When a friend confides that her sex life has diminished, would you suggest visiting a swing club? I did…
A friend recently confided in me that her sex life has become pretty non existent. After years of great sex, it no longer exists. She wondered aloud if he no longer found her attractive. There was no concern of another woman, they were very happily married. I asked if perhaps it was a hormonal problem and she said she did not believe that was it.
So what’s happening? My friend is very attractive and takes good care of herself. She has a great figure and wears form fitting clothing to show it off. I decided since she was coming to me for advice, I would take a chance.
“A few years ago, my husband and I were in a sexual rut,” I explained. “Sex had become routine. We decided to try toys, watch porn and role play. Although it was exciting for a while, we found ourselves looking for something more. My husband suggested a strip club and this was also exciting at first, but soon we were bored. It was during a night at a strip club that one of the dancers suggested we try a swing club.”
I held my breath and waited for her reaction. She leaned in close to me and with bated breath asked quietly, “And?”
Not sure how to proceed, I turned the tables. I asked her what she would do. Would she be willing to try a swing club?
As I listened to her talk about how disgusting the thought of this was, I stopped her. I decided to take a chance and tell her we had tried it a few times. Very nonchalantly I described the first few nights we had actually visited a swing club. The nerves, the anticipation of what I would see, what I wore and finally what I thought of the experience.
This is perhaps the most important thing that vanilla couples misunderstand about what happens in a swing club. I was honest about my fears regarding what type of people would actually spend time in a swing club. The thought of half naked people walking around touching each other was a fear of mine. I was sure the people would be old and unattractive; that the club would be a dungeon full of scary sights. Not knowing what to expect is perhaps one of the biggest reasons that people shy away from swing clubs.
Her eyes were large as she listened intently. She was dying to know what the club was actually like. It was more shocking for her when I told her it was the exact opposite of what I had imagined. The club was beautiful and upscale. The people were warm and friendly; easy to talk to and quite interesting. Many were professionals and most were genuinely normal, everyday type of people.
I continued to explain that I did not see anything alarming or perverse. Some couples were busy in groups, talking and laughing, some couples were dancing and others simply sat and observed. Both women and men were well dressed. Some women were a bit sexier than others, but if I had not known I was in a swing club, I would not have thought anything was odd. Except, perhaps for the fact that people were so friendly and there was a monitor over the dance floor playing porn.
She was curious to hear whether we had seen people having sex while at the club. There was no intent on my part to reveal that we have been in the lifestyle for many years and spend every weekend at this club. My only interest was to help shed some light on the truth about swing clubs. My answers reflected my views when I was new to the lifestyle.
I admitted that we, too, were curious and so after a few visits to this club we decided to check it out. There was no way I was going to tell her that we had to change into towels to go into the back room, so I left that part out.
It seemed best to explain how respectful others are in this situation. You go at your own pace. If you simply want to watch, that is fine. Some couples simply play with their husband or wife, while others opt to trade partners as they play side by side. Some people like to play as threesomes and some prefer to be in a private room.
I did admit that it was a very exciting way to spend a night. That first visit to the club had ignited a sexual flame within the both of us. The club had a sexy vibe and we liked that. Watching other people having sex was erotic and exciting. The atmosphere is like none other.
My final bit of advice to her was to do some research and perhaps try it out. There is no pressure to do anything. Many people go to swing clubs and simply socialize. Some drink and dance. The most important thing is to do something in her marriage to get it back on track.
The simple act of going to a swing club brought my husband and I closer after just the first time. We were now partners in crime and had something that we did not share with others. It was our secret and it was shocking how it helped us to grow as a couple.
The bottom line is that going to a swing club is an experience. Perhaps one couple will love it and another will not. It is not a commitment of any kind and there are no promises or guarantees of what will happen on any given night. The most important thing to remember is that it is something you do together.
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