Besides Great Sex, What Do Women Gain From Swinging?

Couple in lifestyle wearing Partners ID swinger jewelry

What brings women into the lifestyle?

For women who are not in the lifestyle, it is common for them to believe that women are not really in the lifestyle of their own accord.  Most vanilla women tend to think women are being pushed into this by their partners.  This wild life of sex can only be something that appeals to men.

Is this true?  Are women only in the lifestyle to make their significant others happy?  The best way to find out what is fact and what is fiction is to see for one’s self.

While the swinging lifestyle conjures up images of orgies and gang bangs, it really is so much more than that.  It is a lifestyle of friendship and acceptance.  It is a world of open-minded adults coming together for a common good.

What do women gain from the lifestyle? 

The first thing that comes to mind is confidence.  The lifestyle is not only about you and your partner as a couple, it is also about you as an individual.

Let’s be honest, it is not easy growing up female.  Most women would agree that we are held to a much higher standard than men.  First, we are expected to be perfect.  Not only the way that we look and dress but the way that we act.  This is something that begins when we are very young.  Unfortunately, the standards don’t really change as we age.  

To begin with, young girls are constantly seeing images of  beautiful women in magazines and on tv.  These ideals are things that girls grow up believing to be of utmost importance.  If having a perfect  body, hair, makeup, and clothing is not a must, why are those predominantly the images we see?  

Women have been calling for change for at least the past several decades and although we have made many strides, we are still falling short.  

In fact, if you google “50 most famous women in the world 2020” you will see what I’m referring to.  The first 20 names to appear on that list:

  • Rhianna
  • Beyonce
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Britney Spears
  • Michelle Obama
  • Taylor Swift
  • Paris Hilton
  • Madonna
  • Miley Cyrus
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Katy Perry
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Mariah Carey
  • Jennifer Lopez
  • Marilyn Monroe
  • Jessica Alba
  • Fergie
  • Scarlett Johnson

Actually, I was happy to see at least Oprah, Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama made the list.  Not to mention, this is the list and I did not even query attractive or hot in my search.  Imagine if I had…

So here are the most famous women from 2020. These are the faces and bodies that little girls are growing up comparing themselves to.  It is easy to see why women are so critical of their own looks. 

*Before googling this list, I researched to know which word constitutes the most visible:  accomplished, prominent, well-known, influential, famous, or celebrity.  While the other lists had more women who were known for their great accomplishments and achievements, they are not women who are as visible or easily recognizable as celebrities.

The other standard that only seems to apply to women is with regard to sex.  When men sleep around they are studs, when women do it they are whores.  Why the double standard?

 Enter the lifestyle…

Initially, before entering the lifestyle, I imagined every woman would be a perfect 10.  The thought of competing with such beautiful women for the attention of men seemed daunting.  It was reminiscent of high school and made me very nervous.  

However, our first night at a swing club proved me wrong.  The variety of women that were in the club was a huge surprise.  Some old, some young, some thin, some over-weight, some tall, some short, etc.  Although many women were wearing sexy dresses, many wore jeans and sandals.  Finally, contrary to what I had imagined, there was definitely no predominant “type” of woman.

Anyhow, It did not take long to discover that women in the club were sexy for a whole different reason than the size of their body parts.  I also discovered that women in the lifestyle were applauded and held in high regard for their sexuality.  Suddenly, the double standard was gone.  In all honesty, what I noticed, was that women who had spent their lives hiding their desire to explore sex and their sexuality were applauded.

The lifestyle empowers women.  It allows them the freedom of expression in every way possible. In fact, no more judgment about either their size or their sexual appetite.  

The lifestyle proves to women that regardless of their appearance, others will find them attractive.   While some people like bigger women, some like smaller.  Additionally, just like women, men all have different ideas of what makes a man or another woman attractive.

Women have a lot of power in the lifestyle and it spills into their real lives as well.  As a result, the lifestyle gives a voice to women.  Women soon discover that they are not there to please their partners but rather to please themselves.  More importantly, the lifestyle teaches women to love their bodies.  Although many lifestyle venues are a mixture of nudists and swingers, both of who seem confident in their naked bodies.  This is a beautiful thing.

Then, what is the bottom line?  What women gain from swinging is more than just fabulous sex.  It allows them the freedom to be who they are and to feel good about it.  

Check out our lifestyle jewelry! Makes it easy to spot and meet other swingers! https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/  

*https://autobiography.tech/50-most-famous-womens-in-the-world/

Rejection in the lifestyle; what’s the best way to say thanks but no thanks?


Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Rejection is never pretty. 

Regardless of how we dress it up, rejection is still ugly.  It is hurtful and often feels personal.  

For everyone in the lifestyle, this is something we must face at some point,  either as the rejector or the rejectee.  First of all, this is normal.  Everyone will not like everyone else, but figuring out how to let them know is never easy.

Swinging is a lot like dating.  

At times we have an attraction to someone and that attraction is not returned.  We want someone to like us but they do not.  When we are talking about dating, it is fairly straightforward.  One person must like one person.  In swinging, this is much more complicated.

Every couple in the lifestyle will agree that couples finding couples is much more difficult.   

Swingers often take to dating sites like SDC, Kasidie,  Airtight, SLS, Quiver, etc., to find other swingers.  They scan their pictures and read profiles in the hopes of finding like minded and attractive couples to meet.  

The process on swinger dating sites generally involves one couple picking out another and sending them an email expressing interest.  The receiver of the email will open the profile of the sender and begin with their photos.  If there is any spark of interest, they will read the profile.  

If the receiver of the email likes what they see, chances are they will respond to your email.  

What happens if the couple opens the email and has no interest?  

Many times they will simply delete the email and forget about it.  Obviously you will realize they are not interested right?

This way of handling an email of no interest is called “ghosting”.   Some couples feel this is the easiest way to convey there is no interest.  Other couples feel you owe some type of response to the people who sent the email. 

How do you reject someone without hurting their feelings?

Is it possible to turn someone down without hurting their feelings?  It seems that whatever you say will cause some pain.  Often times couples say they simply reply:  “We are not a match.”  Surely the couple reading that email will take it personally, especially if their profiles seemed to align.   This truly is the kindest possible response.  No need to explain why, just a simple reply to let them know.

Sometimes couples feel compelled to be honest

Honesty is the best policy, right?  Here I have to disagree.  There is no need to explain that one of you is not attracted to the sender.  No need to comment on their age, weight or other physical characteristic.  There is never a reason to be cruel or hurtful.

If you specified in your profile that you are looking for something specific that does not match the sender, then it is ok to point that out.   Although you have a good reason to reject them, there are ways to say things without being mean.

What if you are not interested in a couple you meet in person?

Rejecting couples in an email is not that hard.  What happens when you are face to face with a couple and you have no interest?  If this is a couple that approaches you in a club, it is easy to walk away.  You make an excuse about going to the restroom or to dance.  When you do not return, that should be easy for them to understand.  If they seek you out upon your return, letting them know that you would like to walk around and talk to other couples will hopefully be enough.  

If a couple is trying to join you while in a play area, usually simply not responding to their advances is enough to let them know.  For the bolder couple who does not seem to pick up on non verbal cues, saying no thank you should send them on their way.  

It becomes more complicated when you have agreed to meet in person after exchanging text messages or emails.  It is probably a good idea to make your first meeting for a quick cup of coffee.  If there is interest, you can always move to sharing a meal.  

When your date with another couple is over a meal, this can be more complicated.  You and your partner should think about this beforehand and come up with a plan.  A simple gesture that you agree upon will let each other know how you are feeling.  If one of you wants out, the gesture will let your partner know.  The plan should include a way to graciously end the date as soon as possible.  This can be followed up with an email explaining that although you thought they were very nice, the chemistry was not there.  

What about the couples who simply won’t take no for an answer?

Rejection is always hard because you know you are hurting someone.  If the other couple is gracious, this makes it easy.  When the other couple simply won’t take no for an answer, it can lead to a much uglier situation.  

We have found ourselves in situations where a simple no thank you has turned sour.  In a case like this it is important to remember that it is not your problem, but theirs.  While we chose to take the high road and be kind, there are couples who somehow feel entitled to your time and attention.  Whether this occurs online or in person it can be frustrating.  Blocking the couple online is a no brainer. 

 In person, it becomes a bit more difficult.  Avoiding them seems to be the only way around a future problem.  If they hang out in the same club as you, chances are you are not alone in your dealings with them.  Eventually these couples are isolated because of their behavior.  

Bottom line?

Without a doubt, at some point in time you will have to reject couples and couples will reject you.  Although you may be tempted, do not take it personally, simply move on.  

Valentine’s Day is only a few weeks away! Check out our lifestyle jewelry here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Swingers should celebrate the new year by leaving politics behind.

Swingers symbol

In prior blogs, I have written about how open-minded and all-inclusive swingers tend to be.  Swingers are generally not judgmental and try to be open to others regardless of their race or religion.  A visit to a swing club or any other lifestyle venue would lead one to believe that the world could learn a lot from people who swing.  It is very common to see interracial couples, lesbian couples, and even the occasional crossdresser or transgender person partying alongside everyone else.

So what is happening?  A quick visit to Facebook shows me that perhaps I was wrong.  Facebook has become a battleground between political parties.  Is politics the great divide?  It is very uncommon to hear swingers discussing politics when they are out partying. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen, it just seems a bit rare.  Swingers are out looking to have a good time, not an argument over politics.

The pandemic has created a great divide amongst those in the lifestyle.  There are swingers who are opting to remain at home and ride it out and others who are throwing caution to the wind.  Whichever side you are on, spewing hatred to those with opposing views is not likely to change their behavior.

What makes it so easy to be so hateful on social media?  Is it easier to speak your mind when you are behind a computer screen?  Apparently so, but whatever is fueling the hatred, it is sad to watch.  People unfriending each other, while others threatening harm if they don’t see things their way.  Groups of people ganging up against others to belittle and verbally assault their opinions if they don’t mesh with their own.

What happened to the fun-loving community we were in just a few months ago.  There was talk about politics but it seemed a little more respectful.  Now it is a war zone and I’m not sure where this is heading.  If this were to erupt into a public confrontation (perhaps if couples meet up in a club or resort), I’m quite certain it could have some very serious consequences.

What do we accomplish when we vent our political agenda on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, etc.  Not much more than making friends with those who agree, while making enemies with those who won’t tolerate a difference in opinion.

We must try to remember who we were before this election.  Most of us were friends with common lifestyle choices.  None of us cared what our lifestyle friends did for a living, what color they were, what religion they practiced.  Our only concern was making a connection to have a good time, a fun night, perhaps a life long friend.  We were all on the same side.  Our common goal was protecting and defending a lifestyle that we all partake in.

Politics has no home in the lifestyle.  Religion is not something that we discuss either before or after playing with other couples.  What difference does it make what their views are?  We are there to have a good time; that’s it, that’s all.  If we allow politics and religion into the lifestyle, it will cease to exist as we know it and the safety of everyone at a lifestyle event will come into question.

Just like people who do not accept swingers or swinging, we must accept their views.  We may not agree with them but we know that we might not ever change their minds.  For this reason, many swingers keep silent about their lifestyle choice.  We would all be upset to hear them bashing us for our lifestyle because it would be unfair of them to judge us.  Isn’t that what we stand for?  We are a minority but feel strongly that we are entitled to do as we see fit.  After all, we are not harming anyone.

It is the same for politics.  Everyone has the right to their opinion but they do not have the right to bash others if their views are different.  It doesn’t solve anything but it does create a lot of hatred and division.  Let’s go back to showing the world that swingers are lovers and not haters.  It starts here…

Find new and exciting pieces of our lifestyle jewelry here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Keeping the excitement of the lifestyle alive during COVID.

Swingers frequently refer to the lifestyle. What exactly is the lifestyle?

Swingers at club wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

The first time my husband and I went to a swing club, it was strictly out of curiosity.  His, more than mine.  My husband had heard about a local swing club and was eager to see what it was all about.  Our lives were busy with work, kids, and vanilla friends.  I don’t think either one of us felt we were ‘missing’ anything.  We were very sexually active together and we both liked to explore new things.  Since a swing club was  something we had never explored, my curiosity got the better of me and I agreed to check it out.

Upon entering the swing club, it became clear that many people seemed to know each other.  They stood around in clusters talking, laughing, and drinking.  The dance floor was already packed with people.  Immediately I felt a sense of community within the club.  Couples drifted from group to group, kissing and hugging like (warm) old friends.  

As soon as we approached the bar for a drink, a couple seated at the bar spoke with us.  Having been to many bars and clubs over the years, I was surprised at how friendly they were. It was rare that strangers would start a  conversation with us when we were out.  

The couple asked if it was our first time at the club.  The man noted that he had never seen us before.  I asked if he knew everyone else in the club that evening.  He glanced around and said that while he didn’t know everyone’s name, he recognized most of the people.  As we knew nothing about swingers, this came as a surprise to us both.  Namely, the fact that these people did not simply choose this swing club for a Saturday night outing.  Clearly, these people were regulars and that is why they all seem to know each other.

That first night at the club was fun.  We drank, we danced and we mingled easily with other couples.  It seemed to us that people recognized very quickly that we were new.  Considering there were well over 100 people there that night, we were surprised and impressed.  

It seemed only logical to return and get our money’s worth since membership was required to enter the club,   Our rationale was that since we had already paid, we should make use of the 3-month membership.  

In the beginning, we visited the club about once a month on Saturday nights.  Although some couples had mentioned that they frequently spent 2-3 nights per week there, we were skeptical.  Why would we spend so many nights each week in a swing club?

Well, before long, that changed.  Slowly but surely, we started to try different nights at the club and we were hooked!  It was so easy to simply show up, without having to make plans.  Each night we went was a slightly different crowd but there were many regulars that we looked forward to seeing.  I have to admit, the atmosphere can be intoxicating.  In all honesty, over time, we preferred our nightlife at the club, to anything else we had done in the past.

The club became like Cheers (the infamous bar on tv).  Everyone knows your name, what you drink, what music you like to dance to, etc.  It was about more than just sex.  The club was a place where you could let your hair down and just have a good time.  Before we knew it, without ever knowing such a thing existed, we were a part of it.  It is called the lifestyle.

Our nights revolved around the club, we discovered a local nude beach and Sunday Fundays became a ritual.   Before long we were vacationing at lifestyle resorts and enjoying sleepovers with friends.  What started out as an adventurous night out to see a swing club had morphed into a whole new way of life!

As a result of the lifestyle, we lost some vanilla friends over the years. It became almost impossible to maintain some of those relationships because we became unavailable.  Committing to an evening with vanilla friends kept us away from the lifestyle for a night and we rarely wanted to stay away.

Does everyone who visits a swing club succumb to the lifestyle?  Whatever happens, it is obviously a choice that you make.  Some people enjoy an occasional night out with other swingers, either in a club or elsewhere.  On the other hand, there are those who jump right in and embrace the lifestyle right from the beginning.

Finally, those who are not in the lifestyle are probably wondering if  we are happier in the lifestyle than we were prior.  The answer is yes.  We love the way of life, the friends and the fun.  There is a camaraderie in the lifestyle that we have never found elsewhere.  Sure, we had good friends, but it was not the same.  There is freedom in the lifestyle that you do not find elsewhere.  

Try it!  You might like it!

The holidays are here and Partners ID has great gifts for all of your friends and lovers in the lifestyle!  Check out our shop here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Keeping the excitement of the lifestyle alive during COVID.

Couple wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

This is not your typical story but thought you might enjoy it so here goes.

My wife and I have been married for 24 years.  Although we are happy, like many other couples, the routine of daily life set in and I was bored.  Perhaps it comes at a certain age where you realize you have more behind you and strive to make each day count.  

We became aware of the lifestyle a few years ago when we were approached by a couple at the airport while waiting to board a plane to Mexico. Apparently, they were heading to a swinger’s resort and believed we were as well.  

After this incident at the airport, I became curious and started to research the lifestyle.  My wife had no interest and did not want to discuss the possibility.  

Fast forward 3 years and my wife was finally ready to explore the lifestyle.  After reading blogs and asking questions on forums, she began to show some excitement at the possibilities.  My wife has never been a prude and her renewed interest in sex and exploration was exciting for us both.  Realizing that many women in the lifestyle identify as bisexual really piqued her interest.

We did our research about different clubs in our area and chose one.  She bought some sexy clothes and shoes and we were looking forward to our first lifestyle night out.  Then came COVID, the club shut down and we had to put this venture on hold.

As the months dragged on, my wife began to worry that we would never have the chance to explore the lifestyle.  Her birthday was fast approaching and then it hit me.  Buy her lifestyle jewelry!

My wife loves the necklace I bought and she wears it every day.  Although we don’t get out much,  she puts it on every morning. In any case, just seeing it turns me on.  Hopefully, I will be writing back soon to tell you that it worked its magic!

Seems silly but this necklace has become a symbol of things to come for us.  Now I’m hoping she will reciprocate and buy me a black ring.  

Wish you a happy and healthy holiday season!

Cheers!

Walter and Katrina

Forums are an incredibly helpful tool for people in the lifestyle.

Couple reading a swinger forum

 

One of the many useful things that the internet has brought to us is our ability to communicate.  We email friends, we stay in touch with grade school buddies on Facebook, we comment on issues trending on Twitter, etc.  

When we have a question and do not know where to turn, we realize how helpful technology has become.   Even finding like-minded people to communicate with has become as easy as a click on the computer.  If you have a search engine, you have an opening to the world.  Close friends and relatives can be great resources, but sometimes we are looking for advice about things we prefer not to share with people close to us.

Back in the 1970s, many people enjoyed reading advice columns such as Dear Abby and Ann Landers.  Unfortunately, those columns dealt with topics of general interest.  While both columns were quite popular, people looking for something more sinister would not turn to either column for advice.

In the beginning, the internet offered chat rooms, which allowed us to communicate with others with similar interests.  Before becoming riddled with predators and other sketchy characters, chat rooms were somewhat useful.  One of the downfalls was that the only people who would see your question were those online at that moment.

Today, with so many social platforms, finding forums online is very easy.  This is especially true for swinger sites.  Most swinger dating sites include a forum.  Although popular websites such as Craigslist and Reddit also contain forums with swinger type discussions, they tend to attract trolls.  These participants are not there to help but rather to either provoke sexual talk or rile up the writers.

It is no surprise then, that so many swingers turn to forums on sites designed specifically for swingers.  There are quite a few out there and they are all very helpful.  

Situations that arise for swingers are unique and only another swinger can possibly relate.  The discussions range from topics such as ‘How to get my significant other into swinging’ to ‘I get off watching my husband get pegged, is that normal?’

In times of uncertainty, swingers generally cannot discuss problems that arise from swinging with their family or vanilla friends.  Most swingers will not call their mom on Sunday morning to complain that their husband wants them to try double penetration and they are not up for it.  Or that they took one for the team the previous night and were not happy about it.

 At times, swingers prefer to discuss their problems anonymously.  They might be looking for perspective on a situation they have encountered.  Perhaps a close swinger friend is a good resource but sometimes people would like to speak their mind and remain anonymous.  It is very easy to be honest when nobody knows who you are.  This applies to both the person posing the question and the people who respond.

Forums truly are a wonderful tool to help navigate all things lifestyle.  At times simply reading what others have to say helps to give swingers perspective on how others see situations.  

Swinger forums are also wonderful resources for party ideas, shoe shopping, vacation destinations, and swing clubs.  If you reach a forum and do not see what you are looking for, start your own topic!  Most forums will send you an email alerting you that someone has responded to your post.

Forums have truly made it easy to get the answers to whatever you might be looking for.  Anyone can join and comments are always welcome.  Sure, sometimes people will not agree with you, but either way, it helps to get perspective whether it is positive or negative. 

To see the Partners ID forum click here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/forum/

We have many new pieces of lifestyle jewelry!  Come check them out here: https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

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The lifestyle should be easy and fun. Are you struggling?

Couple new to the lifestyle wearing Partners ID Lifestyle Jewelry

We met a couple recently who told us that they find it very difficult to meet other people in the lifestyle.  I was a bit surprised because I have seen them both in a very busy swing club and at several private parties.  They are both attractive yet admittedly a bit reserved.  She is friendly when approached but he comes across as aloof and disinterested.

The next time we saw them in a swing club I observed them.  They came into the club and headed straight for the dining area.  To begin with, they did not make eye contact with anyone as they walked.  Rather than sitting at the long cafeteria-style table, they opted for a small, private table in the back.  This, in my opinion, was a mistake.  The long tables make it impossible to avoid meeting other people.  You are seated next to and across from quite a few people and it makes it very easy to simply join in on conversations. 

After dinner, the couple grabbed their wine glasses and sauntered around the club.  The two bars were crowded with people laughing and having fun.  Rather than attempting to join the crowds, they linked arms and moved past them.  They eventually sat down on some stools which face the dance floor. 

Early in the evenings, when the club is quiet, it is the perfect opportunity to mingle with other people.  Sitting on a couch, where others will have to sit next to you, or across from you would be a better strategy.  I noticed that they always chose to sit alone.

When the music picked up and people started to dance, they made their way to the dance floor.  Many couples flirt and interact on the dance floor, but they did not.  In contrast, they danced close to each other, never checking their surroundings to see if others were interested in mingling with them.  

Later that night, we went outside to get some air and sat amongst a group of smokers on the benches. Honestly, we meet most people when we are outside because the music is quiet and we are sitting close together on the bench.  This couple arrived outside, said hello to us, and moved away from the group to stand alone.  

Do you see the pattern here?  If I did not know them, I would say they are not interested in meeting other people.  I believe that they act like they don’t want to be approached and so others see this and stay away.

Success in the lifestyle is up to you.  People who are warm, friendly, and open to meeting others will meet people.  Everyone who attends a swing club is looking to meet people.  Even the cliques that hang together are open to meeting new, friendly faces.  

Imagine if this couple tried a new approach.  To begin with, when they enter the club, smile, and say hi to the people they walk past on their way to the dining area.  Next, grab a plate and sit amongst the other people at the long table.  Join in one of the conversations or compliment someone on their outfit or shoes. As they finish dinner, tell the couple sitting next to them, see you on the dance floor.  Stop to get a drink at the busy bar.  Smile as you say excuse me to get closer to order a drink.  Introduce yourself to someone at the bar and ask them a question about anything.  Show interest in getting to meet them.

Whatever happens, even if you don’t have luck at that bar, find a place to sit where there is another couple.  Take a seat and start a conversation.  Smile, show some interest in what they have to say.  

Next, when you hit the dance floor, don’t dance closed up to the people around you.   Smile at others and feel free to lightly touch people on the back to let them know you are there.

Then, when you go outside, sit on the bench with the group.  Ask them to make room for you and join their conversation.  When you find a couple that is friendly and you have some interest in them, tell them you’ll see them in the back room.  You never know!  Maybe they will join you!

Without putting yourself out, meeting others can be difficult.  While nobody likes rejection,  a couple who seems disinterested is unlikely to be approached by others.  Above all, smile, be warm and friendly and show some interest in others.  This approach is guaranteed to help you to meet others in the lifestyle. 

 

Have you seen our lifestyle jewelry?  New pieces are arriving daily for the holidays!  Check them out here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

 

 

Halloween is the perfect time to rock your alter ego!

Halloween costume with Partners ID tattoo and swinger symbol jewelry
People frequently ask us what we will be dressed as for Halloween.  Naturally, our answer is always the same; swingers of course!  No, we are not party poopers and we have come up with some pretty clever costume ideas over the years.  What we have noticed, is that there are many people who take this opportunity to dress up in a way that makes them unrecognizable to others.  We believe that there is a reason they do this.
Some people in the lifestyle are extremely outgoing and have no problem approaching other couples.  Every chance they get, they mingle and flirt and generally know most of the people at any party by the end of the evening.  Then there are others who are too shy or insecure to approach other couples.  This makes Halloween the perfect opportunity for them to come out of their shells by hiding behind a costume.
Think about it, if you are wearing a mask and people cannot identify you, do you not feel bolder?   If you approach a couple and you are wearing a mask, chances are they will be very friendly because they are not sure whether or not they know you.  This is exactly what we have observed occurring every Halloween.  There are always a few couples wearing the kind of costume that makes it impossible to guess who they are.  It is very possible that some of these masked guests are new to the lifestyle. They are taking the opportunity to visit a swing club and remain anonymous.

Whatever the case, if you are one of those “shy” people, perhaps this is the perfect time for you to take advantage and go after what you want!  There are women in the lifestyle who always wear a wig when they are at a lifestyle event.  They claim they have more confidence because people do not recognize them and they like it that way.  Costumes are also a good conversation starter.  Complimenting others on how clever they are or how perfect their costume, makes it easy to open the dialogue.  Once you have begun a conversation it is easy to introduce yourselves and ask the other couple questions about themselves.

 The other fascinating part of dressing up for Halloween is noticing costume choices.  I cannot help but observe that some of the quieter more shy couples take advantage of this holiday by wearing outrageous costumes.  Some choose very provocative, sexy costumes.  Many of the timid girls tend to go for the slutty look and the men frequently focus on calling attention to their genitals in one way or another.  It always makes me wonder if they wish they could be more sexually open on regular lifestyle nights.
Even the play areas during Halloween seem busier than usual.  Many couples keep their masks on, and again, seem more determined than usual, to go after what they what.  Somehow, the use of masks in the play area is reminiscent of the movie Eyes Wide Shut ( a 1999 erotic drama film) starring Tom Cruise.
Whatever the case may be, whatever your costume of choice, tonight is the night to be bold and go for what you want.  Costumes allow us all the freedom to be someone else for an evening.  What could be more liberating than that?
Don’t forget to wear your lifestyle jewelry so even though others might not recognize you, they will recognize your jewelry!  Find it here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net

Hilarious swinger stories that cannot be shared with vanilla friends!

Doctor holding condom in front of a swinger

Swingers are a special breed of people.   No topic is off-limits when they talk amongst each other,.  Things that you would never discuss with vanilla friends or close family are perfect things to talk about with your swinger friends.  These are friends who can truly relate to some of the bizarre or hilarious things that happen in the lifestyle.

What’s in your box?

A swinger friend visited a nude beach and while relaxing, observed a beautiful girl walking around showing people something in a cardboard box.  As she got closer, he was eager to not only see what was inside the box but to have an opportunity to meet this beautiful, naked girl.  He waved for her to come over to his group, and with a big smile, she headed in their direction.

When she reached this group, she greeted them with a big smile and put her box on the sand.  My friend peered into the box but wasn’t quite sure what he was looking at.  “Cock rings,” she explained, “you really should try wearing one!”  My friend said the seller was so cute it would not have mattered what she was selling, he was buying.  He reached into the box and chose one.  She showed him how to put it on and he was quite the happy camper. He and his wife left the beach and headed back to their apartment.

Later that evening they were heading out to a swing club so he slipped on the cock ring. He was very excited to show it to his friends.  They got into the elevator along with two elderly women.  The elevator door shut and as the elevator jolted to a start, they hear a clink, clink, clink on the floor of the elevator as the cock ring fell out of the bottom of his pant leg to the ground.  He looked down and says, “Oh, there’s my cuff link!”

Excuse me, can you speak up?

Other swinger friends were traveling to see family out of town and decided to go to a local swing club in the area.  Having heard good things about this club, they were excited to go and meet some new people.  After dressing in their sexy club clothes, they were on their way.  The crowd was great and one couple, in particular, seemed eager to play with them.  Heading into the playroom together, the other couple suggested a private room, to which this couple agreed.

As they are playing, the man starts whispering something into my friend’s ear.  She can’t quite hear him and asks him to repeat himself.  When she is sure she can hear him she sits upright and looks at her husband, who is playing with this man’s wife.  The wife looks over and smiles at my friend.  My friend touches her husband and tells him she’s ready to go.  Confused, he gets up and she is already out the door.  He runs behind her to find out what happened.  The man had asked my friend to poop on his face.  She was sure he was joking but clearly he was not.  He said he likes it and his wife likes to watch.  It grossed her out so much that she had to leave.  Imagine telling your vanilla friends a story like this!

What happens in the dark stays in the dark

Swinger dating sites are a great resource for finding a private party in your area.  When swinger friends of ours found one of interest, they signed up on the guest list.  The address and time for the party was later sent in an email.   The party was planned for a Friday night, which coincided with a parent-teacher conference that was already on their schedule.  They went to meet the teachers, changed clothing in their car and headed off for an evening of fun.

Arriving a little late, they grabbed some drinks and mingled with some of the guests downstairs.  As the evening wore on, couples started to move upstairs to play.  It was dark in the bedrooms so they could see bodies, but they could not identify any faces.  They found a spot on a bed and settled in to play together.  Not long after, the woman next to them reached over and started to touch my friend.  It started as just kissing and before long the two couples were engaged in a four-way.  The other man was eager to swap so they switched and played with the other couple.  Soon my friend heard the other woman screaming in orgasm and showering them when she squirted.

When it was all over, the foursome walked out of the bedroom together so they could properly introduce themselves.  As soon as they got into a more lighted area my friend could not believe her eyes!  It was her son’s teacher that she had just met with earlier that evening!

Excuse me ma’am but is there something you’re not telling me?

A woman we know spends a fair amount of time at swing clubs and lifestyle events. When she attends these events, playing is a priority for her.  She went for a yearly gynecology exam and during the examination, her doctor asked her if she has multiple partners or does she just have sex with her husband.

With the doctor positioned between her legs, peering inside for the exam, her concern was that he was looking at something that indicated an STD or infection of some kind.  She knew him socially (vanilla) and felt she could not possibly tell him about the lifestyle.  She picked up her head and looked down at him telling him she was faithful to her husband.  With that, he reached inside her and pulled out a condom.

Candles create a lovely atmosphere, don’t they?

Swinger friends planned a sexy weekend at a hotel with another couple they frequently played with.  The women decided to check in early to decorate the room and surprise the men when they arrived.  They brought candles, rose petals and candy, massage oils, bath oils, and flowers. By the time the men arrived, the room was romantic and sexy; the women in lingerie, ready for fun. They wasted no time and spent the afternoon playing.  After a fun afternoon, my friends headed out for the evening.  Returning from the restaurant, there were firetrucks leaving the hotel and the guests were walking back inside.  When they asked what was happening, they were told that a guest had left candles burning when they left their room and it started a fire.  My friends were mortified because they realized it was them…

Let’s give these girls a round of applause!

When hosting a private swinger party, it is not uncommon for guests to bring a gift for the host and hostess.  At this particular party, one of the gifts some friends received was a huge pink vibrator that was shaped like a penis.  The party ended late and as they cleaned up, they carefully put the vibrator back in the box and stuck it in a guest room closet.  Several weeks later, their 5-year-old had a friend over.  Her older brother was bothering them and so they wandered into the guest room and closed the door so they would not be disturbed.   During the day my friend works, so the children are left with a babysitter.

Not long after, the babysitter goes into the room to check on the girls.  My friend’s daughter had found the vibrator and they were using it like a microphone, singing karaoke.  The babysitter was shocked but felt compelled to take a video so she could show my friend.   After seeing the video, my friend said she was so embarrassed that she wanted to fire the sitter so she wouldn’t have to face her, but was terrified because she had a video!

As swingers, we never know what crazy situations we will find ourselves in.  What I can say, is that we can never tell our vanilla friends stories like these!

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Nobody would ever suspect us of being swingers!

Swingers wearing Partners ID jewelry

Swingers have a reputation for being degenerates.  People don’t have a very high opinion of swingers. Perhaps people are afraid of what they don’t understand.

It would surprise many vanilla people to realize that they already know people who swing. In fact, it would shock them, to know which ones they are.  Chances are, the real swingers would not even make the list of suspects.

Prior to entering the lifestyle,  I tried to imagine who I might bump into if we went to a swing club.  I was certain that there would be people I know simply because of the proximity of the club to our home.  Finally, we did work up the courage to go.   Although we knew a handful of people at the club, not one was someone I would have suspected! In fact, there were a  few couples I never imagined I would see at a swing club.

I had heard rumors about a certain neighborhood close to my own where swingers were rampant. Supposedly, there was a key club that existed and new members had to be approved in order to join. The group met at a popular restaurant-bar on Thursday evenings to choose new members. Having gone to that restaurant on many Thursday nights to observe, I was certain that these were the people I would see at the club.

Thankfully, I was wrong. The couples at the bar were not the type of people I wanted to spend time with. They were all loud, obnoxious, and very sure of themselves. Were they actually there to join a key club? I’m not so sure. It’s very possible that people came to this conclusion because they were all very drunk and dressed provocatively.

The interesting thing about “real” swingers, is that they are often the last people you would suspect. Many are sexy, full of life, and confident in the lifestyle but reserved and quite ordinary in their daily lives. Swingers frequently laugh about how others think of them as leading boring, conservative lives. Even when others ask what they did that weekend, and they say outrageous things.    “Oh, I watched my wife screw 2 guys while I had 2 girls for myself at our home.”  Friends laugh at them and say things like, “Yeah right,” or “You wish!”

Swingers are frequently forced to endure nasty and uneducated comments regarding swingers and the lifestyle.  At times, vanilla couples throw out comments about how disgusting swinging is and how people who swing are pathetic. They are certain that swingers are in bad marriages and looking to have sex with anyone but their own spouses. It can be very difficult to bite your tongue when people are talking about you. You know the truth about swinging, but most of us choose to remain silent or nod in agreement while feeling angry inside.

Even when swingers attempt to defend the lifestyle while feigning innocence, vanilla couples can be difficult to convince. It often leaves me wondering if they are angry. Perhaps they would like to be brave enough to try swinging and their spouse is against it. Maybe they are interested but not sure if they could handle it. Why else would vanilla people bring up the subject?

These kinds of situations often reinforce the need for swingers to distance themselves from the vanilla community. Discrimination is difficult for anyone to handle, especially when you are hiding the truth to protect yourself. It is hard to not want to educate every person who makes degrading remarks regarding swingers.

Often times, vanilla couples bring up the subject of swinging.  Perhaps they are actually interested in swinging but don’t know how to approach the subject. Although they act like it is something that repulses them, it is in fact done defensively. Many couples have discussed it but want to see how others feel about it. The fear is that if they speak of it in a positive or curious light, others will suspect they are swingers. My suggestion for these couples would be to investigate swinging on your own. Chances are your vanilla friends are not on the same page.

Until swinging becomes more mainstream, we will have to continue with our sarcastic comments and innuendos. When packed for a lifestyle cruise with a small carry on for one week at sea and someone asks, we will continue to say it’s a lifestyle cruise and we don’t need clothing. When coworkers ask what we did over the weekend we will keep on describing the orgies we participated in while listening to them snicker. We will keep on listening to friends tell us we need to get out more that our lives are so boring that if we were a tv show it would be canceled. When friends inform us that sex was meant to be fun when we were younger, we will remember to tell them that we had sex outside the front door last night because we couldn’t wait to get inside.

Although it can be difficult to keep such a large part of our lives a secret,  for most swingers, it must be done. Until society understands the lifestyle and accepts swinging, people run the risk of discrimination. Best to keep a sense of humor about it and feel sorry for those who are missing out. It stands to reason that it is just a matter of time before swinging becomes mainstream.