We asked unicorns to please help others in the lifestyle to understand (honestly) why they are in the lifestyle and what they are looking for. Here is one very honest answer. It might surprise some people to read!
For those of you who are not familiar with the term, a unicorn refers to a single woman who swings. They are hard to find in the lifestyle but are a curiosity to many people. People seem to always want to know what brings a single woman into the lifestyle.
Here is her story:
I was married for 6 years and for 3 of those years my husband and I were in the lifestyle. Although we were happily married, we parted ways because he got a job overseas. I could not bear to move there and leave my family behind. My parents were not in good health and I am an only child. We are still friendly and perhaps one day we will reunite.
This is how I became a unicorn. As I live fairly close to the swing club my husband and I used to frequent, it was natural for me to return after he left. I spend at least one or two nights a week in the club. Many people at this club were friends with us as a couple so it is easy for me to be there alone. I love to dance and for the small price I pay, I have a full buffet dinner and breakfast. Can’t beat that!
There are a few reason why I remained in the lifestyle. First of all, it is something that has been a part of my life for the past 5 years. Three of them during my marriage, 1 of them as part of a couple and now for this passed year, alone.
What am I looking for? First of all, as I mentioned, I like to dance. If I am being totally honest, sure, I hope to meet a man. Do I want to break up a marriage? No, of course not, but if the marriage is not stable to begin with, I have no control over that. There are married men who ask for my number and express an interest in seeing me outside of the club. It is palpable how many of you are waiting for me to respond absolutely not, I would never do that, but that would not be the truth.
The truth is I sometimes give out my number, it totally depends on the man and his situation. You can see which couples are connected when you are in a swing club. Some are clearly together but they do not really have a relationship. I know some women reading this will accuse me of creating a problem between a couple but the way I see it, it is the husband who is creating the problem. If he wasn’t with me, he would be with someone else. He is the one who is not being faithful.
I have no real interest in being “the other woman”. In the lifestyle, I am so desirable to couples and singles that if I accepted every offer for every party, event, sleepover, you name it, I would be busy 7 nights a week. It is a lot of fun to be the center of attention. I know when I am dancing, all male eyes are on me. Not because I am the most attractive woman, but because I am available and there is no puzzle to solve with matching spouses to each other.
You asked for honesty and I am trying to be completely honest. I am really looking to find someone to be in a relationship with and that is why I am in the lifestyle. Couples sometimes invite me for private weekends and If I am available, I go. Why not? It’s a free vacation and a chance for me to get to know the man more intimately. If his wife knows she can’t trust him, why does she go along with it? If she doesn’t realize what he is really looking for, the question is why doesn’t she know?
Although I do play with both men and women, I am not really bisexual. I go along because as a unicorn this is required. If I were to say I only play with men, I would not be so popular! There are a few other unicorns that frequent this swing club and we all try to be friendly with each other. We establish our territory in terms of who we prefer to end up with at the end of the night. For the most part, unicorns try to respect each other. We often dance together because that too, attracts a lot of attention.
I am not a bad person, just a bit lonely. I am looking for love just like anybody else. Going to a bar or a regular club feels less safe to me. Taking strange men home is always a risk and one that I prefer not to take. The swing club that I go to is on premise, which allows me to play there and go home alone (although, not always alone). I have met single men in the club but for some reason they seem a little bit less safe to me. It seems many of them are married as well.
Hopefully soon, I will meet a man and will no longer be a unicorn! Although many will deny it, I think most unicorns feel the same way!