I love our vanilla friends, really, I do, but a night with them can be very long!
Vanilla friends are great. We have had some vanilla friends for many years and although they might suspect we are in the lifestyle (or something, they’re not sure exactly what we are up to), we have never spoken about it with them.
We try to go out from time to time with our vanilla friends as we hold them dear and do not want to lose their friendship. However, as much as I like them, spending too much time with them can be a drag. The conversations can sometimes seem so pointless and boring that I stop paying attention and my mind wanders. I find myself wondering if they still have sex, if they still enjoy it, if she dresses up for him, etc.
Finally, at one point during the evening, one of the men tells a joke. The joke is: ‘How does a man know if he needs to take Viagra?’ The answer: ‘Just put him in a room with a hot, naked, younger woman and he will know right away.’
As soon as he finished telling the joke, he apologized and explained that it is really just meant for men to hear. (You can imagine my expression.) I told him that I disagreed with both the joke and the notion that women shouldn’t hear it. My husband was cringing and poking my leg, trying to subtly remind me that we were with vanilla folk. I explained that the joke could be used for women as well. Put a young, hot naked guy in a room with a middle aged woman and see if she gets turned on. The first comment from vanilla man: Women don’t have to get an erection to have sex so it doesn’t make sense. I pointed out that women have to get wet and he quickly told me that this is what lube is for. I started to explain that it might surprise him that women can get wet when turned on but realized better to avoid this conversation altogether.
The other part of this joke that I disagreed with was the notion that you put a married, middle aged man (who may or may not need Viagra) with a young, naked woman and he will instantly get an erection. As most of us have seen in the lifestyle, it rarely works like that. Nothing seems to kill an erection like a situation such as this. When men feel the pressure to perform, this is when he most likely will need that Viagra. Most men who are new to swinging will tell you they never missed an erection until they found themselves in this situation. I did not share this information with the group.
That was the only time anything interesting was spoken about. I am not a complete pervert and do not need to talk about sex to find a conversation interesting, but here are a few of the other topics we touched on that evening: What time we go to bed and wake up, the moon, our children, fabrics for sofas, driving too fast, cars, how iguanas are now visible around our neighborhood, etc. There were times when I thought the conversation might become more titillating, but it never took that direction.
Some of these couples spend several nights each week together and I wondered what on earth they talk about. I wanted to try to provoke them by bringing up a spicier topic but was afraid it was the alcohol and chose to keep quiet. I do remember one time in the past asking them if their children ever spoke with them about sex. It was like a tennis match where everyone’s head turned in unison to look at me. Not really, they all agreed. They didn’t even ask if mine do…
Although I do like my vanilla friends, they are nice people and I enjoy seeing them from time to time, I much prefer my lifestyle friends. Our conversations are never dull and I never feel like I have to filter what I want to say. We talk about everything and anything. We share hilarious stories about the lifestyle and swinging, we compare notes about toys, we try on each others slut wear and shoes and we share our husbands. We went to a restaurant with lifestyle friends recently and we switched husbands for the evening. I was her husband’s date and my friend was my husband’s date. It was silly but fun.
We have conversations about double penetration, gang bangs, girl on girl sex, mishaps with condoms, bi sexual men, the nude beach, etc. There is nothing boring about these topics. Sure, we talk about our kids and business, but it is not limited to topics such as those.
This is one of many perks of being apart of the lifestyle. There are no taboo topics, nobody is embarrassed by sexual conversations and gatherings are never boring. I can remember not long ago, a friend of ours was telling a story about a party he went to and thought he got his dick stuck in a girls ass. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.
Life is too short to be uptight. Let your hair down and do what makes you happy. It’s ok to be silly and sexy, after all, you’re not hurting anyone. I am not saying that my vanilla friends aren’t happy, they seem to be, but I truly believe that the freedom lifestyle couples discover, leads to increased happiness. Try it!