to fantasize about having sex with someone famous, this can be a pretty close second.  Unfortunately, I’m not convinced that many women are fantasizing about Bernie Sanders.    It has nothing to do with his politics or even his likability, this is purely physical.  As I watched “Bernie” play with his wife, and then with another woman, I couldn’t help but imagine what he was saying to the woman he was on top of.  With his thick New York accent, I imagined him explaining why condoms for all, for free, was a wonderful idea. As a matter of fact, I’m still imagining his conversations:  he loves everything about the lifestyle!  Sharing is what it’s all about!  We all win when we share!

It got me to wondering what it might be like to see other doppelgängers in a swing club.  Surely, if you look that much like someone else, you are aware.  Either because you can see it for yourself, or because others frequently point it out to you.  I tried to imagine how a Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie or Blake Lively look alike might behave in a swing club.  

People who frequent swing clubs have little tolerance for arrogance.  The atmosphere is fun and friendly, and as we have discussed before, people who think they are too attractive for others, are not very successful in the lifestyle.  If, on the other hand, a friendly, hot, famous looking doppelgänger were to meander into a swing club, I imagine they would be quite popular.

This leads me to wonder about the next scenario.  What if your significant other’s twin showed up?  They clarify that they are not related.  Interested?  Maybe interested in playing with the two of them at the same time?  Now we’re talking…

What if your own doppelgänger appeared in a club one night.  How would you feel if your significant other was into her?  Happy that you are obviously his type?  Annoyed by the comparison?  Interested in playing as a threesome with her?

The Bernie Sanders’ doppelgänger is not the first person that I have seen in a swing club who genuinely looks like another famous person.  A few years ago I saw Kelly Conway and once, I saw my own sister.  When I approached her because the resemblance was uncanny, I think she thought I was trying to hit on her.  Probably the first time in my life I felt like a man.  No matter how hard I tried to explain, and even offered to show her a photo, she seemed creeped out.  It still makes me laugh.

Maybe one day I will get to experience the fantasy of having sex with a famous man (or woman) who turns me on.  Like I tell my husband, the more time we spend in the lifestyle, the better the odds.  For now, I have Bernie Sanders on the brain.  It’s hard to shake the image of him having sex in front of me.

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A unicorn, a tatto and an unexpected swinger encounter in Atlanta, Ga.

Partners ID Swinger Symbol Tattoo

Dear Partners ID,

I will speak for myself when I say that I love to read your letters from swingers who have found each other because they spotted your jewelry.

My story is a little bit different. I do have several pieces of your jewelry, which I love but it was your tattoo that inspired me. You might remember that I had contacted you asking for permission to use your logo for a permanent tattoo. I did have it done and just like the jewelry, it attracts attention.

The tattoo is located on the inside of my wrist so it is discreet but visible. The interesting thing about this tattoo is how it alerts people in the lifestyle that I am definitely a player. When they see it, they know what it means. Nobody has a permanent tattoo if they are not a genuine swinger!

The part about meeting another (very unexpected swinger) starts now. I had taken a bad fall and injured my wrist. My dad suggested I make an appointment to see his long time friend who is an orthopedic surgeon. After sending me for X-rays they determined that it was indeed fractured.

I met the doctor for a consultation. He suggested placing it in a cast for 6-8 weeks. When he examined my wrist he stopped when he spotted my tattoo. I could see him looking carefully at the design and came right out and asked me what it meant. Talk about awkward! The explanation I gave was for nothing as he told me he knew the sign well; he too is in the lifestyle!

We did not make plans to meet up or anything of that nature. After all, he is my dad’s friend! This is a man who I have known since I was a young kid and never would have suspected he is in the lifestyle. We agreed that it should be our little secret but he did love my tattoo!

Although we will not see each other as swinger friends, he did fix me up with someone else who is in the lifestyle. We have been out a few times and we will see where that goes!

Love your concept, love the design and love the jewelry. I hope this story makes you smile and who knows, maybe I’ll be the second swinger bride!

Big hugs,

Atlanta, Ga

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