Temptation: Why it is not a big problem for couples in the lifestyle.

Swingers avoid temptation

Recently, a friend asked me if I had ever watched this show called Temptation Island.

To be honest, I had never even heard of it. She explained a little bit about it and told me she would be curious to hear my take on the show. It sounded interesting so I decided to watch a few episodes. As a swinger, this show proved to be pretty entertaining. According to their homepage, Temptation Island is a reality show in which several couples agree to live with a group of singles of the opposite sex, in order to test the strength of their relationships.

My friend had asked if this was basically a show about swinging.

First of all, for those people who are not in the lifestyle, this concept is exactly the opposite of why people choose to swing. People in the lifestyle are not there to decide if their partner is “right” for them. We do not “explore other relationships” or “test the strength of our relationship”. These are the premises on which this show is based. Ultimately they try to set the couples up for failure for public entertainment. Swinging is not about any of these things.

Couples who choose to enter the lifestyle (when they do it for the right reasons) are there as a couple. They operate as a team. The one thing swingers will say is that the most important part of swinging is seeing their partner happy. The last thing swingers are looking for is to fall in love with someone else.

Swinging is primarily about sex.

We often find ourselves developing friendships and close relationships with other swingers, but there is a line that we do not cross. Most couples are friendly as couples. The communication is generally either between the two women, the two men, or the four people at the same time.

This is not the case with every couple in the lifestyle. There are different types of swinger relationships. Some couples are ok with their partner dating others and forming relationships but this is not generally the case. Most swingers are in the lifestyle together.

Temptation Island is a show that puts couples in situations that would be difficult for even the most solid couples to withstand.

It does its best to create jealousy and mistrust between each individual couple. As the couples cannot communicate for almost a solid 30 days, it becomes impossible to work things out as a couple. To top it off, while they are apart, they are living with members of the opposite sex who are there looking to find love. The concept is the whole “kid in the candy store” type scenario.

The obvious downfall for these couples is the temptation to cheat. The show claims the couple’s inability to remain faithful during these 30 days is proof that their relationships were doomed before arriving. The thing that made me curious as a swinger was twofold:

1. Could vanilla couples who have been together for many years (10+) withstand this 30-day temptation?

2. Could couples in the lifestyle?

To answer question 1 is very difficult. During a few of the episodes, they show snippets of what each partner has been doing. Some clips are misleading and make people think there is infidelity. Would this cause long term committed couples to give in to temptation? I believe it would for the majority of couples.

What about couples in the lifestyle, where having sex with others is part of their lives? Would the temptation prove to be too much? Quite honestly, I don’t think so. I honestly believe that couples in the lifestyle don’t feel the need to cheat. Their relationships are open doors so the thrill is diminished.

Temptation is only an issue when we want something that we should not or cannot have. If the temptation is readily available to us, it would diminish our lust for it.  This would be the case for swingers.  We allow each other to explore these temptations together and so there is no need to crave it.

To be fair, this show works very hard to entertain the viewers.

To accomplish this, they create an environment that would make it difficult for most people to succeed.

Temptation in any form is something that is considered bad or evil.

To avoid temptation, most people would choose to remove themselves (or that which is tempting them), from the situation. This show forces men and women to spend 30 days living with this temptation. So for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, this temptation is staring them in the face. Not only that, the temptation is calling to them and enticing them to act. This type of environment would prove difficult for most people.

Although the show is entertaining, I can’t understand why couples would put themselves into a situation like this. Like every other reality show, the drama is the most entertaining aspect of the show.

To get back to my friend’s question about Temptation Island really being a show about swingers, the answer is a firm no. This show might explain why swinging can be a healthy alternative to cheating. Temptation will occur in most relationships at some point, but it is how one deals with it. Many people will give in to it and take a chance, swingers will point out the temptation to their significant other and see if they can make it happen. One is honest and open, the other is not.