Why swingers must be quick on their feet if they want to avoid being caught!

Woman in the lifestyle sneaking in with a black Partners ID lifestyle ring

You think being in the lifestyle is easy?  Think again…

Most people take for granted how easy their lives can be.  I don’t mean for the big things, I mean for small, everyday things.  Things that people usually don’t even think about.  That is until they have secrets.  Big secrets; secrets that they hold near and dear.  Secrets that could potentially ruin their otherwise peaceful lives.  

So what exactly is so complicated about being a swinger?  How about getting dressed to go to a swing club or a house party or any lifestyle event for that matter.  In the past several years, we have had a flat tire, gotten a phone call from a child who had been in a car accident and had a situation at home that required us to return before ever making it to the event.  

What’s the big deal, right?  Happens to everyone.  Yes, except everyone is not dressed like a prostitute.  I was.  So now, unlike most people, I must remember to stock my car with a set of vanilla clothing, just in case.

My daughter was married recently and some of my closest friends are in the lifestyle.  As the wedding was small, I was forced to sit my vanilla friends with my lifestyle friends.  We actually had to rehearse all together, how I know my lifestyle friends.  When we met, how we met, how often we see each other, etc.  Do you think that went smoothly after a few drinks?  I happened to walk over and hear one lifestyle couple telling my vanilla friend what the other couple had planned to say.  Not easy…

Even the bride wanted to know why I was inviting two couples she had never met.  “How friendly could you possibly be with these people if I’ve never even met them,” she complained.  Well, let’s see…I’ve had sex with both of them, shared my sex toys and lingerie with both women, and other things I won’t mention.  Yup, I think I know them more intimately than I know most people!

Another thing to consider about being in the lifestyle is telling your children where you are going and with whom.  Faced with the questions before leaving our house, we often discuss this ahead of time to make sure we have matching responses.  I have noticed that children learn the “divide and conquer” method early in their development.  

It gets more complicated when we roll in after 2 or 3 in the morning and areconfronted as we walk through the door.  Don’t they sleep??  These are things to be rehearsed on the car ride home.  It is also important to make sure your hair is combed and your shirt is buttoned properly.  Many of us have been called out for returning home in an abnormally disheveled condition.

As you can see, simple, everyday things can become so much more complicated when you are in the lifestyle.  We will continue to look forward to the day when we can live judgment free!  Thinking of everything that can go wrong and expose us is exhausting!

Tired of sneaking around? Why not hide in plain site with our lifestyle jewelry? Only those in the lifestyle will recognize the international symbol for swingers!  Check it out here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

Swinging; how do I bring up the topic to my significant other?

Wearing Partners ID jewelry is a good way to meet others in the lifestyle.

The most common question asked of swingers seems to be, “How do I get my husband/wife/girlfriend, etc., into the lifestyle?”  

There are many people out there who know about swinging and would like to swing. The problem is, they don’t know how to bring up the subject to their partner.

We have gotten quite a few emails from people who actually ask us this question. I’m not sure how I became the “Dr. Ruth” of swinging but I really don’t mind trying to help.

The majority of the time, this question comes from a man, but we have had women ask us as well. The interesting part is that many people have said the same thing. We often talk about how exciting it would be to bring another person into bed with us.  Although we both get turned on, I’m not sure how to make the leap to actually making this happen!

It is always a good sign if you have a good sexual relationship and can talk about things before you bring this up. It would seem to me that when you approach the subject, it should not be in the bedroom.

Many people like to fantasize to get excited but are not really prepared to act on these erotic imageries.

Several men said their wives get very turned when talking about having sex with multiple men at once. The operative word here is talk. There is a good chance that she is not prepared to actually do this in real life.  So how can you make this happen?

Try talking about how much you love to see your partner so turned on during sex. You love that they like to watch porn or to fantasize. Express how amazing it is that the two of you can share this together.

Mention that something you have always fantasized about was seeing other people have sex. Live sex, not on tv. How hot would that be?  This way you simply mention your desire to find a place where you can actually watch others having sex. This takes the pressure off of your partner.  You are not making your partner feel that they will have to be a part of it.

Check her reaction to a suggestion such as watching live sex.

Does she look at you like you are crazy or does she have a flicker of interest? If you get the ‘you’re crazy’ look, drop it and mention it again at a later time. The next time maybe say you came across this swing club online or in a magazine or a newspaper. After a while, she might get used to the thought. Perhaps your partner would be willing to just go and take a look. Again, it is extremely important to let her know that you just want to see it. That is all you want. This is, the first step.

Most women I have met in the lifestyle agree that it was not their idea to enter a swing club or check out any type of lifestyle venue. It is almost always the man’s suggestion. However, I will tell you that the woman is the one who requests to return. That being said, the major obstacle for most couples, is getting your partner to walk through the front door for the first time.

The smartest approach for many men seems to be to give the woman control of the situation from the very beginning.

When you are able to get her to agree to try it out for one night, encourage her to buy something new that will make her feel good. It is not important that she dress overly sexy, only that she feel good about herself. Try not to be overly eager about getting to the club or event. If you take a more casual attitude towards going, it will make her less nervous.

Most important of all, is when you arrive for the evening, make sure she is your number one priority.

Check to make sure she is comfortable. Make her feel special and attractive. If you walk in and start ogling all the other women, she will not like the environment from the get go. It is ok to be friendly, but let her take the lead and decide who she is comfortable talking to or not talking to. The same goes for a woman bringing a man. If you start to flirt with other people right away, your partner will feel insecure. Swinging must be about the two of you as a couple. If you leave your partner in the background during your visit, chances are, you will not be returning to any type of lifestyle event with them in the future.

The lifestyle is an amazing, exciting and warm environment.

There is no real reason why anyone would not enjoy it, as long as it is approached the right way. The number one problem that couples seem to have, which stops them from ever getting comfortable in the lifestyle, is jealousy. Nobody enjoys feeling insecure or left out. If you do not make it a priority to see to it that your partner is comfortable, they will not want to put themselves in this situation again, and who can blame them?

When you are new to swinging, it is very important to take your time.

Do not enter the lifestyle and think you should swing right away. It is more important to get adjusted to the situation before you take the plunge. Make sure that when you think you are both ready to take the next step, you have discussed it and know what you are both comfortable with. Always make sure to notice if your significant other is ok if you do swap with another couple.

Communication is the key to success in the lifestyle.

At the end of any night together it is a good idea to talk about the experience to make sure she/he was happy and comfortable with what happened. As long as you keep the lines of communication open from the start, you should have no trouble joining the lifestyle and making it a smooth transition. Swinging should be something wonderful for both members of a couple. It cannot work if one person is dragging the other person into it against their will.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

A sure way to find others in the lifestyle is by wearing our jewelry.  Each piece sports the international symbol for swinger.  To see the jewelry click here:  www.swingerjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers

 

 

You might be the good looking one, but I’m the one wearing the lifestyle jewelry!

Painter wearing Partners ID lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

I am happy to be able to write to you about how your lifestyle jewelry helped me to meet someone.  Those stories always make me smile and I think everyone who wears the jewelry is looking forward to writing one of their own.  Here is mine.

A few years ago I was dating a woman who introduced me to the lifestyle.   We spent several weekends each month attending house parties and hotel takeovers.  When we broke up, the prospect of being that single guy did not excite me and so I now only attend house parties if I am specifically invited.

For the past eleven years, I have been working as a house painter. After graduating from high school, my friend and I opened a business and we have done very well.  We have been friends since we were kids.  He has always been the more outgoing, good looking one, I am the quiet, reserved one.  

The next job on our roster was in a very upscale area.  The house is large and the property is isolated.  The nearest house is probably a quarter of a mile away.  It is surrounded by dense forest and a small lake.

The job was to paint the entire house, inside and out.  The first day we arrived it was raining, so we started with the inside.  We were greeted by the homeowners and their two young children.  The man soon set out for work and took the kids with him.   His wife explained that he always takes the kids to school and she picks them up.

The woman was very friendly and showed us around the house.  We set up our gear and got down to work.  Since we have been working together for so many years, we have a system and we each know what our job entails.  

Luckily the weather cleared up and after completing the inside, we were able to move outside to paint.  After getting set up outside, the woman came out and told us there was something she wanted to be fixed inside the house.  We tried to tell her we would get to it later in the day but she was insistent.  My partner generally paints inside and I usually paint outside but she insisted that she show it to me.

I climbed off my ladder and follow her into the house.  She leads me upstairs and into her bathroom.  Pointing to an area of ceiling that she said was imperfect, I looked up.  Not only was she wearing a robe when I looked up but also her hair was in a ponytail. When I turned back to say I saw no problem, the robe was on the floor and her long was hair was hanging straight.   The woman was wearing only her panties.  This was truly a first for me.  I imagine the shocked look on my face told her I was not expecting this.  She pointed to my ring (your ring) and said she had a few pieces of her own.  

Without hesitating, she picks up her phone and calls her husband.   With her husband on facetime, we proceeded to get down to business.  Needless to say, we had a great time!  I did feel bad that my buddy was working but she said he had been flirting with her since day one and she loved that he didn’t get what he wanted.  Had he been wearing the jewelry, she said she would have asked him to join us. 

This went on every day that we were there. Sometimes inside the house. other times outside.  Needless to say, my partner was suspicious as to why she only wanted me to come inside.   I just shrugged my shoulders and I said I really didn’t know why.  

Needless to say, I love my ring it is magical!   I recommend everyone in the lifestyle wear it as it does exactly what it was intended to do!

Thank you for doing what you do!

Warmly,

Steve

Millburn, NJ

Looking for others in the lifestyle? Try checking their jewelry!  If you are interested in purchasing a piece of your own, click here:  https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

A single man in the lifestyle, a very happy ending.

Single man wearing Partners ID Lifestyle jewelry

Dear Partners ID,

I am a single man and I am in the lifestyle.  Let me tell you, it’s not easy for single men.  It’s easy to understand why people have such a negative reaction to single men in the lifestyle.  Trust me, even I have received dick pics in my inbox and I’m not even bi.

It actually takes more effort from the good guys to get past the stigma that is attached to us due to men with bad intentions and/or poor judgment.  Luckily for me, people tend to be able to differentiate the good guys from the bad relatively quickly.  

Although some think otherwise before getting to know me, I am not in the lifestyle for “easy” or “non-committal” sex.  Believe it or not, I took to the lifestyle to find love.  Yes, love, I was looking for a wife.

Like most people who know me, this revelation seemed to shock people.  Why on earth would you look for a wife in a swing club?  That’s like looking for a needle in a haystack! 

Growing up, my parents were swingers.  Although I did not know when I was a kid, I discovered their “secret” when I was in my teens.  It was confusing at first, but after the initial shock, I realized my parents seemed happier than any of my friend’s parents.  They didn’t say they had sex with other people, just that they had close relationships as couples.  It took me a little bit of research on my own to figure out what exactly they were trying to say.

After I turned 40, I realized that I had been serial dating for years and could not seem to find what I was looking for.  After internet dating sites, picking girls up at bars and being set up on countless blind dates I was ready to give up.  Many of the women I dated started out great, but not long into the relationship I could feel the change.  Sex was never as important to them as it was to me.  I wanted to find a woman who actually loved sex and this proved to be very difficult!

Growing up with parents who were constantly physical with each other, I knew this was possible, I just had to find it.  This is what led me to the lifestyle.  

Although there are not too many single women at any lifestyle event, there are always a few.  And guess what?  Many of them are in the lifestyle because they love sex!  It was not hard to meet unicorns and I have dated quite a few over the past few years.  Guess what?  This is not how I met my wife!

Believe it or not, I was in a swing club and saw your lifestyle jewelry!  I bought a necklace and started wearing it all the time.  Even if it wasn’t going to work, I love the design.

Not long after I started wearing it, I met a woman while at a sports bar who noticed the necklace.  She knew what it meant and we started to talk.  That was almost one year ago to the day and we are getting married in March.  Wow!  Best $50 I have ever spent!  And if you are all wondering, yes, she loves sex!

Sorry for the long story but it has a happy ending that I wanted to share with you!  I also want to give a shout out to your customer service girl Julie, who is so patient and kind!  Happy New Year and best wishes to all of you!

Carson

Detroit, MI

Be sure to check out our lifestyle jewelry here:

https://www.swingersjewelry.net/jewelry-for-swingers/

And remember, only Partners ID lifestyle jewelry is recognized around the world.