How Partners ID new bumper sticker made my day!

Handsome man wearing Partners ID swinger symbol lifestyle jewelry

 

Hey Partners ID!

I just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know that I recently met a beautiful woman because of your bumper sticker.  

My job as an insurance adjuster means I spend a lot of time driving around  Colorado inspecting homes.  The nice thing about my job is that I have met some pretty decent people along the way.  Spending time on the road has its positives.  It allows me time to listen to hot podcasts!

On my schedule last week was a run out to Broomfield, which is a town not far from Golden.  The inspection went smoothly and I left the home.  I walked back to my car.   While I was backing out of the driveway, a woman was standing across the street in front of her mailbox watching me.  When I got onto the street, she motioned for me to open my window.  

The only thing I could think of was that she thought I was someone else.  So I opened the window and she introduced herself.  She asked if I was a friend of her neighbor.  I explained that I was working and that I did not know the people.    Her demeanor changed slightly and she smiled and twirled the end of her hair.   Leaning close to my car she said,  “I see you have a bumper sticker on your car that says you like to have fun.  If you are free right now, so am I.  What do you say?”

It did not take long to pull the car to the curb and hop out.  She giggled and grabbed my hand to lead me inside.  She told me her name is Tuni and that although her husband would be disappointed to miss the show, he was at work.

And so, we spent the next few hours having hot sex all over her house!  What is more, she face-timed with her husband who seemed turned on by the whole situation.  In all honesty, never would I have imagined something like this!  Needless to say, I love your bumper sticker!   With this in mind, had I thought it would be this easy to meet someone,  I would have started wearing your jewelry long ago!

Thank you for this, I will remember that afternoon for the rest of my life.  If I’m really lucky, it will happen again!

A very big fan,

Robert H.

Lakewood, Co.

A couple reveals that they have been exposed.

Lifestyle couple wearing siwinger jewelry

Well, it finally happened.  We were outed about being in the lifestyle.  

That’s right, after 8 years of sneaking around trying to be discreet, our secret is out.  Although we thought we did everything right, apparently someone figured out that we are swingers, and spilled the beans.  

Are you sure people know you are swingers?

Yes, someone confronted us and told us they knew.  Word gets around quickly when the gossip is this juicy.  We live in a rather densely populated city yet it is a small community.   An everyone knows everyone’s kind of place.

Why do you say, “It finally happened?”  

I think most people in the lifestyle are afraid that one day people will find out.  Obviously this is not something we wanted, but now we have to deal with the repercussions.  

Who told you?

When we were confronted with the news, it was over drinks at a friend’s home.  We were surprised when they invited us to their home, as we normally go out for drinks.   These are people who we see at least once a week for drinks, dinner or, brunch.  They had become suspicious of us when we became too busy to meet them on weekends.  We were scheduling time with them primarily during the week and they found that odd.  

Although they did not try to investigate, when they heard the rumors they immediately believed it was a possibility.  Seeing the photos from our online dating site sealed the deal.   

Do you mean the photos are not secure?

We assume the couple who discovered us was also on the site and saw our photos.  I guess they took screenshots and showed them to other people.  It is so disappointing that anyone would do that, but they did.  Clearly these are people who do not like us.

How did you react to the news?

When we were confronted, we were in shock.  At first, we tried to deny it but it was clear that people had seen the photos.  Our friends wanted to know why we would do this.  When the shock wore off, I asked them what that meant.  Why would we do what?  Explore a lifestyle that seemed of interest to us both?  Spend nights and weekends at parties enjoying new friends?  Opening up our minds to something different?  Trying something new together?

How did your friends react to your explanation?

The man was curious and asked a lot of questions while his wife was disgusted and angry.  She implied that it was my (the man’s) way of cheating on my wife.  Although my wife explained that we were doing this as a couple and decided together, our female friend was not buying it.  Of course, the photos did not help our case.  The majority were taken of my wife; some with other women and all in erotic poses.  

What is your take on your friends’ reactions?

My wife believes the woman felt threatened.  That somehow my wife feeling ok about exploring her sexuality and sexual prowess with me made her husband envious.  The husband seemed to find the whole thing interesting and enticing.  He was clearly looking at my wife with renewed interest.  He seemed to see her in a new light and his wife did not appreciate that.

How do you see your friendship with this couple in the future?

I can see the man reaching out to me on his own but as couples, we won’t see them again.  The woman is clearly not comfortable with what we are doing and prefers to cut ties with us.  Somehow I think she believes either others will find her guilty by association or is afraid of her husband will show interest in joining us.  

What about the rest of the people who now know that you are in the lifestyle?

I think had this happened a few years ago when we were new to the lifestyle we would have been much more upset.  Over the years we have made many friends who have become almost like family to us.  We have also grown to accept who we are and the fact that others might not understand our lifestyle choices.  Honestly, it is ok.  Although we had not planned to tell our families, we decided it was time.  No one seemed terribly surprised.  Thankfully our children are grown with families of their own. 

What is your takeaway from what has happened?

I am in no way surprised to find people judging us for what we do.  Most people in the lifestyle realize that vanilla people don’t accept swingers and do not want to be associated with them.  We will continue to hold our heads high and see what the future holds.  As an independent contractor, it is a possibility that it will impact my business.  For my wife, it is also a possibility that she could end up losing her job if they discover the truth.  It makes us both sad to see how afraid people are of what they don’t understand.  Worst case scenario?  We relocate and start fresh.

Thank you so much for your time and we wish you all the best in the future.  We are also sorry that you have to experience this.  

Looking to find others in the lifestyle?  Wearing our swinger symbol jewelry can help with that! Shop here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Why is it a secret that you are in the lifestyle? https://www.swingersjewelry.net/secret-lifestyle/

Besides Great Sex, What Do Women Gain From Swinging?

Couple in lifestyle wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

What brings women into the lifestyle?

For women who are not in the lifestyle, it is common for them to believe that women are not really in the lifestyle of their own accord.  Most vanilla women tend to think women are being pushed into this by their partners.  This wild life of sex can only be something that appeals to men.

Is this true?  Are women only in the lifestyle to make their significant others happy?  The best way to find out what is fact and what is fiction is to see for one’s self.

While the swinging lifestyle conjures up images of orgies and gang bangs, it really is so much more than that.  It is a lifestyle of friendship and acceptance.  It is a world of open-minded adults coming together for a common good.

What do women gain from the lifestyle? 

The first thing that comes to mind is confidence.  The lifestyle is not only about you and your partner as a couple, it is also about you as an individual.

Let’s be honest, it is not easy growing up female.  Most women would agree that we are held to a much higher standard than men.  First, we are expected to be perfect.  Not only the way that we look and dress but the way that we act.  This is something that begins when we are very young.  Unfortunately, the standards don’t really change as we age.  

To begin with, young girls are constantly seeing images of  beautiful women in magazines and on tv.  These ideals are things that girls grow up believing to be of utmost importance.  If having a perfect  body, hair, makeup, and clothing is not a must, why are those predominantly the images we see?  

Women have been calling for change for at least the past several decades and although we have made many strides, we are still falling short.  

In fact, if you google “50 most famous women in the world 2020” you will see what I’m referring to.  The first 20 names to appear on that list:

  • Rhianna
  • Beyonce
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Britney Spears
  • Michelle Obama
  • Taylor Swift
  • Paris Hilton
  • Madonna
  • Miley Cyrus
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Katy Perry
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Mariah Carey
  • Jennifer Lopez
  • Marilyn Monroe
  • Jessica Alba
  • Fergie
  • Scarlett Johnson

Actually, I was happy to see at least Oprah, Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama made the list.  Not to mention, this is the list and I did not even query attractive or hot in my search.  Imagine if I had…

So here are the most famous women from 2020. These are the faces and bodies that little girls are growing up comparing themselves to.  It is easy to see why women are so critical of their own looks. 

*Before googling this list, I researched to know which word constitutes the most visible:  accomplished, prominent, well-known, influential, famous, or celebrity.  While the other lists had more women who were known for their great accomplishments and achievements, they are not women who are as visible or easily recognizable as celebrities.

The other standard that only seems to apply to women is with regard to sex.  When men sleep around they are studs, when women do it they are whores.  Why the double standard?

 Enter the lifestyle…

Initially, before entering the lifestyle, I imagined every woman would be a perfect 10.  The thought of competing with such beautiful women for the attention of men seemed daunting.  It was reminiscent of high school and made me very nervous.  

However, our first night at a swing club proved me wrong.  The variety of women that were in the club was a huge surprise.  Some old, some young, some thin, some over-weight, some tall, some short, etc.  Although many women were wearing sexy dresses, many wore jeans and sandals.  Finally, contrary to what I had imagined, there was definitely no predominant “type” of woman.

Anyhow, It did not take long to discover that women in the club were sexy for a whole different reason than the size of their body parts.  I also discovered that women in the lifestyle were applauded and held in high regard for their sexuality.  Suddenly, the double standard was gone.  In all honesty, what I noticed, was that women who had spent their lives hiding their desire to explore sex and their sexuality were applauded.

The lifestyle empowers women.  It allows them the freedom of expression in every way possible. In fact, no more judgment about either their size or their sexual appetite.  

The lifestyle proves to women that regardless of their appearance, others will find them attractive.   While some people like bigger women, some like smaller.  Additionally, just like women, men all have different ideas of what makes a man or another woman attractive.

Women have a lot of power in the lifestyle and it spills into their real lives as well.  As a result, the lifestyle gives a voice to women.  Women soon discover that they are not there to please their partners but rather to please themselves.  More importantly, the lifestyle teaches women to love their bodies.  Although many lifestyle venues are a mixture of nudists and swingers, both of who seem confident in their naked bodies.  This is a beautiful thing.

Then, what is the bottom line?  What women gain from swinging is more than just fabulous sex.  It allows them the freedom to be who they are and to feel good about it.  

Check out our lifestyle jewelry! Makes it easy to spot and meet other swingers! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/  

*https://autobiography.tech/50-most-famous-womens-in-the-world/

Rejection in the lifestyle; what’s the best way to say thanks but no thanks?


Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Rejection is never pretty. 

Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly.  It is hurtful and often feels personal.  

For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point,  either as the rejector or the rejectee.  First of all, this is normal.  Everyone will not like everyone else, but figuring out how to let them know is never easy.

Swinging is a lot like dating.  

At times we have an attraction to someone and that attraction is not returned.  We want someone to like us but they do not.  When we are talking about dating, it is fairly straightforward.  One person must like one person.  In swinging, this is much more complicated.

Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples is much more difficult.   

Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie,  Airtight, SLS, Quiver, etc., to find other swingers.  They scan their pictures and read profiles in the hopes of finding like minded and attractive couples to meet.  

The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest.  The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos.  If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile.  

If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email.  

What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest?  

Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it.  Obviously you will realize they are not interested right?

This way of handling an email of no interest is called “ghosting”.   Some couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest.  Other couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. 

How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings?

Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings?  It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain.  Often times couples say they simply reply:  “We are not a match.”  Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align.   This truly is the kindest possible response.  No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know.

Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest

Honesty is the best policy, right?  Here I have to disagree.  There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender.  No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic.  There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful.

If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out.   Although you have a good reason to reject them, there are ways to say things without being mean.

What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person?

Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard.  What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest?  If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away.  You make an excuse about going to the restroom or to dance.  When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand.  If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples will hopefully be enough.  

If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know.  For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way.  

It becomes more complicated when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails.  It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee.  If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal.  

When your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated.  You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan.  A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling.  If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know.  The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible.  This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there.  

What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer?

Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone.  If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy.  When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation.  

We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour.  In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs.  While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention.  Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating.  Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. 

 In person, it becomes a bit more difficult.  Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem.  If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them.  Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior.  

Bottom line?

Without a doubt, at some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you.  Although you may be tempted, do not take it personally, simply move on.  

Valentine’s Day is only a few weeks away! Check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Swingers should celebrate the new year by leaving politics behind.

Swingers symbol

In prior blogs, I have written about how open-minded and all-inclusive swingers tend to be.  Swingers are generally not judgmental and try to be open to others regardless of their race or religion.  A visit to a swing club or any other lifestyle venue would lead one to believe that the world could learn a lot from people who swing.  It is very common to see interracial couples, lesbian couples, and even the occasional crossdresser or transgender person partying alongside everyone else.

So what is happening?  A quick visit to Facebook shows me that perhaps I was wrong.  Facebook has become a battleground between political parties.  Is politics the great divide?  It is very uncommon to hear swingers discussing politics when they are out partying. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen, it just seems a bit rare.  Swingers are out looking to have a good time, not an argument over politics.

The pandemic has created a great divide amongst those in the lifestyle.  There are swingers who are opting to remain at home and ride it out and others who are throwing caution to the wind.  Whichever side you are on, spewing hatred to those with opposing views is not likely to change their behavior.

What makes it so easy to be so hateful on social media?  Is it easier to speak your mind when you are behind a computer screen?  Apparently so, but whatever is fueling the hatred, it is sad to watch.  People unfriending each other, while others threatening harm if they don’t see things their way.  Groups of people ganging up against others to belittle and verbally assault their opinions if they don’t mesh with their own.

What happened to the fun-loving community we were in just a few months ago.  There was talk about politics but it seemed a little more respectful.  Now it is a war zone and I’m not sure where this is heading.  If this were to erupt into a public confrontation (perhaps if couples meet up in a club or resort), I’m quite certain it could have some very serious consequences.

What do we accomplish when we vent our political agenda on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, etc.  Not much more than making friends with those who agree, while making enemies with those who won’t tolerate a difference in opinion.

We must try to remember who we were before this election.  Most of us were friends with common lifestyle choices.  None of us cared what our lifestyle friends did for a living, what color they were, what religion they practiced.  Our only concern was making a connection to have a good time, a fun night, perhaps a life long friend.  We were all on the same side.  Our common goal was protecting and defending a lifestyle that we all partake in.

Politics has no home in the lifestyle.  Religion is not something that we discuss either before or after playing with other couples.  What difference does it make what their views are?  We are there to have a good time; that’s it, that’s all.  If we allow politics and religion into the lifestyle, it will cease to exist as we know it and the safety of everyone at a lifestyle event will come into question.

Just like people who do not accept swingers or swinging, we must accept their views.  We may not agree with them but we know that we might not ever change their minds.  For this reason, many swingers keep silent about their lifestyle choice.  We would all be upset to hear them bashing us for our lifestyle because it would be unfair of them to judge us.  Isn’t that what we stand for?  We are a minority but feel strongly that we are entitled to do as we see fit.  After all, we are not harming anyone.

It is the same for politics.  Everyone has the right to their opinion but they do not have the right to bash others if their views are different.  It doesn’t solve anything but it does create a lot of hatred and division.  Let’s go back to showing the world that swingers are lovers and not haters.  It starts here…

Find new and exciting pieces of our lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Keeping the excitement of the lifestyle alive during COVID.

Swingers frequently refer to the lifestyle. What exactly is the lifestyle?

Swingers at club wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

The first time my husband and I went to a swing club, it was strictly out of curiosity.  His, more than mine.  My husband had heard about a local swing club and was eager to see what it was all about.  Our lives were busy with work, kids, and vanilla friends.  I don’t think either one of us felt we were ‘missing’ anything.  We were very sexually active together and we both liked to explore new things.  Since a swing club was  something we had never explored, my curiosity got the better of me and I agreed to check it out.

Upon entering the swing club, it became clear that many people seemed to know each other.  They stood around in clusters talking, laughing, and drinking.  The dance floor was already packed with people.  Immediately I felt a sense of community within the club.  Couples drifted from group to group, kissing and hugging like (warm) old friends.  

As soon as we approached the bar for a drink, a couple seated at the bar spoke with us.  Having been to many bars and clubs over the years, I was surprised at how friendly they were. It was rare that strangers would start a  conversation with us when we were out.  

The couple asked if it was our first time at the club.  The man noted that he had never seen us before.  I asked if he knew everyone else in the club that evening.  He glanced around and said that while he didn’t know everyone’s name, he recognized most of the people.  As we knew nothing about swingers, this came as a surprise to us both.  Namely, the fact that these people did not simply choose this swing club for a Saturday night outing.  Clearly, these people were regulars and that is why they all seem to know each other.

That first night at the club was fun.  We drank, we danced and we mingled easily with other couples.  It seemed to us that people recognized very quickly that we were new.  Considering there were well over 100 people there that night, we were surprised and impressed.  

It seemed only logical to return and get our money’s worth since membership was required to enter the club,   Our rationale was that since we had already paid, we should make use of the 3-month membership.  

In the beginning, we visited the club about once a month on Saturday nights.  Although some couples had mentioned that they frequently spent 2-3 nights per week there, we were skeptical.  Why would we spend so many nights each week in a swing club?

Well, before long, that changed.  Slowly but surely, we started to try different nights at the club and we were hooked!  It was so easy to simply show up, without having to make plans.  Each night we went was a slightly different crowd but there were many regulars that we looked forward to seeing.  I have to admit, the atmosphere can be intoxicating.  In all honesty, over time, we preferred our nightlife at the club, to anything else we had done in the past.

The club became like Cheers (the infamous bar on tv).  Everyone knows your name, what you drink, what music you like to dance to, etc.  It was about more than just sex.  The club was a place where you could let your hair down and just have a good time.  Before we knew it, without ever knowing such a thing existed, we were a part of it.  It is called the lifestyle.

Our nights revolved around the club, we discovered a local nude beach and Sunday Fundays became a ritual.   Before long we were vacationing at lifestyle resorts and enjoying sleepovers with friends.  What started out as an adventurous night out to see a swing club had morphed into a whole new way of life!

As a result of the lifestyle, we lost some vanilla friends over the years. It became almost impossible to maintain some of those relationships because we became unavailable.  Committing to an evening with vanilla friends kept us away from the lifestyle for a night and we rarely wanted to stay away.

Does everyone who visits a swing club succumb to the lifestyle?  Whatever happens, it is obviously a choice that you make.  Some people enjoy an occasional night out with other swingers, either in a club or elsewhere.  On the other hand, there are those who jump right in and embrace the lifestyle right from the beginning.

Finally, those who are not in the lifestyle are probably wondering if  we are happier in the lifestyle than we were prior.  The answer is yes.  We love the way of life, the friends and the fun.  There is a camaraderie in the lifestyle that we have never found elsewhere.  Sure, we had good friends, but it was not the same.  There is freedom in the lifestyle that you do not find elsewhere.  

Try it!  You might like it!

The holidays are here and Partners ID has great gifts for all of your friends and lovers in the lifestyle!  Check out our shop here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Keeping the excitement of the lifestyle alive during COVID.

Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

This is not your typical story but thought you might enjoy it so here goes.

My wife and I have been married for 24 years.  Although we are happy, like many other couples, the routine of daily life set in and I was bored.  Perhaps it comes at a certain age where you realize you have more behind you and strive to make each day count.  

We became aware of the lifestyle a few years ago when we were approached by a couple at the airport while waiting to board a plane to Mexico. Apparently, they were heading to a swinger’s resort and believed we were as well.  

After this incident at the airport, I became curious and started to research the lifestyle.  My wife had no interest and did not want to discuss the possibility.  

Fast forward 3 years and my wife was finally ready to explore the lifestyle.  After reading blogs and asking questions on forums, she began to show some excitement at the possibilities.  My wife has never been a prude and her renewed interest in sex and exploration was exciting for us both.  Realizing that many women in the lifestyle identify as bisexual really piqued her interest.

We did our research about different clubs in our area and chose one.  She bought some sexy clothes and shoes and we were looking forward to our first lifestyle night out.  Then came COVID, the club shut down and we had to put this venture on hold.

As the months dragged on, my wife began to worry that we would never have the chance to explore the lifestyle.  Her birthday was fast approaching and then it hit me.  Buy her lifestyle jewelry!

My wife loves the necklace I bought and she wears it every day.  Although we don’t get out much,  she puts it on every morning. In any case, just seeing it turns me on.  Hopefully, I will be writing back soon to tell you that it worked its magic!

Seems silly but this necklace has become a symbol of things to come for us.  Now I’m hoping she will reciprocate and buy me a black ring.  

Wish you a happy and healthy holiday season!

Cheers!

Walter and Katrina

Forums are an incredibly helpful tool for people in the lifestyle.

Couple reading a swinger forum

 

One of the many useful things that the internet has brought to us is our ability to communicate.  We email friends, we stay in touch with grade school buddies on Facebook, we comment on issues trending on Twitter, etc.  

When we have a question and do not know where to turn, we realize how helpful technology has become.   Even finding like-minded people to communicate with has become as easy as a click on the computer.  If you have a search engine, you have an opening to the world.  Close friends and relatives can be great resources, but sometimes we are looking for advice about things we prefer not to share with people close to us.

Back in the 1970s, many people enjoyed reading advice columns such as Dear Abby and Ann Landers.  Unfortunately, those columns dealt with topics of general interest.  While both columns were quite popular, people looking for something more sinister would not turn to either column for advice.

In the beginning, the internet offered chat rooms, which allowed us to communicate with others with similar interests.  Before becoming riddled with predators and other sketchy characters, chat rooms were somewhat useful.  One of the downfalls was that the only people who would see your question were those online at that moment.

Today, with so many social platforms, finding forums online is very easy.  This is especially true for swinger sites.  Most swinger dating sites include a forum.  Although popular websites such as Craigslist and Reddit also contain forums with swinger type discussions, they tend to attract trolls.  These participants are not there to help but rather to either provoke sexual talk or rile up the writers.

It is no surprise then, that so many swingers turn to forums on sites designed specifically for swingers.  There are quite a few out there and they are all very helpful.  

Situations that arise for swingers are unique and only another swinger can possibly relate.  The discussions range from topics such as ‘How to get my significant other into swinging’ to ‘I get off watching my husband get pegged, is that normal?’

In times of uncertainty, swingers generally cannot discuss problems that arise from swinging with their family or vanilla friends.  Most swingers will not call their mom on Sunday morning to complain that their husband wants them to try double penetration and they are not up for it.  Or that they took one for the team the previous night and were not happy about it.

 At times, swingers prefer to discuss their problems anonymously.  They might be looking for perspective on a situation they have encountered.  Perhaps a close swinger friend is a good resource but sometimes people would like to speak their mind and remain anonymous.  It is very easy to be honest when nobody knows who you are.  This applies to both the person posing the question and the people who respond.

Forums truly are a wonderful tool to help navigate all things lifestyle.  At times simply reading what others have to say helps to give swingers perspective on how others see situations.  

Swinger forums are also wonderful resources for party ideas, shoe shopping, vacation destinations, and swing clubs.  If you reach a forum and do not see what you are looking for, start your own topic!  Most forums will send you an email alerting you that someone has responded to your post.

Forums have truly made it easy to get the answers to whatever you might be looking for.  Anyone can join and comments are always welcome.  Sure, sometimes people will not agree with you, but either way, it helps to get perspective whether it is positive or negative. 

To see the Partners ID forum click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/forum/

We have many new pieces of lifestyle jewelry!  Come check them out here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

You need to add a widget, row, or prebuilt layout before you’ll see anything here. 🙂

The lifestyle should be easy and fun. Are you struggling?

Couple new to the lifestyle wearing Partners ID Lifestyle Jewelry

We met a couple recently who told us that they find it very difficult to meet other people in the lifestyle.  I was a bit surprised because I have seen them both in a very busy swing club and at several private parties.  They are both attractive yet admittedly a bit reserved.  She is friendly when approached but he comes across as aloof and disinterested.

The next time we saw them in a swing club I observed them.  They came into the club and headed straight for the dining area.  To begin with, they did not make eye contact with anyone as they walked.  Rather than sitting at the long cafeteria-style table, they opted for a small, private table in the back.  This, in my opinion, was a mistake.  The long tables make it impossible to avoid meeting other people.  You are seated next to and across from quite a few people and it makes it very easy to simply join in on conversations. 

After dinner, the couple grabbed their wine glasses and sauntered around the club.  The two bars were crowded with people laughing and having fun.  Rather than attempting to join the crowds, they linked arms and moved past them.  They eventually sat down on some stools which face the dance floor. 

Early in the evenings, when the club is quiet, it is the perfect opportunity to mingle with other people.  Sitting on a couch, where others will have to sit next to you, or across from you would be a better strategy.  I noticed that they always chose to sit alone.

When the music picked up and people started to dance, they made their way to the dance floor.  Many couples flirt and interact on the dance floor, but they did not.  In contrast, they danced close to each other, never checking their surroundings to see if others were interested in mingling with them.  

Later that night, we went outside to get some air and sat amongst a group of smokers on the benches. Honestly, we meet most people when we are outside because the music is quiet and we are sitting close together on the bench.  This couple arrived outside, said hello to us, and moved away from the group to stand alone.  

Do you see the pattern here?  If I did not know them, I would say they are not interested in meeting other people.  I believe that they act like they don’t want to be approached and so others see this and stay away.

Success in the lifestyle is up to you.  People who are warm, friendly, and open to meeting others will meet people.  Everyone who attends a swing club is looking to meet people.  Even the cliques that hang together are open to meeting new, friendly faces.  

Imagine if this couple tried a new approach.  To begin with, when they enter the club, smile, and say hi to the people they walk past on their way to the dining area.  Next, grab a plate and sit amongst the other people at the long table.  Join in one of the conversations or compliment someone on their outfit or shoes. As they finish dinner, tell the couple sitting next to them, see you on the dance floor.  Stop to get a drink at the busy bar.  Smile as you say excuse me to get closer to order a drink.  Introduce yourself to someone at the bar and ask them a question about anything.  Show interest in getting to meet them.

Whatever happens, even if you don’t have luck at that bar, find a place to sit where there is another couple.  Take a seat and start a conversation.  Smile, show some interest in what they have to say.  

Next, when you hit the dance floor, don’t dance closed up to the people around you.   Smile at others and feel free to lightly touch people on the back to let them know you are there.

Then, when you go outside, sit on the bench with the group.  Ask them to make room for you and join their conversation.  When you find a couple that is friendly and you have some interest in them, tell them you’ll see them in the back room.  You never know!  Maybe they will join you!

Without putting yourself out, meeting others can be difficult.  While nobody likes rejection,  a couple who seems disinterested is unlikely to be approached by others.  Above all, smile, be warm and friendly and show some interest in others.  This approach is guaranteed to help you to meet others in the lifestyle. 

 

Have you seen our lifestyle jewelry?  New pieces are arriving daily for the holidays!  Check them out here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

Halloween is the perfect time to rock your alter ego!

Halloween costume with Partners ID tattoo and swinger symbol jewelry
People frequently ask us what we will be dressed as for Halloween.  Naturally, our answer is always the same; swingers of course!  No, we are not party poopers and we have come up with some pretty clever costume ideas over the years.  What we have noticed, is that there are many people who take this opportunity to dress up in a way that makes them unrecognizable to others.  We believe that there is a reason they do this.
Some people in the lifestyle are extremely outgoing and have no problem approaching other couples.  Every chance they get, they mingle and flirt and generally know most of the people at any party by the end of the evening.  Then there are others who are too shy or insecure to approach other couples.  This makes Halloween the perfect opportunity for them to come out of their shells by hiding behind a costume.
Think about it, if you are wearing a mask and people cannot identify you, do you not feel bolder?   If you approach a couple and you are wearing a mask, chances are they will be very friendly because they are not sure whether or not they know you.  This is exactly what we have observed occurring every Halloween.  There are always a few couples wearing the kind of costume that makes it impossible to guess who they are.  It is very possible that some of these masked guests are new to the lifestyle. They are taking the opportunity to visit a swing club and remain anonymous.

Whatever the case, if you are one of those “shy” people, perhaps this is the perfect time for you to take advantage and go after what you want!  There are women in the lifestyle who always wear a wig when they are at a lifestyle event.  They claim they have more confidence because people do not recognize them and they like it that way.  Costumes are also a good conversation starter.  Complimenting others on how clever they are or how perfect their costume, makes it easy to open the dialogue.  Once you have begun a conversation it is easy to introduce yourselves and ask the other couple questions about themselves.

 The other fascinating part of dressing up for Halloween is noticing costume choices.  I cannot help but observe that some of the quieter more shy couples take advantage of this holiday by wearing outrageous costumes.  Some choose very provocative, sexy costumes.  Many of the timid girls tend to go for the slutty look and the men frequently focus on calling attention to their genitals in one way or another.  It always makes me wonder if they wish they could be more sexually open on regular lifestyle nights.
Even the play areas during Halloween seem busier than usual.  Many couples keep their masks on, and again, seem more determined than usual, to go after what they what.  Somehow, the use of masks in the play area is reminiscent of the movie Eyes Wide Shut ( a 1999 erotic drama film) starring Tom Cruise.
Whatever the case may be, whatever your costume of choice, tonight is the night to be bold and go for what you want.  Costumes allow us all the freedom to be someone else for an evening.  What could be more liberating than that?
Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry so even though others might not recognize you, they will recognize your jewelry!  Find it here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net